Friday, November 16, 2012

A Bad Review

Hullo there.

This post started out as a quick response to a few comments in the previous entry, but it grew into something a little more detailed. So even though I really have to get back to the Tanith novella, I figured I'd address it here instead.

Kestrel LeStarre (hi Kestrel!) posted an excerpt from a Good Reads review of Book One- a review that wasn't exactly favourable. Every writer gets all kinds of reviews- some good, some great, some bad, some terrible. It's the business. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. I'll deal with this one in stages.

Disappointing. The title/name and the cover illustration really appealed to me, but the book was generic and unbelievable from the start. I suppose some could be forgiven considering that the intended audience appears to be maybe 11 year olds (?), but I personally don't believe that children's books should be low quality just because they are aimed at children.

I can't find fault with this statement. I mean, I don't exactly AGREE with it, and most of you probably don't either, but the reviewer is merely stating that this isn't his cup of proverbial tea. He doesn't think the writing is as good as it should be. I got a few of these responses to the first book and my reaction was to shrug. Fair enough. That's what they think. I can read back over the series and make a note of where and when and how my writing improved- I am a MUCH better writer now than I was back then- but for every negative statement I received, I got hundreds of positive ones from readers who were willing to forgive any first-book-mistakes and simply dive right in, ready to be swept away on a tsunami of, er, awesomeness.

And hey, how can you disagree too harshly with a guy who appreciates Tom's covers like that?

...oh, and saying "I'm a genius" all the time does not make a character full of "dry wit".

This is very true. The fact that he is full of dry wit makes him full of dry wit. Nicely pointed out.

...oh, and being spunky child full of spunk who sprays spunk everywhere does not mean the child is equivalent to an adult. Children can be clever, creative, work in groups, et cetera but having them physically fight adults 1-on-1 strains credulity.

Ah, now here is the only point he's made that I take issue with. Having a spunky child fight an adult one-on-one does NOT strain credulity. Having a spunky child BEAT an adult one-on-one, however, very much does. It took Valkyrie YEARS to be strong enough to hold her own without the use of magic, and even then I don't think she's ever WON. In Death Bringer, when she's fighting Moore in her house without magic, even though she's had a few years of the best combat training in the world, the fact is she's still a 16 year old girl and he's a grown man. And Val doesn't exactly win that fight. She needs help.

I've always had a problem with YA books that show young teenagers beating adults in a physical brawl. They might get lucky, absolutely. A lucky punch can knock anyone out. But most of the adults they go up against are criminals or villains of some description- men and women who KNOW violence. No amount of martial arts in the world will make that a fair fight. Fair fights, in fact, are ridiculously stupid. Why would you EVER get into a fair fight? If you have to fight you need to WIN- and that means you fight on YOUR terms, not his.

Val has adopted this philosophy because this is my philosophy. 

When Val has to fight, she fights. She uses every dirty trick she can. This is the girl, remember, who tore out a creature's throat with her TEETH down in the caves in Death Bringer. Fair fights are for suckers.

...oh, and not all adults are doofuses.

I'm assuming he's referring to Desmond here, who is very much a doofus- though this statement kind of skips over the fact that Skulduggery, Ghastly, China, Tanith, Bliss and most everyone else except Stephanie/Valkyrie is ALSO an adult, so...


Anyway, what was the point in discussing this here? It's not like this is the only bad review I've ever got. There is one in particular that stands out as being SO unbelievably bad that you get the feeling the reviewer has a personal grudge against me- like he was determined to hate every single thing about the book. But I didn't respond to THAT review. Someone like that is really not worth my time. So why this one?

First of all, the reviewer is not being mean. He doesn't like the book, and the review is quite snarky in its own playful way, but there is not one trace of malice in those words. It's just his opinion, and he not only has a right to HAVE that opinion, but he has a right to SHARE it as well. I'll never give a bad review of any book (apart from maybe books by HUGE writers), because I know how hard it is to get published in the first place and the last thing a writer needs is someone else going "you suck." If I don't like a book I'll simply ignore it. I won't say anything at all about it. But that's me, being in the privileged position that I'm in. Any negative opinion of mine can actually damage someone else's success, so it becomes something more than an opinion. But all this reviewer is doing is letting people know that he didn't respond well to Skulduggery Pleasant.

But again- why am I discussing it here?

