How are we all?
Are we all nervous? Terrified, even? Are we all dreading December 21st, the last day on Earth as predicted by the Mayans? Although, as Jon Stewart pointed out on The Daily Show, the Mayans haven't exactly got the best track record as far as predicting the end of civilisations go... to wit, the Mayans...
But I digress.
So how will you be spending the last day on Earth? Will you be surrounded by loved ones? Will you be sobbing into a tub of ice cream? Will you, in fact, forget all about the end of the world because you still haven't got your Christmas shopping done?
Or will you be reading a very special end-of-the-world short story as posted on this very Blog- a short story that will ONLY be available on the 21st and 22nd before being taken down- in which Skulduggery and Valkyrie track down the cause of the world's destruction and do their very best to avert it? A short story called "The Button"?
Hmm? Is THAT what you'll be doing?
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Death, Nix attacked me because I laughed at 'you be deaded'
*crashes into tree*
*grabs fallen branch and uses as cane to stand up*
Owowowow
Death, I could, but what do you have in return
*Tries not to laugh*
*Fails*
That is quite funny actually!
Oh, and I attacked you because you insulted me in Latin
Msd.
What do you want? My dad can get just about anything!
I'm asking what you can get me
Might be bye Zath!
*Looks at Nix*
*Looks at Kes*
My dog is biting my foot!
*Picks up dog*
FLY!
*Throws dog*
*Dog's ears start flapping and flies around the room*
Just about anything Nix! Anything except Eden to get back on...
No I didn't Nix...
Salveté Nixion, quid agis?
Translates as: Hello Nixion, how are you?
*Laughs*
Death, you have to come up with an actual suggestion.
I payed him book on symbols from Miss Sorrows's library for these two lovely knives right here. *twirls knives*
*with a
That's it Kes!
*throws fireballs at Kes*
*Sigh*
How about... one of Billy-Ray's old straight razors? First edition (his first one)?
Also, google translate says: Ye will save alive, Nixion, what are you doing? For your question...
What did I do?!
*blocks fireball with cane*
*drops flaming cane*
Oh dear. I seem to have started a forest fire...
Death, Google translate doesn't work for Latin. It's too complicated.
No thanks Death
What else
Kes, stop insulting me in Latin!
*pushes air*
*Looks at forest fire with curiosity*
Fire is painful, right?
*Walks into fire*
*Gets burned*
OKAY! I LEARNED MY LESSON!!!!!
*Runs out*
A Cleaver's scythe and a key to the Irish Sanctuary?
I didn't insult you in Latin! I dont even KNOW any Latin insults!
Walking into fire is always a good idea.
*falls down before air hits me*
*tosses flaming stick at Nix*
My leg HURTS!
Hi Death! *hugs*
Nup. What else Death?
I saw you Kes!
*throws rock*
Hi Ember!
Silver, fire is kinda painful...
*dodges stick*
Why am I Ember!?!?
And yes, Death, I was being sarcastic XD
*Hugs back*
What's up?
*Looks at Nix*
My dad for a month?
The ceiling. HA HA HA no.
That's why!!!
Saw me doing WHAT?
*blocks with sword*
*stands up again*
*throws knife at Nix's left eye*
Death, negotiations can go on for several days.
Ember, SeptEMBER
I don't even know what's happening any more. All I know is that fire is painful and apparently my name is Ember.
OH i SEE
OH i SEE
Negotions are annoying...
*Calls Serpine*
Dad, can you please come to Blogland?
Really? Yay! See you in 5!
Don't forget that Nix is attacking me because I apparently insulted him in Latin.
My mom is now China, by the way.
No. What else Death?
*dodges knife but it stratches left check*
*Looks around*
*Climbs tree*
*Starts eating ice cream upside down*
You insulted him in Latin? Do you know Latin?
Ice cream?
Yay! Do you have vanilla?
Ember, do you happen to know where she is? I used to be her apprentice, and I've been looking for her for AGES!
Finally! An injury!
*throws other knife*
*pushes air to send knife back to Kes*
I'm back but only for a bit.
I think that she's trying to go overseas right now. (She persuaded the pilot to let her on without a ticket.)
Ember, I'm taking Latin II.
I didn't I sult him! I said Hello and asked him how he was!
Yep! Vanilla to the rescue! Catch!
*Drops vanilla ice cream*
I used to take Latin, but I forgot it all.
Ember, typical.
Shite.
*dodges knife*
*knife hits tree*
Hi again, Zath!
WHY WOULD YOU DROP ICE CREAM? *cries*
I know veeeeery little.
Don't worry. If the plane crashes, you could probably catch up with her.
(Pssst, Kes, you're kinda god moding)
(and I think the plane will crash, seeing as how the pilot can't take his eyes off her. And you're probably not supposed to be that distracted while flying a PLANE.)
Except for the fact that I'm now Administrator of the American Sanctuaries.
Doesn't Sult have that job?
Nix, I am? Sorry.I don't mean to....
But I have a broken leg and the only reason things keep missing me is because I keep collapsing.
