London had Justin Bieber turning on its city's lights. Dublin had Michael Buble. And who did my neighbouring village Donabate have to turn on THEIR Christmas lights last Saturday evening? Why, they just had international superstar author Derek Landy drop by to ROCK. THEIR. WORLD.
And verily, their world was indeed rocked.
I was surrounded at all times by a pack of chattering girls, led by my very good friend Molly, whom I had met at the Twilight premiere a few weeks ago. 'Tis a small world indeed. A small, odd world. Filled with small, odd girls, who wouldn't stop talking.
But that's not why I'm here to talk to you today. Specifically, you people with the funny accents. Even more specifically, you people with the funny accents from Australia and New Zealand. I am here to tell YOU people that, good Lordy, we are running ANOTHER create-a-character competition just for you- because I am a kind and gracious Golden God.
I wasn't planning on running another competition quite so soon, but after talking to my publishers I decided to squeeze one last contest into the final few weeks of 2011, and it's all to do with The End Of The World, which is being published in Ireland and the UK in March as part of World Book Day. Now, I'm sure all of you know just how much I love synchronicity, how much I love releasing books at the same time across the world, so we have arranged for TEOTW to be released in Australia and New Zealand at the same time, and it was decided that it should include a brand new and exclusive short story featuring two characters that you guys will have to come up with.
But I digress.
The competition! The deadline is tight, my Australiminions, my New Zeali...minions.... (I'm not sure that works... ahem...). The deadline is 11.59 PM on New Year's Eve in whatever Time Zone you happen to be in, and not a second after!
Because we have this tight schedule, I'm going to give you a few pointers which might improve your chances of winning- pointers which look a lot like ten rules you MUST OBEY.
RULES
1. Readers from Australia- I need a female character from you lot. Readers from New Zealand- I need a male character from you.
2. There will be ONE winner from each country.
3. Be practical when giving them their powers. I couldn't use some FANTASTIC characters from the other competitions because their powers would either have needed some heavy-duty explanation, or the characters were just TOO DAMN POWERFUL.
Restrict yourselves to a discipline of magic we've already seen in the books. Don't make your character someone who can do both Elemental and Adept magic. Don't make your character half-unicorn. Don't make your character Skulduggery's long lost brother. Who is also half-unicorn. Who can do both Elemental and Adept magic.
Be practical!
4. Post your entries HERE, in the Comments Section, which is now off-limits to everyone else! (The Blog entry accompanying this one will be for the usual chatter.)
5. You can post as many times as you want.
6. Before your entry, write this: "I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full rights to take this character and adapt it into his brain-explodingly brilliant work."
7. Understand that I might have to tweak your character in order to get the best fit for the story.
8. I can't think of an eighth rule.
9. Oh, oh! I thought of one!
10. Bring me... a shrubbery.
4,849 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2001 – 2200 of 4849 Newer› Newest»Well not really :P
I'm too bored to stay away for long.
Damn I didn't even make 10 minutes.
Oh wells.
What is a syntax error anyway?
More importantly do they taste good?
And can you crawl inside them and build a pillow fort?
And are they a convert of yellow?
Can you turn one into a fish?
So many questions about syntax errors.
Very specific ones too. That only make sense when applied to syntax errors.
*smiles convincingly*
*smile starts to slip a little*
*hoists the smile back up and firmly attaches it to my face with a stapler*
*wipes away the dribble of blood*
Ultra convincing.
*swims after a dolphin*
This is so cool. We've found a hiding place on the internet.
A virtual hidey hole.
A gap to comment in, hidden between the posts that have been filled with 5000 comments.
It'll be oodles of fun!
*starts to sing*
I don't know what you mean when you say.
Please explain what is DFTBA?
A very happy unbirthday. To you.
WOOOOOOOO MY CRASHCOURSE MONGOL T-SHIRT ARRIVED TODAY!
THE HILLS ARE ALIVE!
*panics*
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Happy May everyone!
*shlumps*
Poor Borfin.
NERDFIGHTERS!
HOLY MUSICAL B@MAN
SPOON!
EARS!
*sigh*
no one remenbered that if the other comments sections are finished, they could always find another one to keep on chatting on it.no one remenbered about it except me. *grumbles*
heck! i could run around naked and nobody would notice.
