In other news, Molly, your tale of woe concerning the author you have to have brunch with had me laughing. I can't wait to find out how the story ends.
In yet other news, I watched the final Sherlock tonight. Much better than last week's, thank God. A relentless plunge into second-guesses and secret plans. Liked it a LOT.
And in even MORE other news, five minutes ago I crossed the 20,000 word mark on Book 7. I don't think I've ever written this fast before. Looks like I'll have it done on time after all...
And to top it all off, here is some religious humour...
... some existential humour...
... and some cat humour...
Posts
4,696 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 801 – 1000 of 4696 Newer› Newest»IT HAS BEEN SENT!
ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*is jumping up and down excitedly*
MORE!!!! I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!!!
*smiles excitedly* Is it really that good? :D
Man, I haven't enjoyed anything that much since...
SINCE SP!!!
Which is still better. No offence.
BRB.
*shrugs* None taken. SP was my inspiration to write in the first place.
BUT THAT IS STILL SUCH A NICE COMPLIMENT I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY BUT THANK YOU!!!
Should I post it on my blog, then?
CHAPTER FOUR: AN ODD MEETING WITH AUDACIOUS
Ivy woke up with a jolt. She looked around, wondering why the setting had changed, then realised that it had just been a dream.
She couldn’t remember the details, but Ivy knew she had dreamed of her life before she had turned evil, before she had told anyone about her powers. It was an interesting dream, that was for sure. Her family had been there.
Ivy stretched and got out of bed. She went over to her closet, and pulled out a T-shirt and jeans. She had just started to put on a zip-up jacket when she heard a knock on the door.
Ivy froze. Who could be at the door? Was it Saturnine? Did she know where Ivy lived? Ivy doubted it. But still… She didn’t know who could be there. She went over to her window and peeked out. She almost laughed with relief. It was just the mail man.
Ivy put her jacket on the rest of the way, then walked out of her room, and through the house until she got to the front door. She opened it up. “Hello,” Ivy smiled, trying her best to be polite.
“Hi,” the man responded. “I have a letter for an Ivy Animosity. Is she home?”
“Yep,” Ivy said. “You’re speaking to her now.”
“Oh. Well, I was wondering, how come you don’t have a mailbox?”
“I don’t get many letters.”
“Don’t your parents, though?”
“No,” Ivy said, “they don’t. Can I have my letter?”
“Oh. Right. Yeah,” he said, looking though his bag of mail. He handed Ivy an envelope. “Here you go.”
“Thank you,” Ivy said, and was about to shut the door when the man said, “Hold on.”
Ivy blinked, and opened the door, looking at the man sceptically. “Yes?” she asked.
“Well, um, I was wondering…” He glanced at the mail truck, which was parked near the driveway. “Give me a second,” he said, then left her doorstep, heading towards the truck. Ivy watched him for a few seconds, then looked at the letter.
She gasped. It was from Anomaly. How did Anomaly even know where she was? She started to open it, but stopped because the mail man had come back to her door. He had a boy with him, who looked about fourteen, had short brown hair, and was pale. Not as pale as Ivy, of course, but it was still noticeable.
“He wants to talk to you,” the mail man said, then started to walk away, leaving the boy there.
“Hey,” Ivy called after him. He looked back. “Where are you going?”
“He asked me to let him speak with you privately,” the man answered. Ivy arched an eyebrow, then Ivy and the boy watched as he continued to his truck. Once he was inside, the boy turned his attention to her.
“Hello,” he said.
“Um, hi,” Ivy said back.
He stepped past Ivy, and into her house. He sat down on the couch, then looked at Ivy from there.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Ivy said, laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. She could have killed him, but she decided not to, wondering where this was going.
“I’m getting comfortable,” he said. “Are you going to sit down?”
“I suppose I will.” Ivy went over to her favourite chair, which was across from the couch and sat in it, then set the letter down on the small table beside it. “So, you wanted to talk to me?”
