Friday, November 16, 2012

A Bad Review

Hullo there.

This post started out as a quick response to a few comments in the previous entry, but it grew into something a little more detailed. So even though I really have to get back to the Tanith novella, I figured I'd address it here instead.

Kestrel LeStarre (hi Kestrel!) posted an excerpt from a Good Reads review of Book One- a review that wasn't exactly favourable. Every writer gets all kinds of reviews- some good, some great, some bad, some terrible. It's the business. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. I'll deal with this one in stages.

Disappointing. The title/name and the cover illustration really appealed to me, but the book was generic and unbelievable from the start. I suppose some could be forgiven considering that the intended audience appears to be maybe 11 year olds (?), but I personally don't believe that children's books should be low quality just because they are aimed at children.

I can't find fault with this statement. I mean, I don't exactly AGREE with it, and most of you probably don't either, but the reviewer is merely stating that this isn't his cup of proverbial tea. He doesn't think the writing is as good as it should be. I got a few of these responses to the first book and my reaction was to shrug. Fair enough. That's what they think. I can read back over the series and make a note of where and when and how my writing improved- I am a MUCH better writer now than I was back then- but for every negative statement I received, I got hundreds of positive ones from readers who were willing to forgive any first-book-mistakes and simply dive right in, ready to be swept away on a tsunami of, er, awesomeness.

And hey, how can you disagree too harshly with a guy who appreciates Tom's covers like that?

...oh, and saying "I'm a genius" all the time does not make a character full of "dry wit".

This is very true. The fact that he is full of dry wit makes him full of dry wit. Nicely pointed out.

...oh, and being spunky child full of spunk who sprays spunk everywhere does not mean the child is equivalent to an adult. Children can be clever, creative, work in groups, et cetera but having them physically fight adults 1-on-1 strains credulity.

Ah, now here is the only point he's made that I take issue with. Having a spunky child fight an adult one-on-one does NOT strain credulity. Having a spunky child BEAT an adult one-on-one, however, very much does. It took Valkyrie YEARS to be strong enough to hold her own without the use of magic, and even then I don't think she's ever WON. In Death Bringer, when she's fighting Moore in her house without magic, even though she's had a few years of the best combat training in the world, the fact is she's still a 16 year old girl and he's a grown man. And Val doesn't exactly win that fight. She needs help.

I've always had a problem with YA books that show young teenagers beating adults in a physical brawl. They might get lucky, absolutely. A lucky punch can knock anyone out. But most of the adults they go up against are criminals or villains of some description- men and women who KNOW violence. No amount of martial arts in the world will make that a fair fight. Fair fights, in fact, are ridiculously stupid. Why would you EVER get into a fair fight? If you have to fight you need to WIN- and that means you fight on YOUR terms, not his.

Val has adopted this philosophy because this is my philosophy. 

When Val has to fight, she fights. She uses every dirty trick she can. This is the girl, remember, who tore out a creature's throat with her TEETH down in the caves in Death Bringer. Fair fights are for suckers.

...oh, and not all adults are doofuses.

I'm assuming he's referring to Desmond here, who is very much a doofus- though this statement kind of skips over the fact that Skulduggery, Ghastly, China, Tanith, Bliss and most everyone else except Stephanie/Valkyrie is ALSO an adult, so...


Anyway, what was the point in discussing this here? It's not like this is the only bad review I've ever got. There is one in particular that stands out as being SO unbelievably bad that you get the feeling the reviewer has a personal grudge against me- like he was determined to hate every single thing about the book. But I didn't respond to THAT review. Someone like that is really not worth my time. So why this one?

First of all, the reviewer is not being mean. He doesn't like the book, and the review is quite snarky in its own playful way, but there is not one trace of malice in those words. It's just his opinion, and he not only has a right to HAVE that opinion, but he has a right to SHARE it as well. I'll never give a bad review of any book (apart from maybe books by HUGE writers), because I know how hard it is to get published in the first place and the last thing a writer needs is someone else going "you suck." If I don't like a book I'll simply ignore it. I won't say anything at all about it. But that's me, being in the privileged position that I'm in. Any negative opinion of mine can actually damage someone else's success, so it becomes something more than an opinion. But all this reviewer is doing is letting people know that he didn't respond well to Skulduggery Pleasant.

But again- why am I discussing it here?

Some of you like Twilight. That's fine. I don't like it. Twilight is one of those books I feel I can criticise because nothing I say will effect its success. By now it's untouchable. So... some of you like it. All of you probably know at least a few people who love it. Of course you do.

A few years ago, Stephen King criticised Stephanie Meyer for, you know, not being any good. In return, he got an avalanche of angry responses from Twilight fans.

(I refuse to call them Twihards.)

That level of anger and fury and vitriol is not uncommon on the internet. The internet is the HOME of anger and fury and vitriol. It's where those things live. It's where they spawn and fester and grow. But you see it again and again: one person criticises something that a lot of other people love, and here comes the avalanche. And we're standing by, watching it all happen but not involved one way or the other, and we look at the angry people and we think "Wow. You seriously need to get out more."

The few responses from you guys to this Good Reads review have been wonderful. As I'm writing this, Ivy has just posted another response, and it is just as good-spirited as Georgina's and Beau's and Kristine's (thought Kristine's response DID make me think of Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons going "Me fail English? That's unpossible!")

You guys are so passionate about Skulduggery and so supportive of me as a writer, and it's moments like these when I realise yet again how lucky I am to have Minions like you. Warm, intelligent, fiery people who won't even be rude to people they strongly disagree with.

You guys rock.


