London had Justin Bieber turning on its city's lights. Dublin had Michael Buble. And who did my neighbouring village Donabate have to turn on THEIR Christmas lights last Saturday evening? Why, they just had international superstar author Derek Landy drop by to ROCK. THEIR. WORLD.
And verily, their world was indeed rocked.
I was surrounded at all times by a pack of chattering girls, led by my very good friend Molly, whom I had met at the Twilight premiere a few weeks ago. 'Tis a small world indeed. A small, odd world. Filled with small, odd girls, who wouldn't stop talking.
But that's not why I'm here to talk to you today. Specifically, you people with the funny accents. Even more specifically, you people with the funny accents from Australia and New Zealand. I am here to tell YOU people that, good Lordy, we are running ANOTHER create-a-character competition just for you- because I am a kind and gracious Golden God.
I wasn't planning on running another competition quite so soon, but after talking to my publishers I decided to squeeze one last contest into the final few weeks of 2011, and it's all to do with The End Of The World, which is being published in Ireland and the UK in March as part of World Book Day. Now, I'm sure all of you know just how much I love synchronicity, how much I love releasing books at the same time across the world, so we have arranged for TEOTW to be released in Australia and New Zealand at the same time, and it was decided that it should include a brand new and exclusive short story featuring two characters that you guys will have to come up with.
But I digress.
The competition! The deadline is tight, my Australiminions, my New Zeali...minions.... (I'm not sure that works... ahem...). The deadline is 11.59 PM on New Year's Eve in whatever Time Zone you happen to be in, and not a second after!
Because we have this tight schedule, I'm going to give you a few pointers which might improve your chances of winning- pointers which look a lot like ten rules you MUST OBEY.
RULES
1. Readers from Australia- I need a female character from you lot. Readers from New Zealand- I need a male character from you.
2. There will be ONE winner from each country.
3. Be practical when giving them their powers. I couldn't use some FANTASTIC characters from the other competitions because their powers would either have needed some heavy-duty explanation, or the characters were just TOO DAMN POWERFUL.
Restrict yourselves to a discipline of magic we've already seen in the books. Don't make your character someone who can do both Elemental and Adept magic. Don't make your character half-unicorn. Don't make your character Skulduggery's long lost brother. Who is also half-unicorn. Who can do both Elemental and Adept magic.
Be practical!
4. Post your entries HERE, in the Comments Section, which is now off-limits to everyone else! (The Blog entry accompanying this one will be for the usual chatter.)
5. You can post as many times as you want.
6. Before your entry, write this: "I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full rights to take this character and adapt it into his brain-explodingly brilliant work."
7. Understand that I might have to tweak your character in order to get the best fit for the story.
8. I can't think of an eighth rule.
9. Oh, oh! I thought of one!
10. Bring me... a shrubbery.
4,849 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1801 – 2000 of 4849 Newer› Newest»1875
Matthew Webb becomes the first person to swim the English Channel.
1876
Colorado admitted as the 38th U.S state.
First successful telephone call.
1877
Deimos and Phobos- the two moons of Mars discovered.
1878
Death of the last confirmed Cape Lion
1879
Albert Einstein born.
Tay Bridge Dusaster
Pirates of Penzance first performed.
1880
Cocaine isolated
1881
Gunfight at the O.K Corral
1882
A.A Milne and Franklin Roosevelt born.
1883
Last Quagga dies.
Oxygen liquified for the first time.
1884
Mark Twain publishes The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
1885
Louis Pasteur successfully tests his vaccine against rabies.
1886
Burma is presented to Queen Victoria as a birthday gift
*snorts*
Happy Birthday! We bought you this nice country of Burma. I hope you like it as its non refundable.
Coca cola invented
President Cleveland dedicates the Statue of Liberty
1887
Eiffel Tower built.
1888
Vincent Van Gogh cuts off part of his left ear.
1889
North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana and Washington are admitted as the 39th, 40th, 41st and 42nd states of the U.S respectively.
1890
Idaho and Wyoming are admitted as the 43rd and 44th U.S states.
1891
Nikolai Tesla invents the Tesla coil.
