This year is the fiftieth anniversary of Doctor Who. To celebrate, Puffin Books asked eleven different authors to take a Doctor and write a story. When I was asked, I said I'd only do it if I could write for the tenth or eleventh incarnation. Puffin gave me Ten. I was a happy bunny.
It was such a joy to write this character. As you all know, I've been a fan of the show since I was a kid, and David Tennant holds joint top-spot with Matt Smith as my favourite Doctor. In my opinion, it was Tennant's era when the Doctor's love of dialogue really came out— that quick-fire patter that he does so well — and it was an absolute pleasure to channel that.
The Mystery of the Haunted Cottage will be released as an e-book on October 23rd (my birthday! Skulduggery's deathday!) and then it, along with the other stories, will be collected into a PHYSICAL book which will be out near the end of November.
There will be a video released in a week or two where I talk more about it, but in the meantime, here's a link to a snippet (which explains where the somewhat old-fashioned title comes from...)
http://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/interactive/2013/oct/01/doctor-who-mystery-haunted-cottage-derek-landy-extract
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«Oldest ‹Older 3401 – 3600 of 4966 Newer› Newest»(Who was king in 1516? I don't remember. Henry VIII? Or have I got the wrong century?)
#ChaseForBook9
(Who was king in 1516? I don't remember. Henry VIII? Or have I got the wrong century?)
#ChaseForBook9
Well, you DID start making out in front of me, which is an invasion of MY privacy in and of itself. Besides, I've been here before, I paid my bill, and we're all together and happy now.
*sips gin and tonic*
Though, if you insist, I will be happy to remove myself and go on my merry way.
(I think it was either Henry VIII or the first Queen Elizabeth.)
((You should know this Trip you're a Brit!))
(ZafTC is a bit of a wimp, really. No offense, just observing your character.)
#CjaseForBook9
(I'm American and I'm pretty sure I knew that one . . .)
((Henry VIII))
(*punches the air* Yeeeeeah! We solved it!)
((Do you know every president there ever was and when they were in power?))
#ChaseForBook9
(I did, once, but I haven't studied American history in nearly 3 years . . .)
((Oh damn))
*leans against the counter, nestling deeper into her blanket*
((Lighten up Trippy I'm teasing you))
(You know we love you, Trip.)
(Yeah, cause Henry VII died in 1505, so Henry VIII would be in power at that point, but before his injury that made him a total jerk I think?)
#ChaseForBook9
*appears next to Zafira* What he meant to say was that John was too emotional. So was he. I'm decidedly less emotional. My name's Cynthia. It's nice to meet you. And before you ask, it doesn't matter that I'm a girl. I have a perception filter up so everyone except you will still see Niccolò. I'm just a lot more comfortable in my own body, you know? And it's been years since I've had any life of my own. I'll take advantage of it.
#ChaseForBook9
(Yep.)
((No clue))
So... What now?
Beats me.
*hums a tune from Les Mis*
((I may suddenly disappear within the next few minutes. Apologies.))
#ChaseForBook9
*in the time that has passed, Trip has gone up stairs and retrieved the painkilling leaves, and come back down* There you are Adra. I had something else to say, but I've forgotten now.
#ChaseForBook9
Yeah... *rubs her arm* it's been quiet... Here...
I hope you recover soon, Miss Adra. Being shot is no fun.
*takes them* Thank you, you're a saint. *pauses* And take that compliment or I'm going to hit you. *chews on the leaves, the pain ebbing*
((You be back?))
Oh...okay. I-I guess. I feel seriously weird now I don't know all the names he stole no doubt you've suffered so I give sympathy.
Indeed it has. Why is that?
#ChaseForBook9
I myself was shot once, by a Canadian whacked out on cough syrup. Mistook me for a werewolf, poor man, and put a silver bullet through my leg.
*sips gin and tonic*
But I got better.
Mm. Probably not as bad as being electrocuted. Though it did get stuck in my bone, so that'll take a few days
I agree, though. There have been fewer monsters about, lately. Good for the populus, bad for my business.
I really don't know..
Touch. Don't you have any more of that home brews bone syrup?
#ChaseForBook9
I, myself, am mystified.
*stares blankly out the window*
*Youch
#ChaseForBook9
Uh- no, it's just a little nick... Besides, the materials for that is pretty rare, I don't think I'll waste it on something as insignificant as a nicked bone
*hums softly* This is the moment . . . this is the day . . . when I send all my doubts and demons on their way . . . *continues humming*
Well, we know where Zaf and Niccolo are.
