Thursday, December 15, 2011

Usual Chatter Here

Because I have nothing to actually SAY in this post, I will instead put up some amusing pictures.




And finally, because some of you noticed the Game of Thrones book in my Iron Man pic...

5,000 comments:

1 – 200 of 5000   Newer›   Newest»
Rebella Sadistic said...

first

Rebella Sadistic said...

hey Derek, i was wondering who your preferences were for the movie?

Tanith Low The Awesome! said...

Me too Rebella! My sister's hoping there's open auditions so she can try out for it. :) Loving the pics! They made me LOL!

Lilly Edogawa said...

Spam in here :D ok, but honestly: "Skulduggery's long lost brother. Who is also half-unicorn"

x'D Love this idea

Lexie said...

The long lost half-unicorn brother of Skulduggery. Where are crazy fanfiction authors to expand an idea when you need them?
The pictures made me laugh XD
And I'm still looking for an old woman to say 'Ni' to so that she'll give me a shrubbery for you, Derek.

Kallista Pendragon- The Beautiful Godess Queen said...

LOL Love the pics Derek! :D

Octaboona Ambrosius- Paragon of the Purple Horde said...

Those pics are so hilarious.

And I'm so using the half unicorn long lost brother of Skulduggery that can use Elemental and Adept magic in a story somewhere.

Venice Rain said...

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD


*cough*

Octa - god yeah.

lionkiller264 said...

funny llooooll

ValkryieCain said...

haha! i love the 1st one!! I really love skulduggery pleasant! i've read all the books and draw like a million pictures of skulduggery characters (i love art too!)

ValkryieCain said...

Im form Ireland too! :) Ireland rocks <3

Crystal Darkflair said...

Oooooooo another competition :D
Good Luck all Australiminion and new zealiminions!
Btw Ever day I'M pufflin. ;D

TheRealValkyrie said...

Awwwww, that Puffin looks exactly like me stuffed Puffin. He's called Peter.

Hey Derek! I would like to suggest you awesome places to go to for your next Germany tour (hehehe, yeah, I know). Acceptable locations are: Hamburg, L├╝beck, Bad Schwartau.
Never heard of the last two? Well, they're not that famous abroad. But they're close to me home. Also Bad Schwartau has a veeeeeeeery nice school called the "Leibniz-Gymnasium" where you could have a book signing. *cough*meoldschool*cough*

But I guess you won't do that anyway. I guess Hamburg would also be fine to me. Then see ye next year. I'll be the one with the screwed knee. ;)

nights.raven said...

I like the pics! Really funny!

Chloe G said...

hi peeps

nights.raven said...

hi chloe

nights.raven said...

im gonna be on the newest post

Nivek96 said...

I'm not regretting this post

try out my forum-and why cant we irish skullduggery fans have a create-a-character competition

http://s11.zetaboards.com/The_Santuary/index/

Vita Song said...

as I said in previous post....
well done on the use of Monty Python quotes
*patonback*

Vita Song said...

I'll have you know that you now have single ladies in my head.
I hope your happy

Robin Snowscar said...

erry day I'm puffilin' imma start saying that LOL

Thalia Jane - Blogland Detective said...

PFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT

PUFFINS

Derek, those truly were amusing pictures. So very, very funny.


Also, I promise to leave you more comments because I've been neglecting the blog, and I don't like that. Not one bit. I LOVE this blog.

IzzFizz said...

I've never actually been this high up in the comments...
I feel special!!!
:)

IzzFizz said...

Oh Derek!
Have you SEEN that tv show Sherlock?
It's so super duper epiclly awesome!!!!!
I can't wait for the second series! Have you guys in the UK seen it already or did you see it the same time we aussies did?

Random Comments said...

I must agree with IzzFizz. Sherlock is great.

About the post below... I notice that Americans are excluded... AGAIN. But its all a mistake, right? You're sending all your Ameriminions free copies of The End of the World? (Or at least letting us have a way of getting them?)
And I STILL don't have Death Bringer :(

Random Comments said...

Sherlock comes from the UK. It was aired in July 2010.

lego said...

hello?

Kimberly Vex said...

Haha, the first one is genius! Though,when I think of puffins I think of fancy looking penguins. Eh, maybe it's just me.

(>^.^)>Kimber<(^.^<)

Saoirse Equus said...

PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA!

