Every year, my family tell me they don't know WHAT they're going to get me, and every year we have a great big laugh about it. But every year I think ah, THIS is the year. This is the year when they DO know what to get me, but they're all PRETENDING they don't. They're all conspiring with each other, pooling their money and resources, going that extra mile to get me the thing that will make me happy, whatever it may be. It's all a surprise, I think to myself. It's all a wonderful surprise and on Christmas Day when I've handed them their really really expensive gifts and I'm standing to one side while they ooh and ahh and laugh and hug, they're suddenly going to turn around and say Derek, surprise! We have what you've always wanted!
And then they show me a parcel beneath the tree and I fall to my knees, and with trembling hands I slowly tear the paper and lo... the most perfect present ever in the history of the world. And I am happy.
This year my mother got me a dart board.
She got me a dart board because, obviously, she knows how much I secretly love darts. She has cleverly read between the lines during each of our many conversations throughout the year- conversations in which darts have not been mentioned one single time- and she figured out that what I really wanted for Christmas, the thing that will finally make my life complete, is a great big dart board.
Mother, I think it is safe to say you have excelled yourself this year. Well done.
My brother and sisters, meanwhile, all got together and arranged an aircraft simulation lesson- where you sit in a cockpit thingy and take off and land a plane without actually, you know, being IN a plane. Well, they ALMOST did that. What they ACTUALLY did was hand me a piece of paper with all this written down. They got me a SUGGESTION for Christmas.
Now, to you, this mightn't sound that bad. You might be thinking hey, they didn't know if Derek would be interested in this, so they suggested it, and if he seemed agreeable, they'd go off and book it. And this, dear Minion, would a reasonable thing for you to think.
Unless you remember a few years ago where my sisters told me that what they were going to do for me that Christmas was renovate my bathroom. Oh wow, said I. A bathroom renovation, just what I've always wanted. A bathroom renovation as done by two pregnant women with no prior history of bathroom renovations, nor indeed any relevant knowledge of said undertaking. I just couldn't get any luckier.
And if you remember that, you may also remember that they never actually got around to doing it.
And you may also remember that last year, in some feeble attempt to make up for it, they got me a bath mat and towel. For Christmas. Between the two of them.
It wasn't all terrible disappointment and quiet tears when no one was looking, because today was also the day of Doctor Who and The Snowmen!
I'm not entirely sure who the villain was or what the logic was, and I thought Richard E Grant could have been used SO much better, but it was fast and funny and Matt Smith is great and Jenna Louise Coleman is... is...
Jenna Louise Coleman is just so PRETTY.
I know, I know, I have a history with Amy Pond. We were close. We were even in love, for a while. But times change. People change. They move on. I've moved on. I love Amy, I do, and she will always have a special place in my heart...
But Jenna Louise Coleman is just so PRETTY.
I... I think I love Jenna Louise Coleman. I think THAT is what I got for Christmas.
God (or whatever random deity you might acknowledge) bless us, every one.
Posts
4,931 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3001 – 3200 of 4931 Newer› Newest»Eden, whenever he's on I make an attempt to talk formally. We've had formal conversations about how being formal is an art which is difficult to achieve.
Ha.
He actually sounds a bit like Mycroft XD
Sir Reingington fights?
Verbally.
Apparently so.
Why are you still not alive?
I'm fairly certain I got into a Blogfight with him once.
However, it may have been someone throwing both him and I into your volcano.
Volcano?
*pause*
This is Ember Silver, reporting live from the volcano.
*runs in*
Yes nix has his own volcano,
Courtesy of being a ruthless mass murderer.
Hey Zaf!
Tell me, why are you running?
Hi Grand Mage!
Hiya
And running is fun
Hey Zaf.
Running is fun unless you're running AWAY from someone-or something...
I'm dead because I feel like it, for now
I gor Taylor! Damn wish Derek was on!
Can dead people feel anything?
They can feel hurt Kes!
*runs of crying*
Well now we know that
No Nix! Don't go!
*clutches chest dramatically*
I never meant to cause you pain!
(Incidentally, can a pile of ashes run?)
That's kind of weird.
Your nerves are dead but you still have feelings that feel hurt.
Look at Scapegrace or Skully
*nods*
I don't think so, but my spirit sure can run.
Grand Mage, neither Skul nor Scapegrace were a pile of ashes.
I still have a soul Eden!
In fact, that's all I have. That and ash
May the record state that technically, you also have several intangible concepts such as a name and personality.
*goes off to find soulcatcher*
Not for long, you don't!
*cackles evilly*
Sir! *tacklehugs*
I mean, *clears throat*, it has been some time since we last encountered each other. How have you fared throughout this time?
faired*
I am as well as to be expected. But don't mind me, I am merely here to observe. Though I would keep at a safe distance, 1812 Overture.
