This year is the fiftieth anniversary of Doctor Who. To celebrate, Puffin Books asked eleven different authors to take a Doctor and write a story. When I was asked, I said I'd only do it if I could write for the tenth or eleventh incarnation. Puffin gave me Ten. I was a happy bunny.
It was such a joy to write this character. As you all know, I've been a fan of the show since I was a kid, and David Tennant holds joint top-spot with Matt Smith as my favourite Doctor. In my opinion, it was Tennant's era when the Doctor's love of dialogue really came out— that quick-fire patter that he does so well — and it was an absolute pleasure to channel that.
The Mystery of the Haunted Cottage will be released as an e-book on October 23rd (my birthday! Skulduggery's deathday!) and then it, along with the other stories, will be collected into a PHYSICAL book which will be out near the end of November.
There will be a video released in a week or two where I talk more about it, but in the meantime, here's a link to a snippet (which explains where the somewhat old-fashioned title comes from...)
http://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/interactive/2013/oct/01/doctor-who-mystery-haunted-cottage-derek-landy-extract
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☂YAAAAAAAAAAAY!☂
☂☂dances with Mith☂☂
But you still like me the best, don't you?
☂Actually, no. She's lucky: right when she's finished watching TRF, Sherlock 3 will be coming out any minute.☂
Ugh. That's preposterous
☂It's lucky <3☂
(When I have watched season 2 as well, I'll do a blog post about Sherlock! :D)
*kisses Mycroft* Of course I do, my little child. *grins*
*screams* THATS ADORABLE
*scowls and smiles at the same time*
☂Mith, Adra's agreed to be our Moriarty :D☂
☂Mith, you read my mind :D☂
(YAAAAY! Btw, I'll be here for about an hour and a half...)
(I do, Ember? What did I read?^^)
*rose petals fall around them from nowhere*
☂I was wondering when you were going to do that blog post!☂
☂Did you already buy Sherlock his suit? Because, if you have, we can meet up with Morry.☂
(I think he has his suit, yes^^)
Sherlock: *goes away, puts on his suit and comes back*
*sounds worried* I hate talking about that again but… This man… Moriarty… He wouldn't be able to follow us, would he? Sherlock?
Sherlock: I… *hesitates* I don't know… *sounds surprised*
*sparkles fall in a clump on Mycroft's bald spot*
*frowns*
*tries to dust sparkles off his head*
*sparkles get all over his nice new suit*
*sighs*
Mithria, can you help me? I appear to have glitter covering my head.
Theoretically, it is not an impossibility that James would not give up on the idea of following us.
I'm sorry, I was up really late and I'm too tired to look through the comments to check. Did I already post this for feedback?
Z is for Zero, the last of his kind,
who lives in a dream that’s inside of your mind.
Y is for statements like “I don’t know Why.”
or “Why did he do it?” and “Why did he die?”
X is for treasure maps marking the spot
where all this began; with a terrible blot.
W is for Water that laps at the shore
where he was once happy. He’s happy no more.
V is for Villain, with an iron hand,
he tore up his world and infected the land.
U is for Ugly like harpies at night,
and the last time he saw them was when they took flight.
T is for Terror he felt on that day.
There was nothing else for it. So he ran away.
S is for Sanity, where has it gone?
He was lonely and scared, but he got along.
R is for Rat-catchers looking around.
Some nice ones he met pointed him into town.
Q is for Quaint, which is what the town was.
He decided He’d stay for a day, just because.
P is for Perfect, and that was his flaw.
Life had to be perfect, and that was his law.
O is for Odd. He was hurt, he was dying,
but she couldn’t stop screaming and couldn’t stop crying.
N is for Name, and his name was Zero.
He began as a villain and ended a hero.
M is for little Miss left all alone.
She tried to turn back. She tried to go home.
L is for Life that had got up and left,
leaving only a corpse and a woman bereft.
K is for Kiss, which she tried in the end,
but even true love cannot bring back the dead.
J is for Jewel, that shone in the light,
as she slipped away all alone into the night.
I is for Ignorance. I is for Ire.
