London had Justin Bieber turning on its city's lights. Dublin had Michael Buble. And who did my neighbouring village Donabate have to turn on THEIR Christmas lights last Saturday evening? Why, they just had international superstar author Derek Landy drop by to ROCK. THEIR. WORLD.
And verily, their world was indeed rocked.
I was surrounded at all times by a pack of chattering girls, led by my very good friend Molly, whom I had met at the Twilight premiere a few weeks ago. 'Tis a small world indeed. A small, odd world. Filled with small, odd girls, who wouldn't stop talking.
But that's not why I'm here to talk to you today. Specifically, you people with the funny accents. Even more specifically, you people with the funny accents from Australia and New Zealand. I am here to tell YOU people that, good Lordy, we are running ANOTHER create-a-character competition just for you- because I am a kind and gracious Golden God.
I wasn't planning on running another competition quite so soon, but after talking to my publishers I decided to squeeze one last contest into the final few weeks of 2011, and it's all to do with The End Of The World, which is being published in Ireland and the UK in March as part of World Book Day. Now, I'm sure all of you know just how much I love synchronicity, how much I love releasing books at the same time across the world, so we have arranged for TEOTW to be released in Australia and New Zealand at the same time, and it was decided that it should include a brand new and exclusive short story featuring two characters that you guys will have to come up with.
But I digress.
The competition! The deadline is tight, my Australiminions, my New Zeali...minions.... (I'm not sure that works... ahem...). The deadline is 11.59 PM on New Year's Eve in whatever Time Zone you happen to be in, and not a second after!
Because we have this tight schedule, I'm going to give you a few pointers which might improve your chances of winning- pointers which look a lot like ten rules you MUST OBEY.
RULES
1. Readers from Australia- I need a female character from you lot. Readers from New Zealand- I need a male character from you.
2. There will be ONE winner from each country.
3. Be practical when giving them their powers. I couldn't use some FANTASTIC characters from the other competitions because their powers would either have needed some heavy-duty explanation, or the characters were just TOO DAMN POWERFUL.
Restrict yourselves to a discipline of magic we've already seen in the books. Don't make your character someone who can do both Elemental and Adept magic. Don't make your character half-unicorn. Don't make your character Skulduggery's long lost brother. Who is also half-unicorn. Who can do both Elemental and Adept magic.
Be practical!
4. Post your entries HERE, in the Comments Section, which is now off-limits to everyone else! (The Blog entry accompanying this one will be for the usual chatter.)
5. You can post as many times as you want.
6. Before your entry, write this: "I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full rights to take this character and adapt it into his brain-explodingly brilliant work."
7. Understand that I might have to tweak your character in order to get the best fit for the story.
8. I can't think of an eighth rule.
9. Oh, oh! I thought of one!
10. Bring me... a shrubbery.
Posts
4,849 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1400 of 4849 Newer› Newest»The helmsman steered, the ship moved on;
Yet never a breeze up blew;
The mariners all 'gan work the ropes,
Where they were wont to do;
They raised their limbs like lifeless tools -
We were a ghastly crew.
The body of my brother's son
Stood by me, knee to knee:
The body and I pulled at one rope,
But he said nought to me."
`I fear thee, ancient Mariner!'
"Be calm, thou Wedding-Guest!
'Twas not those souls that fled in pain,
Which to their corses came again,
But a troop of spirits blest:
For when it dawned -they dropped their arms,
And clustered round the mast;
Sweet sounds rose slowly through their mouths,
And from their bodies passed.
Around, around, flew each sweet sound,
Then darted to the sun;
Slowly the sounds came back again,
Now mixed, now one by one.
Sometimes a-dropping from the sky
I heard the skylark sing;
Sometimes all little birds that are,
How they seemed to fill the sea and air
With their sweet jargoning!
And now 'twas like all instruments,
Now like a lonely flute;
And now it is an angel's song,
That makes the heavens be mute.
It ceased; yet still the sails made on
A pleasant noise till noon,
A noise like of a hidden brook
In the leafy month of June,
That to the sleeping woods all night
Singeth a quiet tune.