Eh i suck at stuff like that
And im the Necromancer
Wait, were you speaking of my physical appearance or not?
Hi Sir!
You always know how to make me feel slightly better for a small amount of time!
Actually, I am fairly certain that it is spelled fared, contrary to your belief.
1812 Overture? What relation does the 1812 Overture have to Nixion's death?
Well... A skill is a skill, I suppose.
You remind me of someone I know called Manga
I was not speaking of your physical appearance, no.
Kestrel, the meaning of the word faired is to become smooth, attractive, or symmetrical. Though it is not commonly used on the internet, it DOES have a place in multiple older dictionaries. However, it has fallen out of practice lately. As you can see, in one of my previous posts, I wrote whether or not you were speaking of my physical appearance, thus clarifying my confusion.
I do not doubt you, although I had no knowledge of this word before. I was merely stating that in the way that I meant for fared to be used, it is not spelled with an 'i'. Thank you for enlightening me as to this matter.
This has no place in the current discussion, however. I understand your use of the alternate word, and extend my apologies for intruding by falsely correcting yourself as such.
Now then, who is the Manga character?
Isn't the 1812 Overture the one with cannons?
He is a skilled drawing, who isn't as formal as you, but seems to have the same sort of thought process, in a way. The same randomness
The 1812 Overture is a piano piece composed by Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky, if I am not mistaken. However, I am unsure whether or not it includes cannons.
Hey sir.
Sir, I accept your apologies, and in return offer my own for misinterpreting your confusion.
1812 IS the one with the cannons, though only around 14 minutes in. I find the rest to be equally delightful, if not underrated.
Ah, thanks for explaining.
Formal i only act formal when in meetings with important people
I am ashamed to say that while I had completed a report on Mr. Tchaikovsky, I have not listened to the 1812 Overture, as far as I am aware.
Grand Mage, I only act formal when Sir is on. Otherwise, I end up with the sensation that I am of limited intelligence.
I have heard it a few times.
I could be mistaken but I believe it was written to commemorate a battle or something of the sort thus explaining the cannons which doesn't surprise if it is seeing as how Russia was very militarist and was engaged in a war against Napoleon at the time.
I am fairly certain that at one moment in time, I was able to play a portion of it. However, I do not recall which of my books it was in, and I am not sure I could play it again if asked.
Hello?
Hello Fabi! Is the shark still on?
Hello once again, Ember.
Hey ember.
Ember, Sir is indeed still on, which accounts for my continuous failed attempts at formality.
There does not appear to be a shark in sight, only an overture with cannons, but I could be mistaken.
Aah
*shrugs*
I mightnt act it but i am in Honors and all high level classes
Hello once again, Kestrel! Isn't it funny that the shark showed up jus then?!
*smiles at embers reference to sir as the shark*
Ember, it is rather amusing, I must say.
Fabi, I'm afraid I do not see an overture with cannons. I might, however, have missed something, seeing as I have not finished reading all the previous comments.
Oh! [almost drops camera]
What's amusing?
What is it that has startled you so, Fabienne?
Sorry, just realized something important. Brb.
Ember, refer to your previous comment. I was simply expressing my agreement.
Fabi, did you get any clear shots of the shark? And also can you get a shot of the volcano?
Kes, how do you know that the shark is still on?
Ember, I am aware that Sir is still on because he is much too polite to take his leave without informing us of his impending absence.
Quite rightly so.
I didn't get any with the explosion-proof camera, but I will check the one secured into my hat.
{OMG this is big!!!!!}
Unless somebody caught the shark. Or maybe he was eaten by a shark-eating whale.
Fabienn, excuse me if this is considered impolite, but I must inquire as to why there is a camera in your headgear.
(What's big?????)
Glad you have one in you hat. Is it waterproof?
But how would we know if his manners had failed him and he had indeed absconded.
*Fabienne
I still think that someone right now is making shark fin soup with his fins.
Eden, while this is true, I do not believe that such a thing would occur. He may, however, have been called away by something of importance and been unable to inform us.
I have one in my hat, because I want there to be footage if somebody murders me. I will, of course, change its location now.
In response to your inquiry, I am uncertain whether or not it is meant to be waterproof, however it has survived my extremely damp hometown, so probably.
I'm on to you, I know what youre doing. It was too much of a coincidence.
Maybe so but it is the duty of a gentleman to be mannerly and I doubt the small amount of time it would take to type I'll be back would cause him to be late to such a venue as he would sè fit to travel to.
Ember, seriously?
The question, however, is whether he would have the time to type "apologies for my abrupt departure" I doubt he'd settle for I'll be back.