DEREK! YOU MADE MY DAY!!!!!! I'm so putting that Puffin as my background.

OH! DEREK!!!! I HAVE A QUESTION!

There does seem to be a lot of confusion of late on Valkyries hair color. Is her hair black? or is it Dark Brown?

Saoirse Equus said...

Also, I never got to formally thank you. You see, 2 months ago I had the amazing oppertunity to spend a day with Becky. You're the reason we're so close, like sisters, despite the insane distance between Oregon, USA and England. If I could give you a hug right now I would. So thank you, thank you THANK YOU! I would elaborate some more but Becky is currently writing you a letter about the entire day we spent together. :)

Also, I had a little fan girl moment while in london when I saw an entire window display in Waterstones dedicated to Death Bringer. Cuz ya know, we dont have any thing like that in America... yet. C:

Alice Rose ♥ x said...

skulduggeryknowitall.wordpress.com
^ check it out~

DEREK YOU ROCK.
that is all.
plus, i really really love alice and darquesse! <3

my hair is now dyed black w/ red streaks in honor of darquesse <3

HAHAHA. I IS RANDOM.
C:
Alice Rose x

IzzFizz said...

Thanks Random Comments.
Damn you UK people who get to see all your shows five months before we do!!
(yes I've been researching and counting)
All your awesome shows take to long to be seen on our southern TVs.
Thank the big cloud dude for the internet ;P

IzzFizz said...

Have you ever played that game where you have to pick out of three people/characters which to marry, which one to go on a year long cruise with and which one to have a one night stand with?

My friends..........



They left me with no choice! Scapegrace was the only one remotely human!
Now they wont let it go!!!
(my life is over) *sigh*

Nicole said...

THANK YOU FOR THE GAME OF THRONES PICTURE! DEREK YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! <3 I'd post more, but school calls XP

Nicole said...

*And I'm writing a book report on SKP 6-- we have to write at least 5 journal entries from the point of view of a character. I chose the more logical and obvious option of Valkyrie, and I hope I'm doing you justice. I'll be sure to send you the finished product at some point in time... It'd be my first letter to you, as well, so that's an added bonus... XD

omlair said...

I love that star wars one. But I don't get the game of thrones one. is it because you feel like you need to take a Xanax after reading ever chapter? eesh!

Fhaora Tarmikos said...

PUFFIN
Got to love star wars though, watching all six through next Monday. 13 hours of jedi!

Sparky Braginski said...

It's 5:30am on a Saturday morning. Should I get up and use my laptop to do this? Or wait till 6...

Bethany said...

Game of Thrones <3 Emilia Clarke is simply beautifully.

Nicole said...

I now have as my gmail chat status and pic "Erry day I'm Pufflin'"

Epicness.

<3 Golden God, please comment here... it would be fun to bypass everyone in the recent comments.

Sparky Braginski said...

http://insidesparkybraginskishead.blogspot.com/2011/12/there.html
http://insidesparkybraginskishead.blogspot.com/2011/12/there.html
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http://insidesparkybraginskishead.blogspot.com/2011/12/there.html
http://insidesparkybraginskishead.blogspot.com/2011/12/there.html

Molly said...

Gosh dang it, are you sure ameriminions cant... I know! I'll send my entry to my Austrailian friends, then they can enter for me and I will win! Yes! Well, maybe not cuz I havent talked to them in forever... sigh. I'll just... go and do.... christmas shopping... or something.... :(

Ah well! I was thrilled to see my name on the blog even though you werent specifically talking to me, still, I can pretend! :D

Tali said...

There's someone who goes to my school who just moved here from Australia! He has an accent and everything! So that totally counts, right? Yeah, it does.

Riki Fresh said...

Hahahahaha I love the Anarchy one. :D

Riki Fresh said...

And the droid one. I'm not a huge star wars fan but thats my favorite part of the series.

Adrasodos Dark said...

SNAP! 45th person!!!! my mom posted that star wars one, also! Snap

Adrasodos Dark said...

OH hey Derek? Yeah becuse this is the 46th post, and its like... three in the mornin' over there, well there's a freakishly large chance that you're gonna c this, right? Right. Yah. My question is: where the HELL do you get all the names for the people in your book from? I see like ghastly, or melancholy in my spelling book at school, and i'm like "I WANTED TO PICK THAT NAME."
but ive seeen that you have used ythology, alright... and when tenebrae as one of your lating vocab. words I screamed, scaring everyone in the room but....
Is your secret.... Dictionary.com?

