A few other people also won for, like, other categories- including Katie Taylor in the Best Sports Book. I really really really wanted to meet her and she was RIGHT THERE in front of me but then I was called away for a photo, and then there were a few people who wanted napkins signed, and when I looked around again she was gone. Dammit. I always thought she looked so petite on screen, but in person she is physically IMPRESSIVE. Here she is with Cecelia Ahern- one of my top two favourite writer-type-people that I know.
It was a fun night- it always is- but very well behaved and restrained when compared to last year. Ah, last year... what fond, fond memories I have...
My editor Nick came over for it, so we were chatting about the Tanith novella and he reckons it needs only the barest of edits. What does that mean for you guys? It basically means it'll stay at around the 54,000 word mark and I won't have to cut anything out. Apart from, apparently, all those mentions of Tanith in a bikini. I sincerely don't see the problem. It's not like I have her running around nekkid or anything.
Ooh, maybe I should...
Posts
4,925 comments:
1 – 200 of 4925 Newer› Newest»HOLY CRAP I GOT FIRST ON A BLOG POST HI DEREK!!!!
Dang it I wanted to be first!
*nods*
i never do that :/ wow....I lost my dignity there for a few moments
I dedicate this page to pumpkin pie. I had some for breakfast. And I dedicate to Derek because someone haunted me last night and someone broke the Blog AND someone is the best author aka you Derek
Oh well maybe next time
Oh god, Tanith is a bikini....
DEREK DEREK DEREK!
Questions: First, did Skulduggery have a take name before he became a skeleton? Because I know that it is a word that suits him perfectly, but some people(like Fletcher in TFO) seem to take it a reference to his skeleton-nees.
Second, if someone were an Elemental after the Surge, could they get the kind of symbols China had on their body and actually use them?
Third, if the Necromancers had told Lord Vile what the Passage was, would he have done it?
Fourth, does Mr. Bliss have a first name?
I never get first on Blog posts NEVER like very first comment on entire post, I feel accomplished
Zaf, you don't dedicate the first page...
Derek did :P I dont care read past i dont care im not normal
Of course Derek did. He's Derek.
How come the often-nekkid Valkyrie is not a problem and Tanith in a bikini would be?
~scratches head in confusion~
~hopes for Dexter Vex in a bikini~
Um. Yeah. Congratulations on, um, not winning! I've only made my way through the first two Artemis Fowl books so far, so I've got no idea if the final book was any good, but I do know it's a very popular and well-loved series and the final book of such has probably more than earned its fan votes.
Derek, come talk to us!
*shrugs* Derek and few others I recall. Its not usually required but some people do...
Hi Kribu!
Wait, what? Dexter Vex in a bikini?
Aww yes please Derek! I think its just Ameriminions at the moment so you know, you get to talk to those of us across the uhm Atlantic? I suck at geography
Yes, Zaf, Atlantic.
I fear we may have missed Derek :(
I know. It's been around half an hour since he posted...
Whether or not you missed him isn't really the point of him posting a blog post.
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Ok so first like HI!!!!! I'm Kilandra Xyle. I just...um recently decided my taken name and would like to know what type of options there are for disciples besides the obvious Elemental, Symbolist, and Necromancer. I would be really, really happy if you could help me out!!! :)
Hello Sir!
But...
Hi Sir!
Kestrel - if there is Dexter Vex in that novella, and if there are situations requiring bikini wearage, it follows logically that we shall also get Dexter Vex in a bikini, yes?
~is optimistic~
~may be slightly too optimistic, but hey, optimism is a good thing~
I can't really argue with that, I suppose.
Hello Kribu! I'm Kilandra! Nice To meet you.
Hello, Kilandra!
~waves to everyone~
I'm really working, so not actually here...
You may have already dedicated this post (well to be more precice, i know you did) but I dedicate this post to all the butterflies
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Bye Guys gtg.
Bye Kilandra!
Yeah...butterflies...
Adept is another disipline, basically anything like shooting beams out of your eyes, burrowing like Sanguine, bone breaker like Tesseract
Bye Kilandra!!!
