Behold the alternate cover. Gasp. Swoon. Wet yourself. Is it not brilliant? Is it not OMINOUS?
For more information, check out this guest blog I wrote for Waterstones here:
http://www.waterstones.com/blog/2014/07/skulduggery-pleasant-the-dying-of-the-light/#more-55456
(In other news, the Minions who have signed up for the Theatre of Shadows will be receiving an email on Saturday afternoon, around about 4 PM, detailing what the whole thing is about.
Here's a hint: it's AWESOME.
You can sign up at any time here theatreofshadows.ie)
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So...
-I look up at Root, giving a grin-
Well, I was born in Kanatahséton.
I was born with complete cerebral capacity, and, at such a young age, was unable to control it.
So, at the tender age of seven, I killed my entire family without a thought. At least, not my thought.
I then ran away from Kanatahséton, and joined an assassin's guild, where I honed my skills, and adapted very quickly.
But, now, I am a rogue assassin.
(Alright. I dedicate to cookies and cream ice cream for meals. Because it is so yummy...
And to Mårē because I love him to pieces.
Ily!
And being free. Because fuck you society an all your pressures to look perfect. If I don't want to put on mascara, then I don't have to wear mascara.
FYS!))
Oh, that's cool, well maybe its not, but for me, that's pretty cool.
Root. You can get files, yes?
*She smiles and winks*
Then you should be thoroughly informed about myself.
Actually Death.
I don't know a lot about you. In actual fact, the only thing. I know about you is your true name, and that is only because my informant told me.
-I smile at Rose's comment, waiting for Root's response-
Also, I would assume that you and Mårē here were together, you give away a lot in smiles.
Okay, Root.
What's her true name, then?
I know everything about her. And you, for that matter.
So, what is it?
Everyone knows about that... Don't they?
I'm known for many things. Serpine's daughter. Hitman for a while. Helped destroy a few Sanctuaries here and there. All that fun stuff.
*She grins at Root and nods*
Yeah. You'd be right.
*She nudges Mårē's arm with her shoulder*
It is Slīvœrrsę
Sorry it took so long, I knew what it was but then I had to check the files for how to spell it.
-I look into Rose's eyes, holding her face, leaving a kiss on her lips-
*rubs eyes continuously, all the whole chanting*
Oh crap, gross, PDA
I NEED EYE SOAP.
*while
What's my true name, Root?
Surely there must be some files on me.
*She blushes and turns to Root as she comments, shocked*
Love.
Nobody asked for my back story, but I'm sharing it anyway. Not that it will do the lot of you any good.
I am no one.
I wasn't born no one, I was born Mireille Cavendish, but that seems so long ago...
I'm not talking about my childhood, about my parents, who taught me how to use a computer and then left me in the care of a governess. I won't mention my brother and sister, who were sent to a fancy boarding school that wasn't what it looked like on the outside. I won't tell you about how much time I spent believing I just wasn't good enough to go there. How I didn't know the truth about that place or my siblings or my family.
I'm past Mireille.
For most of my life, I've been Fabi.
Or rather, I've wanted to be Fabi. She started out as someone who wasn't needlessly violent but was a fighter when she needed to be. She was brave. She was intelligent. She was a hero. She had power, and she was willing to work to grow.
I liked to think of her as a spy, but I guess she wasn't one, not really. Not by most people's definition of spy. She wasn't a glamorous person with a trench coat, and she didn't run about hiding behind trees and such.
People have never paid much attention to her/me. She has/I have never made a huge impression on anyone. That's something Fabi relied on. She worked briefly for the Sanctuary, tracking down fugitives, tailing suspects, preventing robberies, that sort of thing. Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime, when it's a little less classified. Okay, fine. It's not really all that secret. She was never in on anything high-profile. Not that it matters. So many of you know everything, after all. Why should this little bit of information be out of your grasp?
Eventually, Fabi's dislike of authority and disorganization, combined with arrogant people and her own confidence issues made it too difficult for Fabi to work there. She was fired by a nitwit who was later removed from his position after some questionable events, and could easily have appealed and gotten her job back, but she didn't want to bother. She went freelance, occasionally doing work for the Sanctuary, occasionally for friends, occasionally for random people or organizations. Sometimes she would solve problems just because she could. Money had never been an issue for her.
She joins an organization at one point, though that's really not the best way of putting it. The people at the Library don't all see eye to eye on everything. The group as a whole stands for gaining knowledge, but doesn't make much of a political statement. The Library is just a safe place to run to.
When Fabi first found Blogland, she'd had little training, but by the time there was a big threat that needed her attention, she was a bit more...interesting. She survived Alastair, a ghost/blade of grass named Charlie, the demons, ten parallel versions of her, a dreamworld created by poison and a group of criminals that wanted her to die.