“Yes, and I still do. Nice to meet you, Ivy.”
“Well, it’s slightly awkward to meet you, whatever your name is.”
“Oh, how silly of me. I’m Audacious Beguile.”
“Okay then. Well, you already know that I’m Ivy Animosity so there’s no point in introducing myself. Let’s get on with whatever it is that you wanted to talk about, because I think I have things to do at some point today.”
“Of course. I came to ask you about going somewhere with me – a ball.”
Ivy’s eyes widened. “A what?”
YES POST IT ON YOUR BLOG!!!
EVERYONE MUST READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He held his hands out in front of him, and laughed. “Okay, that didn’t come out right. You’re sort of a detective, right? You can figure things out?”
“Yes, but—“
“Can you provide security? Can you fight if you have to?”
“Yes, and I can fight even if I don’t have to. But that doesn’t explain—“
“Excellent. I know what you’re going to say, so I’ll just answer now, because you don’t seem like the person to mess with, am I right? What this has to do with going to a ball is that I have to go to it, but there are people there who don’t like me, and want to kill me.”
“I kind of feel like one of those people,” Ivy muttered.
“That’s lovely. Anyway, I need you to come with me. Normally, I could get someone else, but this is the kind of situation where I can’t.”
“And why is that?”
He hesitated. “Well, um, because you look kind of like us…” Audacious looked like he had something to say, but he couldn’t think of a way to say it without sounding crazy. Ivy read his thoughts.
“You want me to go to a vampire ball?” Ivy asked incredulously. “I didn’t even know vampires existed! How do I know your telling the truth?”
He looked shocked. “I never even said anything! How did you do that?” He didn’t sound scared, but more in awe of how Ivy did that.
“Oh,” she said. “I forgot that I couldn’t tell you about magic…” She trailed off. Audacious was looking at her like she was the coolest person on the planet.
“You’re a Sorcerer? That is so awesome.”
Ivy smiled, not used to having people think that she was cool. It was a nice feeling. “So, back to the whole ‘vampire’ thing. How do I know that you actually are a vampire, and you weren’t lying?”
“Well, I didn’t know you could read minds, so what would be the point of lying to myself?”
“That is true. Fine, I believe you.” She thought for a moment. “Do you think I could pull off being a vampire if I went with you?”
“Hell yeah. Have you seen yourself? You look even more like a vampire than I do.”
“You have a point. If I go, what do I get in return?”
“I’ll pay you.”
“How much?”
“A lot.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“I’ll pay you a decent amount just for going, and I’ll pay you for every person you have to punch. And I assure you, you’ll have to punch a large deal of people.”
Ivy shrugged. “Seems fair to me. When is it?”
“Thursday.”
“What time?”
“Ten o’clock.”
“That’s kind of late, don’t you think? I figured it would be more like eight.”
“Ivy, you’re a teenager. Since when do you care how late something is?”
Ivy laughed. “How am I going to get there?”
“I’ll come and get you around nine-thirty.”
“And will you be in a mail truck?”
He grinned. “No, I’ll be in something better. Well, I guess I’ll be going now.” Audacious stood up and walked to the door.
“Bye,” Ivy said.
“Bye,” Audacious replied. “Oh, and one more thing.”
“Yes?” Ivy said expectantly.
“I don’t think you’ll like it.”
Ivy arched an eyebrow.
“This is a very fancy ball. You’ll need to be fancy too.”
Ivy narrowed her eyes. “Meaning…?”
“Meaning that you have to wear a dress. Not only do you have to wear a dress, but you have to wear a ball gown. Like, the kind that are really fancy and go down to the floor and are pretty. Preferably a dark colour, but you shouldn’t have an issue with that. And you have to do your hair and wear make up and stuff.” He saw the look of dread on Ivy’s face and quickly added, “Don’t worry, I’m paying you to do that as well.” He left, shutting the door behind him.
“This should be interesting,” Ivy said to herself dryly.