*smirks*
i got apple cider
I don't like Apple Cider.
I know but i need more specific type that are not COMPLETELY obvious. Now i'm not here GOOD BYE
Being a warlock?
That's what I told her. She didn't want to be one.
Well, I'm sure there are many branches of magic not in the books that lay untapped.
DEREK DEREK DEREK!!!!! My Mom told me to tell you this: Even though Tanith may look good in a bikini, but doesnt mean she got brains or skills for a family
I have to go, bye!
Zaf, how are bikini-wearing abilities and family-raising abilities connected?
I mean, yeah, maybe she wouldn't do the family thing very well (especially in her current Remnanted form), but just because she's fit and could wear a bikini well doesn't necessarily mean that she lacks brains or skills for other things.
(I actually think no-Remnant!Tanith could have made a great mother some day, if/when she felt ready for that role.)
Bye Kessie!!!
Im not my mom.....:/ go ask her she's got issues im the normal one in the family
People usually aren't their mothers. :D
I just wondered what she meant by it and as you were the one posting it, I thought you might have had some idea.
Nope! I think she means like she might be hawt but that doesnt mean she's a good wife ect per say I would shoot myself before dating Sanguine but maybe Ghastly because even if Ghastly has scars he has the better personlity of the two
I am soo excited for the novella :D
Yeah, I don't think Tanith in her current shape would make a good mother or wife (depending on one's definition of "good" - Sanguine might be happy!), but that's everything to do with the Remnant and nothing to do with her body fitness levels...
Yeah true my Mom kinda strange...eh I know where I get it
Derek you are adorable. x3 And I'm glad you had fun!
I gotta admit....barely any edits? Damn he's getting good
HI PEOPLE!
Wbd - I'm at the swimming pool sitting at the side whilst my brother and sister have swimming lessons (I SAY THIS EVERY WEEK YOU MUST BE USED TO IT BY NOW).
And msd - low phone battery. Um, AGAIN. *scowls*
I'M ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
KOTW shoulda won, but Artemis Fowl is good too (:
Hiya!!!!
There's always book eight.
~Skully
I gotta say this nightmare! Ok so I had this nightmare last night scared me to death.
First I dreamed I was on the Blog and everyone was talking but it'd been over a month since Derek posted so we were like, what happened. Well soon we found out. The day the world was supposed to end he was planning his world domination. Derek attacked with the Munchkin Army to rule the world. As he did become ruler those of us loyal to him were all happy, those who werent.....Lord Vile is my description word. And I got beheaded for my crimes
We used to be mostly Aussiminions, with smatterings of over minions. Now it's exactly the same except mostly Ameriminions instead of Aussiminions
I'd prefer it if there were lots of both Aussiminions AND Ameriminions, rather than the Aussiminions dying out before the Ameriminions started flourishing.
OMG THE TANITH NOVELLA IS GETTING CLOSER EVERYDAY!!
I am seriously getting so so excited for it!!
Now I can't wait to see the cover!!
OH LOL, ZAF. :)
*looks at Luna's comment* *begins singing the song I'm Alive*
There's really bad signal here today . . .
Star its just proof that HC should allow Derek over here! I dont know what else to do. I wrote to HC do I write to the Irish branch? I did the American but I dunno
heys guys :)
Hiya Mel
I'm sad Eoin Colfer won. :(
I'm still annoyzigged at him, plus The Last Guardian was his worst book and KOTW was one of Derek's best. KOTW was the better book of the two. DEREK SHOULD HAVE WON.
Plenty of Engliminions haven't met Derek. Don't get so stresswd over it. :)
Derek should have! But noooo AF won :/ stupid AF KOTW was the best written outta all of Derek's in my opinion
*stressed
I know Star but if you were an Ameriminion well trust me. At least he went to England they dont even try with us :/ they gave us the first three books then said forget it
I was just readin the post, looking at the picture, remembering last year, and BAM! Tanith in a bikini. That caught me off guard.
Derek, I bet you'll win the award next year and the year after...
ARTEMIS FOWL IS /NOT/ STUPID! IT'S AMAZING!