4,937 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   2801 – 3000 of 4937   Newer›   Newest»
Lewis Ravenscroft / Rhydian Blake said...

Thanks Moss :) can you send that me? Lol I'll make it my profile pic. Just to help my ego :P

Star Inkbright said...

@Rhydian: Oh. :P Well, at least you can not cope together. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

*sees Moss's profile picture* YEs. :) :) He is.

#ChaseForBookNine

Sapphire Iota (S/ Cam) said...

Snow! *squishyhugs*
For some reason the idea of being perfecter than perfect made me giggle :3

Enjoy, Rhy! :D

NO
*ties Star to a passing llama*

YOU'RE NOT LEAVING

MOSS, SNOW, RHY, HELP ME!

Snow said...

*tackles moss* didn't think you'd gt away with that did you?

Lewis Ravenscroft / Rhydian Blake said...

*gets mega ego boost* Lol. One day I'll be worse than Landy.

Lewis Ravenscroft / Rhydian Blake said...

Gtg. Bye!

Snow said...

Bye rhy

Star Inkbright said...

@Rhydian: I don't think that's possible. :P You could come near, though. :) :)

Fours, Rhydian! :(

*KILLS LLAMA*

@Snow: :) :) *hugs* She is, and that's a lovely picture. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

NO, NOT THE LLAMA!!!

Sapphire Iota (S/ Cam) said...

Bye Rhy! Good luck :)

*Agrees with Fabi and Snow completely* (Although, for a sleep-deprived moment, I thought you were calling Fabi a pear)

*Launches herself at Star and tries to drag her back* HOW COULD YOU? IT WAS AN INNOCENT LLAMA!

Snow said...

I think I am gonna start trying to make a new profile picture... but I neew a computer to do it properly, so I'll start tomorrow

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Sent, Rhydian.

[Throws asparagus at Snow]

ACK

Star Inkbright said...

Gtg, fours! D:

Love you all. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

Yep. Fabi is a pear... one sec...

Snow said...

Luv ya too fab

Snow said...

Bye star

Sapphire Iota (S/ Cam) said...

Love you too Wifey :) Enjoy your day.

Okay Snowy :3

*Sneaks up on Moss* *whispers in her ear* Going to sleep? Also, may I call you Fabi-pear?

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

BUT I AM A PEAR

Snow said...

*happily dances around feari*

Snow said...

Feari is you fab, btw

Sapphire Iota (S/ Cam) said...

Finally, a Fabi ship!!!! Fear- Fabi X Pear

I'm laughing way too much right now

Snow said...

SOMEONE MUST WRITE THIS FOR TSB

Sapphire Iota (S/ Cam) said...

YES

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

[laughs]

Whatever! XD

((Sorry it's taking so long between comments. It'd be unfair of me to comment someone's awesomeness more than once. Also sorry this one got cut off at the edge))

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

You're hilarious.

Pear x purple carrot?

Snow said...

No. Pear x Fabi

Sapphire Iota (S/ Cam) said...

No.
Fabi X purple pear.

I think I have to go now :( See you tomorrow! *hugs Fabi* *Hugs Snow*
You both are special, okay? You're my best friends and my blogsisters and I love you.

Snow said...

*hugs saph* dtto, blogsis. Bye

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Right then.

Bye Saph [hugs]

Uh,it's midnight and my eye is starting to hurt, so I'm gonna go as well. Sorry! Bye!

Snow said...

Bye fab*tackles*

Snow said...

Fabi is so gonna kill me for my latest blog post

Star Inkbright said...

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

I'm running out of words...!

Star Inkbright said...

HEy Lantern!!! :) :)

I love these profile pictures of yours. :) :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Thanks. :-)

I hope Deathy's shows up at this resolution... It turned out really cool.

Star Inkbright said...

And - you haven't used Maratasmafetic yet. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

I agree about the coolness. :) :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

We were watching a really good video today . . .

Although, of course, everyone was just like "I don't get it" and "It's so confusing" and "Who's gay and who's not again?"

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

The recommended word count for this assessment is 250-300 words . . .

*casually has over a thousand even after cutting 700 out* *whistles innocently*

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

The black bits are meant to be a magnifying glass, but I ran out of space.

But Maratasmafectic really best describes Mara, and I already did one for her.

Sorry I took so long, for some reason this one wanted to be upside-down.

Star Inkbright said...

@Lantern: I know what you mean. :)

And - urgh. I hate it when pictures decide to be a certain way up. -_-

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Yes, it's a bit inconvenient.

Star Inkbright said...

Ieni IS a ninja aeroplane. :) *smiles*

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

*glares at the extra three or four hundred words that won't seem to disappear*

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

CURSE YOU, BLOGGER.

The colors in this one are all wrong. :-/

Star Inkbright said...

My friend said something, and I didn't quite catch off of it, and I asked her to repeat it, and she got a few words, and then I got it and went "You could find more adventure in a room that most people could find in their entire lives, because your brain is awesome."
And she went "No, my brain is WEIRD."
I told her it was the same thing. XD

(Seriously though, she's rather incredibly awesome like that. O_O)

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

@Lantern: Urgh. -_-

It's still awesome, though. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

*catch all of it

*sighs*

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

It's supposed to be purple and dark purple, though. Not pink and purple.

Meh.

Msd.

Star Inkbright said...

@Lantern: -_- Stupid Blogger.

And - okay. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

@Lantern: :) That's a really appropriate one. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

Everybody's so infatuated
Everybody's so completely sure of what we are
Everybody defames from miles away
But face to face, they haven't got a thing to say
I bleed for this and I bleed for you
Still you look at my face like I'm somebody new
Toy - nobody wants anything I've got
Which is fine, because you're made of everything I'm not

If you're 555, then I'm 666
Well if you're 555, I'm 666
Well if you're 555, I'm SIX SIX SIX
(What's it like to be a heretic?)
If you're 555, I'm SIX SIX SIX
(What's it like to be a heretic?!)