Till noon we quietly sailed on,
Yet never a breeze did breathe;
Slowly and smoothly went the ship,
Moved onward from beneath.
Under the keel nine fathom deep,
From the land of mist and snow,
The spirit slid: and it was he
That made the ship to go.
The sails at noon left off their tune,
And the ship stood still also.
The sun, right up above the mast,
Had fixed her to the ocean:
But in a minute she 'gan stir,
With a short uneasy motion -
Backwards and forwards half her length
With a short uneasy motion.
Then like a pawing horse let go,
She made a sudden bound:
It flung the blood into my head,
And I fell down in a swound.
How long in that same fit I lay,
I have not to declare;
But ere my living life returned,
I heard and in my soul discerned
Two voices in the air.
`Is it he?' quoth one, `Is this the man?
By him who died on cross,
With his cruel bow he laid full low
The harmless Albatross.
The spirit who bideth by himself
In the land of mist and snow,
He loved the bird that loved the man
Who shot him with his bow.'
The other was a softer voice,
As soft as honey-dew:
Quoth he, `The man hath penance done,
And penance more will do.'
Part VI
First Voice
But tell me, tell me! speak again,
Thy soft response renewing -
What makes that ship drive on so fast?
What is the ocean doing?
Second Voice
Still as a slave before his lord,
The ocean hath no blast;
His great bright eye most silently
Up to the moon is cast -
If he may know which way to go;
For she guides him smooth or grim.
See, brother, see! how graciously
She looketh down on him.
Second Voice
The air is cut away before,
And closes from behind.
Fly, brother, fly! more high, more high!
Or we shall be belated:
For slow and slow that ship will go,
When the Mariner's trance is abated.
"I woke, and we were sailing on
As in a gentle weather:
'Twas night, calm night, the moon was high;
The dead men stood together.
All stood together on the deck,
For a charnel-dungeon fitter:
All fixed on me their stony eyes,
That in the moon did glitter.
The pang, the curse, with which they died,
Had never passed away:
I could not draw my eyes from theirs,
Nor turn them up to pray.
And now this spell was snapped: once more
I viewed the ocean green,
And looked far forth, yet little saw
Of what had else been seen -
Like one that on a lonesome road
Doth walk in fear and dread,
And having once turned round walks on,
And turns no more his head;
Because he knows a frightful fiend
Doth close behind him tread.
But soon there breathed a wind on me,
Nor sound nor motion made:
Its path was not upon the sea,
In ripple or in shade.
It raised my hair, it fanned my cheek
Like a meadow-gale of spring -
It mingled strangely with my fears,
Yet it felt like a welcoming.
Swiftly, swiftly flew the ship,
Yet she sailed softly too:
Sweetly, sweetly blew the breeze -
On me alone it blew.
Oh! dream of joy! is this indeed
The lighthouse top I see?
Is this the hill? is this the kirk?
Is this mine own country?
We drifted o'er the harbour-bar,
And I with sobs did pray -
O let me be awake, my God!
Or let me sleep alway.
The harbour-bay was clear as glass,
So smoothly it was strewn!
And on the bay the moonlight lay,
And the shadow of the moon.
The rock shone bright, the kirk no less,
That stands above the rock:
The moonlight steeped in silentness
The steady weathercock.
And the bay was white with silent light,
Till rising from the same,
Full many shapes, that shadows were,
In crimson colours came.
A little distance from the prow
Those crimson shadows were:
I turned my eyes upon the deck -
Oh, Christ! what saw I there!
Each corse lay flat, lifeless and flat,
And, by the holy rood!
A man all light, a seraph-man,
On every corse there stood.
This seraph-band, each waved his hand:
It was a heavenly sight!
They stood as signals to the land,
Each one a lovely light;
This seraph-band, each waved his hand,
No voice did they impart -
No voice; but oh! the silence sank
Like music on my heart.
But soon I heard the dash of oars,
I heard the Pilot's cheer;
My head was turned perforce away,
And I saw a boat appear.
The Pilot and the Pilot's boy,
I heard them coming fast:
Dear Lord in heaven! it was a joy
The dead men could not blast.