Adrasodos Dark said...

Yeah... And in your honor (don't worry.. I don't know how it would be, but ill find something) when i get a new baby cat, I'm naming him NIGEL. IN YOUR HONOR.

Lois Lane said...

So I'm 100% confused as to what just happened in the comments. Oh well. Such is the natural order of life.

Also, Sherlock is a marvelous show! I am eagerly awaiting it's return!

...And when the End of the World is nigh, I shall send a small-ish flock of jubilant bees to retrieve a copy for me. They shall transcend all known laws of physics to bring me this books, as African swallows will sometimes transcend all known laws of physics to carry coconuts to the King of the Brits.

SilverMist said...

Hi
My story is cool.......
How does this work?..............

SilverMist said...

How do I get a photo?
Easy?

09Sienna_Pyre said...

HEY, DEREK!!!!!!!!!!!

now that I (hopefully) have your attention, do you remember when you were doing a book signing in Sheffield?
Do you remember two girls who couldn't think of ANYTHING to say, and you asked us to think of something?
Then, (to our eternal embarrassment) we asked what your favorite animal was? (nobody's going to let us forget that now)
THAT WAS ME!!!!
and my friend, obviously.
just thought that you might see this on the offchance you read it. but if you don't, oh well.
I may repost this if I ever get close to the top like I did yesterday.

09Sienna_Pyre said...

Oh, and I saw that some people were chatting about Sherlock a little up the page.
Sherlock is the world's most awesome TV show, and we in the UK saw it first, so hands off!!!
Just joking, it's so great that EVERYONE should get to watch it.

amelie espirt said...

my sister reading that book apparently its a bit graphic in description in some parts in the later books but those are hilarious

Mythology said...

Hey, Derek! When are you coming to NZ? It's an awsome place. A good place for views is the Hermatige Hotel in the south islandat Mt. Cook, so if you ever come here some time in the next three months...

09Sienna_Pyre said...

anybody else here?

09Sienna_Pyre said...

no?

09Sienna_Pyre said...

no?

lilian.thigh said...

The Game of Thrones cover. Just... the Game of Thrones cover. 8|

Though as the friend of many Art students, I do believe that second pic is bliddy awesome. ^^

Seems to be an almighty amount of spam going on nextdoor...

... Game of THRONES. D:

IzzFizz said...

Wow people really need to comment here...

IzzFizz said...

Everyone say something random!!!

Robin Snowscar said...

Sherlock Holmes - Played the game for the games own sake.
Marvellous, the pictures rock put them on facebook Derek, hope you don't mind.
SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT IS AWESOME!

09Sienna_Pyre said...

JEFF LIKES MONSTER MUNCH!!!!

sorry, but you said to say something random.

RIP sherlock holmes - or is it?

Thrust Ominous said...

hi

deylan9 said...

Hey, check out my youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/mrpurplepanda9?blend=1&ob=video-mustangbase

IzzFizz said...

Yep that's random alright Sienna!

or isn't it?

09Sienna_Pyre said...

Oh, believe me, it is. >:D
There is nothing more random than Jeff is.
And he doesn't actually like monster munch!

Amarantha Howling said...

Love the stormtropper one :)

Ivory Chains said...

So funny
I loved the one with the statues
"If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it..." LOL

Mar-Chu said...

*has come to the usual chatter*

The usual chatting's supposed to be here...but it's all on the other post.

Huh?

09Sienna_Pyre said...

Mar-Chu:
Well, yeah, I suppose so. But since when have the minions of the Golden God, the Munchkin Army, the Ninja Leprechauns, the "Lunatics and Weirdos" ever actually listened to what he tells us to do? You only need to look at the beginning posts of this blog to see THAT.
And the other post has loads of people posting their stuff on it, so people are more likely to comment on it there.

Kimberly Vex said...

Ha, still love that puffin picture.

Robin Snowscar said...

Ha brilliant max blog LOL

IzzFizz said...

Hello Robin. *makes a courtly and respectable bow*

*glances at Phoenix*

*makes insulting gesture*

Robin Snowscar said...

Oh dear, *curtseys and laughs*

Phoenix Nightslayer said...

*slaps iz*


i broke the blog,,


someone had to do it..

IzzFizz said...

I like how this one says Usual Chatter Here.
But no one has filled the first page.