*doing some more grumbleing*
i wonder how does anyone knows when is the first comment in the next page.....
yeah! got a new profile pic!
which one looks more nicer?hmmm.....
got a new pic. i wonder which one look better.....
cant decide between which pic to have. here's a new pic.LOL
back again. cant stay because i'm just giving my self a tiny break from all that tests and stuff. i acturally realise that i'm talking to nobody but.... heck, i dont mind. i'm just hoping that derek could start to post now.
we're waiting, derek.......
come on.....
hurry up and post a new piece derek or else!.......
i'm just kidding. LOL!
hope you dont mind.......
oh, i need to go back to studying now. my timer has announced to start again. ohh, i'm sooooo nervous about tomorrow. got a very hard test and also is in the morning. even though that i already used up a heap of energy to day running for 2km. i only stoped for 5 mins and walked, the rest was running. i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nervous about the test tomorrow. it'll mean everthing to me if i made it in. but it's going to be hard. many things in life is hard. true. right. i need some ideas for a new chapter. because i cant think of any more stories to write about.
oh, i know that i'm talking to nobody and i'm also gambling but yeah........
right. *shoots an apple to the lemon tree.*
*rumbling*
*a whole bunch of squashed and not squashed lemons lying down in my neigboors' tree.*
*oops.....*
um...........
more gambling......
ok, this is getting nowhere. i should stop talking and get on with studying. yes *mumbles*, i should.
one last thing i think you should understand, is that gambling+me=awkuard....... and odd and yeah.........
but anyhow, those two dont mix but i do it anyway. because once i did somthing.......
oh dear, i'm gambling again, arent i? i really need to get on with studying. bye people(nobody). i'll start to type again in my next break.<3
Hello?
hello!
anyone there?
oh dear, i'm alone again aren't i?
oh...........
i'm back and sadly that there's no one here. i'll come back here tomorrow and hopefully that there will be someone i could chat to. because i'm very bored right now.
*neighboor's cat growling at me*
*throwing 6 tennis balls at him*
*all but 1 missed and the neighboor came out*
*oops....*
hi?
Greetings!
I abandoned you all!
My apologies!
There isn't a full 5000 comments on this one, interesting...
I know I have been trying to fill it though :P
Badger.
Add a smidge of honey.
And you get a honeybadger.
A fearsome creature.
Tis most dangerous indeed.
It is immune to snake venom.
And it brings down it's prey by ummm...
Emasculating them...
I'll let you look that up methinks.
Anyhoo.
The sparrow flies south for winter.
*chases the sparrow*
How far south exactly does the sparrow fly?
Also if the sparrow flew too far south it would start going north again.
I return!
I need to get the new page you see.
And frankly, I'm still annoyed that I never reached 5000 comments.
Because there is a sea of blogposts.
All at 5000 comments.
Except for this one.
So I am back.
Maybe Robin will come back too?
Who knows?
I'll ask her.
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ZERO!
FIRST!
That wasn't much of a surprise.
Anyway.
Time to dedicate.
I dedicate this page to Robin for helping me out with this and for not being a sheep.
I also dedicate to LSODM which will be out in about six weeks.
I also dedicate to marriage equality which has finally reached England and Wales! WOOHOO!
It will be arriving in Scotland shortly.
I don't dedicate this page to Northern Ireland because they have a government which is being a poop.
I can't just count down from 200 all the time though.
That would be boring.
I shall return soon.
With ideas.
And hopefully pasta.
So...
A few hundred comments later
And we'll be half way there :)
Who wants to hear a little poetry?
So to begin with...
I present...
The Owl and The Pussy Cat
by Edward Lear
*clears throat*
The owl and the pussy cat went to sea.
In a beautiful pea green boat.
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
'O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!
Pussy said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! Too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?'
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows.
And there in a wood, a Piggy-wig stood,
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.
Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?' Said the Piggy, 'I will.'
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.
Right that's quite enough of that.
How high can you count?
In Klingon?
I can't...
English however...
2
3
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10
Well done children!
I am hungry.
For cookies
and crumpets
and honey
and onion soup
and hot chocolate with cherry liquor
and root vegetables.
Nom nom nom
*smiles*
*creepily*
I wonder what the twitter situation is...
I like ellipses...
and interrobangs...
and muffins :)
Yeah.
Hey Derek!
Wanna buy a cat?
20% off!
It's a good deal!
I'll even throw in a potato!
For free!
Woop!
*sighs*
I like Game of Thrones...
THE RED WEDDING...
Tumblr exploded.
He's even worse at killing characters than you!
*looks over shoulder*
*a face looms out of the darkness*
I SEE YOU.
Hello!
So oysters...
The Walrus and the Carpenter...
Alice in Wonderland...
OK...
Four awesome films...
Stardust.
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