. . . Wow. That one sentence you postsd was enough to make me forgive Eoin for the Techno Crash. :)
EOIN COLFER, IT'S OKAY, I FORGIVE YOU. :)
BUTDEREKSTILLSHOULDHAVEWON.
"What people most want is what they can never, ever have."
Assuming I quoted correctly, that's a quote from The Immortals. ^^^
If you can't have something, you want it a lot more than if you can have it.
Derek do you miss a line for each line in your book?
'ello :)
'ello :)
Mel! *hugs*
How's life?
*hums apprentice theme tune*
Hoya
*hugs* :D
Im good how are you?
hi
*runs in circles*
is anyone there
ok
Apprentice? Omg, that show puts me in hysterics XD
How they're all like: 'Please save me Lord Sugar.'
Then when they get fired they're like: 'I don't even need Lord Sugar.'
Well, Brad, there is Zaf, but she appears to be running around in circles.
You have fun doing that Zaf :)
I'm meh, Mel :)
why are you meh?
question one
when is tanith low novella coming out
question two
what font do u use
question three
will book 9 have a happy ending
the apprentice is great
kotw should have won
hello people
i just went on an amazing trip to an animation workshop and the whole lot of us made one big animation
hello people
i just went on an amazing trip to an animation workshop and the whole lot of us made one big animation
hello people
i just went on an amazing trip to an animation workshop and the whole lot of us made one big animation
Because, Mel, some parts of my day were amazingly bad and some of it, me and my friends were in hysterics, because I showed them my perv face when they were trying to do something serious and then it was just XD
Brad...I can look into the future for those answers, by using the Inner Eye, like Professor Tralawney taught me...
1. Never. Derek will sit on his spinney chair watching us suffer without it, grinning evily.
2. The font is called: Golden God.
3. No, because Derek wants us to suffer and die and die again and suffer a bit more and then die and he will look upon us grinning evilly and laughing manically.
Triple comment, Chloe XD
Was in an annimation of cheese? It should of been. Cheese is great.
I know, -_- my computer is spazed up
no it wasnt
we had to draw and cut out anything that flies or any random thing, i did a witch
thanks:)
Derek likes to watch our suffering xD
we had to wax rub the shapes onto 25 pieces of a3, moving it slightly each time, cos the 25 slides would only last a secong the guy looped the vid
can he watch us
HOME NOW!!!!!
In the car, my bro and sis, who had a packet of sweets each, were randomly being really nice and giving me a sweet or two each. Which was really nice of them. :) BUT MY BROTHER HAD SKITTLES. LOL. HE GAVE ME THREE SKITTLES AND I WAS JUST SITTING THERE LAUGHING.
Then ny sister said, "Why are you laughing?"
And I was like, :/ "Um, it doesn't matter."
And she was like, "You have to tell me! I gave you a wine gum!"
I just kept silent . . . :/
hi star!
LOL, IENI!!!!
leni... can you be my friend
Staaaaaaaaaaar!!!!! *violently tacklehuggles* I apologise, if any bones are broken, now.
So, Star, could you taste the rainbow?
my daddy and sis have gone to the chippie
hows every 1?
xD
I've been here an hour. But I disappeared for quite a while in the middle of it coz we were driving home.
HI CHLOE!
HI IENI!
HI BRAD!
HI MELICA!
HI ANYONE ELSE WHO ARRIVED IN MY ABSENCE!
HEYYYYYYYY
HI!
*Raises eyebrows* Which bit was lol?
Excellent, Chloe. I'm pretty sure we only go to the chippie on holiday.
Agh, I want to be able to raise one stupid eyebrow and I can't and it's NOT FAIR!
I can raise one of my eyebrows :)
i havent had fish and chips in... ages
@Ieni: *is lolling* Um . . .
hi
I eat a chippy like every week or two, but I think its just because my mum and dad can... I dont like fish though... that seems so steriotypical :D
YAY TANITH NOVELLA!
i love cod fish
Ikr Tanith Novella
i love fish esepessicaly cod
sorry for spelling mistake
ANSWERS NUMBER THREE, MOSTLYYYYY. BUT ANSWER ONE AND TWO WERE FUNNY AS WELL.