I is for her. She died in a fire.
H is for Heinous, for that was the crime.
She was far too young and had far too much time.
G is for Gorgeous, for that was her face,
and she wore satin dresses with pink and white lace.
F is for Failure, for that’s what she did,
and maybe why somebody wanted her dead.
E is for Evil, for Zero was that.
He thought she could’ve saved him.
He killed her.
. . . the rat.
D is for Devil and Devil-may-care,
“Try praying,” he says. “‘Cause there’s nobody there.”
C is for Careless, and that’s how we are,
and if we don’t start caring we’ll never get far.
B is for Because, because who knows why.
This tale is a tale to make grown men cry.
and A is for Author who writes down the set,
and you look familiar,
I think
we’ve
met?
((YAYYY Anni))
((Okay hang on I'm booting up my computer))
☂NO M IS FOR MYCROFT☂
☂But this is awesome!☂
☂Hey, Anni and Adra, since you're both on, Anni, do you want to be Moran?☂
*shakes head amused and helps Mycroft*
*sighs* I was afraid you'd say that...
(Who is Moran?)
YES IS WANT TO BE MORAN.
*I
☂AWESOME, ANNI, THANKS!☂
☂Moran is Moriarty's helper. He hasn't shown up in BBC Sherlock AS. OF. YET.☂
((*rolls around*))
Like I said previously, there is no need for you to be scared.
Thank you for removing the glitter, by the way.
*cleans sniper rifle*
Soooooo which one of you is playing Jim?
☂Okay, Adra, Anni is going to be Moran. Now would be a good time for you guys to either find us, the time machine, or do something generally relevant to plot development.☂
☂That almost sounded Mycrofty :D☂
(That should've been in parenthesis, sorry.)
☂Adra is Moriarty.☂
((Sorry my computer is very slow*))
*watches from above, straightening his tie* *lets the letter flutter down to them*
*sighs* You say there is no need to be scared but... I can't help it. As I said some time before, I'm not used to situations like this...
(Okay, I am Sebastian Moran. I am 6 foot 8, blond, scarred, and have a dufflebag containing an array of rifles and our time machine.)
(I like this.)
*sits quietly on the edge of rooftop, assembling and disassembling a sidearm*
*to Moran* Awh, aren't they just adorable. Too bad they have to diiieeee
(I'll be back in two mins!! Stay where you are!)
*grins* Quite right sir, quite right.
*loads gun*
I'll be the one to do it, I trust?
*letter floats down and lands on Mycroft's bald spot*
*sighs*
This had better not be another letter.
*hand touches the envelope*
*turns pale*
Sherlock. He's here.
Get yourself Mithria away from here somehow. Don't bother trying to be clever. They have an aerial view of this area. Find a place you can get out of easily if they enter.
(Back! Hey, that were fast two mins :P)
(Sorry, guys, I can only stay for like half an hour. I'll do my best, though . . .)
*stand up*
Sir. They know we're here.
☂Nice picture, Adra!☂
*looks at Mycroft, shocked* But...
☂It's okay, Anni!☂
*yells*
YOU ARE QUITE RIGHT, SEBASTIAN.
☂No idea why I'm putting Moran and Morry on first-name terms, btw. It just sounds right.☂
*tsks* that was the plan. Shoot at them.
(Did you get the pic from Pinterest? I bet you did.)
*whispers harshly*
Get out NOW.
((This is the most awesome Sherlock roleplay ever!!!! *shrieks* *ghosts* *will be distant, rewatching Scandal in Belgravia*))
#ChaseForBook9
*slides flat on his stomach on the edge of the roof, sniper rifle locked, loaded, and aimed at Mycroft's head. A red laser light plays across his face.*
Your move, Iceman.
☂IKR ARI☂
☂Rewatching ASIB is the most wonderful thing to do, besides watching it for the first time.☂
((Adra: Tumblr, I don't use pintrest))
Seb...
(I love Sherlock so much RPing it is just the coolest thing ever . . . I miss being Moriarty, but Sebastian's fantastic too!!!!)
