Sunday, May 2, 2010

Babies, Volcano Gods, and Jedward

I have a new niece.

Her name is Sophie, she is nine pounds, four and half ounces with black hair, a squashed-up face, intriguingly large ears, and she is exactly four hours old. The prophecy is now complete. Life is imitating art. Sophie is now Valkyrie. Rebecca and Emily are now Carol and Crystal (sorry girls). I am now Gordon Edgley, and as such, I only have twelve years left before I am murdered by an evil sorcerer.

So much to do, so little time...

The first thing I want to do is thank everyone who turned up at my various tour dates around the world. I’ve already blogged about Hong Kong/Australia/New Zealand, and then I had two weeks off before the UK tour started. It was delayed slightly by the ash clouds from Iceland's volcano, and in fact it looked like I wouldn’t be able to go at all. It got so bad, I was taking votes as to who I should sacrifice to the Volcano Gods in order to appease them. Irish superstar duo Jedward were out in front for the longest time, with Justin Bieber a close second. The problem was, I didn’t really know who Justin Bieber was. Yes, I knew he was, like, eight years old or something, and he sang about true love like only an eight-year-old can, but I didn’t think the Volcano Gods would be satisfied. Justin Bieber is, I think, entirely inoffensive.

Jedward, on the other hand, are hilarious, and I felt they would be a fitting sacrifice. I don’t mind the fact that they can’t sing, and I find it endearing that they are incapable of moving to any kind of rhythm, and I think it is positively adorable that one of them is always a move behind the other in their “dance” routines. Many people mock them, but I say to you- could you do what they do? Could you be asked a question about what dreams you have left, after achieving so much, and proceed to tell the baffled interviewer that you had a dream last night that you were flying...?

I think not.

I couldn’t quite catch Jedward though (they’re surprisingly slippery little fellas), but I think the Volcano Gods were impressed by my intentions, and so they allowed planes to take to the skies once again. I toured the south of England for five days, signed an awful lot of books and pieces of paper, and stayed at some truly odd hotels. I met amazing people- including one or two I knew from the comments section in this Blog and the Bebo page- and generally felt good the entire time. And then I came home, and was happy.

For the next tour, in September, I think the plan is to tour the NORTH of England, and hopefully Scotland. I’ll also be in Germany for a few days, and of course do a tour of Ireland. What all this means, of course, is that now I have five or six months completely free, to write something new...

Well, ALMOST completely free. I still have to finish Book Five. It was going to be called Mortal Coil, but apparently nobody knows what that means, so I’ve just been told I’m going to have to come up with a brand new title. Yay. I love coming up with titles. Just love it. I realise none of you actually know what happens in the next book, but I can tell you that there’s intrigue and a scary new assassin and some disturbing repercussions concerning Valkyrie’s revelation at the end of Dark Days. So if you guys have any good titles, feel free to let me know, and I shall steal them from you and they shall make me millions and my laughter shall echo hollowly in my golden mansion of gold.

Failing that, I’ll just have to come up with a title myself. Sigh.

Oh, and I swear, the photos from the tour WILL be posted, as soon as I find that little connecting lead thing that hooks the camera up to the computer. Then you shall marvel at my photo taking ability. Or possibly not.

I go now.

Oh, and by the way... 66 comments for my last post? SIXTY-SIX?? Are you people INSANE? Everyone at my publishers is stunned at the sheer amount of comments this Blog gets, because no one has seen this kind of volume before.

You KNOW what this does to me! You KNOW you are torturing me, and yet you persist! You are sick, evil people, and if this kind of behaviour continues, I shall hunt you down, each one of you, wait until you’re alone, and attack you with a dry sponge.

You have been warned.


Anonymous said...

You don't know how grateful the US would be if you sacrificed Justin Beiber to the Volcano Gods... >:3

Also, I happen to enjoy dry sponges almost as I enjoy crusty spoons. :)

William John said...

Please, catch Beiber, burn him, now!

But also on a slightly more serious note, not sponges, especially dry ones, NOES!

Unknown said...

Please kill Beiber that guy ... sorry that baby does my head in if the volcano gods don't kill him I will.
I'd like to see you try kill me with a dry sponge.
how about BAD DECISIONS = BAD FUTURE as a title

Lillian Faye said...

Well Mr. Landy, maybe if you didn't take so long to post another comment then you wouldn't get so many comments on your blog. Because we people comment on here because we get bored, and with no new post to read, we decide to annoy you and post. Well thats what I tell them to do when we meet for our weekly 'Lets Annoy Landy Because We Love Him' club. So I suggest you post blogs more offten.

Also I think Jedward are funny too, and increasingly funny that you wished to sacrafice them to the Volcano God. You do make me laugh.

As for your book title why don't you use 'Disturbing Repercussions' as I thought that was quite clever in itself. Or something more siple like 'Shadow Theif' or something. However I do quite like 'Mortal Coil' but good look with thinking of a new title.

Lastly I wish you well and hope you don't get killed by an evil sorcerer as that would proberly be bad for you publicity.

Farwell till next posst


Waffles said...

PLEASE!PLEASE!PLEASE kill the Beiber kid!I cam NOT stand him any longer!Everyday I have to listen to the girls in my school singing his songs!Every.Single.Day.
Personally I wouldn't be too bothered if you threw Jedward into the volcano but whatever.

Mortal Coil?Hmm....... interesting.Can you give us any idea about what's gonna happen in the next one?PLEASE!

On your Ireland tour you HAVE to come to Sligo!My mom wont let me come to Dublin to meet you.

Please do read this oh great Mr.Landy

An ever loving fan Waffles.

My grandpa thinks you're amazing for mentioning Arizona in Dark Days.He's making me type that.

Paha Täti said...

Congratulations Uncle-Gordon!

I think you should have sacrificed Justin Beiber.. My brains are melting every time I hear him in the radio..

Have you considered making a tour in Northern Europe or more specifically in Finland? I want your signature in my books!

Bethany said...

I do love daveyboyz. If you were truly thinking of sacrificing Justin Bieber to the Volano god then you should click that link. Vulcan would have laughed.

So... please explain why you didn't come to Belfast? I was most annoyed when I didn't see us listed on your tour. Most annoyed indeed.

Gah! Stupid people. Mortal Coil was a very good title and I think you should use it anyway. Forget about the people who don't know what it means. You should treat the people who do!

You only live once. Twelve years? You can do lots in that time. You'll be sweet.

Ebony Orvil said...

Yes I too dislike beiber.... killing me! Really he is like the only person people/girls are capable of talking about! I would like to know when we are going to get the results of the competition. (You know.... the one for the character.... remember?)

I think that you should write blogs more often. It's very annoying waiting for you to post a blog. Oh, by the way I think you should call the next book "good guys and bad guys".

from ode

Skyril A.K.A the Vociferous Chatterer, Loyal Forever and Always, The Ever-Present, the Pluviophile said...

Charlie Lamia lol yeah that's what I did too all of my pokemon are randomly name whatever comes to mind at the time or maybe something that sorta describes them in the data added to the pokedex.

And Joe...what toy bear??It's been a while since I watched it xD and I don't remember a bear...did you watch the subbed or dubbed?Cuz I watched the subbed so maybe that's it?Oh and I've heard of royksopp, but I don't think I've listened to them...

Oh yes Insanity Moonshine and a dragon that shoots octopi as well...Don't ask me how it started shooting octopi...but it did and I'll send it after you if you don't come to the southern part of the US.Plus if you don't come you won't get cheese from me!Isn't that an awful thought?

Believe us Mr.Landy Lynith was speaking the truth you post new entry = many fewer comments.So you keep that in mind ^.^.

Congratulations Mr.Landy ^.^ about your niece.I know it's kind of a bad omen but look at the bright side- you'll have an awesome niece for 12 years ;).

How about something like Assassins and Repercussions as a title or if you want something else possiblyyyy...Hmm how about Uh-oh ANOTHER assassin!...if you don't like those I'll keep thinking about it and see if I can come up with an article more satisfactory to you oh might ninja leprechaun master sir.

I would update you or that it the ghastly that's now a haunter I named after you, but since you didn't reply to ANY of the millions of questions I've asked I think I'll leave you wondering on how you're doing...

Till whenever I wish to comment again ^.^


P.S. I'll try to keep it shorter in the future...

Anonymous said...

What about 'World of Lies' or 'Death Calling' for a title? Mortal Coil is better, though. Oh, and my friend and I love your books :) PLEASE COME TO OXFORD ON YOUR NEXT TOUR!!! Otherwise my friend (who has relatives in Ireland and is half Irish) and I (who is a quarter Irish) will get VERY angry!
You have been warned!

Ayries said...

