Now then... THAT was a tour.
And it's all over. I've been home for a few days in between, but the fact is this tour has been going on since August 5th, and it ended September 15th. Last night I was walking around my garden, looking up at the stars, and the thought hit me: it's over. It's done.
Sure, sure, I have other things to do. I have an interview tomorrow, and signings and events in Bray, Ennis, Bangor, Belfast, Dublin and Cheltenham to come over the next few months, but essentially, that's me done for the year.
It's been a good tour. No, it's been a great tour. I got to meet so many of my Minions, both from Blogland and Facebook and the Forums and even Bebo, for God's sake. And then I got to meet so many more, those of you who don't even post comments. And then I got to meet those Minions who don't even know I have a Blog, or that there are Forums and Facebooks and Tumblrs and whatnot out there.
Already, some of you are being talked about in the corridors of Harper Collins. The tall blonde with the T-shirt in London. The hot chick in Australia, who asked me to marry her and assured me her girlfriend wouldn't mind. The readers who gaped, who froze, who hopped and skipped, who babbled and blubbered. The readers who proposed and flirted and flattered. The readers who came in costume, the readers who came with gifts... the artwork on display, the stories, the effort and dedication and the sheer talent. The massive four hour signing session in Liverpool 1, the even more massive five hour session in Bluewater...
And then all the bro-fists and the hugs and the tears from the hyperventilating teenage girls. The parents and guardians who stood in line so patiently, and who were so good-humoured. I hope you Minions thanked them for driving/escorting/waiting with you- they thoroughly deserve a hug.
It was exhausting. It was manic. It was fun. I wasn't able to take all the gifts with me on the plane, so they're being shipped over and I should have them in a few days. Once they are in my possession, I shall post some photos. Some of this stuff is astonishing.
So thank you, everyone who came out to see me and get a book signed. For some of you, it was our first time meeting. For others, we've met before. Others still, you've come to see me practically every single tour. I remember a lot of you. I know some of your names. And I love seeing you again.
And I'd love to say that now I'm going to take a holiday- but really, what are the chances of that? I've got stuff to do, and things to write, and sometime over the next month or so I'm going to have to start Skulduggery Pleasant Book 8...
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About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
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«Oldest ‹Older 3401 – 3600 of 4884 Newer› Newest»Hey Mist
Hi Mist. You're probably waiting for your part of the des, yes?
*ded
This is the strangest conversation I've ever had!
Me: so bre, how are you?
Bre: a lezzo
Me: what did you just say?!
Bre: I said I was fine! Duh!
Me: oh! Oh I thought you said you were a lesbian! Phew!
Bre: I did, and I'm fine about it!
Me: okay, *slaps self* nope, not dreaming!
HI ZATH!!
Hello...Fei. Hope you're alright...
Hey, Eden.
Hi Eve. Nope, I don't think I'll get one. I'm not a regular anymore, after all. Also I don't deserve one.
*is glaring ferociously at Steam*
Hi Zath!
Hi Ink.
That's a very weird conversation.
Mmmm, that was between my BFF that I have had for 7 years!
*Dives into the ocean* *Tries not to fall asleep*
Okay even weirder.
What's wrong with being a lesbian, Death?
Yeah... One of my eyes won't open and it is only 6:52 here!
We have had so many sleep overs, in a double bed, and now she is making out in Melbourne with my enemy!
Okay even more weird.
Wait, how old is she?
Mmmm, okay! Let's play the waiting game!
Hm. Yeah. Okay.
Oh god. My mum just looked at my giant Slulduggery and said "Should we cut his head off?" If I was standing, I would've fallen over.
Theres a lot of weirdness in the world.
And her girlfriend is 9
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's illegal then.
@shrugs* WHy shouldn't she cut his head ff? He has a spare. :P
Well, love is love...
*Silently gags*
Yeah but try sticking it back on.
And that's like weird to the power of 50.
Well, yeah, that's fine, they can be together. But you said they were 'making out', which is illegal at their age.
Sparky...You might have left us, for an incredibly lame reason, but I still love you. My little sister that is always there for me, no matter what happens. You're a bright spark that brightens everything up, even when everything is so dark it seems impossible to ever get better. You'll brighten up the world with your talent with words - you're one of the most talented writers I have ever known. I would honestly have a tough time deciding between your writing and Derek's...You're always going to be in my heart, because despite being blog, and fandom, famous you're down to earth. And you even accepted me, which is something a lot of people seem to find difficult. Before I started commenting on the blog I looked up to you, because you have always been amazingly brilliant. Now? Now I couldn't be more thankful for calling you one of my best friends. Every time you're on here at the same time as me, I know I'm going to have a laugh. I remember the first time I ever got an e-mail from you. I almost screamed in disbelief. I love you, girl. I'm never going to forget you, even if you forget me. I hope you see this and I hope you'll return, because without you I don't know where I'd be. I owe you so much and thank you will never be enough...but, it's a start. So, thank you, Sparky. Thank you for everything, you're inspirational.
Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Yes, your name has that many Rs. Now correct your name. :P STAR, I'D CALL YOU BUBBLY BUT YOU'RE A STAR. AND STARS AREN'T BUBBLES. SO...you're starrified. I've always loved stars. The amount of bags I have with stars on is unbelievable. Stars are beautiful; bright; shiny and helpful. You're all of those things and more. Star, you're hilarious, too. Lighting up the night sky! XD You're perfecccccttttt, ACCEPT IT OR I'LL THROW POPCORN AT YOU.
(Cont. Because the next one may hurt to write...)
And we are all wierd! Even me! The sicky eating es krim!
Anu... Saya mau es krim!
Here here again!
Wha?
In Indosesian it translates to "Um... I want ice cream!"
That os the only thing I know in Indo!
I think I am going to sleep... What do you guys think?
*laughs* Ah, I know the ded isn't finished but I HAVE to say something . . . Thanks, Sequintial! You're awesome! That star/bubbles thing reminds me of the Coco Pops Moons And Star Advert - the one with that fish who wants to visit space, and he looks up at the stars and thinks "Now, how the bubbles I am going to get up there?" And then he goes to space and sees the stars and all, and then it's wonderful, but he was born to be a fish so he goes back home again . . . Okay, rambling. I am not helpful at all btw. I try, and I fail absmylly, but oh welllllll . . .
And I'm not as funny as some. But if I was the most hilarious person ever, I wouldn't find as many things as funny, would I???? So it's all good, to steal your phrase. :)
I AM NOT PERFECT! *stands in front of Sequintial hopefully with hands out ready to try to catch popcorn and eat it*
I'm back.
You said that before Cal!
LYNXIA LOST. Lynxia is so pretty it hurts. Seriously, she's one of the most beautiful people I've ever known - her heart is pure, too! Lynxia is always there for me when I need her and if I didn't have her in my life...Then I don't know what I'd do. Shew so strong and so perfect. I just wish she could see how amazing I think she is. I PLAN ON MEETING YOU AT A SIGNING NEXT YEAR, LYNXIA. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. Lynxia was the first blog-sister I got and I love her more than anything, 'cause she's amazingggg. If any of you fail to see her awesome, you need your head checking. If any of you say anything offensive to her, you will have made yourself a new enemy. Lynxia is always here for me and I'd do anything to ensure her happiness and safety, because she means more to me than the world itself - she's the best sister I could ever want. Lynxia, you're my sister, not just blogsister, actual sister. I've decided. I'm so lucky to have you in my life AND WE CAN FANGIRL OVER LINK, LOKI AND LEGOLAS. (what is it with us and the letter L? *realises both Lynxia and Luciana begin with the letter L and laughs*) L IS THE BEST LETTER IN THE ALPHABET.
Now, to anyone I haven't already mentioned....I love you all more than words can say. You're my heroes, I love you all.
Ohandimnotquitedonewritingdeds
Luce, you're amazing.
That dedication was great.
Go Lynxia!
There is more to come Zath
Is there more?
Yes, and I'm about to fall asleep...
*Yawns*
I feel like a cat!
*Starts meowing and fur starts growing*
*Hisses and discovers it of black fur* *Purrs*
Today is just jam packed with amazing fantastically bonkers weirdness.
Ohandimnotquitedonewritingthis> Yes, there's more.
In my secret code language I made up, the letter L is a diamond with a cross on it . . . Not X-style cross. The diamond with the X-style cross on it is the letter J. It's a +-style cross. Yeah.
Meow!
*Starts shrink to the normal size of a cat*
Meow!
*Rubs against Eden's legs*
Meow!
Cool, I don't make up my own codes I use historic ones.
* grabs bridge of nose*
Too much weirdness.
* teleports into mid air constantly so it looks like I'm flying.*
*Looks up at Eden*
Meow?