Some of you like Twilight. That's fine. I don't like it. Twilight is one of those books I feel I can criticise because nothing I say will effect its success. By now it's untouchable. So... some of you like it. All of you probably know at least a few people who love it. Of course you do.

A few years ago, Stephen King criticised Stephanie Meyer for, you know, not being any good. In return, he got an avalanche of angry responses from Twilight fans.

(I refuse to call them Twihards.)

That level of anger and fury and vitriol is not uncommon on the internet. The internet is the HOME of anger and fury and vitriol. It's where those things live. It's where they spawn and fester and grow. But you see it again and again: one person criticises something that a lot of other people love, and here comes the avalanche. And we're standing by, watching it all happen but not involved one way or the other, and we look at the angry people and we think "Wow. You seriously need to get out more."

The few responses from you guys to this Good Reads review have been wonderful. As I'm writing this, Ivy has just posted another response, and it is just as good-spirited as Georgina's and Beau's and Kristine's (thought Kristine's response DID make me think of Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons going "Me fail English? That's unpossible!")

You guys are so passionate about Skulduggery and so supportive of me as a writer, and it's moments like these when I realise yet again how lucky I am to have Minions like you. Warm, intelligent, fiery people who won't even be rude to people they strongly disagree with.

You guys rock.


4,937 comments:

  1. No time to chat, just in to say Valice, I think that's true- I'll be at the Cologne festival in 2013!

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  2. I dedicate this page to YOU PEOPLE!

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  3. Yet another reason why Derek is PERFECT and my favourite author ever. :3

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  4. Well, it's more proof of how perfect he is, I guess.

    Yes, that's it.

    I swear, I get more dense each day. ._.

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  5. Who cares what that person thinks, it's his opinion.
    The opinion of someone else should not waver yours.

    HI DEREK
    YOUR BOOKS ARE EPIC AND SO ARE YOU!!
    Dont let that persons opinion shake you.
    I love Desmond the way he is!

    Also, as of today I have 22 Skulduggery Pleasant books, by the end of next week, I should have 32 :D

    *excited for my books arriving*

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  6. OMGG my Science teacher just phoned and told my paremts I'd done brilliant work. You know that homework I've just been moaning about so much? APPARENTLY I DID REALLY WELL ON IT SO MY SCIENCE TEACHER PHONED AND SEEING AS WE JUST WON TWENTY-FIVE POUNDS ON THIS PREMIUM BOND THING APPARENTLY I'LL GET IT. :/

    Wow. I'VE CHANGED MY MIND AGAIN. IF NOT GETTING VACCINATED AGAINST CHICKENPOX MEANS I DO BRILLIANT HOMEWORK ON IT, THEN DOWN WITH VACCINES!

    Although there isn't much point giving me money. I rarely spend it. :P

    NOW FOR THE POST: I was gonna post a reply, but when Kes posted the link the bus was pulling up to school and then I was at the swimming pool and then I, uh, forgot . . .

    GO MY FELLOW MINIONS! :)

    DANKE, DEREK. PLUS, I'LL BE USING YOUR DENVER POST TO HELP ME WITG MY ENGLISH. THE TOPIC IS 'VIOLENCE IN THE MEDIA'. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND . . .

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  7. I convinced my school librarian to get Scepter of the Ancients!

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  8. I'm just been sitting here refreshing the page reading everyone's comments...

    OI, DEREK! *waves madly*
    Are you going to dedicate book 9 to yourself? I think you should.

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  9. Actually, all adult humans are doofuses, coz they're human. Humans are really stupid. But I get where both Derek and review-person are coming from. :)

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  10. Star, China is not a doofus. She is epicness itself.

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  11. I have a few things to say.
    First, I am NOT 11. I am older.
    Second, I know 17-year-olds who are obsessed as I am.
    Third yes, Derek, I do like Twilight so thank you for not insulting it to my face.
    And last, but certainly not least,
    WHERE IS THE TANITH COVER YOU PROMISED US???

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  12. SEEEEEEEEV!!!!

    I've been changing my mind so much recently. It was non-uniform day today and I've decided that not wearing school uniform is better. :)

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  13. China doesn't exist. She's allowed to not be stupid.

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  14. i just broke my guitar... it kinda split down the middle ?