#ChaseForBook9
But... Yeah... *puts her head in her hand* it's been slow
Niccolo and Zafira?
*sigh*
I haven't had contact with them for a while now. Not since they teleported me to Hong Kong to retrieve my van.
I don't think they'd appreciate that.. Besides, if she's got him, I doubt they're going to die or anything bad like that. *half shrugs* um... So...
Trip...? Would you mind, uh- getting me something to drink?
That was in Hong Kong? Hmm.
Tell me, Trip, how'd a nice guy like you end up running a bar in this one-horse town?
..this isn't a town?
And yes, Adra, Hong Kong. My van operates on a similar principle as that public transport line in England. What was it called? I don't remember. The Midnight Bus? Or the Late Evening Bus? Or the Between-Dusk-and-Dawn Bus? I just can't recall . . .
(I know, Adra, I just thought one-horse town was a nice turn of phrase.)
I haven't lived in London in a while- sorry...
(Dangit Adra I'm still giggling! Mom walked in and asked what's so funny and I whispered "Osmosis." and now she's giving me weird looks.)
Very funny Annika.
It's a really. Really. Long story.
It's pretty damn funny though, maybe I'll tell you some day.
#ChaseForBook9
I know, Queen of Ships here..
I'd like that, Trip. I'd like that.
*raises glass in a toast*
To funny, painful, awkward, miserable stories.
*drinks*
Which western is that from? I can't remember.
Good one though, that's all I remember.
#ChaswForBook9
*laughs*
That's funny, I can't remember either.
((Oook offcially her msd is in the yes))
*nods knowingly to what Annika said* *falls silent*
Okay, just a sec.
Let me tell you a story. A story of a boy and a girl, space and tumbleweeds, westerns and unicorns. This is the story, of my bar.
*cue Star Wars music*
#ChaseForBook9
*drains glass*
This is gonna be good, I can tell.
*stares raptly at Trip*
*smiles from under her blanket*
*sighs, shifting her weight a little*
*shrugs and stretches* Oh, life was never too bad for me. My brother went insane, and all Niccolò did was put us out of our misery. And I had plenty of time to practice my scream. I'll be great in all the horror pictures now.
#ChaseForBook9
*stirs drink*
The suspense is killing me!
Y'all wanna go on a road trip?
Seriously? *smirks* least he did good for you. Another reason why I like Niccolò. What was your magic and who was your brother?
..no?
*bites her lip*
Depends on the location, Miss Adra. Hell? Not too keen. Disneyland? Of course! Business is booming for monster hunters in Disneyland.
(You guys use comments like a boss...))
(I don't know when I'll have to leave, so I don't want too get into too too deep RP . . .)
(S'up Death! I don't really know what you mean by that, but thanks!)
Hmmm... I dunno... Maybe not..
My brother... I think you've met him. Justin Blue. We're twins, actually. I'm the time traveler.
#ChaseForBook9
(Rose, did you read the fabulous life-or-death struggle I had with Oscar Neurotic and a herd of demon llamas? I even did a spoof of the Raptors in the Kitchen scene from Jurassic Park . . .)
(Justin Blue, by the way, fabulous name. I once knew a fellow named Justin Thyme. He too was a time traveller. Sort of ironic, given his name . . .)
((Uh... Yes.))
Actually, uh.. *rubs her arm* I might... Just... Go--- I don't think you guys are.. Uh... Alive
((Heh Justin))
I have met Justin. And ah I now see how he managed to get us to 1516. Interesting. You know me so I daresay introducing myself is pointless and I bet you know my feelings to Niccolò.
((Hello, Death.))
#ChaseForBook9
Well, that was mean, Miss Adra.
*indignantly stands up*
Just because we're not LIVELY doesn't mean we're DEAD.
(Yes, hello Death!)
Same difference. In any case, Trip's out, so..
Ah, well, such is life . . .