I made up one. I can use it to write down things whilst I'm in school so people don't see what I'm writing. Before I invented my own, I used the Artemis Fowl one, which I went to great lengths to work out and learn. I can read all the Gnommish at the bottom of the pages in the books now (albeit slowly), which is awesome. The only flaw in my victory is that they give it out as a font on the website, which is just cheating . . .
*Finds snake tail* *Start batting it thinking 'meow meow meow meow meow!'* *Snake turns around and hisses* *Bolts up a tree*
Meow meow meow
Hmm...I think I'm forgetting someone really important...I just can't think who could have hadl a huge impact on my life...I can't think of that person who is always there for me and refuses to hate me...the person that makes me laugh, no matter how I'm feeling. The person that makes me laugh so much that I ache, the person I argue with about who is awesome..The person I could tell anything to and have no fear of being hated.
I'll never forget you, Zath. No matter what happens you're always going to be in my heart, because you're amazing. You're that person I can count on all the time. I've known you for less than a year, but it was only recently when I realised your true worth. There are very few people that I know I am myself around and there are very few people I trust as much as I trust you. You have showed me that I'm not on my own. You have proved to me several times over that there's always something worth fighting for. You've been amazing since always;3 You're always here for me when I need someone. You can tell when there's something wrong without me even having to say so, it seems. *draws a flower on Zath's face in pink highlighter* You stopped me from self-harming. And gave me something to smile about. Keep on writing, I want to be the first to buy your first book, alright? I'll be your biggest stan (stalker-fan, for those of you that are poorly educated);3
Zath, I don't care about your past. And I don't care who you hurt - unless it's Lynxia - because you're amazing and you mean the world to me.
Life is too short, remember? The past is the past, the future is still to come. Let's live in the present, because the present is our time.
Derek, I'd ded to you but you're getting a letter, instead. :P
Now, I'm going again. I'll be back by the 14th of November, for Kallista's birthday. And stay until at least the 18th, maybe stay for good. But I want to be around my friends for my 16th birthday.
Feel free to forget me, I don't mind. It's probably going to be better for you all that way. However, I'd hate you to forget that you're loved. So, even if you choose to forget me, remember that somebody somewhere loves you. You don't have to remember my name or my face, or even my personality. Not even what I've done. Just remember you're loved.
I'll talk to you when I get back, I guess...please excuse my typos. I'll try to reply to some e-mails when I can. I'll read your blogs and leave the odd comment. I might end up blogging once it twice, myself.
Please, everyone, don't die whilst I'm gone... <3
See you all later..
PS.
I love you all, even those of you I don't particularly like.
*Darts down the tree and into some bushes, hoping never to be found again*
How long did learning Gnommish take you, Star? Did you decipher it from the books or...?
Luce. That's just amazing. You're never going to be forgotten, aha. Don't know why you'd think that!
Take care of yourself and do say hello once in a while. Lots of love from my end.
Luce! We will never forget you!
...Huh...
Thanks, Luce...I'm kind of stuck for words here...
Take care of yourself, L. See you soon, hopefully.
And stay alive, too.
Yes! You have to drop by ever now and again! You will make me feel guilty otherwise!
Thanks I gtg I may poof a few times.
Bye Eden and I shall go to sleep now! Goodnight! And Luce, promise me that you come on every now and again!
And I leave you with a parting quote: Doth mother know you wearth her drapes?
SEQUINTIAL. I'll never ever forget you. If you have to go, then, horrible at it makes me seem, I hope you fail dismally and come back a few days later. Even if you don't . . . You'll come back at some point. We can sink our claws into you then. :P
It was easy, learning the Gnommish. On the first book they have, like, four whole verses in Gnommish followed by the translation in English. Then I wrote down which letters meant what, and starting deciphering all the Gnommish from the bottom of the pages, filling in the blanks in my Gnommish alphabet as I went. Sometimes they put instructions to the humans at the bottom of the pages, sometimes it's, like, a short story . . . Then after a while of reading it all, you just memorise a few of the letters. So I started trying to use it to write in code . . . I kept on forgetting letters, though . . .
Plus the letter Y is kinda complex. It's this crab. One of the reasons I made my own code was coz the Gnommish just takes too much drawing.
Star, you know in some of the books they have the Gnommish alphebet in the back?
Btw, that was a truly amazing dedication. :)
Hey Nix
I'm here again... Maybe...
Not in the copies I read they don't.
