Ha!
I cannot BELIEVE they've let me use that title!
Ladies and gentlemen, the collection I've been promising you, the book that scoops up all those little short stories and provides you with some brand new ones, has been unleashed. There won't be a Spoiler Zone post because it's not one of the "book" books, but even so, try to limit the amount you give away about the endings.
Of the new stories included, I'm finding it hard to pick a favourite. The Horror Writers' Halloween Ball is the most out-and-out comedy of the lot, but Across A Dark Plain is a WESTERN, for god's sake, and it was SO much fun changing my writing style slightly to convey that mood.
But I think Get Thee Behind Me, Bubba Moon is probably my favourite. Much like The End of the World (which is also collected here), it's told from the point of view of an outsider, in this case a middle-aged American man. I didn't mean it to be quite so long, but it grew from a short story to a novella before I knew what was happening. The tone of this one is different, too — until a certain pair of intrepid detectives wander in with their bickering and their jokes...
Anyway, I hope you like it. I hope you ALSO like the sample chapter from The Dying of the Light. It is VERY well written, if I do say so myself.
Oh, and speaking of TDOTL, tomorrow I shall be revealing an awesomely cool limited edition alternative cover.
And it ROCKS.
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«Oldest ‹Older 1801 – 2000 of 4344 Newer› Newest»I'm sorry, but no. I do not require help.
(Sorry. Leaving... Be back in hour an a half...))
(Ah okay. I'll fix you then. Try to hold back on the glaring when I do so.)
(No guarantees. And might have a few moments left...))
(Ah sorry poofe! You still hhere?)
*smiles at Death*
Hey, Silver(whatchamacallit) Stay still.
(hello)
(Hey. Wbd but hey. You're currently a wolf in a shed near a bar.)
Woof *-ugh, my head hurts -_--*
*shrugs*
*decides to go find Flick*
*follow the smell of her to the bar and pauses, listening for a sign of where she is*
(Hey El....*smiles awkwardly* have a good time in camp?)
(Hi Elleni, Ive decided to take part in rping.)
*opens shed door slightly*
*pokes out head*
*hears the shed door opening*
*jumps a garden fence and approaches it*
Flick?
*turns head*
(*laughs at Elleni* It can't have been that bad. You're just grumpy. *grins*)
*smiles*
Hey Flick.
(You currently a wolf?)
(yep)
*cowers a bit, remembers last night*
(No my school is not over. I still have A WHOLE WEEK left. And then I might not be on for a week due to camping.)
*crouched down so she's about the wolf's height*
It's okay. Look. I'm me again.
*smiles*
(Ive been off school since end of june cos Ive finished my exams)
*looks up*
*Licks Silente's face*
(Sunday 9:whatever minutes am. Still weekend for me.)
*Licks Elleni's hand*
*laughs*
Hey El
*strokes Flick, rubbing behind her ears*
Long time no see.
Inky. I call her Flick. She's a werewolf, only she can control herself when she's a wolf.
*nudges El with a shoulder*
You missed stuff.
*whimpers*
*-damn, I shouldn't have drunk so much last night-*
*looks at Flick*
*breaks into the house behind them and grabs some clothes that might fit Flick*
*comes back out and sits next to Flick*
Are you changing back?
*whimpers again, indicating yes*
*Runs back into shed*
Loki tried to kill Alastair and Adra!
*decides to skip over the whole, I may be mentally damaged and may or may not forget who I am randomly for no apparent reason part*
*adds figure out what caused it to her to do list*
Like seriously!
*walks to the shed, puts the clothes inside, walk out and closes the door so she has privacy*
*Bones crack and realign*
*yelp turns into a human groan*
Hmm that hurt less than before
*Shakily puts on clothes*
*emerges from shed*
Hey guys
*stretches*
*still hungover*
You have a 'People to Kill' list?
*raises an eyebrow at her*
*tosses a couple of pain killing leaves for Flick to chew*
These should help with the headache.
Thanks a lot *smiles*
*takes headache pills*
*rolls her eyes*
We should probably get out of this person garden..
Yea... MAKE A RUN FOR IT!!!
*walks calmly to the fence, she's not running*
*vaults over it and waits for El and Flick*
*Runs to fence*
Come on El!