*sighs*
*closes eyes*
*opens eyes*
I have told you already. I am not a man made of frozen water. That does not make sense.
...Although I suppose Iceman works better than Snowman.
Hmm?
*doesn't look up from scope*
Yes boss?
*sits on the roof, his feet hanging over the side* *raises a megaphone*
HELLO, SWEETS
☂IKR ANNI☂
Mycroft, I can't - *Sherlock takes her hand*
Sherlock: Come. On!
*rolls eyes*
No need for the megaphone, James, I heard you loud and clear.
*closes eyes like he's trying to keep back a headache*
Boss, you have an over-abundance of personality . . .
*to the side, with the megaphone off* If he doesn't cooperate, go for her. *laughs* He's got a heart of ice, but he has one... And she seems to be melting right through it
*to Sebastian* You're telling me.
Sir, Sherlock and Mithria are getting away. Permission to violently fill them with bullets?
☂Adra, that is officially my Mithcroft slogan☂
Quit beating around the bush, you insufferable fool. What do you want from me?
☂I'm going to say he didn't hear the thing about Mith, kay?☂
*sigh*
Understood, sir.
Very well then. *sets it down, opening his arms* Look at this, though! A reunion! You. Me. Time travel. Ah, the nature of the thing. It isn't good for my waist
No, you do not have my permission.
At least your waist isn't like mine.
☂I've decided that he calls Jim and Seb by their first names as a sign of disrespect, but calls Sherlock and Mithria by their first names as a sign of being close to them.☂
*opens his mouth, looking like he's taken aback* Feisty, now aren't we? Was this your darling wife's doing? I should suppose so
*cell phone rings*
Uh, sir, your ex-girlfriend's on the line. Someone name's Mary, or Mandy, or Molly. That girl with the nose?
Sebastian, dear... Shoot them
Also yes, yes, what a wonderful reunion. Tears of joy are streaming down my face, and unicorns, if they exist, are frolicking across sunny fields, celebrating my eternal happiness.
((Question: when you guys get back from your awesome adventure, can I try to be John? I'll probably be awful compared to the rest of you, but... I can try?))
#ChaseForBook9
Yes, sir.
*rolls his eyes* At the worst of times- what is this? We're in god knows what time- is that even possible?
Sherlock: *pulls Mithria away*
*tries to get away from Sherlock but he doesn't let go*
How can you just leave him alone?? What kind of brother are you?
*a gunshot splits the silence*
I was always like this. You just didn't take the time to get to know me.
A real shame. We would've been really lovely chums. Watched a couple of movies every now and them.
Also, please refrain from shooting any of us. I wouldn't want to get blood on our lovely new outfits.
☂ARI I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SUGGEST THAT OMG☂
*laughs* oh, this is good.
((Adra: do it))
*eyes flick to Mithria and Sherlock*
Are you hurt? Have you--
*bullet misses*
*Seb turns furiously red*
I . . . I don't know . . . I don't know how that happened, boss . . .
Oh I doubt that, Mycroft. I've seen you as a kid- so I really, really doubt that
*calls to Seb*
BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T TRAINED IN MONTHS. LOOK AT THE STATE OF YOUR TIE.
☂;P☂
*frowns*
When did you--oh.
(Oooooooh, are we bringing in Kidlock? Does tht make Jim and I childhood friends? Perhaps I helped him kill Carl Powers . . .)
Sherlock: *looks at Mithria* This is not the right time for questions like that.
*pensively* Sebastian, aim for their legs- they can't run then, can they? They'll be stuck, and Mr. Ice over there doesn't have the strength for both of them
☂AWWWW THAT WOULD BE SO ADORABLE IF YOU BOTH KILLED HIM TOGETHER :D☂
☂...oh my god i just said that☂
☂And we're going to, but only at the very end.☂
*looks down at tie and turns a deeper red*
*mumbles* My girlfriend bought it for me . . .
*the tie has little tigers frolicking on it*
You see, the magnificent thing about time travel is- *shouts into the megaphone* I OWN YOU.