'twas the night before the next day, and the world uttered not a whisper. That's not the original words, but I don't give a troll's whisker. A boy was say down, Trip was his name, and as the time went by, it was more of the same. I'm going to ditch the poem now, because it's just really annoying. Just as Trip grew bored and dull, past rolled a tumbleweed, and rendered that null. Wait, I thought I was ditching the poem thing? So as it went by, this tumbleweed turned the land around it to sand. As Trip looked around, all he did see, was the set of a Wild West movie. A vast desert, stretching for miles, Blogland was gone. Shoot out at high noon began to play as he walked into town, dressed in a cowboy's gown. It was clear from that point he was in a shoot out, and down the road stood his opponent, defiant and stout. They duelled and he won, oh man it was fun. Except for for the other guy. It kind of sucked for him. Trip walked to the bar, and ordered a drink, the glass of water gave a satisfying clink. And then behind him came in, the sheriff in town, Mary Bob Tomkinson, wearing a frown. She put a gun to his head, he was under arrest, unless he wanted his head to be a bullet's head rest. He unbuckled his gun, it fell to the floor. "Take me away." He said, and not a word more. With his hands up, she led him outside, suspicious of if he was the real killer, but all that was gone when they were now in space! The town had gone cyberpunk, laser pistols and all, a bio dome above them, and not a lot more. Soon others arrived Maralie and more, and yet they were all stuck, on the moon's single floor. Many ideas were hatched, portals and tumbleweed genocide, all to get home, but they were stuck, all on their own. But then came along, their hilarious saviour, Jubilance Glee and her extravagant behaviour. On Clementine she rode, not quite all there, saving them from peril, at the end of the road. And as they left Trip looked back, at the town which he so loved, but as they landed he saw a great thing, the town and all on the crest of a hill. He laughed and bought the bar. Soon thanks to Zaf and her bombs, all that was left was the bar and it's bonds. Still nuke proof today steadfast it stands, against the forces of evil, and her many hands...
#ChaseForBook9
I suppose it's time for me to ride off into the sunset now, to use another Western expression. After all, the rest of those werellamas aren't about to slay themselves. Miss Adra, it was a thorough pleasure to drink with you, and also with the absent Trip.
HOLY TRIP!!!!
*smirks* Well, you do make it pretty blatantly obvious. Honestly, you could just confess your undying love and get it over with already. He's hopelessly head over heels for Ari, though, so I don't really know what to tell you.
#ChaseForBook9
*smiles sadly* Yeah.. *waves a goodbye to her* *heads out to the fire, sitting down, dropping the blanket and waiting for the cold to affect her*
*wipes a stray tear*
((Oh my fuck))
*slaps the countertop*
Now THAT was the best story I've heard in a long while, Trip old boy! Better than Anton's tale of how he got that blasted hotel of his!
Anton's in my Friday night poker game, you know, but I'm starting to think I want YOU, good sir, there with us.
(*Little brother walks in and sees me dying of laughter for no apparent reason*
MY FRIENDS ARE SO WEIRD!!
*Rohan runs out of the room quickly and leaves her laughing*))
*goes and sits by Adra, Putting an arm around her*
What's wrong?
#ChaseForBook9
Maybe you more sane names could point the blaring obvious to him, I've learned guys can be rather, moronic so to speak. Niccolò manages to do just that. *shrugs* I'm glad to meet someone sane from his head. Lord knows how many of you there are. I thought after Alastair....may the lord have mercy on you for hearing Alastair constantly.
I don't play poker. Never learned.
#ChaseForBook9
It's nothing- really don't worry about it
*checks watch*
By Jove, I DO have to be getting on, don't I? Oh yes, it would seem so. I'm do back at the Midnight Hotel, or Anton will give my room away. You know how he gets.
*sighs wistfully*
I have to go, Miss Adra, Mr. Castalan. Be excellent to one another, and party on, dudes.
Worrying about nothing is my job. Go on.
#ChaseForBook9
Aye aye, cap'n.
#ChaseFodBook9
(I'm sorry if this is a spoiler for the books, but Anton Shudder is in my poker game, and he's always in my poker game, and he's never not gonna be in my poker game. Besides, that's one sweet hotel he's got. I wonder if there will ever be a situation where I might need to . . . take care of it.)
*wakes to Annkia*
Just- *leans against him* I miss you..
(See you later, y'all.)
(Holy mother duck, Trip. That... Oh my God. My little brother thinks I'm possessed now!!! XD))
(I aim to please Death.)
Sorry...
#ChaseForBook9
No- it isn't your fault or anything.. Like I said- it's stupid.
Oh, he's not the worst of it. Not even close. Some of them don't even talk. They just scream. And if they were in control, they wouldn't play with their food like he does. And I do mean food. I know one would just eat you alive. Most of them aren't like that, though. Also, just because you like him doesn't mean he'll like you back. He already knows how you feel, but that's not going to change how he feels about Aretha. And he knows better than anyone else how she feels about him. But it's not like you can just shake him out of it. That's not how emotions work. You should know, you were married once.
((My sincerest apologies if she hurts or offends you. I did choose her because of her lack of emotion.))