*jumps over fence*
Where is El?
(Im now following you on twitter
Silente, do you have twitter? Ill follow you too!)
*nods*
*puts her hands in her pockets and strolls back towards the forest*
So El, you have a 'People to kill' list?
(@SilenteT I don't really go on it much though...orat sall.)
(I don't go on mine much either)
*follows on behind*
...who's on the list?
*grins*
Am I?
Really? How am I lower than Viv?! Or Sir?! Or Dug?! Or Flick?!
Who's at the top?
Oh. Daaaaaymn.
I doth dedicate this page to...er....to friends. *nods*
*stops slightly but then lifts her chin and keeps walking*
*her voice has a weird tone in it*
He's dead. I beheaded him.
*walks faster*
*she hates lying*
(By the search bar, there should be a message icon, when you hover over it it should say direct message)
*walks quicker, following Silente*
Silente?
*coughs*
Sore throat. I haven't fed in a while.
*smiles back at her*
Yeah Flick?
Are you ok?
(*claps* welldone :))
Yeah I'm fine Flick. Thirsty is all.
*is lying completely, she doesn't want people knowing James is alive*
*smiles at them both*
So guess Loki moves up on the list ey El? Since James is already dead.
*detects something wrong, dismisses it warily*
Ok...
I'll be right back guys. I need a drink.
*runs off as a blur to her tree house*
ok, hurry back...
(May I ask, who is James?)
*hurriedly opens a box*
*rolls her eyes at the glitter trap she set herself*
*grabs one of the disposable phones from the box*
*quickly texts 'U Beta not b near bloglnd. El is on 2 us. Viv nose. Dn't ask hw. Sz.'*
*puts the phone into one of her pockets and walks back, grabbing a vial of blood on the way*
Thanks, Elleni! *hugs* *poofs in a cloud of red smoke, like the Wicked Witch of the West* *gleeful cackles slowly drift off in the distance*
(James is a long story. He's a dick. He turned Silente when she was twelve and took advantage of her. He has tortured her, tested on her, abused her, taken advantage of her, killed her, sold her, and a lot more. He's basically her enemy. He hates her and will stop at nothing to kill her.)
(thnx for the info)
Hi Fay...
*the phone in her pocket buzzes*
*ignores it a moment and downs the contents of the vial, crushing it in her hand*
*after a few moments the phone buzzes again*
*smiles at the others*
Heeeeey!
Only here for about ten minutes but... Hai:3
Hai Luciana
You should answer it
(Hey Lucifer!)
Get what?
*the phone buzzes again, reminding her of an angry wasp*
How are you all today?:3
Answer the phone, Silente
(Fine thanks, you?)
Nah it'll be fine.
*the phone buzzes more*
*grits her teeth*
They'll realise they are texting the wrong phone soon.
(Im great thnx)
Nah. I can wait for them to-
*BUZZZZZZZZZ*
*glares angrily*
Stop.
That's good. ^.^
And I'm gooooood.
Though I must leave now - going shopping with my sister and mum. But, before I go: to all who read this message, you matter and perhaps I don't know you that well, or even not at all, but that means nothing because, chances are, you're freaking amazing. I mean, why'd you be on this blog if you don't like Skulduggery Pleasant/Derek Landy? Anyway, you really do matter and you're pretty awesome.
If I don't know you (well), maybe drop me an e-mail? I love to talk to people. :3
And to the people I actually do know well: I love you and I think you're perfect. I hope your day was/is amazing and I'm here if you need me.
Thank you for being you. You're pretty awesome xx
Nope! Look its stopped.
*smiles*
*its silent for a moment*
*phone starts singing Zydrate Anatomy*
Oh My GOD SERIOUSLY?!
*yanks the phone from her pocket and flips it open*
What?!
HEHEHE AND WHEN THE GUN GOES OFF IT SPARKS AND YOURE READY FOR SURGERY!!!!
(Aww that was great, Luciana)
(Right back at ya Lucifer)
(Yo.)
(See ya Elleni)
(Hi Death)
*listens to what's being said*
Yes. I know but-
*grits her teeth*
No I didn-
Yes I know tha-
Yes, you probably could howe-
No don't do that!