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  15. and derek - YOU NEED , NEED to come back to Scotland :)

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  16. Btw, that ghost town thing was so, so sad. :(

    I'd rather nobody was a ghost, if you don't mind. I like to thing that there is more after death than simply ghostiness. But the ghost town was a lovely idea. :) *hugs anyone involved with ghost town*

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  17. Wow. Well said. And yet more reason why I need to double my efforts at marriage proposal. I love you, Derek!

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  18. This whole virtually killing people on the internet is what we call fandom wars! Incredibly funny to watch! :L

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  19. HI THRUST!

    I have repeatedly thought Sev was you. Similar profile pics. Just now I thought you were Sev. :P

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  20. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME TOMORROW!
    Say Happy Birthday,Derek! >:D
    One thing: I'm now technically too old to play Valkyrie </3
    Ah well.
    Who cares, I still look like a twelve year old.

    THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY, BY SAYING STUFF ABOUT TWILIGHT BECAUSE IT IS THE MOST TERRIBLE BOOK SERIES IN THE HISTORY OF BOOKNESS.
    Well.
    Apart from 50 Shades of Grey, but let's not go there, shall we?

    x

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  21. Derek you are seriously like the most perfect person in the world (Not saying that to boost your ego because we already know that it's sky high) But seriously! Skulduggery is amazing, you're amazing and I'm amazing. Simple as that. I'll always be a minion ;)

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  22. good long blog post.. perfect to keep me reading something while waiting for the new book! I NEEEDDD another book!! :D

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  23. do ou think it would be possible for me to super glue my guitar back together? hmmm...

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  24. In which Derek is a whole new level of amazing.

    But honestly this is so true (apart from for me. I have my moments, ahem.). I FEEL ALL FUZZY AFTER THIS POST JFEGHKHGAEWF

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  25. DID ANYONE (besides me) NOTICE THAT DEREK FORGOT ABOUT THE TANITH NOVELETTE COVER??? No, seriously, did anyone else notice??!! Anybody?

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  26. Whether or not it was there cup of tea, how could they not find these books laugh out loud funny? I was often trying not to wet myself!
    You are right to shrug, Derek! Screw opinions, your books' greatness is a fact :)

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  27. respect for Derek! :D
    oh and hey everyone!!

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  28. I hate Twilight too! We're so alike, Derek!!! xD

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  29. Yeah we noticed Sky! Just be patient!

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  30. And no-body pays attention to little me's comments.

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  31. GOLDENGODDAMNIT.

    why do I have to wait until Sunday

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  32. sky i sympathise, im having a real problem here with my guitar and no one has helped me :(

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  33. Okay. I'll just edit my profile and add impatient to the List of things that make ME.

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  34. I noticed Sky!
    I am just thinking he might post it later. I'm holding out to see if he does post it tonight :P

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  35. As an ex twilight fan I feel i can safely say none of them can criticise Stephen King's opinion. I mean, he's published 67 novels and stephanie meyer's published how many, 6? 7?

    Hehehe sorry i'm a massive SK fan

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  36. Derek you lovely man you are most welcome...

    And also respond on Bebo ;-;

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  37. Derek, by "adult" I think they may have also meant Scapegrace.

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  38. And *gasp!*
    You dedicated on the first page!!

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  39. I used to like Twilight and don't anymore
    *shrugs*

    I think Stephanie Meyer has only published 6 books

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  40. Tanith Low novella cover isn't going to be released until NEXT Friday

    Come on people, don't you read?

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  41. About your guitar, Frost(do you mind if I call you Frost?) I have racked my brain and I have NO IDEA how to help because I don't own a guitar. And NJ (do you mind if I call you NJ?) I'm hoping the same thing. I'll be back later, got to go.
    Cya.

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  42. @Thrust The review was on the 1st book, Scapegrace doesn't appear until PWF

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  43. guys the super glue didnt work - I have officially broke my guitar :(

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  44. REST IN PIECES MELICA'S GUITAR. :'(

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  45. Hey Derek. When you get the chance can you answer this? I know you are busy so like whenever you can.

    If Valkyrie had shunted to the other reality and say Remit or another Mevolent Teleporter had gone into her reality with her would they be able to teleport back to theirs and bring say Mevolent into Valkyrie's diminsion?

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  46. Does anyone here watch the walking dead??!?!