I can sort of raise one eyebrow ish.
Sev! Hey! *hugs*
I smell dinner. It smells nice :)
*Follows nose to kitchen to inspect...*
...
BACK!
I'm writing all hyper for some reason. Why am I doing that?
I think it's the music. Yep, it is.
The music is hyper drugging me.
So last night my brother was laughing hysterically and he fell over so I got out the red oven mitt and pretended to be Serpine. Every time I pointed at him he laughed some more, so it totally worked.
Ieni! *hugs back*
today at the workshop i bought a skull necklace
We don't have fish and chips that lftwn anymore. :(
The fish and chip shop in the next village does really nice fish and chips.
*often
there is 6 chippys within a 2 mile radius from me...
HI SEVPIE! *laughs*
*snakes between people and spiessss on them*
I rarely have fish and chips
i have chicken everyday though....
I'm pretty sure there's loads of chippies around me. There's the one there, there, there, there...*lists them all*....there, and there :)
Haha, Sev, that's awesome!
That's great, Chloe :)
SPD! Hi! *hugs*
I, have never ever ever had chicken in my entire life, Chloe ;P
*hugs back*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUEs_dv0mp8
Im totally gonna get all my christmas presents from here!
Best song ever ... :D
Fish and chips
Derek, I've got questions for you!
1. What's your favourite episode of Doctor Who?
2. Is it weird to you that I own a Derek-lizard?
3. Have you gotten my letter yet? It had lots of drawings and stuff in it. I sent it in DECEMBER.
4. Have you decided if I can be your best friend yet? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?
5. Did Gordon have crazy fan girls when he was alive?
6. Can you write up the short story
Gordon wrote about Tanith?
7. Do I scare you yet?
8. Can I be an assassin for the Munchkin Army?
9. Will you come to America for book nine? PLEASE DEREK PLEASE
10. What's your favourite colour (I have to ask...)?
11. What's the best thing a fan has done for you?
12. Can you mention Ivy Animosity in one of the books? Pleeeease? Just mention her or something?
13. Do you stalk the comments?
14. Are you sure you didn't pursue your plan to be a ninja?
15. Am I awesome?
Melica, the giant Disney princesses are the most terrifying thing ever.
I'M GOING TO GO SEE WRECK-IT RALPH TODAY!!!
I love movies that are meant for little kids.
That song annoys me but i always sing along
yeah but there is star wars toys in there and they song is so catchy...
*the
I g2g - dinner.
Byebye:(
byi Leni
Bye Ieni!
Oh, I just remembered I'm going to a Harry Potter marathon party! Yesssssss...
*victory dance*
I JUST WENT TO MAKE MYSELF BEANS ON TOAST AND BEFORE I WENT I BALANCED MY PHONE ON MY SISTER'S HEAD AND TOLD HER BOT TO MOVE. WHEN I CAME BACK WITH MY BEANS ON TOAST IT WAS STILL BALANCED ON HER HEAD. WOW.
brb after food
Bye Chloe!
Your sister is good at balancing, Star.
bye leni
MIKE WISOWSKI!
Good bye Ieni
Oh, and Derek... I NEED TO MEET UP WITH YOU IN IRELAND
Zaf- well done for first post! erm.. yayy! And as for your mon's message.... wow. Okay, she'd officially as weird as you are.
Kestrel- Skulduggery took the name BEFORE he became a skeleton. Ironic, eh? He took it because it was a word he used to describe the criminal goings-on that he investigated- years before it came into common usage.
China's type of tattoos would not work on any other magical discipline. They'd work if drawn on a surface, but not on the body.
As for your third question- who knows...?
And for question 4, Bliss' first name is Mister.
Kribu- It's double standards at work here, it really is. It may have something to do with the fact that every time Val is nekkid it's used as a source of amusement...!
Oh, and Dexter Vex will NOT be in a bikini!
A mankini, on the other hand...
Hiya Howlett!
Brad- I'm not exactly sure what your question means...! As for the other 3 questions-
The novella is out in, um... March? I think?