30 seconds, 16, 8, 4
Let me tell you why
I haven't the slightest
I'm teaching your brightest
They're listening, clamouring
All the money in the world can't buy me
Go ahead, lie to me
Tell me again how you're tortured
I wanna know how you followed your orders so well
You're full of shit
You had a dream, but this ain't it

If you're 555, I'm 666
if you're 555, i'm 666
Well if you're 555, I'm 666
if you're 555, i'm 666
If you're 555 then I'm SIX SIX SIX
(What's it like to be a heretic?)
If you're 555 then I'm SIX SIX SIX
(What's it like to be a heretic?)
If you're 555 I'm SIX SIX SIX
(What's it like to be a heretic?)
If you're 555 then I'm SIX SIX SIX
(What's it like to be a HERETIC?)

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

*defamates

*sighs*

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

[Nods]

Star Inkbright said...

How are you? :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

I feel like my head going to fall off. You?

Star Inkbright said...

Aw. :(

I was tapping my water bottle upside down on my tray today, and my friend told me to stop it because it might leak, and I was like it'll be fine, and she said how I was bashing it on the head and hurting it, and I said it'd be fine, and also said - how do you know that's it's head? That's the lid. If its lid is its head, then it has a detachable head. And then I was thinking how odd it would be to have a detachable head like that.

. . . You, however, do not have a detachable head, so it falling off is BAD. D: *hugs*

I think I'm okay. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

No, I don't, do I?

That's...okay.

I'm really running out of ideas. :-/

Star Inkbright said...

@Lantern: They're still fabulous. :) Good luck on thinking of ideas, though.

Ieni just said "doesn't Hunter like to fry people's brains?"
*facepalm*

#CHaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

I like making roses with this brush. :D

...

Oh, I didn't write any adjective. Oops...

Gtg, sorry!

Star Inkbright said...

@Lantern: That's okay. :) The roses can be the adjectives. Give them a promotion. They're probably tired of being nouns. :P
Being a noun is very nice and all, but still . . .
And - :)

Fours! :(

#ChaseForBookNine

Maralie Lily Charm said...

You and I,
We can make it if we try,
You and I,
Oh,
You and I..

Maralie Lily Charm said...

it's really quiet:/

Star Inkbright said...

Sorry! D:

Sort of here, I guess!

#ChaseFOrBookNine

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

I'm here!

Star Inkbright said...

Hey Zaf! :)

YOUR PROFILE PICTURE.

ASDFGHJKL

#ChaseForBookNine

The Grave of a Coward said...

*in a cold, dark room*
*in the middle of nowhere*
*a bold-faced woman is writing in a notebook*

Notebook: I miss you more than I can say.
You were my light, my stars, my happiness.
While you are gone, the stars are empty, vacant, and sightless.
I count the days till I may see you again.
My dearest, my only, my Roger.
Yours undeniably, Aya.

*she puts the pen down*
*and closes the notebook*
*clutching it to her chest*
*it is cold outside*
*but not as cold as she’s beginning to feel*
*she’s pretty*
*but not too pretty*
*and her long black hair is gathered up into her hat*

Woman: *whispers* I miss you, Roger.

The Door: *bangs open*

Colonel: Ms. Karkoroff?

Aya Karkoroff: Hmmm?

Colonel: We have a situation, ma’am. Our base is under threat.


(Hullo, Blogland!)

Star Inkbright said...

Hey, Annika! :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*grins* I like it!

And my one friend is screeching via text as her PWF book arrived I am thinking once Dark Days is here I need to figure out which Iriminion is going to a signing, Em or NJ and send le book to them and then if niether I'll talk to Mary as she's nice to me and I can see if she'll send them not as fan mail as Derek will never sign them. I swear he lost my Sceptre of the Ancients book. I mean I got one anyway!

The Grave of a Coward said...

Aya: This is a high-security military fortress, Colonel. It would take an entire army to threaten us.

Colonel: . . . *softly* Right, ma’am.

Aya: Take care of it, Colonel.

Colonel: *bows stiffly*
*departs*
*to take care of it*

Notebook: *grows hot in Iya’s arms*

Aya: *rips the notebook open*
*as faint black words begin to fade up*
*words penned thousands of miles away*
*by a man with a blood-soaked smile*

Notebook: Aya . . . I . . . miss . . . you . . .
You . . . are . . . my . . . everything . . .
I . . . miss . . . the . . . warmth . . . of . . . your . . . touch . . .

Aya: *remains locked away in her little room*
*hanging on every inky word*
*and unaware of the chaos outside*

Star Inkbright said...

*SCREAMS AT THE STUPIDITY OF THE UNIVERSE*

*IN PARTICULAR, THE PART OF THE UNIVERSE THAT INCLUDES ELECTRONICAL DEVICES*

*IN PARTICULAR, ELECTRONIC DEVICES THAT TRANSFER MUSIC*

*OR SAY THEY TRANSFER MUSIC*

*THEY'RE NOT DOING A VERY GOOD JOB OF IT*

*AND I'M RATHER SICK OF TRYING TO DEAL WITH IT*

#ChaseForBookNine

The Grave of a Coward said...

*soldiers are running in every direction*
*forming groups and mobilizing*
*loaded down with Mortal weapons and Muggle technology*

Colonel: *shouts* What’s happening now!?

