Monday, October 31, 2011

Trick Or Treat

Ladies and gentlemen, for your reading pleasure this Halloween evening, I give you a micro-story written with the invaluable help of our dear friend Thalia.

Before we begin, I'd just like to point out that the Friend-Gets-Friend competition is now officially CLOSED. I'll spend the next day or so compiling all the names of the people who took part, and then I'll pick ten random winners.

But for now, my Minions, here's Tanith and Billy-Ray, in Trick Or Treat.



Tanith wiped the blood off the carving knife and, ignoring the body of the man she had just stabbed to death, went back to carving her jack-o-lantern.

Her skill with a blade always came in useful this time of year. While other people would be satisfied with triangular eyes and jagged teeth, Tanith transformed her Halloween pumpkins into works of slowly-rotting art. Tonight, she was carving a portrait of her dear friend and object of worship Valkyrie Cain. By all accounts, poor Valkyrie still refused to embrace her destiny as destroyer of the world, but Tanith could forgive her this little bout of self-doubt. After all, if Tanith herself hadn’t been corrupted by a Remnant then she would have been helping Val run from the inevitable.

It was the Remnant inside her, the thing of cruelty and nastiness, that had shared with Tanith this vision of the future, when Valkyrie would become Darquesse and burn all life to a cinder. It had been a glorious revelation, one that had spurred Tanith on to schemes and plans she had never before thought herself capable. But the fact was there were no more Remnants out there. Her kith and kin were all trapped and locked away and hidden from her- so Tanith was on her own. More or less. She had a Texan psychopath who was besotted with her, and there were times when he certainly did come in useful. But she didn’t love him. Her love was reserved for Darquesse, and Darquesse alone.

She put down the carving knife and picked up a candle, placed it carefully inside the jack-o-lantern. She lit it and stepped back. It was a good likeness. No, it was a great likeness. Valkyrie was such a pretty girl, and Tanith had to resist the urge to take a picture and send it to her. But she knew that Valkyrie would only tell Skulduggery, and Skulduggery would trace the picture back here to this small town in Ohio, and suddenly there’d be Cleavers, Cleavers everywhere. It was all so unfair. All Tanith wanted to do was protect Darquesse from the people who were planning on harming her, after all. She was on Valkyrie’s side, in a way. Why couldn’t Val see that?

Headlights looped in around the room, and Tanith went to the window, looked out. A battered old car lurched to a stop outside the house next door, and a shabby middle-aged man climbed out. As she watched him hitch his trousers higher around his waist, Tanith made sure to keep her mind calm and free of violent thought. There were Sensitives who could pick up feelings of hostility, and while she didn’t know if Jerry Ordain was one of them, she couldn’t take the chance. There was too much riding on tonight to risk a stray thought at the wrong time. The fact that he came home at all meant that he hadn’t foreseen tonight’s events, and that was a promising start.

Of course, it was entirely possible that Jerry knew full well she was there, and he had a trap waiting for her the moment she made a move. But that was the trouble with Sensitives- it was very hard to sneak up on them.

She took her sword from the table and left through the back door. She sprung lightly over the fence, landed without a sound in Jerry’s yard as lights flicked on in the house. She crept to the window. No sign of an ambush. She saw Jerry ambling into the kitchenette. If he sensed her watching him, he gave no sign.

Taking a breath, Tanith moved to the door, and rested her hand against the lock. It clicked open and she moved in silently. Jerry was a bachelor, and lived like it. The house smelled of dust and old socks. She slid her sword from its scabbard and walked up the wall. Those floorboards were old and she didn’t trust them not to creak. She crept upside-down along the ceiling, careful not to disturb the bulb as she passed it or cast her shadow onto her target. Jerry had his back to her, and was making himself a massive sandwich. She reached the far wall and walked down until she was standing normally again. He still didn’t turn around. She took out her phone, sent a text. A few moments later, Billy-Ray Sanguine rose up from the floor beside her.

They waited for Jerry to sense the hostility that only a psychopath of Sanguine’s stature could muster- the kind of hostility that he could never conceal, no matter how hard he tried. Instead, Jerry continued making his sandwich. Tanith was impressed at how cool and collected he was. It was almost as if he wasn’t even aware of their presence. Jerry started humming to himself, and Sanguine looked at her. She frowned back. Now it really seemed like he wasn’t aware of their presence.