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  47. I showed it to my parents and all they said was "Its ok were getting you a new one for christmas" so YAY i now know what Im getting for christmas :D

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  48. Ok you know what? Im a fan of Twilight but honest to god I HATED the books. It was like, ok really? They sparkle, cool werewolves. The only good people I like are the Volturi the evil vampires. To me, Bella is freakin selfish! I hate her. Then the whole thing with Breaking Dawn. Ugh....she is an idiot. Now Skulduggery Pleasant? I cant find a flaw. I cant find something honestly I hate besides Derek firing me but that was on the Blog. To me, Derek is a hell lot better of a writer then Meyer. Derek does a good job of baoancing between action and those points of no real action, in Twilight the books I didnt find much action. I was bored reading some books. But with SP? I never am bored reading. Never. So yeah SP is a hundred times better then Twilight, the movies for Twilight are good but not the books

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  49. I asked my mum for a new bookshelf for my birthday.......
    She said i had too many. *sad face*

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  50. omg hey derek i sooo cnt believe u ever had a bd review i love love LOVE all yr book's there brill and really make me think i read them and compare myself 2 the characters and make conections and fink up my own twists and try 2 guess the pltos but yr origanl idears r always better how do u come up with it all i tryed writting book but its soooo hard soz now im moaning and i shouldnt on yr blog

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  51. Wow. I never thought I'd see the day I critised a book. O.O

    *skips around*

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  52. everything is going off in Hollyoaks right now. Omg.

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  53. yup tis, barts going all loco cause he feels guilty and everyones having a mental breakdown :O

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  54. *nods*

    Hmmm....I like hearing from Derek. Least he's not causing trouble....

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  55. Oh yeah! My teacher told me I had issues when I started telling my friend about the video I got of Derek saying I got issues she said I truly am a pyromaniac and i got issues xD partly that might be from one of my...extra credit stories that knda scared her :D

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  56. shit is going down in hollyoaks - excuse my language but I felt it was apropriate ...

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  57. actually I should have said shiz... oh well

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  58. With this you gave me just another reason to love you for who you are.

    Derek you are one of the good ones in this world. Keep going!

    love
    Annie

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  59. Suz, I've seen your photograph.

    I love you too.

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  60. DEREK!!!!

    *waves*

    Sorry I distonated, people. Was on Goodreads . . .

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  61. derek, could you possibly come to Scotland please? :D that would be one of the highlights of my life :)

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  62. KESSSIIEEEE!! YOUR FREAKING NAME IS ON THE FREAKING BLOG POST!!!! :D :D :D :D

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  63. Im casually singing a song from chorus and I hit the highest note for sopranos in that song YES!!!!

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  64. Hiya Zaf- and regarding your teleporter question- yes they would.

    Zephyr- i watch the Walking Dead! Another episode on tonight! Awesome!!

    Myacewall- yup, writing a book isn't easy...! And thank you for the compliments!

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  65. ZAF ON SUNDAY I'LL FINALLY GET A COUPLE OF THE US EDITIONS OF SP! I'm so excited. x3 but I don't wanna grow up.

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  66. Oh my gosh!! Thats not good.....if Valkyrie had accidently brought him it'd be the end of the world

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  67. I quoted the blog post to review-person then gave my opinion on the review. *shrugs*

    APPARENTLY WE'RE WATCHING SHERLOCK TONIGHT INSTEAD OF TOMORROW. :)

    Which is all yay apart from the fact that after this there'll be no more Sherlock till Christmas . . . *breaks down and howls*

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  68. OMG DEREK THIS IS THE CLOSEST I'VE EVER GOTTEN TO ONE OF YOUR COMMENTS!

    PS: You may remember me as Jane, the nutcase from Cork with her 3 friends Bill, Alice and Ciaran. YOU SIGNED MY BOOK SOUL SAVERS WITH A MINI DEREK!

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  69. Hi Melica! Hi Luciana! Hi Ink!

    Melica- I reckon I'll get to Scotland (probably Edinburgh) sometime in 2013, definitely.

    Hi Maralie!

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  70. Hi Melica! Hi Luciana! Hi Ink!

    Melica- I reckon I'll get to Scotland (probably Edinburgh) sometime in 2013, definitely.

    Hi Maralie!

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  71. OH MY GOD.....CONGRATS!!!!

