This story- which I had intended to be REALLY REALLY short and funny and quirky- eventually became a little longer. And a lot less funny. But this is it.
And it will come down at midnight, Irish time, on the 22nd...
And it has now been taken down... only to reappear in the Skulduggery Pleasant Collection of short stories and novellas, available... um... some time in the spring of 2014...
I have to ded? And the story is pretty damn good. Poor Liam. I'm sure any novelist who can't seem to finish their own great work knows his plight very well.
So Glad I Stayed Up To Read That! Yay! I Swear If The World Ends Because The World Cracks Open I Will Die Immensely Creeped Out By That Fact! Thank Youuuu Mister Derek :)
I bought one of my distant friends at school Skulduggery for Christmas and I know that two more are getting the first and second from their families as well.
Hehe it's funny. I've been writing the number of days until this story came out on my hand, and people kept seeing it and thinking I was counting down until the world ended. "How are you preparing for it?" they keep asking. "What do you want to do before the world ends?" Read Skulduggery Pleasant of course. Their blank faces are so funny. Great story. I feel bad for Liam though.
For some rediculous reason, no one in my town knows about Skulduggery Pleasant (gasp). But everyone who knows me, knows it, because I pester them all the time to read it. I've gotten most of my friends hooked on the series now. Be proud of me Derek!
Same with me Quintessa! Though I did get Jubi reading it, got Mysteria starting it, got my family reading it, and a random guy at my school just started reading it.
It's tragic, isn't it Persephone? I'll mention it and when they ask what that is I can't help but stare at them and say, "You poor, stupid person. You don't know what you're missing."
I was at rehearsal with Jubi and Edmund (the boy who's reading them) and we were playing and improv game. Me: Let's play Skulduggery Pleasant Improv! Jubi and Edmund: YES! Me (to Jubi): Miss Sorrows! I love you! Please take this as a token of my love. Jubi: *crippling laughter* (I can't remember what she said. Edmund: Hello, does anyone need anything tailored? Me: No, go away Ghastly.
Haha Oh my that sounds so fun! I've got to try that with my friends... Hehe especially my brother, we ALWAYS do random improv scenes while people are watching. It's hilarious really.
I know lots of people who read SP, because I forced them to.
I made my friend Emily read it, so when she asked what character she could be, I said Mr Bliss. And I drew a really buff shirtless guy on her Christmas card and said it was her.
Just thinking everyone should know I'm high on Doctor Who. About a week ago I got series 1-6 on DVD. I've been watching an average of three a day and bananas are a good source of potassium!
It used to say, “I can barely hook my phone up to the internet- why do you think I know how to destroy the planet? This is ridiculous. Please leave me alone.”
But NOW, it says, “I can barely work out how to make a call on my own phone- why do you think I know how to destroy the planet? This is ridiculous. Please leave me alone.”
They most certainly are. Everyone on Tumblr is asking the Aussies about the end of the world. Everyone forgets that the kiwis would have experienced it first.
I find that amusing. But Queen Victoria probably isn't amused.
Waitin' for the zombies... Waiting for the zombies...
Oh, I heard the funniest damn thing. There are people betting on how the world will end today *facepalm* If they're right, and it does end, How do they collect their money?!
There was this one guy in the newspaper that said he hoped they paid before the apocolypse ... *doublefacepalm*
See, I was smart and copied and pasted into a Word Document so I can read later. Don't worry, this won't be sold for money, I always make sure to advertise the Skul-bug books when my friends are looking for new reads! So I won't do anything illegal with this :-) Just glad that I can now cherish this story forever. Merry Christmas to me! XD Thank you for the new story, Derek, I'm really excited to read it when I get the chance!
Wow, that story really was serious. I never would have thought skulduggery was capable of such a sensible conversation. Oh well I guess he must have been tired after saving the world eight times in the one day... and I haven't even gotten any of my homework done...
This was absolutely brilliant, Derek. This story put more visualisation in my head than any other SP book. And I look forward to the Tanith Low novella coming out in March. I've already pre-orded it on my Kindle. (e-book)
I prefer this more than KOTW. Which is my second favourite book. Well, third now. Dark Days is my fave. Because it really gives a sense of the deep love Val has for Skulduggery, and what lengths she'll go to for him. And it brings out her independence.