Ember, nope, he's JUNIOR Administrator.
Question marks...
Yeah, but I wrote that I broke your leg... If I didn't, I doubt anything else would happen to you
*shrugs and starts to whistle*
Dad! You're here!
*Grabs book from serpine's hands*
Nix, a everything to know about Phyics?
Silver, I'm hanging upside down on the tree, my gravity skills are slowing it down so you better catch the tub!
OH. I see. MAYBE IF HE WASN'T SO ANNOYING, HE'D BE PROMOTED. (humphs) And I had to have him as a HUSBAND.
NO! THE TUB!
Gotta love overpowered characters.
*grins*
Kestrel, it is so confusing to me when you call September Ember, on account of the fact that my dad's girlfriend Ember is in the other room. You keep almost giving me a heart attack.
I'm laughing my head off thanks to Valkyrie's comment.
No Death
*Glares at Kes*
I'm bored, sorry if it hurts... No, not really... If it hurts, too bad...
Silver the tub of vanilla is still falling. It's hard to control upside down!
Nix, it was my fault that I fell out of the tree though.
But, seeing as we're in the middle of a forest fire-
*collapses onto burning log*
*screeches*
*looks at massive burn on unbroken leg*
*slow motion* Iiiii wiiiiillllllll ccccaaaaaaatttchhhhhh iiiiiiittttt!!! *catches it in a slow motion side jump thing*
Gotta go, bye!
Sorry Val!
Nooooo *turns slow motion off* Ok bye!
Val.... Where's Skul? Is he here? Now?
Nix! What do you want? My dad for a year? A voucher on Hollow Men? The Necklace of Truth?
*Clamps hands over mouth*
Bye Zath!
Bye Zathio!!!!
Bye Mist!
Well, it's out now...
The Necklace of Truth is kinda a funny story... I stole it from the Sanctuary, Skulduggery and Val stole it from me and I stole it back. As the name suggests, you can only tell the truth about any question that is asked, and an answer must be given
*Sees shark fin in the ocean*
JAWS!!!!
*Runs further up the tree*
Like hell sharks can climb!
Silence will fall when the question is asked?
Close enough...
The question is: What is your given name Skulduggery?
Meh, sure Death
No, the question is....actually, nevermind.
Doctor Who?
Okay, give me a moment; I have to grab it first...
*Jumps on motorbike and speeds away*
Aye.
You have a motorbike?
Nix, are we done fighting? If so, may I go find someone to heal my legs?
Okay Kes
Death? You're a Necromancer, right? Can you shadow walk me to Nye?
*kidnaps Death*
*gives her to Skul*
Val, can YOU shadow-walk me to Nye?
I would, but... er... It's NYE. I hate it.
Please? I've got a seriously broken leg and a third degree burn, so I really can't move myself...
Sorry, I kind of got whisked away by my mum, who thought that NOW would be a great time to show me how to wash my hair properly.
And by the way, do you think I should have a blog?
lol
Are you a Teleporter or a Necromancer?
Ember, why not?
*Arrives back on the motorbike*
I'm back!!
*Gives Nix the Necklace of Truth*
Kes, I am a learner... I have L plates on! But I'll try!
*Shadow walks Kes to Doctor Nye*
Wow! That worked!!!
*Shadow walks back to Blogland*
Val, you can't kidnap me if I am not there...
Fine.
*kidnaps her now*
*gives her to Skulduggery*
Yay!
Thanks, Death!
*Nye fixes legs while grinning creepily*
*begins walking back to Central*
*Gets kidnapped and handed to Skulduggery*
Uh... hi?
*gives gun things Death wanted*
Yay!
*Gets ring pistol*
Skulduggery, wanna kill me now?
Skulduggery:
*lights Death's hair on fire*
Smith & Wesson, FTW!
You cannot beat Skulduggery!
*sighs* You people are all so mad. That's why I love you.
*skips around like Clarabelle*
We're all mad here!
I'm the Mad Hatter!
Would you like some tea?
Hey!
*Puts hair back out*
Die!
*Glares at Skulduggery*
Although, his ACTUAL name is Hatter Madigan....
(Looking Glass Wars reference anyone?)
Tea? NO! Only if you add salt, and some orange pepper.
Skulduggery: Don't tell me to die. You're Death. You die.
I'm mad!
Oh, raalaay?
Val, just so you know, I'm probably getting Ivy COMPLETELY wrong. So when I send it to you, feel free to change her as much as you like.
Death, are you happy being kidnapped right now?
You can't tell me to die Mr. Vile! And did you notice I'm glaring at you?
Oh, you're going to post a new chapter soon? YAY!
Salt and orange pepper in your tea? What is WRONG with you?!
Alright...
Deathy, an I join the interrogation? PLEASE?
Yep!
Skulduggery, do you even remember me?
Ember, maybe. I'm writing it now, so...
Sorry, I meant green pepper. DUH.
Sure!
Death, do you want me to be Skul or some other random dude/female?
Kestrel: YES!
Ask Val!
Wait, I have to go. Kestrel, stop the tea from going cold until I get back.
