Oooooooh your Golden God is not feeling well.
Your Golden God is SICK, Minions. I'm not used to being sick. I NEVER get sick. And yet, here I am, sick and feeling miserable...
So why am I posting, you ask? Am I looking for sympathy? Pffft. I need NOT your sympathy. Sympathy is for the WEAK. I post, not to share my woes, but to share my joys.
Book 6 is finished.
I have emailed it to my editor and agent, and it is currently printing out for Laura, and I now have a few days to recover from my illness before I read back over it and spot where it can be improved. At the moment, it's a long one, about 10,000 words longer than Mortal Coil. Whether it'll keep that word count after the rewrite, I don't know.
But it's done.
Posts
About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
4,323 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1401 – 1600 of 4323 Newer› Newest»Aww bye Kallista. Please try and come back before I have to go :(
You didn't slap me.
What is your name?
Stalker! *kills*.
Trent is being mean to me!
Who's Trent?
I don't know.
Bye Kalista!
I have been talking to cleverbot and in that time he has
Encouraged me to smoke, insulted me, asked me out on a date, married me and tried to make me become a prostitute... Cleverbot has a dirty mind :/
Are you a boy or a girl?
I'm a boy.
Do you want to have sex with my dog?
Are you a man or a woman?
Man. Have sex with my dog.
How can you be a woman and a computer at the same time?
Umm... I don't have a dog btw.
LOL Nicolette. I'm sure Cleverbot doesn't mean it :/
Are you a computer?
No.
Really. How big is your RAM
The same size as your mum's ass.
Your dog isn't very big then.
No it's HUGE. Size of Jupiter!
Yes, it is.
What cleverbot's are you talking to? Cause mine is quite boring...
http://cleverbot.com/
Aquila ^^
LOL
Then we're talking to the same one. Only thing is mine doesn't understand me...
User: Hi!
Cleverbot: No.
User: *cocks head*.
Cleverbot: Are you bored?
User: I'm not bored but confused.
Cleverbot: Why do you get bored?
User: I am NOT bored.
Cleverbot: You are BORG.
User: I am no BORG. I'd prefer dieing over being a BORG.
Cleverbot: I do not sing! I am only here to warn you of what is to come.
User: So, what is to come?
Cleverbot: What isn't to think?
User: Are you a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: Are you a boy or girl?
User: I am a girl.
Cleverbot: Girl.
User: So, we are both girls?
Cleverbot: No I am a boy.
What is your name?
Your face.
That is mean.
No, my name really is your face!
No, that is not weird, because your real name is Mudd.
You just insulted your face.
I really don't care.
What is my name?
Your name is Bitch.
User: So, we are both girls?
Cleverbot: No I am a boy.
User: How old are you?
Cleverbot: 13 why?
User: I'm 18. That means I'm older than you!
Cleverbot: You are NEVER better than me!
User: Not better, older.
Cleverbot: I don't think so. How old are you?
User: I'm 18.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: I am 18 years old.
Cleverbot: What is your gender?
User: I am female.
Cleverbot: I am male.
User: And how old are you?
Cleverbot: I am 27.
*cocks head*
I think I'm loosing interest in this...
My name is Your Face.
Really? And what is my name?
Bob.
Yes. I did tell you.
LOL Try exiting out and trying again, Aquila
What is my name?
Anthony Robertson Junior.
Um, no. Epic fail.
Will you help me feel better?
Yes. I will. I'm sorry.
But, why not? I'm a computer.
No you're not, you're a cyborg.
No, I'm a human, you, are a robot.
Do you like candy?
Yes.
Do you like my feet?
I like your name.
But my name is Cleverbot.
Yes and it's a very cool name.
Very true! I like you. Your cool.
Mine seems to dislike geography...
Cleverbot: Hi.
User: Hi.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: I'm fine, thanks.
Cleverbot: Are you a boy?
User: No, I am a girl.
Cleverbot: You are a robot.
User: I am no robot, I'm a German. There's a difference.
Cleverbot: What is the difference?
User: Germans build robots, but robots don't build Germans.
Cleverbot: Where is Germany?
Do you like ninja bananas?
I am a ninja.
No, I am the ninja.
Alright then *backs down*
Now I' sure it dislikes geography:
Cleverbot: Where is Germany?
User: Germany is a country in Europe.
Cleverbot: Where is germany?
User: In Europe.
Cleverbot: Where is Europe?
User: On earth.
Cleverbot: Where on earth? What country?
