Behold the alternate cover. Gasp. Swoon. Wet yourself. Is it not brilliant? Is it not OMINOUS?
For more information, check out this guest blog I wrote for Waterstones here:
http://www.waterstones.com/blog/2014/07/skulduggery-pleasant-the-dying-of-the-light/#more-55456
(In other news, the Minions who have signed up for the Theatre of Shadows will be receiving an email on Saturday afternoon, around about 4 PM, detailing what the whole thing is about.
Here's a hint: it's AWESOME.
You can sign up at any time here theatreofshadows.ie)
Posts
4,580 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3001 – 3200 of 4580 Newer› Newest»I don't know. She is your sister. You know her better than I do.
I have to leave soon.
*laughs at that notion*
Not biological sister. And we can probably just tell her. So long as she doesn't impale me!
*grins*
Nooooo. Don't leeeeave meeeeeee alooooooone!
Would you like some armor to prevent impalement. I know a guy who would make you it for free.
I said soon. Not right now.
*laughs*
Nah I'll be fine. She wouldn't hurt me...
...well she would seriously hurt me....
...she wouldn't kill me....
...probably.
*winks*
Wb El!
*realizes he's been gazing into Silente's eyes*
*snaps back to attrntion*
You are all very... violent. It's a miracle no one has been killed yet.
Hi Elleni
(Wb = welcome back.)
*laughs at Leri*
Ah well the thing about that is...
We have.
Got to go now. Ten seconds left.
How are you El?
*waves*
People have died here?
I'm glad I brought a shotgun...
NOOOO DON'T LEAVE!
Bye.
*leans forward to kiss Silente*
Well...people might not be the right term... Oh wait in a few instances it is! But in a lot its not...
*shrugs at Leri*
Stuff happens. That's why people carry weapons around here.
(Waiting)
DON'T LEAVE :(
It's for links, but it doesn't really work...
(Test)
Oh. It worked for once. That's new.
(Yeah, it doesn't seem to do much.)
Stuff does not just happen, Silente. People getting killed is serious.
Well...yeah it is....
*frowns*
It doesn't happen that often...not really...
(One moment.)
Cheese
Tickld
(Elleni - it seems to be the / at the end.)
Oh yh http!
Elleni click on me
Tickld! It's like iwastesomuchtime.com but better.
*nods*
*poofs for 10/15/20/x minutes*
back
(in yellow and black)
I JUST GOT ARMAGEDDON OUTTA HERE!
MY DAD WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR WITH THE PACKAGE!
I'm gonna open it after 9:30,
for prayer and Iftaar purposes.
Hello Egg.
Hai Leri!
Hai Elleni!
Hai Silente!
Hai Armageddon!
Hai Egg!
*teleports in a frenzy and hugs everyone I know*
YES!!!!
I often get names wrong irl.
Like, it's not unusual for me to call someone one or two wrong names first. :P
And my sister just called to me, and I meant to call her name back and I called Hunter's . . .
*facepalm*
I NEVER HAVE TO CALL HUNTER'S NAME
HE WASN'T EVEN THERE
I WASN'T EVEN THINKING ABOUT HIM
HELP
THIS IS A NEW LEVEL OF DETERIORATION. :P
*not really here*
HAI MS.BUBBLE!
HABERDAHSRMEMAKETHEWORLDJOLLYURSFJBOOKS!
(Star - well maybe you were thinking about him without knowing you were thinking about him? More thoughts go on in your mind than the ones you're conscious of.)
*calms down*
*takes a deep breath*
*grows a mustache and wears a monocle and top hat*
Yes.
(people say I have a mustache already- I have the only mustache in school..)
omaigad
DEDICATION TIME"
I dedicate this page to the Golden God and monocles with mustaches.
Why not?
... How can a monocle have a moustache?
Why can't it?
Out of the humans I've talked to, tasi has mentioned a monocle with a moustache so I assume that they don't like... exist.
I'm on the borderline of sane and insane,
so half the time i'm logical
The other half I'm crayyzaay
Where is everyone else though?
Hello! :)
*hums*
*totally hasn't been listening to the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra performing the Star Trek theme, over and over for the past hour and a half*
*shifty eyes*
Syuuuur denn.
I don't know. Maybe they've gone somewhere.
I'm hungry...
*takes a pouch of nutrient paste from her pocket and pushes it into the induction port in her helmet and drinks it*
Well...