Private: *stops running*
*salutes shakily*
I’m not sure, sir. We’ve lost two squadrons already.

Colonel: How? Why? How many troops do they have?

Private: *swallows*
. . . just one, sir.

Star Inkbright said...

*watching, Annika!!! :)*

Muggle. :P

@Zaf: I'M GOING TO A SIGNING IN IRELAND THIS YEAR!

well, my mum said I could

AND I SURE HOPE I CAN BECAUSE I WANT TO MEET PEOPLE.

#ChaseForBookNine

The Grave of a Coward said...

Colonel: *marches through the snow*
*alone*
*the remaining soldiers are holding the fort behind him*
*searchlights are sweeping the sky*
*and ice has climbs up one side of the fortress*
*freezing it into a solid glacier*

Colonel: *is wearing thick, heavy furs against the raging blizzard*
*and approaches a distant figure*
*a figure wearing jeans*
*and a t-shirt with a palindrome on it*

Colonel: I can’t help but notice that you’ve FROZEN HALF MY BASE.

???: . . .

Colonel: Do you know what you’ve done?
I may be a sorcerer, sure, but my men sure as hell aren’t.
They’re asking questions. Questions about how one man can do that to a military base!

???: . . .

Colonel: What the HELL are you staring at?

???: . . .
*gestures to his coat*
Your . . . your coat . . .

Colonel: What?

???: It’s asymmetrical.

Colonel: WHAT?

???: IT’S ASYMMETRICAL!
*begins to shake*
Fix it!
Fix it, NOW!

Colonel: I will not!

???: NOW!

*the ice crumbles and shatters beneath their feet*
*and a shard tears free of the ground*
*slicing through the air*
*and impaling the colonel through the abdomen*

*he expires immediately*

Gary: *approaches the Colonel*
*and adjusts his coat*

Gary: Everyone deserves to die symmetrical.
*flicks a speck of dust off the Colonel’s shoulder*
*and strolls towards the military base*

*the blizzard grows stronger*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

I'm gonna be thinking xD a lot

Star Inkbright said...

*laughs* XD

Gary can be rather awesome. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

The Grave of a Coward said...

*several hours later*

Aya: *scribbling in her notebook*

Door: *swings open*

Gary: *strolls in*

Aya: *looks up*
*gasps*
Who the hell are you!?

Gary: *frowns*
Hold on . . .
What is that you’re holding?

Aya: *looks down at her black notebook*

Gary: *groans*
Damn! He’s not here!
I thought for sure . . . a secluded military base in the middle of Russia . . .

Aya: *stands up, shakily*
*eyes blazing*
*and fire gathers in her fists*
Get out of my room!

The Grave of a Coward said...

Gary: *snatches the notebook from her hand*
I’ll be taking that.
Just to be safe, you understand.

Aya: No!
*tries to grab it back from him*
*her hat falling off in the process*
*letting her hair spill out*
Give me that book!
Roger!

Gary: *sees her clearly*
*stops*
*notebook still clutched in his hand*
Uh . . .

Aya: *tries to tug the notebook from his grip*
What is WRONG with you?

Gary: . . . eep.

Aya: *clicks her fingers*
*a fireball flares in her fist*
*and she slams it into Gary’s chest*

Gary: *shrieks in pain and staggers back*
*relinquishing the notebook*

Aya: *clutches it to her chest*
Ha!

Gary: *presses his hands to his chest*
*steam rises off it with a hiss*
Ahhhhhhhhh . . .
*grimaces in pain*
*then glares viciously at Aya*
Y- . . . Y- . . .
*swallows*
*tries to form words*
You . . .
. . .
. . . BITCH!

The Grave of a Coward said...

*the temperature in the roomdrops 50 degrees*
*and cracks begin to spiderweb up the walls*
*as the water in the pipes freezes and expands*
*and a sheet of ice spreads across the floor like blood*

Aya: *the notebook begins to freeze in her grip*
*and she gasps*
*drops it*
*and watches as the tender leather cracks and splits*
*before crumbling*
*and fusing with the fast-spreading ice*

*and*
*far away*
*a man with white hair and eyes like void jerks awake*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*here just not commenting*

Eer yeah this is kinda hard maybe I'll go off for a bit

The Grave of a Coward said...

Hassle: *gasps in shock*
*furiously rubs his eyes*
*trying to wake himself up*
The . . . the notebooks!
One of the notebooks . . . Aya . . . Aya . . .
Ayayayayayayaya!
*angrily slams a fist into his palm*
Lost it
Lost it
Told you to take CARE of IT
Not write SAPPY
LOVE
SONNETS
to you
BOY-TOY.
RRRRRRAGH!
*buries his face in his hands*
*begins to scratch at his eyes*
Russia
Russia
Cold in Russia
Bet it was the white boy
Bet it was that chartreuse white boy
She sent him
to find the notebook
to find me! Hah!
Clever
Clever
Clever neciey!
RRRRAGH!
Nothing I can do about it now.
*continues thoughtfully scratching his eyes*
Scratchie
Scratchie
Scratchie
I could scratch ‘em out right now.
But then I could watch the pain and h-u-r-t-i-n-g.
Better leave ‘em where they are.
*nods*
*lies down*
*rolls onto his back*
*and looks straight into the face of Oscar Neurotic*
*standing above him*
*holding a knife*

Hassle: *smiles*
Well . . . this is a turn-up.

Star Inkbright said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Grave of a Coward said...

Hassle: How long did it take you?
Ehehehheheheheheh.
To get free from your bonds, I mean.
I THOUGHT
I TIED
them TIGHTLY.
Guess I didn’t.