Listen. I'll talk later. We can figure it ou-
*sighs and taps hee fingers along her leg*
(Hey Inky!))
(Bye El! Hey Death)
Okay. We'll talk about this later. I have A job to do.
*closes the phone and puts it away*
*walks to where death is*
Hello again.
Who was that, Silente?
9How are you?)
(And hey Silente!))
(I'm alright, thanks!! And yourselves?))
*looks at Flick*
Job offer.
*shrugs*
*turns back to death*
(Im great)
*looks at Silente quizzically*
Ok....
*detects something is off*
What sort of job?
Job type job.
(Might be a bit distant for a while...))
Okay... Whats going on?
(Kk Deathy)
(Okay Death)
What dp you mean what's going on?
What type of job are you doing? I can sense the uneasiness of the situation
*shrugs*
Just a job.
*hesitates a moment then nods*
Someone wants a deliver-
*phone interrupts her once again by singing Zydrate Anatomy*
*sighs*
One minute
*walks off flipping the phone open*
You are not helping.
*arches an eyebrow*
*-deliver what I wonder?-*
*arches an eyebrow*
*-deliver what I wonder?-*
*over the phone*
James: Did you tell them.
No. I didn't.
James: Because they wouldn't know unless you hinted at it.
I didn't hint at anything
James: I will kill them if I have to.
You won't have to.
James: Because you know I can. I won't hesitate to send them to an early grave along with sending you to your grave
*sighs* I know James.
James: You don't have long left. If I find out you told anybody at all I will move the deadline forwards.
You won't have to do that.
James: Good. Watch your back. If you're not careful I will call of this deal.
Who was that on the phone, hmm?
*puts the phone away*
*smiles at Flick walking back to her*
Customer.
Sure... are you forgetting that wolves have an acute sense of hearing?
*raises an eyebrow*
No. I'm not. It was a customer. Pushy one at that.
What deadline, Silente?
The delivery deadline.
*smiles*
You mentioned his name
It was James
James? No it was..Thames. You know, dodgy artefacts man.
Quit the lying, Silente
That was James
No. It was Thames. James is dead.
He was talking about people dying,
His tone was threatening
There was no denying it
Thames is a weird guy. He really wants something I have. Clearly he's willing to kill for it.
*shrugs*
Such is the life of a backstreet dealer such as him.
What do you have that he wants, hmm?
*smiles, she has an answer to this one*
Sorry. Buyer, Seller confidentiality forbids ne frot telling.
((**me **from)
It was James, don't try to deny it. My hearing has never failed me before
*voice raises*
Well clearly it has now! Just because an apple drops a hundred out of a hundred times does not mean it will fall on the one hundred and twentyth times!
*says calmly*
If you know you are speaking the truth, why are you getting so worked up trying to convince me?
Because I have had enough of people not trusting me!
Then give me a reason to trust you, tell me the truth
I am. Thames wants to but something from me desperately and is panicking that I'll sell it to someone else first!
You know, I'm not really afraid of death. All my friends are. My parents are. But I'm not. And I dont know why. Imean, it's not like I welcome it, but I'm not afraid of it... because it's just... oblivion. You know? Peaceful. Well, I'd hope. But even if it wasn't, I wouldn't be afraid. Because... whats the point in being afraid of something thats inevitable? Everything dies. So... why be afraid?
(That's....okay then.)
I know telling the truth is hard
Look at me yesterday, It was hard on me telling you the truth
Sorry. Guess that was rather morbid. Just thinking.
*grits her teeth*
I'm. Telling. The. Truth.
(Nah its fine snow. Nice new name btw.)
(that's ok, Snow)
No. Your. Not
Yeah. I like it. Just... happened when I was talking to my friends one time and came out with "it's what I do. I edit the way you feel".
How're you?
(Im great, u?)
*shakes her head*
I don't have to take this.
*spins on her heal and starts stalking off*
(Im fine Snow.)
*Grabs Silente*
You're not going anywhere until you tell me what's happening
Nothing is happening.
Sure, 'cause you're the type to create over nothing *sarcasm is thick in voice*
I am afraid of death.
I hate things ending.
(Probably not really here. Procrastinating. Memorising bleh.)
(Hi Star XD)
What? Are you still drunk?