She made herself something to eat, and she ate it, then decided to open her letter from Anomaly. It said,
Dear Ivy,
I think that you feel like there’s something about me that’s confusing, yes? I could sense it in your thoughts the other day. Your mind has a lot of hostility going around, you know that?
Anyway, I wanted to know if you would like to come over for a little while today, just to talk things over. Around 4:00? Because I was wondering… Never mind. I’ll tell you if you show up. I hope you do.
Anomaly Despair
Ivy read over the note multiple times, considering what she should do. It was only about noon, so she still had a few hours, if she were going to go. She stuffed the note in her pocket, then got up and walked to her bedroom.
As she sat down in her chair, a thought suddenly struck her.
There’s something wrong with me.
She frowned, then realised why she had thought that. In the last few days, she had noticed that she was quite clearly changing in her personality. Since she had gotten that phone call from Saturnine Bilious, everything was different. She had met Saturnine, who was furious about her having magic, and actually tried to have Ivy killed, something no other person would even dare to do. And when Ivy had met Anomaly, right before she was going to kill her, something seemed to have snapped in her mind. That one word, the simply question Anomaly had asked her with a thought, was changing Ivy from a psychotic assassin to something different. Yes, sure, she was still evil, but she was ever so slightly becoming more… Sane.
And then, just earlier, she agreed to do something – go to a ball, with a vampire – that she wouldn’t have ever done before recently. She normally would have killed Audacious on the spot before he could even ask. But instead she let him come in and talk to her. So what was wrong with her? She wasn’t coming to some huge realisation about how she’s such a terrible person or anything like that, but something just didn’t seem right.
Ivy reflected on herself from a little over a year ago. She had been even less sane than she is now. She had committed the most talked about massacre for quite some time, and she had enjoyed it. She had loved it. She saw it as something to be proud of. Even a few days ago, she had smiled at the thought of her victory.
But now she didn’t see it as a victory. She didn’t even see it as something for her to gain victory from. It was just an act of terrorism, the kind that no one forgets, no matter how hard they tried. Thinking of it now only brought Ivy anger towards herself.
She thought about this, not being able to tell how long she had been thinking about it. She kept becoming angry with herself, then got over it, then became angry again, and got over it again. Ivy sighed and screamed, even though she was the only one around, “What the hell is wrong with me?”
She sat in silence for quite a while longer, not thinking about anything. She started to frown, suddenly remembering Saturnine’s false accusation against her about killing the fat man in Mr Seeker’s building. Saturnine had killed him; she had to have. But then why had she blamed Ivy? Did she want something bad to happen to her, possibly for her to be killed?
Ivy looked at the clock. 3:45 PM. She got up, fixed her hair – simply to look like she hadn’t just been sitting around doing nothing for three hours – and teleported out of the house, and reappeared in Anomaly’s driveway.
I just posted it :)
And I know what's going to happen in Chapter Five already... *grins excitedly*
MAN, DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING HERE VAL!!!
I have to go now; time for bed.
Bye Sparky!!!
And sorry for leaving you hanging! XD
Aw...
Bye Val.
Hey, anyone there?
YES!
Hae Sparky!
HIIII FreakFan!
What you doin'
Writin'.
FreakFan?
Sorry I was reading Val. V's story =) It's so good! I understand why you got so excited before!!!!!!
*scoffs* Of course you were writing!
It's what I do.
Yup. And you're soo good at it!
I'll take that as a complement.
BECAUSE IT WAS!!!
*smiles*
I haven't written much since before though...
Yes it was a compliment *Grins*
So this is gonna be, like, your first proper story? Cool! And you've done heaps and it is amazing!
I love coming onto this blog. There's people from all over the world I'm talking to and all I have to do is sit at the computer =)
*coughs* Hello?
I love that too.
My favourite thought is when Val and me are laughing about something only we know about. And then I think:
'Somewhere, on the opposite side of the planet, someone is laughing with me.'
Fantastic feeling.
I've written other things.
