Thursday, December 10, 2009

The second blog entry: I don't do pithy

Bah- the second blog entry and already I’m running out of things to write. I mean, what do people want to read about? My work? My day? My most innermost thoughts? A combination of all three with an amusing sidebar into pithy anecdotes?

I don’t DO pithy, and I’m terrible at anecdotes.

So, fine, my day.

I woke up, then I got up. Ate some apples (apple-eating is my new thing). I let the cats in and they immediately demanded food. They’ve been looking kind of fat lately, so I only gave them half their usual amount, which is still probably too much. I know NOTHING about cats.

This afternoon I bought a few DVDs and some cat food and dog food. I also bought some human food, for the people who live at the bottom of my garden. They can be harsh and vicious if they haven’t eaten, so I hope to appease them with meagre offerings of raw meat, flung from my back doorstep in much the same way as Roy Schneider flung that chow off the back of the boat in Jaws.

One of the DVDs I bought was GI Joe. I bought this because I thought it would be a good idea. It was not. I now hate this movie, for it is awful. It is worse than X-Men 3. It is even worse than Transformers 2. I have not hated a film so much since I saw Van Helsing. Van Helsing was directed by the same man. There are lessons in life I should learn, and yet learn them I do not.

After I watched this film, as punishment for some terrible thing I must have done when I was a small, potato-headed child, I got back to writing, and made the final revisions to Book Four, Dark Days. This one was a lot of fun to do- quite a few bad guys return, and bad guys are always fun to write. Now it’s all ready to be designed and printed, in time for April. I decided to give myself the rest of the night off to celebrate.

And then I remembered this blog, of which I am coming to the end. It is now 2:36 AM as I write this, and to celebrate Dark Days being almost done with, I am now going to bed.

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I always said I was strange... I guess I'm right. YEY!
(And if you're looking for a good movie, try 'Serenity'. Its on the cheap on amazon, under £3, and it can't be as bad as GI-Joe... Honest!
It has ALLOT of good dialog in it.)
-Allanna

Emily Underground said...

I thought Transformers 2 was good... but yes, X-Men 3 did suck. If you ever feel like replying, I was wondering what your favourite bands were? Also, I reccomend reading The Umbrella Academy by Gerard Way. It's one of my favourite comics besides Ultimate X-Men and the Runaways.

mr said...

So THIS is where youve been! Bebo's been awefully quiet with out your awesomeness.
Trasformers 2?! I love that... the 3rd one'll be really bad though, it'll just start to repeat itself. And as for hating Van Helsing! *Shons* But the hate for G.I Joe's understandable.
You seen... ummm.... whasit called...? Uhm, Constantine? Its good.
I have 3 cats if you want them, Gizzy's 13 and thinks hes a kitten, Tyler looks like a tiger and Jackson's quadruple jointed... which is just weird.

Bex...

Rhos Reviews said...

Derek landy, the best blogger there is! Very happy you've 'decided' to create a blog, even though you are being forced to do so with a rather creepy, evil guy with a crossbow.

Jeez...cats!!! I know what you mean. They stare at you, telling you they want food then meow constantly never leaving you alone. Honestly, why do we have cats in our life?

yikes, I thought you had better movie taste then GI Joe! I haven't seen it but the trailer tell me its rubbish. Thank you for telling us it not worth watching. Constantine is quite good if you take Mr's advice.

Anyhow, have a good day with video gaming and writing and the all interesting things you do!!

Rhos!

Mrblah3 said...

Oh some book info. Im trying to think of baddys that return but i can only think of Garrow.

pirate-Jenny-sama said...

You don't like Van Helsing?? My days! Oh well, I can forgive you, because Skulduggery Pleasant is actually amazing. But I'm glad to hear Dark Days is coming along - the cover is immense! My fav yet I do believe. And there’ll be Baddies returning?? Ooh, that sounds great - though I usually tend to end up rooting for the bad guys.

Anonymous said...

I probably should support v.h coz it's got am australian in it but meh it was to bad for even that. About the movies your like my English teacher *gasp* maybe you to can create a club (or an army) and stop bad movies... But I doubt it my English teacher is..*rolls eyes*

Unknown said...

transformers 2 isnt terrible it one of the best films of all time

Anonymous said...

omg, i love skulduggery and you're hilarious! If u want a good horror movie, try the chucky series. funniest/scariest things ever, but faaaantastic. :) my best character in all of the series is scapegrace, pleeeease say he's back in DARK DAYS. cant wait til april comes!!! this is one of the best blogs i've ever read....
p.s. have u heard of the actress jennifer tilly ? she'd be amazing as china sorrows if there's a film.
xxxxx emz

Unknown said...

Derek, you wouldn't happen to be a Death Note fan would you?
If you aren't then I should apologize for my accusation and explain.
Death Note is an anime about a bored genius and a bored shinigami
The reason for my accusation is the shinigami is an apple addict, seriously I'm not joking, and thanks to him I myself have also grown addicted... well not addicted as such.... mearly an Apple lover....
Sorry my comment is so long.... boredom is a curse.....

Anonymous said...

My name is Aggie, and I have people in my garden. They are kinda demented. My neighbors used to have an annoying continuesly barking dog. Now his barking is nonexistent, as is the meat on his bones.

Daisy101 said...