    Wait you watch the Walking Dead, Derek?! I love you

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  72. STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tacklehugs*

    ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAF!!!!! *tacklehugs also*

    LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCI! *tacklehugs once again*

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  73. Wait before I forget...Derek have you gotten anything from myself and 2 other Ameriminions?

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  74. And, um, I posted that twice because you people are extra special...

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  75. How are you, Derek?^^


    CIN IS ON!<3
    It's always really good:3 Last year my form raised hundreds on our own.. thus year we made, like, fifty pounds..

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  76. Zaf- maybe...! I dunno! There's a whole box of mail I still have to sort through!

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  77. I think I may be coming down with a cold... I was sneezing during school all day. It was really funny. We were doing 'social studies' and our teacher said "What would you change about yourself?" and some dude said "My gender."



    I. DIED.

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  78. YAY! i live in glasgow but Ill happily drive to edinburgh :D

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  79. DEREK!!!!!!!!! *jumps up and down like a kangeroo ninja aeroplane*

    Notice I say "like". I'm not a ninja aeroplane. I cannot hope to compare with Ieni's ninja aeroplaneness. :)

    DEREK DEREK DEREK. I COULD TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR AMAZINGNESS, BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW ABOUT IT. :P

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  80. BOOYEAH! I'm extra special!



    Derek, just to say, Kessie is gonna freak when she sees she's in the blog post... believe me.

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  81. Yay! I'm extra special:3

    I feel so loved;3

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  82. I have hiccups - I gulped air because Im an epic goldfish and I solved my guitar issue - I taped the two halves together! :) I have smarts like no other...

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  83. Dammit...

    I forgot about a contest in school today. We basically have a huge paper maché tap/faucet, cause it's our SAVING WATER mascot, and we were meant to name it. You get €5 if you win. I wanted to enter with Happy Tappy, but forgot... :( Apparently 'Freddie Faucet' won. Stupid 2nd classer and his stupid imagination...

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  84. I was watching a movie then...Derek is on so...I kinda fan girled....actually I dropped KOTW in shock xD

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  85. Once my mum ran over my cello in the car. :)

    It was my fault. I forgot to take it in the house after she took it out the boot. It was smashed into so many pieces . . . I still have the bridge from it - it was mostly intact so I've glued it together and kept it. :)

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  86. Ink- you know me so well...

    Maralie- you mean she'll freak even more than usual? Oh dear lord.

    Luciana- you ARE special. In your own very special way.

    Melica- you have mad taping skills.

    And Zaf- of course you may hug me.

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  87. This is the first time I, uh, typed to Derek :)

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  88. *hugs Derek*

    Thanks! My day is now complete! So arent mad at us for doing OTOA? (Operation Take Over America)

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  89. Derek - Oh yes. Yes, she will. *hangs head* I just 'Meebo-ed' her on Wattpad. She will FREAK. As in, "OH MY GOLDEN GOD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"




    Exactly.

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  90. HI DEREK, by the way.
    I'm slightly unannoyed.
    Wait, noo. I'm super NOT annoyed now..

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  91. *laughs* OF COURSE I'M SPECIAL, I'M ME. and me is awesome. But not as awesome as you. Because it's impossible to be anywhere near as awesome as the Golden God. :')

    Also, that Dr. Who trailer actually looks really awesome...

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  92. I feel so blessed, my taping skills have FINALLY been recognised:D

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  93. DEREK I HAVE A QUESTION.

    I like 1D. One Direction. Etc. Does that make me... uncool? o.o

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  94. I think I just hit another high note...yuup. SUCESS!!!!! See to think I couldnt sing soprano 1

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  95. OF COURSE I KNOW YOU WELL, I'M ON YOUR BLOG EVERY DAY APART FROM WHEN I GO ON HOLIDAY AND STUFF. :)

    We have this thing at school where we can email in quotes from inspirational people and they could put your quote up on the wall . . . Really noticeably as well . . .

    GUESS WHO I'M EMAILING IN ABOUT???

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  96. I LOVE SINGING. :D


    But I'm not the best... lol :3

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  97. Derek, do you notice me? you only once ever have told me anything. And you said you liked Paffles, and a bunch of other awesome stuff that had me smiling for weeks, but still.
    I need to regenerate.

