Hello.
Ah, my poor neglected blog. How I have ignored you. Once you were the apple of my eye (okay, not really — the name of this blog is what it is, after all), but then along came Twitter and suddenly you seemed somewhat clunky and... unwieldy...
But see? I have returned. I've been away a lot, I know. Work. I had that book to publish (which went really well, by the way) and then all those tours, including a trip to New Zealand and Australia to meet all those readers with funny accents.
My life has been somewhat chaotic as of late, and when things get chaotic, some other things suffer. You, it seems, are one of these things.
But I'll try to rectify that. I really will. I'm home now, after all, and settling back into normal life. What normal life will bring me, though, I have no idea.
Posts
About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
4,849 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1601 – 1800 of 4849 Newer› Newest»*Waves to Dug*
Hi there. Minerve offered to bring Silente back to life if somebody would summon her army, and here we are. I was just about to have a bit of fun with them since there was nothing in the deal about letting them stay. The more the merrier.
*returns to the kitchen*
*puts away the tray*
*begins to wash up the cups*
I'm the sole proprietor of this Hotel. That's why I do all the cooking and cleaning by myself.
(Hey!! I know!!! And Daisy's licking her nose...! 😆)
*Rolls his eyes after Sil slaps him*
Do you really think, after all the massive invasions that we've taken care of, that this will be an issue?
Tawnee: If you ever need company or a helping hand, I am available all the time
(Alright then when Soph comes back roll on the apocalypse *looks excited*)
(Hello Dugg how be you? And do you want a friendly huggle?)
*uncertainly waves back*
Oh. My. God.
*sighs*
Great. Really great..
But really, what were you thinking?!
. . . Thank you. I genuinely appreciate the offer.
*begins to towel off the teacups*
However, I suppose I prefer to look after this place myself.
Tawnee: I guess that is understandabl;e. But the offer still stands if you are lonely
*nods mutely*
*finishes putting away the teacups*
(Hey Gar! I be good! How bes yous!? How he's you ls eyes!?
Um, no thanks.. Not a big hugger/cuddler. :)))))
I was thinking we may as well bring Sil back this way since it was much quicker than going and getting her myself. Plus we now have ten thousand punching bags.
I'm fine, thanks. :) Just posted my first ever AVEN post. O_O Scary.
I also visited the world's only submarium today, which was cool. Penguins, yeah.
Well, I liked looking at the floor next to the penguin tank better than looking at the penguins, but. :P
How's everyone else?
Tawnee: sooo, what shall we do now?
I hope you realise Blake, I died because I wanted to. And now you've screwed blogland over or no reason.
Well, I don't know about you, but I am inclined to take a nap.
*curls up in swivel chair behind desk*
(one of the best vines ever:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vBNSIQGcHbM&itct=CBUQpDAYBSITCOWn-vbnysECFVSLGAodCocAyzIHcmVsYXRlZEiLrsizpbKh400%3D )
(I'm happy thank you Dugg and ok its all cool)
(I'm happy thank you Star)
(Hehe that's funny Tiger!)
Well I'm terribly sorry about bringing you back to life and Blogland is far from "screwed". Seriously, look who you're talking to.
If Blogland has survived this long, I doubt that a single move made by Blake with destroy it forever.
*shakes head* you bigheaded moron.
Thank you, Clara. Bigheaded as I may be, you know full well I can back it up.
Tawnee: *sits down and starts humming*
*snoozes quietly*
Tawnee: *hums to Ive got a lovely bunch of coconuts*
I gtg. Idk when I'll be bAck cause I'm going to An Irish dance competition and it might be kinda long. also I'm on my moms phone ..:
Pie!!!!
*sighs* the twins are at your house right? Mind if I go see them?
*mumbles something about Mom*
*continues sleeping*
Tawnee: *stops*
*starts feeling sorry for Clara*
*fists clenching and unclenching*
*shifts in sleep*
*teeth grinding*
*walks to the hotel*
*sees Clara asleep and pauses*
...
(i return from my mini poof)
Tawnee: Poor thing...
(Welcomes Tiger *glomps*)
Of course, just make sure Chi's clone checks who you are. It'll go berserk on you otherwise.
back
(in *choose colour)
hiya der
*horns sound*
*a voice shouts*
The Blogland Circus has arrived!
*circus music booms as a circus ground gets set up*
*mutters* Solus . . .
Solus . . . not . . .
*wakes up abruptly*
*groans*
*sudden headache*
*rubs forehead*
(Hey Egg!)
Tawnee: did you hear that? a circus has arrived!
(I am back.)
*drowsily clambers out of the chair*
*goes to the window to investigate the sudden horns*
. . . A circus?
*waves at Clara*
Morning.
