My Christmas morning got off to a terrifying start.
Christmas Eve, you see, is the night when Laura and Katie come over. It's become sort of a tradition around here. They come over, we exchange presents, they go away with something really really expensive and I stay at home with something really really cheap. Usually a mug of some kind. But this year, Laura excelled herself. "What do you get the man who has everything?" she wondered. "Oh, I know. A Pac-Man alarm clock. Obviously."
So I naively set the alarm when I went to bed, planning on being up for about ten on Christmas morning. Nothing like a nice lie-in, I figured.
So there I was. Asleep. Dreaming of fluffy things you dream of when you're asleep. And then... oh dear God... The loudest, most abrupt alarm call ever blasted into my ear, the Pac-Man theme HAMMERING my tender, tender ear-drums as I woke suddenly and violently, thrashing about to visions of giant yellow circles chasing me through a maze.
Thank you, Laura. I am now terrified of my alarm. Thank you so much.
An hour later I was at my parents' house, ignoring everyone except my little niece Sophie, to whom I presented a huge Mickey and Minnie Mouse...
Presents were exchanged, and for once I got GOOD stuff. My mother dragged the heaviest punchbag you could buy into the living room, dumped it on the floor and gestured that it was for me before collapsing into a very dignified heap of exhaustion. My brother and sisters got me a smaller punchbag (the cheap kind) but that's okay. They did their best. And let's face it- it's a darn sight better than the bath matts they got me last year.
Then there was some visiting of the relatives, a part of Christmas I used to hate but now I enjoy (well, mostly). I usually use it as an excuse to just talk about me and how great I am. My aunts and uncles and cousins love that. They say they don't, but I know they do. I read between the lines. It's one of my gifts.
Then it was back to the parents' place, where my OTHER nieces joined us, and we had Christmas dinner and I got to watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special. I actually didn't think it was the best Christmas Special they'd ever had, even though Matt Smith is now officially my favourite Doctor ever, but it was saved by a wonderful final scene with Amy Pond. I love Amy Pond. Amy Pond rules.
And then I came home, and signed 13 copies of Death Bringer.
When my publishers sent me the books to sign for the competition winners they neglected to send me any copies of the latest book- so if any of you winners have received your prizes yet, you will have noticed you're one book short! Fear not- I am on the case, and will be personally sending you the latest book as soon as the Post Office reopens.
I've also been going through the entries to the Australia/NZ competition. I have a few possible choices for the female Australian character, but the NZ male character still hasn't been decided. Kiwis, you have a week to dream up someone new before I have to choose. Granted, I haven't gone through ALL of the entries yet, so I may have missed the perfect male character, but you still have a chance to win- so get to it!
And so, to end this Blog entry, I figured I'd post two more pictures of my cats. This is one of them, in a box.
And this is another one, who has found a fantastic new sleeping place in my sock drawer.
Merry Christmas, my loyal minions.
Monday, December 26, 2011
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«Oldest ‹Older 2201 – 2400 of 4881 Newer› Newest»Hello Gerald! *ray of sunshine burst out of self*
*Stares at lizard* I'll call you Lizzy. Lizzy the Lizard.
Oh dear. I do hope Sparky is alright. *pokes Sparky with stick*
*opens eyes weakly*
My head...
I can't see.
*wipes blood off face*
I think we need to do something about this...
*passes out again*
Gerald!
You missed the end of the movie.
Oh, what jolly good fun! *rainbow bursts out of face*
Gerald?
Uhhh....
My head hurts...
I think it's still bleeding...
What movie, Izz? Is it Wolfman? I like that movie. I like it when the man eats the fence.
Head wounds always bleed a lot
*paints a purple lizard on Eve*
Earlier, Amanda, Peren, and I decided to play hangman (you know, where you guess the letters and stuff). So I wrote: PEREN IS A REALLY HUGE POOP LIZARD!
You should dinfect it too. You have no idea where that wall's been.
May I take a sample? *samples blood*
*Starts wrapping Sparky's head in bandages, soon she starts to look like a mummy.*
Ooh! I like this lizard! I'll name it Wolfman! Can I also have a poop lizard?
Please only wrap my forehead.
Why would I disinfect a blood sample?
Haha. No it was the other movie I was talking about earlier. I saw the Wolfman on my birthday the other year!!
My friends still hate me for that...
not the sample. The wound.
Can you wrap MY head, Christy? I think I have a concussion.
Oooh, blood! *runs over to Sparky, then trips* *while falling, my leg hits a nail and starts gushing blood, then my head gets cut and cracks against the wall*
Uh oh...
*looks over and sees another person standing there* *ducks behind Sparky in fear*
Oh Val.
