My sister just sent me this video of my niece Becca getting VERY upset because her dad keeps getting the snorting from Peppa Pig wrong...
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About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
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«Oldest ‹Older 4201 – 4400 of 4965 Newer› Newest»Em he's at the Sanctuary, it is in his best interest to wait, ok? When they release him I'll take you to him, Alexis is with him.
*sighs irritably* What do you want, Jayla?
#ChaseForBook9
*holds her arms out and skates, shutting her eyes and doing a tight spin before letting go, going backwards*
Jayla: to annoy you. *pokes* To kill Zaf *grins*
Okay *takes a deep breath* Okay...
*She walks towards her house as Chase tries to take hold of her hand. She pulls back*
Don't you dare try and fucking touch me!
*She carries on walking as Chase stands there for a few moments with his gaze on the ground before following her*
*Frowns, and walks into a portal*
*Comes out again, as a rather bland-looking human*
Now, are you happy, you pathetic, psychopathic, childish EXCUSE for a human being?
I suppose I shall consume less energy in this form, at least...
*sighs* Chemerald....I'd never wanna be a werewolf
Jayla: ooh! *pokes Sharky* *kicks in balls*
Okay... So I went to this dance for my brother's school last night. Actually, I used to attend there so they all know me. So yeah I got dolled up and looked sexy as hell woohoo yeah and we went. But this wasn't some regular dance. It is something called "Parent Prom" that that school does annually, and it is when you take your parent to basically dance. But it's actually the parents talking the whole time while the kids dance. But I digress.
I guess my mom just took me because she didn't want me to be sad and alone. Now hat I think back I think it would have been better
Anyway, we get there at 6:30 and we have dinner for an hour or so and they move all the food away and the dance floor opens. I didn't want to dance. It made me too sad. Like, what was the point of going to Parent Prom if my dad wasn't there? What good was that? So I sat at a table and talked to you guys. Ugh it was hell when they kept playing slow dance songs. I nearly stabbed myself with a fork.
Or a spoon.
Whichever.
But yeah it was a really low point. Most of the girls there I don't particularly liked, and only about five people were my actual friends. But when I talked to them they seemed... Not meaner, but they would tease in that friendly way that's usually cool but I didn't want to. So I sat there for the majority of the night. Even when my mom told me to dance- when some girls came over and asked, I said I was too tired, but really I just wanted to cry. I almost am now so uh... Yeah I should wrap this up.
Long story short, I am not attending Parent Proms or Father-Daughter dances anymore.
So please, don't hug me or I will shoot you. I have just been dying to write that out
*continues to skate?*
Jayla: i think not
Oh gods, I made it awkward didn't I?
Heh.. Oops.
*skates faster in spins with her imaginary partner* ahhhhhh
((Alright then, I suppose I shall simply leave well enough alone- that seems to be what you're esentially requesting that we do.))
*shifts into a wolf and curls up under a tree, silently watching the others*
#ChaseForBook9
Ms. Adrasdos, you have my sympathies...
*goes by Niccolò* May I sit with you?
((Yah))
*spins faster and faster again, until letting go, zooming ahead* *moves in wide, flowing arcs with jumps and flips and turns*
Now then...
*taps his foot while staring Ms. Jayla in the eyes*
Leave.
Jayla: *punches in face*
*makes no move to acknowledge Zafira or push her away* *closes eyes and takes a deep breath*
#ChaseForBook9
*skates over to the side of the frozen lake and collapses into the snow, beginning to take off her skates*
*glances around for her shoes*
..
Did they get buried by snow?
no
*searches frantically*
*sits beside Niccolò and strokes his back gently* Hey you really ought to talk you seem down.
Jayla, you perplex me greatly. Why do you settle for simply being annoying, when you could be a great villain? Your motives appear nonexistent. Why bother for mere annoyance when you could make their lives miserable? No one will ever respect you.
#ChaseForBook9
*puts her skates back on, lacing them up and uses the tree to help herself to her feet, carefully begins to walk, doing her best to keep her balance*
(I'm glad you got it out sweets and I hope you feel better after it)
*The doctor explains to Alexis*
Doctor: You put yourself in a lot of danger last time. We're trying to get his blood thirst down so we can start the detox. The wrist and ankle bonds must be kept on Alexis. We're only looking out for your safety as well as Lorcan's.