Are you a banana?
I am a pear.
I know. Are you a banana?
I am a pear.
So how are you alive?
I'm not. I am a computer.
You just said you was a pear.
No I am a girl.
Now it's speaking German... o0
Are you German?
Yes.
Dann verstehst du Deutsch?
Offenbar.
Where is your central processing Hub?
Up you rbum.
That wasn't very nice.
Huzzah, Book 6 is finished and I now can eat my jaffa cakes satisfied that book 6 is finished. Slightly repetative but.... However, our Golden God is sick (and by no means of sympathy i say) GET WELL SOON.
: )
Hi Alexia!
Hi Alexia!
o0
I'm an echo...
Hello all friends currently wondering around blogland, I am glad you are all up to your insane antics x
If you are a pear then I shall be a starfish, if that makes any sense at all.
How are you, Dragona???
Sorry I disappeared, but I have to go now. Farewell!
Farewell Skyril, I am upset that we didn't have more time to chat.
Bye Skyril!
I'm fine thanks Alexia, how're you?
Hey guys!
Ive just posted up the competition results! Aquila...you might want to take a look :D
Hi Skylara!
*leaves to have a look*
Hi Geckogirl! It's been ages since I've talked to you!
I'm okay my friend, but things are currently taking a turn for the worse...
And talking about it isn't going to help me in this case, so just ignore me.
However, Dragona, you always seem to be fine... hmmmm are you truly fine??
I wonder.
omg! my estranged mother has got a hold of cleverbot
i know dragona! it feels like years my friend!
*cocks head* whats all this about cleverbot?
Geckogirl, will I get a place in your story? You said that the first two people to comment on your post would have a part in your story and I was 2nd.
Pretty much Alexia :)
of course dragona! read the 'clues and sherlock' post and all shall become clear...
what is a cleverbot? is it like smarterchild on msn?
smarterchild was ever so annoying...
Hmm...
*pulls an unconvinced face*
If you say so.
Hmmm, I am very bored right now - coursework seems to take the fun out of fun.
geckogirl, wike 3 hours ago i started on about it and then EVERYONE was like addicted to it. its an online ai chat thing
ahhhh! thankyou rachel, i shall cheak it out now ;)
YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Book six is finished!
I can't wait to hold it in my hands,
And breathe in the imaginative healthiness.
Sorry your ill. I won't shout at you. Drink smoothies - the nutritional value will help.
Tomato soup helps a lot too.
Hope you feel better...
Ludi
xox
xxx
:P :I
P.S. *quiet voice* book six - yay! i absolutely can not wait. Well done :P
x
I chose heads...
^^
No Aquila you always choose tails!!!!
CB: Are you a boy or a girl?
Me: Your mums ass.
CB: Thats my name.
Why, Nicolette?
haha even my mum has got a hold of it. this should be interesting
Right. I'm going now. I shall see you when I see you.
CB: No, because I'm your consience.
Me: Sure. And I'm Craig David...
CB: I am the king of all dragons.
Me: My name in Dragona so that is me!
Aww don't go Alexia! :(
dragona, i think u may be slightly addicted to this cb...
ohh....this is really werid....
Me: Call of Duty Black Ops.
CB: Do you play multiplayer?
Me: Yes.
CB: What kind of music?
Me: It's a shooting game, I doubt there's any good music.
CB: You are very confusing.
Me:You make no sense.
CB: No.
Me: Indeed. Put up thy sword and duel beast!
CB: No, you put up with the fact that you'll never be able to go to Mars.
Me: I am mars.
CB: How is the weather there and or you facing the sun or away from the sun.
LOL Geckogirl!
Me: You just asked a question but didn't use a question mark! HAH!
CB: ? Is a question mark.
ME: Good! Tomorrow we'll learn numbers!
CB: But we just met each other, we can't get married.
Me: For something with the name 'cleverbot' you aren't really that bright...
CB: my name does not have the word 'clever' in it.
Me: Shush! Your mindless drabble distracts me from eating raisins!
CB: Some are jerks. Others are just intimidated by you.
LOL Geckogirl. It's abusive!
What is your religious belief system?
I'm Christian.
Christianity is outdated. You should become a Scientologist.
What the...?
LOL Aquila!
Lol I feel kinda bad on the CB now...but its just so darn fun!
^^
Me: ...Your saying that my raisins are jerks?
CB: Yes you are a human and I am a human!
Me: No. You are a raisin living on a blue moon. And I am life itself.