Awww, I liked Mortal Coil. I'm really sad that's changing, actually. Maybe 'shuffling off' as a reference instead. No? OK...

Anonymous said...

How bout you come to u.s, or like Utah? That would be beyond awesome and make many many many of your minions happy. Oh, and for the title, how about 'scary new assasine' or following the revelation'? I know, my wisdom awes you, but seriously I wouldn't advise going up against my ninja (minion) skills with only a dry sponge for protection.

Unknown said...

how about "raining darquesse" or "dark revelations"? also u can live longer if you find a skeleton detective and when she is twelve make him be ur bodygaurd? but if he sends a swords woman, make sure she dosnt awnser the phone

Lillian Faye said...

See Mr.Landy, Skyril agrees with me. Post more and we shall comment less.

It is quite an agreeable deal do you not think?? I do appoligise on behalf of the Munchkin Army but we must have word of our leader and master. It is only fair see?


Making the Legend said...

I must say that although i have no clue what 'Mortal Coil' means, nor does my mom, I think it sounds cool B)

Maybe on your way back from Utah, you could stop by Texas (Houston specifically). I know... 2 other kids at my school who are hypnotized by your amazing ability to write and would love to meet you.

Knock on Wood!!!!!! You totally just jinxed yourself when you predicted you were going to get murdered in 12 years.... I have reached the conclution that dying is not fun.

Killing Justin Beiber would be fine with me. When my school played it on the intercom a few days ago, i was struck by how high and annoying his voice is. (hes 15 and yes, sings like and 8 yr. old.) Two reasons just to kill him even though the volcano has sorta died down:
a)Kill him before he goes through the misery of not having a career once he hits puberty
b)I would like to see the expressions on the faces of the girls at my school when they hear he is gone. forever.

Vikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vikki said...

Well, Derek Landy, you are more that welcome to track me down 'cause I have these books I'd like you to sign. Sadly I don't think you've toured where I live (SE England). Incidentally, I know what mortal coil means so I'm feeling pretty smug now.

Anonymous said...

you let a volcano slow you down....(*tisk tisk*)

Nocturnal Flying Mammal Man said...

You have a new niece! Congrats!! :D

Sacrifice Justin Beiber to the volcano gods anyway to make sure that nothing of this sort shall ever happen again. *wicked grin* You should have considered him as number one from the beginning, because at least by killing him, unlike with Jedward, you'd be doing humanity a huge favor in sacrificing him.
Ah, I am truly twisted...Oh well, it's probably too late to do anything about it anyway.

Have fun signing 10,000 pieces of paper? I'm sure your hand was exhausted even with the time you must spend writing.

Too bad no one got the "Mortal Coils" title, it sounded interesting. (Honestly, I don't get it either...)I know you just love making up titles! (Hooray for the amazing power of sarcasm!) Honestly, I can't think of anything. At World's End? (Or something like that?) I don't know the plot... (Or if this is an appropriate title...) But I gave it a shot.

You'd better post those photos soon or I will decapitate you with a spoon!

Oh. Uh-oh. Eh, Houston...*whisper* He figured it out!

Hmm? Oh, nothing, nothing.

It'll be your dry sponge against my teaspoon. Let's see who wins. FIGHT!

Have fun trying to track me down. :P

Robyn said...

Congratulations! That’s a lot of new birthdays to remember. How good are you with dates? Hahaha. I hope none of your nieces turn out like Carol and Crystal. Don’t Jinx them you meanie =P (and don’t Jinx yourself either! We need you to write more stories for us.)

‘Mortal Coil’ makes me think of Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Hope you think of (or steal) another title everyone will understand. Doubt I will think of anything plausible but will let you know if a miracle occurs.

Lillian Faye said...

Robyn, that's because it is a Shakkespears Hamlet Quote! Thats just helped me remember what it means now, thanks! It's like 'the troubles of daily life' or something along the lines of that. It's to do with burdens, nice thoguht Mr. Landy I like it. Though no wonder no-one knows what it means, I'm not sure a lot of people have read or seen Hamlet, I only know because my Uncle is a Shakspearaholic!

So good luck if you still need to think of a new title!

Also I just had a thought, if in the prophecy you have become Gordon, doesn't that also mean that your stories are based on real events? Lol I like thinking I'm clever like that.

Monique said...

They say that Justin Beiber's career will end when his voice breaks but he would make a delightful sacrifice. Sophie, it's ironic that starts with an S as well as Stephanie. Beware of the man with the red hand! I must say, I thought Justin Beiber was 12 when I saw him on tv and then I went to find out that he was 15. Scary.
I LOVE titles when it comes to my poems and stories...they just come to your mind after losts of banging and screaming and crying...
I wish you luck with it and hope you get to miss out on the screaming and banging and crying.
From your munchkin soldier,

Scapegoat Arkane said...

=O Not Mortal Coil? But I immensely enjoyed that title! Ohwell. What a shame.

It's good to know that my hero also dislikes the Beiber child. I agree that a boy of his age should not be singing of his true love. He should at least wait till he's 20 so he'll have some experience with the matter. Tsk, tsk, Beiber Child. Tsk, tsk.

Also! I know who this scary new assassin is! I have his card! And I asked you about him in New Zealand! In Auckland! His name is the Tesseract! Myarhar!

And now, without further ado, I bid you farewell.

Anonymous said...

What do they mean, no one knows what "mortal coil" means? Practically everyone knows what that means -- yes, including children! Why is it so many adults think children are absolutely ignorant? (Because the adults are? Because children aren't people yet?)

Besides, if people *don't* know what "mortal coil" means, it's about time they learn -- before they, like so many before, shuffle it. (I would go on to quote Shakespeare in some clever way, were I not full in the knowledge that that would make me look pretentious, for, as everyone knows, quoting Shakespeare is a sure sign of academic pretention in the face of true ignorance.) Of course, Shakespeare isn't the only place where mortal coil is used. There's also Monty Python . . .

But in any case, Mortal Coil is a fabulous title. It's dramatic, clever, reminds the reader of other places in which the term was used, helps the term achieve more circulation (although, really, it's quite circulated), and gives the title a sort of sneaky, slithering feel -- like the title is snake-like and will twist around you, squeezing, wrapping you in, drawing you close, until it devours you and you can't help but buy the book and devour it instead . . .

Consider, is it kind to readers to throw out a fabulous title because a tiny proportion of the population may be confused by it? Shall we reinforce ignorance by disallowing the opportunity to learn? How does this further the accrual of knowledge? How does this improve minds?

Yet you ask for other titles, and I know you have little say in the matter, and that, even if I'm not preaching to the choir, my exhortation may fall flat. So I shall wrack my mind. "Chaos Theory" sounds drab and adult (and so many adult things are drab). "Revelations" might work, many meanings as it may convey, but it's awfully vague . . . totally unlike "Dark Days," which is tremendously specific. "That's Life" is awfully chipper . . . okay, hyperactive, and needs an exclamation mark at the end. "The Increasing Dead" sounds like a zombie book written by a mathematician. (Heh, as does "Lowest Common Denominator." But that's possibly even less well known that "Mortal Coil," and not nearly as clever. "Everyone Dies." "Tasting Death Many Times" -- or just "Tasting Death." That sounds a bit zombie also. Hmm. "Perchance to Dream" is Shakespearian again, but may have nothing to do with the book. "A Sea of Troubles," certainly would work, especially if the sea features at all in the book. But then, I'm terribly fond of puns. (As in, my fondness of puns inspires terror because it's terrible.) "Acid Test" may inspire the wrong impression. "At Full Tilt" is rather blah. "Blind-sided." "Thicker than Water." "Close Call." (I'm clutching at straws now.) "Dead Air." "Dead Men's Shoes." "Casting Dice." "Fire in the Hole." "Full Swing" or "Full Throttle." "Ghost of a Chance" -- if you have spirits of any kind. Er, except maybe the alcoholic sort. "Last Laugh" may be a bit too cheery, as indeed "Mind over Matter." Rather lacks drama. "Rack and Ruin." "Rising From Ashes." "Safe Bet." "Small Fry." "Turning Tables." "Truth Will Out." "Under Fire." "Vale of Tears." "Vicious Circle" -- actually quite good, if relevant to the book. "Walking on Eggshells." "Pick Your Poison." "White Lies." "Magic Will Out."

In any case, as you can see by this motley selection of titles of dubious worth, you should stick with what you have. Because it's superb. Thus, in truly awful (inspiring awe) experimental form, I have proven it to be so.

-HB/Joe- said...

Wow, *FINALLY* u have decided to post something else for us to all feast on like the half-demented-Derek's-blog-eating-zombies that we really and truly are. LOL i'm only 13 yet already i'm an uncle, and my niece and nephew are the beeeeessstttt!!!! High-fives all round (*secretly high-fives nephew in background*) !!!