(*accepts glomping and holds you there* Hello wolfie, i really like that vine too)
*steps out of Sil's shadow and walks over to Tawnee*
tawnee: Shall we check it out?
(*snuggles Gar* hewwo. I love vines)
(Hello egg how be you?)
Oh, dear.
A circus.
*frowns at the sudden appearance of Silente and Garrett*
*rubs sleepy eyes*
*looks again*
. . . Greetings, Garrett.
And . . . *bitterly* YOU.
. . . I agree.
Let's go to the circus. It's been many years since I've been to one.
(*hugs Soph*)
Actually, I'm here. I have another hour unless my mom needs her phone.
So hello again!
*Strides up to the nearest knight, looking him up and down*
Neat armor, I do like the black. Unfortunately it'll be covered in red soon, assuming you bleed.
*puts on coat*
*puts on it*
*walks outside into the crisp autumn air*
*notices Sir*
. . . I take it you're not fond of circuses?
I'm fine.
Who missed me?
=D
(*hugs Silente back*)
Tawnee: *tugs Clara* lets go!
* a man who looks about twenty is leaning against ticket booth*
(Hello, Egg.)
Hello Egg!!!!!
(I missed you Egg!)
Gee you're grumpy when you wake up.
*looks around the lobby*
Good to be here again.
(Inky, your profile picture is adorable. :))
The last time I went to a circus, Ms. Crowley, there were no survivors.
Hi Dugster!
(.....)
Hi Dugglyn!
(Hi Egg.)
(Thanks Star!)
Hey blake, how be ye?
(welcome back soph)
*gives taw a quick kiss on the cheek* I'll be back
*approaches the ticket booth*
A ticket please.
And tickets for . . .
*turns*
*counts the people*
. . . All of us. Tickets for all.
Also, would you mind telling me how many people usually die at this circus?
Dugster?
*nods*
Oookkaaayy!
Well, how be's yous?! How be's yous eyes?!
Minerve: Attacking my army is not a good idea. They are designed to kill gods and goddesses. As long as you do not attack them, they will not attack you. They are a deterrent for my sister, nothing more.
(thanks ink!)
Me and my eyes be good.
I love my eyes.
Cant live without 'em.
Tawnee: *kisses* okay sweetie
Man: how many ticket? And no one has died yet
Tawnee: S S Scythe?
Scythe: *eyes widen* Tawnee?
Eh, I dislike the idea of a sizable force like this under the control of, well, you. The fact that it's so close to home only makes me dislike it more.
...
And I'm really bored.
Hmm . . .
*thinks about it*
I think . . . tickets for . . . me, Tawnee, Garrett, Dugglyn, and Silente. And Sir, if he's willing to come.
(How art everybody?)
*glares at Min*
He rovockes the deal. Send your army and me back to hell.
(i hate to say it but...
msd
oh noes)
Eyes are amazing!
my cat is amazing.
Don't count me please Clars *disappears and steps out of Blake's shadow* Hello
Scythe: *hands them tickets* Free of charge...Taw, what are you doing here?
Tawnee: I escaped
Scythe: *stiffens* Well, everyone will be glad to see you
I believe I will remain outside.
Oh . . .
*looks sadly at Garrett*
. . . Very well.
*collects the tickets from the booth*
*hands them out*
*embarks into the circus*
(Ok Egg!)
Oooh!! I wanna go to a circus!!
Tawnee: *looks around the familiar tent* wow...I cant believe they are carrying on
Very well, Sir. I'll bring you a souvenir, as soon as I've confirmed it's a non-lethal one.
Minerve: My army is staying, Silente Tempest. You bore me.
If you attack them, Blake, I will give them the order to leave no one alive here. It is in your interest to not attack them. You will get nowhere, as Silente knows.
*looks around at the colors, lights, sounds, smells, and all-around chaos*
. . .
*wonders what to do first*
*follows Clara*
Egg, wanna come too!?
I love my cats. I just heard on NPR that having a cat makes you carzy! Well I don't think I could get much carzier..! 😆
Tawnee: Shall we go to the big top?
Very well. I see no reason why not.
*follows Tawnee*
*glares at Min*
*steps through a portal to France*
Phaestra phaestra Phaestra
It sounds like you're comparing something Silente tried to do with what I'm about to do. I'm not sure if I want to laugh or not. I think I'll just kill some of these guys.
*Looks at Gar*
You're stealing my trick.
*His arms become wreathed in darkness, the shadows cast by the army swirl and become ever darker*
(Shoot, mom needs her phone. Adios!!)
Phaestra: *appears in a flash of light which solidifies into her form* Yes, mortal?
Tawnee: *leads everyone into the big top*
*eases down onto the bench*
(byii Dug!)