Oscar: *looks dreadful*
*but there’s a fierce glee in his eyes*
*he holds the knife over Hassle’s throat*
You . . .
*his voice is hoarse*
You’re dead . . . Hassle . . .

Hassle: *smiles*
*his smile is Precocious’s smile*
*and the sight of it shakes Oscar*
Kay.
Kay. Do it.
Kill me.
Scratch out my EYES.

Star Inkbright said...

*feels like Aya, in that I'm hanging on every word and am dead*

#ChaseForBookNine

The Grave of a Coward said...

Hassle: Ehehehehheheheheheheheheheheh.
I like you, Oscarrr.
I like like you.

Oscar: *blood is dripping down his body*
*onto Hassle*

Hassle: How does it feel?
To be soaked in your own filth?

Oscar: *weakly* Don’t.

Hassle: The blood?
*slowly sits up in bed*
The dust?
The dirt?
The grit?

Oscar: DON’T.

Hassle: Innit rough?
Uncomfortable?
Sticky on your skin?
The sort of stickiness no amount of scrubbing is gonna take out.
Grit rubbed deep, deep, deep into your skin, in your hair.
Blood dripping,
soaking into your clothes.
Dust,
grit,
decay.
*shivers theatrically*

Oscar: *his knife hand begins to shake*

Star Inkbright said...

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO!


#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

Saph, can you pleeeaasssee delete that long comment... its annoying when you're on a tablet

The Grave of a Coward said...

Hassle: You have me, at your m-e-r-c-y.

Oscar: *shaking more violently*

Hassle: Doesn’t it just HURT you?
Isn’t it PAINFUL to think about all that filth . . .
And no way to clean it off . . .
No way at all . . .
*smiles pleasantly*

Oscar: . . .

Hassle: . . .

Oscar: . . .

Hassle: . . .

Oscar: *drops the knife*
*and starts violently rubbing his hands all over himself*
GET IT OFF!
GET IT OFF! I CAN’T- I CAN’T-
*hyperventilating*
*about to pass out*

Hassle: *snatches the knife out of midair*
*leaps out of bed*
*and pins Oscar against the wall*

Hassle: Lookatchu . . .
Lookatchu, pathetic miserable OCD that you are.
All messed up
Twisted in the head
Diseased the brain
Crazy, like meeeeeee!
One might even say,
you’re a bit neurotic. Eh?
Ehhehehehehehehheheh.
You think MY girl,
MY girl,
would ever see anything in a LUNA LUNA LUNATIC LIKE YOU?
You’re crazy,
messed up,
obsessive,
neurotic,
and a little bit FREAKY.
PATHETIC.
You had me at your MERCY.
You could’ve been FREE.
And because of a little bit of grit on your clothes,
you let me go?
How many mistakes have you made,
and killers have you let go,
because of a little bit of grit on your clothes?
Eh?
You’re useless.
Can’t do anything right.
Because you’re too
damn
neurotic.
Honestly . . .
*smiles dazzlingly*
I’d say I’m doing my little niece a favor.

Oscar: *weakly* She . . .

Hassle: *tilts his head*
Hmmm?

Oscar: She . . .
*whispers* She told me she loved me.

Hassle: *leans closer*
*whispers breathily in Oscar’s ear*
She lied.

Hassle: *slams the hilt of the knife into Oscar’s forehead*
*and Oscar collapses*
*unconscious*

THE END

Snow said...

Sorry, star. Thats how far out it is. I cant tell you two apart

Star Inkbright said...

*curls up into a ball and cries*

*and then stops crying and sits up and writes this comment and then looks upwards and starts crying again*

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

@Snow: Well, we are married. :P

*goes off to delete comment*

#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

Anni.... noooooooooo. WHY YOU DO THIS?

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Ahhhh, that was fun.)

Star Inkbright said...

@Snow: Because she's evil.

Some people are insane, some people are OCD, some people are Hunter, and some people are evil.

(Because being Hunter is ! enough to warrant a condition all on its own. :P)

#ChaseForBookNine

The Grave of a Coward said...

(*giggles wickedly*
If you think THIS is evil, wait till you find out what goes down when Precocious finally gets there . . .)

Star Inkbright said...

*points to Annika's last comment*

SEE???

EVIL.

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

@Annika: No.

I still have water coming from my eyes.

No.

No.

(Why do you cry out your eyes, anyway? That's stupid. It stops you seeing and gives you headaches. You should cry out of . . . idk. Your fingernails.)

#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

*shakes head* okay, anni, you are jow my evil villain in the stlry challenge my friend and I are doing. Enjoy.

Star Inkbright said...

(Actually, you should cry out of your mouth.

Then you could just swallow the tears after they formed and it would be easy! C:)

#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

*now, *story

Star Inkbright said...

You know how Derek always kills off the Maybury brothers?

(Maybury was the name, wasn't it?)

Because of David(?) Maybury.

I should do that to Annika. :P

Unless the person I was killing off happened to be Italian. Then they would be called Niccolò. XD

#ChaseForBookNine

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I get to be a villain? In a story?
Well, in the words of Clem:
Kewl.)

Snow said...

Hey, star, you need to look at the latest post on a little crazy

The Grave of a Coward said...

(By the way, that whole thing with the Maybury brothers is STILL one of my all-time favorite things about Derek.)

The Grave of a Coward said...

(That and his book dedications. And his author blurbs on cover.)

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

(I can see my comments!

Anyhow

Snow said...

... yes... its the small things that make me smile. Im still asdfhjklowoqmen about the book dedication from LSODM

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

(Anni the LSODM was a joke Adra and I know. See we were Skyped by NJ and Derek talked to us and said: Oh this isn't actually Derek Landy this is his stand in model.