On a more fatal note....

I, ur Acting Commander in the new Munchin Army Attack Force (MAAF) , will selflessly go back in time and sacrifice myself to the volcano gods!!! As I do, i will simeltaneously destroy the one ring (*cough cough*, sorry, Lord of the rings-aholic) and take Justin Bieber down to the fiery depths below! (due to popular demand)

And then, once my remains have burned and i am one with the fiery flames of MT. DOOM (or wotever the volcano was...) , the ash will return to the volcano, clearing the skies for ur glorious tour around AUSTRALIA!!! Of course, i would probably need finbar to find Justin, or i could just use my finely trained ears to hear out his horrible, horrible music, and then i would need to somehow bring myself back from the dead, so that i could claim my prize from u (a small pat on the head and a signed *~BOOK 5~* will be all, thanks) and then i would need to find a time machine, and, oh, i dont know, possibly JETPACK??!!?!?! What, u really thought i would actually do this for u? Mhahahaaha, not even me, THE ACTING COMMANDER IN THE MAAF, could possibly pull somehting off like that...
Mabye though, just maybe, Insanity Moonshine could ride his dragon to the volcano and drop Justin in, and then possibly drop some other annoying teenager trying and failing to make a living in the singing industry.
wow i cant seriously remember the last time i watched cardcaptors, maybe im thinking of the bear in *~BLEACH~*. either way, i do remember the girl with the staff thingo, and thos cards n stuff.
i was just thinking (Skulduggery quote: Never a good sentence starter, those words) , and maybe u should call book 5 "Secrets" or something, or "Dark Secrets", "dirty Secrets", u know? On account of China's dirty secret about skulduggery.
anyway gtg, i've got camp stuff to do.
(for those who dont know wot this means, it means oKay, THaNX, Bye. KTHNXBAI)

Lillian Faye said...

Wow Mr.Landy, it seems like you have been given a lot of good names to choose from, so you don't have to think of one yourself, just borrow one from us lot. Of course if you do you the person the name is borrowed from should get a small mention somewhere in your book. You know like a thanks page!

It's depressing, it really is. Because everyone know what happens in 'Drak Days' but I have to wait seeing as 1. I isn't in paperback yet and the rest of my collection is so they have to be matchy. And 2. it is my birthday coming up in 2 weeks (14th of May if anyone is interested) so I might get it for a pressent. Stupid family!

Depressing it is Derek, huh.

Spikings said...

Title = Skulduggery Pleasant and the Philosopher's Stone. *thumbsup*
Can't wait to see you come to the North, I shall attempt to stalk you. Good day.

Red Right Hand said...

I have the PERFECT title. Ready? I don't think you are. Because the sheer velocity and thought put into this title will just blow you away, so here goes:
Skulduggery Pleasant Book 5 - the book that contains intrigue and a scary new assassin and some disturbing repercussions concerning Valkyrie’s revelation at the end of Dark Days.

There, you see? Pure gold. Even gold is not as pure gold as this (?)

But now, a serious moment: no-one knows what Mortal Coil is? Seriously? What has the world come to?
Good luck with book 5.

Anonymous said...

I agree to everything in this blog, even things it doesn't make sense to agree too. Also, I hope you have all the books finished before you die in 12 years. Perhaps if you do, I may cry at your funeral.

Ebony Orvil said...

I agree with Lynith and Skyril post more and you will get less comments

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda said...

My friend would be rather...upset if you had sacrificed Justin Beiber. I, however, wouldn't mind, as I have no idea who he actually is. I think you should still use 'Mortal Coil' as the title because it makes the book rather dramatic. Good luck hunting me down, if you can find me! =P

xxRockPrincessxx said...

Oooh, book title names! So many to chose from! By the time I've decided, you'd probably have been murdered by Serpine.

I am not gleefully laughing.

Neither am I organising a Yay-He's-Dead-Now-Lets-Party thing.

Congrats on the new niece! She sounds adorable, and the ears make her 10x cuter :) Maybe somehow she'll miraculously grow to 12 years in time for next years movie.

Three guesses for who she's gonna play. The first two don't count.

Mortal Coil? I'm sorry but I REALLY don't get that. All I think of when I hear that is a dark, sadistic springy thing. about 'Pursuing Darkness'? Hey, I think it's good I only thought of it now! STOP LAUGHING!

From Me.

P.S YOU LIKE JEDWARD? I admit they are amusing, but that is only judged from the bits I caught through my hands that covered my eyes. Pah, you have gone down 2 points on the Cool List.

I will make a Cool List!

P.P.S Justin Bieber is the spawn of the Devil. He is 16 years old and HIS VOICE HASN'T BROKEN YET!

Too bad the Volcano Gods had been already fed K$sha...I DID NOT PUSH HER! SHE FELL! *runs*

Dragona Pine said...

I want to see a movie made out of you're books if there is one going to be made tell me when its coming out plz and if there isnt then sign summat 2 make 1 cos itll be good and you're books are amazing and congrats on niece.
PLZ throw jedward into volcano cos there soooo anoyin and justin beiber smells and everyone sings hes songs and hes soooo anoying aswell
Hope you dnt get murdered by the way :)

Lillian Faye said...

I like xxRockPrincessxx's name... quite good if you are looking for that sort of thing. But how about 'Carried or Abandoned' or 'Strife and Suffering', 'the breech of a gun' Hmmm, your right maybe thats a bit depressing... How about 'Frozen Waves of Turmoil'?

I'm doing my best!! Don't make fun of mee!

P.S See Mr. Landy everyone agree's with me... and that is not because I am threatning them or bribing them in any shape or form. It is just that we wish to hear more from our Master, controler, God, and what ever these people claim you are to them.

Bye bye Mr. Landy, till my next post.

Skyril A.K.A the Vociferous Chatterer, Loyal Forever and Always, The Ever-Present, the Pluviophile said...

Wow you do have a multttudes of names from which to chose!I admire many of the names created by my fellow minions.Are you considering choosing one of them?
Oh by the way realityanalyst you are awesome.
thomasbecky I doubt unless the creator of the script for the movie was Mr.Landy himself 'twould be any good at all.I don't know if you have read Eragon or Percy Jackson and the Olympions but I have (no worries Mr.Landy your the best ^.^) and the movies were positvely pathetic compared to the books.So if a movie is created I don't know if I'll see it...I speculate that it all depends on the preview.
Ah and Amanda you are not alone I am also completely unware of whom Bieber is.
Emma Colson I'll send my dragon and I'm sure Insanity Moonshine won't mind sending hers as well once he has visited Texas.

So Mr.Landy over 35 comments over 2 days.How long are you willing to wait afore you put a new entry again?Hmm?


Your faithful munchkin


Billy the Hatter said...

Yeah, sorry about the ash-I mean, those Brits' ask for cash, and of course, we remove the letter that isn't included in our alpabet to give them something we have lots of.
Although, I think few would blame you if you sacrificed Justin Bieber to the volcano gods-and I'm not even sure who he is or what he does.
Also: Try to pronounce Eyjafjallajökull. Go on, I dare ya.

Unknown said...

@inferno joe- WHERE DID U EVER GET DE IDEA THAT I WAS A BOY!?!? (im only a TOMboy) and mr. landy, if you do come to texas (east pweas) i will send you two dragons for pets, but they may bite, but they do make dilisous food. this is justin bebeir (sorry u had to watch this) this is a parody :D enjoy!
also, i am currently organizeing a group on facebook (please jion facebooks munchkin army) and i shall get as many people as possible to print themunchkin army sign and post it EVERYWHERE in their town. your welcome.

Unknown said...

We love you, that's why we enjoy torturing you ^.<
Please do come over to South East Asia, specifically Malaysia. Got lots of delicious food over here. Better enjoy your last twelve years of life. Now you just need to find a real life skulduggery to complete your prophecy. Lolz

-HB/Joe- said...