And besides, I learnt it. Plus I learnt Centurion (bottom of book two, in the English copies with old covers at least), which was so easy it doesn't really count as learning at all seeing as it's just slightly warped English. And I learnt that complex code in book three (again, English copies, oldest covers) where they have all the lines in columns . . . AND THEY WOULDN'T HAVE PUT THE ALPHABET OF THAT UP. I would never have used that as a code though. TAKE TO LONG TO WRITE OUT ALL THOSE LINES IN THE RIGHT PLACE. Plus that was harder to learn. I got it from taking the book's cover off (it was a hardback) and the name of the author and the name of the book were written on the spine in that complex lined-columned code, so I got a few letters from there and painstakingly proceeded . . . Hardest code by far. Then books four and onwards just had Gnommish again, which was . . . disappointing . . .
Uh... Is it normal to cough up blood?
Only if you're one of us, Death.
Not really though, no... You should tell someone about that.
Hi Nix.
Well. I say I learnt the complex code. Not really. I temporarily learnt a bit, and just had to look at my piece of paper tours de temps while I was deciphering the stuff at the bottom of the pages. So, not leanrt. :P
Okay... I will! I doubt I can go to the hospital, we are in the middle if Lake Eildon...
Mum says she will see how I go during the night...
Okay, I'm sleeping now!
Oh, it's also pretty natural if you happen to be a vocalist for a Death Metal/Black Metal/Doom Metal/Heavy Metal/Scream Metal/Metalcore/Deathcore band.
But otherwise, no.
No. Have you seen the adverts on the buses? "Had a cough for over three weeks? Blood when you cough?" "Time to call your doctor."
Not trying to scare you, but no, it's not normal.
Nope, I don't sing that kinda stuff, I sing to Mayday Parade, Lorenna McKennitt, Short Stack and a few others...
I'm not a smoker!
Yeah, it was a joke.
Just... make sure you get it checked it out as soon as possible.
Well, a joke for this matter. It's actually true, but... *shuts up*
...
Yeah, get it checked out, Death...
Yep! Will do! After I sleep! G'Nighf guys!
*G'Night
Bye, Death.
I never said you were a smoker. I never even thought it. Okay, my thoughts jumped to smoking when you said "coughing up blood", but only because my dad smokes and I have known him to cough up blood, which is slightly scary . . :/
G'night Death.
NIGHT DEATH!
Good night, Death. Make sure someone checks up on you continuously as you sleep. Better safe than sorry.
Okay, I understand!
*Lays back down*
I am really sleeping this time!
Bye Death
Meh... I'll sleep later! My lungs hurt too bad anyway!
So! What's up?
So Nix have you got anything new in stock?
Stock?
Guns ?
What sort of weapons dealer are you?
* grins*
I heard you accept money.
Oh. Right
Sorry, I'm a little distracted...
What do you want?
Oh, yeah, the weapons, Nix...
Bye Lucy Anna, see you soon! Don't worry, I won't forget you, but come back soon! I need at least one Lucy in my life!
Well, lets see.
Got any AK47s or smith and wessons
? Forgot the ?
I got a few Smith and Western's
I don't deal in guns specifically much
Well then do you have any rapiers or sabres?
You have any other Onyx-Hilt knives?
Nope, I'm gone again!
Yeah Eden
I only have the pair Mist, and someone else has reserved them for a good price
Boom...
Boom...
I have a rapier! Take it! It is free!
*Throws rapier over to Eden* *Dissapears*
Actually any sabres or cutlasses?
*watches with interest*
Darn.
Okay then...
*looks through the rest of the shelves of knives*
My dad has a cutlass! Name your price in Aud
Nice on Mist.
Possibly
Yes Eden
I have most non gun weapons
Something black with some industrial diamonds on the blade or woven razor.
No diamonds on the blade, but a few magical weapons that cut through almost anything, scars that don't heal, cause ever lasting pain...
It's a woven razor and it is black... I could give you some diamonds for it...
And I'll give you a bit extra if you engrave ET into the hilt.
Me? I can do that!
The pluses of your dad having any toy you could possibly think of!!!
What weapon do you want?
Well, since you're all trading weapons...
Star (if you're still here), a banana for a banana?
*shrugs and picks out two regular looking knives with fairly long blades and a good hilt-grip*
How much?
Death please, weapons dealers are talking.
So a sabre, black with a gold Pommel and cross guard and ET in gold as well.
Oh! While I am here, do you have any sai knives or tridents?
And I want it perfectly balanced please, and don't forget woven razor, it has to be woven razor.
Huh, you dont think this girl us into weapons and guns?
Typical men!
Mist... Hmmm...
*gives piece of paper with price on it*
Eden, I'll have it soon, okay?