I used Time Roman when I write, dunno what font it's published in, though.
Book 9 will have an ending. Whether it's happy or not, I can't say!
And now I'm going out! Woop!
I always wonder why we say goodbye to a person who has already left. I mean, it's not like they're reading the goodbye-they've already left.
NO DEREK STAY HERE WITH US WE WANT TO BOMBARD YOU WITH QUESTIONS!!!!
HI DEREK!
Holy crap! Derek!
DEREK. IF YOU COME TO SCOTLAND THEN COME TO GLASGOW, PLEASE :D
I get up for 4 minutes to get a cup of water and when I get back it turns out that I MISSED DEREK?!?
AARRRGGHH
DEREK WE WANT TO STALK YOUR COMMENTS!
Uh... That sounded weird.
Derek just be sure to come back on! AND SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MEETING YOU IN IRELAND, YOU SAID YOU'D BE OKAY WITH IT
im back
i sneaked outta the kitchen
i doubt ill be missed
*mmm fish and chips*
Hoya Derek!!! XD
DEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! HI! :) :) AND BYE! :( :(
Arrgggg!!!
*throws iPhone down in frustration then checks if it's okay*
*has just died from laughter*
my Mom laughed Im not gonna repeat her words but I assure you we both were on the floor laugjing hysterically
Derek, read this and tell me your reaction.
Chapter One
Valkyrie V. frowned. She had been sitting in her room, reading, and suddenly, as if she had blinked, she was here. Wherever 'here' was. There were trees. There were some leaves on the ground. There was a scary looking unicorn sitting in front of her. There was... Wait a second. There was a UNICORN sitting in front of her. It was purple. It was giant. It had red eyes, and shadows swirling around its horn. And it was almost as if there was a rainbow trailing behind it.
Val stared. “What?... WHAT?”
She heard a rustling behind her and whirled around. The bush behind her parted and she had to lunge to the side to avoid being trampled by a second unicorn that had just arrived. It looked like someone had been riding it, from what she had seen. She heard some shouting, a weird horse noise, another shout, and another horse noise. The two unicorns dashed off, kicking up dirt behind them.
Dusting herself off, Val got up slowly, in complete and utter shock of what was happening. She tried to blink her focus back, and could only barely manage to pay attention to anything when she heard a groan beside her.
Val walked over to where the man who had groaned was. She helped him up. “Excuse me, but do you have any idea what...” She trailed off and stared. “DEREK?”
“Yes?” Derek Landy answered.
Val stared.
“Who might you be?”
Val stared.
“Uh... Are you okay?”
Val stared.
He waved his hand in front of her. “Er... Hello?”
She blinked. “So... You're... You're DEREK LANDY?”
“Yes, yes I am,” he said with a smile. “And I'm awesome, but I'm sure you already know that. Who are you?”
“Uh... I'm... I'm...” She couldn't think. Everything was a bit too confusing right now. “Oh, wait, I remember! I'm Valkyrie V., from your Blog! The crazy one who had a party for you!”
It was Derek's turn to look stunned. “Ivy?”
Val nodded, a grin on her face. She thought for a moment. “Wait... Were you just riding a unicorn?”
Derek thought about it for a second, trying to remember. “Yes,” he decided. “Yes I was.”
Val arched an eyebrow. “Impressive.”
“Well, I AM amazing.” After a few moments they both frowned.
“How did we get here?” they asked in unison, taking a slightly more detailed observation of the place. It was some sort of forest, that was for sure. And it was pretty dark, so it was probably night. As for where they were, they hadn't the slightest idea.
“Maybe we're in another dimension,” Val suggested. “You know, like in Kingdom of the Wicked.”
“No, that couldn't have happened,” Derek said, thinking about it. “We would've had to have been near each other if we were to shunt at the same time. Or we'd need to be sent directly by a Dimensional Shunter. And I know I wasn't.”
“Neither was I.”
“Maybe we teleported here, then.”
“But wouldn't we need TWO Teleporters? If we both got sent at the same time, in different spots, that wouldn't be possible with one. We'd need one to send you, and one to send me. There's only one Teleporter left, and he's, well, an idiot.”
