Ladies and gentlemen...
"The Butterfly and the Wolf" is now available to read on the home page of skulduggerypleasant.com.
Consume.
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About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
4,840 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1001 – 1200 of 4840 Newer› Newest»I have to go now play LOTS of card games. Farewell. Have fun. Cheers. Yours in eternity... etcetera.
*laughs at me and Nix being one step behind each other*
S says x
N say y
S says y
N say x
Or summat like that!
I'm invisible!
*smiles at emergency bananas and gently places mines around them*
Fours Helena!
50%
Hi Eve!
Sorry, thought you were her the whole time. Just remembered you said you left.
Bye Helena!
Star....what?
I WAS here the whole time! I was invisible!
Bye Helena!
I have to leave at eight o'clock, people. *points to one-minute-slow blogclock*
I noticed that, Star. Lol. :P
I do too, if you're going by that clock.
Bye Helena!
I don't know when your eight o'clock is
I am S, Eve. Nix is N. x and y are subsitutes for 'something' and 'something else'
Algebra:)
40 minutes from now Eve
Algebra... *ugh, panda*
Where in England do you live, Star? What city?
*sighs and jabs finger at blogclock* Yes, you do, Eve.
. . . Although I isn't really one minute slow, more like 40 minutes slow. 75% of a minute, 3/4 of minute.
Just finished the excerpt! It was so cool! And hilarious!
And Nix, I read that you weren't going to, but I'm glad you're still going to continue your fan fic(or whatever it's called now) for it. :)
My nearest city is Hull.
Sorry, not for. *about
Yeah, my werewolves and Derek's clash, but techniqually, I realsed them first, so...
You mean seconds, right Star?
*points at the 40 minutes, etc, comment*
Um, yes, Lavender. Sorry.
Yeah, well. Yeah. Your idea about them are still cool though.
Hey, will you put werewolves in yours and Mist's story?
That's okay, Star. :)
@Nix
I mean, will you consider it?
Rockclimbing was fun last night . . . :)
BLOOD! *scuttles off a metre*
*laughs*
I like rockclimbing. I'm pretty good at it. And um, blood?
Well, I don't know. I doubt it
My werewolf thing, after I finish it, won't be related to anything because it's now wrong. In the real SP, it says they're extinct, except for the one who happened to have the bloodline. Bringing them back in Nix and Mist would be disagreeing with the orignal story line, so I don't see how we can...
MY story has no werewolves, vampires, blahdy blah blah blah. Just the kildera and . . . The things I hasn't got a name for yet.
Oh. Okay. Yeah, it might not be a good idea then.
Rebellion, that is.
It was a thing from Rockclimbing, Lav. Anyone say blood, I move. *jumps back a few steps*
I like rockclimbing. Do they have the NICAS system in America? National Indoor Climbing Award Scheme? Coz I'm up to level three. But our usual instructor Max has deemed me worthy of lead climbing. He doesn't make everyone wait till their Level Four.
Hmm . . . If I head off now, then when I come back I'll be here till about half eight . . .
Bye guys. Bbs.
Bye Star!
Oh. I'm not sure. They have indoor climbing, but maybe it's only in the UK. After all, it's a national thing, not a world wide thing. Maybe it's only for the UK nation.
But then again, I could be wrong. I haven't been to a rockclimbing place(in America, I've been to one in Korea) in so long. I forgot a little.
Bye Star! Might see you soon. Maybe.
Just that I gtg in less than 20 mins.
Back!
Wow, actually caught up on all the posts on my dashboard. And now on to starting a post myself.
WB Star
Wb Star. :)
*hits head* Oh, NATIONAL Indoor Climbing Awatr Scheme! I am so stupid!
You know when you're so used to something you don't look at it closely anymore . . .
I know the feeling, Star. Happens to me too sometimes.
Gtg in 6 minutes...
I'll come on later, though. :) Or at least, try to.
I won't be HERE later. I'm leaving at about half eight and won't be back till about twelve.