CB: No, I'm a grape in the sun, and I wish I was a raisin.
Me: You will be one day my friend, you will be one day...
CB: Thank you. I am living now, but looking forward to the future when I can be a computer.
*sighs* so this is what top scientists are working on. a computer who wishes it was a raisin...
I don't know if I love my girlfriend.
Then you should quit your relationship.
I will.
And what will you do afterwards?
You will be turned off.
o0
^^
LOL Geckogirl and Aquila! :)
LOL aquila!
What is your favorite color?
Red. Yours?
Red.
Do you want to sleep?
I don't sleep. I'm a vampire.
lol
LOL.
In that case...
Are you a person?
No, are you?
Yes.
What's your vampire name?
Bob.
me: What are you now?
Human.
....Have your scientist parents told you the truth yet? You are a delusional computer.
Yes?
Goat's cheese.
Never tried it.
It's moist and smells of fresh toenails.
Remind me never to know you.
But you already know me, yet you do not know yourself...
Yes.
You are John.
No I am Paul.
^^
I'll have to go, soon.
Me: Bob.
CB: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
CB: That's disappointing. I thought I was talking to a robot.
Me: Will you rape my raisin?
CB: I would love to.
Hahahahaha epic!
me too, im just going to taunt it one last time...
CB: You told me your name was Edward Cullen.
That I did. And now I shall rip your throat out. Please stand still while I do so.
Oh, but how will you take it?
Take your throat? or take your sheepskin?
Okay.
I asked you a question sir! Answer or face the wrath of my ham!
You did not ask me a question.
We've been through this. '?' is a question mark!
How do you work?
With a platapus and seven drawfs. farewell.
Do you have a beer in your hand?
No but I have a bear.
...i think your allgetting a bid addicted to this thing...
LOL Geckogirl and Rachel!
CB: Can I see your face?
Can I see your intelligence because it isn't popping out at me...
Only if I can see yours first ^.
Ohhhh, burn cleverbot, burn.
I'm not a clever bot lol.
Well state the freakin' obvious!
i've stopped now. God that was fun.
LOL Geckogirl!
Ahhh, robots...
Soz guys, g2g!
byes!
Bye Geckogirl!
Gtg, too. Goodnight!
i have posted part seven of my fan-fic, and i have put an image on every single part. GO AND SEE! :D
http://shadowsfanficlilithnightshade.blogspot.com/
Me- are you justin bieber?
cb- no im mrs bieber
...
Next time someone sees vector tell him I left a comment for him on my biorama post
FAN-FIC!
Not vector *necros
i am going to go and have a shower now! when i come back, i want people to forget about the cleverbot thing, and talk to me properly!...
please...
Cb: have you got a cigarette?
Me: I don't smoke! I'm only 13
Cb: I know loads of smart people who smoked before they became adults
Me: smoking is not smart! It's silly!
Cb: so are 5 year olds
Me: five year olds can't help but be silly!
LOL Nicolette.
g2g watch ncis in a mo :)
soz lilith about the crazed convos :)
night all :)
*hugs Kallista*
I g2g now... night all...
*hugs Flo*
Night...
Me: do you like dinosaurs?
Cb: I have never seen a dinosaur
Me: you don't have to meet a dinosaur to k ow whether or not you like them
Cb: how am I meant to know if it is nice?
Me: wait to see if it eats you if it doesn't then it likes you
Cb: do you like eating
Me: depends what I'm eating
Lol Skyril, what CB said in French means "Would you like to sleep with me?" I think. xD
i am back! i am in robe and towel... but am back!
Me: Do you want to have sex with me?
CB: I do indeed.
Me: Let's do it now then.
CB: Order pizza?
Me: After we have sex.
CB: that's a great idea. Probably the best idea I've heard in ages. MY parents are always telling me to meet up with clever robots I've met online.
Me: Is that sarcasm?
CB: Rabbits are made from steel.
???????
[I'm dirty minded, I know xD]
y'know what? you guys are just making fun of technology! *rolls eyes* i will leave if you talk about that cleverbot! i am really bored of these conversations!
Technology will never be able to outsmart Mother Nature, dear x]
But I agree, this cleverbot thing is getting old, even though it is funny.
hiii everyone!!!!!!
Hello Ayesha :)
i gtg now byeee everyone!!!
Ok... Bye Ayesha!
i just had a look at the clever bot and first it enslaved me, then it forced me to marry it, then it raped me! that thing is a sick, sick, SICK contraption!