I saw a third -I heard his voice:
It is the Hermit good!
He singeth loud his godly hymns
That he makes in the wood.
He'll shrieve my soul, he'll wash away
The Albatross's blood."
Part VII
"This Hermit good lives in that wood
Which slopes down to the sea.
How loudly his sweet voice he rears!
He loves to talk with marineers
That come from a far country.
He kneels at morn, and noon, and eve -
He hath a cushion plump:
It is the moss that wholly hides
The rotted old oak-stump.
The skiff-boat neared: I heard them talk,
`Why, this is strange, I trow!
Where are those lights so many and fair,
That signal made but now?'
`Strange, by my faith!' the Hermit said -
`And they answered not our cheer!
The planks looked warped! and see those sails,
How thin they are and sere!
I never saw aught like to them,
Unless perchance it were
Brown skeletons of leaves that lag
My forest-brook along;
When the ivy-tod is heavy with snow,
And the owlet whoops to the wolf below,
That eats the she-wolf's young.'
`Dear Lord! it hath a fiendish look -
(The Pilot made reply)
I am afeared' -`Push on, push on!'
Said the Hermit cheerily.
The boat came closer to the ship,
But I nor spake nor stirred;
The boat came close beneath the ship,
And straight a sound was heard.
Under the water it rumbled on,
Still louder and more dread:
It reached the ship, it split the bay;
The ship went down like lead.
Stunned by that loud and dreadful sound,
Which sky and ocean smote,
Like one that hath been seven days drowned
My body lay afloat;
But swift as dreams, myself I found
Within the Pilot's boat.
Upon the whirl where sank the ship
The boat spun round and round;
And all was still, save that the hill
Was telling of the sound.
I moved my lips -the Pilot shrieked
And fell down in a fit;
The holy Hermit raised his eyes,
And prayed where he did sit.
I took the oars: the Pilot's boy,
Who now doth crazy go,
Laughed loud and long, and all the while
His eyes went to and fro.
`Ha! ha!' quoth he, `full plain I see,
The Devil knows how to row.'
And now, all in my own country,
I stood on the firm land!
The Hermit stepped forth from the boat,
And scarcely he could stand.
O shrieve me, shrieve me, holy man!
The Hermit crossed his brow.
`Say quick,' quoth he `I bid thee say -
What manner of man art thou?'
Forthwith this frame of mine was wrenched
With a woeful agony,
Which forced me to begin my tale;
And then it left me free.
Since then, at an uncertain hour,
That agony returns;
And till my ghastly tale is told,
This heart within me burns.
I pass, like night, from land to land;
I have strange power of speech;
That moment that his face I see,
I know the man that must hear me:
To him my tale I teach.
What loud uproar bursts from that door!
The wedding-guests are there:
But in the garden-bower the bride
And bride-maids singing are;
And hark the little vesper bell,
Which biddeth me to prayer!
O Wedding-Guest! this soul hath been
Alone on a wide wide sea:
So lonely 'twas, that God himself
Scarce seemed there to be.
O sweeter than the marriage-feast,
'Tis sweeter far to me,
To walk together to the kirk
With a goodly company! -
To walk together to the kirk,
And all together pray,
While each to his great Father bends,
Old men, and babes, and loving friends,
And youths and maidens gay!
Farewell, farewell! but this I tell
To thee, thou Wedding-Guest!
He prayeth well, who loveth well
Both man and bird and beast.
He prayeth best, who loveth best
All things both great and small;
For the dear God who loveth us,
He made and loveth all."
The Mariner, whose eye is bright,
Whose beard with age is hoar,
Is gone; and now the Wedding-Guest
Turned from the bridegroom's door.
He went like one that hath been stunned,
And is of sense forlorn:
A sadder and a wiser man
He rose the morrow morn.
*stares at blog post* you mock me
Wow Octa LOL hey
Wow Octa LOL hey
*frowns* It posted twice
Hi Robin!
That was a fun way to spend an hour.
Also I may be slow in commenting.
Am supposedly working.
So did you actually read the whole poem?
I wonder if anyone will.