Star Inkbright said...

One of my all-time favourite things about Derek may be this blog post. :P

(It's perfect, seriously.)

(I was crying when I read through it the other day.)

Actually, one of my favourite things about Derek is when he started telling us all about my mum's theory (without, you know, realising it was hers.) My mum has always said that if you act like you're confident, you become confident, and at Leeds Derek was saying that if you act arrogant, you become arrogant, and my mum was so, so pleased at someone backing her up. XD
And also . . .
what he said about being arrogant was rather awesome.
Derek is basically awesome.
For many reasons.
But what I was GOING to go on to say was that yes, that whole thing with the Maybury brothers is ACE. XD XD XD

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

The blurbs and author bios are ace. XD

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

Does anyone else get that feeling where you just want to break something?

Like, you want to pick up your laptop and smash it.

It's rather scary, in a way. Smashing my laptop would be a bad thing.

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

I think I'm in an overly serious mood now.

I blame Anni. :P

So if I act a little off, then um . . . *shrugs*

#ChaseForBookNine

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I my own writing project, Eliot Cross, I never base character off real people, but I have several times named minor characters after people I know.
Usually I names shops, businesses, tombstones, trains, pets, demons, and things of that nature, after people I know.)

The Grave of a Coward said...

(*in)

Snow said...

Omg I just read fabi's comment on my blog post and died.

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I once had to come up with very prim-and-proper names for five very UN-prim-and-proper gentlemen, so I named then after five gentlemen that I know, except with posh surnames. For instance, I know a fellow named Tim M---. I named the character Timothy M. Fitzgerald. Etc.

I enjoy putting easter eggs in my writing.)

Star Inkbright said...

I don't like basing characters off real people.

Although, you could argue that all fictional characters are real, and if you look at it that way, then obviously I base all my characters off real people.

Idk. I was thinking that I didn't base characters off real people, but then I was thinking that I based Hunter off himself, and then I was like "He is a characters, silly . . . :P"

#ChaseForBookNine

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

(I loved Derek coming on. Omg the days he did were ace! I miss talking to him....he was fun to talk to and I remember for Miracle on 34th Street I said to him I had a play and he teased me saying how I'm dramatic enough to get the lead even though I didn't have the lead

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I've NEVER based a character off a real person, unless you count the fact that Precocious and Oscar are like the two separate halves of my personality.
The ACTUAL characters in my writing are never based off real people. I just borrow names sometimes for very minor characters, because it is fun.
They usually get killed, though.
That is also fun.)

Star Inkbright said...

*character

@Annika: *nods nods nods*

Msd.

#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

I am only naming the character anni, not basing itoff of her

Noelle said...

If Fabi is still here, I want to apologize for so abruptly leaving yesterday.
That May or may not be all, I'm not quite sure.

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((Annika Barnosky, I will murder you in your sleep.))

The Grave of a Coward said...

(*flees from Moss*
What did I dooooooooooooo?!)

Star Inkbright said...

I won't murder Annika in her sleep. I will just sit here and cry for no reason and have clashing thoughts and get irritated at people when they've done nothing and think about how much I love/hate her. :P

ADRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. :) :) :) HELLO AGAIN.

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

@Annika: WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!?

#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

Hey fabi XD did you like the fear story? It was a randomly generated one, but meh,



kh, adra, yoy need to right a fear story for TSB

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((It's alright, Adra. You don't need to apologize. [hugs]))

The Grave of a Coward said...

(*barricades the door*
I HAVE NO REGRETS!
*cackles madly*)

Snow said...

Sar, Wht did she doooo?

Star Inkbright said...

@Snow: What did she do?
*utter disbelief*
YOU'RE SERIOUSLY ASKING?

@Annika: Yah. Told you you were evil. XD

#ChaseForBookNine

Noelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Grave of a Coward said...

(One of these days,
I'm going to write something,
and there'll be a torch-weilding mob after me,
I have no doubt.)

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((Annika, how the hell do you do that? Like seriously. You've got these brilliant characters and brilliant scenes and you can manipulate the audience so they either laugh or cry their heads off. And you're brilliant at both. So. Not. Fair.))

((Snow, I thought it was... ... ... ... ...))

((…………........................................))

((...randomly generated.))

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Oh. *sighs*

Star Inkbright said...

@Adra: :(
*whelms the whelms so they get whelmed and so have less time to whelm and so there should be less of an abundance of them near Adra*

*glares stubbornly at Sudoku*

#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

Yup anni.

Star Inkbright said...

Hey Zaf! :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Noelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Grave of a Coward said...

(My goodness, Moss, that was quite the compliment. Thank you so much.
*climbs over the barricade*
*hugs Moss*
*returns to safety*)

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((Okay...see you Adra [hugs]))

((Ooh, torches. I'll have to remember to bring torches.))

((My favorite art app keeps crashing. :-/ ))

Snow said...

Suduku \○/

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I don't really know what to do now . . .)

Snow said...

Anni, you could do a jig. Or tell some horrible yet amazing jokes.

Star Inkbright said...

SUDOKU. :) :)

The 16x16 ones are a MENACE.

@Lantern: :O *hugs :(

Fours, Adra. :/

Torches?

*scribbles it down on my list, next to pickaxes*

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((Hugs Anni and manages not to stab her))

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Hai Star

Star Inkbright said...

I should really go to sleep now . . . :(

Fours!

*might be back*

#ChaseForBookNine

Snow said...

Bye starrrrrrr

The Grave of a Coward said...

(*the curtains rise on the stage*

*does a fantastic jig*
So I changed a light bulb,
then I walked across the street,
then I went into a bar and I realized,
my whole life is a joke!