My goodness... Just when I thought things couldn't get any more epic! Magnificent story, Derek! You'll be pleased to know that it is the 22nd, at 4:06pm in Australia and so far the world hasn't ended. Personally, I never thought it would, but I'm glad to hear that Skulduggery and Val's continuing efforts to prevent the apocalypse have proved successful. Anyway, thank younger posting such an epic story! Glad to hear from you again, master Derek, and your story has broken the epica-o-meter yet again. (as always, I suppose) Thank you for posting!
EXACTLY! You know, the other day I was trying to do Mycroft's umbrella swing thing, and 1. I whacked my nose really hard and 2. The umbrella flew across the room and everyone looked at me.
First!
ReplyDeletejust thought to check the blog. fab story!!
ReplyDeletejust thought to check the blog. fab story!!
ReplyDeleteLemony, you have to ded now!
ReplyDeleteAND FOURTH!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Derek's still here...
ReplyDeleteHi Zath!
ReplyDeletewooo! 7th?
ReplyDeleteActually 8th, but... I love the story BTW, just finished reading.
ReplyDeleteKABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThere goes the epicness meter... well worth it though!
I have to ded?
ReplyDeleteAnd the story is pretty damn good. Poor Liam. I'm sure any novelist who can't seem to finish their own great work knows his plight very well.
Ah, magical world, when will you stop spewing out potential apocalypses?
ReplyDeleteNever, I hope.
HMMMM!
ReplyDeleteaha! Thursday blog post!
ReplyDeleteAmazing...just amazing
ReplyDeleteOMG BLOODY AMAZING!!
ReplyDeleteI <3 IT!!
Derek I have something I really need to ask you!
I know it's a long shot, but could you e-mail me??
njmaverick@hotmail.co.uk
Hahaha ive never been this high up!
ReplyDeleteFantastic!
ReplyDeleteI laughed my ass off at Valkyrie noting that they got there first. What, do you guys get a bonus for averting the end of the world before Christmas?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo Glad I Stayed Up To Read That! Yay! I Swear If The World Ends Because The World Cracks Open I Will Die Immensely Creeped Out By That Fact!
ReplyDeleteThank Youuuu Mister Derek :)
Ahahaha...
ReplyDeleteAmericans. Do not mess this up. *starts laughing again*
No offense to any Ameriminions at all.
That was awesome!
ReplyDelete"The Americans?"
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's what I thought.
Awesome story!
I think I have the farthest time zone from Ireland in America...
ReplyDeleteI should screw something up, so then Skulduggery will have to come and save the day!
just finished! Don't worry, we'll take care of the other apocalypse threats over here in America! :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent job Derek... Been looking forward to this all week and waited up tonight to read this - well worth it. Thanks for the story.
ReplyDeleteNear the top!
ReplyDeleteNow to go read the story
Also, I'm not surprised that his name is Liam. My arch nemesis is named Liam.
ReplyDeleteSo of COURSE he built a bomb.
And isn't Liam a goblin, anyway?
Ohhhh ohhhh! Have to read it!
ReplyDeleteAWESOME!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo..Derek, what's wrong with us Americans, hmmm?
Oh my god! Today's the end of the world!
ReplyDeleteI think our mages will kick ass!
ReplyDeleteToday I had someone ask me if they could borrow a Skulduggery book from me because they like what I've told them about it.
ReplyDeleteTen awesome points to me.
I bought one of my distant friends at school Skulduggery for Christmas and I know that two more are getting the first and second from their families as well.
ReplyDeleteYeAH.
Oh My God.
ReplyDeleteThis is absolute fabulousness.
Oh.
ReplyDeleteMy.
God.
Liam is just so perfect. I feel so sorry for him, but he managed to not press it, and he's sacrificing so much for the rest of the world, and yeah.
TWENTY THOUSAND MILLION THUMBS UP!
Derek! What would have happened if Liam had pressed the Button?