If you look at the second post on my blog there's a story that I've been writing for ages.
Yup. Read that too! I think I'm liking Echo better though! =)
FreakFan?
BRB.
I HAVE ALSO RETURNED!. Sorry for not alerting you before. I was having dinner.
Okay!
Lol. Our time difference isn't by much. I live in New Zealand. And I know you live in Australia because you won that competition! =P
Yes I do!
Brb. Watching a tv programme. I promise I'll brb (I'm watching: Who's line is it anyway!)
But I am still writing in an enthusiastic manner.
*giggles*
FUN!
I LOVE THAT SHOW!!!
Ok. I'm back!
IT IS THE FUNNIEST SHOW EVER!!!!!!!!!!! I was wondering. There used to be an australian show here but now it's not on anymore. Is it still continuing over there? It's called: So You Think You Can Dance: Australia
I have no idea. Sorry, I don't really watch that kind of show.
But I do know someone who competed in the first season!
You do?!
Vanessa.
Well, I used to anyway...
Lol. I'm sorry I have to go now. Chat to ya later!
Llamas and Snails Out =)
Phooey.
THANKS FOR COMPLIMENTING MY STORY, FREAKFAN :D
I'm not really here, Sparky... You didn't see anything... *disappears again*
YES I DID!!!
Nooooooo yooooooooouuuuuu didnnnnnnnnnnnnn't...
YEEEEEEES IIIIIII DIIIIIIIIIID!!!!!!!!
YOU KNOW WHAT VAL!?
YOU. ARE. A. LIAR!!!
Well, yes, maybe you did, but you aren't anymore, unless you want to read the small portion of chapter five, who's name I won't give you.
LAIR? YOU'RE A LIAR!
SHOW ME!!!!!!!
SHOW ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU'RE THE LIAR!
Ivy almost walked straight to the door, but stopped. It could be a trap. She didn’t want to be caught particularly badly, so she decided to check around the outside of the house. She quietly walked around the entire house, then teleported inside, having seen no sign of an ambush from outside.
She reappeared in a bubble of dark blue energy, a bubble that disappeared once she had been inside for a few seconds. She glimpsed around, noticing she was in the living room, saw no one, and wandered into the kitchen, wondering if anyone was there. Once again, it was empty.
Frowning, Ivy stepped out of the kitchen and down the hall. She peeked in the open doorways, as she had done the first time she had come, and tried to open the one closed door. She turned the handle. It was locked. She heard someone behind her, and instantly knew who was there.
“Anomaly,” Ivy said, already turning around.
“Ivy,” Anomaly replied, smiling. “I’m really glad you came.”
“If that’s so,” Ivy said, eyes narrowing, “then how come you made me search your house to even find you?”
“Because if I had just come to the door, you could have been planning to kill me. However, I don’t think you are, because you don’t have the knife in your hand, like you did last time we were in the situation of you turning around to find me standing here.”
“I suppose you’re right. I was scanning your yard for traps before I came in as well.”
“Traps? What kind? The kind where someone jumps out to kill you?”
“Something like that, but that someone would just so happen to be Saturnine Bilious.”
“I see.”
AND NOW I'M GOING TO SLEEP, SO I'LL WRITE MORE AND COME BACK TOMORROW.
NOOOO!!!
THAT ISN'T ENOUGH!
MORE!
NOW!
I DEMAND IT!
YOU WERE THE LIAR FIRST. I DIDN'T POINT OUT THE FACT THAT I LIED ABOUT IT UNTIL AFTER YOU DID!
I'M LEAVING!
BUT I CALLED YOU THE LIAR FIRST!
HELLLOOOOOO!
WHY AM I ALOOOOONE?????????
Lonely, I am so lonely, I have nobody, FOR MY OWNEEEEE!!!!
HELLO?
WELL I'M GOING AND UPDATING MY BLOG.
Updated.
As is Collab Effort.
Echo has 3934 words.
For three days, that's pretty good.