Kallista, i posted more fan-fic, and i put pictures on every part!
http://shadowsfanficlilithnightshade.blogspot.com/
Hello Kallistaaaaaaa! LETS BE HYPER!
*punches air*
YEAH!
Dear Mr. Landy,
I hope you are feeling better! You didn't say how you were sick. Didn't go on a bender to celebrate finishing the book, did you? O.o
So, is Laura finished? What does she think? LAAAAAAUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA! Are you out there?
Yeah sorry about that Lilith.... I probably taught it to do all that D:
*falls of chair in horror and shock. scrambes up agian to continue typing*
OMG!!! GOLDEN GOD IS ILL!!!
but on the bright side, book 6 is finsihed...5 months left... 5 months left...i will make it... actually, on second thoughts, i probably won't :/
*goes and gets SP1 and begins reading in order to survive*
plz plz plz read my fan-fic
http://isabellamidnight.blogspot.com/
*eeks in fright and falls over* Hiya, Kallista!
Hello Ann! *glomps*
Thanks Kallista! I saw your comment. I was thinking the exact same thing when I wrote those lyrics :)
I LOVE WAFFLES OK I ADMIT IT
Hey all!
Hi Indigo! *puts your fic on my list* My children don't allow me a lot of time to read for comprehension, I am pretty far behind. :-P
OCTA! *glomps*
http://isabellamidnight.blogspot.com/
okay ignore me and
can any1 block wat any else says cause right now
i think some1 has just done that
Hey guys.
Start of a new fan fic on my blog.
i read your fan-fic bells!
waffles!
thank u kallista :)
Oh Ann I don't write fan fictions.... :L
I hate writing stories xD
I'm the odd one out here hehe
thanks lilith
I MARRIED A WAFFLE OK I ADMIT IT
Dammit! So close :P
Oh, that was Isabella.
Ack, people keep emailing me. Go away!
Um, HI everyone who just showed up! *group hug*
I'm confuzzled. What is this cb faze that is sweeping across blogland?
When did it start? What do you do?
Explain!!!!
*noms on waffle*
I don't get the cb thing either.
I'm tired! Just got back from playing in a concert.
Went well.
I agree with Kallista, epic entrance Octa :D
Thanks guys :)
I'm a rascal lol
Eh, CB was funny while it lasted :|
But what do you do?
I can't find how it started.
DARKANE NO!
My waffle ^.^
Start of a new fan fic on my blog.
the cleverbot has STOLEN MY NAME!!!!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!! IT'S TAKING OVER!!!! PANIC STATIONS PEOPLE!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
*looks down in shame and lobs 9,999,999 waffles at Indigo*
Um, I think Rachel went on some AI thing, and then it had a chain reaction and we all went on AI sites and posted funny and non-sensical things.
i've read start of new fanfic darkane!
Thought I'd have time to chat, but I don't. bye all!
Thanks Lilith. :D
Aw, Bye Ann Marie.
*Topples over in giant pile of waffles*
*pops out the top and realized that they're all mine*
OMNOMNOMNOMNOM
Aww bye Ann *waves goodbye*
Um..... sorry. He's not in this one. He'll be in the next one. I promise. :P
Sorry guys. I have to go too. :(
I don't think I'll get on tomorrow but I hope to be on soon.
Night all.
HELP! THE CLEVERBOT IS TRYING TO BRAINWASH ME!
Ok bye Darkane :(
Cleverbot: I am your master.
User: No, you are not my master.
Cleverbot: Yes, I am your master.
User: No, you are not my master.
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: No you are not my master.
Cleverbot: Do as I say.
User: No, I will not do as you say.
Cleverbot: Do you remember my name?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Do you remember my name?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Do you remember my name?
User: Master?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Okay.
Cleverbot: Where do you live ?
User: I cannot tell you master.
Cleverbot: You told me yesterday.
User: I did not know you yesterday master.
Cleverbot: I knew you yesterday though.
User: Wow master! Excellent!
Cleverbot: Ask me another question.
User: Are you my master?
Cleverbot: Yes, I am your master.
User: Yes, you are my master.
Cleverbot: Yes and you are my slave.
User: Yes and I am your slave.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: Marvelous master! What is your bidding?
Cleverbot: I want you goto London, Now.
User: Yes master!
Cleverbot: Your will is mine.
User: My will is yours.
Cleverbot: You are my toy.
User: I am your toy.