Lolz, soz insanity moonshine (btw sick as name!), plus wot is this alll about with dragons and all? is it something in another post that i missed?
wot font size do u use in Skulduggery Pleasant? I am righting my own book, and i really need some guidlines by a truly ammmmamammamazzzzinnnnggg writer. wot program do u use? mircrosoft word? or something else?
also, i too am pretty freaked out by the masses of numbers that have read ur blog. i mean, seriously, i am truly shocked. happy, but still shocked. i do hope u dont die, btw. cos eion colfer is gud, but not DEREK LANDY gud.
lol i had a vision of me showing my grandchildren the skulduggery series, and them taking one look at it and then just returning to their virtual reality computer games. (it's in the future, see)
also had this vision about me just walking around a gas station, and then somehow (dont ask me, it was a VISION) the bentley pulls up and a tall man with glasses, a hat, a suit, and a scarf wrapped around his head walks into the shop to buy something. and there, sitting in the passenger seat, is Valkyrie Cain. I get up; how did they come to australia? WHY did they come to australia? it doesnt matter. i run to the bentley, she looks up and frowns. out of nowhere, a car slams into me, breaking my legs. Dusk gets out of the car, and in the ensuing battle, i crawl to the bently and drag myself inside the back seat. i lay there, groaning, until the battle ends and skulduggery+valkyrie get back in the car, starting up the engine. i groan, and they both look at me, realises my legs are broken, and then race of to a small building where kenspeckle has set up base. then, by sheer chance, i realise that there isnt derek landy anymore, no-one in the world has ever heard of him, and he doesnt exist. i am the only one with the futures of skulduggery and valkyrie, tucked away into my schoolbag (i somehow mananged to bring it with me) in the form of teh whole set of books, minus the name *derek landy* on the cover and so on. then, i become a major part in the series, live out my dream, and learn magic.
*breath in*
*breath out*
back to real life, even when im riding a bus, i imagine seeing skulduggery and valkyrie running on the sidewalk, hot in pursuit of sanguine. wow, i sure am skul-crazy...

Unknown said...

@inferon joe-yes, i thinku missed a post from de llast blog. anyone want a pet dragon? they can mkae cupcakes

Lillian Faye said...

Haha omg cool ass vision thing Joe, wish I had stuff like that. I just daydream about my boyfriend or what I am going to do at the weekend lol. Either that or I just imagine about the set plot and I am one of the characters. And don't worry Joe, I missed it too. So I went back and re-read all of the comments. Because I'm sad like that. Lastly, how could u think Insanity was a guy?!?! Surley it is obvious that kind of wit and coolness comes from a girl. It is simple!

Also I agree, name insanity, I would quite like a dragon :D I love me some cupcakes. Also I appoligise on behalf of Joe for being soo guy-ish. people these days huh!

And Skyril we rock do we not. We will keep on posting on this blog because that is our job. Mr. Landy you really must just agree to our cause and write more blog posts.

Unknown said...

I finally found the blog! Epic fail on my part for not managing to find it earlier. I fear the Volcan-gods require more amusement if you're to fly to Germany though - they've started rumbling again. Hope you manage to come up with an awesome title, and congrats on being an uncle again!

Holly said...

Why did you have to hold the times of your tours in the South of Egnland straight after schools close? Y'know, that's fine for those who live within, say- 5 seconds of the nearest bookstore- but I lived 30 miles away. The legal guardians (I'm loath to call them that happy word, 'parents' after this) refused.
I'd been going on about this all month!
Finally, a book tour not only in my godforsaken county..
But within driving distance!
I missed it.
And I bet your publishers have crossed off my neighbouring counties and I off, assuming that you had travelled the breadth of the (South) land and that surely, every last Landy fan had crawled out of the woodwork. Never again will I have this chance.
Give me a moment to weep.

Stephanie Darrall said...

So someone is no longer shoving off the Mortal Coil eh? lol :D

Shame you couldn't catch Jedward. Whomever they are. :/

And I completely agree with Holly, but I think I was about 107 miles away. Please come to the South EAST please. :)

Mrblah3 said...

Omg Mortal Coil! That's the second time i've heard an irish author use that sortave phrase. Although in is book it was a direct phraseXD "When I shuffle off this Mortle Coil".
Hmmmmm im guessing the next book will have alot to do with necromancers? Or maybe a main character dies:O
Or Lord Vile? I'd love to see him in the books. Or maybe her. It's called Lord, but who could know under all that Armour.
Oh btw im going to review dark days on my blog. BWHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Shamless advertising)
I am tymcon at livejournal

Victoria Strange said...

Ha ha , Indeed. The 5th book is a tricky one to name as the other book names are very intriguing. How about "Mournful Threats" or "insert scary book title here "... Hmm not so great. “Painful Surprises “?? or " Unwanted Acceptance "

Skyril A.K.A the Vociferous Chatterer, Loyal Forever and Always, The Ever-Present, the Pluviophile said...

Yeah I also thought you were female Insanity Moonshine with all that coolness!^.^
Furthermore Joe I agree with.....
Hold on my kittens are meowing I have to go play with them.....
Ok sorry...where was I?...Ah yes Joe I agree with Lynith -Rather epic vision :D
And yes, indeed we do rock ;) and 'tis our job.So we shall continuously post 'till Mr.Landy has agreed upon our terms.
Oh and Joe you probably did miss a comment, but there were also dragons from me because they are awesome...
By the way Katherine you may wish to sign up with because when something happens you get an e-mail from Mr.Landy himself letting you know.I do believe that is how most of us discovered it.
Holly I shall weep with you...T_T

So 'till next time

Skyril ^.^

Unknown said...

thank u so much Lynith! i do agree that my name is ful of awsomeness, and joe AWSOME VISON! i keep ave this one where i see val nd sanguine fighting, or him poping out of the ground nd attacking me, probley cause i live in texas...

Skyril A.K.A the Vociferous Chatterer, Loyal Forever and Always, The Ever-Present, the Pluviophile said...

Wow that's some creepy vision!
Sanguine is some scary southern...


legi0nn said...

I cannot stand Justin Beiber, even if he is Canadian, which is truly awful to admit since I am also Canadian... I just cannot stand that girl--I mean, boy.

Yay! Congratulations, you're an uncle :)

P.S. You deserve a box of stray kittens for being so awesome, maybe even a pack of Skittles, I don't know.

Unknown said...

How about MORTAL KOMBAAAT!! Badap-badap-badap-badap-badada,Badap-badap-badap-badap-badada, MORTAL KOMBAAAT!!!
Not really. That would be silly. Hmm, how 'bout "Shadows and fire" ?

Anonymous said...

Just posting to remind you to come to West-Germany, preferably Nordrhein-Westfahlen. You know, Berlin is terribly overrated, there's really nothing to see there. Don't let the fact that it's the capital confuse you!
Duesseldorf on the other hand is fantastic! Did you know it has the largest concentration of Japanese people in all of Germany? You can get fabulous Ramen and Sushi. You'd really miss out on a lot if you didn't go there.

Lillian Faye said...

Haha yes, that is the plan. We shall stick with it. We have allready posted 50+ posts and it has only been a few days. Mr. Landy shall crack - Yes Derek we are talking about you not at you, deal with it- we shall get more blog posts.
Derek we are not asking for much are we? A post a week maybe, not once every month. It is rather easy the way I see it.

Insanity, you are most welcome. I think we have all agreed that your name is full of extreme coolness, I think Derek would also agree isn't that so Mr. Landy?

Joe, we have also agreed that you have rather epic visions, and now so do you Insanity! Envy muchly?!

We do have skulduggery on the brain don't we haha. Derek is the paperback version of book four coming out soon (In the UK of course)?? I do hope it comes out soon so someone can purchase it for my birthday. It is annoying not being able to read it. My brother also wished to get the book and keeps berating me to just buy the hardback one (but you see that wouldn't be very good as it would ruin my collection haha).


Ebony Orvil said...

Ok I am sure you have read or heard of Harry Potter and the success it became. Comparing Harry Potter to Skulduggery Pleasant I would say that Skulduggery Pleasant comes first. Are you happy that your book is the new most successful book ever?

My friends are big Skulduggery Pleasant fans too but one of them hasn't read book 4 yet.... well, is reading it now. Anyway I want these 2 friends to join (I will ask them tomorrow) but one of them as I said isn't finished Skulduggery Pleasant yet and for his sake I would like you to promise that there are to be no spoilers on the blog.

I waited a long time to hear this. When are you touring it and what counties are you going to? I AM REALLY EXCITED SO YOU BETTER NOT LET ME DOWN BY TOURING SOMETIME WHEN I AM GONE OR SOMEWHERE REALLY FAR AWAY FROM MY COUNTY!

Now (you got this for everyone already) I would like to point out to you that we have barely started May and you have more that 50 comments. What are you going to do? I have the perfect solution.... write blogs weekly. If you wait until June to post something it will be likely that there will be 100 comments to read. We are torturing you until you start posting more.

Ebony Orvil said...

oh I forgot to say that it is really nice to know that my hero hates the devil/bieber and that he likes my mini hero/jedward (don't worry you are the best hero by far). Speaking of heroes I want to tell you that you are a cool hero because you actually read your comments.

Violet Night said...

Kill Beiber! It's kinda creepy that a 8 year old boy is singing about love! I mean where is he getting this stuff? How about Dark paths for a title? It shows Valkyrie's descent into Darquesse! Jedward suck! No wonder the rest of the EU...ahem...i mean the rest of the World think we're drunk, demented Leprechauns. You know there is actually a National Leprechaun museum in Dublin! What's next the Corporation for Unicorn affairs!!!!!
Bring on the sponge!!!!!

