Friday, December 14, 2012

The End Is Nigh

How are we all?

Are we all nervous? Terrified, even? Are we all dreading December 21st, the last day on Earth as predicted by the Mayans? Although, as Jon Stewart pointed out on The Daily Show, the Mayans haven't exactly got the best track record as far as predicting the end of civilisations go... to wit, the Mayans...

But I digress.

So how will you be spending the last day on Earth? Will you be surrounded by loved ones? Will you be sobbing into a tub of ice cream? Will you, in fact, forget all about the end of the world because you still haven't got your Christmas shopping done?

Or will you be reading a very special end-of-the-world short story as posted on this very Blog- a short story that will ONLY be available on the 21st and 22nd before being taken down-  in which Skulduggery and Valkyrie track down the cause of the world's destruction and do their very best to avert it? A short story called "The Button"?

Hmm? Is THAT what you'll be doing?


4,954 comments:

  1. I'll be stuck at school, Derek.



    SCHOOL.



    Which, to say the least, is unfortunate.

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  2. Woah! First comment!


    I was literally just saying how you need to post again on the last post.

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  3. AND I will be reading your wonderful story, Derek.

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  4. Considering the weather forecast is -20°C for daytime high here for the 20th and 21st, I shall be frozen. A popsicle. Hmm. Kripsicle?

    On the plus side, that means I will be immobile and thus completely able to read the story. YAY!

    ... the world better not end. 'Cause that would suck.

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  5. You know, when my family was talking about the Mayans, we just came to the conclusion that the guy who wrote the calendar had a wife who was frustrated with him paying more attention to the calendar than her.

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  6. I hope that the end of the world is just going to be a few billion Desmond-heads cursing cows for not making enough milk.
    OHHH GODDDD.

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  7. Hmm...on the 21st I'll be stuck on my last day of term, possibly going to our school church service if it's then and then spending the rest of it running around like the crazy person I am:)

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  8. My last day is the 19th, so I'll be at home, curled in a ball reading Skulduggery books. Brilliant way to spend my last few hours. ^_^

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  9. YES IT WILL BE WHAT IM DOING.

    I'll be stealing the short story before it goes down btw and sticking it on my wall

    Can you like do it as a whole SP font style document as well because that would be cool

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  10. OMG I've never been so close to the top!!

    On the 21 the first thing I'll do is sleeping long because my christmas hollidays start then..

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  11. AND THEN I'LL READ THE SHORT STORY FOR A HUNDRED TIMES OR MORE! :DD

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  12. YAY! I shall be spending my last day on earth reading/watching/using my birthday gifts :D

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  13. OMG I AM GOING TO READING THIS!!
    I can't wait for this!!
    Derek you are brilliant!!

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  14. My friends and I talked about the Mayans too and I guess the guy who wrote the calender stopped writing for a moment, thought about what he was doing all day and then he realized- hell, I wrote a calendar for the next thousand years thats enough! I wont live that long, if they want a longer calender they have to wrote their own one! And then he lost his job (writing the calender).. poor guy...

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  15. I'm trying to think of reason's to why the world will actually end.
    Maybe Derek's story will be so good, everyone tries to come on Blogland and read it and the internet crashes and elecricity fails and yeah...

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  16. Im fine with the world ending because my birthday is 2 days before it and I will die happy knowing that Im 14... :D

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  17. Maybe the Mayan's got a message from aliens and, because it takes so long for things to get from one planet to another, the message said that is the day that the aliens come and invade and kills us...
    But then we'll use our ninja skills to do ninja stuff on them and we'll call all 'fictional' ninja people, such as Skulduggery and Valkyrie, who are secretly in hiding, after Derek (A.K.A Kenny Dune) wrote about them...and yeah, I'm really going off point now...

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  18. Oh I will still die a grumpy teenager but I will die as a grumpy teenager who has a new tablet :) (hopefully MUM) ...

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  19. Hmm. I'm nowhere ready to die yet.

    I mean, if we all die now, what about The Maleficent Seven? Never mind book eight?