Chapter 3 is up, though, if you haven't read it.
Green pepper is WORSE! At least orange is a cool colour!
Bye!!!
Bye Ember!
*deliberately lets tea get cold*
Bye September!
*shakes head at Kes*
How rude. She asked you to keep it warm, and there's only one intelligent way to do that.
*lights teapot on fire*
Of course. I do apologise.
This'll work just as well-
*throws teapot in volcano*
*Punches Skulduggery in the head*
*Grins*
Skulduggery: *would frown if he could at the fact that Death's fist got caught in his eye socket*
*steals Death's new gun*
Death must have a rather small fist...
Kes, GIMMIE MY RING BACK!!!!!
*Sends shadow knives after her*
*Rips fist out of Skulduggery's head*
Sorry 'bout that... So, do you remember me? I had short brown hair and I always wore a pink dress?
*tosses gun back* Relax, relax.
Skulduggery, she crashed the Bentley at the Requiem Ball.
Skulduggery: I'm aware of the Bentley incident. Val informed me of it when I blamed it on her. Which was completely reasonable, mind you.
Val: *glowers*
*laughs*
Hello.
Did I miss all the fighting?
MOOSE! *hands him a bomb*
Not really....
Death is very likely to start fighting Skulduggery soon.
Stricken sounds weird live....
Yeah... I mean when you had skin... Moments before you died?
*scowls*
It appears that Skulduggery has left me here, because he thought my sulking would ruin his car by giving it a general air of grumpiness he could breathe in and make himself grumpy, and then went I pointed out that he can't actually breathe he drove away, so...
Lovely.
Ivy. *nods and tosses the bomb back to her* Merry Christmas.
I CLAIM THE RIGHT TO USE THAT PHRASE WHILE SPARKY IS ABSENT!
I mean, used it while she was here anyway, but iusynomslienegsi.
Kes, all the Disturbed songs sound weird live. As much as I LOVE Disturbed, David isn't the best live singer.
Just before daddy got to you...
Oh, in that case...
*Kidnaps Val*
Now he'll come back!
*Waits*
Zath, actually I'm listening to a bunch of them, and Ten Thousand Fists sounds fine, Another Way to Die sounds fine, not as good as in studio, but Stricken just sounds weird...
*raises an eyebrow*
Well they vary.
They have performed more than once.
Everyone has preformed more than once!!! Even is murderers!
*gives the bomb back to Moose*
Happy holidays!
Gotta go now.
*leaves as it explodes*
Lol!!! Just saw Robbie Williams's new film clip!!!!!
*Laughs*
*Ties Val up*
Okay, BYE!!!!!
Zath, I realise that...Just the ones I can find on YouTube.
BYe Val!
*has contained the explosion in an air bubble*
See ya, Ivy.
Hang on, Kes, I'll give you a link to something...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1uRn5QGGdo
Awesome! A whole show!
Any time.
Yeah, it is.
They released that disk with the Special Edition of Indestructible.
WHY DID YOU LET MY TEA GET COLD? AND THEN YOU THREW IT IN A VOLCANO!!!
*sips it* hm, the volcano ash added a lovely flavour.
Ah.
It would be so awesome to see them live....
Of course, even if they were to tour here when they come back, I would never be able to go.
*Sigh*
I will be distant... Sims 3 is too addicting!
Hi again Ember!
I poisoned it too!
Hello Death. Did Val get away or is she still tied up?
I love Sims.
WHY DID YOU POISIGEOOERSLHGKIYSJALFKLDJ
*dying*
I know!
They were performing in Sydney earlier!
But my parents wouldn't let me go. *sulks*
Maybe not... Silver, I have some ice cream here... Vanilla... Not poisoned!
Yay! Non-poisoned ice cream! *eats*
Zath, they WERE! evil parents.
I can completely understand why my parents wouldn't let me go, though.
She just left, though she is still tied up! I showed mercy!!!!
*Shudders*
Almost as bad as wearing a pink dress...
Honestly, though, being in a mosh pit would be SO fun!
How can she leave AND be tied up?
I have all the caramel ice cream I want!
*Evil laugh*
I am the best in the world!!!!!!!
She just stood up and left, I was busy attacking the ice cream as well...
Ember, good question!
Zath, I would probably end up getting killed.
YOU'RE FIRST!
(Darn it. MISSED.)
Kessie! You getta dedda!
Oh, first. Hmm....
I dedicate to poisoned ice cream. Because, Ember, that ice cream WAS poisoned. I poisoned it.
Kessie?
That's.... I'm so going to call her that from now on.
But....why.... erisjghlubvkdbkfhwirua
Me? I AM Kessie. Most people call me Kessie...
Ah. Anyway, you poisoned my icecream, so... How many lives do I have? Am I a cat? That would mean I have seven lives left.
Gtg... Bye!!!
Bye Death!
Ember, I dunno. Maybe.
Bye Death.
Bye Death!
Ten Thousand Fists sounds almost exactly like in studio...
I have to go, bye everybody!
Bye Kes!
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