Thursday, June 5, 2014
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«Oldest ‹Older 2001 – 2200 of 4915 Newer› Newest»Hey guys!:3
There is no water polo today ;-; I'm so upset, it's my favourite sport ;-; And I was looking forward to beating the other team again :D
But no. No water polo.
Gemma is not happy.
Gemma is sad.
Gemma is far too warm today and went back to her room early.
Gemma has no friends yet.
Gemma is all alone. With family.
Gemma wants people her age here with her.
(back! Sorry, spicy wraps called me away)
(*hugs Chi* awww. It's okay! You've got us ;P)
*still sat on the rock*
*waiting and ignoring her general appearance*
@Chi: Aw . . . :/
*hugs*
Don't worry about the water polo . . . you'll do water polo again soon and it'll feel all the better for you not having done it for a while. :)
And - yeah, it's way too warm here. -_-
Ice lollies. :) Ice lollies are the remedies for everything.
But ice cubes work for heat, though.
And - we're here . . . ?
Sort of.
We're sort of here.
You guys are the only people I talk to out of school anyway so if you don't count, I'm screwed. XD
@Silente: Spicy wraps sounds nice! :)
Well, I don't like spice so it doesn't, but the words sound nice. :) The word 'spicy' is so pretty . . . :)
OH
YES
SHOULD BE DOING HOMEWORK
SORRY
*mostly vanishes*
(Hey Star. Homework missy!)
@Silente: I KNOW, I KNOW. -_-
For history we have to make a webpage thing . . . ? D:
I don't even know what a typical webpage looks like. :P
(research! Your currently online, look at random webpages.)
MY MUM IS GOING TO BUY ME THE REPUBLIC IN LEATHER BOUND HARDBACK OMGGGGGGGGGG
(YEY LUCIIIIIIIII! YOUR MUM IS GREAT!)
Gemma has to wait till tomorrow until she plays water polo...
Gemma can't wait that longggggg
Gemma isn't on holiday until she plays water polo
And until Gemma gets a friend, she does on every holiday.
It is the second day, but Gemma feels that she won't find a friend this holiday.
So Gemma has to play water polo to be on holiday otherwise Gemma will get extremely bored and feel like she's in Scotland but it's actually sunny.
Hey Blogland family!
Sorry I've been away so long! Everything's, er, changed!
Just to let you know I am still here (on the internet) and finished my end of year exams! Woo!
Dau <3
Gemma needs to stop referring to herself as Gemma. Gemma needs to calm down. Gemma will probably still find a friend. Gemma needs to just sloooow down. Does Gemma got that?
I love how WordReference.com has about three different definitions for the same word but then one translation for all three. :)
Like 'learn'.
learn [sth] vtr (know by studying) "I would love to learn Spanish one day" - apprendre vtr
learn [sth] vtr (memorise) "The actor had to learn his lines" - apprendre vtr
learn [sth] vtr (skill: acquire) "Children usually start to learn to walk when they are about a year old" - apprendre (a faire) qch vtr
learn vtr (technique: master) "He learnt the art of stone masonry in just three years" - apprendre étudier vtr
learn [sth], learn that/who/what/why vtr (ascertain) "After three weeks of work, the detective finally learned who the killer was" - découvrir apprendre vtr
learn [sth], learn that vtr (discover) "Guess what I just learned by listening in to a phone conversation?" - apprendre découvrirvtr
learn [sth] vtr (become aware) "I only learned yesterday that he had died" - apprendre vtr
learn vi (acquire knowledge) "I don't know how to do it, but I'll learn" - apprendre vtr
XD
It's so fascinating, all these different-but-similar ways we use the word, though . . . :O
*loves WordReference.com*
*is dragged kicking and screaming through Blogland, clawing at the dirt with my hands and wailing*
BUT I WANT TO PLAY WITH MY BLOGLAND BUDDIES!
Clara's Homework: *continues heartlessly dragging me out of Blogland*
NO! YOU ARE GOING TO LEARN HOW TO MANIPULATE A SCATTER CHART, BITCH!
NOOOOOOOOoooooooo . . .
*my voice trails away as I am dragged out of Blogland*
@Chi: Welll . . . I never get friends on holiday.
My and my family just tend to stay away from other kids like antisocial people. :P
(Plus we generally go to campsites where they aren't many English people, and I don't like interacting with foreign people. It stresses me out a bit.
Plus I'm naturally antisocial and wouldn't have any friends at all if people didn't come up to me and try to be friends with me.)
(So yah.)
(I'm probably not the best person to talk to as far as making friends goes . . .)
Dau! :) *hugs*
@Clara: That reminds me of me. O_O
Oh wait.
I shouldn't be here. :/
@Silente: Yeah, that takes EFFORT. :P
Hey Star! *hugs* How's it been?
Hey Rhydian! Long time no see :) *hugs*
@Dau: I think it's been good! :)
*doesn't remember most of it, but oh well, it was probably good*
How's it been over where you are? :)
Hey Rhydian! :)
Heya Starry!
OMFG DAU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS BEEN WAY TOO LONG!!!!!!!!!!! HOW ARE YOU!!?!?!?!?!??!??
(Hey Rhydian! How are you?
*watches Clara being dragged away* *waves*
Hey Day how are you?)
Star - yay good! glad everything's good :) here: pretty okay, the last three/four months have been super stressful and stuff but my class has got through! Only one more year to go :D
guys i'm freaking out
so my friend met little mix and she went up to leigh (knowing that leigh is probably the girl i relate to the most) and said 'leigh, can you please say hi to my friend?"
leigh: "sure! who is it?"
jess: "jane"
leigh: "jane?"
jess: "yep"
leigh: "hi jane! love you!" *blows kiss at the camera*
gUYS SQDIJ
Good SiL! Happy coz me has awesome idea for rp. But must finish Horseman rp first haha but I'm fuming at school...Grrrr
**Dau not Day.
THAT'S HOW MY DAY WENT
RHYDIAN- I'm GOOD yay, thanks!!! SUPER happy that summer's finally here! How have you been this past half-year? :D
Hey Silente! *hugs* I'm great, thanks!!!