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  20. I don't think we should die. I think the world as we know it should change. It'd be an intriguing experience.

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  21. I'll die 15 year old... My birthday was last month so I had one month to know what it feels like to be 15...

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  22. I don't think anything will happen! Skulduggery and Valkyrie will safe us all!!!

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  23. Hmm. Maybe.
    That's the only problem I have with this end of the world stuff.
    I won't be able to finish reading the S.P books and I'll never watch the end of Merlin and yeah DX

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  24. Valice - they'd better!

    Fortunately for us, they tend to be good at it.

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  25. I WILL BE UP ALL NIGHT ON THE 21ST WAITING FOR THAT STORY DEREK.


    ALL NIGHTEEEEEER!!!


    And I've done my bit of the Christmas shopping, so I'm all good.



    AND the best bit is, I'm gonna survive.

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  26. So if we'll really die and there's no chance for us to survive we'll all meet here and Derek you'll have to tell us what would have happened so we can rest in pieces... äh peace!! xDDD

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  27. i shall be a t school... BUT IM GONNA READ THAT STORY EVEN IF I HAVE TO BREAK EVERY SCHOOL RULE TO DO IT!

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  28. I'd probably die in a thingy. All the people in 3rd world countries will survive though, because they're so self-sufficant *nods*
    I kinda have my Christmas presents, need to finish them, otherwise I'll get eaten by someone who wants presents from me...

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  29. MY SCHOOL HOLIDAYS HAVE ALREADY STARTED AND IT'S NEARLY 1AM HERE.
    I really should be sleeping. I have a dance exam in about 13 hours from now....



    Hi all!!

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  30. I was planning on dying dancing to one of my favourite Tom Jones songs while wearing my navy robe with the stars on it,Li'l Elf hat,green sunglasses and my footie pajamas - Oh, and holding a bad ass bread stick! :c)

    - OMIGOD MANGOES! -

    But NOW I shall be reading (Dramatic voice) "The Button" - while still dancing to one of my favourite Tom Jones songs, wearing my navy robe with the stars on it,Li'l Elf hat,green sunglasses and my footie pajamas with a bad ass bread stick in my hand! >:D

    Oh yes and I must figure out my great suspicion of my schools VP without running him over in the car . . .

    Slán like a prawn! (^_^)

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  31. Omg, I just realised the title of this.
    "The End is Nigh"
    OMG THAT'S JUST OMG OMGOMG
    That's just epicness...

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  32. And I thought I am the only one who loves subway surfers! :D

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  33. Valice, you should see me and my sisters on Subway Surfers.
    We can get VERY addicted.

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  34. All my plans are now out the window! I shall spend those two days religiously reading 'the Button' until I can practically recite the story! I believe that's a great plan!

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  35. It IS addictive! You just can't stop! First you want all the letters, than you need more money to buy the pixie... And wooops... an hour's gone! :D

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  36. I KNOW!!

    I still need a lot of money to buy the pixie. But I'm over halfway!!

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  37. I' bought it last week but my friends helped me! We played it during all breaks for a few weeks..!

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  38. Lucky!!

    Ever done ballroom dancing?? (random question)

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  39. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.
    My friend said that she did about S.P in English and she had to draw what she thought Skul and Val looked like and then :O

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  40. Well, I never thought about doing a ballroom dance and I'm not too shure what it is but...

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  41. IENI.
    WHAT DID THE DRAWING LOOK LIIIIIIIIIKE???


    Valice, it's waltz, cha cha cha, tango, that sort of stuff.

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  42. ohh god see today I was doing social dancing and I was spun like 100 times and now I still cant see straight ... Its scary and I feel very quesy... :(

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  43. ah, okay! I can't dance anything of this..

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  44. I don't know. I'll ask her when she comes back on. She said she had a supply, who said he didn't like Shakespeare, so they would do something on the book he was reading.
    She said that they had to make up a spell about it, as well.
    I swear I want that supply teacher.

    I've never tried Social Dancing. I think
    I g2g -dinner

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  45. Melica, if you need someone to lean on, I'm here.