1892
Viruses are discovered.
1893
U.S Congress legally declare the tomato to be a vegetable.
1894
Dreyfus Affair
1895
X-Rays discovered
1896
Utah admitted as the 45th U.S state
1897
J.J Thompson discovers the electron.
1898
Radium discovered.
1899
Riro, the last king of Easter Island dies.
1900
First hamburger created.
1901
First Nobel Prize awarded.
1902
First Aswan Dam completed.
1903
First heavier than air flight
First box of Crayola crayons made
1904
Firstunderground line of the NYC Subway opens.
1905
Wolves become extinct in Japan
1906
Richard Oldham argues that the Earth has a molten interior
1907
Korea becomes a protectorate of Japan
1908
First fully animated film
1909
City of Tel Aviv founded.
1910
Vatican introduces a compulsory law against modernism.
1911
Machu Picchu rediscovered by Hiram Bingham.
1912
Sinking of the Titanic
*sulks*
Stupid Wikipedia.
It doesn't have the last 5 states in the year pages.
1907- Oklahoma admitted as 46th U.S state
1912- New Mexico and later Arizona admitted as 47th and 48th U.S states
1959- Alaska and Hawaii admitted as 49th and 50th U.S states.
Bye everyone!
Hi
Hello! People of the Blogland!
*waits for another conciousness to talk to*
*resorts to talking to penguins*
How nice to see you Sir Penguin of The Black Flipper!
Prithee speaketh to me so that mine boredom canst be allieveatedeth.
Verily! Verily forsooth!
I must abandon ye penguin and go read Two Girls One Snail.
Tis a most excellent fanfic.
READ IT! READ IT! READ IT!
We only make mistakes up in our heads
Imagination is more important than knowledge
Doors are for people with no imagination
To die would be a great adventure
We believe in selfless acts of bravery that drives one person to stand up for another
We believe in selfless acts of bravery that drives one person to stand up for another
(I'm sorry I haven't been on much Octa! I'm dying under exams -.-)
These are quotes from my head so maybe slightly misquoted
If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree then it will live its whole life believing it was stupid
We're all dealing with the same hell; just different levels
Different demons; but the same devils
Fire is catching and if we burn, you burn with us
Darkness does not always equate to evil, just as the light does not always bring good
In a room sit three men, a king, a priest, and a rich man. Between them stands a sellsword of common birth and no great mind and no. Each of the great ones bids him slay the other two. So tell me, who lives and who dies?
Power resides where men believe it resides.
And a very small man can cast a very large shadow
time to go!
50 points to whoever can tell me the names of the authors who wrote those!
It's cool Robin. I have a whole load of exams coming up. Doubt I'll be on much in may.
Umm....
Doors are for people with no imagination-Derek Landy
Fire is catching and if we burn you burn with us. Suzanne Collins.
Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever for one moment, accepts it.
Because I've seen him. And he's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm and the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the center of time and he can see the turn of the Universe... And he's wonderful"
"Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many."
Oh, big, big mistake. Really huge. Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap. If you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never, ever put in a trap. Me.
The writing - the graffiti - Old High Gallifreyan... the lost language of The Timelords. There were days, there were many days, these words could burn stars, and raise up empires, and topple gods.
"You are a perfect example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain."
There is no indignity in being afraid to die, but there is a terrible shame in being afraid to live.
I don't believe that man was made to be controlled by machines. Machines can make laws, but they can not preserve justice. Only human beings can do that.
We're always in trouble! Isn't this extraordinary - it follows us everywhere!
Our lives are important — at least to us — and as we see, so we learn... Our destiny is in the stars, so let's go and search for it.
Professor Dortmun: Two more pairs of hands! Good. David Campbell: [Pointing to Barbara.] She says she can cook! Professor Dortmun: Can you? Barbara nods. David Campbell: [Addressing Susan] And what do YOU do? Susan: I eat.
Dalek: I warn you! Resistance is useless!
The Doctor: Resistance is useless? Surely you don't expect ALL the people to welcome you with open arms?
Ian: Doctor, you're a genius!
The Doctor: Yes, there are very few of us left. Now let's get out of here, and be crafty!