Oh my god Derek. I just read your latest blog and then i remembered I didnt read your second. I have a cat next door and it very annoying. it wont shut its pie hole. I threw an apple at it and i think it might start suffering from coma. i hope that happens. its a very annoying cat.

Darn I just heard it meow. thats bad news. its still alive. It sad realy. My name is different. I am actually Valkyrie101 or whatever my name was. I forgot my password so now my name is Daisy101.

I havnt watched GI Joe but I heard it GOOD. My brothers and dad watched Transformers 2 and said it was GOOD. They also spoiled it for me by saying Optomus Prime died. and then came back to life. I dunno how to spell his name. I am a very bad speller.
I have got a blog called wwww.dereklandyskulduggeryplesent@blogspot.com please visit it.

But I must warn you it is boring.
You are my idol. Thats how I got the idea of doing that blog. And I apologise for the long name. that was the best i could come up with. anyway, I have not seen X-Men 3. I heard it was boring. and thanks a lot for spoling the 4th book for all those people who have read your second entry.

WHO RETURNS?! TELL MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!sorry. DID VALKYRIE GO AFTER SKULDUGGERY AFTER HE GOT DRAGGED INTO THE 'WORMHOLE' WITH THE FACELESS ONES?! TELL MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol. What are your cats names? and ur dogs? and those human beast things that live in your garden? huh?huh?huh?!

lol. I am going to my New Years Eve party now. Just like you celebrated your 4th book being finished! WE ARE COOOOOL!
Bye

Daisy101 said...

oh and by the way Derek. I want to be a director when im older. IF YOU GET ANY OFFERS FOR SKULDUGGERY PLEASENT TO BE A MOVIE. SAY NO!!!!! Cuz i wanna do it. :) understand? are we good? good.

Unknown said...

i completly agree with you about those films being crap. especially GI JOE i think that was the worst film of the year. I think avatar was probally the best film of the year even though the story wasn't too great. I love James cameron for Terminator 2 and Aliens. Congratulations on the new book Derek I wait in eager anticipation.

Unknown said...

Derek if you play video games do you like metal gear solid? im a massive fan.

Unknown said...

hi derick! im sssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo exited . i mean da new book!O.M.G! so cant wait til u let it out. u r realy mean u no, making us wait til april 1st! if it is an april fool, im gonna keep on typin on this compuper and u'll neva get rid o me! ha good by angels wings!!!!!! sooooo. wuu2? i tel u wot u need 2 tel us on this blog, u neeed to tel us that.................................. um........................... oh darn. i cant think now. ooohhhhhhhhhh i no !!!!!! no wait .......................... its gone again. noi its bac! u can tel us about how much u luv us n tel us dat da book is gonna come out earla dan it is. or therell be troublr 4 da angels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!( runnin madly around screamin rofl fofl) by da way rofl = rollin on floor lafin n foflo = fallinb on floor lafin!!!!! lol. S.O.S!!!!!!! HELP!!!!! IM THHINK IM STARTIN 2 TURN NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!! HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH im diein help. hel. he. h. gurgle!!!!!!!!!






IM ALIVE!!!!!!! OH! im not normal after all!!!! YAY. LETS PARTY! ( com n do da conga, com n do da conga .....................) ill see u guys later. i got hom work 2 do. boring. (pullin hair out of head) im gonna die. so , eghem,,, here lies ellis, a favoured person of a life, if that makes sense,,,,,,,,, any whooooooo, she died in vain, doing home work........... blah blah blah . she wil be missed. see later ellis!!!!!! wuhoooooooooooo shes dead!!!!!!!


byby

Anonymous said...

I agree-eth on Van Helsing. 'Twas terrible.
And did you know that reapers only eat apples?
*bricked*
Ok, ok, no more Death Note references.
Bad guys are fun to write, but only if they're written funny. Which we can rely on you to do, especially with creepy crossbow man stalking you...
Diminuit

Stephanie Edgley said...

LESS THAN 20 POSTS???????

And i thought your first blog entry didn't have many!

If you know nothing about cats, why do you have any?

I'm from 2012 by the way.

Octa said...

Pushing this post up to twenty.

For you Derek. I'm doing this for you.

Octa said...

So the 9 comment (now 20) blog was jealous that it had to share its least commented blog post status with this one.

Octa said...

So I'm pushing this up to 30.

Octa said...

A lot of blog posts only have 30 comments.

Octa said...

Why is that?

Octa said...

What's so great about 30?

Octa said...

I just can't say.

Octa said...

Getting close now.

Octa said...

There there.

Octa said...

Your status will be regained.

Octa said...

Boop.

Mary Contrary said...

31.

And I struggle to remember why I'm doing this.


Oh well.

#ChaseForBook9

Octa said...

MINE

Octa said...

MINE

Octa said...

MINE

Octa said...

MINE

Octa said...

MINE

Octa said...

MINE

Octa said...

MINE

Octa said...

MINE

Octa said...

MINE

Noelle said...

Hi Octa! :3

Octa said...

Hello Adra!

Octa said...

*sneak attack*

Octa said...

Why do I even bother?

Octa said...

*

Octa said...

*

Octa said...

*

The Grave of a Coward said...

This blog post has been documented, recorded, and filed into the Blogland Archive on December 8, 2014.