*pauses*
Well, I'm quitting being being formal until he reappears. I'm awful at it.
Fine, by me, Kessie.
Ah but on the contrary the circumstances may drive him to do so.
Should be any minute...
Now Eden's doing it. xD
Actually, there were a whole lot of us attempting to talk formally during the Requiem Ball. It lasted about a page of comments, max.
Sorry, I'm typing while preparing for a surprise party.
Haha.
Wish I'd been there...
Is it a Requiem Ball?
Unfortunately, not. It's for the director/producer of this dance thingy I was in.
Are you talking about the old one because I think there might be one on New Year's Eve but I think the organising fell through.
We filled up the comments in about two and a half days, including the after party.'Twas amazing. It lasted 49 hours- one day around the world.
Cool. XD
I think a New Years Eve party be fun
Eden, the New Year's Eve isn't a Ball, I think it's just a Countdown Party.
(Not sure how that'll work, given timezones.)
Hmm indeed.
Nix poofed :3
Surprise!!!!! [presents Ms. Parrish with bouquet of flowers. Drinks punch, toasts performance and other cast members. Is toasted. Gets phone out again, and back to Blogland.]
The sun never sets on the Bloglandian empire.
Ruled the cramped fist by the golden god Derek landy.
*wonders what Fabi has against asterisks and ~s*
[is from a land of brackets where you asteriskers were the weirdos]
[will probably end up becoming an asterisker after being less of a newbie, but for now, follows DD]
How about ~s?
What did you say about asterisks.
Well that's just bull****
Bull[][]
It's just not the same.
[has nothing against them, but doesn't use them]
Lol
I know I just wanted to do that.
*~[has decided to use all three-for now]~*
Haha. I use asterisks for spelling mistakes, and BEEEEEP for bad words. Brackets for actions, however, I picked them up from Dahlia, and I'm keeping them.
Dahlia?
Nice, Kessie. [would use all three, but doesn't want to type so many symbols]
From this other forum... I'm new here, not likely to know people you don't.
For censoring, I just say "censored", and let people figure out WHAT I'm censoring.
I say BEEEEEP, like I'm censoring sound.
I just use asterisks because its just easier.
Plus that's what they use for bad words in the newspaper.
The more Es, the angrier I am, en general.
Fabi, the forums?
skulduggeryforums.co.uk?
Or something entirely different?
*~[is confused]~*
*in
Why would you trust newspapers?
Well, we called it 'the forums' but it's not related to SP whatsoever. Though there were several roleplays...
*~[hums Inside the Fire]~*
Blast and confound my inferior and disabled internet! I must regretfully inform you all that I must take my leave of you, as I am posting on one of these infernal telephone contraptions, with little success. Apologies.
Au revoir, Sir!
My stomach hurts...
Apology accepted. [hums imperial march]
Damn his manners but I suppose since it was not an urgent manner it does not affect my argument.
Bye sir.
I bid thee good morrow.
*~[hums Forgiven]~*
I sincerely sympathize with the struggle in your intestines.
...
...
Never mind, that sounds weird.
Oh, confound it all.
*goes back to just asterisks*
Yeah, Fabi, it does.
I don't do formal very well... Srry.
I'm okay at it.
(I actually use confound it all irl...)
What does irl mean?
In real life.
I'm pretty wordy irl, but not THAT wordy. I will throw in the occasional 'bedraggled' or 'legerdemain' but never while typing/emailing/texting/commenting/posting.
However, I'm morenlikely to do so now that I said I won't!XD
True, true. So suggest the laws of probability.
Reverse psychology and the idea of a unique thought from inception working together cool.
Hmmm?
I believe so, and how ember pointed out how it was funny sir came on and we know ember has more than one account and how they weren't both on at the same time.
Quite. Sir lives in Florida- only a couple of hours away from me!
Distant, writing a short story.
Okay so are you saying there two different people?
Kessie, do you know Ember, too?
Im dying of laughter
Zaf, do you know something???? [Glares]
Hey Zaf.
No lets just say i made a character named Valkyrie (no last name) as a tribute and so i get told: Derek sees you get her killed off you'll die so yes funny convo
Ah. The hunger games thingy.
Are you talking about Zathract hunger games ?
I admin a roleplay page for it i did an SP related arena once the finale was the Faceless Ones
No Facebook
I don't know either of them.
Then how are you sure they're not the same??!?
Hey guys!
and no Fabi, I'm not faking it this time
xD
Well the only way to be sure is to ask ember and I'm sure he's read some of these comments or at least suspects we know so he'll probably deny it and make sure sir "appears " to prove it.
Hi Jubi!!!
WHY
IS
SIMS
SO
ADDICTING????
You're probably right.
Also, Ember is female...