    Don't worry Valice. I've only just learnt tango. Well, I started to learn it 6 months ago...
    (That didn't help at all, did it)

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  46. At least you learn it, all I can do is Just Dance (wich is a lot of fun)

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  47. OMG JUST DANCE RULES!!

    But I prefer Dance Central on the Xbox Kinect.

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  48. Hi guys! Well, we survived the Zombie Apocalypse on Wednesday, so we'll all survive.

    Probably.

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  49. I've never played Dance Central but if it's better than Just Dance it must be awesome!

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  50. I love Just Dance!! And ohmygoshohmygosh can't wait for the short story!!!!

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  51. Hi everyone! I'm new to commenting, but not to this blog - been following it from day one! And Derek, this is SUPER EXCITING NEWS, can't wait until the supposed end of the world now! Also, i was wondering, will Scapegrace and Thrasher be in the Malificent Seven??? PLEASE say yes!

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  52. Thrasher and Scapegrace forever!!!
    Will they be in the short story??

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  53. Hi everyone that has appeared whilst I Googled 'bored'.

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  54. you are so lucky that you dont have to do it but the songs that we do it to are traditional scottish songs and some irish ones...for some reasons but they go on FOREVER. The longest one is 15 mins long...seriously I was so dizzy I couldnt walk in a straight line, I was being spun round so many times...

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  55. yes, 15 mins. I NEARLY DIED. The steps that you do for 1 rotation is going forward, then back the spinning (and reapeat) then the girl is spun 6 TIMES and then you and your partner spin in a waltz position for 8 beats. And you then repeat this for 15 consecutive minutes.

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  56. It was, all I can hear is a loud drone in my ear and my balance I swear is out of whack...

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  57. Yes Oh Mighty Landy! That is what I'll be doing :)

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  58. yeah but I dont have it again until monday and they dont make girls do paired dances together... its all very sexist because I would rather dance with my friends than...wait I was dancing with one of my friends (hes a boy btw) but you get my point...

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  59. Hi Colleen! And yes, THRASHGRACE RULES.

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  60. Yes, I think I get it.. Well I'll stick with Just Dance and I'll run away whenever someone wants me to dance traditional scottish or irish dances!

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  61. its torture, sheer torture, if I were you I would run far away when anyone ever mentions it, no joke, run and dont stop .

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  62. I'll run faster than I've ever run!!

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  63. *looks at clock*

    Wow. There goes an hour.

    So now 12 hours until my dance exam.








    Crap.

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  64. *nods*
    Whenever someone mentions it, running sounds like a good idea.

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  65. good, good, that is what you should do ...

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  66. What type of dancing do you do, Miss Cain? :) I do ballet!

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  67. ill be praying under my bed hoping it will protect me, yes the fabric and lump of wood could... while with my laptop reading skulduggery, i don't want to get bored dieting.

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  68. derek it's like you can read my mind. OF COURSE I'll be reading it!

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  69. Emily, I do ballroom dancing, both Latin and Modern.
    And my dance exam is in about 12 hours.

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  70. got to go now..! might be back later..
    GOOD LUCK MISS CAIN!!

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  71. I don't understand all and I'm not sure, if you will understand me... but I must say - I love this!! This blog is very fantastic and this people here.. super!
    (Sorry for the writing mistakes.)

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  72. And yes, I look forward to the 21'th! It's very funny! My friends and me make a Motto - Party! World - Downfall (how do you call this day?)

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  73. And now I should go and sleep.
    Bye all!!!

    *disappears*

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  74. *dives off the roof* A SHORT STORY?! How awesome, but yes, I'll be a school singing happy birthday to my friends and trying for the [potential] last time to irritate my head of 6th form :D

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  75. *screams* YES DEREK, THAT'S WHAT I'LL BE DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Wbd. Sewing. It's homework, but it doesn't feel like homework coz I'm enjoying it . . .

    WE'VE ALMOST FINISHED WATCHING THE,DARK KNIGHT NOW.