If you mean 12PM, maybe I'll be here. That's four hours from now so it'll be about 8PM here.
Speaking of time, I gtg now. Bye!
Bye Lavender!
Er, I meant, twelve noon.
Bye Lav!
I found this...
Mental Hospital Phone Menu:
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Just to tell you, if you have read every word so far it means that you definitely ARE crazy or weird, and you should DEFINITELY put at least those ones on your profile.
*laughs*
That's hilarious, Nix! Cruel, but hilarious!
I also found this, the internet is a weird place
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading #1, will try it.
3. And discover that #1 is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will show this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel . . . of course it's usually the oncoming train
Some say the glass is half-full, others say it's half-empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
*laughs* So true!
*laughs*
All my comments are staring with *laughs* . . .
Coz I'm laughing . . .
Where am I getting this stuff?
DAMMIT!
Gtg:( Fours.
Hahahahahaha! To that and also these pranks I'm watching. In the movie The Ring there's this little girl with her long black hair in front of her face all the time. The pranks are really funny. xD
Bye Star!
Bye Star!
Say the word 'cow' before each word:
--Cows
--About
--Talking
--Idiot
--This
--Got
--I
--Long
--How
--Look
Now say the word 'cow' after each word:
Cows--
About--
Talking--
Idiot--
This--
Got--
I--
Long--
How--
Look--
Now say the word 'cow' before and after each word:
--Cows--
--About--
--Talking--
--Idiot--
--This--
--Got--
--I--
--Long--
--How--
--Look-
Now read from the bottom up:
Cows
About
Talking
Idiot
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look
The Evening News is where they begin with 'Good Evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in latin, and 'tics' as in 'blood-sucking creatures'?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, redifine success. Success = Failure!
When life hands you lemons, chuck them back at the guy who was demented enough to give them to you.
Flying is simple. Just chuck yourself at the floor and miss.
Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
*laughs*
i like what you found Nix!
hi everyone!
*has doubled over with laughter*
If your 11th birthday was the worst because you didnt get a letter to Hogwarts, copy and paste this to your profile.
Hi Miss Cain!
Oh, I am so using this line one day
(it's my line. Please no one else use it)
I'm here because Heaven didn't want me, and Hell thought I would take over.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come
Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it
*is now on the ground laughing*
*stops*
dammit, i didnt get a letter from Hogwarts
*shrugs and goes back to laughing*
brb
The flying one is the funniest
okay Nix!
my fav is the elevator one
*writes down the elevator ones*
for future reference
I'm struggling to find more
im re-reading chapter 1
so i can laugh more
Things to Ponder:
Why isn't "Palindrome" spelled the same back backwards and forwards?
If all the world is a stage, then where is the audience sitting?
Is a laughing stock cattle with a sense of humor?
What happens when none of your bees wax?
If Walmart is lowering prices daily, then how come none of it is free yet?
Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
When someone says "you know what they say..." Who are they?
If I break the laws of physics do I go to jail?
Why do slow down and slow up mean the same thing?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Anyone who says nothings imposible has never tried slamming a revolving door
I'm not random. You just can't think as fast as I do.
Green means go. Yellow means slow down and red means stop. Please note that this does not apply to bannas. Yellow means go. Green means stop and red mean where on earth have you been to get a red banana?
Parents spend the first part of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. The second half is teaching them to sit down and shut up
We're not retreating...we are simply advancing in another direction.
*is on floor laughing*
i havent gone to read chapter 1 and im already laughing
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you,
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
I HAVE to dress up as Samara and scare the crap out of everyone one day
79 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. including this one.
Some of my current goals in life are to attend Hogwarts, rule Narnia, and be claimed by a greek god.
*is laughing like hell*
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
go ask the blind man, he saw it too.
*frowns*
blind man saw, deaf policeman heard....
*goes back to laughing*
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
what is considered normal, when everyone is different?
I've heard some of these
That's all I've got for now...
what do people have against small elephants??