ReplyDeleteHehe it's funny. I've been writing the number of days until this story came out on my hand, and people kept seeing it and thinking I was counting down until the world ended. "How are you preparing for it?" they keep asking. "What do you want to do before the world ends?"
ReplyDeleteRead Skulduggery Pleasant of course. Their blank faces are so funny.
Great story. I feel bad for Liam though.
My friend left school two days early to visit her dad in New Zealand.
ReplyDeleteShe left today, the 20th in America. She'll arrive tomorrow, on the 22nd in New Zealand.
SHE'S CHEATING!
For some rediculous reason, no one in my town knows about Skulduggery Pleasant (gasp). But everyone who knows me, knows it, because I pester them all the time to read it. I've gotten most of my friends hooked on the series now. Be proud of me Derek!
ReplyDeleteSame with me Quintessa! Though I did get Jubi reading it, got Mysteria starting it, got my family reading it, and a random guy at my school just started reading it.
ReplyDeleteIt's tragic, isn't it Persephone? I'll mention it and when they ask what that is I can't help but stare at them and say, "You poor, stupid person. You don't know what you're missing."
ReplyDeleteI want to hear more about the other potential apocalypses...
ReplyDeleteI was at rehearsal with Jubi and Edmund (the boy who's reading them) and we were playing and improv game.
ReplyDeleteMe: Let's play Skulduggery Pleasant Improv!
Jubi and Edmund: YES!
Me (to Jubi): Miss Sorrows! I love you! Please take this as a token of my love.
Jubi: *crippling laughter* (I can't remember what she said.
Edmund: Hello, does anyone need anything tailored?
Me: No, go away Ghastly.
And it was just generally wonderful.
Hi all! Bye all!
ReplyDeleteBye Alexander!
ReplyDeleteOh, I have to go to.
ReplyDeleteToodles!
Don't die!
*too
ReplyDeleteAwesome story of awesomeness.
ReplyDeleteGlad I popped by. Hello everyone!
Haha Oh my that sounds so fun! I've got to try that with my friends... Hehe especially my brother, we ALWAYS do random improv scenes while people are watching. It's hilarious really.
ReplyDeleteHaha awesome story! Love it!
ReplyDeleteHi everyone btw :P
I love it! Been looking forward to this since you told us about it!
ReplyDeleteOr you know. It's possible that everyone just left...
ReplyDeleteHi Izz!
ReplyDeleteLong time no see.
Hi Izz! Hi Moose!
ReplyDeleteI so want to do that with my friends, except NOBODY I KNOW READS SP.
ReplyDeleteWe should do it here!
Oh yes! People are here!
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure.
Indeed I have only just been getting back on the blog recently. It's so good to be here waiting for the apocalypse with you guys.
Hi Izz, Moose, and Val!
ReplyDeleteWait, Lemony Good, if you come back... Are you the person who does the Skul-man comics?
ReplyDeleteWeeble. Weeble. Weeble.
ReplyDeleteI know lots of people who read SP, because I forced them to.
ReplyDeleteI made my friend Emily read it, so when she asked what character she could be, I said Mr Bliss. And I drew a really buff shirtless guy on her Christmas card and said it was her.
Silver, do not call me Moose...
ReplyDeleteAlso. An update from me.
ReplyDeletethree of the electric windows in our car just stopped working today. Definitely the end of the world.
I finally got my friend reading the books... she's been on the first one for almsot 2 weeks now though...
ReplyDeleteHer excuse is homework, but I don't buy it
*does victory dance*
ReplyDeleteConcert in...
*checks*
1 and a half hours!
That was great, as always Derek
ReplyDeleteMSD
ReplyDeleteNix, where'd your picture go?
ReplyDeleteHi Nix!
ReplyDeleteAh, that's better
ReplyDeleteHowdy everyone!
ReplyDeleteAnyone got any bombs handy... a few werewolves I have to kill.
Hey Nix
ReplyDeletePEOPLE
ReplyDeleteHi Val!
Hi Mist!
Hi Em!