*calls to Mithria* It was an order. If anything he is a good brother for following my instructions.
*to Moriarty* I am quite strong, thank you very much.
No! Focus, focus . . .
*breathes steadily*
Alright . . . focus . . .
*aims for Mithria's legs*
((YAY AWESOME THANK YOU!!! It's actually really funny, because I have this friend in real life and we're really really really close, basically Sherlock and John close, so she calls me Jawn and I call her Sherlock half the time. It's really funny. Oh, also, did I mention I have Sherlock's wallpaper in my room?!))
#ChaseForBook9
Do it now
☂AWWWWWW ANNI!☂
Oh, really? How much did you pay?
*winces*
Boss, I can't focus with you shouting in my ear . . .
☂YOU KNOW, ARI, YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THIS BEFOOOOORE xD☂
☂Also, that's so cool 0_0☂
*another gunshot splits the silence*
*yells really loudly at Sherly and Mith*
BOTH OF YOU, GET OUT!
(Mithria, please let yourself get shot I can't lose face in from of my boss . . .)
Not the right time, yes? There will never be a right time, Sherlock Holmes! You'll always hide! What if Moriarty kills Mycroft? Would you even care about it? *is crying*
*screams and falls down as the bullet hits her leg*
☂See, Mithria, Mycroft didn't get to carry you bridal style down the aisle, so he can make it up to you by carrying you bridal style away from a crazed psychopath so you don't die!☂
*exhales in relief*
One down, one to go, boss.
I only pay for valuable items.
That, or steal them
*raises hand*
Is that why you pay me?
Keep. Going. Sebastian.
*looks down sadly*
But he only pays me in chewing gum wrappers . . .
*sighs in exasperation*
*aims rifle*
*slows breathing*
*red laser sight dancing on Sherlock's leg*
*fires*
Because I ate the trident layers. Now continue
((I thought I had mentioned it! But look!! The wall is actually soft, too! All the dark brown spots are fuzzy!))
#ChaseForBook9
*ignores Moriarty*
*sprints towards Mithria*
No, no, no...
*carries her and begins to run*
Sherlock, come with me. We have to find the time travel device.
☂STOP MAKING ME JEALOUS, ARI! D:☂
((Adra: I needs that wall))
*growls* Get after them, Sebastian
*Sherlock leaps out of the way and the bullet hits the wall*
*Seb flushes*
S-sorry boss . . .
☂Ari and Anni, if you say YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE, I will track you down and slap you XD☂
*stand up, shoves gun in duffle bag*
On my way, boss.
YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!
(I need maybe 5 mins, then I'll be back, ok?? I'm so sorry! Please wait for me! Thanks!)
*gets in a random horse carriage*
*throws the passengers out of the car*
DRIVER.
☂Okay, this is where we need to figure out how all four of us find our respective time machines.☂
*Seb expertly slides down the fire escape and pelts after the retreating trio, duffle bag slung over his shoulder. The time machine whirrs inside.*
☂Or rather, all five.☂
☂No prob, Mith!☂
☂☂slaps Anni☂☂
☂I should not have said that XD☂
(We brought it with us, remember?)
((For Christmas, I got her a Sherlock scarf and she gave me a John sweater, and we didn't even plan it that way! It was great!))
#ChaseForBook9
*clasps his hands behind his back and walks across a board on a house, following them from the roof tops*
☂Well, that solved one problem. But generally, Anni, the time machine is supposed to disappear and reappear somewhere in the time once you use it.☂
☂Do you guys have any ideas for where Mycroft's time machine should be?☂
*skids to a halt*
Damn . . . I can't drive a horse and carriage . . .
*sees carriage and unhitches horse, climbing atop it*
Move! Come on, MOVE you little bugger . . .
*horse breaks into a fast trot*
☂ARETHA☂
☂WHY DO YOU GET FRIENDS THAT BUY YOU SHERLOCKY CLOTHES☂
☂WAAAAAAAAAH☂
☂;(☂
(Okay, I'll keep that in mind, Ember. And obviously Mycroft's should be somewhere really big and famous and public so we have to make a big scene in order to get it.)