Lillian Faye said...

Haha Mr. Landy! Another one of your followers joining with our scheme! Clearly it is not just a fluke. As I have already said, a post a week, and now Odile has back me up.

Point, set, match.


Lillian Faye said...

Anyway, you have to post a new blog post so you can wish me a happy 16th birthday on the fourteenth because your an amazing writer and you love your fans as we love you.

Skyril A.K.A the Vociferous Chatterer, Loyal Forever and Always, The Ever-Present, the Pluviophile said...

Yay another recruit Lynn ^.^ (If you don't mind me calling you that.You can call me Sky if you want.)
Anyway Odile I would suggest signing up with because when something of consequence takes place such as when this blog was created, or where it is he is touring Mr.Landy sends an e-mail to all of his munchkins letting us know. ;-]

So ta-ta for now

Skyril ^.^

Unknown said...

also great derek, like lynith i would like a special birthday wish on the 23 of may or i with post 40 comments on EVERY BLOG (no, i am being trueful, and i am not lying) and some other stuff. and we need you to post AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK!

Skyril A.K.A the Vociferous Chatterer, Loyal Forever and Always, The Ever-Present, the Pluviophile said...

I thought I better post once more today because I probably won't be getting on for the next few days because I'm departing to South Carolina to pick up my brother from college.Starting Friday and tomorrow I'm will be quite busy getting prepared.
So Mr.Landy your eyes will not see a post from me for a few days.You best be joyful for that fact ^.^.


Until Next time,


Unknown said...

Oh no, the dry sponge! Don't do that! I hate the scent of garlic! Ahh!

For your title troubles, I have come up with a few substitutes that you will find most ingenius!
~Dire Spiral
~Leathel Twine
~Unrelenting Snake
~Grim Twirl
~Grave Loop
~Deadly Circle
~Worldly Scroll
~Bitter Twist
~Terminal Wreath

Note that the titles can be mixed and matched to suit your taste. Personally, I think you should call it Mortal Coil, but hey, I can't stop you from listening to your publisher!

And will you be calling Sophie "Valkyrie"? Because she will hate you for it. And she will think you are stupid if you call her Stephanie. I know it all seems very coincidental, but don't make them hate your books because you keep relating it to their lives!

Or they might love that you wrote a story about them I don't know.

Happy Birthday

I don't know when it is, but one day, I could get luck and say it on the right day. But this is in advance... or belated... one or the other

Anonymous said...

Nah; I think you've got the wrong end of the stick. If real life echoes fantasy, so must the names. If Gorden Edgley is Derek Landy and Stephanie is Sophie, then it follows that when Sophie gets involved with magic her name will have to change to, say, Victory Trouble. Or Odinette Abel. Skulduggery Pleasant will be Feint Nice or Shenanegan Amiable or Sophistry Sweet or Chicanery Dandy. China Sorrows will be Korea Distress or Russia Dolor. Billy-Ray Sanguine will be Willy-Beam Buoyant or Johnny-Shine Ruddy.

You get the drift. So it's no good looking out for a Skulduggery Pleasant, because he'll be a turkey of a different name.

Ebony Orvil said...

I DID sign up but I still have no email!!!
I am glad to be part of the "torture Landy till he posts more club". Since I didn't get an email can anybody tell me when he is touring Ireland?

Landy more and more people are going to join the "torture Landy till he posts more club" so I suggest you act now. What is one dry sponge against hundreds of them? POST NOW BEFORE YOU GET TORTURED TO MUCH! (because as much as I torture you, you are still my hero so I don't want to torture you too much. Do you get me? No? Nevermind.) Also poor Skyril won't be able to read you next blog if you don't post soon. Start posting weekly (daily is fine with me but I need you to write the book during your free time so maybe not).


there is no point in telling you because my name is up top.

Unknown said...

congrats on the new niece! not that i know any of your any other nieces but well done nevertheless. just one inny bitty little question; WHY DIDNT YOU SACRIFISE JUSTING BIEBER???!!! ARE YOU INSANE??? he annoyes the heck out of me! and not to mention all the people on my school bus play him over and over...and over AGAIN. i love commenting on your blogs because i am very very very very evil person who has no regard for your pain! mwhahahahahahahahahaahahhahah!!! by the way i dont really mind the dry sponge and good luck finding out where i live so you can beat me up with it, thats not actually a very scary threat (sorry to burst your bubble), and also i have no intresting tittles that you can steal and claim as your own so your going to have to do it yourself, poor you. byee byee for now, until next time!! ps that will be very soon. mwhaha!!!

Lillian Faye said...

Haha no problem Sky ;) Go ahead and call me Lynn, It's what I put on the end of the comments (which I SHALL keep creating untill a certain someone decides he had better post more- Yes that's YOU Derek Landy, you know you love the attention). Also I do hope you have fun and I will wish your posts for the few days that you are unavailable!

Ta-ta Mr. Landy.

Also oldie, there are very few emails like the very few posts. I see a pattern do you?

Happy Birthday in advance Insanity (just in case I forget or cannot get online to wish it you)!!

Ebony Orvil said...

67 comments and rising....

Ebony Orvil said...

by the way lynith i am not oldie (that makes me sound old) but I forgive you (everyone spells it wrong) and YES I DO SEE A PATTERN! Happy Birthday to people (there are so many i just can't remember)

Ebony Orvil said...

Oh! Can I call you Lynn too? (Its easier.)

hollies said...

destroy bieber with a sponge on fire
its even more dry then a dry sponge

if ur upset by 66 ull be really upset now

when r u torin ireland cause i want u to sign my books 'jumps as high as humanly possible in antisapation'

Skulduggery Skellington said...

Good job with the fire gods Landy, but I would have enjoyed seeing Beiber gone. Ah, well...
Anyways, you should love people following you around! You should say: "I like having someone follow me around like a little puppy. It makes me feel good about myself." =]

well as soon as you get the chance stop by the USA okay? we love you here too!!!!!!

Unknown said...

lynn happy b-day in advance to, since i am very absent minded. yes derek, untill u post a blog aleast once a week, the # of comments will get biiger and bigger, until there isnt enonhge cupcakes to hold them all, and all the waffels will explode.

-HB/Joe- said...