Robin Snowscar said...

Indeed Phoenix

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

I refuse to stay here, because I want to be there when Derek posts next... BYE!

Robin Snowscar said...

the irony Izz

IzzFizz said...

*full on punches Phoenix*

*laughs with Robin*

Robin Snowscar said...

bye Val
*stop hitting eachother, folds arms*

Robin Snowscar said...

stop hitting eachother *folds arms*

Robin Snowscar said...

better..

Phoenix Nightslayer said...

izz go away

IzzFizz said...

*walks to other side of room,*

*leans against wall*

*folds own arms and glares from across the room*

Phoenix Nightslayer said...

robin unless i can get my internet to work on my ipod im gonna hav to go

Phoenix Nightslayer said...

so val leaves and then everyone has a probelm with me?

Robin Snowscar said...

Okay Phoenix I've gotta go soon anyway it's twenty to one (late night, early morning)

Phoenix Nightslayer said...

unless i dont comment again bye

IzzFizz said...

*continues to glare*

Robin Snowscar said...

I don't have a problem with you

Phoenix Nightslayer said...

*kisses robin* good night

Robin Snowscar said...

Bye..

Robin Snowscar said...

*giggles*

IzzFizz said...

*mouths at Phoenix*
I do

Robin Snowscar said...

What's that Izz?

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

I never realised how much patience I don't have... DEREK I SWEAR YOU HAD BETTER POST SOMETHING OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!!!!

IzzFizz said...

*sigh*

I'm feeling moody today.....


I was supposed to be going to melbourne today.

IzzFizz said...

Will that go in the Nye and kitten smoothie I wonder val?

Robin Snowscar said...

The grinch haha

Robin Snowscar said...

Please don't bring that up Izz..

IzzFizz said...

*laughs evilly*

Robin Snowscar said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3eVzStZAjQ&feature=related
The grinch ^

Thanks

Robin Snowscar said...

Thanks a bunch Izz

IzzFizz said...

*sings*
I live in the middle of a combat zone!

Robin Snowscar said...

Mhmm well imma go before the smoothie thing comes back around.

Robin Snowscar said...

Is Val even here?

IzzFizz said...

*continues singing*
K-I-A in the, suuuuper--maaarket!

IzzFizz said...

*song changes*

Don't sit down!!!

Robin Snowscar said...

Okay, I'm going, bye Izz!

IzzFizz said...

Awwwwwww.
Bye Robin *hugs*

Robin Snowscar said...

*hugs*

IzzFizz said...

*continues to sing*

IzzFizz said...

I wonder where Sparky is....

IzzFizz said...

*looks up stalking techniques*

Kimberly Vex said...

So bored...

IzzFizz said...

*reads artical on the Uncyclopedia*

*hits self over the head with rusty wooden spoon*

IzzFizz said...

*sigh*

Still insane....



*continues reading*

IzzFizz said...

*finds useful info*

The seven rules of stalking:
1. Take a DEEEP breath before, during and after stalking

2. Do not get caught

3. Do not get caught

4. Do not get caught

5. Do not get caught

6. Do not get caught

7. Do not get caught

Kimberly Vex said...

That's some foolproof advice.

IzzFizz said...

*sigh*

*takes a deep breath*

*Starts trying to stalk Sparky*

IzzFizz said...

Oh! look someone's on!!

Hi Kim!

Kimberly Vex said...

yo.

IzzFizz said...

Would you throw a water bottle at me if you caught me stalking you?

Kimberly Vex said...

Water bottle, hammer, whatever I have closest to me.

IzzFizz said...

Damn.

IzzFizz said...

Do you know any self-defense techniques?

Sparky Braginski said...

Aw...

I missed the blog breaking.

Sparky Braginski said...

Hello?

Kimberly Vex said...

I wish I did. The only technique I know is to run as fast as you can away from the bad guy. :/

And hey Sparky.

IzzFizz said...

SPARKY!
I have some questions...

16. Where do you live?

17. Do you keep a spare key in case you're locked out in the area around the door?

18. If so, where?

19. Why won't you give me a spare key?

20. Where in the house is your bedroom located?

21. How many people live with you?

22. Do you have a guard dog or any other form of security system?

23. Do you think bunnies or guinea pigs are cuter?

Kimberly Vex said...

Why start with number 16?

IzzFizz said...