Supposedly *grins*
I am supposedly revising for a french exam.
Well I hope you do supposedly well!
Actually I hope you actually do well too.
*mutters* I doubt I will, I couldn't actually speak during the last one, had a melt down - it was pathetic
Also I must say I do like this new commenting box.
It's nice and small. I can easily hide it behind you know a kitten or something.
Awww.
*hugs*
Gives her a copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
There. Nice and calming.
DON'T PANIC
I openend mine in a new tab, I cannot stand the small one - it gets lost, poor thing
Don't panic, yeah, sure
Don't panic, yeah, sure
Well I have the big one hidden behind a Word document and am using this ickle little box.
*pats it on the head*
*frowns and listens intently*
Strange background noises.
Either someone is being tortuted with a drill or using a cake mixer.
Or possibly being tortured with a cake mixer.
*sings* Just kill him with your awesome
RUNNING SHOOTING 'SPLODING!
WIZARD. LIGHTNING. BATTLE!
SLOW MOTION JUMP ATTACK
slow motion lasts until you look down so don't look down
PIKACHU I CHOOSE YOU!
THUNDERBOLT GOOOOOO!
*sneaks back into the blog*
Silly Physics :P
*cannot comment*
Better!
I like science!
*Will be back later but for now disappears*
So yush. I should probably make some formal goodbye or something.
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODLES!
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
DAYS I SAY!
THIS WILL TAKE DAYS TO FILL!
*runs into wall*
Days? YEHEEEEEEEEEEEE
Days of rooooooooooom
This is going to be fun.
But not really.
I lied.
Ah tough questions - Top three Jim Carrey films.
Awww...
1. Liar Liar
2. The Grinch
3 *cannot decide* er, er, er... Ace Ventura
Top three Disney Films:
Oh. My. God.
All of them...
1. Sleeping Beauty
2. Lion King
3. Mulan
Who are you?
Your worst nightmare!
*Screaming*
Top three Disney Songs
1. Circle of Life
*insert the rest here*
2. I Won't Say I'm In Love
3. Bare Necessities
too freakin' hard
*raises eyebrow* Hello Molly
My worst nightmare? That is a good one... Drowning, Buried Alive *shudders*
Y'ello! :D
*Hugs Mushu*
Molly, if you would like to talk to some other people as I am distant, travel to the next avaliable post.
Mushu is freakin' awesome.
I gotta go byebye
NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN SEGONYA!
MABABI SIBABAAAAAAAAAA!
SITIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM NEGONYAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAA!
NEGONYAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAA!
*coughs*
Yes I do know the lyrics to all of the circle of life...
No I am not obsessed.
Yes I did perform it in a school choir.
Yes our school choir is awesome :D
SNAPE. SNAPE. SEVERUS SNAPE.
DUMBLEDORE!
WHEN I WAS A BOY! AN ORPHAN BOY!
I LOVED TO MOVE MY FEET!
Why isn't it Friday 13th yet?
I want to watch Holy Musical B@man!
Ron, Ron, Ron Weasley!
Do any of you people watch Crashcourse?
I love Crashcourse.
40 weeks of historical wonderfulness!
Nope. :3
Hi Molly!
Tis a pleasure to make your aquaintance!
Ah its ok.
You can youtube it if you want.
*starts humming to self*
He's big
He's small
He's also short and tall
ONE SIZE FITZHALL!
*returns to humming*
Deep in the meadow
Under the willow
A bed of grass
A soft green pillow
Oh Rue. Oh Hunger Games. Oh Suzzane Collins!
Why must you write so well?
*hicoughs*
*wonders how long it will take to get to the new page*
NEW PAGE! I SEE YOU!
*starts eating some strawberries*
Blorg.
*sighs*
Molly?
Am I all alone?
In this big empty blog?
That I'm trying so hard to fill?
Maybe it would be easier.
If.
I imagined the number of comments as dates.
But what the hell happened in 1355.
WIKIPEDIA!
1356.
Basel Earthquake.
Destroyed the town of Basel.
1357.
Influenza first recognized as a disease.
1358.
Republic of Ragusa founded.