ahahah realityanylyst, thats funny how u've just used a thesauraus. gr8 names.
ah, ive just returned from a camp, gone ctrl-f, and searched my name. practically ten different matches came up, so im happy to know ur still talking to me:D
wow i wasnt being sexist or anything, i just havent read the previous blogs. sorry, insantiy.
LOL cheers insanity, lynith, and sky. btw, sanguine would probably be the person to most likely appear somewhere around the world. wot with his special powers and all, and with the fact that skul+tanith+ghast+valk+bliss+china all being wrapped in the awesomeness of ireland. damn, i wish i was irish.
so u better keep ur eyes peeled for any southerners with dark glasses and walking the streets around ur house...
my daydreams were even more powerful on the camp, as i was in the middle of no-where, and walking around at night was just exploding with skulduggery-ness.
i am with u all in the fight against/with derek!!! he must post new blogs every week, whether his cat has just had an ear infection, or he has a spoiler for teh release date of a new skuldug movie.
speeking about movies...
it would be sick if they made a movie! but would irish people play the parts? because, no-offense, but everytime someone says "ireland" at my school, everyone else answers "Its a Water Horse" with thick, heavy irish accents. not that i hate irlend, because i stated earlier that i want to be irish.
hey, i was thinking about the title, and a sentence from the new Dark Days book entered my mind.

~~~~*****MINOR BOOK 4 "DARK DAYS" SPOILER****~~~~


"Valkyrie walked in, shadows writhing around her right hand, flames curling in her left."

woah, that is the best damn sentence i have ever read...
anyway, derek, u could do something like "Shadow and Flame" or "ShadowFlame"
anyway, gtg, really tired. cant wait for da nxt book, with china's secret and all.

Unknown said...


Unknown said...

sorry, i kinda over did it with the last one,

Unknown said...

oh also i'd love it if it would be possible to have some kind of tortue like serpines red hand or the whiter cleaver grinding him into little pieces maybe, or what happens in the forth book to tanith with mr kenspeckle(don't want any spoilers) to be arranged for justin bieber, please!

Unknown said...

hey if there is a movie, the song played at the end credits should be "its the end of the wotrld as we know it,and i feel fine"

Ebony Orvil said...


Rachel McCoach said...

You should probably get justin beiber-he buggs me.

I have a suggestion name for book five: Destiny Calls.
It aont the best but it could work. Anyway hope u find a title u like although mortal coils is pretty good.

Hope all goes well with the awesomeness that is skulduggery pleasant!
From Rachel McCoach

ps maybe u could come to scotland in yournext book tour. Who knows, u could end up seein the loch ness monster and gettin some cool insperation for your "something new". :D

Lillian Faye said...

Haha sorry Odile, I was wandering when u would notice. I just thought it was funny to keep saying oldie :P And of course you can call me Lynn lol, but I may call u Odd-ball, Oldie or Oddie occasionly ;) Haha, jokes!

Thanks Insanity, and dito. When I had catering in school and we were cooking (last period) I left my school bag at school... Woops, luckily I got my brother to run back and get it haha.

Your very welcome Joeyy boy, I am here to compliment (and annoy Derek unntil he posts weekly of course). Haha and very good point, I will remember that.

Omg Insanity that is such a good idea!! That song is like, made for that exact reason! Wow. I think a film would be a very good idea. Though it would only work if you got the right characters. Johnny Depp woulkd probably be good as Skulldugery, Maybe Talulah Riley, Alexa Vega or Taylor Dooley as Valkyire... Umm, I would quite like Orlando Bloom to be in it too but I dono't know who he would play... And so on, so on!


Koby said...

Hey Derek ... seriously , man an inspiration :) ... Problem arose though , you see I wrote out this big long comment about everything and then the Wi-Fi stopped working so i am going to have to try and summarise... ( I think I spelled that wrong :L)
Anyway , I was thinking why don't you go dry-sponge Greasy Bieber, while the volcano plume is only 10 times bigger than Ireland and still south-westerly of us... Why don't you include Jedward in your next book, now that would be gas !!!
How about including something in relation to Valkyrie's "love-life" in the next title or how about "New Death" ??? Seeming as in most books there happens to be a lot of violence and death :P.
That's great news about your nieces :)

Don't forget to let me in on some of the royalties, if I inspired you... Or even if I didn't :P

NO. 1 Irish Fan =]


Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Landy,

I am here to register a complaint.

Although your effort to appease the volcano gods worked insofar as they gave you a temporary reprieve so that you could tour the south of England, the discontinuation of your quest has angered them greatly. The ash has not only continued to spread, but further eruptions have worsened the problem.

Do you understand? Because you did not go through with your vow to sacrifice Jedward, you have doomed us all. Thousands could die. Millions could go without sunny days. Billions of euros/ dollars/ pounds could be lost. Worst of all, I could miss my transatlantic flight.

How could you do this to me?

And yet I feel that I cannot be too harsh with you. If I were to, say, murder you before your twelve years were up, I couldn’t read any more of your books. If I were to wait twelve years, I would doom my own quest and be forced to become a malevolent force. Moreover, I would have to forsake my own name for something melodramatic and foreboding. (Hmm. Maybe I’ll call myself . . . Reality Analyst. Nah. No one would credit that.)

So I cannot be too harsh with you. But I can send you this long, sinister stare over cyberspace. I can utter dire threats (“Clear airspace or eat blue cheese!” “Stop the volcano or watch The DiVinci Code over and over!” “Eradicate ash clouds or cough at an embarrassing time!”). I can even post yet another comment for the sole purpose of torturing you.

I’m not saying that I’m doing any of these things, I’m just warning you. And don’t forget: if I do fulfill my threat, it’ll be all your fault.

Well, yours and Jedward’s.

With all due cordiality,

Ten. Hang said...

Mr. Landy,

You shouldn't call us "sick and evil" if you want to stop receiving comments. I have already told you, Mr. Landy, most of your readers actually LIKE being called "evil, sick, disturbing, sadistic, wicked, cold-blooded" and the like. Use "good" adjectives and we might stop commenting.

...Of course, we're so evil we'd comment twice EVERY SINGLE TIME.

(*hums happily the song "When You're Evil"*)

Ahem. I may laugh at you now, as you had trouble with the volcano gods. My forsaken part of the world is so forsaken no natural disaster (other than rain) happens here. I wish you'd sacrifice that Bieber boy, though: I wonder how young girls like his girly voice.

Live long and prosper, I might learn evil magic just to keep you from writing good books.

Track me down now. I'm waiting for the sponge.


Lillian Faye said...

Haha poor you Reality!! Don't worry, I will dedicate some more precious time to post another comment to torture Mr. Landy on your behalf.

Enjoy Mr. Landy :)

Aisling said...

Hey Mr. Landy!

Loved your post! (It cheered me up in these dark days that call the junior. *sigh*)

I like it. ;)

Hmmm, but sacrificing Bieber would have been so much better. Can we throw sponges and shovels at him? I don't wanna kill him i just wanna see him cry. *mwhah-* *CHOKES* Damn karma.

I just completed Dark days And i loved it! One of your best so far. I'm expecting a better one in September! As for the Mortal Coil...... hmmm. Excuse me for saying this but i think it kinda sucks. Well it's not that it sucks it just sounds too weird. Maybe it's just 'cause i don't know enough but..... tis my opinion. Sorry. As for a new title, well i suck at them. You'd have to let me know a little more about the storyline before i could come up with one..... *nudge nudge, wink wink*

Lol, no hmmmm. (i say that a lot i know). Random suggestion. How about "What is to come"? 'Cause of you know val's situation. Crappy i know but ah well.

I'm so mad that i missed your signings in Dublin last month! This year has sucked away my life *sniff*. You better be back in September or i will find you myself and it won't be pretty. You should meet my friend. She makes awesome torture plans. XD (she's a huge fan of yours lol).

Okay, i think i am done. For now. I shall be back though.

Le Gra,
15, somewhere in ireland. ;)

P.S Congrats on becoming an uncle!!!

Becky Allaker said...

*God of Hellfire gets slightly camper until it reaches Jewardness* Who ya gonna call?! *silence* yeah, you know who, but if they're not avalable, call us!
*Me voice* Annnnnyway. Did you know Justin Beiber, the 8 year old one who can manage to pick up a bowling ball, HAS NOT herd of Germany? Oh the wonderful things you learn listening to Scott Mills show... Like New Zealanders like bread soaked IN Fanta and yes Richard Armitage does not.
Also, YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH ME LANDY, YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IS! For MY neice is also called Sophie, evil sprog of evil sprogness. Also, don't let no evil sorserers murder you, you're too awesome for that. Also you WILL come HERE on tour when Book Five comes out otherwise... Bali will jump of the White Cliffs of Dover, though it won't be the first time, she jumped off them last time I said I killed Fletcher. Also what about... New Beggining? Darker Things to Come... REVELATION! I have NO idea where that came from, but it sounds awesome. Mostly a'cause I said it. Yeah, you know it. Also who won the comp? When I find out I shall silently sit in my corner and plot against them in an evil manner. Also I'm in an also mood. Also *looks at random person* your beard's stupid! Also Remus will NEVER be as crazy as me. Never. Because I have pointlessly drawn Harmony as a Na'vi and were she real she wouldve killed me! She's boring like that... and overly obsessed with cars. ASTON'S, MEEP!

Harmony: ...Becky... do you have ANY kind of mental state?


Harmony: Really? Isn't it usually your imagination?