Hi Izz! Haven't seen you in ages
*murmurs about people never checking Dashboards anymore*
ReplyDeleteDEREK CHANGED IT! HE EDITED IT IN THE LAST HALF HOUR OR SOMETHING!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA, DEREK, I FIGURED IT OUT!
YOU STALKER! YOU MUST BE WATCHING THE COMMENTS TOO, THEN!
*reads over comment*
Um, okay, I'm crazy.
*salutes*
ReplyDeleteJust thinking everyone should know I'm high on Doctor Who.
About a week ago I got series 1-6 on DVD. I've been watching an average of three a day and bananas are a good source of potassium!
How are we all on this apocalyptic morning??
ReplyDeleteIzz, right now I'm wearing a black shirt with a grey TARDIS outline and on the inside it says "RULE #1: THE DOCTOR LIES".
ReplyDeleteNice Val. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteWhat were you talking about before? With the whole edited thing?
It's only about 6 PM here on the 20th...
ReplyDeleteTimezones are weird.
It used to say, “I can barely hook my phone up to the internet- why do you think I know how to destroy the planet? This is ridiculous. Please leave me alone.”
ReplyDeleteBut NOW, it says, “I can barely work out how to make a call on my own phone- why do you think I know how to destroy the planet? This is ridiculous. Please leave me alone.”
Oh it's still my birthday there Val lol that is so weird!
ReplyDeleteIt's my sister's birthday too :D
ReplyDeleteThey most certainly are. Everyone on Tumblr is asking the Aussies about the end of the world. Everyone forgets that the kiwis would have experienced it first.
ReplyDeleteI find that amusing.
But Queen Victoria probably isn't amused.
Waitin' for the zombies... Waiting for the zombies...
ReplyDeleteOh, I heard the funniest damn thing. There are people betting on how the world will end today
*facepalm*
If they're right, and it does end, How do they collect their money?!
There was this one guy in the newspaper that said he hoped they paid before the apocolypse
...
*doublefacepalm*
People are weird.
ReplyDeleteHe did that a while ago. It was there when I read it.
ReplyDeletePeople are stupid
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't there when I read it. It was still the internet.
ReplyDeleteDEREK. Y U EDIT STORY?
I don't know what to have for lunch...
ReplyDeleteI mean. I know bananas are great and all but not everyone keeps fruit in their dressing gowns.
I don't know what to have.
BOTTONN!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Thrust!
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED!
ReplyDeleteI NEED TO COVER MY HEAD IN FOIL SO THE ALIENS CAN'T READ MY MIND!
brc
21:00 12/20
ReplyDeleteThen end of the world is tomarrow... damn timezone. I don't live anywhere near Ireland
Oh God, none of our comments will be saved.
ReplyDeleteOk I'm good now. I looked a bit stupid a t first but now I've managed to line the inside of my cool fedora with foil. Now I'm prepared.
ReplyDeleteStill need lunch though...
Oh sh*t you're all dead aren't you?
ReplyDeleteNo I'm trying not to kill my characters off...
ReplyDeleteIt's a very patient process lol
Ah well.
ReplyDeleteThat's alright then. I think.
Poor characters.
I am, but but that doesn't mean I can't use the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteI should probably go anyway.
ReplyDeleteNeed food and Who.
Auf wiedersehen alle!
Bye Izz!
ReplyDeleteYes I am dead.
Excellent!
ReplyDeleteAmericans mess it up? Hmm? What is THAT supposed to mean, Derek?
THATS WHAT I SAID!
ReplyDeleteI know. I read the comments...
ReplyDeleteAlso, my dad is cured! 'Twas Zeppelin and The Who in the car.
ReplyDeleteDamn internet
ReplyDeleteOh dear God, i've been waiting for this short story and I'm so happy it's here!!
ReplyDeleteMy comment poofed... I said:
ReplyDeleteHi Nix! What did the Internet ever do you, hmmmm?
Also, hi Lucinda!
See, I was smart and copied and pasted into a Word Document so I can read later. Don't worry, this won't be sold for money, I always make sure to advertise the Skul-bug books when my friends are looking for new reads! So I won't do anything illegal with this :-) Just glad that I can now cherish this story forever. Merry Christmas to me! XD Thank you for the new story, Derek, I'm really excited to read it when I get the chance!