You never answered my question when we were talking about eyeballs.
Have you seen The Crow?
I would love to watch that movie again. It's motivated me to do many things. *eats fence*
May I take a sample, Valkyrie? *samples Valkyrie's blood*
AARRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Blood and gore it's fantastic.
I think I needed that blood...
AOW AOW AOW AOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
*laughs*
Blood from a stone!
I know, right? Fantastic.
No, Sparky, I need it more than you do. *poisons blood*
Val? The Crow?
*smacks Eve* Give that back!
No, I've never seen that, Izz.
AND THERE'S A SCARY PERSON STANDING THERE! *hides from Caelan* YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY BLOOD! IT DOESN'T EVEN TASTE GOOD! ASK DUSK! HE WOULD KNOW!
Oh well. Val it has several eyeball scenes...
No, Valkyrie, I need it. *takes more blood with knife*
I'll need your blood too, Izz. *corners Izz*
*screams as Eve steals blood* STOP IT! STOP CUTTING ME! STOP ACTING LIKE MELANCHOLIA!
*sigh* there's none left silly! *floats backwards through wall*
Verpiss Dich Caelan!
Well on a happy note it's
6 hours, 54 minutes, 39 seconds for me till the world ends. Or till my brothers just rob the woman next door blind. And i an going to join them. *Smiles*
Don't worry, Val, it's only blood. Uh-oh. I think I got a kidney.
Aw. No blood from Izz. *turns to Christine*
Eve. It's called the Red Cross.
I better get your blood before the world ends, then.
Umm.. You see.. I got to run. Bye!
The Red Cross? Naw, I got kicked out. See, I tried the blood, then put it back, so...
feiern das Ende der Welt!
Dammit. I was so close.
What are you saying, Izz? Is that German?
Eve! Stop it! Your acting like Melancholia, cutting me and stuff! And then your acting like Caelan because your trying to steal my blood! *punches her in the face so she falls over* *takes back blood and organs* *has Skulduggery take me to the Sanctuary*
there's another thing. It's called Breaking and Entering.
Ja! Celebrate!
vielleicht..............
Oooooow. I think I need to stop sampling blood.
Ich wünschte, ich könnte dein Blut zu nehmen.
Deutschland für immer!!!!
Aber du bist ein Geist, so kann ich nicht.
Ja! Ich liebe Skulduggery Pleasant!
Ja, schade
Mach dir keine Sorgen, ich werde einen Weg finden, um Sie in voller Leben zu bringen und dann werde ich Ihre Blutprobe. * böse Superhirn Moment *
Ich auch!!
Yeah. or we could stop typing Deutsch and look for my grave.
Ich hoffe wirklich, dass ich den Wettbewerb zu gewinnen. Das würde mir das Gefühl, etwas ganz Besonderes.
*is lying on floor, dead*
Did I mention that I don't need blood to function?
*stands up menacingly*
*falls to floor*
Maybe I do need blood...
SPEAK ENGLISH, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!
*comes back, fully healed* *stays away from Eve*
I'll give you back your blood, Sparky. It's a bit poisoned, though.
Ja. How mant times did you enter? What character/s?
I don't think I want to take everyone's blood sample anymore.
Now I just want to take YOURS.
*leans in expectantly*
Wait, Izz. Just wait a moment...
I'm tellin ya. find the grave maybe there's some still dried to my bones.
Wait, I want to see if Valkyrie knows what to say...
She's more likely to hit you.
Who's blood is Eve still wanting?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
*repairs window then smashes it again*
Eve aka a certain Vampire?
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY 'WELL... IT'S PROGRESS I SUPPOSE'!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Eve, STOP IT! Are you being Melancholia again? Or Caelan?
!!!!!!
Yunow the name caelan means slender?
MELANCHOLIA AHHHHHH!!!!
.....I won't get angry next time, I swear.
*growls at conflicting edits*
That's a creepy thing for the Caelan to mean. It really is. *shudders*
...Ew. I think I entered about fifteen characters a few were Orenda Magan, Rana Zest, Voltrix Malicia, Mahogany Reen, Monica Quake, Euridice Quoll, Charmaine Chorus, Olivine Granite, Tassal Sly, Anselma Gauze, Evelyn Reed...all I can remember.
Wait, if Caelan means slender, that's even creepier for me, on account that my dad is in a band called "Slender Means"...
Oh, and Taryn Hill.
You're dad is in a band? My brother's in a band. It's called Nowhere Slowly. If I was in a band, I would have called it Terminal Two.
Huh. Weird. My dad used to be in a band. It was called Little Missnomer.
I entered three. Lyra Blue, Jay Haych and Lilanthane Verdant.