That is the dematerializing control. And that, over yonder, is the horizontal hold. Up there is the scanner, those are the doors, that is a chair with a panda on it. Sheer poetry, dear boy! Now please stop bothering me.
The Doctor: What do you think of that, now, eh? A Viking helmet. Steven Taylor: Maybe.
The Doctor: What do you mean, "maybe"? What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?
The Doctor [bristling when a policeman asks if he is a British citizen]: Your ideas are too narrow, too crippled. I am a citizen of the universe, and a gentleman to boot!
Jano: Do you not realize that all progress is based on exploitation? The Doctor: That, sir, is protracted murder!
Polly: Don't you care?! Cyberman: Care? No. Why should I care? Polly: Because they're people and they are going to die! Cyberman: I do not understand you; there are people dying all over your world, and you do not care about them.
Not allowed? Not allowed! Me, I'm allowed everywhere.
The Doctor: Zaroff, I think you ought to know the sea has broken through and is about to overwhelm us here.
Zaroff: Don't listen to him. The man lies.
The Doctor: Then perhaps the distant roaring that we can hear is just the goddess Amdo with indigestion.
The Doctor: I am not a student of human nature. I am a professor of a far wider academy of which human nature is merely a part.
Heyy?
SHAKUGAN NO SHANA
The time has come, I have a confession to make:
I am...
Obsessed with Japanese animes
And 5 points to Octaboona!
Hmm I may have to take this first from you Octa
It's nearly time for insurgent I'm so excited
My birthday is in 9 days YAY
15 is a good age to be I reckon
I prefer odd numbers, how bout you Octa?
SHAKUGAN NO SHANA
Watch them
*russian accent*
But once you start you be able to stop.
How long do you reckon a book is?
I'm at 11,500 words and I'm aiming for 15,000 so it should end up somewhere around 45,000 words reckon that's enough?
*nods* I think it is
I GOT TWO A'S AND AN A* IN SCIENCE
*victory dance*
BUT
I'm resitting the As apparently of my own freewill
Is it a bad thing to make a character cry? Like the strong one?
No. Let's not.
This is difficult
I'm finding it difficult to host a conversation with my self
Ah
*brushes of the normal*
It almost got me
*poses* but I will never surrender
My hair colour, stolen *growls*
D
E
R
E
K
L
N
D
I
W
E
O
E
!
1st
Oh my gosh what a surprise
DEDICATION:
Octaboona
For being the only other person who filled up this blog a lot! And for having a mind of his own.
Goodbye kids!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY STREAK!
AND ALSO MY STEAK!
BOTH LOST!
Ah well.
I should come here more often is all.
That and stop hiding my steaks in my dog.
If I had a dog that is.
Which I don't.
*pokes Robin*
Thanks for the dedication though :)
*hums*
I feel like a song coming on.
YAAAAAAAAAY!
This is good news. Excellent news.
As an aspiring song writer it is important not to just come up with lyrics but also with a tune.
Alas I sadly lack that ability.
BUT I'VE JUST COME UP WITH MY VERY OWN TUNE AND IM HAPPY!
Oooooh a chorus!
I HAVE A CHORUS!
This hot chocolate is like drinknig a brew made of the fiery pits of hell themselves.
SOOOOO HOT!
Hmm.... I must go do research for my song.
Once a Phyllis
Always a Phyllis
A Phyllis she will be
Once a Phyllis
Always a Phyllis
A Phyllis she will be
YAY LOOK AT MY CHORUS :D
Hmm.... now for the verses
Well I shall do those later.
I have the first line anyway.
EXCITEMENT!
Hmm.... I shall now proceed to converse with my self.
In order to distinguish my self from myself I shall call myself Octa 1 and myself Octa 2.
Or perhaps Octa A and Octa B
Octa Alpha and Beta?
Aleph and Bet?
Octa I and II?
Maybe I should go with Octa the First and Octa the Second
Octa the First: Who cares? Just pick one already.
Octa II: No this needs deliberation and careful thought.
Octa the First: ...
Octa II: ...?
WHY DON'T ALL THE MINI OCTA'S MERGE INTO A SUPER OCTA?