That's when her confidence started to fall again. She felt weak compared to the rest of them. What good is metal-bending against Alchemy or Channeling or knowing your True Name?
She had to go into hiding anyway, because of the criminals that wanted her blood.
It was all too easy to fake her death, leave behind realistic evidence that Kacee Cross had killed her.
Now she's me, Audrey Rosemaria Nielsen, a mortal, mostly. I'm not sure if there's anything I can do about the not-aging thing. I've never heard of it being reversed before, but there's got to be a way.
I'll live for a while, go grocery shopping, work in an office, be the nobody I've always been inside. Leave saving the world to people who are actually worth shit. I still think about my friends a lot: Saph, Adra, Aretha, Zaf, Trip, Snow, Arra... I have to believe they're all okay. It's so much easier to believe in them than it is to believe in myself.
So yeah, that's my sob story. Doesn't matter if you read it or not. I'm gone.
-I wrap my arm around Rose's waist, waiting for Root-
Even if there were files, which there most certainly are, things like true names are very delicate and you have to know where to look. When working with true names it is less of a matter of seeking for files but actually have to read code being sent through the air to desktop computers and on encrypted emails. It would take an experienced member of my discipline minutes to find, for a medium level like me the task is near impossible.
-I smile at Root-
I don't have a true name. I'm not a sorcerer.
Flipping trick questions.
*grumbles*
*Hugs Audrey* That's deep. And beautiful.
Love you.
*She rolls her eyes at Mårē, laughing*
No worries, Root.
No worries for you maybe, but for me, many worries, one being looking like a fool. I should be used to it, I do it often, nevertheless it continues to bother me.
[hugs Deathy]
Love you, too.
Anyways, I should go.
[disappears]
*Hugs again*
[Ghost-hugs back]
*Hugs again again*
You should sleep.
Yeah, probably...
It's too hot, though. :-/
Too cold here... Heh...
Ugh I have to go into school today to get references from my old teachers -_-
Hi guys
Well, ive gotta go
[Sends hot chocolate and purple fuzzy socks]
Hi/bye, Chloe. Good luck!
*Sends countless air conditioners and fans*
That's what my house needs. Air conditioning...
Not that it'd be in use 80% of the year...
But still.
[hugs]
I'm gonna go try to sleep again...
Okay, sweet dreams!
... Hello?
Hi Luciana!
Hey Chione!
How are you?
Sorry I poofed but I gtg.
It's okay.
Bye!:)
Hi hi
*laughs hysterically*
ive gotta do more gardening now
byii
Hey ppl.
HELLO ANYONE WHO IS HERE.
I apologise for my disappearance. My sister kidnapped me and forced me to act as player two in her game of Super Mario Galaxy 2. :P
Oh dear lord, Mario games, even the most well trained spies talk. :P
Alastair Cruciatus, the supposedly terrifying sorcerer who has power that could match mine, I have seen you in your natural lighting, you are nothing more then a love sick bird, you cowardly twat. To think I thought you would be one of the few capable of stopping me, how wrong I was. Apparently your prison is not physical, but mental, a prison of love, rendering you incapable of the basic functions of fighting. Where's that legendary firecness now, Alastair? Apparently it goes to breaking beds.
MARIO GAMES ARE FABBITY
BUT MARIO KART KILLS FRIENDSHIPS
-I run in, sweeping Rose off her feet, kissing her-
*Finds Raton to be a curious man, and observes, listening carefully*
(I don't have class today!!! :3 it's exciting as hell that I finally have free time. But I'll miss my professor- he's so kick ass. Anthropology is the Queen Bae.)
(If Rose is still on)
aDRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*Shrugs, and sits on a rock, feeling the vibrations of the earth, letting it tell her where objects are- in a way, it outweighs the ability to see*
*Sets her cans beside her, pulling Alastair's jacket closer around her shoulders*
(sorry, I'm not supposed to converse here anymore)
-I sit down next to Adra-
-I look at her, focusing on her mind-
Hello.
Adra!!! Why..? If I might ask. *She sobs, hugging Adra tightly*
-I see Rose, standing up to greet her-
(Because I'm supposed to have left this place, but since Alastair was here, I figured "why not"?)
*Tilts her head, but doesn't turn towards Raton*
*She waves sadly at Mårē, still clutching Adra*
But I don't want you to leave... You've always been a sister to me. I don't want my sister to go, Adra. You can't leave. Please...?
(Sorry, Rose. All of those months of the bullying ruined this place for me.)
(... I'm sorry... Really, really sorry... Please... Keep in touch?))
(I'll try.)
(Just don't forget that I love you, alright? *Hugs*))
Adrasdos, you have played a big role in Blogland.