Ok. Good kim. very good.

IzzFizz said...

because there are 82 questions....

Are you a fast runner Kim?

Sparky Braginski said...

16. Not your business,

17. I do.

18. Not telling.

19. Why do you think?

20. Upstairs.

21. One.

22. No.

23. Bunnies.

Kimberly Vex said...

Not as fast as some of my friends but fast enough I guess...wait a minute. Where is this going exactly?

IzzFizz said...

Hmmmm.

Are your windows reinforced or easy to break?

Robin Snowscar said...

BOO!
HAHA, you'd thought you'd gotten rid of me... I am actually going though bye

Sparky Braginski said...

...

I just read the previous comments...

*glances at Izz*

Okay, seriously, ask me more questions and I will unbleep my swearing at you.

Sparky Braginski said...

She asked another question.

Sparky Braginski said...

Last chance.

Kimberly Vex said...

They're super easy to break Izz. I've placed a hammer on the sill for your convenience. Oh, and I have a spare key hidden in the pot of the plant to make things easier.
Do you want my address too?

IzzFizz said...

Don't worry kim. Just answer the questions.

61. What subjects do you take at school and when are then on during the day?

62. What school do you go to?

63. Who do you sit next to?

64. Do you think they could outrun my car?

65. Do you think they could survive a car "accident"?

Robin Snowscar said...

Izz, you are an odd one, night guys

IzzFizz said...

Also:

34. Do you like flowers in the mail?

35. Do you like chocolate in the mail?

36. Do you like dead puppies in the mail?

Sparky Braginski said...

*grabs Izz's throat*

You blew it you little fuck.

Sparky Braginski said...

I WAS NOT KIDDING.

Kimberly Vex said...

61. English, Religion, Math, Literature, the works. It's the same schedule every day.

62. 'St. Not Your Concern'

63. A wimp and a fatty. (not lying there)

64. No

65. No

IzzFizz said...

Thanks Kim!

Don't worry I'll get the address. Last question:

Calm blue skies or my dark dank basement where no one can hear you scream?


And thankyou robin, i take that as a compliment.

IzzFizz said...

Awwwwww, come on Sparky! I'm a ghost. you could grab me if you tried!

IzzFizz said...

NOT!

Sparky Braginski said...

No.

Izz I no longer want anything to do with you.

I am going to precede lie she isn't here.

Yola Kim! How are you?

IzzFizz said...

But it you wish to do battle, Ninja Izz would be happy to ablige.

Kimberly Vex said...

Damn, that definitely is a tough one.
Skies vs. Basement

Let me think about that while I leave my front door wide open and put a gun next to the chair I'm going to cuff myself to.

Sparky Braginski said...

I am not enjoying this conversation at all...

I'll be here when hints get normal.

IzzFizz said...

You relise that's a cap gun that came with those plastic handcuffs Kim?

Sparky Braginski said...

*things

Kimberly Vex said...

Slightly unsettled, Sparky, but pretty good over all.

IzzFizz said...

I'm on my way Kim!

Sparky Braginski said...

Izz

is

a

creepo.

Sparky Braginski said...

*hides Kim*

Stupid mistake dude.

IzzFizz said...

I'm eating baked beans with a melon baller!

Sparky Braginski said...

*trying to make sense of anything*


Stupid world.

Kimberly Vex said...

This is by far the strangest conversation I've had on this blog.
And this is coming from a person who partook in a half-hour arguement over the plural of 'platypus'.

Sparky Braginski said...

That may well be true, but my conversations with Val V get pretty strange.

Like the time I tried to pronounce her name. (Which I got right)

Or this:


Join our picnic Ms Pleasant?

I don't think she's figured it out yet...

Ms Pleasant, I ask you once again to come and join our picnic.

Fine.
China *cough AMANDA cough* Pleasant please join our picnic.

Ms Pleasant? Your comment was published? That's good.

Yes MRS CHINA PLEASANT.

You are crazy MRS CHINA PLEASANT WHO LOVES AND IS MARRIED TO SKULDUGGERY.

Snozcombers and Dipperonies. Lame, boring and dull.

*yawns*

I expected more from you China Pleasant.


That one was pretty eldritch...

IzzFizz said...

I read that. It was hilarious!

Sparky Braginski said...

It was pretty funny.

IzzFizz said...

Yeah i had trouble understanding that so I just ignored it

IzzFizz said...