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  98. Hi Mr. Landy! You are the most legendary author in my opinion. Great fight scenes, strong plots, and wonderfully-morbid twists.

    I would humbly request that you make a visit to South Africa. We love you here. Seriously. We have your face on our billboards everywhere.

    So come visit! For a day, a least...

    Your first and greatest Afri-Minion,

    Lord Vlaedr.

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  99. I'm an Iriminion :)


    WOOOOO GO TIPPERARY WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    TIPPERARY TIPPERARY ARE WE ARE WE ARE WE!!!

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  100. Hiya Thrust!

    Zaf- OTOA is fine with me!

    Thank you Mara! As for liking 1D... uhm... noooo.... no, that doesn't make you uncool.... Liking Skulduggery makes up for it...!

    Luciana- what Dr Who trailer? Where? What?

    Ink- would it be ME, perchance??

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  101. I had some rainbow dust earlier. I forgot how awesome it is!

    Rainbow dust, Skittles, Rainbow Drops... *carries on naming food with rainbow in the name*

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  102. Im holding my KOTW book petting it I dropped it in shock! Oops! I promise it is in one piece

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  103. Yes! SCORE ONE FOR MARA!


    Luci, you forgot sMaraties. :D

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  104. Dr. Who trailer for the Xmas special. It was on the Children In Need thingy mabobby. Try YouTube-ing it, maybe?^^

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  105. AWESOME!!!!!!

    Derek, do you agree with my teacher that I'm insane? She told me I was. I mean...yeah you were a character in my essay..lxD

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  106. My cheeks feel very hot. Maybe if I get some coke...


    *sneaks out* *gets 4 bottles of coke* *hides from dad*


    MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!

    *chokes on coke* *coughs*

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  107. hey derek I have a question, do you like Scottish accents? and also - do you watch How I Met your mother? wait... thats 2 question :D

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  108. Hey, did you hear that some doctor from Dr Who (I personally have never watched it... BUT I PROMISED KESSIE I WOULD SOON) is in I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!? He's a 'former Dr. Who Actor'. He's very funny.

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  109. Aaa argh my ultimate dream has come true.
    And I have no idea what to do.
    There are a million possibilities.

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  110. It would be such a boring world if everyone loved the same books or liked the exact same things.

    It's odd, how much it can sting to see someone post a negative comment or review on something one loves - because even though it's generally not meant that way, having something I love being torn apart and shown to be flawed (at least in that person's mind) has a tendency to feel like criticism at all those people who loved it, too. Which makes it hard to just let slide.

    I've opted for never commenting on negative reviews anywhere, even if they're one star reviews on something I've adored - instead, I think, for me, the better choice is to post a positive review of my own. Which I'm not always nearly as good about doing as I should be...

    (Also, as probably one of the oldest "active" fans in this fandom, in physical age, that is, can I just say that whoever the series was "intended" for, it works mighty well for us slightly more mature people, too?)

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  111. Derek, may I request something?

    May you tell me exactly what you think of me? Like, whatever you think, tell me in a little paragraph :3

    I just want something that tells me and that I can stick to my SP wall :D

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  112. ANOTHER SHIP:

    Luciana/Skulduggery. *nods*

    BUT I THINK VALITH, VILEQUESSE, VALGUINE, CHINDUGGERY, FLETCHDUGGERY ETC. SHOULD BE CANON. BUTTHEYNEVERWILLBE

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  113. sMaraties... hm. Any other things I can Mara-tise?

    ... hmmmm. sMarashmallows? HAHAHAHA.

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  114. Luciana- dammit, missed it... Must YouTube when it becomes available.

    Thrust- I don't hate your name. Calling someone "Thrust", though, takes a little getting used to...!

    Zaf- i wouldn't say you're "insane". I'd just say you're differently sane. Um.

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  115. Yes, that's him Melica. :) Thank you :D


    Dear LORD, I'm obsessed with I'm A Celeb. And 1D. AAAAAAAAAAAAND SP, of COURSE.

    I have a little section of my room for SP stuff. And another for 1D stuff. But none for I'm a Celeb. I'm not a STALKER... *shifty eyes*

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  116. Derek, I have the videos, I filmed it on my iPad - do you want me to upload it?

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  117. Have you seen Jekyll and Hyde, Derek? Oh and also I know I'm sane!! But if you come to America you may re-think your thoughts. Trust me.