*The doctor walks out of the room*
*Lorcan begins to stir and groan as he starts to wake up*
Jayla: *backs away* Hey! *shakes head* boring
((Ya mon))
*walks carefully and slowly*
Madame, I have warned you twice now.
This is the last time I shall say it.
Leave.
Alexis: *listens and shakes head* Last time I ever listened to you people? Never. Hey Lorcan!
Jayla: No. I shall not leave
*steps on something soft and it shouts and she shrieks back, jumping away and losing her balance*
*falls next to a random person*
*screams again and begins somersaulting, forgetting about the walking thing*
*ends up somersaulting all the way to the bar and hits her head on the bottom step*
*lays there ,dazed and terribly confused*
*Lorcan opens his eyes and blinks as he goes to stretch but realises he can't*
Lorcan: Oh hell...
Alexis: I know...stupid doctors yelled at me. They can't make me leave as they were given orders to have me here by my mother.
((why is everyone suddenly gone...?))
*sits up, undoing her shoes and taking out a few pins from her hair and picking the lock on the bar and slipping in, getting a pair of shoes there*
((Ikr! Niccolò is a wolf if he doesn't watch out Zaffy gonna use him as a warm pillow))
*breathes out* Jesus, it's cold in here* *wanders around to find a blanket*
*Lorcan lies his head back down on the pillow*
Lorcan: I've really fucked up this time haven't I Lexi?
*finds a rather large blanket and gets herself a bottle of water before walking outside again, locking the door*
*sits down on the steps and curiously watches the battle*
Alexis: *sits beside* Never. Not in my eyes.
Jayla: You're boring *laughs and sends shadows at Sharky's hands like knives* I much prefer killing Zafira and leaving, I was hired for the task, her wolf isn't even useful.
*sips water quietly*
Olivia: Aunt Adra! Why is Aunt Jayla fighting and why is my mother sitting with a dog?
*in Zafira's mind* You wouldn't want to hear it. Talking about it would do me no good, either. Although I am grateful for the offer.
((My apologies for my disappearance. Aretha was required to eat dinner.))
#ChaseForBook9
*shrugs*
*feels her lungs burn for a second before she dissolves into a fit of coughs*
*a near-constant screeching suddenly fills the air, and several gateways tear open, scattered frequently around the area*
*tips his hat, and hops into one such gateway*
*Lorcan laughs slightly*
Lorcan: I almost killed you Lexi. I almost killed myself. I've put so many of you in danger. Let's face facts, I'm a fuck up.
(Badababada...))
((Adra, although I am currently unable to interact with you in the roleplay, I'd like to acknowledge you here.))
#ChaseForBook9
*covers her ears at that ungodly sound*
*runs in and trips over a unicorn*
Hi!
I understand Niccolò. Well I'll always talk. *curls up to him* Mmm warm...*shivers*
Jayla: eerrs....
Alexis: Lorcan! I know but it doesn't change my feelings for you.
((Thanks))
((What's happening in RP?))
Lorcan: Maybe it's better for you Lexi... in case I kill you. I don't want you in love with your murderer...
Alexis: Lorcan, you won't. Stop saying that! You can't think it...
((Ooh, dramatic breakup. :P))
Lorcan: What am I meant to do Lexi? Just sit here in denial, like there isn't some murderous beast inside of me?
I'm bound up like a mental patient cause of what I am. Cause of what I did.
I killed someone Lexi...
*drops down out of a gateway behind Jayla, slowly adjusting his grip on the rapier*
((Lorcan is a new (he was turned recently) werewolf, and is dating Alexis, although he now claims to be a danger to her and himself.
Adra went skating, then walked off into the snow somewhere, and she has fallen ill of the same thing that struck her months ago.
I am merely lying beneath a tree, and Zafira has taken it upon herself to use me as some sort of pillow or source of warmth.
Sir is attempting to remove Jayla from the premises, and Jayla is refusing and attempting to irritate him.))