Hiya Mara! OMG HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!
Last half year - very active
Hey Mara! *hugs*
(OMG MARA YEY! THAT'S TOBY AND LEIGH SO FAR WHO YOU'VE HEARD SAY YOUR NAME!
@Rhydian why what's yo school done?)
MARALEIGHLILEIGHCHARMLEIGH :D
[hugs]
(Ah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah! *moves before Dau can hug* no hugs. No. *bops her nose* Non.)
AHHH SORRY SILENTE :D
@Dau: Well . . . yay for overness! :)
Hey again Mara. :)
OK...I shall rant
Tomorrow we were meant ot be going to go to College for a taster day, but Ofsted rung the Headmaster (Who's a dick) and said they'd be coming tomorrow. So the head has cancelled EVERYTHING for tomorrow and Thursday. So the entire school hates him even more now...he was like "let's show them what a good school this is!" that gained a few/lot of sniggers. Coz it's a shitty school. And school keep banning stuff. Now food/drinks at break, only lunches, and no earphones/headphones. But ear/headphones help me to work...? So fuck knows what he's up to
Rant over
(*nods* just so you know, I don't hug. Only occasionally do I allow people to hug me. And I myself try to avoid hugging. Handshake instead?)
(your heads a dick.)
((Yup...You better mean the headmaster, and not my actually head attached to my body :P))
*HUGS EVERYONE*
HOW IS EVERYONE
I'M CURRENTLY ON TOP OF THE WORLD
I'M GOOD MARA! APART FROM AN IDIOT HEADMASTER! BUT APART FROM THAT I'M AMAZING!!!!!!!
(I mean the head master. Not your actual head. If your actual head is a dick you may need medical attention and I commend you for being able to rype without eyes)
**try
Yeah. Btw Sil...I think I'm just going to kill Lena now. SOWWEE!!!!!!!! She needs to die for the rp to end, so yeah, it's the only way it's going to end
AH must go sorry!
*hugs everyone*
er wait
*handshakes Silente*
see ya! :)
Bye Dau!
Bye Dau! *shakes her hand too*
@Rhydian: We're not allowed earphones/headphones either. *shrugs*
And we're Outstanding so yah. C:
They let us have them in some lessons, though, like art and French (when we're memorising). And I know we're mostly not allowed music because the teachers need to make us listen to them and because we're not allowed our phones in lessons, and I know being able to listen to music in art means that some people have been abusing that and have been going on their phones and we've had a few music bans due to that . . .
but basically - I can totally see why he doesn't want you having your earphones. It's totally rational. And in the subjects where it might help, then . . . just have faith in your teachers to allow you?
But it's not going to disadvantage you greatly, don't worry.
Also - some people, like me, work better without music, but of course, because we like music, then if we could we'd listen to music in lessons anyway and so would disadvantages ourselves. *shrugs* He's not restricting your learning much.
('your learning' referring to the school as a whole . . .)
Fours, Dau! :(
@Silente: OH GOSH. XD
(Although it's worth noting that music, whilst it impedes my concentration, also stops me going off task. :P)
*pokes Star*
*pokes Silente*
*licks Stars face*
*pokes her*
*screams* NOT ANOTHER PERSON LICKING ME OH MY GOSH WHEREVER I GO I'M /LICKED/
*viciously pokes Silente back*
Sorry for vanishing! I had a fanfic idea and it's getting me emotional ;~;
@Mushroom: :( :(
Heya Luci! Oooooohh sounds interesting....What is this idea might I ask?
*pokes them both*
Hello Hecate. Nice to meet you!
*licks Chi*
*pokes Chi*
*winks and Star*
*EATS STAR! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!* *what? Oh...okay...er...* *so I'm not actually allowed to eat bubbles apparently...*
*doesn't eat star*
*POKES STAR NUMEROUS TIMES OVER AND OVER*
It's LFA fanfic, haha. I had a weird thought and realised how much I loved this book and just... I want to write a fanfic for it. :P
LFA?
Hey Lucifer! How are you?
Hey Rhydian. You have already met me. It's just boring old Chione.
*licks Silente's cheek*
Oh right...Hi Chi!
*licks Chi's nose*
Your not boring! Old maybe..*grins and winks*
*YAY!*
*pokes Silente happily*
LOOKING FOR ALASKA
SILENTEEEEEEEE! I'm good! You?!
*pokes Star back*
LUCIFEEEEEEEEEEER! I too be fine and doth thank ye for inquiring.
Gtg now :( BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RHYDIAN!
*licks Silente's eye*
((lol creepyyyyyyyyyyyyyy))
BYE RHYDIAN!
*blinks*
Eeeeeeeeyeeeeeees.
*licks Chi's ear*
*licks her nose*
Hello.
*looks up*
Hey!
*smiles and jumps from the rock*
Soph! I need to talk! Dont shoot!
(hey Dragona how are you?)
*draws her pistol and aims it at Silente*
What do you want?
(I'm fine, thanks. You?)
*puts her hands up slowly*
Help. I want help.
*scurries away from the licking, leaving Silente's poke unretaliated*
*watching! :)*
(fine thanks. How was your day?)
Hey Dragona!
(Interesting. My day was very interesting. N7 Demolisher = spammer of grenades. So yeah, my time was mainly spent blowing Cerberus soldiers to hell. :D How was your day?)