Lyra is who I want to be. Jay is who my friend should be. Lilanthane is based on me.
*gets up slowly and slumps against wall*
What *cough* poison?
*coughs up blood that's green,swears and slides down wall again*
Unk...
I tried to be in a band once. It didn't last long but we called ourselves The Little Grey Doves.
That's normally the case. I don't know which of my characters is me, because I love them all. I hate to brag, but I am an expert at taking names.
Except for Tassal Sly. I'm not too sure about that one.
Sparky. Surely you can just electrocute all the poisonous bacteria?
I entered two characters.
Sparky Braginski and Hayley Skirmish.
Uh-oh. Hold on, Sparky. I must have an antidote SOMEWHERE......
I can think of a name for myself....
Want to know why we called the band that?
???
I can't concentrate. On account of my blood being green and my stomach...
*looks down at stomach*
Disintegrating.
I like that name.
Found the antidote *force-feeds Sparky the antidote* Uh-oh. Wrong antidote. *watches Sparky float into the air*
Why did you call the band that?
*tries to speak but only chokes on the green substance*
Gawk...
*punches Eve's face as I float past*
Well, look on the bright side, Sparky. Your blood's not green anymore.
....It's purple. Oops
Help me...
Ouch. That hurt. Here's another one. *force feeds antidote* *stomach is replaced with a unicorn*
Because the white dove is a symbol of peace. But peace is always tainted (whether by war or dishonesty or simply because it's not complete).
and when white and black mix.
you get grey.
It was my idea. and I'm proud of it.
*sees horn pierce my body*
Ow...
Is this the one you're looking for?
*holds up rainbow coloured hyperdermic needle*
As well you should be. I like the symbolism. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to kill this unicorn and give Sparky a stomach.
Oh, yes. Thank you *takes needle and feeds it to Sparky* Um. *extracts needle and injects it into Sparky.
If I could do the character competition, I would enter Ivy Animosity, Anomaly Despair, Bonny Aspire, Audacious Beguile, Bezel Bonafide, Asininity Blunt, Artifice Cadaver, Saturnine Bilious, Zinnia Batty, Bier Arbor, Basal Appease, and Serendipity.
I was the drummer...
There! Back to normal!
Wonderful!
You can drum? Cool.
I like those characters. Except bilious means sick. Anyway.
Indeed. Sparky, are you okay?
*gets ups*
Thank you for giving me the antidote, but there is still the small problem of the horn that is driven through my torso.
I will continue being dead now.
*slumps*
I actually can't drum. But I tried valiently. (only one of us could actually play our instrument at the time)
I have now taken up Harmonica.
Oh. Uh. Izz. Val. On three, pull. One two three...PULL *everyone pulls horn out*
What happened to the rest of the unicorn?
Bilious also means gloomy or something like that. And I say Serendipity because that's my dog's name. It means 'chance'. We named her Serendipity because there's a restraunt in New York called Serendipity, though...
Well done, people!
How long have you been doing harmonica?
Gloomy...didn't know that.
Oh, uh, one sec. *stiches wound*
And it's all stitched up *nods proudly*
Somewhere under a year. I can play The Camptown Races, My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean and Amazing Grace.
I think Amazing Grace sounds the coolest because it uses the higher notes. I'm not religious though.
.....I've only heard the third one.
I haven't gotten up to blues harp yet.
*gets up*
Thank you.
*sees hornless purple necromancer unicorn*
Uh oh...
*grabs the unicorns face and shocks it*
Uh oh withdrawn.
hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I just realised.
I have a cooking/sewing teacher called Danielle Venaski. and a science teacher called Rab Kusmierski.
...What's blues harp?
Take that, necromancer unicorn!
And......?
The kind of harmonica playing you hear in blues music. it sounds really cool.
My bonnie lies over the ocean, my bonnie lies over the sea, my bonnie lies over the ocean, so bring back my bonnie to--
I'M ALL LOST IN THE SUPERMARKET, I CAN NO LONGER SHOP HAPILY! I CAME IN HERE FOR A SPECIAL OFFER, A GUARANTEE PERSONALITY!
well. Sparky Braginski
is kind of similar.
Oh Val...
Sorry everyone. I gotta go!
Sparky, say bye to Gerald wont you?
Oh. Cool.
Ah. I see. Well in that case, I have a drama teacher call Zita Splawinski.
Are you cereal?
Hmmmm. Well, just stay there, Val. Someone'll find you.
It's a song....
Am I what? Does that mean serious. Yes, I am.
Well I'm Toast!
Waht's a song? My head hurts.