*lays a handkerchief on the bench*
*sits on it*
Minerve: So be it, Blake. But you should learn not to attack an army you do not know the capabilities of.
byii duggy
*lights dim*
Scythe: ladies and gentleman...may I present you to the Blogland Circus!
*music starts playing*
*a massive cat jumps into the centre of the ring*
May I present to you Arian! and her master, Catline!
*a girl gets of Arians back*
(I will be back soon. *presses pause again*)
Min has an army in blogland because Blake is an idiot and I can't do a single thing right.
I'm not stealing your trick Blake i taught myself how to do it,
*looks at army* well f*** that *shadow walks away*
(I'm not willing to fight a god-killer army, a normal army yeah I'll take it on but never a god-killer army)
*applauds politely*
Tawnee: *whoops* Go you you two!
Catline: Um... *sees Tawnee and smiles*
And now, Arian will perform a duet with me
*flags down a man selling cotton candy*
*quietly, so as not to disturb the show*
Cotton candy, Tawnee?
*reappears by the ticket booth*
Hello good sir
Scythe: Hello, want a ticket?
Tawnee: *smiles* yes please
Yes please,
and have you seen a girl with silver scales and a small baby bump around here recently?
Scythe: Taw? yes she went that way...shes pregnant?
*buys two bags*
*one blue, one pink*
*gives Tawnee the pink one*
*thoughtfully chews a mouthful of blue cotton candy*
*Arian and Cat leave*
*a girl comes in on a trapeze*
Tawnee: *face drops* Shela?
*girl does a routine involving impoosible stunts*
*sidelong glance at Tawnee*
You know her?
Tawnee: *eats the candy floss*
Tawnee: * nods* I know them all...I was apart of the circus
Thank you and yes she is, I'm her boyfriend and the baby's farther *offers hand shake* the names Garrett, pleasure to meet you
Scythe: *takes hand* Scythe. Im a...friend, lets just say. And congrats, she deserves happiness after what happened
Really? Goodness, you should've said something!
(I am back.)
Phaestra: *pauses* I see.
Yeah she told me what happened with the ringmaster,
and I'm pleased to tell you he is never doing anything like that again.
Scythe: SO you are the one who killed him? Very well, go on in. The show has started
Yes it was me and thank you *goes inside and finds a seat*
*waves*
Garrett! Come sit with us!
Tawnee: *sees Gar*
*whispers* Hey, over here!
*Shela finishes*
Scythe: *comes in*
*voice booms* Now, it is my turn. Any volunteers?
*shadow walks over to Clara and Tawnee* hello, how much have i missed?
Not much. A feline duet and an acrobat.
Tawnee: Two acts
*hears Scythe*
*smiles* ah, now the real fun begins
Why?
*looks curiously at Scythe*
Who is this?
Yeah...I was hoping you might have some genius advice that even a screw up can't screw up?that
Tawnee: *smiles* volunteer and find out
Unthinkable. No. Absolutely not. I might die. Did you not hear Sir's not-so-cryptic warning?
Tawnee: *shrugs* fair point. Gar? wanna volunteer?
*With a small grin and a downward motion, the shadows of the knights join together into one massive void below the army. Sweat begins to run down his face from the effort of creating such a large portal, but the army sinks regardless. As the knights disappear from this dimension, they materialize in the shadow world*
(Hehe Mine
*clears throat* I dedicate this page to vine videos...they are brill!
and Eddy Izzard
and Ice lollies!)
Yeah why not *stands up* I'll volunteer
Phaestra: Minerve's army is immortal. I cannot defeat them. I could stall them for a short while, or indefinitely, but I could not defeat them.
Scythe: *gives a ghost of a smile* Very well. I would like to welclome to the ring, my volunteer!
*holds up right hand, which is actually a sword*
*applauds politely for Garrett*
Right. How can WE deal with them?
SOMEONE COMMENTED ON MY THREADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
LET ME FREAK OUT NOW
AND THEN DIE OF NERVES :P
Minerve: *the army does not move* Without my say so, Blake, they are not going anywhere.
*tilts head at her army* Kill him.
*they march forwards*
Tawnee: *claps vigorously*
(Well done Star!)
Well, it was kind of obvious someone was going to, but I'M STILL FREAKING OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
(yes, I was this bad when I joined this blog. Just, in my head. :P)
(hehe Star XD)
Phaestra: You cannot defeat them. You can only stall them, the same as I. They do not die. They do not stop. They do not breathe or feel pain, nor can they be banished. Like with our shrines - once built, they cannot be unbuilt. They are there until she says otherwise.
I have an army of my own, however. It may be wise to use them.
Funny, but you really don't have a say in what goes to this particular realm. It's run by someone just a tad more powerful than you.