I AM OCTABOONA AMBROSIUS-PURPLE POET AND PARAGON OF THE HORDE OF IRIDESCENT INDIGO, GLINT OF THE MOON AND EMBER OF THE GLORIOUS SUN. MY NAMES ARE AS VARIED AS THE STARS IN THE HEAVENS AND THE DUST OF THE EARTH. A THOUSAND MYRIAD OF DISCIPLES WHISPER MY NAME IN TEMPLES AND SHRINES AND THE SACRED HOLY OF HOLIES. I AM KNOWN THROUGHOUT THE SCATTERED ISLES AND THE PEAKS OF THE SHINING SORROW. FROM SHORE TO SHORE I AM WORSHIPED AND LOVED AND FEARED.
I AM YOUR MASTER AND YOU WILL BELONG TO ME!
*coughs* Yeah that's why I don't let them all come together. They get all arrogant and suffer delusions of grandeur.
Poor things.
WE NEVER COME UP WITH GOOD IDEAS ON THE OTTER!
Bizzare fruits bizaaare fruits
Aprium Boquilaaaa Chokecherryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
So hungry.
*looks dreamily at the lunch*
Musn't eat raw chicken.
*watches it cook hungrily*
*babbles on about babbling*
Let's talk about etymology.
Etymology is awesome.
The awesomest ology of them all.
Tragedies = Songs of the Goat from the Greek Tragos meaning goat.
Ancient Athenian actors used to wear goatskin when they performed serious plays which is why the plays became known as tragedies.
Also science is shit etymologically speaking.
Shit comes from the Old Englidh word scitan which came from the Proto-Germanic skit which came from the Proto-Indo- European word shkei which means to separate (i.e. you separate yourself from your faeces).
But when shkei arrived in Italy if you could tell two things apart (separate them) then you knew them so the Latin word for know became scire. From that you get the Latin word scientia which means knowledge and from that we get science.
Therefore science = shit.
I
E
I
P
O
I
K
S
?
It sure is confusing though.
*hums*
So much to fill.
It is indeed a daunting task.
And a lonely one at that.
But I shall prevail.
With my good friend Robin.
*plods steadily along*
Need to say stuff.
Mmmmm.... stuff....
I am becoming a zombie.
BRAAAIIIIINS!
THE MIDDLE LAMELLAAAAAA!
AAAAAPEX!
THE CASPARIAN PATHWAAAAY!
ENDOPLASMIC RETICULUMMMMM!
SPONGY MESOPHYLLLLLL!
BIOLOGY HAS SOME AWESOME NAMES FOR STUFFFF!
I WILL NOM UPON YOUR MIDDLE LAMELLAAAA NOM NOM NOM *crunches*
This is fun. I should be a zombie more often.
I could befriend Thrasher and have tea.
PREPARE THE OSTEOBLASTS!
DUN DUN DUN!
NOOOO!
NOT THE OSTEOBLASTS!
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
DUN DUN DUN HONEY BADGER!
Ooooooh! *stares dreamily*
A Tardigrade.
Also known as a moss piglet.
Hehehe moss piglet.
GIVE ME AN M!
M!
GIVE ME AN OSS!
OSS!
GIVE ME A PIGLET!
PIGLET!
WHAT DO YOU GET?
MOSS PIGLET!
Spider moss piglet
Spider moss piglet
Does whatever a spider moss piglet does
Can he swing from a web
No he can't he's a moss piglet
Look out! Here comes the spider moss piglet.
Ten green moss piglets
Hanging on a wall
Ten green moss piglets
Hanging on a wall
And if one green moss piglet should accidently fall
There'll be nine green moss piglets
Hanging on a wall
MOSS PIGLETS FOR THE WIN!
FRENCH THE LLAMA THAT MOSS PIGLET IS INVINCIBLE!
I HAVE RUN OUT OF ENTHUSIASM FOR MOSS PIGLETS!
Let's talk about giraffes!
Or not!
My knowledge about giraffes is on a rather inappropriate topic.
*coughs*
*puts on a fez*
*prepares to exit*
Byeeeeeeeeeeee!
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