That sounds reasonable, Master. *takes out banana and swaps it for Eve's*
Thank you Nix, always a pleasure doing business with you.
I do Death
Yeah, that is everything that dad's cutlass is!
I bloody go shooting with him every month!
*Mutters angrily*
Why do men think it is unnatural for girls to go motorbike riding, to go shooting, to go 4x4ing and love it???
Uh uh, now about the price Eden
*gets email telling me Eve has commented* Inkystar what?
*examines the paper*
Hmm... *nods*
*throws Nix a bag of money containing the aforementioned price and two dictionaries*
Yes Nix what do I owe you.
* takes out massive wallet*
Thank you Nix! Wait, do you mean that you have a trident and/or sai knives or about how you know that I am into guns and weapons too?
Thanks Mist
Now Eden, I don't always deal in money, and what you're asking is worth more than just cash
I see, so what are we talking 4, 5 favours.
Both Death
Favours? No
I want something else in return
*Continues to mutter*
Stupid men think that getting a motorbike for your birthday is beyond strange! Men always wondering what a girl will do with her own ford GT...
And what might that be?
Yes! How much?
Well
*smiles*
I need a particular object, magical properties. I would like you to... aquire it, for me
And Zath, you need to ded!
Death, what exactly do you want? One trident and a pair of knifes? Be specific
Ya know, Nix, I'd do that and probably almost anything else for free, right?
Huh. That I do, Death...
Sure, and what might that object be ?
* leans in interested in the subject*
I know Mist, but it's funnier if I watch him try to do it
*pockets brand-new banana*
INKYSTAR!!!
Sai knives, woven razor, maybe a golden chakram, woven razor... Anything is affordable!
*almost laughs*
Alright, fair enough.
*slots new knives in holders on the inside of jacket*
Well, I like to drive nice cars, and I am like Tanith in a way, we love motorbikes!
So Nix, what we talking gold medallion, ancient weapon etc.
I'm not going for money from you Death
Give me an exact list of what you want, not just general objects
INKYSTAR WHAT????
A box Eden
The box... and what's in it
I'm hoping you'll tell me.
*frowns*
Could this box possibly be the device that currently holds and contains the demon known as...
SLAZ?!
Okay,
Sai Knives: woven razor, good grip, balanced, lightweight
Trident: strong, gold, shoulder height, light weight
Chakram: golden, woven razor, light, balanced, needs good blade
That, Eden, is need to know. And you don't need to know
Give me the box, unopened, and you'll get you're weapons.
Zath, ded!
*rolls eyes at Death*
How many knifes?
Certainly and where might I find this box?
Two
Mist, if I could tell you, I would. But not until I have it can I say what's in it
Sai knives come in a pair...
I'm writing it, Death.
Yay!
I don't know what Sai knifes are Death, I just tell my workers to bring them and they do
So Death, a price...
You want the location Eden?
Tell me, ever heard of a place called the Cast Gates
Anything is affordable!
*Hides dad's walet behind back*
I'll handle this
* hands Nix a wad of cash *
Keep the change.
Now about the assignment?
Maybe I've heard of it maybe I haven't.
I don't want money Eden
*burns it*
A different price Death
In truth I haven't.
There was 2,500 euros there!
* calms down *
Okay about the gates?
And what is that?
You haven't?
*grins*
Well, it'll be exciting to go for you then, now won't it?
Death, any suggestions on what your price should be?
Ooh, Nix! Can I go with him too?
*has a video camera at the ready*
Anything! I can double it!
*Holds up dad's multiple check books and his credit cards*
*burns all of it*
I don't want money Death
You can if you want Mist... but you may not want to
Want do you want then?
I don't mind if Mist comes,
It'll means I'll have a witness to all my heroic deeds.
* straightens tie*
AND NO ONE IS MAKING ME GO BACK TO THE STUPID NORTH POLE AGAIN! SANTA IS A PEDO!
"He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake..."
PEDO!
Nah, I think I do.
Besides, I'll have Coward as 'protection'.
*rolls eye at the Black Bear*
So Nix, what do you want from me...?
Who's the black bear?
Actually Death, I was hoping you would go with Eden to the Cast Gates
*Shrugs*
Sure! Why not?
Aww but it's supposed to be an adventure.
And why will it not be an adventure now?
Oh, well never mind, I suppose.
*chucks Death the video camera*
Record it all, kay?
What?! Again! Men! Thinking that a girl isn't up for this!
ARGH! I'll go get it myself... Brief me later!
*Shimmers away*
Death- please don't God Mod
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