*shakes her head and pulls her arm free*
*straightens her jacket and stalks off*
Go sober up!
(Hello probably not here star)
I am sober!
And I know you're lying
*follows Silente*
Stop following me.
*doesn't speed up or slow down, stays the same speed*
I don't LIKE being followed.
Well tough, I will follow you until you tell the truth...I ONLY WANT TO HELP!!!
*stops and looks at her*
How.
Wolves protect the ones they care for (god, sounds soo cheesy)
I will try and protect you any way I can, and trying is half the battle
*rolls her eyes*
It's fine believe me its-
James: *steps out of the shadows laying an arm over Silente's shoulder* *the wolf won't know who he is* Hello darling. *smiles at her*
*stiffens under his arm* What are you doing here?
*growls animalistically*
And who are you?
*-that must be James, I mustn't let him know I know_*
James: *smiles* I'm Silente's husband *bends down, a smirk on his lips, and kisses her*
*goes to push him off but that would give it away* *vows to slap him for this later* *breaks the kiss off before he can do anything more* *she wants to puke* Hello. Where have you been.
James: *laughs and ruffles her hair* Work. You know me, I'm a workaholic *smiles down at her, eyes glinting with mischief*
Her... husband?
*calculates what to do next*
James: Yep. Sweetpea and me.
*elbows him in the side* *she's going to kill him if he doesn't stop*
James: *laughs good naturedly* and you are? *holds out a hand for the wolf to shake*
*Takes his hand warily*
Inky... so, how did you two first meet?
James: She was on a job. *nudges her as if to say 'talk more'*
*smiles, bittersweet* *hee voice is slightly more strained than usual* He was sat at the next table over.
James: Then before we knew it, wham, married. *laughs*
Well. Aren't you...charming *shoots Silente a worried glance*
James: Are you a friend of Silente's Inky? *is still smiling*
Darling.....don't you need to get back to work?
James: Oh no. The boss gave me the day off. Told me if he saw me in the office he'd scare me off himself! *chuckles*
Yes, Im a very close friend of Silente, and I will protect heer from any danger
James: Good to know she has people here to protect her when I'm at work. She's a danger magnet my gall. *smiles at Inky and ruffles Silente's hair*
*closes her eyes and leans against him* *counting very slowly and deliberately to ten in her head*
*Arches an eyebrow*
Oh? What sort of danger has she been in?
James: Oh, you know. Hunters, dealers, the sort. She's like a natural klutz. Aren't you Sil dear?
*keeps her eyes closed* *her voice is barely hiding her hatred* Yep.
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.
*HAS THE POWER TO RESCUE HER OWN ART*
*SOMETIMES*
*THE PICTURE QUALITY DOES NO JUSTICE*
*BUT IDC*
*I FINISHED A THING*
*BASKS IN COMPLETENESS*
(Hello Taia)
*grits teeth* You know, James. If you really loved Silente, you wouldn't put her down like that
*Eyebrows twitch in an anime sort of way*
(Sorry for interrupting, do carry on. :P)
(Hi, Chloe! :))
(Hey Taia! IT'S SPOCK!)
James: oh I'm just messing with her. We do it all the time.
Yeah. He's my dragon breathed ugly....fellow.
James: And she's my cross eyed klutz. *smiles lovingly*
*imagines killing him and smiles back*
(Cool profile pic, I need to show my friend who is in love with him)
(got to go for a bit to pop over to the shop)
(K. Will you be long?)
(Hey Silente! IT IS! :O
@Chloe: Thanks! :) Oh, really? Your friend sounds cool. *nods approvingly* :P
Okay, see you, Chloe! )
OK.
Gonna change my pic back now.
And when I say change it back I probably mean change it to something new.
Or maybe back to something old.
idk.
I basically never change my picture until the opportunity is already in play, so maybe I'll take advantage of this moment. :)
(Yes! Take advantage of this moment!)
(Did you know that animals such as dogs can smell emotions?
You being a werewolf, I'd think about that. :))
(Im back)
So where were we?