Oh!
BRC

Kimberly Vex said...

BRC

Wasn't that Bacon Rice Crisps or something?

IzzFizz said...

Bacon Rice Chips

Kimberly Vex said...

Close enough.

IzzFizz said...

BCB
Burnt Chrunchy Bits

Kimberly Vex said...

...right

IzzFizz said...

*sigh*

The conversation has ceased yto be interesting.

btw Platypuses

Kimberly Vex said...

Oh boy, don't let Sparky see that.

IzzFizz said...

Where is she anyway? I was supposed to be stalking her.

IzzFizz said...

And I've checked BOTH my dictionaries. It's platypuses

Kimberly Vex said...

That settles that.

And maybe Sparky's moved to another country to avoid your stalking.

IzzFizz said...

*cries*

IzzFizz said...

I hope not.

IzzFizz said...

*suddenly gets angry*

SPAAAAAARRRRKY!!!!

IzzFizz said...

YOU MOVE AND I WILL ONLY TRACK YOU DOWN!!

Kimberly Vex said...

Or she could be getting ready for your possible visit.

IzzFizz said...

maybe

Kimberly Vex said...

Why so into stalking? Did you happen to be around when Val V was stalking Derek for a time?

IzzFizz said...

I found some help for Sparky! (and yourself)
If you are being stalked!

Sneeze on the person stalking you. No one likes being sneezed on (although the person in question may just attempt to extract your sneeze juice and use it to clone you).

Walk around a small group of trees 14 times, wait and see what they do. It won't help you, but it's fun.

If you are a male, constantly walk into the ladies room and come out with lipstick and a wig on, same with females, and the men’s room.

Get on crowded busses, and wear big glasses. Then film yourself.

Carry around a video camera and film everything you see. Shove the camera into your stalker's face and ask what their favorite color is.

Start stalking your stalker

Invite the stalker to your house, knock them out, tie them up and throw them outside. They usually get the idea.

Start your own web cam channel and vid yourself 24/7 to boost your stalking fan club.

Leave. Now.

Adopt a rabbit (they're cute and fuzzy! It might just throw your stalker off)

Buy a machine gun and shoot anything behind you. (If it doesn't kill them, it will give them a subtle hint to move off and stalk some other poor person).

Run, its fun and it will tire them out.

Act like you're cool then fall off your chair

Do a glasses trick

Do a croaking sound

Say, "I know you're stalking me and I LIKE it!"

Terminate them with a spoon

Laugh like a maniac: the stalker will be creeped
out, and will not bother you for a week or so. Usually.

Streak. Just streak.

Look at him like you're going to murder their kids only to realize they don't have kids at all.

Die

Buy them a pint

Steal their time machine, go forward to the year 2798. Then go back to the year 1456. After that return to the year 2011.5, by this time you will have found an age changing machine. Change your age to 7 and go back to school. Once you are there, punch a teacher in the face, run across your school field, climb a fence, blow a horn (preferably NOT what you're thinking this means), jump off the fence, dig a hole, bury the horn, jump up and down on the spot, then call your stalker's phone and make them find you. Or call the nearest police officer. Ask them how the fuck you got a horn when you were on top of a fence. Useless, but fun.

Don't say a word to them and avoid eye contact all the time no matter what for the rest of your life

Sparky Braginski said...

*jumps on Izz and strangles her*

STALK ME AND DIE.

IzzFizz said...

*reads back a few comments*

oh yeah!
I was bored because everyone left so I looked up stalking techniques.

I can imagine Val stalking Derek........ poor Derek

Kimberly Vex said...

Once again, that sure is foolproof advice. :/

Kimberly Vex said...

There you are Sparky! You're like a ninja, you're there but can't be seen.

IzzFizz said...

I'm pretty sure that wasn't on the list Sparky.

IzzFizz said...

Ninjas and vampires are suspiciously similar...

Sparky Braginski said...

I am a ninja. One with a f**king big sword.

*holds the sword to Izz's neck*

I'm not f**king kidding.

IzzFizz said...

You sure about that Sparky?

IzzFizz said...

You know. If you're interested. All my information came from here:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Stalker

Sparky Braginski said...

Yes.

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

DEREK LOOK AT THIS!!!!

http://bringingskulduggerytothemasses.blogspot.com/2011/12/something-for-derek-landy.html

Sparky Braginski said...

Dear god.

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