Well, I'm leaving. BYE!!!
Hello??
SHADOW!?
Shadow?
BRB.
Alone...
Bored...
Doing homework...
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://meetthegoldengod.blogspot.com/
http://bubblesforblood.blogspot.com/
^^^ That one's mine! ;) ^^^
Hello.
Shadow if you read this I sent you those stories last night check your email.....
Shadow what parts did you get?
Hey Flame! Check your e-mail!
*nods* do you like them?
All of them except none of theme were called part 1...
That's cos that's the one on collab effort... I don't have a title...
Oh right...
Sits under tree and sighs*
I'm gonna scream If Robin comes on..
Ioo
Ioo
It doesn't matter really... But I can't face her at the minute...
OK... So, when's the next bit of that story comin' out?
I have it saved in my email as a draft, but lot of it got deleted. You got part five?
Think so, is that the bit about you getting burned alive?
Yepppppers.
Do you have any new stuff. Innately formations to reading blood and water yet.. *gulps*
You haven't read it yet!? *arches eyebrow*
Well my new bit won't make sense unless you've read it!
Ummmm.. *steps away from Shadow* funny story....
I had no internet.... for like a month...
So If you want tO email it.
It's on collabarative, I don't have access to my e-mail right now but go find it on there. (I have Millionaire's Shortbread!)
What? Ha. Have to music in a while, so I might have to leave soon.
I've already done my homework and practice. !0 mins of practice everyday for...
Flute
Piccolo
Tenor Saxophone
Baritone Saxophone
Piano
Um
That's a lot of instruments. I play as follows.
Tin whistle.
Recorder.
Piano.
Guitar.
You here?
Yeah, sorry. Tin whistle... classy!
I'm grade 6 on Baritone, piano and Piccolo and 7 on Flute and Tenor. I've played since I was 4!
I'm Grade Four Trombone.
*jelous*
Wait. Someones banging on my front door.
*glowers at Shadow*
Your post on Collab is acceptable.
Just.
*lies down on ground and smiles at the sun*
It is a grand day, uh?
Now Sparky? *cough*
Stop that. *shakes finger*
*continues Smiling at sun*
Hey Sparky! Didn't you read the big red letters? And my friends grade 4 trombone too!
*stomps on Flame's face*
I don't need your preaching.
Shadow, I did say acceptable. Which means I won't do anything but glower.
*fixes face*
You will see Satan, if you keep sinning like that.. *gleams and mutters something about religion*
*continues taking in nature*
Flame get up or I'll drop my Barry Sax on you and it ways loads, it would probably break your ribs.
I'm not Christian.
*gives shadow the cold shoulder*
It is so beautiful...
*shrugs*
Satan can accept anyone..
Shadow, there's something wrong with him.
*picks up daisy and sighs*
It's all so beautiful.
*picks up Rose*
Reminds me of love. *drops it*
*looks up at birds* how come phoenixes don't fly here anymore?
I'm Catholic, but still - Flame get up or I'll send you to the Diabolus myself.
WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT YOU FREAKY HIPPY!!!!!!!!
You know why phoenix's don't fly here any more you soppy sod.
Harsh.
*gets up and preaches more*
Happy? *twirls around happy that the world is the world*
No I don't. Do I?
Nope.
*holds up hand to sparky.*
Peace man.
Freak.
*cries*
Brb.
*grabs Flame by shoulders and shakes* Snap out of it because I have to hear one more sentence laced with happiness and rainbows I'm gonna coat you in cobwebs and stretch you on a wrack! Understand?
(Wrack: Tudor torture instrument that pulled the limbs of the victim until their joints popped eventually came off)
I second Shadow.
Gotta go.
Bye Sparky! *hugs* Get some breakfast!
Bye shadow.
*steps out if Nixes shell*
Sees Astrous flying.
Who missed me?
Astrous- my pet Phoenix.
Why you saying bye to me? Are you leaving? And... Read what I said about you and the hippy crap!