It's a pleasure for anyone and everyone to see you on here, and we all enjoy your presence. I've loved to get to know you, and we will miss you greatly. Whether you decide to leave completely, or possibly come back, we will support you in your decision.
We all love you very much, and it's a shame to see another leaf fall from the tree.
To Adra.
(Thanks..)
Okay. Screw my ded.
Mårē, that is now officially the new dedication.
Hear hear!
*Hugs Adra*
I love you. Don't forget it. We all do. Even the sometimes obnoxious ones...
*Hugs again*
The vocals aren't incredible, but I think you all need to hear these lyrics:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58heOMfseVA
(I'd get you the original, but it's in Korean and I don't think many people here speak Korean and the subs don't make as much of an impact so :P)
(Right...)
*Adra gets up with Alastair's coat, and moves away slowly, using her cane as her new eyes*
Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof Poof YOU KILLED HIM to go get some people in the world and I don't know what you know if I was just a lot of my eyes are you want to be neighbors and and I don't don't know know what you doing today and I don't know what you doing today and and I don't know know what you doing today and I don't know what you doing today and I I don't know what you doing today today and I don't know if she was was going on a a a a good and you you are not fun to get!!!!!!!!
Oh my. That's what happens when I click on what it predicts me to say! It's weird. I'm going to try it again.
How be's be's yous eyes eyes of are you are a good investment in the USA today is not a bit big fan of my parents are going slowly melting but the is a good time I have an no one else has been meaning Mist and slowly but surely be a bit late late for for work tomorrow and so on my eyes open for to get a bit more time and slowly melting again!!!!!
Yep!
I'm going to read....
XD
Apparently, you mention your eyes a lot . . .
Which I knew already . . .
Hey. :)
*makes fingers into imaginary phone*. Yes, this is the pizza place. How may we help you?
Hello?
Hello?
Hellllloooooooo?
Stupid prank call
*slams down phone*
Oh hey.
*smiles*
Hello Silente and Vivanus.
*looks for a bench to storm over to*
*realizes that there isn't one*
*makes a bench*
*storms over to it*
*sits down, waiting*
*still pretending to be angry*
Hey Leri.
*looks at Viv one eyebrow raised*
What's up grump?
*tilts head at Vivanus*
... What are you doing?
I was trying to make a joke that was wasted on two spoilsports who don't appreciate humor.
*turns his face away so that they can't see him grin*
*rolls her eyes*
Awww. Did the poor cleaver have his feeling hurt?
*grins at him*
I appreciate humour... I just didn't find it very funny.
ex-cleaver! If I was still a cleaver I'd be trying to kill you right now.
You didn't see my comment earlier about you and that turtle did you?
(I have to go now. Bye!)
(Bye Dragona!)
Yes, I did.
Why would you be attacking me?
*can't keep it up any longer*
*runs to Silente, picks her up, spins her around, sets her down with a kiss.*
*heads over to give Leri a hug also but notices Silente's glare and settles for an awkward handshake instead*
-I crouch in the shadows amongst the forest, skinning a rabbit, walking through the crowd with the remains in a sack-
(that would be an awkward handshake. Shaking hands with thin air..)
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE I just got an email about the Theatre of Shadows and I DON'T HAVE TWITTER DAMMIT. -_-
*looks at Raton*
Been hunting again?
"We have access to a man some call 'the Golden God', who is promising hand-written letters of appreciation and personal skype meetings with the most deserving of our Online Operatives . . ."
:D
"Tweet us your taken name, and use the hashtag #270914 so that we can identify you."
D:
You ciyld set up a Twitter account Star..
THE HASHTAG DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE NUMBERRRRRRS. Just gotta tag Landy in your tweet:')
*gulps*. What did you think?
Cleavers are supposed to eliminate vampires
-I nod to Silente-
I think that if you leave me for a turtle then you at least have to get me a turtle as well.
They are? Huh. Well that explains quite a lot.
-I laugh at the conversation between Silente and Vivanus-
Cleavers aren't anything special.
Ahem. You are wrong there.
-I stare at Vivanus for a moment, then walking off to a nearby tree, leaning against it-
we could share a turtle...
*stands and watches*
*sat on the metaphorical fence*
*looks Silente in the eye*
Hmm.
Where would we keep a turtle?
What? I haven't said anything!
I was thinking it could be a free-roaming turtle.
*nods then shakes his head*
A free roaming turtle? What if it decided to roam under a car.
*moves the bench closer to Silente*
*tilts his head quizically*
*frowns*
What's wrong?
Free roaming inside a big fence
Where would the big fence go?