    ReplyDelete
  118. I think they'll play it again later on! It showed Matt Smith on the Coming Up thingy again...
    Looks cool, anyway. ^^

    ReplyDelete
  119. CHINITH.

    MORTAL COIL MAKES CHINITH SO SHIPPABLE. C:

    ReplyDelete
  120. Lol, Mr. Landy doesn't seem to have seen my comment.

    Oh well. Maybe some other time.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Derek, do you by any chance have a Wattpad account? :)

    Kessie said you did, but I looked you up and YOU DIDN'T COME UP. KESSIE LIED. SHE IS DEAD.

    ReplyDelete
  122. I just realised Im in my outfit I wore to be Zaf for Halloween. I even got the ring on

    ReplyDelete
  123. AAAAAAHH.


    Derek, I still have the episode of Mastermind you were on recorded :)

    ReplyDelete
  124. I knew it.
    I hate that also.
    Anyway. I can't think straight at the moment. I planned it in impressive detail, but plans never really were my thing. There too much like buses
    And then there the fact that I can't think straight.
    Soon I will be strangling myself for rememberinbg nothing. You'll see.

    ReplyDelete
  125. DEREK, have you ever watched Adventure Time!?

    "You look like a big pink baguette!" I cry every time

    ReplyDelete
  126. DEREK.


    *claps hands in front of Derek's face*


    DEEEEREEEEK.


    Sorry. I'm impatient.

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  127. My mom came home with a baguette for dinner with spagetti I dont think I managed to eat it without lughing hysterically

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  128. ADVENTURE TIME
    COME ON GRAB YOUR FRIENDS
    WE'LL GO TO VERY DISTANT LANDS
    WITH JAKE THE DOG
    AND FINN THE HUMAN
    THE FUN'LL NEVER END
    IT'S ADVENTURE TIME!

    THAT Adventure Time, Luci? :)

    ReplyDelete
  129. My friend says I obsess over Skulduggery Pleasant.

    I answer back, "I'm DEDICATED."

    ReplyDelete
  130. Derek: I drew this: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Anu1NS7_MTY/UIOu6eLE6tI/AAAAAAAAAG0/-XXHZpvVh90/s1600/Untitled+artwork+2012-10-21+(03.59.29-256+AM).jpg

    ReplyDelete
  131. TODAY STARTED OFF SO BAD AND ENDED SO GOOD. :)

    ReplyDelete
  132. I started quoting Dark Days in Honors English yesterday, we had a half day

    ReplyDelete
  133. OF COURSE THAT ADVENTURE TIME.

    ASDFGHJKL;

    I always think about AT when I'm talking to Sparxxxx. XD

    ReplyDelete
  134. Aaah....

    I think we lost Derek into his own world...

    CRAP THE NINJA PENGUINS GOT HIM

    ReplyDelete
  135. I started doing 'Gangnam Style' behind the principal in assembly today...

    I was coming back from the toilet, and the urge was too much, OKAY!?

    ReplyDelete
  136. This isn't from adventure time, but I must quote it.
    "Once I was doing stand up comedy, and nobody was laughing, so I did the only thing I could do, I started to sing. And do you know what they did?"
    "They laughed?"
    "No."

    ReplyDelete
  137. I had to 'Gangnam Style'!

    Yeah, I think so too Zaf...


    DEREK COME BACK. I HAVE WAFFLES.

    #################################

    ReplyDelete
  138. Derek, this is Kessie's Wattpad page.


    I AM A DISCIPLE OF THE GOLDEN GOD!!!!!!!(Derek Landy) I also like to consider myself a Whovian, but I really have not seen that many episodes. I am, however, a great China Sorrows and River Song fan, they would make a fantastic team.

    Awesome People:@EpicJDog(I preferred your old name),@Evermore_360,@pieisyummy1313,@BellatrixLestrange99,@ShaeLaKrazer,@Etcetera

    Favourite Wattpad authors:@ironkite@Dermit

    Favourite Authors: Derek Landy, Eoin Colfer, Pseudonymous Bosch, J. R. R. Tolkien(to be honest, I preferred "The Hobbit" to the "Lord of the Rings)>


    92% of girls would be dead if the Justin Bieber decided breathing wasn't cool. Put this on your profile if you are part of the 8% who would be cracking up! (i'm part of the 8%)


    90% of teens would cry if they saw Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) from Twilight standing on top of a skyscraper about to jump. If you're part of the 10% that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "Do a backflip you sparkly retard!" Then copy and paste this on to your profile.