I GOT ARMAGEDDON OUTTA HERE FIVE MINUTES AGO!!
MY DAD WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR WITH THE PACKAGE!
I'm gonna open it after 9:30,
for prayer and Iftaar purposes.
(Hey Taia! How are you?)
I know I just repeated the post from a page ago.
ITS AWESOME!
Oh yeah,
Hai T,
Hows be you at now?
(God damn it sticky keys I'm trying to fix my shift key.)
(hate sticky keys
why do they exist)
Hey Dragona! :)
Hi Elemental! :)
I'm grand thanks! How're you both?
@Egg: YAY! on AOH. :D
@Dragona: xD
I've been in that situation, too. I still haven't even used sticky keys, either. :P
(I think it's to help people with disabilities.)
(I'm fine, thank you.)
(I just thought that too, but nowadays there are like sensors and machines for disabled people on computers)
(Mkay too)
(Brb.)
mbd/msd - I'm drawing. :3
And also still listening to that damned song. It's CATCHY. :P
You know what song's ARE in my head?
So you wanna be a boxer?
and
My name is Tallulah
Yes, Tallulah.
I'm back.
Hey Viv.
Well...
I GOT ARMAGEDDON OUTTA HERE TEN MINUTES AGO!!
MY DAD WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR WITH THE PACKAGE!
I'm gonna open it after 9:30,
for prayer and Iftaar purposes.
Just repeated the same post 3 times.
Hi
So how're you doing?
(Real life or character?)
(pick)
(Character)
I'm doing well. I feel bad about deserting Silente.
What?
You were talking to her a page ago with the ring.
Or was that Jag?
Okay! Lyrics to After Ever After 1 & 2 typed up! Only took me...uh.... X minutes!
Hey! I'm back!
That was me.
I watched the first.
My god, the sadness in it all.
After ever after! I love that song!
The second has Hitler Elsa in it. XD
Oh ok,
How're you doing Silente?
@Elemantal: *laughs* I'm not familiar with either of those songs. :P
Hello, Vivanus! :)
How're you?
My god.
Hitler Elsa?
You kidding.
Silente, you such a jokah.
I'm fine thank you monsure pompermous.
They're great aren't they Viv!
(he said 'that song')
(I assume he watched one)
@Taia: I'm doing well minus the fact that Silente seems to be ignoring me.
..I'm not joking about Hitler Else. One of the lines of her song is 'I hope you concentrate I'm camp (Heil Elsa!)'
Yeah, I only watched one
Hi Silente! :)
*doesn't know those songs, either. :P*
**Elsa
I'm not ignoreing you Viv.
*looks up*
Oh there you are.
There are two Viv! Two! It has Hitler Elsa!
WATCH THEM NOW TAIA.
Oh yeah silente, read from the top of the page until you see my celebration about AOH
I already have Pomp. It's good. I hope you enjoy it when you read it.
@Viv: Good to hear. And, I think she was just slow responding. :) ^^
@Silente: O_o
YOU MUST WATCH THEM TAIA!
*pokes Viv*
Ello.
Post the lyrics to ever After 2 silente, i have to read.
With Germany and Putin too
I'll free the penguins and throw you in a zoo
We're going green by spilling red
And If your not dead!
I built a horde of evil snowmen
They're gonna take over the world!
Brb
My god.
My GOLDEN GOD.
I must? What ARE they? ^^
Songs about what happens to disney princesses after the happily ever after.
0_0
Ah. ^^
*hasn't seen the majority of the Disney Princess films, either*
*or, like, any of them*
:P
I'm back.
Yeah, but I CALLED HUNTER'S NAME.
I mean, that's just SAD. :P
I've never even properly met him. That would be like calling your name out. It's just WEIRD. It was REAL LIFE. :P
And - yeah. :) Layers. Intricacies. People's thought are fascinating. :)
Doesnt matter, they're dark and funny anyway.
The channel is amazing
Ah okay might take me a while..
If you ever wondered why
Disney tales all end in lies
Here's what happened after all their dreams cane true
(Mulan) After saving China, I went home, alone
I was feeling conflict, in my lower zone
I've been acting like a guy for months
Now I'm losing all control
I think I, am a guy, I'm my soul
I wanna be a man!