ReplyDeleteHi Fiona!
ReplyDeleteActually, that's not a bad idea...
ReplyDelete*copy and pastes into Notes*
Anyone?
ReplyDeletebrilliantly written as always. just wish we'd found out who planted the idea and how it came to be.
ReplyDeleteHey everyone!
ReplyDeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteDistant, YouTubing.
Wow, that story really was serious. I never would have thought skulduggery was capable of such a sensible conversation. Oh well I guess he must have been tired after saving the world eight times in the one day... and I haven't even gotten any of my homework done...
ReplyDeleteHomework? WHY?
ReplyDeleteThis was absolutely brilliant, Derek. This story put more visualisation in my head than any other SP book. And I look forward to the Tanith Low novella coming out in March. I've already pre-orded it on my Kindle. (e-book)
ReplyDeleteHey, guys, I'm being made to do a Serpine/Mevolent and I don't know what to call the pairing? Should it be Servolent or Merpine?
ReplyDeleteHey, it's spelt Benct
ReplyDeleteHello?
ReplyDeleteI'm talking about PewDiePie's Bengt. From Lucius.
ReplyDeleteIts amazing.
ReplyDeleteYAY.
FINALLY.
Hello everyone that is on.
ReplyDeleteValsnacks all round!! * makes it start raining valsnacks *
I prefer this more than KOTW. Which is my second favourite book. Well, third now. Dark Days is my fave. Because it really gives a sense of the deep love Val has for Skulduggery, and what lengths she'll go to for him. And it brings out her independence.
ReplyDeleteCalidae, are you Jaden's brother?
ReplyDelete[I made a character called Jaden Dark]
Hello?
ReplyDeleteDon't press the big red button...
ReplyDeleteI know. It's spelt Benct
ReplyDeleteErr.... Bengt, I have never heard of him. Maybe we're long lost siblings.
ReplyDeleteHi. My name is Connor Trinton. My abilities are that I can control all liquids. Even blood inside people
ReplyDeleteRight, well, thats a teeny tiny bit disturbing.
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you!
Oooooh! so it's kinda like water bending from Avatar: Last Airbender?
ReplyDeleteI thought you were an elemental?
ReplyDeleteJubilance, are you refering to the movie or the cartoon series?
ReplyDeleteCARTOON! THE MOVIE FAILED EPICALLY
ReplyDeleteI KNOW RIGHT!!
ReplyDeleteIm so angry at them.
ITS UNFAIR.
I didn't dare watch the movie.
ReplyDeleteCali, I jst wanted to go up to M. Night Shamallama, or whatevr his name is, and kill him... painfully
ReplyDeleteMY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.
ReplyDeleteBut, he is known for making AWFUL movies, except for one, I think...
Haha yea... That's why they kept on saying it was produced/directed or whatever by him... cuz he apperently did a good job on something...
ReplyDeletebut this one just crossed the line of horrible movies... I don't think I've ever been more dissapointed EVER...
not ever for Harry Potter HBP
Sorry... I'm ranting...
ReplyDelete:P
I dont know how he's still making movies. Are people BLIND!?
ReplyDeleteWHY!!!
But yes. Its called the sixth sense of something, I cant remember, I havent seen it...
I always rant.
ReplyDeleteIts annoying, even for me.
Sorry, just read a story about the DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL on stuff.co.nz.
ReplyDeleteIts an NZ site.
GAHH OMG THE SHORT STORY!!1 *fangirls*
ReplyDeletehaha!
ReplyDeleteIT IS AMAZING
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI expected it to be fantastic - I wasnt let down :)
ReplyDeletehaha
ReplyDeleteIt was really awesome :)
*yawn* I'm tired...
THAT WAS AWESOME
ReplyDeleteI loved the ending :P
ReplyDeleteYeah :)
ReplyDeleteOnly thing is, I do enjoy a good fight scene. Or something with a bit more laugh out loud Skulduggery-Valkyrie conversations.