(...Well, now I've made a deal out of it, I don't know what to change it to. *facepalms* xP
Hey Star! That's interesting. And also a good idea. *nods* :)
Welcome back, Chloe! :) )
(It is a good idea, Star XD
Good to be back)
(sorry poofed to eat)
James: Well. I don't know really. I got distracted. *smiles at Silente*
*smiles back* *is still imagining ripping him apart* Yeah. He's pretty distracting.
James: Not as distracting as your lips. *leans down to kiss her again*
*screams inside her own head* *manages not to squirm or slap him*
*cringes*
There is tension in the air
*Points to James* You don't happen to know what is causing such a tense atmosphere, do you?
Just found this in an old file.
Titled "Daleks Invade South Wales".
Not sure what this means. :P
WHAT??? DALEKS IN SOUTH WALES!!!
*stiffens*
James: *isn't listening to the wolf* *one of his hands is splayed on the small of her back, holding her where she is* *the other is venturing further down*
*stiffens and turns her head away, face flushed in anger* We have company, darling
James: *laughs* aww. Your blushing hun.
*locks her jaw, smiling* Are you surprised? You tend to have thag effect on my. *steps away slightly, putting space between them*
(@Chloe: Apparently, it's from early 2012, and you're still alive (I presume), so they probably didn't get very far. :P)
Hmm,Wolves don't like to be ignored James *eyebrow twitches*
(I am alive, looks like it, thank god)
James: *looks at Inky* Who's James? Is that the man who hunts you darlin? The one you killed?
*nods* That's the one.
*-damn it-*
*mutters to self* oops
James: *smiles* *-stupid wolf. Thought I'd fall for that-*
Darling why don't you go home? I'll be there soon. *smiles, daggers in her eyes*
James: I want to meet your friend properly. You know i love to meet them.
*stiffens and smiles at him* Yes. I do.
(@Chloe: Hoorah! :P
*goes back to looking through pictures*)
*Readies myself for a fight*
So, what exactly do you want to know, oh-sweet-husband-of-my-close-friend?
James: Oh you know, what have you and my wife been up too. *meets the wolf's gaze*
*coughs* Hub. You really don't have to stay.
James: *turns to her* would you rather we return to your home. Alone. *pointedly lays a hand against the small of her back and steps forwards* *smiles down at her, the other hand moving a strand of her hair*
Yes, I want to know, just to sate my curiosity. You don't have to go anywhere alone
*sighs* We can stay then. So long as she doesn't mind.
James: *nods* Alright then. *doesn't move his hand* So Inky. What do you want to talk about?
-I watch from afar, unnoticed-
Well, you wouldn't happen to know who Silente was on the phone to earlier do you, she insists that its work, but I couldn't possibly figure out who it was
(I just managed to be playing with somehow how failed 20Questions... Heh...))
James: I haven't the foggiest. I don't tend to listen into her phone calls. Which phone was it? *looks at Silente*
*takes out the phone* Flip phone.
James: Ah. In which case it presumably was work.
(Hey everyone!!))
(Hey Death. Hey Raton. How are you both?)
*sighs*I have had enough of the pretences and Im running out of patience
James I know what you are, who you are and you are seriously not good for Silente and I am willing to fight for her
James: *raises an eyebrow*
I'm afraid your mistaken wolf. I am not James. I'm Sammy Ring.
*looks at him in surprise* *shakes her head* Sammy...
(I'm good :) Will be distant.)
(I just found out that one of my friends are a dolphin murderer...
*Sobs*))
*Her eyes are still the odd shade of blue, the sign of being under Loki's control. She sits quietly, picking at the stump where her hand used to be*
*laughs*
You will have to do better than that James. Wolves know when people are lying
James: *smiles at her* I fear your wolf side may be damaged. Come on Silente. Let us get away from such barbaric accusations. *walks away, pushing Silente along by the small of her back*
*growls* Runs and blocks them from leaving
The wolf and I are one, and never fail.
You're not going anywhere
James: *raises an eyebrow* oh aren't we now? *sends a wall of air slamming into the wolf, breaking a few bones, moving her out of the way. *walks on*
*stares at Flick* Please...don't. I don't want you to get hurt.
(I GI VE UP.
*goes back to the long-running picture from before Pigeon Kirk*
Hi Rose!
Hi Ratonhnhaké:ton! (Can I ask, how does one pronounce that?)
WBD)
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