#ChaseForBook9
I hope you are having an excellent appropriate time of day, Blogland.
Hey Rein..
((Goodbye, Precocious.))
#ChaseForBook9
*Sprints in*
HOLY MOTHER DUCK!
I WAS MENTIONED IN SOMETHING!
*jumps when Sir approaches* Hello Sir.
#ChaseForBook9
(Go Duck... I can't breathe now... I'm crying... *Continues dying of laughter*))
Greetings, Trip, Death, Adrasdos, Duck, Cynthia, and any and all others who are currently here.
I was married. Look what happened. *sounds annoyed* I dealt with a lot. You think I enjoy this? You think I enjoy seeing him with....her? She has no god damn love for him! Don't even go there with me. You know he'll take control if you lay a finger on me.
Hey Sharky... *Falls to the ground with silent laughter*
*Points to Duck* I love this guy... *Seriously can't breathe...*
Ah! I'm sorry, all! I thought I was destined to run off into the night, but it turns out I have a bit more time to spare, so allow me to say HELLO!
*nods to him*
Ah, greetings, then, Annika.
Hi Annika
Oh! Hello, Sir Reingington!
And I don't know you, Duck, but I LOVE Ducks of all colors and sizes, rubber or feathers, so I'm pleased to make your aquaintance.
*shakes Duck's wing*
Aha, you thought you'd finally given me the slip, but nooooo I'm always there, right when you think you're safe and will be allowed to converse in peace. Nope! There's Annika, popping her head up in all sorts of affairs.
*scratches her head awkwardly*
Why are you so defensive? I haven't threatened you. And if you hadn't noticed, they're friends. Nic and Ari, I mean. They're not dating or anything. She loves him in a platonic way. And I never said you enjoyed anything. I don't think you enjoy your life all that much right now. I'm just saying, Nic already knows how you feel, and even if he didn't, just because he realizes you love him doesn't mean he'll magically love you back.
#ChaseForBook9
Well hello everyone!!!!
And it's a pleasure to meet you Annika.
*shakes Annika's hand*
Well then, Annika. Hm, I feel I am in a rather mischievous mood, upon this eve, and may try something different...
I must say, I've never met a flaming duck with sunglasses. I consider myself all the wiser for the experience.
*begins fidgeting*
I probably would be dead it Niccolò did not have a heart because someone would have murdered me. *sighs* I'm sorry. I'm just always defensive I'm not comfortable around many of the names I'm sorry. *looks at ground kind of unsure what to say* I don't know what to do to get him to like me usually I can tell but with him.....he's so hard to understand.
Flaming ducks with sunglasses are a rarity in most part of the world but they can be found.
*gets to her feet, walking to a nearby clearing, walking around in circles*
Uh, Adrasdos, are you in some sort of distress?
Yes, this one might do...
They're like dragons, I hear. They're fiery and difficult to find, but when you meet one, you never forget it.
I'm grand..
Adrasdos, I do hope you realize that if someone asks if you are faring well, it is absolutely fine to say "No", correct?
It's not when you don't want others to pry..
*shrugs* I don't think you can just get him to like you. He doesn't have crushes, and it took him 11 years to fall for Aretha. He's not getting over her anytime soon. Unless you, like, erased his memory or something.
#ChaseForBook9
Adrasdos, you could merely have said that it is none of my concern.
You have my deepest apologies, and I shall ask no more.
*raises hands*
I shall keep well out of it, Miss Adra. I will not pry.
Totally I'll try erasing his memory....see how far I get. I probably won't *shrugs* I'm debating whether to let the soliders get me because it'll be nice to get away from misery but I know he'll keep me from doing that.
*nods* Thanks for that, then
I really don't feel like me now... I'm trying to resist the urge to try commenting as someone new, to start over. I'm... Tired of me. Plus, the name was always sort of ironic...
#ChaseForBook9
I'm sorry you feel that way, Fabi. Maybe you could put some pep back in your step by writing some completely different adventures, just featuring the same character, being Fabi? I mean, a fresh start, with a sort of vamped-up Fabi? Fabi 2.0?
Fabeinne, we all have times when we do not feel ourselves. That does not mean that we are NOT ourselves.
*sighs* Oh, don't be so dramatic. You have kids to look out for, and a decent job, and absolutely no reason to blow it all over some guy. Try just living on your own for a while, and in time I'm sure you'll find someone else, anyway.