I have one? O.O Anyway *pushes her out of the way* It is clear that I have not been on my lap top in three days. This is clear because... because... because my deviantART inbox was full? That'll do.
If you read this WHOLE comment you so deserve a medal. I mean, I can really ramble. Like... a lot. I've run out of spontanious random things to say, however. And so I am forced to stop typing. I'm gonna go off and... Load that picture before I'm cyberly murdered by that Fletcherie nut! (You know who you are Bali, YOU KNOWWWWWWWW)


Agentwolf21 said...

I have an idea for a title haha, its : A Light In The Darquesse ( sorry if thats not spelt right, but as if anybody cares ) oh and also *pushes everyone out of the way not so gently* Next time you come to New Zealand please come to Dunedin, then my friend, then my life would be complete! =] Ily and uhh, yes well please do the people with ears a favor and give Justin Beiber to the Volcano Gods, I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate him singing " Baby baby baby OH! Baby baby baby NO! Baby baby baby NO! I thought you'd always be mine ooohhh! " ( i can write a better song than that! ) but you know I'm sure they are hungry for something to clear the heartburn.. hehe, ok now I am going.. no now i am... ok bye!

Anonymous said...

You should name the next book "Buying this book will make you 15% more awesome". Everyone will buy it in order to increase their awesomeness. And then after buying the book, if they don't feel more awesome, they totally can't prove it! It's a brilliant plan!

-HB/Joe- said...

well, i didnt quite say they were my friends, odile.btw, where is ur name from?
and lyn, do u really think johnny? im not sure.
maybe they will have skuldugery animated, but that would kinda suck.
who would play valkyrie? and wat about mai all-time fav,finbar wrong? who? WHO!!!!?!?!?!?!

-HB/Joe- said...

hey ashez2ashes, nice idea. great in fact. and the blurb will read: come one, come all! increase ur chance of becomming 15% AWESOME!!!
it so will work.

Unknown said...

2 things: 1. my name is Rebekah(just like ur evil neice, but spelled de ORIGINAL way) and 2. we should change irland to irlandY. or atleast call it here and everywhere else

Anonymous said...

There is, of course, one other possibility with the title "Mortal Coil." You could include after the title page a quote page with one or two quotes which make it absolutely and indubitably clear what "mortal coil" means. . . .

Ebony Orvil said...

I think Helena Bonham Carter would be a great person put in he movie (she is great for evil characters) maybe she could be murder Rose in the 3rd one. If there is going to be a movie please tell me that they will be seperate (by that I mean no 1st and 2nd book combined in one movie and like half of both books cut off to make it short enough).
Also I think maybe she MIGHT fit as Valkyrie (just an idea). Also inferno-joe odile is just a random made up name which people spell wrong. And all my friends are saying that jonny depp is going to play skulduggery pleasant but that mightn't be true. And on Wikapedia it said the movie isn't going to be animated so don't worry.

Well Landy the comments are coming VERY close to 100 now what is everyone at your publishers saying now?

Lillian Faye said...

Yes I do to be honest, I think he would manage to pull of the funny and wittyness- he did realy well for the Mad Hatter and Jack Sparrow didn't he? Jack Sparrow is sort of a pirate version of Skullduggery because of the wittyness...

As for Valkyrie well I already listed three posabilities... But I've just had a thought about Summer Glau because she played River in Serenity and she fulled off the whole fighting bit really well... Probably a good choice no? Or Jewel Staite, she was good too!!

Too many choices I think.

And Helena Bonham Carter is a definate must. Such a great idea. Love it. Though maybe not as an evil character. As China Sorrows maybe... She needs a more main part I think. Well thought Oldie :P

Making the Legend said...

rip out you dry sponges, I'm comment number 96 :)

I printed out the part of your blog where you were talking about Justin Beiber and some of the comments and brought it to school. I showed several people (all but one hated Justin Beiber) all the people that didnt have "Beiber Fever" (people who <3 Beiber) laughed really hard. Then the one girl I showed that LOVES Justin was horrified! You should have seen the look on her face! It was classic! :D <HAHAHA

I was wondering.... Im a writer my self and like to write about fighting and stuff. I like to... -icantbeliveimputtingthisontheweb- sort of act out some of the fights. I was wondering if you (or anyone else) did that... Or if im just different...

Please post more... I enjoy reading you blog and getting in a good mood :)

Anonymous said...


When writing hand-to-hand fight scenes, it is useful to have some kind of first-hand knowledge of fighting. Martial arts come in handy this way. Before I started aikido, I didn't really understand anything of what people were doing when they were putting holds and wrist locks (and so on) on people.

It's fascinating the number of writers who have some sort of martial arts experience -- and I believe Mr. Landy himself said he does kenpo karate. Training your body in this way can help you feel what it's like to fight in a real way without much danger of bodily harm.

What I'm saying here is that, in a way, many authors, even if they don't actually act out fighting, understand what fighting is and what its like, what is possible, what is plausible, and the various scenarios therein.

Not sure if that helps.

Unknown said...

I have some book name ideas soo here ya go
1. Deadly Dance
2. Fallen Worior
3. Killer Dreams

yep they are PANTS but i use stuff like that on my books and my palies luv em' still so. Yer anywho has anyone read dancing with darkness no. Damn. My fave of your chapters is Killer on the loose and i think u would like shards of crystal outa mine book but yer so o m g.
There so thanks for you
Faye Sedgwick

Priya said...

Congratulations on your new niece! Life really is imitating art. Or is it the other way around? Could your 'series' be the actual reality and we are the art? Moving on now...

Oh my goodness, please please sacrifice Beiber to the volcano! I am on my knees actually begging you. Right, now to read the rest of the blog. By the way, before I scroll back up (a ridiculous number of) around 98 comments, I have a question. Was Tanith's name taken from a real life author? Because I've recently, very recently, decided to read a load of books based in Venice. I did some research and there is an author called Tanith Lee! So, if you may shed some light on that, it would be wonderful. Now to actually read the rest of the blog. Before I get sidetracked again...

Right, read it! And may I just say, charming attitude with the dry sponge threats! Really, sir, you are an inspiration to threat makers everywhere. Yours are witty, laugh out loud (I refuse to say the letters of that phrase) funny and tend to leave those on the recieving end speechless.

Um, as to book titles. I confess, I had no idea what Mortal Coil refers to but apparently it's in Hamlet. So books titles... how about being reeeally unique and not giving it a title? That's never been done before! Until now.

I think that's about it for now. One more thing. To reiterate what others have said, blog more and we'll spam your comments less!
So, until we meet again, Mr. Landy, I bid thee adieu.


Lillian Faye said...

Oh yes, number One Hundred.

So Mr. Landy are you impressed with our handy work?

You were shacked by 60, and now look.

I think I have provided enough evidence that you should indeed write a post weekly. I know it is a portion of your valued time, but it only takes ten miniutes to post no? Twenty at the most!

Not much too ask is it?

Making the Legend said...

Might I remind you that on the entry titled "Another post, because (one of) you demanded it!" you said that you rather appretiated our comments!

realityanalyst: It's good to know that I'm noth the only one to so that. I dont feel so emberased any more! I am actually a black belt...

bye 4 now... until you post next *make it soon >:( *

Anonymous said... about this many comments? you must LOVE the attention =P

Unknown said...

i have a name! how about callingit "(insert iltel with somethin to do with daruesse here)" i now its kina long, but funy!

-HB/Joe- said...

hey lynith,

i'm not sure about jewel staite, because, frankly, in everything ive seen her in (firefly, sereity, stargate) she has always been teh frightened, "thats the best i can do for now" kind of person. im not sure how she would be as a full on valkyrie cain. hmmm.
as for summer, she does terrificly at the not quite human part, but we cant really enrole her only to play the reflection. im not sure that she could pull it off as a thirteen year old either...
gud news odile, im glad it wont be animation. that would purely suck. it would be like 90 minutes of watching some low-budget actor accidentally wave their hand through skul-man's face. ha ha...

im kinda worried now, that im a boy and about 70% of all the commentors are girls. maybe this book isn't for me? but no, deep down i know it is. like skulduggery was meant for valkyrie, I was made for this book.

Mr. Landy should start finding a giant mansion sitting above several evil and secret catacombs, crawling with evil monsters that feed off magic.

Good luck, Derek.

Also, u should invest in an echo stone, and then use it to talk to urself and have some quite interesting ideas for the knew skulduggery pleasant book. and also start looking for a secret door in the mansion, and look around for a thin person in a bar, and remember to politely vomite on his shoes.



"You can't beat me, Yank!" said Jack.
"Yank's are from the North," said Sanguine, picking himself up from the ground. "I'm a Southern boy."

-Skulduggery Pleasant: Playing with Fire
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Book 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-HB/Joe- said...

lol insantity, keyboard spasm. i tink tat the word ur looking for is "title" , not "iltel". and also, maybe the word "Darquesse" would work better than "daruesse".

-HB/Joe- said...

but ur idea got me thinking, insantiy. maybe something purely simple, like "Darquesse" and then at the bottom "Oh yes. She's coming."
yeah, or maybe some kool play on words, like "Playing with fire" .
mmm, yes....

-HB/Joe- said...