I only do that to annoy sparky. And I have to go now.
*sigh* Bye...
I guess I'm going to!
Ego licentia vos iam meus socius Minions. Ego vires reverto laxus vae Ego may non...
I LOVE Latin class! I just LOVE it!
Dulce et decorum est. Patrio et mori.
Dulce et decorum est. Patrio et mori.
Anyone on???
Someone please be on!!! I don't like being alone!!
...... * looks around blogland*
No one.....
At least I get first...
FIRST!!!!
I dedicate this page to...
1) Derek Landy, well Duh! Especially his amazing CATS!!!!!
2) Miranda Hart, who's comedy genius keeps me laughing while I type this!
3) To Fletchyrie, it is better than Valduggery by miles!!! And more morally correct!! I think that's it!
Ive got to leave... If anyone's on to care...
HEYA
Looks like no one is here
Hmm well I suppose I'll continue listening to Taylor Swift. She is the best. The very best.
*crying pathetically at Taylor Swift song* Beautiful.
Well, I'm off
http://rsnowscar.blogspot.com/
Oppurtune advertising xD
Byee
Oppurtune advertising xD
Byee
Heelllo Blogland!
Oh.
Man, it's quiet...
...
All alone...
I WILL NOT BE WRITING AT ALL TODAY!!!!
Hello.
Flame.
Ah. *lies down on ground and looks at the moon and Venus alined* spectacular.
Jk.
Hey sparky how are you? I'm good.
Spent the last hour at my schools open night. Me and my friend pretended to be going into school. Ha we are first years and we knew all this stuff. The teachers are so dopey, they didn't recognise us.
Sparky you here.
*raises eyebrow* I haven't been active in the straight jackets...
hm, hm.
*peace signs sparky*
*growls*
I'm serious dude.
AND READ MY STORY!!!
Please.
And I'm more insane than anyone of you. I'm not perfectly sane.
And Ive been getting counselling sO that's proably why I'm acting weird.
What one???
Ah...
I that case...
READ MY STORY.
ECHO!
Oh that one I read it ages ago.
*starts humming Bruno mars' songs in a collaboration*
...
What did you think?
Gotta go.
BYE!!!
Hmm.
I dunno.
Oh sorry that was the gun thingy. Idk. I'm confused.
Conor.Brummell@gmail.com
Send it to me. I'm confused
Um alone. I'm going for a shower. If you come one stay!!!
VAL!!!
I'm going to the beach today!!!
Why am I excited?
Back!! Anyone here?
Lopsy
I'm here.
For about thirty more seconds.
Hey val sparky
Flame, did you get the e-mail I sent you?
Ok. VAl get back on!!
Because I don't think I'll be sending you another one.
Ever.
No, didnt check, wana become an admin on collab? Cos I can't manage wit everyone. Who's miles knox?
Why?
Okay, I guess.
Ok. Why never send me one?
I'M BACK ON, OKAY!
*puts on super hero cape* TODAY I GOT HURT AGAIN! I AM SUPER INJURY MAGNET!
Why what happened?
BYE!!!
BYE SPARKY!
I smashed my head into a metal bar in orchestra.
Hmmm. That was well clumsy. Are you okay?
Hmmm. That was well clumsy. Are you okay?
*shrugs* My science teacher said I didn't seem to have a concussion, so I guess I'm fine. I mean, yeah, my head hurts, but aside from that I'm okay.
Good. Hmm. I'm so bored lately.
Me too. I usually just write my story when I'm bored, because if I don't, Sparky's gonna freak out...
Sparky freaks alot. Did you get the stories? And I can't be bothered writing anymore..
Part 2 - 5? Yeah, I got those.
Have you read chapters 3 and 4 of my story?
Am the one with ivy. No I got to the part where's the dead guy on the table and anomaly came in. That's all I got..
I can send you the rest so far, if you want it...
Yeah I do I love your writing.
Thanks :)
Well, in that case, I'll send it to you now.
It's sending now...
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