Me a while ago: Drew their swords and shot each other - its funny coz it doesn't make sense
Little brother: Sure it does. They were holding guns while they drew their swords. Didn't you learn enough about Dual Wielding in Skyrim?
Me: *mutters* Leave it to you to find logic in everything
logic is annoying
just like reality
I heard of that can't lick your teeth wig your tongue thing. except it was can't stick your tongue out an look up at the same time.
Distant. Hi. :)
*with
Sorry. On iPod.
hi Lav!
Hi Lav!
Hello.
I find it funny that even though I'm in Korea, I'm surrounded by Japanese people. It's just that they live in the building too. It's cool though, cause then I can learn two languages. :P
thats cool
i know Japanese
I only know very little. Well, I can understand what they say sometimes, but can't speak it.
im good at reading Japanese
thats my specialty
Be right back.
Hi Lav!
Oh my god I want to do this SO bad...but I need the right dress. And a black wig that won't come off easily
oki doki Lav!
hehe
going as Samara would freak the hell out of alot of people
Oh cool. Some people are doing a matrial arts thing for the celebration. Going to record it.
After that, I probably have to go again, so I'll just say bye now.
Be back later. Bye!
please do record it!
bye Lav!
Bye Lav!
I'm going to go now
Bye!
bye Nix!
hi Finneta!
Has anyone seen Zaf?
I was called away on business last night and I couldn't catch him.
The bugger blew up the Irish Sanctuary last night!!
hi Emerald!
Heya Miss Cain.
I'm on a revenge mission at the moment.
I don't think Zaf realized that there were some Iriminions on last night when he blew up the Irish Sanctuary
no, havent seen Zaf
blew up the Irish Sanctuary?!
If you go one page back in the comments, you'll see that he blew up the Irish Sanctuary and then cowered when he realized that I was on.
*reads message*
Skul's gonna hunt her down and kill her
brb
Never mind Skul, I'm a bit annoyed.
Never annoy an Irish werewolf.
back
I hate going away. It means I miss Blog Posts.
*eyes the previous Blog post, which she'll never be able to comment on, now*
Well, there's a couple of places that I MAY manage to visit... *looks hopeful*
And now, *disappears to read 'The Butterfly and The Wolf*
hi Taia!
its a good chapter
which i might re-re-read
ive already read it twice
i dont think Zaf will be able to be on the run for long
Damn straight.
I think we should all corner her.
She did blow up the Irish Sanctuary... again. Like we don't need that kinda stress lol
i think if she blows up the Australian Sanctuary, Nix would jump for joy
which is an odd thing for Nix
I brew a hole from this reality to the mortal world and killed a ton of mortals... *evil grin*
hmm
do you want to do a role play??
DIE MORTALS!!
well done Val
and hi
bye Val!
i was up till 3am last night/this morning
Vals comments keep disappearing..
>.<
*grins*
Butterflies and Wolves.
I love that.
Now, I must restrain myself from re-reading that chapter...
One thing I don't like about being in a performance is not eating when dinner is called. I'm hungry and dinner was called. I have to stay till we finish. It's the last night before the performance and we're doing a dress rehearsal whih I making us hot cause we're dancing.
Hi. Wbd and Msd.
hi Lav and Taia!
Hi Lavender! *waves*
Hi Miss Cain! *waves*
Taia, ive already re-read it
Hi. I'm recording a little of the dress rehearsal so that's why I'm distant. But hi. :)
Awesome, Miss Cain.
I'm trying not to re-read it - I don't want to know it too well when I get the book, see.
*nods*
Oh and I Msd cause either my battery dies or it's my turn to go and practice.
I agree Taia. I did that with a book, got bored of the beginning(which I read a lot as a sample). That made me have less to read when I got the whole book.
Okay, Lavender.
Actually that goes for me, too.
I only have 19% of laptop battery left, and haven't a clue where the charger is...
So, If I disappear, that's why.
Okay Taia.
okay Taia
im awaiting emails for the 10x awesome comp...