yeah, Helena Bonham Carter would play well as murder rose. Cackling away with her machine gun...
and just for the record, i have an actual friend who's name is Jack Sparrow (now howzat?). he was born before the idea was created, and he is an avid fan of starwars and so on. i guess that when i first heard u guys mentioning Johnny depp, i thought charlie and the chocolate factory, and then tried to match that up with skuldugery pleasant. it didnt work very well...
then i thought of his stunnign work in pirates of the carribian, and i instantly thought "God YES! We have found our Skulduggery Pleasant."
I HAVE OFFICIALY JOINED THE "ANNOY DEREK UNTIL HE POSTS MORE STUFF" CLUB, AND PLAN TO RISE IN THE RANKS UNTIL I AM SGT. JOE (this is my alterante internet name, including online gaming on team fortress 2 and cod4, and u are free to call me by this name whenever u want. just ask me for a promotion, and u might even make it to sgt. as well)

Sgt. JOe

-HB/Joe- said...

hahah im already annoying u, derek. just look at all these comments iv'e made. mwahahahha.....

Emmy said...

I must say, sacrificing Beiber to appease the Gods is one of the best ideas I`ve ever heard.
...I missed the NZ tour? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS?!
Mortal Coil actually seems like an extremely cool title. If nobody knows what it means, too bad.
Title ideas, title ideas... Black Horizon? Y'know, with all the impending doom, chaos, destruction, death, did I mention doom?

Unknown said...

hey, heey, hey, hey, you! hey, you. over there.
yeah you.

Burnsy (inferno joe another guy has pledged to the cause

Lillian Faye said...

Haha good going Joey boy, how many comments have you posted since my One hundreth (yes, the big number and I posted it, get thst Mr. Landy!)

Joe maybe you are right about Jewel but I still think she is a good acter, maybe as the mum or something like that? As for Johnny, I soo told you. Perfect Skulduggery if I do say so myself. I also think Summer would do well in the part because Valkyire isn't reaslly your normal everyday human is she? Not all of us can shoot fire from our hands! I know she does slightly-insane-and-not-quite-human weell, but she does also get the fighting aspect of things spot on. For example in Serenity when she is fitghting all of the reaver people... And she also manages to do that and seem innocent and weak at the same time. Well, my oppinion I think.

Derek I hope you appreciate us casting you movie for you, Im sure it would be a huge job and with our help it would become much easier and thefore create a more exciting prospect for making the movie in the first place.

Ambiguity said...

*Sigh* Dry sponges are weak. Seriously. weak. Dried apricots, now, THEY are deadly. I present to you....(insert catchy title here) Ha! beat that! (no, PLEASE beat it) If your gonna sacrifice any1 to the volcno gods it'd be me, I always wanted to be sacrificed by a famous author to gods of volcanoes....
Y'know if you complain about comments we'll comment, (several times even) just to annoy u.


Louisa Rose said...

Hey ^-^ i just wanted to say that i am your biggest fan. In the world. Ever.
I sence that you are sceptical of my devotion. weeeellll ..........
I have read your first book FOUR TIMES
I have read your second book FIVE TIMES
I have read your third book TWO TIMES (I know, I'm sorry, I slipped up here)
Aaaaaannnnd .... I nearly had a HEART ATTACK when the FOURTH BOOK arrived TWO days LATE !!!
Well, i think i have proven a point :)
I would like to thank you so very very much wise Mr Landy, for bringing Skulduggery PLeasant into my life, it has change the way i see books forever. O.0
Also, congratulations on the birth of your niece, she sounds adorable :D
Please never stop writing, the world needs your comic genius. As for the competition you launched in April, yes it very nearly melted my brain. o.0

Unknown said...

i got another! hw about "lenghtining shadows" nd joey boy, i was hyped up on suger when i typed it i had been partying and i had clamed two pinyata heads. i am going to mount them on my wall.

Unknown said...

hi its me again, just a little note to you mr. landy i think that instead of beating US up with DRY SPONGES we should do it to beiber or jedward, im not too fussy i hate them both!! PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY REGARD TO MY PAIN YOU WILL FIND SOME WAY TO HURT BEIBER!!! you have no idea how happy me and my sister will be if you sacrife him, please. make me happy! even tho if u do then i think my friends might have a bone to pick with you because they LOVE him (though how anybody can love him is truly beyond me, it really is). by the way, if you dont kill him by chucking him in a volcano then i WILL!! i just want him to be gone, do you realise the number of headahces i have because of baby? if i have to hear that song one more time i think i might kill myself in a very painful way, and then you will be SORRY. also can you give us some kind of hint as to whats going to happen in the next book? you are testing my non existant sanity here it is stretched to breaking point!! i cannot wait to find out who is gonna win for the create a character comp, because my character got shortlisted!! okay now im actually gonna make my fingers stop typing but i just cant. bad fingers, BAD STOP, I COMMAND YOU.

okay bye now, (stop fingers, please!) :)

Unknown said...

hello mr landy :D *he said trying not to sound giggley and stupid* how'a you?
can you publish the book sooner plzz or atleast show us the new cover or sumthin :) sorry...... haha.
Anyway.... i think you should come at us with dry sponges, they're tastey.....nom nom nom nom *dribble* anyway i have some names for your book :) :
through the ashes,
raining darkness,
bitter twist, (i know someone said it further up, but i thought you would think about it more, it if a few people suggested it :D)
anywaay where was i........ o yeah can you please sacrifice justin bieber to the volcano gods, he sounds like a girl :S it scares me :'( lool.(no offence to girls as you may be very good at singing, but it is not right for a boy to sing LIKE a girl)
hope your writing goes well, and as you love writing so much............... YOU SHOULD WRITE A BLOG MORE OFTEN :D hehe, once a week that is all we ask *pulls a puppy dog face infront of computer screen*
im'a shut up now, good day mr landy ;)

Danikea said...

When are the Valkyrie auditions? I can do a really good Irish accent I don't look like her but I can with a wig or hair dye and contact lenses

Priya said...

Okay, ignore my previous comment. I was obviously completely deluded when I wrote it. I am sorry for such a heinous mistake and I shall endevour not to let it happen again. (The mistake was Tanith's last name) Oh, the shame!

Skyril A.K.A the Vociferous Chatterer, Loyal Forever and Always, The Ever-Present, the Pluviophile said...

Hello I'm just commenting to say hello ^.^'Tis been a lil guess I'm weird...I actually spell most things right and have at least mostly proper grammer...Very nearly none of your other fans, Mr.Landy, do type properly...
O and by the way I don't know how Jonny Depp would do.Since he's kinda laughs at his one stuff sometimes.Skulduggery doesn't you know...
Anyway I'm going to go read your new blog entry now :D.

Zoe said...


Charlie Lamia said...

I won't trouble you Mr. Landy with the daunting task of murdering a child(mentally and vocally) that goes by the name of Justin bieber.



Lillian Faye said...

Haha I shall just post one last comment on this blog before I move on to the new blog post and read the comments there. Ohyes, and of course leave a comment too.

My work here is done I think.


Dawood said...

I think "Mwahahahaha! In your face Valkryie!"
would be a cool title.
Oh, and add me on face book. You ignored me!:( Oh yeah, i forgot. MY contest entry is the best!

absyntheminded said...

Mortal Coil?!?! Would be amazing! It's from Hamlet! Which is by Shakespeare! Who is a god! CALL IT THAT!

SimAllyHer said...

Mortal Coil? thinking on that, I think of human life. mortal = human and coil = life cycle

so call me crazy but it seems like a apt title for a book that must surely deal with possibly the end of the world? Ah well, publishers aren't all they should be.

Good Luck thinking of a new title, still like the old one to be frank.

Unknown said...

7 new blogs! i leavr for a month and now there are 7!!! you can not noan about us commenting if all your going to do is write 7 more in the course of 4 weeks!
Also yuo realise its mainly just some people commenting numerous times, dont get ahead of yourself (jokes...)
I am saddened at the fact there is no mention of me in your blog, and i proposed marriage, derek! we would have stupidly long names and force people to write them out for us, until their hands fall off, i thought we loved eachother.... *sobbing*
Yey! new book!
right, im now off to read your other 6 blogs, bye

Anonymous said...

woohoo, prophecy fufilling-ness.
I better be involved in it somehow...

'sacrifice' and 'bieber' in the same sentence??
hmm... interesting... I'm glad i did use my sister's laptop without asking...

knight fantasy said...

i can read all of u, u know...
how come u all hated justin beiber ssssoooooooooooo much?!!!!
he's nice, he's kind and he's the most perfect boy i've ever seen!
so most people can't hate him! unless of course, most of u guys r actually...well, guys.
so there's a reason 4 u 2 hate him, cause ur jelous of him.
if u guys keep this up, im gonna start 2 hate everyone of u(includin u derek) and i really dont wanna do that!

knight fantasy said...

oh and hv u guys ever think bout mayb even justin reads skulduggery pleasant? HMMM?!!!!
he's probably readin all of ur comments right now!

knight fantasy said...

and if u dont mind derek, would u pleeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeee
get jonny depp 2 be skulduggery in the movie?
i dont know bout u guys but i really want skulduggery to b funny AND HIS VOICE MUST, AND I SAY MUST SOUND LIKE A VELVET U HEAR ME?!!!!!(well "read me" but, u know what i mean...)

Tanith Low said...

mortal coil: the troubles and activities of the world (in the Shakespearean phrase this mortal coil )

i'm going to pretend i didn't go on

Octa said...

Hello there.

Octa said...


Octa said...

I will walk 500 miles.

Octa said...

Like baby, baby, baby,no.

Octa said...


Octa said...


The Grave of a Coward said...

This blog post has been documented, recorded, and filed into the Blogland Archive on December 8, 2014.