#ChaseForBook9
((*hugs Fabi* Hun- we aren't going to stop you- whatever makes you feel like yourself, we've got your back))
But if I was someone else, it'd be an act... Not that I'm not already in act in some ways... I mean, I'd be biting all your heads off on a regular basis if I acted just the way that comes naturally...
I don't know...
There are so many levels of reality...
#ChaseForBook9
Yeah well alone hasn't helped. I've been alone a while. Alexis is 14 he died when she was 11. I give up I knew I had no shot in hell. I'm miserable I was happy now I'm not. I wish I knew how to free John from Niccolò I wish there was a way.
Reality is like an onion. There are many, many layers, sometimes we have to delve into these layers when we don't want to, and it almost always makes us cry.
...Annika. Jesus that hurt..
I'm sorry.
[Shrugs]
My taken name is Moss Cryptic, has been for a few weeks now... I didn't want to change it on the blog because
A. Confusion.
B. I've sort of gotten used to being Fabi on the blog... And now it's weird if I am and I'm pretty sure it'd be weird if I wasn't...
I'll probably get over this in a day or so... Sorry about that...
I think I need to go do something productive and brain-consuming... See you.
#ChaseForBook9
Goodbye, Miss Cryptic.
That's a really good analogy, Anni.
#ChaseForBook9
Thank you. I came up with it just there.
Very well. I suppose I shall see you eventually, young mistress Cryptic.
Bye Moss *hugs*
*begins laughing*
*laughs harder, stumbling back to the others*
*loses it, rolling on the ground*
Adra, do you need a sedative?
Bye Cryptic!
Sir, thank you got killing me again with that delightful profile image.
*between giggles* *gasps* S-Sir...*laughs*
It was my absolute pleasure. This is one of my better-appearing photographs.
Ha ha ha! You look absolutely dashing, Sir Reingington, if a bit green around the gills . . .
*laughs, but doesn't make a sound*
I'll be joining you soon, Adra... I'm shaking with laughter right now... And not breathing...
I do LOVE the top hat. It's fabulous!
I can't
I-
I can't even
*Looks from Sir to Duck, grinning evilly. Totally isn't crying irl*
((Celine thought Roarhaven was a person.....))
Quite, Duck. Thank you for your gracious compliment, Ms. Annika.
*curtsies*
My pleasure, Sir, if I may be so bold as to use your first name.
Roh: What are you laughing about now?
Me: *Lies* I... Just... Wrote... Something on.... Flying baboon potatoes...
Roh: Okay... *Runs away to hide from his possessed sister*
Sir is not, in fact, my first name, Ms. Annika, but you may use it regardless.
Ah, the great mystery as to who "got" the first comment of this page...
((She forgot who Mevolent was....dead I died))
I will kill you Sharky... Mark my words...
AND YOU GET TO DEDICATE BECAUSE YOUR TECHNICALLY FIRST!!! XD
*Frowns*
Blast it. I don't suppose anyone shall claim the deleted comment?
((What...? Mevolent is dead...?))
For the iPod users, yeah...
Nope!! I shall never claim it!! XD
((No I died....*dies*))
We may never know what this page is dedicated to. Oh, and, Sir, I just assumed that was your first name, in the vein of people like Bliss, Dusk, and Precocious, whose first names are Mister, Mister, and Doctor, respectively.
I probably would lie, even if it was me...
Well, I won't be claiming the spot . . .
(So... Mevolent is alive...?!))
There are two people here who saw the comment before it was deleted. Me and the poster. I can't tell you who they are though!!! :D
It's okay, you're safe!
Neither shall I..
FINE I'll dedicate ok?
ALRIGHTY!!
Excellent, there is another undesirable situation dodged quite neatly.
And it only took 20 comments
I dedicate this page to Niccolò because the bastard needs common sense. Get over Ari moron she won't love you. Open your eyes. I also ded to whoever got first may you admit it, also to not dying painfully in 1516. Oh lastly to Rose because I love my Aussie.
*lightbulb*
IT'S DAYLIGHT SAVINGS! QUICK, WERE'S MY WATCH! I HAVE TO TRAVEL IN IN ONE HOUR INTO THE FUTURE!
RUN FOR IT, DUCK! YOU CAN DO IT!
I love you too Zaffy!!
Now, seeing as the ded had been written and posted, I can tell you who the top commenter is. Would you like to know?
Er, good luck, then, Duck?
Yes I would Adra was it
*sits down with her tea, crocheting again*
Also, HEAR HEAR!!
Duck, I'm already in the future!! It's overrated... Zombies are coming and one bit me...
Wait wat
*hums a small, light tune, while lazily drifting*
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