    The part we watched today was very traumatic. Made me cry. And I was all traumatised for about fifteen minutes afterwards. WHICH IS AN EXCELLANT POINT TO MAKE IN MY DEBATE.

    But seriously. Some people were saying about The Dark Knight not being scary at all. Stupid people with no empathy. It ISN'T scary, it's bloody UPSETTING. There was a boat full of criminals being takem to prison, right, and a ferry full of ordinary people. They both discovered detonaters on their boats. The Joker told them that the prisoners had the detonater to blow up the ferry, and vice versa. If the prisoners blew up the ferry, the prisoners would live, and if the ferry blew up the prisoners, THEY would live. If anyone tried to leave their boats, they would ve killed. If nobody detonated by midnight, both boats would be blown up by the Joker. So they either had to kill a boatful of people or die, and if they didn't blow up the other boat quick enough, they'd be killed.

    GOD, THERE WERE KIDS ON THE FERRY. KIDS VOTING ON A BIT OF PAPER TO KILL A BOATFUL OF PEOPLE. IF THEY DIE, THEY . . . THEY DIE. THEY'RE KIDS WITH THEIR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF THEM, AND THEY DIE. AND IF THEY BLOW UP THE OTHWR BOAT AND LIVE? THEY'RE KILLERS! THEY HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THEY VOTED FOR OR AT LEAST DIDN'T STOP PEOPLE KILLING A BIG BOATFUL OF PEOPLE. EITHER WAY, THEIR LIVES - RUINED.

    149 people on the ferry voted to to detonate. Over 300 voted to detonate. Mothers, fathers, kids, ordinary buisnesspeople.

    I'm crying again. I have tears running down my face.

    I'M SORRY, BUT THAT IS SICK AND TWISTED AND HORRIBLE.

    I won't say the outcome. Would spoil it.

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  76. *sniffs* AND HARVEY DENT. OH, HARVEY DENT.

    But excellant movie. I LIKE being upsettered, in a way.

    PEOPLE, WATCH THE DARK KNIGHT.

    So. HI!

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  77. AWWW I KNOW! its sick that people dont apreciate the movie because if batman was real (that would be so awesome) then you wouldnt laugh or shrug your shoulders :D

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  78. YES, THAT IS WHAT I WILL BE DOING!

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  79. I DON'T REALLY LIKE BATMAN THE PEREON, MYSELF. :)

    This movie wasn't really about Batman. It was about Harvey Dent and the Joker. The Batmanness just annoyed me. :P

    Actually, I could use up one of my deds on The Dark Knight. :)

    AND DON'T TRY TELLING ME IT'S A MOVIE AND ISN'T REAL. BECAUSE IT EASILY COULD BE REAL.

    The scary thing was that the Joker had a point with his whole talking about chaos. I understand why he does what he does. A few adjustments and he could be the misunderstood hero. He's showing the logical planners, the rulers of the city, that they have no control. That their plans can be so easily torn to pieces. That they fail. He points out that when the good guys plan to kill a load of people (war or whatever), nobody panics, they're all calm, because it's part of the plan, but that when he says he'll kill one person, they all panic and flap around because it's unplanned for.

    HE HAS ALL THESE GOOD POINTS IT'S SCARY OMGG.

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  80. in Connecticut there was a shooting at an Elementary school. The man who did it probably killed himself.
    This IS real. There is no denying that there are very cruel, twisted, people living among us.

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  81. I went to the doctor to get toe surgery for two hours and I miss a post. My life is unfair.

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  82. Today was a long day.

    I only just got back. :(

    AND I HAVE TO FINISH THESE LETTERS D:

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  83. I saw that in the news, Thrust:(

    Hello Clove:) *ninjaeroplanetacklhugs*
    OMG I SAW A RAINDBOW TODAY ON THE BUS BACK AND I THOUGHT OF YOU!

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  84. IENI!:3

    I'm just invading all of your lives;D

    How are you?