Is it creepy that I actually just painted a ton of eyeballs and bubbles? They look creepy, too...
Lost in The Supermarket.
The Clash
Oh right my head really fel heavy i feel kuds=rrtwe lke i'm going o fsint help me palease someone
Anyway.
I gtg
1st
1st
Like now....
1st
Naw I'm atcaluly fnie jsut a haeadhce taht's all.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Grrr
DAMMIT I'M GOOD!!!
I dedicate this page to my absence!
Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bye I'm going too.
*mutters* That's a stupid dedication... I would've dediated it to the best thing in the world... ME!
Bye Izz! Don't get lost in the supermarket! Be sure to shop happily, and get that special personality there!
Well, it's just us now.
Would you be happy if I won the comp Val V?
*grins evilly* Hello, Sparky.
*rolls eyes*
Why do I like you?
Because you're fun.
*shakes head*
Sorry.
Hi I'm back!
You weren't gone for long.
I know. I never really got thanked for nursing a certain pebble-exploder back to health...
Even though I poisoned you in the first place.
I did.
I thanked you multiple times.
Oh! You did? I must see them. Hold on.
Last page.
....It seems as though you are correct, Sparky. Bye!
Val V?
Bye Eve.
OH DAMMIT.
Eve if you read this I forgot to ask if you were staying up tonight.
Yeah but I won't be on here.
Probably. Bye.
Dang.
BRB.
I'm here. I'm just, you know, painting. I have been for quite a while now.
What are you painting now?
The same picture. But it has eyeballs, bubbles, skulls, and four leaf clovers all over it. It takes time to paint.
I'd like to see this when it's finished.
But I did ask you a question.
How am I going to finish this fanfic in 7 hours and 22 minutes?
...When I say it like that it looks like I'll finish it easy...
*looks up from painting* What was it? If it was would I be happy, I suppose the answer is yes.
Bear in mind, I am terrible at tellin people I'm excited for them. However, I don't have much practice. I'm used to having everyone excited for me.
Suppose?
Eh, it'll do for now.
I'm serious about people being excited for me all the time. Like, it NEVER stops.
*sighs* Why must I be so amazing at everything?!
Well... You aren't amazing at dodging my speedy punches.
*punches her nose*
See?
*dodges back and sweeps arms out wide*
(mumbling) Brainwave...
*touches fingers on ground and, sweating with the effort, lifts up fingers creating a barrier between Val V and Sparky*
*grunts*
Ngh...
I'm not joking, Sparky, there's something wrong with me...
Brb
*drops shield*
That, is really hard.
And there isn't something wrong with you. I swear, the only hint that people haven't been amazed at me being so good at is swimming.
I'm really not kidding. Froggy and I did a sailing camp together and she's done it before and we overheard one of the trainers calling me a natural tacker.
And then we went sailing again.
This is the bit where everything went wrong. Another thing about me i that I'm prone to severe head injuries.
I was sailing and we went to tack, but we jibbed by accident (I'm sure I'm not spelling these right) and the bar swung into my head, knocked me out of the boat. And then it capsized.
Not kidding about the head injury thing.
Last year I gave myself a concussion by standing up. Into a table.
Can we speak over email, please...?
Yes.
I'm here again.
I noticed. Just check your e-mail one last time.
Val V?
Sorry, I went to put my pajamas on. And I couldn't stay in my bedroom, because it's practically as cold in here as it is outside. And earlier it was snowing. *shivers uncontrollably*
I gotta go...
Bye.
*hugs Val V*
E-mail.
Bye.
Bye! *hugs back*
*is freezing to death*
What a cooinsidense that I should refresh the page now.
But only briefly.
Here, have a scarf.
*hands Val V black scarf*
*winks*
Thanks. *takes the scarf and continues to shiver* You know, if I open my bedroom door, the rest of my house gets colder?
*smiles* I've positioned my Christmas card from Derek on my booksehelf so when I wake up it's the first thing I see :) I see a drawing of Skulduggery, the words "To Bella", and Derek's signature. It's a good thing to wake up to... :)
That sounds like a bad idea.
Glad you like the scarf.
Another fantastic thing about me is that I have impeccable timing.
Not Skullduggery's nick o' time. I come right when you need me.
*shrugs* I suppose. Now I'm curled into a ball under my blankets on my bed. Including my Skulduggery blanket.
And your Jack one?
Okay, I'm back for good now.
Like GOOD good.
The one night of the year my mum doesn't care what time I got to sleep.
*pours self a creaming soda*
Cheers.
YAY THERE IS NO ONE HERE!!!
Not one...
On the last night of the year...
I'll spend it writing.
Not that that is bad, it's just...
I expected people to be here Y'know?
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