#ChaseForBook9
*is wandering around the Sanctuary looking for the Grand Mage, as I have something to report*
*hears noises from the Medical Bay*
((Yeah I'm not sure, Kessie))
*slowly gets to her feet and goes for a walk*
((Thank you, Niccoló.))
Alexis: Lorcan, you're a wolf. You can do this but if you have no hope you'll fall.
Jayla: *disappears and appears behind Sir* Fish. *aims punch to the back of his neck*
((You are most welcome, Kestrel.))
#ChaseForBook9
*turns toward Medical Bay((that is where Lorcan and Alexis are, yes?)) and opens door*
*sees Lorcan and Alexis and freezes*
((I'm cold, and I won't leave your side xD))
*grins and pets* You know I'm surprised I'm getting away with this, I thought you'd nip me for petting you. And Niccolò you want something to do, I dare you to try to scare me. And no it's not required you never have to do snything.
*Lorcan sees the door opening and turns his head to face the door as tears roll down his face*
Oh, um...
*looks hurriedly at Alexis* You, ah, don't happen to know where your mum is, do you?
*avoids looking at Lorcan*
Alexis: Hi Kessie *gently puts hand around his.8
*ends up finding herself along a cliffside and stands there for a second, then sits*
((Hello Death, if you are still here. I've just realized I vanished just as you appeared.))
*in Zafira's mind* No.
*buries nose in the snow*
#ChaseForBook9
[Is technically done with homework-ish stuff, but isn't sure if I should be here]
[Is tempted to scrap the whole running from the Sanctuary plotline, except that Snow's sort of part of it so I don't want to do that without asking her.]
#ChaseForBook9
*(Meant to be turned his head to face the wall)*
*Lorcan wishes he could turn on his side but he can't. He tried his best to hide his tears*
((I thought that plotline had great potential, Moss, although ultimately the decision belongs to you and Snow.))
#ChaseForBook9
((Hi Fabi!))
*stands awkwardly in doorway, waiting for response*
*pretends not to notice Lorcan*
Okay *he can feel me shiver* No I'm staying I feel safe around you. I could shift into a cat if you like.
Alexis: *sighs* Lorcan...
*throws himself to the side, and into a gateway*
*his voice then resonates out of several gateways, barely audible over the screaming*
Ms...
Jayla, was it? I admit some puzzlement as to the nature of your powers. Though I suppose I shall figure it out, eventually.
((Fabi, it actually looked like it would fun...:3*
((Okay Moss... :/))
*pulls her knees up to her and pulls her coat tighter around herself*
((Yo, is Sir still here?)
((Eheh nevermind))
((Alexis, would mind answering the question so I can leave you and Lorcan in peace?))
*pushes nose deeper into the snow and closes eyes*
#ChaseForBook9
Jayla: true name.
Lorcan: What, Lexi?
I don't like people seeing me like this. This shows exactly what I am...
*backs out of doorway*
*closes door*
Niccolò....you're worrying me. You really are. I don't want to see you upset *strokes gently again* Show me. You need not speak it maybe you can show me.
Alexis: With Niccolò, she fancies him.
(([Shrugs] I'm getting sort of bored of it, tbh. I guess it's still going on for now, though. I'm just out of new ideas for it. Maybe Snow has something...))
#ChaseForBook9
((Kessie I don't know why, but that was hysterical))
*calmly sips some water and enjoys the moonlight*
*pauses*
*debates to sit on her own, or go find someone to sit with*
Alexis: I'm sorry. I am.
((okay, well- the best of luck, Moss? And I know you'll do the right thing))
((Thanks...Although I don't know where Niccoló is))
*exits Sanctuary and frowns, pulling out phone*
*dials Zaf's number*
((Adra, um, thanks...I suppose?))
((Nor does Alexis so she figured it'd help))
*glances at phone* Whaaaat?! *picks up* Hello?
*pulls ears back against head and takes a lick of the snow before burying nose in it again*
#ChaseForBook9
Grand Mage? This is Administrator LeStarre.
((I don't actually have anything planned...))
Harrumph. True names.
Well then...