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  85. I'm bowling on a class trip that day i hope it doesn't get take off before i get a chance to read it o.O :0 :)

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  86. MY BROTHER WAS EATING SKITTLES TODAY. SO I USED IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO HIVE HIM AND MY SISTER A LECTURE ON M&MS. :)

    HI SCÁTH!

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  87. HI SPD!

    HI IENI! *ninjaaeroplanetacklehugs*

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  88. I'm distant. Working on that story for Kes and Val.

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  89. Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *ninjaeroplanetacklehugs*
    My life is here to be invaded:) It's not peticularly interesting, but nothing bad happens, which I like:) I just found my friend smokes (she's 13, like me), which I'm a bit :( about. I already knew she was a bit of an alcholic, but I meh...

    Skittles are nice. Skittles and skittles. Skittles last a long time.

    BUT POLOS ARE BETTERRRR!
    Omg, I've never mentioned by obession with Polos, here?
    :O

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  90. *laughs at hands* Everybody kept talkinh to me about my hands today. I have the faded lyrics to Voices on my hand from yesterday and today I started writing the lyrics to Pain Redefined on my other hand.

    *looks at hand* I AM NOW COMPELLED TO FINISH IT. *slowly, lefthandedly starts writing the word 'shaking.'

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  91. OH GAWD I HATE HAVING THIS STUPID COLD IT CAN GO DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.
    The only thing I ever get are colds, because I seem to be immune to all other illnesses.
    I still get headaches quite a lot though.
    BUT OMG TRYING TO BLOW YOUR FREAKING NOSE FREAKING QUIELY WHILST YOU'RE DOING A MATHS ASSESSMENT AND NOT WANTING THE WORLD TO FREAKING STARE AND YOU AND AGHHHH!

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  92. It'll be the last day of school on the end of the world... Damn stupid school dates...

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  93. Omg, Star. I though that said:
    'Everyone kept talking to my hands today.'
    Same here, Mara:) And, hi! *hugs*
    *Sneezes*
    OMG -_-
    Going to go have a massive nose blowing session now...
    Brb...

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  94. WBD, WRITING THIS LETTER SO I CAN START WRITING THE OTHER TWO!:3

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  95. Hehe. I'm so childish I'm going to see the new Tinkerbell movie :D

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  96. My dad smokes. But not indoors or anything . . .

    :( Smoking is very bad for you. It harms your body in numerous ways. Tobacco is a drug. Like heroin, only heroin is obviously worse. Just because it is legal does not mean it is not a harmful drug.

    Orc from Gone's an alcoholic for most of the series. Only more than 'a bit of' an alcoholic.

    I feel so sorry for Orc. He's like a little kid. But he's been so, so unlucky . . .

    ICH HABE VIERZEHN JAHRE ALT. In other words, I'm fourteen. Fourteen, one month, twenty-nine days, three hours, and eleven minutes. WOOH! :)

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  97. hmm... Definitely reading the short story...the ice cream one would make you really cold...

    Also! i'm getting a kindle for Christmas so i get get the kindle short story yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

    he he... i love skulduggery pleasant books.

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  98. like my christmas pic?

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  99. AWESOME, LUMOS!

    *laughs at how clean my left hand looks compared to my right one*

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  100. *grins at the bridge* "And I know that stillness shatters" is on my ring finger, "We have all been frightened by the" in on my little finger, then I was out of space over there so "sounds of footsteps on the pavement of our lives" is on my . . . thumbprint? Then I was out of space again so "I stand and fight! I'm not afraid to die!" is on the other side of my thumb, the part of my thumb that's on the back of my hand, then "Bury me tonight!" is underneath it with the "Elochai," out to the side.

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  101. ALL THE OTHER PARTS ARE IN NEAT LITTLE VERSES TOO. :P

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  102. Yup, I'm guessing that's about what I'm gonna be up to.

    Woo!

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  103. Moira, I thought your surname was Drake for a moment then and almost freaked out because of Gone. :O

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  104. Hell yeah that's what I'll be doing!

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  105. defo! class, really good way to spend my time before a disco!! :) YEAH! But i dont think its acc gonna end!!