Help with what?
(Hey Lucia! How are you?)
(Hey Star! How are you?)
(pretty boring. I didn't really do much at school. Average day.)
Help with...well with me. I mean its clear there's something wrong with me. I enjoy the things that are viewed as wrong. And apparently that's not right. I was hoping you could fix me.
*folds arms* Fix you how, exactly? I'm not a bloody therapist.
I don't know. Your the one saying what I'm doing is wrong! I just..
*starts running hands through her hair quickly*
..I don't want to be broken. And that means being fixed! I can't tell you how to fix me! What I'm doing seems right to me!
*shrugs*
It's my job to take down people who do the things you do. You are unlawfully harming people and I can't allow it to happen.
If you were killing people who bloody deserved it, I'd think differently. But no, you harm people who have done nothing wrong. So yes, I think what you're doing isn't right.
I understand that you think that. And that's your opinion. So help me.
*sighs*
Look. You think what I do is wrong. I'm giving you a chance to fix it. Because I don't want to be driven away from my friends by you. And also I don't want to end up having a showdown with you!
*starts pacing*
Then simply stop killing people. It isn't hard. If you want to stop it so much it should be easy.
I'm good thanks, Dragona! Still irked about the tumblr thing, but good! You?
(I'm fine, thanks. ^^)
No it isn't easy. Not killing people to me is like not..like not breathing to you! It'd be like not having a shot after 1000 years of having 50 a day! You have no idea what killing does for me. It's just so..*smiles*..amazing. Absolutely amazing. And I can't explain it to you. You know what this is a mistake. You won't help me. I shouldn't have expected anything more
*walks past Sophia and keeps walking*
(Silente - "These soldiers are the go-anywhere, fight-anything special forces of the Alliance that were trained at the Interplanetary Combatives Academy in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. They had to survive combat situations "in an admirable and effective fashion" to receive the N7 rank. Many N7s now train other species in anti-Reaper asymmetric warfare.
The Demolisher uses grenades to attack at range and to terrorize the battlefield. Demolishers can also create a supply pylon that stocks allies with an unending reserve of grenades and thermal reloads.")
(:D)
I never said I wouldn't help you, Silente. I am no psychologist but I think it's possible. Do you want my bloody help or not?
(thats...a lot of grenades and thermal reloads....)
*stops walking*
*turns around*
Promise not to just shoot me?
*small voice*
I just really love Skulduggery Pleasant, Derek Landy, and everything about these books.
My eloquent words have failed me, and I am left with nothing but . . .
I love them.
((Hey Clara! Rereading by any chance?))
I wrote an LFA fic and I'm laughing really hard because it's terrible and heartless as frick.
Don't worry, all my writing is terrible. :P
SilenteTC . . . :/
(Sorry - I've actually gone distant now. :P)
If you promise not to kill anyone, yes.
You realise I can't promise that right. I don't make promises I might not keep
You can try not to kill anyone.
And you can try not to breathe.
*laughs* It's called holding your breath.
And how long can you hold your breath for? Hmmm. Exactly. Learn how to permanently hold your breath without being dead and then you can tell me not to kill people
It doesn't matter how long I can bloody hold my breath for. You can hold your breath several times as long as you have a quick breathe between each. So as long as the majority of the time you don't kill someone and substitute the times you're not with something else, we'll be fine.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S THUNDERSTORMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
IT NEVER THUNDERSTORMS! AND IT IS! AND IT'S ALL ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Star - yeah. It was storming here yesterday :P)
IT'S REALLY HEAVY RAIN AND IT'S HAILING TOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :D
That's not true. If you do that then you run out if breath. And end up breaking down and taking large gulps of air. It's safer to take normal breaths!
IT'S SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! :)
Yeah. It must have taken a day to travl across the country. :P
Or you learn how not to be oxygen-dependant.
Which is hard for humans but possible for etherdemons. :)
And -
people get over heroin addictions, don't they?
*shrugs*
. . .
Now it's blue sky and sunny . . .
?
*shrugs*
. . . The thunder's getting closer but it's calm . . . ?
(oh Star we got that about an hour or so ago. Tiny storm then blue sunny skies right?)
If you wanted my help, Silente, you'd stop arguing with me.
Have you tried poetry?
I'm argumentative. Deal with it
Writing it or reading it? In which case yes to both. It didn't help in the slightest.
I love how we can track the thunderstorm's progress across the country. XD
@Silente: And, um - yeah. :) There was an intense storm that faded away to peace quickly.
HEY THAT'S LIKE MY EMOTIONS :O
*rolls in~*
Hello. :3
@Star: YAY! :)
I like thunderstorms. We've had a couple the last few of weeks, o'er here. :3
I was sat downstairs playing guitar through the thunder earlier and it was weird and nice. :P :) ^^
Example:
Blood, running red and slow down the wall
How i long for your haunting call
Your ruby red sparkle, so bright and bold
Your beautiful grace could never grow old
(hey Taia!)
I started writing that comment 10 minutes ago. O_O
Between myself, my internet, and my computer, I think we could lose every race offered to us. :P
Hey Silente! :)
(how are you Taia?)
Have you tried a combat simulator?
@Taia: Yes, but you'd amuse people by your losing, and they could . . . not laugh AT you, but laugh WITH you, y'know?
And it would be fun. :)
And - :) :) :)
I can't play guitar.
I'd like to.
A combat simulator? No. I thought about it but...well...they aren't usually realistic. Or as fun...
I can't read music. And I don't play an instrument. However back when I did music in high school I could I start learning something when I heard someone play it or see them on the keyboard - but I couldn't even play it when they wrote the notes on the sheet for me.
http://www.wattpad.com/54096638-pushing-daisies
Super short LFA fic sorta thing. :)
Sorry for being distant, by the way. I'm sort of writing and thinking about all the quotes I've been thinking up and writing down...
Wait until you see mine, Silente.
I'm good, thanks, Silente. C: How're you?
@Star: *laughs* *nods* Yeah. :)
And I'm not particularly good. At all. BUt I don't care because it makes noise and it's fun. :P ^^
(sorry I'm so slow btw)
Whats so special about your simulator Sophia?
With mine you can have a shotgun which fires spikes.
(Food brb)
(I'm fine too Taia. Slightly tired but otherwise good.)
@Dragona: I can't read sheet music. But guitar tablature is easier, anyway. :P ^^
Hey Luce! Good on writing and thinking and things. :)
WBD
Hey Taia!
How are you?:3
We're taking finals, and i finished my math one. I have nothing to study for now. My life is complete.
I think it went well. I think my math went well, I mean there were a few problems I had no idea, but other then that I did fine I think. Guys, I have my last day tomorrow of school.
Omg a boy in my class fell asleep during his final.
@Silente: Well, tired can be cured with sleep, so... :) ^^
I'm good, thanks Luce.
I had most of today to just spend doing things and feeling good. It's been nice. :3
How are you? :)
@Zaf: That must feel GREAT. :)
@Taia: I love days like that . . . :) :)
(Sorry, poofed for dinner . . .)
I really wish people wouldn't ask me to draw stuff for them . . . I'm too nice to say no, so then I have to draw it, but I don't WANT to draw it, so I don't want to draw, and then when I finish my homework then instead of being like I CAN DRAW NOW YAY I'm just like "urghhhh now I have to draw I don't wanna draw", and . . .
When something becomes a chore, it stops being fun, y'know? :/
Anyway . . .
Ok. Well...I THINK we figured this out.
See I'm researching how the last names work for Asguard. Like...Thor's last name is Odinson, because Odin is his father. Question of the day is what do the women's names have? I feel because basically in any society we don't count, unless you count the modern world, they would be the same thing. That makes sense.
See I have this character my friend based off me, Zanida, and we know who her dad is. Its like way past the events of The Avengers and all. Like it started off with an event but...baaah.
Msd my friends are having a braiding war with my hair.
Hey Zaf! Awesome! :D
And- Whoops. D: I'm not sure what the equivalent of US exams to UK ones - how important are they? ^^
@Star: No problem. :)
Yeah, me too. :3
And- hm. :/ Maybe you could tell them you don't have time? Or give everybody really awful drawings until they stop asking? :P
Um. idk. Play music that you love and try to make the drawing something that you can enjoy in one way or another?
wbd - painting Captain Kirk because I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. :P
Rawr
@Zaf: Well, in The Inheritance Cycle, Roran's father was Garrow so he was Roran Garrowsson.
And Katrina was Ismira's daughter so she was Katrina Ismirassdaughter. XD
Dunno if that helps . . .
(Yes, the double 's' was intentional.)
@Taia: But I'm too nice to do awful drawings . . . :P
Also, part of my motivation is so they can go OH MY GOSH HOLLY THAT'S FANTASTIC YOU'RE SO GOOD AT DRAWING and then I can feel happy, so if I took away the trying-hard part there would be about 0% motivation as opposed to 10%. :P
Well
20%
because 10% from niceness.
SORRY FOR BEING DISTANT. I'm fascinated by my own mind... Which is weird, because I usually hate it. :P
That sounds ace, Taia! And I'm okay thanks:3
@Zaf: *nods* ... I think that the 'son' thing in names is not uncommon in history, generally speaking. I can't think of any names, because it's been a few years since I studied history, but, like... Gruffydd ap Llewellyn, who was son to Llewellyn ap Seisyll (I think) - in Welsh the 'ap' would be translated to 'son of'.
And, looking at a wikipedia page, it says that Gruffydd's wife was 'Ealdgyth of Mercia' and his mother 'Angharad ferch Maredudd'.
So, in the former case, she's named by her particular, like kingdom, I guess?
In the latter, 'ferch' would translate to girl/woman/daughter (of)- so I assume that's the female equivalent, pretty much the same.
I'm not sure where I'm going with that, or if it helps you at all. But, uh, yeah. :) ^^
So today, my phone has played for me (on shuffle), the A7X songs Save Me, The Wicked End, So Far Away, Afterlife, and Tonight the World Dies.
And it only played about two other songs besides those so I'm just like WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME ALL OF A7X'S MOST BEAUTIFUL SONGS WHAT IS THIS MADNESS WHY DO YOU NOT SHUFFLE NORMALLY but of course I'm pleased as well because like A7X and beauty and :).
@Mushroom: I'm constantly fascinated by my own mind . . .
It's the mind I know the best, so I'm just like ANALYSIS. XD
Star, your mind is incredible and I find myself in awe of it far more than what would probably classed as normal.
I just... I never understood what Beth meant when she said I was really poetic... Then I read some of the things I've written and I'm 394% sure that I did not write half of this, because I do not possess the ability to write at such a level as much of this is written.
WB Dragona! :)
Hey, Chi/Hecate! :)
@Star: :P
Ok. Well... idk.
I suppose if you're pleased with the result, then that can add to motivation. Like when you finish making something, and you like it, and you feel, like, omnipotent from the sheer pride.
But if the subject or whatever that you're drawing doesn't mean that much to you and such, idk if that still applies?
But, um. idk. Sorry. :P
@Luce: :)
Hello?
FAAAAAAAABIIIIIIIIIIIII *cuddles* Hello:3
@Mushroom: *laughs*
Uh
yeah
I'm relatively certain that my mind is only as incredibly, as interesting and as incredibly interesting as everyone's else's, but thank you. :)
Of course you possess the ability to write like that . . . you're amazing at writing, and you're amazing at . . . not being poetic, but what she meant by that, I think?
That's not to say you're not poetic. I'm just trying to say what I think she was trying to say, but I don't know how to say it, so -
yeah. :P
@Taia: *frowns*
But I'm not going to feel any more pleased with the result than I am from the results of doing word art.
And word art is FUN. :/
*hugs, though, because - :) Yeah8
*incredible
*just screwed up that sentence there* *facepalms*
I dedicate this page to the smell of old books, yellowed paper, and the copy of the Fannie Farmer cookbook that Mom got for Dad when they first got their own house.
The binding is basically gone, and the several layers of tape Mom tried to fix it with are peeling. The pages are all yellowed, covered in chocolate, or both. We've all memorized most of the recipes anyway, and Dad got a copy of the newer edition for their anniversary, but we're never throwing that book away. It still has the heart and message Mom wrote inside it in rainbow markers, all the little notes in the margins, like "bake for 9 mins instead of 12 w/ new cookie sheets" or "goes well with crust on page 251." And it's just so... Comforting. I have a tendency to open it and gingerly flip through the pages after anyone in my family fights. Which does happen. Stubbornness runs on all sides. It's a reminder, though, that we really love each other, even though we're all stubborn weird perfectionists who get angry sometimes.
I also dedicate this page to Grandpop's study, which is full of shelves of cookbooks (every edition of everything, basically) and magazines (from fashion to building things), and sci-fi stuff and photo albums... Most of it's older than I am, and I love the feeling of that room.
Lastly, to diaries. I've never been good at keeping them, but oh well.
LUCCCYYYYY [cuddles] Hi. :-)
Hi Star. [hugs]
That's beautiful, Lantern . . . *hugs*
Hear, hear. :) :) :)
*laughs* Star, think what you wish, but I think that your mind is more wonderful than most others'. You have an unusually distinctly unique perspective of the world and I think it is incredible.
As for my poetic ability, I agree that it's there to an extent, but only to an extent; some of the things I have come out with are oddly pretty and are peculiar in the way that they sound wonderful to the ear. Beth always says I come out with poetic stuff, like whenever I go to bed I say something really poetic to her because I have to get rid of the last spurt of creativity so that my mind can rest in its cradle of dreamless sleep, but... *shrugs* I don't know anymore.
But thank you for the compliment regarding my writing. It means a lot. <3
How are you, Fabi?
Amazing ded, by the way. Almost as amazing as you are. :)
FABIULOUS! *hugs*
How are ye doing? :)
@Star: *hugs back* *nods* Yeah.
Idk. I'm trying to think, like...
I was thinking how I don't really know what it's like to have to draw things you don't want to, and then realised that, actually, I really do. It's most of the reason that I'm not continuing art in education, any more.
My art lessons these past two years quickly became my least favourite subject, and it's horrible when something that you always enjoy and WANT to enjoy and SHOULD enjoy stops being enjoyable. Because you're sitting there having to do this even though you really don't want to do it, at all, and you know that you should be enjoying it but you can't and you can't but you have to do it and it sucks.
And I think the way that I did it was just finding music that feels good, and trying to feel good, and just kind of do it? I'm not sure how to explain it, exactly. But there's something in giving in to those lines in the music that you want to sing/yell and throw your arms about like an idiot... and somehow I think that if you can make things fit together, even though you've still got to do the thing you don't want to do, if you have the good in your head from the song or whatever, and you have the good in your arms and hands from throwing them about while you're singing lyrics dramatically... It's your head and your hands that do the drawing, and so that goodness feelings kind of fit into the drawing, they kind of merge?
I don't know how to explain it, and I don't think I'm doing it right, but, like...
If you can be enjoying yourself already (and also sometimes it also can help if you sort of warm-up drawing stuff that you do want to, maybe?), that enjoyment can be transferred into the thing that you have to do, kind of.
I don't know.
But it's like... If it's something that you feel you have to do, even though you might not really want to, then adding some form of enjoyment to it will always be better than not.
And so maybe it's just about finding a way that you can get on with it?
Which is maybe sometimes just doing it, and maybe sometimes making all of the fun in other things and sort of just making the chore be a part of that.
I don't know if any of that makes sense, or if any of it is useful. My words are all disconnect-y and I keep typoing like every other word and I don't know. But, yeah. :)
Sorry I took the dog for a walk.
@Mushroom: . . . No, that's Hunter. :P
I don't really have a perspective.
Thank you, though . . . :)
Well, your writing IS amazing. :)
That's beautiful, Taia. :)
And - yes. I agree.
I don't listen to music as well as I should when I'm drawing, though, because you know how my brain is really one-track?
Well, the train track is only so wide, and there isn't really enough room for me to draw AND pay full attention to the music, so . . . :P
I mostly use my music to get into my Zone, though.
You know, the Zone where you just drift off, and you just . . . drift off. Like you're in a dream, really, and your thoughts aren't fully connected in the way they are in reality, so you're just utterly focused on what you're doing.
Like . . . when I memorised that English assessment (2400 words in two days WHOO), I had to write the assessment in two hours.
So I just got into the hall and I sat there and it poured out.
And of course I was conscious whilst I was writing it, of course I had some thoughts going through my head, but it was just me and the essay, and then at the end of the two hours I just of looked up like Hello, me and kind of had to do that check . . . like I opened the door back into my mind and I kind of looked around and saw all my projects I was working on and went oh yeah I'm doing that and saw all the spots where I normally reside and just kind of took in my mind again, and it's kind of a I'M BACKKKKKK moment and DID YOU MISS ME????, and -
I'm rambling off now. :P
But anyway. I go to my Zone. I like it there.
I think the problem with drawing you don't want to do is when you're NOT in your Zone. Like . . . I really look forward to doing word art, and I get all excited over it. But with zombie drawings for friends I procrastinate it. And maybe I like it when I get in my Zone, but I don't really WANT to go there, y'know?
. . .
Yeah. :/ That was ranty. :P
And - I totally agree about the art-for-school thing . . . :/ I don't like doing art for school either.
Definitely not taking it for A Level.
(I don't know what I want to take for A Level! D: Somebody help?)
Boomy?
*hugs Fabi*
Amazing dedication.
I think I have said before about how beautiful that kind of recollection of items and moments and experiences is. About how you can have all of these things which are so everyday to you, how everything just IS, and there's something amazing in being able to notice and pick out those little specific moments and idiosyncrasies.
There are so many huge things in the world that all of the tiny things sort of get hidden and blocked out. But it's the tiny things that DO things, I think. They're the part that means the most.
And even though they're just those little happenings, yellowed pages and notes on margins and recipes, they're huge because they're important. And it's the kind of sentiment.
I don't know. I'm really not in my element with words today, and I don't know how to say the things that I mean.
But it always amazes me when people are able to pick things out like that: like flicking through a cookbook after an argument, or sitting out on the doorstep eating watermelon through a thunderstorm... In don't know. They're things that are real, and that's striking, somehow.
I don't know. But my point is, your dedication is beautiful. ANd, that. *nods* ^^
I am okay. You?
Sorry, had to disappear for lunch.
Thank you. [hugs]
TAIACERATOPS! [hugs]
[points to the above]
You see, when I be Hunter, I kind of mentally construct his train and just drive that around for a bit, but when I stop being him and his train dissipates, I can't seem to find my train again, and the track is just EMPTY, and I'm just wandering around lifelessly wondering where the hell my home is and why the hell I can't construct it.
But my room isn't something I construct. It's just something that's there for me, always.
And so I can't pull it up out of thin air like Hunter's train.
I have to just kind of . . .
It's like Slipknot's Circle.
"Give me the dust of my father
Stand on the face of the ancients
Bare the secret flesh of time itself
Follow me (Follow me)
I've come so far, I'm behind again
Follow me (Follow me)
I wish so hard I'm there again
Follow me (Follow me)
Follow me (Follow me)
All that I wanted were things I had before
All that I needed, I never needed more
All of my questions are answers to my sins
All of my endings are waiting to begin
I know the way, but I falter
I can't be afraid of my patience
There's a sacred place Razel keeps safe
Follow me (Follow me)
I've seen so much I'm blind again
Follow me (Follow me)
I feel so bad I'm alive again
Follow me (Follow me)
All that I wanted were things I had before
All that I needed, I never needed more
All of my questions are answers to my sins
All of my endings are waiting to begin"
- and it's like -
if you look for it, you don't find it
if you forget you're trying to get there, you get there
and it's not something you can physically find
it just kind of appears.
You know?
*has totally forgotten what I was even saying*
Anyway. So that's why I have identity crisis's, because I have a trainless track, and so there isn't anyone there and I'm not being Hunter but I've forgotten how to be me. :)
(Now I've worked out how to be one person who isn't me, though, I'm thinking I should expand. So then I have a whole menagerie of people to call on at a moment's notice. XD)
@Lantern: You know what Taia just said to you?
Pretend I said it. :) Because that's what I wanted to say, and what I've been wanting to say for years, but I've never worked out how. :P
[hugs Taia]
Thank you.
Your response was amazing as well.
Fabi have I ever told you that you have a beautiful mind? Because you do. I would normally just say hear hear to a dedication I agree with but yours...there something about it that deserves more than a hear hear. Maybe its honesty. Maybe the fact that there are emotions in it. Perhaps the fact that even when your family isn't perfect it still is. Whatever it is I felt like it needed more celebration than just hear hear. It was an honest, kinda heart touching dedication. Hear hear.
(sorry, had to go eat)
@Star: *nods* That's... yes. :)
And- I get you about not being in that zone, or not wanting to be there.
For me, I think it's handy that I have a multitude of zones. And so if one doesn't work, I have others.
Like... There's the kind of zone where I'm drawing something that I love and that's enough. There's the zone where I have something like Tom Waits playing and the house is empty and I just start breaking into song at those immensely powerful lines and there are hand gestures and it's just like fullness and more on the music, and the drawing happens mostly when my voice can't reach the notes. :P There are zones where I can be drawing something and at first it's just reality drawing away and focus, like you said, but then that focus stays but at some point my mind starts doing things and I'll have an entire conversation in my head without even noticing, so it doesn't subtract from the art focus. There's the kind of zone where my brain is all wacky and I'll be scribbling stupid things because my brain made it so. :P
I think maybe those zones have built partially through the times trying to draw in the zone and trying to draw without the zone. I don't know. But it's handy to have that versatility. *nods* :) ^^
WBD
Thank you, Silente. [hugs]
Am writing.
*lays head a ball+
@Star: To be fair, I don't think I've worked out how to say it yet, either. :P
*hugs Fabi back* :) :) :)
@Star: Wow. I don't have words to put together a response to that, but, wow. :) ^^
*is in agreement with Silente, also, who commented on things that I didn't pick up onw with words, and now I understand those things too, and, :):), y'know?* ^^
@Dragona: Yay! :D
@Silente: -_-
Everyone is better at words than me . . .
*hugs Silente* :) That's beautiful.
@Lantern: You know what Silente said to you?
Pretend I said that as well. :)
@Taia: It probably is. :) :)
I don't think I can draw not in my Zone, though. If I'm not in my Zone, I just get distracted and don't end up doing anything. XD
(That's why I'm only distant when I don't really have anything to do, because if I'm doing homework, I'm just procrastinating all the time, whereas if I'm drawing I'm just in my Zone. I can be in my Zone for homework, too, but it's harder to get there and only works for some things.
And if I wasn't fully paying attention to my drawing, I couldn't really DRAW. :P
But I never sing whilst drawing, so . . . *shrugs*
That Zone sounds a good one. :)
I don't have conversations in my head very well . . . because I say my thoughts, I think? So I can easily pretend I'm saying something and that goes well, but I can't have conversations, and it all starts drifting off and becomes more intentions than words except then the intentions are less defined and then it's all drifty and not really anything . . .
I go into a Zone when I think, so I can't remember thinking very well . . . I remember doing things like sitting in vehicles and staring out the window, and my brain will drift from drift to drift to drift, and I will think all kinds of things, but I can't remember what it feels like to think them, and I can barely remember them afterwards.
It's like with dreams. I rarely remember my dreams very well. I will wake up, sometimes, and I know I dreamed, but it's all vague and drifty and all the details are gone and maybe I remember a few key events, but I can't remember what it felt like to be int he dream, you know . . . ? Like . . . when you're watching little kids play sport, I always feel an affinity for the ones who are crap at it, because I know how that feels and I can remember doing sport like they're doing and how the situation worked and just the whole tone of the thing. And the kids who are good at sport - they're Them, and I have that boundary in my mind that I usually reverse for general society. :P
*hasn't wanted to be part of general society for as long as I can remember - the main group is always Them, and to be one of Them . . . it's disappointing, when someone you know is, because you thought they were better than that. XD*
But even for the kids who are good at sport . . . you know how it feels to be good at things, to be just kind of hanging around there, impatient, whilst everyone else stuffs up and wishing you were setted.
So I can imagine being the kids.
So I just can use empathy, instantly.
But I can't use empathy with dreams. I can't think "How does it feel to be dreaming?" because I can't remember very well.
And when I think, in my head . . .
afterwards, it's like a dream. I can't remember it. I can't empathy myself into it. I don't know how it feels.
Yeah . . .
That's proper daydreaming, I'm talking about. Obviously I can remember thinking. :P
Um . . .
yeah.
I totally wandered off point there, and now the fact I can't define daydreaming/dreaming (oh, so THAT'S why daydreaming is called daydreaming!!!!!! :O
I mean, I knew that already, but the 'dreaming' connection just has all this new significance for me and asdfghjkl -) is irritating me, like those adverts of people with milk moustaches and you just want to wipe the milk off so bad, you're rubbing your mouth but it's still THERE, and you just have to look away and stop thinking about it.
So yeah. :P
[Pretends Star said everything]
[Wonders why she's the only one here]
XD
I'm here, just distant.
@Lantern: XD
No - I mean, pretend I said it AS WELL as them, except they can get all the glory. :)
The only thing that annoys me about writing is when you have ONE part in a story, whether it be one line or one paragraph which doesn't SOUND right. That really annoys me, especially when the paragraph is necessary and you HAVE to have it in but it doesn't FEEL right and no matter how you word it, it always ends up like that - not sounding right.
GUYS I HAVE A 95 FOR MY GRADE IN HONORS ENGLISH THIS IS A MIRACLE I HAVE NOT GOTTEN A 90 EVEN ALL YEAR
(Well done, Zaf. ^^)
CONGRATS ZAF!
@Star: *nods* The singing-y zone IS a good one, I think. :P
ANd- I totally get that. :) :) :)
My mental conversations I think drift off like you described, and then realise they were in conversation, kind of? They keep the conversational feeling but it's not really... Well, I don't know what it is, but I guess that's kind of the point. :P
Often I'll start by having a point that's in my head in the conversation-thing, but it just goes off track by what you called intentions and drift. And then it'll realise and kind of go 'ANYWAY, back to the point-', and stop because I have no idea what the point was. So then I go 'ok well I'll just carry on then,' but then I can't remember anything at all and it's just gone. And there's no way of being back there. It's just something you drift to at some point. I don't know.
But it's like, after my exam this morning I got the bus home, and because this was like 10:30 - 11 am, the bus was full of pensioners.
And one of them is a lady who gets on the bus every day when I do going TO school in the morning. And she's nice but also kind of scary, in that way that old people sometimes are.
ANd she was sat in front of me and at one point she started coughing, and this big sympathy blob in me started going 'no don't cough be healthy ok?!!!' and then 'okay goopd you've stopped- wait can you- no, you can't read minds, right?' and there was a bit of wordless intentions that I don't know how to explain because I don't know how it feels or how to explain feelings, but it's kind of a mixture of paranoia and Chaos Walking feelings and telepathy. And then somewhere I got back into words seamlessly, and I'd developed this whole conspiracy that maybe when we get old we develop telepathic abilities, but it's a secret and only the old people know, because it's no fun being telepathic if everybody KNOWS you're telepathic, is it? Or maybe it is? But-
And it kind of went on. And I have no control over this.
Except maybe I had a little control because I can remember it whereas usually I am clueless, but, idk.
I think I'm just remembering this and going off track now. Yeah. :P
@Fabi: XD
@Dragona: Hm. I know what you mean, but I have no advice because I've never gotten past that. :P Sorry. :(
@Zaf: Wow! Fantastic! C: :) :) :)
@Taia: Yeah . . . that's why I love thinking by typing my thoughts here. Because then you can scroll up and go "oh yeah". :P
My thoughts tend to just sound as if I'm ranting . . . although if I've been reading, they can sound like I'm reading (has anyone else ever thought about themselves in third person like in a book or is it just me?), and . . . yeah.
And - your mind sounds so cool. :) :) :)
I wish my brain did that . . .
@Zaf: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) *hugs*
@Dragona: Well, I kind of drift off a bit when I'm writing as well, so I pay less attention to these things, and also, if in doubt, I make up words or just use incomprehensible metaphors that don't make sense in normal-person speak but kind of have the correct tone. :)
(Of course, you can't do that in speech, but then it's them talking, not me, so it's fine. :))
@Star: *laughs* Yeah! :)
(I've thought in third person before, too. :P)
And- *laughs again* My mind is a bit cool. :P
But it's also a bit unfortunate, because things like that bus scenario happen in public places often, because my brain just disconnects and wanders. And so firstly, I start to lose awareness of what's going on around me, and people can be shouting my name right at me I don't notice until there's a space in the conversation, and my brain goes, 'oh, there's a name being shouted. wonder who that is. I think I know that person...', and listens for a while before realizing 'oh crap that's ME' xD
And also that paranoia that my thoughts are being Chaos Walking type broadcasted to everybody hits me quite often and it's it's quite scary. :P ^^
I'm so happy!!!
@Zaf: :) :) :) !!!
[..I keep trying to quote Tom Waits' lyrics that I hear and feel the urge to type, but then I just can't, because so much, especially in his live performances, is in his expression. Like, the lyrics are incredible but sometimes you just have to HEAR them first. And I have this huge compulsion to lyricsspam but I don't know HOW and it's distressing me. So I'm doing the closing thing I can do, which is to explain that. :P]
@Taia: I tend to jump back to awareness when my name is said. Like . . . my unconscious level of thought listens to everything around me and decides what to transmit to me. So if I'm not conversing, it won't tell me what any of the conversation is saying, but if my name comes up in a sentence, it kind of goes "Hang on, that sentence is important" and sends it through so I hear it.
I think . . .
I can't remember having been woken up from a daydream before, but like I said, I can't remember dayrdreaming very well. :P
Also -
in songs, sometimes I think I hear my name in the background noise, and it freaks me out because I think that someone's been shouting my name for the past few minutes and I haven't heard because I've had my headphones on, so I tend to pull them off in a panic . . .
In a lot of songs, I've mentally worked out where I think it says my name. Like . . . I hear my name in Surfacing by Slipknot in the last chorus, and I hear it in Another Way To Die by Disturbed -
We had a playlist on in our campervan and Another Way To Die was on it, and obviously it sounds different out of the campervan speakers to out of my headphones, so when it got to the part where I think I hear my name I was expecting it but I didn't hear it because of the different in how the song sounds, and it was kind of startling.
Also kind of cool, how my brains logs and expects these things. :)
But ANYWAY -
yeah.
I think I'm quite aware to my name, my point is.
Also . . . my mind needs to be stimulated . . . which is part of my incessant need to fiddle. Like, I can't just sit there in my bedroom being still and think. I pace around, or I pick at the skin around my fingernails, or I type to you people. :)
(But I'm generally attacking the skin around my fingernails anyway if I'm not doing anything else, so meh.
This is why I bought Blu-Tack. :/)
so in vehicles, I can look out of the window and watch the world whizz by, so I often drift off then. And I tend to be silent when I'm eating.
But I think if I'm not doing anything, I do tend to be paying attention to conversations.
I THINK.
I may have to remember to think about this, test it out . . .
And - even if your thoughts were being broadcast, I doubt they'd catch much, so it's okay. :)
@Taia: Yeah - you can't catch music in typing . . . :/
Partially why I don't really lyricsspam anymore. :P
@Zaf: YAY! :)
Also - sorry. :P If people rant, then it's kind of an open invitation to rant back, so I just end up having a lovely time ranting and unintentionally ignore everyone. XD
Also, if people are conversing with ME, then obviously I'll be conversing back.
(unless we're walking - walking/pacing is my best stimulator, so often when walking I'm talking my mind tends to go a bit drifty and I'm just backchannelling and barely remembering to pay attention. :P
Sometimes - depends on the conversation, obviously. :))
But in group conversations - yeah, I often drift off in those, and then I'm just stood there like . . . idk what we're talking about anymore . . .
I'm soooo happy
@Star: *nods* *nods some more* *sometimes there are words I could say, but I don't really need to say them, because reiterating what you've just said isn't necessary, because, like, you just did it, kind of? :P*
On the fiddling- I think that's kind of why I can sing or mentally drift while I'm drawing, like the drawing kind of just becomes a form of finger-picking or typing or tapping things. *nods* :) ^^
I fully empathize on the group conversation part, also. I'll just look up suddenly from the depths of me mind and not have a clue. :P
And- *seconds Star's rant-apology, but about me. :P*
@Taia: I know that feeling. :) You want to rant in agreement, but they've said it all so there's nothing to rant to. :P
And - ohhhhhkay. :)
I wish I had the confidence to sing whilst drawing, now. I'd like to try it out. :)
And - if looking out of a car window can be a form of fiddling, I'm sure singing can be. :)
Yeah . . . group conversations are a bit sucky really. :)
Oh. :P Sorry for making you rant?
@Zaffy: Good! C: C: C: C: C:
(Those faces feel different in rows to in singularity, but the feeling is of the singular one, but, like, more. So. idk. I think I'm just not used to how that looks. :P )
@Star: *nods* :)
I'll add- group conversations in TALKING. I pay attention to group conversations in written word, unless my brain's being blurry or I'm distant. :P
My brain doesn't tend to get lost that much when I'm here unless I start typing thoughts to become rants. :P
And- no problem? :P I think I may have started the ranting in the first place anyway, so, sorry? :P
(But everybody else seems to have kind of dissipated and now I feel weird. :P)
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