Sorry.
HEY FABI AND EDEN AND KESSIE (I think you're still here... :P) AND EVERYONE ELSE!
OK, whatever. I'll drop the subject. But I HAVE MY EYE ON ONE OR BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!
Dedication:
For dahlia, [],*,~, and anyone who uses any of them.
Yes I just dedicated to inanimate punctuation!
HI JUBI!
People dedicate to inanimate things all the time.
Hi, Jubi!
Haha Hey guys :p
I'd like to see Sir write a dedication... Would be interesting to read.
Well that kind of ruins it.
I knew that its just I keep see the picture of my croft Holmes and the umbrella so I type he.
I apologize for causing a disturbance and not accomplishing anything. My earlier comments have been retracted, and at this point, I accept the fact that we will probably never know.
I suppose.
I'll save my other speculations for another time.
And on that note... Gtg! Typing in the car makes me nauseated.
BYE FABI!
Back in like 10 minutes ish.
Bye Jubi!!!!XD
See you in ten minutes ish fab.
*rides around on Clemy to break the awkward silence*
Valkyrie Cain stopped in front if the burned building, aware that if Skulduggery found out she was here, instead of dealing with family matters like she had told him, she would have a lot of explaining to do. But she needed to know.
She stepped over a particularly large pile of rubble, and a car whizzed past behind her. She started, automatically picturing the Bentley, despite the fact that a car out at midday was completely normal.
It turned a corner and disappeared from her vision, and she relaxed. She wasn't afraid of Skulduggery, she told herself, she just didn't want to have to explain to him until after she had investigated. He was biased, would never be able to fund clues properly.
She stepped around the burnt and twisted spine of an expensive-looking book. The sight of it wrenched at her heart, but she told herself firmly that there was nothing she could have done.
Now she was standing where the main building had been, once. Before it had been blown apart in spite, abandoned in grief. She looked around her, saw all the places someone could hide, and groaned.
Well, she thought, no time like the present.
"China? It's Valkyrie. Skulduggery doesn't know I'm here. I need to talk to you."
She meant for her voice to carry across the entire lot, but it came out shaky, weak. Another couple of cars passed and turned the corner; she barely noticed.
"China?" she asked again, more loudly this time. She heard a faint rustling from behind one of the larger stacks of rubble. She took two steps forward, and then half a step back. A head poked out from behind it, but didn't move.
The head belonged to a girl, probably around Valkyrie's own age. She was pale, nearly unnaturally so, and had black hair which looked like it reached at least to her shoulders. It was her eyes that really stood out, however. The whites were black, and the irises and pupils were white.
Valkyrie stepped forward again, and the head disappeared again, only to reappear, along with a body, legs, and arms on the other side of the pile. Both the girl and Valkyrie took a few steps closer, until they were close enough to hear each other without yelling.
The girl eyed Valkyrie suspiciously. "Who are you?"
Valkyrie ignored her. "I'm looking for China. China Sorrows."
The girl looked at her for another moment, and then seemed to sag. She mumbled something that sounded like, "Oh. Valkyrie Cain, of course," but Valkyrie couldn't be sure.
The girl reached into a black bag that she had slung over one shoulder, and pulled out the tattered remnants of a hat.
"Do you know what this is?" she asked. Valkyrie silently shook her head.
The girl stepped closer. "It's one of the Detective's hats, Miss Cain. Proof that he is the cause of my mistress's downfall. Tell him that I don't appreciate it. Tell him that I'm coming."
With that, the girl tossed the hat to Valkyrie, who caught it without thinking. There was something about this girl that stopped her from returning it, and refusing. Valkyrie wasn't entirely sure what, so instead she asked, "And whom shall I yell him it's from?"
A grin spread across the girl's face, and it was not a nice grin. "Kestrel LeStarre," she said, and then turned and walked away, leaving Valkyrie alone with the hat.
*of
*tell
NIce Kessie!!
Cool.
Thank you. I'm doing a bunch of those for....
Something that it is not permittable to discuss on Thr Blog.
*The
I'm falling asleep...
I have to go, bye!
Bye! :p
Bye!! I seem to just miss you a lot... Nice story segment!!!
Hi all, back!!
Haha Hey Fabi!
Hi, Jubi!!! 8-O
ughh its like midnight here... AND IM NOT TIRED!
its probably because i took a 5 hr nap earlier....
*sigh*
It's like midnight here, but it isn't midnight, it's 9:30.
It's 5.30 at night here and I haven't gone to sleep.
5:30 am or pm?
To sleep, perchance to dream? Ay, there's the rub.
(Hi Eden!)
I had a dream, past the with of man to say what dream it was.
(I'm in an odd sort of mood, sorry)
Post a Comment