Yay! We're finished! Going to eat dinner now. Bye!
*is refreshing email once again*
nup, nothing
even though they will probably send out the emails around out next week
bye Lav!
Bye Lavender!
I hope you get the email soon, Miss Cain.
I didn't enter in the end. I couldn't write a short enough piece. :P
yeah, on the website it says that they had heaps of entries and will announce them next week or so
*sighs*
i hate waiting
I hate waiting, too.
It uses up so much time...
*glares at clock*
you take too long...
Jusr watched The Ring. The song is stuck.
Stuck.
Next up: The Grudge. I'm watching that soon
Round we go,
The world is spinning,
When it stops,
It's just beginning,
Sun comes up,
We live and we cry,
Sun goes down,
And then we all die...
Okay, so there's this video I think you should watch.... ;)
what video?
THE CURSED VIDEO. IF YOU WATCH IT YOU WILL DIE SEVEN DAYS LATER
:O
So. Wanna watch it? :D
ummm, not really
1
I thought not
*goes looking for someone else to curse*
Back from dinner. But only here for a little. On a computer.
HI PEOPLE!
Nix made me laugh. A lot:)
Hi Star! Nice timing. :)
I'm only here for a little while. After being made to get up EARLY on a SATURDAY, then get driven to the boringest place ever, gotade to stay in the boringest place ever, and got driven back again (all of which took three and a half hours), and then it was lunchtime immediately after that, and then as I was finishing my lunch, I got told we were giing out again, like, soon . . . Urgh. Dunno where I'm going with this.
But ANYWAYS, the weekend after next after next, my friend has a birthday party, but I can't go coz I have to go to this boring boring concert that I don't want to go to. The concert's in BIRMINGHAM and we set off for it at NINE IN THE MORNING and don't get back till EIGHT AT NIGHT.
Hi Lavender. *mutters grumpliy about Birmingham*
I got an email kinda like that one with the lick all your teeth thing. The only difference is it's saying you can't stick your tongue out and look up at the same time.
I did all 6 things. :P Did it with my friend and I was still laughing at the end.
You had to go there today?
What? Birmingham? No. Birmingham's HOURS away. I had to go to Beverly today. Berverly's about half an hour away.
Oh, okay. So why are you grumpy about Birmingham?
*wonders when Sparky'll pop by again* She can't be here for a bit ONCE amd call it BACK. She might come on tomorrow? I haven't spoken to her yet.
Yeah, I was wondering the same thing.
¡Hola!
Hi Phoenix!
Because my friend's having a birthday party when I'm in Birmingham.
And I WANT to go to her b-day party. I don't WANT to go to Birmingham.
As soon as I can, I'm quitting this string prchestra thingy. I already go to the school string orchestra, so I don't see why I should have to go to this one as well. This one isn't even FUN. I ENJOY the school one. This one's just BORING.
I think I need to take up something else before I can ask to quit though . . .
Hey Phoenix!
Hi Star, hi Lavender! Como estas?
Is that Spanish? Because I'm pretty good at German and I'm terrible at French, but I never learnt Spanish.
*growls*
I will destroy you all
Watxhing The Grudge, so slow commenter
The little boy reminds me of this girl i know who thinks she's a cat.
"Meow", she says
Hi Nix! Why?
Yes, it's "How are you?" in Spanish. If you were to say "Very good." The proper response would be Mui Bien.
Provided I'm spelling that right.
Hi Nix, hi Evetyrtcat!
sorry... Cat was on keyboard.
Hi Nix, hi Eve!
@Phoenix
I'm not sure how to say it in spanish, so I'm good. Thanks. :)
Sorry, but I gtg now. See ya tomorrow! But- well, tomorrow's the celebration so, I might not. I'll see if I can. Bye!
Hey Nix, Eve!
I don't care if you were here all along or not, I'm heying you anyway.
Bye Lav!
Bye! I won't be in the house tomorrow until the afternoon, but I might see you then! Bye!
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