*His left eye becomes black, a void such as the one that now ensnares the knights*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*STILL FREAKING OUT WITH THIS MASSIVE SMILE OF MY FACE AND THIS PIT OF NERVES IN MY STOMACH THAT HASN'T GONE AWAY SINCE I POSTED THE DAMN POST*
Ahem.
Sorry.
Ahem.
*hugs everyone* How are you all? C:
(I am great thank you, you?)
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
IN FREAK OUT ZONE. O_O
THANK YOU. :)
I am doing well, thank you. Though I'm afraid I'll have to go soon.
I'M TOO SCARED TO LOOK AT THE COMMENT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY'RE CALLED COMMENTS.
I THINK THEY MIGHT BE CALLED REPLIES.
@CLARA: :( AW.
(CHECK STARRRR!)
Minerve: You are a primitive creature. Blinded by your own power. This army is under my command. They cannot be moved. They have been summoned to this realm - and in this realm they shall stay until I say otherwise.
It's time for me to go. I'm afraid I'll have to leave the circus without even getting Sir that souvenir I promised him. How tragic. Fortunately for me, he doesn't like circuses.
*departs*
(buh byii Anni!)
Right. So they aren't going anywhere. Great. How do we goad Min into moving them?
If anyone looks back and sees my first comment on this blog (not advisable), they will see I posted a comment, and then didn't post anythign else for ages.
That is because I freaked out after I POSTED AND PEOPLE REPLIED TO ME.
:P
:( Fours, Clara!
(Aww that's adorable star)
Phaestra: I do not know. My sister is an odd creature. I do not know of her intentions. Some sort of trick, perhaps.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MY POST HAS GONE ALL /HIGHLIGHTED/ BECAUSE IT'S BEEN /RECENTLY UPDATED/ BECAUSE SOMEONE /REPLIED/!!!!!!!!
(yes. I got as far as opening the website. Um. :P)
One, the Neanderthals were primitive. Two, it's not my power that I'm referring to. Three, as I said, the being I am referring to really couldn't care less what some upstart goddess says. Oh yeah, and as I recall you needed someone else to summon them for you.
*The void bulges randomly, tendrils bursting forth and latching on to some of the knights, quickening their decent*
@Inky: Thanks. :P
(well done Star? I'm not sure what to say really)
(Bye Clars)
*walks into the centre of the arena* *looks at Scythe* what do you want me to do?
Sythe: You, Sir need to stand against that board *motions to board with hand sword*
Hmm..
*paces*
*thinking*
*muttering to herself*
Ok *walks over to the board* your not going to kill me are you?
@Gar: It's okay. XD *hugs*
Phaestra: Stall is all you can do, unless you manage to convince Minerve otherwise. But Minerve is smart. She cannot be tricked very easily, and neither would she revoke her army without a good reason.
Scythe: I haven't kiiled anyone....for ages
*readies baldes* I am a master at blades!
Tawnee: Whooo! Go Scythe!
I can get into university if I'm lucky...
*dies of laughter*
That's good Tia?!
Games technology *chokes on laughter*
whats so funny?
I'll never get it hahahahaha *dies*
Hmm..
This would be so much easier if I knew more of her..
*paces quicker*
*grumbling angrily*
*starting to get angry at herself*
you will Tia *huggles*
(gar, have you seen Eddie Izzards sketch about pavlovs cats?
We studied Pavlov is Psychology)
My grades are awful and this may be the only university course in the entire world that is low enough for my grades but I bet tons of people will apply or my parents won't let me choose this course or I will catastrophically fail my A Levels and not get this placement hahahahahahahaha
*is bleeding profusely*
(*huggles Tia* its going to all work out
what is meant for you, you will have)
Phaestra: She is my sister and I do not know much about her.
What does she want..
Crave...
Need...
Hmm..
Phaestra: I do not know. Like the rest of us gods, material possessions mean nothing. I do not believe there is anything you could literally give her that would change her mind. Metaphorically, however, there may be an opportunity. It is just a case of finding out what.
She's the goddess of death. Death is her fuel...her raison d'être..its like a magnet...
(*hugs Star* thank you)
(i haven't seen it yet Inks)
(Tia, i second what Inks' has said (including the huggles, because i can give out bro hugs if needed)
I'm ready *looks at Scythe*
Phaestra: Indeed.
(I get the distinct feeling that I am being ignored.)
(Aww thanks Gar)
Scythe:*chucks a knife at Gar, misikng him by mere centimetres+
Tawnee: *cheers*
*pauses and turns to Phae*
Hypothetically speaking if you could have anything what would you want most?
(That would depend on whether your ability to listen has suddenly improved, Blake.)
Phaestra: What I would have if I could have anything that I wanted most?
(That coming from you, I'm not sure if I should laugh or feel pity.)
Yes. If you could have anything, anything at all, what would be the thing you wanted most.
(Blake..)
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