*driver splutters*
*Mycroft hits him and gets on the horse*
*gallops away*
☂YEAH☂
☂How about, like, in the middle of a stage while a play is going on?☂
*gets on a horse, galloping after the carriage*
*yells to the back seat*
SHERLOCK! TAKE CARE OF MITHRIA. I BROUGHT A FIRST-AID KIT. IT'S IN MY BRIEFCASE.
(What if it's being used as a prop in a play?)
I'm happy, can't you seee?
I'm alright, but I miss you. . .
#ChaseForBook9
((May I suggest the Globe, if we want to be set in the time after it was built?))
#ChaseForBook9
*sighs when he looks behind him and sees Moriarty*
For God's sake.
*goes faster*
☂This is better than a car chase :D☂
Sherlock: *gets the first-aid kit and does his best helping Mithria*
*mumbles* Wish the doctor was here...
☂Anni: YES. Ari: YES.☂
☂Fabi: HAIIIII☂
((Fabi!!! *hugs*))
#ChaseForBook9
Hi-yah!
*slaps horse which gallops faster*
There he is . . . there he is . . . just a little farther . . .
*sees Mycroft galloping ahead of him*
*looks back and sees Jim*
Are you sure you should be doing that, sir?
*makes a mock gesture to his own clothes*
*in Jim's voice* Westwood!
*beats the horse's hing legs with the riding crop and he goes much faster, his black name whipping everywhere* *calls* I SEEEEE YOUUUU
(What if it's being used in the duel at the end of Hamlet in the Globe Theater? As like a table, or a backdrop?)
*gallops towards the Globe*
*I mean the horse*
Mithria, are you alright?
☂What if Moriarty and Seb's machine always ends up where there are no people, and Mycroft and Sherly's machine always ends up where there are lots of people?☂
Unfortunately, Sebastian, sacrifices must be made! *gallops ahead of him, jumping over obstacles* HYAH
(Adra: hi Fabi- I love this, I was at my horseback lessons only like an hour ago so... Coincidental)
*grits her teeth* Almost...
----Sebastian's horse thunders around the corner, Jim's close behind him. Up ahead, they see Mycroft on a magnificent white horse, stampeding through the crowd. The Globe Theater looms above them.-----
*to Moriarty*
AND I DON'T SEE YOU BECAUSE I'M IN FRONT OF YOU.
*arrives at the Globe*
*carries Mithria*
*looks around frantically for the machine*
☂What if Mycroft and Moriarty did a fencing duel instead of the actors, and everybody thought it was part of the act?☂
(Ember, YES. That should be it! Ours is attracted to places with no people, and yours, lots of people. I like it.)
Faster boy, faster! They're heading to the Globe Theater!
Burn it, Sebastian.
Burn the whole thing
☂Hopefully you weren't chasing down a fat politician trying to kill him, Adra XD☂
(Only if Seb and Sherlock can have a duel too!)
(Anni, I'm not good at fighting... I could try but it won't be good, as a warning...)
((Hello... Um... I don't watch Sherlock, so...))
#ChaseForBook9
*skids to a halt outside theater and dismounts*
Urgh . . . this building is huge . . .
*pulls out lighter*
In a town full of hay, wood, and oil . . .
*grins*
☂Okay, that's settled then :)☂
*spots the machine on the stage*
Oh, for Heaven's sakes. Sherlock, get Mithria away from here. I'll meet you backstage later.
☂Anni, do you want to go after Sherly and Mith while Moriarty and Mycroft duel?☂
☂SEE, ANNI, YOU READ MY MIND☂
☂Mith, you can just smash props over Seb's head :D☂
☂So, Fabi, how are you today?☂
(Well, Seb is combat expert, and Jim doesn't like to get his hands dirty. So I suggest I win against Sherlock, and Jim loses to Mycroft.
And Mycroft should duel with his umbrella.)