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  106. I'll have my last day of school before Christmas, so our school abandon lessons for the day (and yes, it IS a secondary school) to watch 'Elf' :3 how nice.

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  107. I shall be at a party awaiting the end of time

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  108. *nods* slightly uncalled for....

    MASTER DEREK COME FORTH AND SPEAK AMERIMINION WANTING YOU :)

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  109. I'll definitely be reading the short story.

    But also,
    Hey guys!

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  110. DEREEEK PLEASE, need to know about my Scapey! :')

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  111. C'mon Master please

    *puppy dog eyes*

    for Minions? As a kindness from your heart, i know you have one

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  112. DEREK, IM DESPERATE AND I'M A NEWBIE! So come and say hello! :')

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  113. im back! *boom* (for the third time) :)

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  114. DEREK COME SPARE YOUR TIME AND CHAT please? Please with uhm cheese on top? You like cheese dont you?

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  115. DEREK! I have gingerbread and waffles and... and ZAF! Yeah, Zaf is here! And you like Zaf, don't you?!

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  116. aww Im glad to hear Zaf :) I had a christmas concert last night :)

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  117. Zaf of course Derek likes you...

    you are very likable :)

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  118. Well...then agin...I had an exclamation point after my name xD Celine and Nikki didnt. Em was saying cuz he's mad at me! But i dont see him as that evil...I think he's nice.

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  119. I'll also be at school.

    But I'll be here O.O

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  120. ROBINN!!! *tacklehugs*

    You are now one of my best friends.

    Because you are random.

    Like me.

    FLAPPERDOODLES!

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  121. YAY MARALIE

    *blows bubbles into the air and waves at them* BYE MY CHILDREN!!

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  122. *feelings just got punched in the chest like the way star did to my head as I fell into volcano*

    hey robin! :)

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  123. But, then again... everyone is my best friend.

    YAY :D

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  124. thanks Mara, now I feel better :)
    I use a lot of small words in random orders to confuse people ... its very amusing... :)

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  125. *frolics in the meadow*

    if Derek hasnt died then i wont!

    *Lord Vile appears*

    AAAAH!!!!!!

    *shadow walks and hides behind Mel*

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  126. *shoves Robin in lake* I'M IN A FIGHTY MOOD! *runs around in circles* COME KILL ME! COME KILL ME!

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  127. such as -
    if there is flowers in a meadow and theres also a cow then is it a cow meadow, or a flower meadow because if it was a cow meadow then it wouldnt really be a meadow it would be a field with a cow and if the cow was called flower then woud it be called the flower meadow?

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  128. *gets out of lake*

    *looks like an unhappy, wet, cat*

    Why?

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  129. Because I feel violent today. I don't know why, alright?!

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  130. *sneaks up behind mara*
    *pushes her over*
    *lifts her up and throws her into a volcano*
    hehehe

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  131. *screams* YOU KNOW I CAN'T SWIM GUISE LIKE WHAT THE HELL.

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  132. * climbs tree*

    derek lizard!!! Out of my tree!!

    *gently puts Derek-lizard in different tree*

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  133. THE 1 POUND FISH SONG IS STUCK IN MY HEAD!!!

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  134. *climbs out slowly* YOU'RE LUCKY THE LAKE WASN'T DEEP.

    *scowls* Peasants.

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  135. *grabs Derek-lizard*

    if i drown so dies the lizard! Master Derek would show his wrath....wait would he? No he'd laugh

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  136. OmG HaVe YoU nOt HeArD tHe 1 pOuNd FiSh SoNg???

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  137. OmG

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETSl8gWsFZ0

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  138. I will definitely be reading that story!!! wooo. :D
    I'm sort of ignoring the whole end of the world thing, if it doesn't happen then I haven't wasted my time worrying and if it does happen it will probably be over before I know it. Either way i will have spent the next week doing fun things not sitting and worrying. :D

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  139. why? did you watch the 1 pound fish song?? DID YOU??? :)

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  140. Hello Blogland!
    I don't doubt that the story will be awesome. I can't wait to read it!

    How are we all on this wonderful day?

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