Nothing's wrong
*smiles then goes back to studying her eyes*
around a big field
*wonders if he's lost his mind*
*wonders what colours her eyes are*
*pulls out a knife and looks at them in its blades reflection*
-I continue to stare at Vivanus, never once blinking-
Do you HAVE a big field?
*Walks behind Raton, listening*
-I dismiss Adrasdos, my focus on Vivanus-
:/
*Backs off and away*
-I begin sorting through Vivanus' memories, searching for something to interest me-
Bye...
(Why are you leaving, Adra?)
Popped on just to say that, Adra, if you do decide to officially leave, I love you to bits and remember to keep in touch, okay?
*hugs*
She left officially a while ago, I think. But it didn't seem like many people noticed then.
#ChaseForBook9
Well, Flora and Mushroom and Death weren't coming on much then . . .
Of course
Not really here. Sorry - I have this terrible habit of dropping in and dropping out between tasks. :P
Well, no one wanted to RP, so I'm going. Bye.
Sil?
Adra? I'll RP
Anyone?
Well that's just jolly.
*looks at her eyes reflected in the blade*
Hmm.
What shade would you say they are?
Well. I have blue eyes right. Only...
Only around the pupil they're gold. And flecks of gold are in the blue as well.
*frowns*
I noticed. They are quite beautiful. But what shade would you say they are?
I don't know....they're quite dark. Like...dark crystal...maybe....
(I can see the shade in my mind but can't describe it)
Sil? We can't BOTH be caught up in the beauty of your eyes.
Hiya
Ugh, Im trying to come up with a title for my new book
(I know what you mean)
Hmm. You're right.
What?
*puts the blade down shaking her head*
Oh right sorry. Got distracted.
*sheaths the blae*
TThey're weird.
(What's it about Chloe G?)
(How about, They Never Saw it Coming. )
HOWS MY ZYI ZYI!
But a good weird.
Zyi Zyi disappeared
Yeah I suppose.
*smiles*
Anyway....
We forgot to do something yesterday...
I'll find my Zyi Zyi!
*runs into the forest to find a turtle with a scar across its face*
Sorry. She declared her rights as a free turtle and set off to make a life for herself.
(Its about a girl elf, Darci lives on an island with the Darkwater tribe. There is another tribe but they don't associate with eachother. One night Darci goes into the forest and meets a boy elf from this other tribe, Trent. They come across a corpse and go their separate ways. But more from both tribes go missing and end up dead. Then humans come along and promise them a place that would be safe and peaceful for them - when in actual fact they want to send them to the most dangerous places to exterminate them-. Darci and Trent are reunited and meet other supernatural beings and .... that's as far as I got. It follows a weird lucid dream I had and I was in Darci's position)
Did we?
*looks at her with fake puzzlement*
*Finds a turtle wandering around the forest with a scar across her face. Picks it up and hugs it, spinning in circles with it*
Zyi Zyi!
(I like my idea for a title)
(Hmm.. yeah They never saw it coming sounds quite good for that)
Uh...did you actually forget?
Who am I? Who are you? Where is this place?
*sighs and shakes her head*
((titles....Oooh what titles are we making up?))
I would say I have amnesia except I can't remember what amnesia is.
*glares*
*grumbles under her breath and walks off*
Who is the pretty girl?
And why is she mad at me?
And why is she mad at me?
amnesia
/amˈniːzɪə/
noun
noun: amnesia
a partial or total loss of memory.
"they were suffering from amnesia"
*runs after Silente*
Wait! Pretty girl! Wait!
(What's a noun?)
*leans against a tree and rubs her temples eyes closed*
noun
/naʊn/
noun
Grammar
noun: noun; plural noun: nouns; noun: common noun; plural noun: common nouns; noun: proper noun; plural noun: proper nouns
a word (other than a pronoun) used to identify any of a class of people, places, or things common noun, or to name a particular one of these proper noun.
*walks up to Silente*
*picks her up and starts running*
(So a noun is a noun?)
I guess... yea
*squeals and glares at him*
What are you doing?!
Surprising you. Admit it. You never saw it coming!
*looks to see if she got both jokes*
(Cool, so when a noun gets really good at what it does, does it become a pronoun?)
*laughs*
Meanie.
basically
I doth dedicateth this pageth to
Er
Something
To everything. And everyone.
Bravi!!!
Tnk yu.
*sets Silente down*
Now, what were we saying about yesterday's activity?
We...uh....you...
*shakes her head*
Doesn't matter.
Did it involve...a date?
*smiles*
So you do remember!
*stops*
I swear to god if you just pull a date as in the fruit out of your pocket now.
*quickly puts the date back in his pocket *
*All say 'ya' BOUDICCA!!!!*
HORRIBLE HISTORIES CHLOG I LOVE YOU!
It is my FAVPURITE programme XD
FAVOURITE
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