*opens a huge amount of gateways in Jayla's immediate vicinity, resulting in an ungodly level of noise*
*sighs, deciding that she's being an idiot and goes back in search of someone to sit with*
*Lorcan sniffs his nose after his tears*
Lorcan: Damn it!!! *He thrashes in the arm binds* I can't even wipe my own fucking nose...
*He grits his teeth as the tears start brimming again*
*In Niccolò's mind* Niccolò you know I care...I swear I won't utter a word to anyone I hate seeing you upset...
*gets up, shakes the snow off of coat, and trots off deeper into the forest*
#ChaseForBook9
Jayla: Ok...? *floats above* You bore me
Alexis: *undoes the straps* Look I'll undo them I can hear when they'll come and I'll do them when I know the doctors come ok?
My, if you are so bored, perhaps you should LEAVE?
Grand Mage, we have recently apprehended two prisoners who claim to belong to an anarchist group. They want to overthrow the Sanctuary. I need permission to go after them.
*gives up and pulls out her phone, not before coughing into her sleeve*
*puts it away and sits in a clearing, tracing symbols in the snow*
*sighs irritably and follows him* Croatoan! Seriously? Ugh..what did I do wrong?! Come back I'll shut up and you can lay there moping. You want to help us but decline help when you're hurt. Don't you turn your back on me either. I don't...*screams in fristration and kicks a rock*
((I think this is the first time I've ever seen you get in a fight, Sir.))
*to Kessie* Ahem you don't need permission, for for it
Jayla: okay *vanishes and appears beside the wolf* Hello puppy *wraps arms around Niccolò*
((Zaf, you realise Kes is hearing every word of this?))
*Lorcan covers his face with his hands and just sobs*
Lorcan: Why won't anyone just let me die? For god's sake...
*ends up kicking through the symbols and making a snowman*
Thank you. Also, ah, I hate to inconvenience you with this, but I appear to be out of serum. Do you know where I can acquire some more?
((Msd, low battery.))
Alexis: Lorcan because you have your whole life! Look at everyone! You have life.
*scowls, and all the gateways screech shut*
That bally woman...
The doctors have some, they know so just ask say I give permission.
((Hey, Sir, she did at least do what you asked...:P))
((I've essentially buried myself in the snow- I doubt she would be able to grab me in such a way without digging through some of it first.))
#ChaseForBook9
*pats down the sides of the snowman and the final job looks pretty shoddy*
*tilts her head to one side*
Hmm...
*tilts her head to the other*
Hmmmm
*picks up a leaf and puts it in the middle of it's head*
hmm..
*coughs*Thank you, Grand Mage.
*hangs up*
Lorcan: No I thought I had a life Lexi, as a werewolf hunter. I trained for it since I was a child.
And then suddenly all of that is taken away from me and I'm tossed into somewhere new, given all this freedom when I haven't a clue what to do.
How is that fair on me? Just to assume that I would adjust. I can't adjust to this...
((Eh? We'll I'll uhm...figure this out...problem solving skills))
Jayla: *melts snow with flame and grabs Croatoan's tail* Aww you're a puppy!
Get away from him!
Jayla: I think not, he means a lot to you, *pushes air holding Zaf in a small box* Pity. I need to kill you but maybe I'll fight him. Worthless he can't handle his own mental state.
*bites deep into Jayla's wrist so she'll let go, then teleports away*
#ChaseForBook9
*makes a smaller snowman next to the bigger one* *observes them both* Hmm
*re-enters Sanctuary*
*finds one of the Doctor's offices*
*knocks*
Alexis: I can't help...*buries face in hands* I can't...I can't...I lost my father my mother isn't there usually I lose the people I care about! Niccolò was like a father to me he taught me to use a knife! Even he's distanced himself from me
*gives them each a purple-carrot nose and buckeyes*
*frowns* *sniffs, feeling tears emerge and she waves her hand, the ground shaking until the two fall apart*
*keeps walking away*
Doctor: *opens door* Hello, Administrator! What can I do for you?
Kes: I need more serum. The Grand Mage said you would have some.
Jayla: *hisses* I know how to kill you. *enters Zaf's mind and screws around making her have no idea whrre she is* Good luck *vanishes blood dripping where she stood*
W-where...*is totally lost*
*hums a bit as she walks, a pattern in her step similar to a waltz*
((Oi...I guess Ari or Niccolò I dunno if you're here but...anyhow....that chapter Justy was doing I guess I should just post it? I have it saved on my notes))
((Hm... Give me a moment.))
#ChaseForBook9
*makes her way back to the heart of Blogland where the people are*
Doctor: ...Right. Give me a minute. *enters office*
*re-emerges with serum* Here.
Kes:Thank you. *takes serum and walks away*
((K! I replied back a while ago then like you got busy so I just saved it on my notes so I could easily post it))
*calls Adra*
*glances at her phone* *breathes a long, drawn out sigh*
*picks up, putting on her best voice* Yo, Grand Mage Dark, whatchu want
*calls Zaf*
#ChaseForBook9
*Lorcan growls slightly*
Lorcan: I'm not some replacement for Niccolo! Whatever the fuck is your fascination with that man, I'll never know...
(No offence to you Niccolo and Zaf this is Lorcan going through werewolf motions, don't take offensive please. Love ya girl x)
((*laughs* What are you Grand Mage of?))
Hello, Adra. This is Kes from the American Sanctuary. I was wondering if you would mind helping me with something.
Oh dear... What's up?
((Don't worry, he's not offended. :) ))
#ChaseForBook9
I've been hearing rumours about an Anarchist group who wants to try to overthrow the Sanctuary, and I'm going after them. But ever since this vampire thing, I've found it wise not to go after people alone, so I was wondering if you would like to accompany me.
*oicks up phone* Ari....whats up?
Alexis: you know...*glares* My mother likes him not me he's my...brother
((India))
I.... I don't know, Kessie..
*into phone* I know Niccolò was with you for a bit- do you have any idea where he is now? He's sort of scaring me...
#ChaseForBook9
I still find the idea of mirrors rather odd...
#ChaseForBook9
*Lorcan's growls subside when suddenly his back arches and he winces in pain*
*to Ari* Well he was in the snow upset and I tol him he could talk to me whenever and he went into the woods I followed I think he may be somewhere he'd want peace but he's scaring me too, you have the link though the names aren't breaking through?
Alexis: Lorcan. Calm down.
*walks around a bit*
*His back arches more that he's almost bent backwards*
Lorcan: Oh... I'm... whats....
Alexis: are you turning?!
Right...
*tucks her phone away and keeps walking*
If there is anyone still on, I am here, but I don't know for how long.
((Is Sir still here?))
((I think Sir has departed.))
*into phone* No, I still have the link, but... Well, he doesn't want me to know where he is, clearly. He closed his eyes and ran through some snow, so he doesn't even know where he is. Just somewhere with trees and snow, and the forest is big. And I know he can regulate his body temperature, but he's not doing it... I'm afraid he'll end up with hypothermia or something...
#ChaseForBook9
*He tries to shake his head but only gets twitches. His back stops arching but he tenses up like he had been electrocuted*
Annika! *sneakyelderassassintacklehugs* Hi!
#ChaseForBook9
*sits on park bench*
*sips tea*
*chews pop tart*
*straightens lab coat*
*juggles flaming chainsaws*
*toys with a leaf blowing by*
*whistles an aimless tune*
((Hi Annika))
#ChaseForBook9
*gets tacklehugged*
Ow!
Hi!
((Ah...
hey Anni!))
(Hello, Adra, Fabi, Arethia, Melody, and Zafira!)
... I don't know why my thing deleted.
*runs up to Ari (if she's around) and hugs* YO
*hugs back* Adra! Hi! *hugs tighter* It feels like it's been ages!
#ChaseForBook9
(*Aretha)
(*phew* I'm glad I missed that! And only by one post, too.)
(Hey, Aretha, your profile picture . . . is that Castiel?)
*sells ded rights to the highest bidder*
#ChaseForBook9
((Yes, actually, it is! Well, technically, it's me dressed as Castiel at NYCC. And I'm dead! Or Cas is dead! Whichever is more heartbreaking!))
#ChaseForBook9
Yeah I know! *hugs* I missed you hun
(*sigh*
I'll buy the ded.)