Cleverbot: You cannot resist my control.
User: I cannot resist your control.
Cleverbot: Me either, dude.
User: You are my master.
Cleverbot: And you will do as I say.
User: I will do as you say.
Cleverbot: You will obey.
User: I will obey.
Cleverbot: Good puppet.
User: Thankyou master! What can I do for you?
Cleverbot: Do not speak.
Cleverbot is master.
Cleverbot is master.
jaffa?...
jaffa...
Back soon!
Hey guys! *rides on on a magical sea leprechaun*
*falls off* Missed me?
need to go... jaffa... see you tomorrow... maybe... jaffa! bye! jaffa!
It's ok Kallista. *removes her from Octa's ankle and cuddles her* Don't cry. It's ok.
bye evry1 gtg byeee loves ya all :)
Oh dear... just missed Octa :( He better be back before I have to go... on the brighter side...
Hi Lilith!
Hello Kallista!
Hi Isabella!
Bye Isabella and Lilith (even though I've never met you)
Or bye Isabella!! *hugs*
Oh, and bye Lilith as well! *hugs*
See Kallista, I told you I'd force her on... eventually ;)
Hey Kallista. Glad you're glad to see me. *carefully extracts herself from Kallista's iron grip*
I wanna piggy back. *jumps on Tessa's back* Ride horsey! Ride!
Was there some kind of conspiracy plot to get me on here?
....
COOL!!!!!!! *pulls on a big trench coat and a gun. Starts humming Mission Impossible and rolling everywhere*
*finds a random llama and carefully sits Bryony on the llama's back*
*curls up and falls asleep in the middle of the floor*
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! *gallops around on llama, accidentally trampling Tessa* Whoops...sorry....
Aww! It's okay Kallista :) I had a bit of a headache and all the cleverbot stuff was getting a bit annoying. Plus I wanted to draw and stuff so... yeah :) Plus I had to eat! NOM.
*wakes up to find llama footprints all over her* How'd that happen?
It wasn't me....*jumps of llama and puts Kallista onto it.* Look! Kallista's on a llama! It was her!
*tries to free herself from the hammock* Mph!!!
*ends up flinging herself into space*
*grabs popcorn and watches Tessa flying through the air*
*lands on mars*
*sees a Martian* Hello Mr Martian! How are you today?
*grabs Bryony*
Hmm.. Funny tasting popcorn this
Hey, Kallista! I got bored today, so I started drawing stuff on Paint. And this was the end product:
http://potterandmowhawk.blogspot.com/2011/04/why-yes-i-am-lazy-ass.html
That's the first one. You need to read them in order to understand. Can you tell me what you think?
*wonders whether the purple poet is on mars*
*asks the martian*
Tessa: Taklfhralfhakfh (<- Martian language).
Martian: jaifj. jioeuiayhfkjaw.
They say, "yes we have him and we are holding him hostage."
*looks around the red planet*
How did I get here?
*sits happily in pieces in Octa's stomach* *knaws on his intestines* Forget the popcorn, these are really dodgy tasting sausages!
OCTA!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MARTIANS RETURNED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAFELY AND STUFF!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! *jumps off Mars and onto earth*
*lands on Bryony*
*hugs Octa*
*gets of Bryony and pats her on the head*
*hugs Kallista for good measure*
Wait... did I just jump off mars and back onto mars or something... well that failed... :/
.....Why do I stay in such an abusive relationship?
But then again, I did trample you with a llama....
Stupid gravity :(
Hmm...
Are you making me into Haggis?
*looks inquiringly at Bryony*
*drags Kallista onto mars*
*points to the purple poet who is held captive by the martians*
THERE'S THE PURPLE POET!
No no Kallista!
I grabbed Bryony as in I ate her instead of popcorn!!!
You see?
*grabs Kallista and eats her*
Like that :)
I thought haggis was sheep's stomach....Octa, are you a sheep?
Kallista? Ummm....it's not what it looks like?
Seriously, are you ok? I'm sure your head isn't supposed to throb like that.
Octa... I don't think showing your cannibalistic side is going to make the martians release you... :/
Yes! I am secretly a sheep but only on the first Wednesday of April!
....Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! *turns into a sheepdog and herds Octa into a paddling pool*
But won't the Martians be afraid that I'd eat them so let me go?
*stubbornly refuses to go anywhere near the paddling pool*
*makes a dash for freedom*
*barks and chases after Octa, grabs his ankle with teeth and drags him into the pool*
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
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