*laughs* Poor design, this city
((MYCROFT SHOULD DUEL WITH HIS UMBRELLA. YES. I AM LITERALLY JUST SITTING HERE FLAILING UNCONTROLLABLY. I THINK I MIGHT KNOCK SOMETHING OVER. OOPS.))
#ChaseForBook9
*sets small flame beside building*
Damn, that's small. It'll take a while for it to catch the rest ablaze . . .
*darts into theater*
Boss! Where are you!? I'm going after the younger Holmes!
*elbows his way through the crowd*
☂I have plans for Mycroft's duel, don't worry. XD☂
☂Okay. That's alright. Maybe Mith can find some way to help with the S/S duel, though.☂
☂We'll call Mycroft/Moriarty M/M and Sebastian/Sherlock S/S, okay?☂
☂Okay, okay, fine, umbrella duel it is :p☂
*runs up onto the stage*
*barges past the random actors*
*grabs machine*
☂Adra, cue Moriarty!☂
------The theater is packed to the gills with thousands of people, some dressed in brown, some in rich, multi-colored silks. The place smells terrible. On stage, a team of Shakespearian actors are acting out a scene near the end of Hamlet. Sebastian notices a very odd-looking table, but focuses instead on finding Sherlock.----------
Sherlock: *opens a door to a room that isn't in use* *carries Mithria in* Stay here!
I won't run away, promised... *smiles shakily*
((Um... R. Just R. Actually, a lowercase r. Maybe a little V... O... I... Idk.))
#ChaseForBook9
☂Hm. What is with the letter thing, btw? Is it synesthesia?☂
Damn . . . I can't see a thing . . .
*with the skill of a gymnast, he climbs up to the rafters and looks down on the scene below, his sniper rifle uncomfortably heavy on his back*
☂I'LL JUST GET FIRST SO WE ALL DON'T STOP☂
((Adra: yeah I know when my cue is))
*his horse busts through the doors, grabbing a top hat off of some poor lad's hat and leaping up onto the stage, grabbing a flag and wielding it* Hey sugarplum
(Mithria, can you get Sherlock into the rafters with me *grins* I'm a sucker for rafter duels. Plus, there's more of a danger factor.)
☂a flag????☂
*grips umbrella*
Greetings, fruitloops.
☂THIS IS THE BEST HONEYMOON EVER!☂
(Oooh, I'm gonna have some fun with this duel. Mithria, I hope you can keep up with meeeeee *sing-song voice*)
This is tedious, Mycroft. Do me a favor and go out cold already, okay?
☂I don't know how well I'm going to do, actually...☂
(I hope so, Anni... Well, I'll try)
Sherlock: *leaves the room*
((Maybe... Something like that... I don't know...))
#ChaseForBook9
(I'll give you a sec to get up here, Mith, I have to leave just for a quick second . . .)
Tedious? I wasn't the one who stood on top of a rooftop for God knows how long throwing random insults to the wind.
*unscrews umbrella handle*
*pulls out fencing sword*
☂Decided to go with my headcanon instead of the actual umbrella. Sorry about that.☂
(Alright, Mith, I'm ready.)
*rips the flag off, throwing it over his face *still on the horse* and aims the sharp flagpole at his torso to skewer him*
[Duels Laertes on stage]
#ChaseForBook9
Sherlock: *spots Sebastion up in the rafter* *tries to get up there, carrying a sword that he found backstage*
(Ha ha! Hello, Hamlet! I'm such a huge fan! Will you sign my skull?)
☂Why do you get to be on the horse?☂
*gets one of the actors to give him a piggyback ride*
Get a human, James. Horses are overrated.
(I have to leave in half an hour, just for you to know...)
*sees Sherlock climbing up*
Oh . . .
*removes duffle bag and swings it precariously over the crowd*
I see how it is.
((HAMLET IS THE BEST EVER I LOVE YOU))
Adra: *is Laertes*
(It's fine, Mith, so do I.)
(I LOVE YOU TOO JIIIIM and also Adra.
I'm just kidding, I love you too Adra.)
☂Me too.☂
[Stands, setting her glass on the table]
[Cheers for Hamlet]
[Looks ill]
#ChaseForBook9
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