    If I were in Skulduggery Pleasant my taken name would be Kestrel LeStarre and I'd be a Symbolist training under China. Unfortunately, she kicked me out, so I went to America and became the Administrator for the east coast American Sanctuary.

    I am addicted to smoothies. My favorite color is SPARKLY and ORANGE. I have one sister, and I love to read. I have been writing since I was about 6 or 7.

    I have a quibblo account under the name SP_Lover, a Pottermore under Scalesilver19818.


    PLEASE read my story "Not Your Average Vampire" and tell me what u think. Seriously, u dont have to be nice....



    Best quote ever: Don't worry. We have surprise on our side, and a deliberate tendency towards extrem violence. We'll be fine.

    If you know what that's from, then Kudos to you.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Everyone says I'm obsessed with SP. I don't know where they could've gotten THAT idea from... ;)

    It's not like I have over forty SP books or anything...and I totally don't know the Skulduggery books better than I know my French&Spanish exams...^^

    ReplyDelete
  140. I remember a time when everyone was walking around saying thanks captain obvious, your welcome lutenant sarcasm. remember that? I sure do, good times, good times :D

    ReplyDelete
  141. It's a real thing..
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_QJEGY-6O-W4/R7yyIHMa-JI/AAAAAAAAAGc/-8xxUW3SZfE/s320/Ocake+paffles!+034.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  142. I should check for the mail....I need to go run in circles AH WELL

    ReplyDelete
  143. the way that person reviewed, it sounded like he's never actually read the rest of the series.

    ReplyDelete
  144. I was trying to find the reviews Derek talked about, but couldn't find them.

    ReplyDelete
  145. DEREK!!! Please don't disappear.


    *sobs uncontrollably in the corner*

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  146. *curls up in closet obbing*

    derek....please come back we love you! We love our master

    ReplyDelete
  147. Derek, if you're still here, Emerald Melody says hello!:3

    ReplyDelete
  148. Are you serious? Derek comes on while I'm in French class and when I get back on he's not here?!?

    ReplyDelete
  149. bye guys Ive g2g :( but I will hopefully be back ! and derek if your still on BYE! and live long and prosper and may the force be with you ! :D

    ReplyDelete
  150. DEREK, see, SEV wants you to be here! SO COME ON AND STOP LAUGHING AT US. I know you are... somehow.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Melica- I don't know anyone who doesn't like the Scottish accent. Seriously.

    And um, no, I don't watch How I Met Your Mother. Some bots are wonderful and it has a great cast, but... I dunno. I'm more of an Arrested Development fan.

    Kribu- that's a good philosophy, but I understand the feeling. You want to grab the person and say "No, you don't understand, here's why I like it, here's why it's good, and if you only saw it through my eyes you'd realise how wrong you are..."

    Georgina, you're one of the original Skulduggery fans and as such you'll always have a very special place in my heart.

    As for the videos, I'm sure they'll get online in a few hours! No need to go to all that trouble!

    Zaf- which Jekyll and Hyde are you referring to? I haven't seen any of the modern ones- but the old black and white is a classic...

    Luciana- Mortal Coil makes Chinith shippable? I like the way you think! As for Adventure Time... um.. no... I'm too busy writing!

    Vlaedr- I'd love to visit South Africa. Now if only my publisher would arrange it...

    Mara, I don't have a Wattpad account, no. I'm not even entirely sure what it is. It may be something you made up, though. You better watch out for things like that.

    And that is disturbing about the Mastermind thing! Even my MOTHER deleted hers!

    Thrust- that ROCKS!

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  152. Derek, do you have many different files for your books when you work on them? If so how are they orginised.

    Okay...
    *looks awkwardly around at everybody else somehow managing to get on perfectly fine with Derek here whereas I am wondering what to do with myself. I should probably do something. Not act like if melting... Yes. That's what I'll do. Act crazy casual, as if Derek being on is the most normal thing.*


























    *throws Derek into giraffe pit*

    ReplyDelete
  153. Uhhhhh.... ugggghhhhh....... dammmittt....


    *tries to touch nose with tongue*

    ReplyDelete