1359.
Second Treaty of London signed between England and France.
1360.
First phase of the Hundred Year War ended.
1361
University of Pavia founded in Italy.
Ok, so I'm getting a little bored now...
TIMETRAVEL TIME!
Timetravel.
I AM BACK, M'DEARS!
Timetravel.
Timetravel.
Timetravel.
Timetravel.
Timetravel.
Timetravel.
BING!
Welcome back Molly!
As you may have noticed I'm bored! :P
1373
Anglo Portugese Alliance is signed.
It is still active today.
Making it the world's oldest alliance.
*Kicks iPod*
It keeps killing' mai Internet. :3
1374
In recognition of his services, Edward III of England grants the English writer Geoffrey Chaucer a gallon of wine a day for the rest of his life.
Awww.
Bad iPod!
Please Mr. Ipod.
Will you let me have a conversation with someone other than myself?
Many thanks.
Octa
*poke*
*poke*
*poke*
To Octa:
If you say so.
Unsincerly, Mr. Ipod.
YES, I LIVE AGAIN!
*Insane cackle*
Dear Mr. Ipod
Disregarding the tone of your last letter I bestow upon you my bountiful gratitude for this conversation.
Best wishes
Octa
WOOOOOO!
To Mr. iPod,
Was it really necessary to kill the Internet again??!
Love, Molly.
Always look on the bright side of life
Dee doo de dooby dooby dooby doooo
YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES!
What is physics?
Okay, I'm getting REALLY irked with my iPod.
To answer this questions we must take ourselves back.
It is a warm summer evening in Ancient Greece
And in response to your question...
I have no idea.
STORYTIME! *Applauds*
Oh I was just quoting The Big Bang Theory.
Do you watch it?
Yes!!
:DDDDD
"But what if we can't read?"
"Now, now, Wartihog, don't boast. Get some idiot to read it for you."
Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.
Did you see the latest episode?
With Sheldon in the French Maid outfit?
I was dying with laughter.
YOU READ THE HICCUP SERIES!
AT LAST!
SOMEONE ELSE!
Sorry for the slow response.
I had to go do some chores.
Hehe!!!! I know! On both counts!!!
S'okay!
S'okay!
I can't wait for October.
How to Seize a Dragon's Jewel.
The last Hiccup book.
*sobs*
*pokes blogger*
How peculiar.
Oh! It shows my comments now.
Watch me, Great Destroyer,
As I settle down to lunch,
Killer Whales are tasty 'cause they've
Got a lot of crunch,
Great white sharks Are scrumptious
But here's a little tip:
Those teeny weeny pointy teeth
Can give a nasty nip.
Yay! Dedications!
DEDICATE IT TO NYE. I'M BEGGING YOU.
Humans can be bland,
But if you have some salt to hand,
A little bit of brine,
Will make them taste diviiiiiine...
I tell the Might Big Blue Whale,
His life is over soon,
With one swish of this armoured tail,
I put out the sun and moon...
The winds and gales are quivering,
As I begin to roar,
The waves themselves are shivering,
and trembling back to shore...
I dedicate this page to Nye! For being awesome.
And to Clarabelle. For being crazy awesome.
And to Nerdfighters who are made out of awesome.
And to Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus for inspiring knee trembling teeth chattering awe.
Once I set the sea alight,
In a single fiery breath,
Once I was so mighty,
I thought my name was Death...
Sing out loud until you're eaten,
Songs of mechalony bliss,
For the mighty and the middling,
All shall come to THIS...
*Wipes tear*
That was amazing, Octa. It really was.
Twelve days north of Hopeless, and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death.
This is the story... Of Becoming a Hero The Hard Way.
"That's a terrible plan."
"Hiccup's plans are always terrible."
"Hey! You're still here, aren't you?"
Hmm.... should I start quoting too?
But I have no books with me...
and I'm not awesome enough to know the quotes by heart.
The thing about Grown Ups is that they're always wanting you to be this Great Hero and Leader. What's wrong with being NORMAL, for Thor's sake? What's wrong with being SO-SO at stuff? They're just so unrealistic.
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