I've never seen a guy so hot
Time to reinvent the new me
Everytime he speaks he make me want to sing
I'm so confused
Be quiet or We'll get caught
Maybe one day he'll screw me
Now i really get why my nick name is ping
I got the brains and the bite of females
Plus the brute and the brawn of dudes
I know i'm ready for transformation
It's time to replace all these useless tubes!
Tbc
*still not really here*
*I never really am here . . .*
*pops the bubble*
I'm listening!
@Elemental: Hm. Maybe. But idk if I'd understand them very well. ^^
Welcome back, Dragona! :)
@Star: Did you mean 'your name' in the direct-to-an-individual sense or the general sense, there? Because I've accidentally called my name out before, on more than one occasion. :P ^^
Ok...
(Thanks, Taia.)
*you can't pop me*
*because*
*I'll have you kno-owwwwwww
that I've become . . .
IN-DEST-RUCT-I-BUBBLE*
*#Disturbed*
(Cinderella) The prince, was the absolutely single wish my heart made
Guess my wish came true
But we never really talked much
Before he discovered my shoe
The night after we got married
I recounted all of my plights
Of how i fit, inside a pumpking
My cannines turned to coach men
Prince threw me in bedlam that night
The white jackets say I'm nutty (she nutty as a bat)
Cause my clothes are sewn by rats (stick some meds in her food)
But the pills have turned my brain to putty
Now lucifers not just my cat! (I AM SATAN)
Their insulin puts me under
Shock therapy made me insane (bzzzzzzz)
And after ywars (bzz) of steady frying (bzz bzz)
The doctor (bzz) gave up trying.
They stuck two steel rods in my brain! (bzzzzzz)
Tbc
*teleports indestructible bubble to space*
Mkay.
*teleports back in a billionth of a millisecond*
@Taia: I was replying to Dragona's comment on the other page . . . :P
Imagine calling Dragona out. Or Taia. In REAL LIFE. O_O
Often when people say my name, I say my name back . . . not be accident; I do it intentionally . . . well, reflexively, but that's out of habit.
*SURVIVVVVVVVVVVES, FLOATING AROUND HAPPILY*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS*
*DRIFTS BACK TO EARTHHHHHHHHHH*
(I've never called anyone or tried to call anyone by anything but their name/nickname.)
(Tiana) I spent a bloomin life time
To open my cafe
Then i took a dive in 2005
Now its washed away (its all washed away)
I was picked up by a chopper
After four days on my roof nah nah nah
Now my new hone is the astrodome
Cause New Orleans aint katrina proof
You better carry round a shot gun
Or looters gonna take your kids
You better pee inside of jam jars (ew)
Be sure to keep those lids
Now we needed Noah but we got bush
Our saviour flew away
Rough seas and levees
Roughs seas and levees
Rough seas and levees
I'm dead.
Tbc
*grabs bubble and uses power directly to fast forward to end of time*
DRIFT HERE!
*reverses backwards to my last comment*
OOH!
I don't understand... why are you trying to harm a bubble?
Yeah . . .
It's not unusual for me to go "Darcy! Ruth! Catherine! Elizabeth!"
:P
Although it's generally "Darcy! Ruth! Elizabeth!" or "Darcy! I mean Elizabeth!"
*facepalm*
ALTHOUGH B once told me that her dad was trying to say her name and he said her mum's name, the name of her sister, the name of her other sister, the name of her cousin and the name of her niece before he got to hers. XD
Star (the bubble)
is distracting me as i read silente's italic word version of after ever after 2
(Star, lol.)
I don't see the bubble distracting you...
Bye guys.
@Dragona: More to the point, why are they trying to harm ME? :O
I'm NICE!
Hey! I never said anything about the end of TIME!
*looks at the end*
*ooh*
*nasty*
*drifts*
*drifts*
*drifts*
*drifts*
*drifts*
*drifts*
*drifts into the Restaurant at the End of the Universe*
*gets a nice time traveller to take me back*
@Star: *nods* I know, but I wasn't sure if you meant 'your' like your own, or like Dragona's. :P ^^
*nods* I often fear that I'll accidentally do that in school, when somebody there reminds me a bit of somebody here. It's SCARY. O-O
*laughs* Though I THINK I might have accidentally called somebody else Taia once a couple of years ago, and then being like, "wait no that's me" and then being like "wait, no it's not". :P
Shush, or you'll be drifting in the end of time with it.
Fours, Viv . . . :/
WELL I CAN'T EXACTLY /CHOOSE/ WHERE I DRIFT TO! :O
I'M RELIANT UPON THE AIR CURRENTS!