“Well done,” Derek nodded. “My brilliant books have taught you well. Is there any other ways you can think of?”
“Not at the moment, no.” Val looked around. “I wonder if there's anyone else here. Maybe we could ask them. Unless they're evil. Then we should hide or something.”
“Or we could fight them.”
“I doubt we have magic or anything.”
“Ah, good point.” The both paused, then grinned. Focusing, the clicked their fingers.
Fire.
They had just generated a spark by clicking their fingers.
“Okay,” Val said, a grin clear on her face, “fighting them is now an option.”
Using their flames as light, they wandered around a little. There had to be SOMEONE around. Wherever they were, there had to be some sort of person for them to talk to.
Val pushed aside some bushes and tried to peer into the dark behind it. Nothing there. She sighed. “Are you finding anything yet?”
“No,” Derek replied, turning away from the bush he was observing, “but that's probably because it's only been about five minutes.”
“Five minutes too long,” Val muttered.
Derek looked at her. “You really have no patience.”
She shrugged. They heard a scream behind them and whirled around.
“Hide!” Val said quickly.
They looked around for a place to hide. In the dark, all they could really see was trees and bushes. Putting out their flames, they started climbing the tree. After a bit of difficulty, they both managed to find a way to keep themselves balanced,
A figure came into view beneath them. It was hard to see, but from what they could gather, the figure looked like a purple octopus. In a forest. Running in a way that would remind someone of the word 'squiggly'.
“The Ninjas!” the octopus thing cried. “The Ninjas are coming! They have the lizard as a hostage! Everybody, RUN!”
There was silence, and nobody ran, because there was no one there to run. The octopus gave an exasperated sigh, then looked directly at Val and Derek.
“I told you, RUN!”
They glanced at each other. There was no use trying to hide if the octopus thing already knew they were there. Moving quickly, Val and Derek began their climb down.
However, they must have been moving a little TOO quickly, because Val lost her grip and slipped out of the tree, hitting every branch on the way down. Groaning, she saw Derek arching an eyebrow at her.
“Wow,” he said. “You must really be a fan of the books.”
“Trust me,” Val told him as her helped her up, “I am.”
Msd, less than 1% battery remaining.
57% left. No, 56%.
Uh, 100% left because my computer is plugged in.
Yay for you. :(
85% left
DEREK!!! My Mom says: I just only am giving you advice. Women like roses and candles. Dont think of Tanith the wrong way
Do any of you peoples have an Instagram?
Happy 49th anniversary of Doctor Who!
come to newcastle
*laughs*
*five fingers to the face*
There isnt even a fan account for Derek. :(
49 YEARS AGO, DR WHO WAS BORN!!
the first words ever spoken by the doctor was -what are you doing here? :D
*claps hands* Well said!
Im currently dying of laughter here. Aaah strange things. See Derek, my mom and I are very much a like.
YAY! DOCTOR WHO ANNIVERSARY!
@ Zafira
thats the same with me and my dad we r so alike its scary! same brains same fashion sense and same sense of humor
Bye guys. It's lunch time.
only 365 till the 50th anniversary!
im counting down the days...:)
byii persephone
I like 49th anniversaries better than 50th ones.
Just weird that way
FOURS SEVPIE! :(
This is odd. I'm almost six pm here. I'm going to rockclimbimg soon.
I'm gonna start writing a book
See mom and i get each other. So when she said that i fell to the floor laughing
im thinking of ideas for part 4 of the rouge (my story on wattpad)
*It's
I have bought a short book bout the mabinogi
thanks derek for answering my questions
its pitch black outside...
Peace out!
Bye!
hands up who likes american idiot !!!!!
im just gonna right a short book...
now
*puts hands up* !
put your hands up if you like the inbetweeners!
Byii SP
*sticks hand violently in the air*
does anyone watch imma celeb?
OHH I DO I DO !
I like Rosmary
first some more questions
one
do you miss lines, cause it look likes that
second
youre best author ever
third
i dont know suprise: I am writing a comic book adaption of kotw that im going to give to u when book 8 comes out
brb gotta do the dishwasher
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