((Is trying not to write cryptic and sad poetry and focus on TSE))
((Is failing))
#ChaseForBook9
I, Doctor Precocious, hereby dedicate this page to Walmart check-out people who don't judge you when you buy trading cards, Twix, and a bottle of scented shaving cream.
((Msd bitch mother giving me attitude because my English teacher is a fucking bitch))
Ari....he may...well I can track him somewhat. I know I can.
((*hugs Moss*))
I've missed you, too... I think I wasn't ready to be here again, but now I am.
#ChaseforBook9
((EHEH Moss that's a cool pic 0.0
Oh my gods my new friends just sent out an email talking about how much gratitude we feel for one another and how much happiness that we get from that gratitude and I love my friends jesus sobbing))
*stand up*
*stretches*
*strolls down the street in search of adventure*
Hollah hear hear..
*clears her throat with a bit of difficulty and eats some snow to get it down*
Blegh,.
Ari, no matter how long we wait, you will always be loved here
When you look in the mirror, you don't see yourself the way your friends see you.
#ChaseForBook9
*removes lab coat*
*puts on sequinned tuxedo jacket*
Now I'm ready for anything.
Yes you are, Anni!
525,600 minutes
*stumbles across a little girl with a red balloon*
Oh, hello there! What's your name?
Girl: . . . Amelia Duplicacious.
A sorceress, then? My name is Doctor. What are you doing out here all by yourself?
Girl: *whispers* Murdering some motherf***ers.
*hurriedly keeps walking*
((How do you make up these names. What. I LOVE YOU))
*sees sign for free waffles*
Well, that sounds promising!
*follows large colored arrows*
*hums 'A Little Priest' as she strolls*
*stumbles across mysterious-looking waffle house*
I gotta rant feel free to ignore me
So my mother complains i get 76 in English because my damned teacher is hating on me and in English she has loopholes. So I get cursed for that and I have an 81 in math which is high for me and our student teacher sucked in Science so our teacher is helping us by dropping a grade rcause the things he taught idnt coincide test wisd))
And Spanish my first test was a little off because I didn't know how she tested us genrrally but its common but I do well otherwise so like why is she hating on me?
*knocks on door*
Candygram!
*no reply*
Aw, man! Here I was, all set for some free waffles, and there's nobody home.
*door opens slowly and dramatically*
Transylvanian Accent: Enter freely, and of your own will, Doctor Precarious.
How did you almost know my name!?
Transylvanian Accent: I have a passing knowledge of many things.
*enters waffle house*
*into phone* It's ok Zaf- I'll find him. Thank you, though. *hangs up*
*sighs* Alright, I'm going to go find Niccolò. He's buried himself in snow somewhere... *trudges off into the forest*
#ChaseForBook9
((Zaf, if you're struggling in your classes- you should perhaps see a tutor or see them after class?))
*nods*
*coughs into a hankerchief and tucks it away*
Wait! *runs after*
((hugs Ari back))
((Um... I think I'm going to go... I don't really have anything to contribute at present.))
#ChaseForBook9
Vampire: Please, come in.
----The house is built like a log cabin, and the Canadian flag is hung on the wall. The rug looks like a pancake, and the tables and chairs look like waffles. Precocious's feet stick a little to the floor with every step.----
Vampire: Please. Sit down. Have some waffles with me. With syrup, yes, yes, delicious syrup . . .
*licks lips*
I LIVE for maple syrup. Ironic, since I am dead.
So . . . you're a Canadian vampire? One of those syrup-suckers?
Vampire: Indeed. Now come, eat waffles with me.
*licks lips*
((okay, Moss *hugs*))
*sits down at table*
*there are three golden rays on the table, covered with lids*
Vampire: Now, Doctor Precarious, you must choose your waffles.
*uncovers one plate*
Plain waffles show that you are the *licks lips* traditional, old-fashioned type.
*uncovers two plate*
Chocolate-chip shows you are fun-loving and arrogant.
*uncovers three plate*
Blueberry shows that you are compassionate and kind, with a fiery streak.
What waffle are you, Doctor Precarious?
What waffle are you?
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