*ba-dum TISH*

*the curtains drop again*)

Snow said...

Whoever's comment is after this one, their name goes on my hand for the day.

Snow said...

*faceplam* anni... I... I just.... idek anymore

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I guess I'll do some stuff with Doc Precocious.)

*sitting in the lobby of the Midnight Hotel*
*staring at the notebook lying on the end table*
*her stare vacant*
*and blank*
*she hasn't eaten since her dinner with Niccolo*
*and her eyes are a little bit red*
*her cell phone lies atop the notebook*
*and she's waiting*
*for a call*
*from Russia*

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((Bye Star [hugs]))

Snow said...

(Okay, not including myself, lol)

Snow said...

Anni, your name now goes on my hand for the day

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Dinner brb

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Tell me . . .
*winks*
Who are the sexiest animals in the farmyard?

Brown-chick-and-brown-cow.

*ba-dum TISH*

. . .

Brownchickanbrowncow.

. . .

BOW-CHICK-A-BOW-WOW

C'mon, no laughs? None?

Audience Member: Burn in Hell.

*looks sad*)

Snow said...

Anni... I am ashamed to say I laughed at that

The Grave of a Coward said...

*she sits*
*and stares into the fire*

Anton: *comes over to see if she wants anything*

*she doesn't*

Anton: *leaves*

Door: *swings open quietly*

Photo: *cautiously enters the lobby*
*and approaches her*
. . . Hi.

*looks up wearily*

Photo: *sets a basket of muffins on the table beside her*
I brought you a muffin basket.

The Grave of a Coward said...

(What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tune a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

*ba-dum TISH*

Audience: *groans*)

Photo: Has he called yet?

. . . No.

Photo: *sits beside her*
*stares into the fire*

. . .
*looks at him*
How are you doing this?

Photo: Hmm?

How are you not falling apart?

Photo: He was . . . a friend, yes. But my boss, first and foremost. I didn't love him the way you do.

. . .

Photo: Besides, I don't have time to grief.
*slouches dejectedly in his seat*
The company is after my head. So are the police. It's my fault, you know. I've never let anyone through my security web before.
They think I was working with Hassle.

The Grave of a Coward said...

*grieve

Snow said...

*hangs head in shame* laughed there too....

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Why were the Middle Ages often called the Dark Ages?
Because they had so many Knights!

*ba-dum TISH*

Some Guy: *starts throwing rotten fruit*)

Photo: *notices the way she's looking at him*
Precocious, I would never betray Mr. Neurotic. You know that.

*looks away*
I do, yes.

Photo: Do you . . .
*swallows*
Do you hate me for it?

What?

Photo: Do you resent me?
For . . . for screwing up and letting Hassle through.

. . . No, Finish.
Of course I don't resent you for it.

Photo: *nods*
That's good.

And . . . and I should even thank you.
For giving Oscar so many years of your service. He always speaks very highly of you.

Photo: Well . . . well, thank you.

*the ghost of a smile passes across her face*
He also told me you're not actually gay.

Photo: *rolls his eyes*
Please, let's not have THAT conversation again.

*chuckles weakly*

Photo: *chuckles*
*looks back at the phone*
How long can it take?

A trip to Russia?
God knows.
But knowing Gary, I'm sure everything's under control.

Photo: And symmetrical.

And symmetrical.

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Symmetrical.

SYMMETRICAL.

You see that? How your characters have these little quirks and then I start to laugh and then you bring something dark in and I start to cry...

You. Are. Insanely. Brilliant.

And. Evil.

Snow said...

*is too ashamed to talk*

Snow said...

*sighs* I laugh at the worst jokes

Snow said...

*sniff*

The Grave of a Coward said...

Photo: What happens if he's not there?

*doesn't ask for clarification*
*she doesn't need to*
Well, there are only two other notebooks, then.
The one in Hollow Falls,
and the one in New York City.

Photo: That's going to be a problem.
I . . .
*coughs*
I don't want to distress you,
but we really don't know how much time we have left.

Of course . . .
*swallows*

Photo: *looks at her*
. . . Have there been any new pictures?

*bitterly passes him the notebook*
See for yourself.

Photo: *flips open the notebook*
*his expression darkens*
*and his jaw clenches*
*he shuts the book without a word*

*whispers* Gary had better damn well have found Oscar in Russia.

Photo: *nods mutely*

And Hassle, too.
*her fists clench in her lap*
*whispers* I want him dead.
I want him dead more than I wanted Oscar dead.

Photo: *doesn't say anything*
*but grips her shoulder*
*and stares into the fireplace*

Snow said...

Brb

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Oh, this is just ducky.)

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I dedicate to a moose in plaid
an angel in a trench coat
and a hunter in a '67 Chevy Impala

I dedicate to a mad man with a box
the companions who guided him
and the monster who fought him

I dedicate to brilliant detective
to his indispensable blogger
and his greatest enemy

I dedicate this page to Superwholock.)

The Grave of a Coward said...

*the phone buzzes*

*her snaps out like lighting*
*and flips it open*
Gary?

Photo: *eyes widen*
*leans closer to listen in*

*a minute drags by*
*and she slowly lowers the phone*
*flipping it shut*

*weakly* Hollow Falls . . .

Photo: . . . or New York City.

*there is a moment of silence*
*broken only by the crackling of the fire*

Photo: . . . I will go.

No, I will.

Photo: I'll go to New York City, and I will go ALONE.
Oscar wouldn't want you to endanger yourself before you knew if he was even there or not.