BUT it is still AMAZING.
Now I want to know about the eight other potential aapocalypses..
ReplyDeleteThat was fantastic Derek!
Haha yes!
ReplyDeleteDerek! You should make other short stories about the other apocalypses that could've happened!
Please!
ReplyDeleteHello universe. Am I alone right now? Yes? Well then.
ReplyDeleteMYCROFT IS AWESOME!!!!!! *echoes*
Though, the more time he spends writing short stories, the less time he spends writing book 8....
ReplyDeleteMycroft? is in Sherlock?
ReplyDeleteCali, Yeah.... good point
ReplyDeleteAnd, Derek does have a life. Hes probably busy enjoying christmas. And eating, and stuff.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness...
ReplyDeleteJust when I thought things couldn't get any more epic!
Magnificent story, Derek! You'll be pleased to know that it is the 22nd, at 4:06pm in Australia and so far the world hasn't ended. Personally, I never thought it would, but I'm glad to hear that Skulduggery and Val's continuing efforts to prevent the apocalypse have proved successful.
Anyway, thank younger posting such an epic story! Glad to hear from you again, master Derek, and your story has broken the epica-o-meter yet again. (as always, I suppose)
Thank you for posting!
Yep. As in Sherlock.
ReplyDeleteAnd hello, miss Rosella! I'm Ember.
ReplyDeleteumm, no offense Rosella, but its not the 22nd.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, and HI!
ReplyDeleteIm Calidae :)
Normally, I would be Silver, but I met another Silver, who's now my twin, so I'm now Ember.
ReplyDeleteHaha Mycroft is pretty awesome...
ReplyDeleteBut he's also really... Mycrofty...
There's realy no other word for him
haha
Really Mycrofty... Yeah, I think that should be put in the dictionary.
ReplyDeleteHe is AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteAnd hilarious.
And mad.
Isn't he lovely? Isn't he wonderful? Isn't he precious? I know he is. Less than a minute old, but not really, because that would be weird.
ReplyDeleteYes!
ReplyDeleteMycrofty
(MHY-krof-tee)
Verb
to act like Mycroft
If you know where that came from, you get ten bonus points, which means absolutely nothing.
ReplyDeleteI thought Mycrofty was an adjective?
ReplyDeleteThe verb would be Mycroftiate.
ReplyDeleteOh yea... haha there's my grammar knowledge for you...
ReplyDeleteNo, I think I'm Mycroftiating right now anyway. I think it deserves a capital letter, btw.
ReplyDeleteWe'll have to create this word and then send it to the Oxford people to get it published in the dictionary...
ReplyDeletexD :P
haha
THAT would be funny.
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY!
ReplyDeleteYou know, the other day I was trying to do Mycroft's umbrella swing thing, and 1. I whacked my nose really hard and 2. The umbrella flew across the room and everyone looked at me.
HAHA! i just don't even try... I know that i'm gonna mess up if I do... n that'd be reeally awkward...
ReplyDeletehaha
I have been trying for about three days now. IT'S NOT WORKING! I will write Mark Gatiss a long letter asking him for instructions.
ReplyDeleteSmooth, Ember. Real smooth.
ReplyDeleteI'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
ReplyDeleteMy concert was successful. I didn't trip on my face once.
Isn't it just?
ReplyDeleteHI VALKYRIE!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDo you know how to do Mycroft's umbrella thing?
And congratulations!
Hey Val :)
ReplyDeletehaha
ReplyDeleteHi Valkyrie!
n Congratulations...! I think...?
I had to play two instruments for my concert... Cello and viola.
ReplyDeleteBECAUSE I'M JUST SO AWESOME.
My grandpa didn't even recognise me when I walked past him because I was - and still am - all dressy.
Valkyrie, are you still there?
ReplyDeleteOh, you are, sorry.
ReplyDeleteIPLAY THE VIOLIN TOO! HIGH VIRTUAL FIVE!
HIGH VIRTUAL FIVE BACK!
ReplyDeleteShe said viola :P
ReplyDeleteClose enough.
ReplyDeletefirst?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete