This year is the fiftieth anniversary of Doctor Who. To celebrate, Puffin Books asked eleven different authors to take a Doctor and write a story. When I was asked, I said I'd only do it if I could write for the tenth or eleventh incarnation. Puffin gave me Ten. I was a happy bunny.
It was such a joy to write this character. As you all know, I've been a fan of the show since I was a kid, and David Tennant holds joint top-spot with Matt Smith as my favourite Doctor. In my opinion, it was Tennant's era when the Doctor's love of dialogue really came out— that quick-fire patter that he does so well — and it was an absolute pleasure to channel that.
The Mystery of the Haunted Cottage will be released as an e-book on October 23rd (my birthday! Skulduggery's deathday!) and then it, along with the other stories, will be collected into a PHYSICAL book which will be out near the end of November.
There will be a video released in a week or two where I talk more about it, but in the meantime, here's a link to a snippet (which explains where the somewhat old-fashioned title comes from...)
http://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/interactive/2013/oct/01/doctor-who-mystery-haunted-cottage-derek-landy-extract
Posts
4,966 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 4801 – 4966 of 4966Don't break your dad's iPhone 5S, Death. They're very expensive, and the 62GB ones cost over $1000, and that, I am told, is a lot of money.
Well your iPod will get fixed we have something called iDropped it is genius, mere hours and your Apple product is fixed
Us Aussies don't have that. We have hammers... And Thor... Because he's an Aussie...
Ah....sorry Rose im in school :/
HI PEOPLE
Hello everyone! I'm here, I guess... but mbd, french homework...
hey mith! *hugs*
((The 64GB ones cost $399. Which is still a lot of money, but less than half of $1000.))
#ChaseForBook9
Hey Blaze! *hugs back* Sup?
*yawn* Good morning. I am only sort of here today, I'm afraid. How have y'all been in my absence?
((Hi Ari!!!! *pokes*))
hi aretha! *hugs*
Oh you know mith, telling Derek about my dream about him on twitter. Him calling me a weirdo and weird...
the usual :)
you?
((I cant get on twitter
HEY ANNI! :D
And HI ARI!
AND HI ZAFFY!
*hugs everyone*
@Blaze: Dream about Derek? TELL MEEEEE! :D
Um... nothing exciting... my life is boring.
I want to watch Sherlock but I'm not brave enough to watch The Reichenbach Fall... I watched all the other episodes but I can't watch the Fall...
REICHENBACH IS SOOOO GOOD THOUGH!
Moriartyyyyyyy
Sherlockkkkkk
Johnnnnnnnn
It's soooooo goooooooood.
Sorry, I'm not feeling very articulate to-day.
No problem, Anni^^
I know.... I really WANT to watch it but I can't... I saw like, the first two or three mins and I was crying and turned the TV off...
*pats Mithria on the shoulder*
There there, Miss Holmes, you will be fine.
ani- NOOOOOOO ;-; *falls on the floor in an ugly mess of tears and pain*
zaf- HIIII
Mith- well ive had two lately.
The first I was at school and Derek was there, and he was doing signings but i wasnt allowed in for some reason. And i asked my friend if they could get everything that i had there signed and they were like 'NOPE' i cried even when i woke up.
the SECOND one I was with Dau for some reason. And he was there and we were at a signing and he tweeted me before saying Im weird cause i said 'HIIIIIIIIIII HI HI HI PLLLLLZ TLK TO MEEEEEEE HIIIIII' or something like that. And so he was there and i was like 'GUESS WHO IT IS?" and he said "umm...." AND i hugged him and then said 'IM THE WEIRD ONE!" and he said "WHICH ONE" so i had to explain that i was eld. and then he said i was weird again :D
my dreams are great.
NO FALL NO *is still vilently sobbing in the corner.* Im not joking, water is comming from my eyes.
Well, I will be fine. But John won't be fine. No one else will be fine.
The thing is: I KNOW THAT SHERLY WON'T BE DEAD. But I just can't watch it.
Blaze, your dreams are pretty cool^^ Btw, do I call you Blaze or Eld?
I have a spontaneous pop-quiz question for everyone! This ones an easy one: Who is your favorite still-living author, apart from our darling golden god. Mine is Neil Gaiman.
Cornelia Funke. Definitely.
either either. (with the different ways of saying them if you get it :p)
People call me both.
*still violently sobbing. PLEASE MAKE THIS STOP!!!! IM ALIVE JOHN nooooooooooooooooo but aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh MORIARTY IS JUST SO ANNOYINGLY FABULOUSL JUST PLEAS IM HIS DAUGHTER ID KNOW...
dopey doop im still crying ;-; how could you:(*
Ooh! Are we talking dreams! Okay, a week ago, I dreamed I was running down my street through the autumn leaves, but then I got his by a car full of gay guys in kilts. They were super apologetic about the whole ordeal so they invited me to a cocktail party in their mansion. Apparently, one of them, the one who owned the mansion, was a really rich alpaca farmer, so he threw a massive Great-Gatsby-style party every month. Then, at the party, I met a guy who looked exactly like Leonardo diCapprio but wasn't Leonardo diCapprio, and we got married and bought the alpaca farm.
Then I woke up.
*to Blaze*...I... sorry? Excuse me?
I know, Blaze, I know. Moriarty is my soul mate.
That is a very interesting dream, Doctor.
*hit, by the way
... John Green, James Patterson, Veronica Roth, JK ROWLING, Erin Hunter...
IDK
*hugs Blaze* Noooo, don't cry! Because I'm crying now, too...
HEY EMBER!! :)
Thank you, Mycroft.
☂MITH YOU HAAAAVE TO WATCH IT☂
☂BECAUSE I HAVE MYCROFT THEORIES ABOUT IT AND I MUST SHARE THEM WITH YOU☂
☂But also because it's an awesome episode.☂
☂HEYYYYYYY☂
☂...☂
☂How long are you guys on for? I really shouldn't be on this early.☂
You are most welcome.
MYCROFT! hey, no im not Jim's daughter. Course not. Why would i be. thats just obsured...
(*sighs* I... Okay. I will watch it. But I'm not sure if I'll watch it today... sorry. Btw, is Mycroft still unconscious? Because someone hit him yesterday, remember?
And I can come on again later if you want...)
I don't know how long I'll be on, but I'm only sort of here anyway since I'm multitasking . . .
(i have sherlock cluedo sitting here. and no one to play it with :()
☂That would be better.☂
☂☂waggles fingers☂☂
☂He woke up on your couch and left for work, let's say.☂
☂He also left you a note thanking you for looking after him and some money for John.☂
☂I wish I was with you, I'd play it. I ALWAYS LOVED CLUEDO☂
(Ohhh. I had planned such a nice scene...^^ Ok, tell me when, I'll try and be here then.)
☂How about I see you in, uh, an hour?☂
☂Anni, can you make it in an hour?☂
ment to be on for 5 more minutes... but you know that means like another threee hours :P i went to bed at 2am yesterday :P
THX STARKID
☂aw. Well, I can un-un-whatever. Nice scenes are nice. If it won't take a while, we can do that now!☂
(Make it in an hour to do what? RP?)
☂So where do you want him to wake up?☂
☂Or do you want him to stay unconscious?☂
(Sorry, I wasn't listening. Or reading, rather . . .)
☂Uh-huh.☂
(im back. with my true identity...
I WISH YOU WERE HERE TOOOOOOO SEP)
☂This reminds me of when Deathy was the daughter of Serpine.☂
☂Being the daughter of Mycroft would be stupid because Mith would be my mother☂
☂☂lets that sink in for a second☂☂
☂I'm better off being Mycroft.☂
I think I can be here in an hour, but please don't hate me if it turns out I either can't or can't stay for outrageously long after . . .
Sorry Saph... Yeah, I did fall asleep...
#ChaseForBook9
*sigh*
I miss Nefarian. Why'd you have to go and mention Nefarian?
*Mycroft is lying on her couch, still unconscious*
*is sitting right next to him*
*touches his head carefully, caressing his cheek softly* Come on... wake up. Please.
(Meh... I wrote this when I was almost asleep... It seemed to be better last night...)
☂FABI☂
☂☂hugs☂☂
☂It's okay, Anni. I won't be annoyed. Life happens. We can't control every aspect of it.☂
☂That's fi--☂
☂☂turns head to Mithria slowly☂☂
☂Wha--☂
☂Anyway, do you want him to become conscious or unconscious?☂
☂☂facepalm☂☂
☂Become conscious or STAY unconscious, I mean.☂
(THIS SHIP IS A NEW OTP)
(Hallo, Fabi! Thank you for being understanding, Ember.)
(I guess Blaze hasn't heard about Osmosis yet, which is still the best name for a ship in the history of ever . . .)
S'okay, Fabi, I was glad you got to sleep. And you'd made me feel a bit better anyway :)
(Ember I haven't seen you in ages!!)
Anyone excited for House of Hades coming out today?
(hey fabi! *Hugs*)
☂What's Osmosis?☂
☂True. It's a good ship name. But I still love White Roses (also known as Thorns) and Cherry Limeade...☂
☂I KNOW, SAPH! Haven't updated my SP stuff in how many months now...☂
☂I never saw House of Hades...☂
☂Not actually sure what that is...☂
☂☂facepalms☂☂
(Osmosis is the ship name Adra and Niccolo came up with for Doctor Precocious and her/my nemesis, Oscar Neurotic, during my last RP. It was a good RP. it had demon llamas in it, and a spoof of the Raptors in the Kitchen scene from Jurassic Park.)
I like Harley Davidson. It's an awesome ship name.
(Ember you did see my thingy, didn't you?)
(I would go on a RPing lark on my own, but I don't have time to write one up. I'll do one next time, though.)
*comes swinging in from a building that explodes as i jump of it. shoots a grapelhook and ninja jumps to the floor. running form the scene*
☂Yeah, I did :)☂
☂Do you need me to continue it, and if so, should he wake up or stay unconscious?☂
☂Yep, from what I've seen, I ship Osmosis.☂
☂Harley Davidson? Which ship is that?☂
Anni; That's awesome! Hi, by the way. I'm Saph :) *offers virtual cookie*
My friends had this fight in class over Harley Davidson and Pepperoni. It weirded everyone out XD
(If I tried to do one now, it would probably end up being something like:
Doctor Precocious went on a fabulous adventure, where she slew the dragon, saved the prince, had a cup of tea, and listened to Best of Panic! At The Disco mix tapes! Yippee!
THE END)
(Oh, Ember, honey, I think EVERYONE ships Osmosis.)
☂You should slay the prince and save the dragon.☂
☂Now THAT would be something worth reading.☂
☂Oh wait. Wasn't that Shrek?☂
(He could wake up... I actually didn't think aboutwhat should happen now a lot... You know, I was almost asleep... And then my mind gets even more crazy than usually...)
☂☂fist-pumps Anni☂☂
Ember; House of Hades is the newest Percy Jackson book :)
o_O
... I thought you of all people would know what Harley Davidson is. It is, after all, a Homestuck ship.
☂I know the feeling, darling Mith.☂
☂Well I should probably run away now, and when I have more plot material I'll come back to the unconscious thing.☂
☂See you, everybody!☂
☂☂hugs Saph and Fabi because I didn't get to talk to them much☂☂
☂Harley.☂
☂Jade and?☂
☂ALSO SINCE WHEN DO YOU READ HOMESTUCK, SAPH☂
Hey Saph, shouldn't you be asleep now? [hugs]
Hi Ember, Annika, Eld, Mith [hugs]
#ChaseForBook9
Anni; Brilliant plot! XD
(Okay, Ember! See you in an hour then? Well, I'll come back in an hour and we'll see if we see each other... What sounds quite weird. I'll shut up now and return in an hour. See you all!)
☂Or maybe my memory's bust.☂
☂BYE FOR REAL☂
☂See you at, like, 4:20 P.M blog-time☂
(Hello, Sapphire! It's nice to see you. And you too, Fabi! I often feel that any story can be improved with the addition of Panic! At The Disco mix tapes.)
(gwuyz gwuyz! i wrote a thing!
My head finds his chest, and he doesn’t push it away. I creep up closer into a more comfortable position, feeling the radiant heat of his body. He strokes my hair in swift, smooth motions. His breathing is even; calm and slow. However not the same thing could be said about his heartbeat. His heart is pounding against his ribs, as if it is trying to break free of invisible restraints. The edges of my mouth twitch up. His low, deep breaths attempted to equalize that of his rushing body. I listen carefully, noticing the dip of his shoulders with each release of breath, and the small extra rush of air that presses its way from his lips. He releases the air through his nose; I look up at his face, watching his nostrils flare. I small smile squeezes its way onto his lips, his beautiful, bow lips. I take his firm hand in my own slender one, blinking away from his dazzling green eyes to look at the dusking sky. My own blue eyes scan the night, and we lay in silence, watching the hours pass by. Nothing would separate us, not tonight. Tonight are differences beacon us, and our similarities define us.
I fall asleep on his chest, I don’t dream, I don’t need to; it has already come true. His gentle movement wakes me from my sleep. I don’t care, but he insists on apologizing over and over. I shove him slightly in the shoulder and he laughs. I scan him over for any sign of worry or panic across his face, and find a small hint in his eyes.
“How long?” My voice wavers; it’s not supposed to waver. He notices and takes my hand, squeezing it a little bit harder than it needs to be.
“I’d say hours, but id be lying. Seconds tops.” His voice wavers too, and I can see the pain in his eyes. We can’t keep running from this fate.
“What will they do when they come?”
“Something stupid and irrational” I smile. He has always been like that, making fun of the inevitable situations.
“We could keep going you know? Keep running.” I spoke softly, my voice almost a whisper.
“Even if we did we’d still be dead.” I groan a little, he was so stubborn.
“Yeah but,” Im cut off by the sight of the men. They are taller than I expected, wearing black suits. There pale, faceless figures stand side by side. One of them is holding a large, black object, but I can’t work it out before it’s too late. “WATCH OUT!”
The bang had already rung out by the time that my warning reached his ears. The bullet had already sunk into his chest, making him ooze the red blood. The smile that spread on my face vanishes, leaving only tears and sticky cheeks. I bend down over his body, feeling the blood coat my hand like a glove. His mouth parts open, but only because of the angle he lies at. He was dead as soon as the bullet hit him. Blood still pours out of the wound, but only the blood that has no were to go. His green eyes were fading into the soft mist of a forest.
You are gone. Dead. Adios Amigos. Allons-Y. Sionara. Good bye world. Greet me in the after life DEAD. That is all I can think about.
DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD I feel my lips form the word as I look up to try view the men. But they were no where to be found.
***i swear no one dies***)
☂☂suddenly facepalms☂☂
☂DAVE AND JADE☂
☂☂runs away☂☂
Bye Ember [hugs]
#ChaseForBook9
Bye Mith! *hugs*
Ember; I don't exactly read it in the normal sense... it's complicated :) Harley Davidson is Jade x Dave.
Fabi;...
Maybe...
*Looks guilty* It's quarter to four in the morning, so yes, probably.
(BYE MITH)
Bye Ember! *hugs*
Eld! *tackleglomps* Wow. That's amazing writing. I love the description at the start :D
(Bye, Mithria!)
(Gosh, now I feel I gotta write something to top that . . .)
( thx Lota :O)
(Anni! yesss write something :O YESSSS!!)
(Okay, I wrote this recently, but not actually TODAY. I hope it still counts. It's just a little one-off, but in this scenario, I was trapped in the parallel-world at the same time as Skulduggery, Val, and Para!Nefarian were going after the Scepter of the Ancients.)
(SHOW MEEEEE)
There was a room shrouded in darkness, and in that room, she waited.
Things were not at all well that day. She lay on a cold steel table, held down by straps on around her wrists and ankles. Every movement she made sent a fresh stab of pain through her pale body, and a few more drops of blood sliding down the table legs to the floor. It had begun to pool out; soon it would reach the instrument of her pain.
It stood on the wall, the mirror did. A massive sheet of cold, black stone. It reflected what it saw, and that day, that hour, it saw only darkness. Fingerprints dotted the crystal surface, each one signifying a a place where the Baron had touched it, each touch wringing a few more screams from the already dying Doctor Precocious.
But even through the pain, she smiled.
They will come back. She thought. Oh yes they will. Let them come. I’ll take them all on. I can do anything.
She laughed. She wondered if she was going mad.
I can do anything! Let them do their worst, they’ll never find him.
A flash of anger.
Curse you, Oscar. I hope you appreciate what I go through for you.
Then a flash of amusment.
I bet him and Neffy are having some sort of world domination party together, out there.
I hope they are.
Then there were footsteps, click-clacking on the cold stones of the outer corridor.
Let them come. I can withstand anything.
The bolt was drawn back, the door swung inward, and a dark figure stood in the doorway. Precocious couldn’t see his face; all she could see was the sillouette of his three-quarter length black coat. She noticed that his coat collar wasn’t turned up. A tragically missed opportunity for coolness.
He carried a box under his arm when he stepped across the threshhold, and approached her, looming over her like some dark god from her most twisted nightmare. Precocious saw him flip open the top of the box, and the smell of cinnamon hit her like a wave.
He took out a cookie. “Want a snickerdoodle?”
Precocious didn’t think twice. “Sure!”
“I bet you do.” Said the sillouette, swallowing it and sitting on a nearby swivelchair.
“You inhuman swine!” Precocious cried, struggling against her bonds. “I’ll do anything! Tell you anything you want to know!”
The figure reached up and yanked a lever, and the electric lights snapped on. He smiled slyly. “Have you been having fun in my absence?”
“Neffy, you son of a bitch!” Precocious groaned, flopping back onto the table. She was feeling dizzy from the loss of blood. “How did you get in here? And does it LOOK like I’m having fun? And where did you get those snickerdoodles?”
“Well, to start with, please stop calling me Neffy.” Nefarian said, propping his feet up on her torture table. Precocious rolled her eyes. The man was wearing $2000 shoes during the apocalypse. “I named myself Nefarian Serpine because it sounds scary. Not so smart-mouthed girls could call me Neffy. It’s embaressing, and frankly, it doesn’t do much for my image as an evil overlord. Capeesh?”
“Capeesh . . .” Precocious muttered weakly.
“Secondly, I knocked out the Redhoods with my damn defective hand.” Nefarian muttered, holding up his right hand. He was wearing a large, heavy-looking metal gauntlet, with iron rivets in all the most uncomfortable places. Blue energy crackled around his wrist. “I’m still mad about that, by the way. Third, you look like you’re being tortured. Some people think that’s fun. Like me.”
“You like being tortured, or being the torturer?” Precocious asked. If you like being tortured, I’d be happy to oblige . . .
“Depends on the torturer. Depends on the victim.” Nefarian winked. “And lastly . . .” He added, holding up the cookie box. “It’s amazing what people’s priorities become during the end times. I found a hermit living under a mountain, and all he does is bake, apparently.” He very slowly and deliberatly bit into a snickerdoodle. “These are sooooo good.”
“Are you trying to seductively eat cookies while I’m strapped, dying, to a table?” Precocious growled through gritted teeth.
“I dislike your suggestion of impropriety.” Nefarian looked shocked. “You know full well Harmony Davenport is the only girl for me. Particularly since she has to do whatever I say, or else get her molecules scattered throughout time and space.”
“Are you going to get me out of here?”
“I suppose I must.” Nefarian sighed, setting down the cookies. “My old comrade-in-arms, Baron Vengeous, will be back any minute.” He stood up and stretched. “I’ve managed to lose Skulduggery and Val, but I’ll be needed in the throne room before long. They’re after the Scepter.”
“I’m after getting out of here alive.”
“Done and done.” Nefarian smiled, peeling the straps off her limps with his gloved hand. “Anything for my favorite poker buddy.”
THE END
(ASDFGHJKLASDFGHJKL WHAT EVEN THAT IS AMAZING!!! :O ITS OMGG OMGG OMGG ERRR HOWWWWW)
I loved that Anni! It was funny and had a great flow :)
Dammit, now I have to write something, don't I?
Bbs, writing...
(Thank you, thank you . . .
*sweeps off top hat and bows with a flourish*)
(OMGG I HAVE AN IDEA! after saph we can all write the same small situation in our own way, and then see the difference in writting style :O maybe. IDK BUT IT WOULD BE COOL!)
(Oooh, yeah! Let's do that!)
(What writing prompt should we use, though . . .)
(Let's write something about the Dead Men.)
(it could be like a character drinking tea or eating something with another character or something. but we use the same characters... idk. it could be a boss battle or a race or anything really. even a smarta** argument)
(GRACIOUS AND DONEGAN ARGUING ON A MISSION!)
((Those were both really good...!
#ChaseForBook9
(CAN I WRITE ABOUT ME AND GRACIOUS AND DONEGAN I AM A MONSTER HUNTER AFTER ALL . . .)
(YOU ARE? OMGG SO AM I!!! WE COULD DO US WITH THEM!!!
but Gracious is mine *bares teeth*)
*falls in*
(I have dibs on Donegan, so s'all good.)
I suppose now would be as good of a time as any to make my appearance?
(ADRA ADRA ADRA READ MY STOOOOORY.)
(Oh, hey Mycroft!
I'll be gone for a minute or two as I write up my Donegan-Precocious-Gracious story, so talk amongst yourselves or sing.)
Ugh. Mondays. Okay?
(oh good *phew* Gracious is miiiiiinnnnnnneeeeee I swear :E We arezes in loveeeeeee yesss weeeee arrreeeeeee YYYYAAAAYYYYY)
(ILL JUST BE A TICK!)
☂What are you talking about? Mondays are awesome! Monday is the day to finally escape trauma!☂
Ugh going to fall asleep.... I had a nightmare involving Niccolò and Alastair....
I'll be mother.
S: And there is our whole childhood in a nutshell.
☂Sorry, just had to throw that in there☂
☂Why are all your dreams about roleplaying?☂
Not here- Mondays suck. Usually.
*rubs her eyes* Ugh
☂Why can't you have dreams about magical forests and pushing people down stairs like I do?!☂
Because its what i usually do before bed....I had a dream once I met NJ and Em...
☂The only dream I've ever had meeting a Bloglander was, funnily enough, meeting Adra.☂
I had a dream... It was really sad and there was a ton of screaming and stuffs
☂And Deathy. Or was it Emerald?☂
Oh Adra *explodes New Delhi*
((I can't currently write a Monster Hunters story, but if you want to see something I started a while ago, I can try to cut it into bite-size pieces))
((Also, I might disappear soon...))
#ChaseForBook9
☂Oh. That's not nice.☂
☂Actually, it wasn't Deathy or Em, it was someone I rarely talk to on here... WHO WAS IT☂
☂FABWEE NO☂
☂Btw, there's a post on TSE that shouldn't be there.☂
okay Fabi...
*hits Zaf* Down
I never said I was nice. Msd im in history
No no no!! ZAFFY NO BACK DOWN *explodes China Sorrows* ok I'm good :)
haahahahaahahaahahb sucks for you im at lunch haahahaaha <3
☂☂i dont understand how u guys talk while ur in class i mean srsly☂☂
☂By the way, whenever I do this weird thing and talk in text speak without punctuation or grammar it's stylistic, just so you know.☂
☂I PRIDE MYSELF IN TALKING WITH CAPITALISATION WHEN NECESSARY.☂
((I found it that way, posted, I mean, and left it 'cause it was an important question.))
((And okay.))
#ChaseForBook9
I already had lunch. I have 2 classes after this but meh then im free
☂☂backs away from Adra slowly☂☂
☂Oh. Okay.☂
*explodes Adra*
*laughs*
*hits Ember*
*she misses*
(Hello! I'm back! And I have a story!)
And I'm back as well! :)
☂ALSO THE EGYPTIANS WERE RIGHT!!!!!!!!!☂
☂Because you know how they thought about that ka and stuff?☂
☂Well, I've always had a theory about those near-death experiences.☂
☂So when you're going through that tunnel of light or whatever, it's a brain state. It's like a really nice shutdown process.☂
☂So if you preserve the brain really well, wouldn't you get to have this shutdown process for longer?☂
☂And technically (this is not relating to Egyptians) shouldn't you be able, in thousands of years, to stay in that shutdown process forever?☂
☂☂runs away from Adra☂☂
☂HI AGAIN, MITH!☂
(Okay, the premise of the story is, during Last Stand of the Dead Men, Donegan Bane, Gracious O'Callahan, and Doctor Precocious have been captured by General Mantis, and Donegan and Gracious are about to get the bejeezus tortured out of them.)
“We know you.” General Mantis said, its low voice gurgling up from its impossibly long throat. “You are the Monster Hunters, Bane and O’Callahan.”
Gracious paled. “Ah, yes, well you do know us, I guess.”
“Perhaps you’ve read some of our books?” Donegan asked hurriedly. He pointed awkwardly at Gracious. “Gracious O’Callahan,” He pointed back at himself. “And Donegan Bane.”
“Authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners,” Gracious nodded.
“Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable,” Donegan continued.
“Seriously Dude, Stop Monster Hunting,”
“And The Passions of Greta Gray, our first work of erotic fiction.” Donegan finished proudly.
One of the leather-clad torturesses behind Mantis squealed. “I’m a huge fan of your work!”
“Thank you.” Gracious smiled winningly. “I’m a huge fan of the way you wear that leather.”
The torturess giggled and turned bright pink under her mask. Donegan would’ve facepalmed if his arms hadn’t been duct taped to his sides. “Can I have a picture with you?” She asked.
Donegan sighed. “As long as it’s not with that scary necromancer’s death camera.” He nodded at Fretting, who looked a bit put out.
“Yay!” The torturess squealed, practically skipping over to stand between them. He took a selfie with her iPhone, with Donegan and Bane leaning next to her and grinning, their arms still in duct tape. Gracious made an awkward peace sign with his free hand.
*laughs*
“Excuse me, Sadistica,” Mantis grumbled. “I’m trying to conduct a torture session here.”
“What a crazy random happenstance!” Donegan exclaimed, thinking quickly. “Sadistica happens to be the name of our buxom femme fatale in The Passions of Rodney Black, the sequel to our first work of erotic fiction!”
Sadistica gasped and almost dropped her phone. “Really?”
“Stop this!” Mantis yelled. “Your writerly wiles have no power here!”
Gracious looked at Donegan eagerly. “Hear that? We have wiles!”
Donegan looked surprised. “I didn’t know writerly wiles was a thing.”
“Apparently, we’ve got it.”
“Our work here is done!” Donegan and Gracious tried to brofist, but their arms were strapped down, so, sadly, the action was left incomplete.
“So,” Gracious said, addressing Mantis. “if you don’t mind, we’d really prefer it if you let us go.”
“We have so many bestsellers locked up inside us.” Donegan said. “If you don’t let us go, they’ll never be published . . .”
Sadistica whimpered.
“Even though we can’t write.” Gracious added.
“Shhh, don’t tell them that.” Donegan whispered loudly. “It’s a secret.”
“You certainly can write . . .” Sadistica said seductively.
Gracious bowed his head. “It’s all from experience, my dear.” He said, to which Sadistica giggled again.
“You told me it was extensive internet research!” Donegan exclaimed.
Now it was Gracious’s turn to blush. His eyes darted to Sadistica. “Um, yes . . . it was . . .”
“Is that why you cleared your search history ever other day?”
“Enough!” Mantis roared. “Less talk, more torture!”
The door banged open and two more leather-clad brutes stormed in, dragging a young woman with them, her arms duct-taped to her sides. She had long brown hair, tied back in a braid, and was dressed in a long white lab coat. “If you scratch my white-wall tires,” She was ranting. “I’ll scratch you so bad your face will be one enormous scar . . .”
“Doctor!” Donegan beamed, awkwardly trying to wave. “Come sit with us!”
“Were you caught misbehaving outside the camp, too?” Gracious asked eagerly.
“Misbehaving in the sense that I was trying to prevent a zombie apocalypse? Then yes.” Doctor Precocious sneered. “A little more productive than what you were doing, which, if I remember correctly, was playing hacky-sack with a zombie’s bladder?”
“It adds tension to the game.” Gracious pointed out.
“It does.” Donegan agreed. “Hit it the wrong way and SPLAT.”
“You get soaked in zombie piss.” Gracious added helpfully.
“Yes, I deduced that on my own.” Precocious rolled her eyes.
Mantis looked from Precocious, who looked like she’d been violently thrown through a wood-chipper, to Gracious and Donegan, who were practically bouncing up and down with excitement from seeing her. “Have we lost ALL of our professionalism!?” He roared.
“You never had it, Mantis.” Precocious sighed.
“And that’s your problem.” Donegan said coolly.
“And your other one,” Precocious continued. is that you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting the third monster hunter.”
“Don’t short-change yourself.” Donegan said pointedly. “Obviously, he’s the FOURTH monster hunter now.”
And with a violent CRACK, an Australian with ridiculous hair appeared in the room, grabbed Precocious’s hair, Gracious’s hand, and Donegan’s shirt collar, and teleported the heck out of there.
THE END
Omg Mantis....Im an Elder i dont have to fear it. Yet. I liked it, though Nye is my favourite.
☂This is cool!☂
I walked along the stone path, the boys were arguing... again. They were behind me of coarse, I wouldnt dare let them lead. Wed be going around in circles for hours and hours and, hell we wouldnt move.
"What now!" I call behind me, my voice echoes of the stone walls that block the light from reaching us.
"Donegans saying my hat looks stupid!" I turn around, clicking a flame into my hand and scanning them over. We had stopped by a large city the other day, and managed to find a store full of the nerdiest things possible. Gracious and I had run around like insane mad-men, while Donegan, who was too embarassed to follow, waited in the cafe, almost 3 blocks away.
O'Callahan had found an interesting hat while he was there. Commonly known as the 'fez'. It was beautiful at its best, and outlined his features. He was slightly worried it would get dirty, but i persuaded him to buy it with a whole heart.
He lost the god damn fez. So now he was wearing a bright pink unicorn hat. Not that there is anything wrong with unicorns of coarse, but it wasnt quite... his style.
"The hat looks fine child."
"No it doesn't, it makes him look like a ballet dancer." I shoot Bane a look, telling him to back down, but then take the thought into perspective and a grin spreads across my face before I can stop it.
"He does a bit doesnt he?" I start to giggle, almost managing to fall to the floor in hysterics.
"Wha- no i don't! I'm too tough." He bares his muscle, and I look at my own weak arms, he did have muscle, but it wouldnt change the fact.
"Your a musclcular ballet dancer." I say with a nod.
Donegan by this point seemed to have gone quite, maybe he smelt defeat, maybe he didnt want to push Gracious too much.
"Yes, I a=have muscle."
"Yes you do sweetie."
"Did you just call me /sweetie/?"
I paused, pondering for a moment. "Did I? I didnt notice."
"I think you did." Bane pipped in and I shot him a glance, well i was ment to shoot him a glance, instead i shot him the fireball.
I hope he doged, I didn't have time to check. O'Callahan and I were racing out of the cave.
(yes ok its not that great, but its 11:30pm.. give me a bit of lead way)
Hi everyone who came on! *hugs*
Sorry Anni and Eld, my internet cut out. Here's the thing I wrote. I've been meaning to write it for a while, but it's half past four in the morning, I've been up all night and so it's not very good :/ Nevermind.
She was such a small girl.
She stood on the pavement looking up at the house, a little blur of brown hair, dark blue coat and thoughtful pale eyes. She had a single bag in one hand- everything she’d ever owned in the world- that she had carried for three days.
Now, finally, the girl had arrived and just two more steps were all she needed to reach out to knock with one pale hand. But her feet were firmly stuck to the pavement as thoughts raced around her eight-year old head.
This house was someone’s home. That ‘someone’ was a family of five, a family that might be hers, a house that could be /her/ home.
The girl had never had a home.
Well, maybe she had, once, but the earliest thing she remembered was waking up in Alex’s house two years ago with a fever that had stolen her mind and threatened to kill her. It had come close, teetering on the edge, but she wasn’t going to die because of a mere fever. Not her!
The house was three stories high: not very high, compared to others on the street, but it took up all her vision.
Her heart thudded in her chest, so loud she was sure someone would come running. People behind that door were waiting for a girl, for her!
She had to be brave, and she had to open that door.
The small blur of blue and brown took the last two steps and knocked quietly on the rough wooden surface. Maybe no-one would-
It swung open to life, heat, the sound of chatter and laughter. It was as if standing in the street had frozen her, and now she was thawing. Her heart was still beating hard, but in hope and joy instead of fear.
A girl just like her stood in the doorway. Maybe a bit younger. Her dress was red and pretty, floating around the knees and swaying as friendly blue eyes took in the huddle on her doorstep.
“Who are you?” the child in red asked curiously.
The girl tilted her head up, swallowing her fear and hope against hope that she could find a home. She didn’t know, not then, that this girl and her family would someday be her whole world. This was her second start.
“Saph,” she replied in a quiet, placid voice. “Sapphire Iota.”
(Ember, I decided not to watch the Fall today... sorry)
☂Btw, Adra, Mycroft shot Moriarty in the leg while you were gone :D☂
I will get last
Ooh, I have an idea for Gracious and Donegan! *Disappears to quickly write a drabble about them*
EXPLOSIVE TREES
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