No!
You will NOT go alone!
It's bad enough that Gary ran off without me, but I won't have you doing it as well.

Photo: Precocious, I'm going alone.

Finish, you most certainly are not!

*they stare at each other*

Snow said...

Hear Hear!!

Ieni Lorarté-Strider said...

That was an amazing ded, Annika!

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Trip walks into the the bar, dragging his feet. Rain runs down his tangled hair, dripping onto his face, glad to escape the jungle it had unwittingly entered. He hangs up his keys, he never hangs up his keys. No one does, it doesn't make sense.*

#ChaseForBook9

The Grave of a Coward said...

Photo: it's much safer if I go alone.

You'll NEED me there to watch your back.

Photo: I can watch my own back, Precocious. I'm a big boy now. I'm-

-Mr. Get-It-Done, I know, I know.
*beginning to shake*
But . . . I can't just sit here like a useless lump, waiting for the menfolk to sort out the problem.
This isn't something you can just Get Done, Finish, this is Oscar's life.
This is my everything.

Photo: I know. I understand that. Trust me, I will do everything I possibly can to-

Don't go there all by yourself. You'll get yourself killed.

Photo: I won't get myself-

*hugs him*

Photo: *looks a bit put-out*

I've lost Oscar, Finish. I've lost him.
Gary ran off to Russia,
Sir talk sweet, but he doesn't care about me,
and Adra is lost in the wonderful world of Trip.
Nefarian's dead,
Anton's just a landlord,
Hershel died in an air raid,
and Tarot got murdered when I was a child, only to die AGAIN as an echo-stone.
Finish, if I don't have Oscar, you're all I've got left.
Don't
do
anything
stupid.

The Grave of a Coward said...

*talks

Noelle said...

Hello, Trip!

Snow said...

Hey trip

Noelle said...

And Ieni!
Sorry, I go by profile pictures, I hardly ever read names- I mistook you for someone already here, Ieni. Wb

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Oh joy. *sighs* This shall be boring, all evening. Note they came only when one is on.

The Grave of a Coward said...

Photo: *gingerly pats her on the head*
Hey. Hey hey hey.
I'm not going to die.
I'm going to go to the city, blend in, like I do,
*gestures to his spandex and sequins*
and I'll come back right as rain, with the dead body of your uncle and a fine man for you to marry.
Alright?

. . .
*lets him go*
. . . I trust you.

Photo: Good.
*looks relieved*
Now,
you should eat some muffins.

I don't want to eat muffins.

Photo: Muffins are God's gift to humanity. Oscar Wilde said so.
You need to keep eating, and showering, and keeping up your health.
You want to be beautiful for your wedding.

. . .
*whispers* If there is one.

Photo: There WILL be one.
Gary and I haven't been planning it nonstop for two weeks for nothing.

*smiles faintly*
Chartreuse tablecloths.

Photo: Precocious . . . Doctor . . . I swear by chartreuse tablecloths that I will bring Oscar back, alive and well for you.

*smiles*
Thank you.

Photo: Now then.
*plucks a chocolate-chip muffin from the basket*
*holds it out to her*
Have a muffin.

THE END

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

(If Trip weren't poisoned, drenched and not there, he'd find that highly offensive. :P)

*The spotter drags his feet downstairs, kobold poisons can be real buggers, and looks for something decent to drink. He spots lager from the haze that clouds his vision. What was he, five? Vodka. What was he, an alcoholic? Maybe a little. Rumnottle. Halfling drinks always did agree with Trip.*

Crimson: *stands at the top of the stairs, arms crossed, looking at at the moron squint at bottles and mumble to himself*

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*theatrical gasp* my goodness, Trip!
Hmm... I wonder what Adra is doing

Snow said...

Anni... you are amazing.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

(*rapturous applause*)

*sips the drink, blankly staring at the wall*

Crimson: *Waits for him to turn around, for a dramatic entrance.*

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

(*claps for Anni*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Herrow. Sorry I didn't reply, but this is the gap in the story where I get to say hello and ask how ye'll are doing?

#ChaseForBook9

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Meh, I don't know if I'll even bother writing the funeral... I've been staring at it so long it's starting to bore me.

Snow said...

Oh, im fine trip. Im being a ninja and all.

Noelle said...

*Adra is standing at the top of her tower, her collar popped up, although now that she's growing a tiny human, the chances of her looking as badass as usual is at a nil*
*She figures she still might be able to pull it off*
*A few names run through her head, and she counts them off- a few she likes, a few she does not so much*
*Tosses a apple juice pack into the wind, and it floats away rapidly*
*The wind is like ice whipping at her skin*
*Her eyes water a bit*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Jolly good.

*It takes rather longer than expected.*

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

My mood is climbing, but my leg muscles are twitching a lot, and it's rather obnoxious.
Oh, and, I want to stab my abdomen out with a rusty knife. That might be less painful

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

I'm fine Trip bit upset now but if I ignore the reason the reason goes away as that happened over the weekend

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*MUCH longer than expected*

Crimson: *coughs*

*can't hear due to inflamed ear canal*

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

ffs that was unnecessary of me, wasn't it?

I don't apologize this is the best mood I have been in in two weeks. Hella.

-
*She looks down off the tower, and lifts up her arms- attached to her back is a contraption that holds a pair of wings to her body, that mirrors her movement*
*Gets on her tip toes, and jumps off the top of the tower, doing a little flip before snapping her arms pit, the wings following, and drifting with the wind, high over Blogland*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Crimson: TRIP!

Ar! *spins around, getting rumnottle all over his jacket*

Crimson!

#ChaseForBook9

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Once again, I find myself with nothing to do.
I think I may simply depart . . .)

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