BLAME THEM, NOT MEEEEEE!
Aww, i feel sad now...
*forwards to said time travveler*
*stop them in flux of time*
*takes bubble to when everywhere was hawaii*
BE FREE!
*gets coconut milk*
Here, make your bubble BIGGER!
Bosh'tet.
@Taia: Ahhhhhh, kay. :)
Ah, lol. :) :P I don't call other people my name . . . unless they have the same name as me.
I don't know any Holly/ies well enough to have transposed their name, I think . . . I don't remember. :/
Oh you wanna come?
*takes Dragona*
BE FREE!
(Elsa) There is no snow on the mountain tonight
Just sulphur in the air
A kingdom of green house gases
Only bill Nye seems to care
My town is melting breaking of into the sea
It's time to show the strenght
Of an evil queen
With germany and putin too
I'll free the penguins and throw you in a zoo
We're going green by spilling red
And if your not dead
I built a horse of evil snowmen
They're gonna take over the world
Let it snow, let it snow
Now fox news will need heat lamps
Let it snow, let it snow
I hope you concentrate in camp (heil Elsa)
I don't care who we have to slay
Let my troops march on
The colds coming back and its here to stay
(Tiana) I sunk like a brick
(Cinderella) Prince thinks I'm sick
(Elsa) ice us melting quick
(Mulan) Now I have a..lot of self esteem
Wah wah wah wah wah wah....
TA DAAAH!
My god.
Silente, I love you.
(don't take that literally, I have a crush/friend anyway)
*looks disdainfully at coconut milk*
*but has no power over my drifting*
*I land in coconut milk and get all milky and coconut-y*
*doesn't like coconut, milk, or coconut milk*
:(
*after a while, begins the slow drifting process of getting back to Blogland, which involves me getting rained on, which is good*
*happily banishes the coconut milk*
I AM OFFCIALLY ALLOWED TO DRIVE-Zaffy
*floats, but can still breathe thanks to the sealed suit*
Awww. Bye Viv :'(
Use the straw Star.
(takes Star to the time when bubble ruled)
BE FREE!
*laughs and hugs Silente* :)
I love you, and please DO take the literally, but not romantically. :)
*gives star the power to move of her own will*
That took a while...
YEY ZAFFY!
See. Hitler Elsa.
BUBBLES NEVER RULED
WE ARE TOO AWESOME TO RULE
*puts my human disguise on, the one I wear in real life* *finds shunter*
*reappears in Blogland*
*firmly sits next to a tree and refuses to move*
*just keeps floating*
*is kind of scared that, y'know, she's at the end of time*
*that
Never mind,
I LOVE YOU!
TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY IN ANY WAY YOU WANT,
I'M CRAZY!
I think my fav song from AEA 1 is Jasmine and from AEA 2 its Elsa.
((Go to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Then find your way back from there. :)))
*takes Leri to her people*
Phew.
*goes back to BlogLand*
YAAAY! :) *smiles happily* *hugs Elemental :)*
*goes to the restaurant at the end of the universe and manages to find her way back*
*points shotgun at Egg*
Bosh'tet.
And now...
*collapses and sleeps from typing so much*
The guys at that restaurant are dodgy.
They stole those time powers from my parents and killed them when I was born.
Life is tough.
((#HitchhikersGuidetotheGalaxy, btw, with the Restaurant at the End of the Universe thing. :P))
*finds way back to Blogland, but then points shotgun at Egg*
Bosh'tet.
*heals*
NO.
DONT.
(realises that they stole Leri's oxygen tank)
*replaces it before anyone notices*
@Elemental: Well.
You kinda have to time travel to get there.
Aren't most people who would travel watch the world burn because it's aesthetically pleasing a little dodgy?
*has never even HEARD of Tiana?? o0*
@Star: xD
My dad always confusedly calls my brother and I a number of combinations of our names together, before eventually getting the two right. :P
@Star: If you're reliant on air currents, how'd you drift in space? *raises eyebrows and tilts her head obnoxiously :P*
OH. *suddenly understands what Hitler Elsa is, at least*
*I thought it was just a really offensive pop singer or something*
*I'm a bit less confused now, at least*
@Zaf: Oh, That's Awesome! :O
Congratulations, Zaffy. :) :) :)
*gets up*
Anyway. What's happening here?
*floats in between Elemental and Leri*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
PEACE
NOT VIOLENCE
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
I don't know who Tiana is either...
*kisses bubble*
Yes.
*time walks in a blue cloud to restaurant*
HEY JOE!
joe: What?
EAT THIS!
*throws holy hand grenade from MontyPython*
joe: NOOO
*people are blasted to the end and I walk away*
@Taia: Ha. XD
People in my family don't get my name wrong . . .
My siblings have rhyming nicknames, so they can get muddled a bit. :P
@Taia: BECAUSE I AM AWESOME
DO NOT QUESTION BUBBLE LOGIC
IT IS FAR SUPERIOR TO YOUR OWN. :P
(also, awesome bubbles, which means all of them, can drift on air currents too fine for humans to detect)
(I deleted the comment, Egg. She didn't go to the restaurant. Plus she has no oxygen tank - there's a reaction going on inside the suit which powers it as well as providing breathable air.)
Guys, I just saved you all.
I gave Star the power to move thy bubble,
I gave Leri her Oxygen tank,
I gave Silente's heart back as Joe took it and Taia got brain damage that I reversed.
(Ok, I fixed that gizmo setup)
Joe took my heart? Meh. Not like it does much.
((Eh. You can't kill the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. I mean, it only exists on one day, and it seems to remake itself or something every night. Like, there's always new people there, which is odd because it's the same day, but the whole trilogy doesn't make sense. It's a trilogy with five books in it. That's just the beginning of its oddness. :P))
Little did you know, your heart had a fiver in it.
Look in your pocket.
*star, I'm a time travveler. I can do things.*
I don't HAVE a bubble. I AM a bubble.
I AM A BUBBLE.
*nods firmly*
(I tell people this at school, you know. Their facial expressions upon hearing my declaration never fail to be amusing. :P)
OH. I'm planning on reading Hitch at some point, I think. I read the sample from iBooks after I read a Star Trek reference that turned out to be in it, and remembered your mentions of it. I'd forgotten about that.
*has many books which she needs to read*
*and when I DO buy books, they're random ones from bookshop shelves, and not the ones I even planned on reading*
*so I keep reading books, but my list isn't getting any shorter D:*
BRB
(In which case the suit will be damaged from having it removed. In which case, she'll have been exposed to unclean air, so she'll become ill and die.)
*starts coughing*
(sorry, word mistake Star)
Least you can move of your own will.
*looks in her pocket*
*pulls out a mouse*
Funny looking fiver.
(dragona, please don't make this difficult)
Silente, that's a juicy bloodfull mouse. That's a fiver in vampire terms.
(I'm not making it difficult - it's what would happen.)
*hurries to remove the suit repair kit from one of her pockets and seals the suit again* *coughs some more*
((The whole Restaurant at the End of the Universe is presumably constructed and maintained by time travellers. Imagine, you knowwwwwww . . . you saying you knew all the ins and outs of painting the Mono Lisa because "I sell paintings too. I know these things."))
*nods slowly*
Suuuuuuuure.
*shakes her head*
Hmmm. I'm bored
*walks over to a tree and makes a target on it*
*backs up about 80 metres and pulls out a blade*
*throws it without hesitation and smiles as it hits the bulls eye*
If it can be maintained by time travelers then it can be destroyed by one.
Or a holy hand grenade.
Also, I never said I destroyed it, I said the grenade blew Joe and Co to the end.
YUSSSSS :)
*nods and hugs Elemental*
I CANNNNNN
THANK YOU. :)
*because, you know, it's a pretty famous Restaurant, and we're just a planet who is "Mostly harmless."
@Taia: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is wonderful. :) It makes no sense whatsoever. It's glorious. :)
@Elemental: Yeah.
But if there's a different version of it every night . . . ?
*restaurant
*takes a syringe out from her pocket and injects herself with immune system boosting drugs*
*steps away from the knife*
Why did oyu hug me?
Why did u say I cannnnn?
My brain iz ztupid, I canznot Cumprehendz
But I said I diddnt destroy, I blew Joe and Co to the end.
Yup. :P I missed that. My brain. My fault. Sorry.
I HUGGED YOU BECAUSE . . .
BECAUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*closes her eyes and listens carefully, silently drawing another knife*
*spins and throws the knife, causing it to become a blur*
*smiles hearing it hit a rabbit*
*runs over to see how she did*
I CAN BRAIN EVERYBODY!
because?
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