Once he had piled every conceivable type of meat onto his sandwich, Jerry cut off the crusts, and then sliced it down the middle. He picked up one half, raised it slowly to his mouth and bit into it as he turned. He saw them and shrieked, spitting it all out again as he stumbled back against the fridge. A bit of lettuce hung wetly off his chin.

“Hi,” said Tanith. “Just checking- you are Jerry Ordain, right?”

The man stood there, eyes bulging. “Whuh,” he said.

“Jerry Ordain? You are Jerry the psychic, aren’t you?”

He shook his head. The piece of lettuce fell away. “No. Not me. No. Wrong person.”

“Then who are you?” Sanguine asked.

The man gaped at him. “Me?”

It was Jerry. It was obviously Jerry, from the look on his face as his fear-frozen mind tried coming up with a false name. “I’m... I’m...”

Sanguine added an edge to his voice. “What’s your damn name?”

“Jerry!” Jerry blurted. “But not the Jerry you’re looking for! I’m a different Jerry!”

Jerry had to be the worst liar Tanith had ever met.

“I’ll get him, though,” Jerry said, stepping sideways. “If you stay right there I’ll get him. Just stay there. I’ll be right back, with Jerry. The Jerry you’re looking for.”

Sanguine strolled over to intercept him, and Jerry reversed direction, started heading for the window.

“Make yourselves at home,” he was saying. “Want a sandwich? I just made a sandwich. You can have my sandwich. I won’t be long. Thirty seconds, tops.”

“Jerry,” Tanith said, “we’ve come a long way to talk to you.”

He shook his head. “”You’ve come a long way to talk to the other Jerry...”

Tanith showed him her sword. Jerry stared. And then he bolted for the window.

In his haste, however, he completely forgot about the coffee table, and when his shin smacked into it he barely had time to howl before his face hit the floor. Tanith watched him contort in pain, one hand at his shin, the other covering his mouth. He’d bitten his tongue. She winced. She hated that.

Tears in his eyes, Jerry launched himself up and ran into the wall. He rebounded impressively, gave a little whirl, and staggered to the window. Clumsy hands fumbled at the latch. He finally raised it, glanced behind him to make sure he still had time, and in that moment the window closed. Jerry turned back and dove into the glass, cracking it and careering backwards. He collapsed onto the rug and curled up into a sobbing, moaning ball.

“Pleathe,” he lisped, “shtop hurting me.”

Tanith sighed. “We haven’t touched you, Jerry.”

“I seen a lot of things in my time,” Sanguine said, “but I ain’t never seen a man beat himself up before. That was highly entertainin’.”

Tanith walked over to Jerry as he continued to sob. 

“Pleathe don’t kill me.”

“Don’t worry,” Tanith said, her voice soothing. “We weren’t planning on it.”

Sanguine looked at her, surprised. “We weren’t? Why not? He’s clearly an idiot.”

She glared. “We’re not here to hurt anyone. We’re here to ask some questions and leave.”

“But we’ll be killin’ him before we go, won’t we?”

Jerry squealed softly.

“No we won’t,” Tanith insisted. “Violence is not always the answer, Billy-Ray. This time, Jerry here gets to live out the rest of his life in peace- understand?”

“Barely.”

She hunkered down and patted Jerry on the shoulder. “Don’t mind him, Jerry. He’s cranky. He’s used to being the only American in my life, but now there’s you. Jealousy is a terrible thing in a grown man, isn’t it?”

“I ain’t jealous.”

“Of course not, dear. Jerry, what do you say you answer our questions and then we leave you alone? Does that sound good to you?”

Jerry nodded.

“Good man. How’s your tongue?”

“I bith it.”

“I can see that.”

“Ith bleeding.”

“I can see that too.”

He stuck his tongue out at her. “Ith it bad?”

His tongue was bloody and horrible. She took a small leaf from her coat, and placed it delicately into his mouth. “Don’t say anything for a few seconds. Let that heal.”

Jerry blinked at her. His eyes were wet. He wasn’t an impressive human being.

“Show me,” she said, and he stuck his tongue out again. She nodded. “It’s healing. It was only a small bite. Now you can answer our questions, can’t you?”

He nodded, and she stood.

“You’re involved with a group of people, aren’t you? A group of sorcerers from different Sanctuaries around the world.”

“How... how did you know that?”

“I’ve spent the last few months asking a lot of people a lot of questions. See, I figured there’d be someone out there who would be trying to do something about Darquesse before she even turned up. That’s when I heard your name for the first time. You’re a psychic, aren’t you Jerry?”

“I... I prefer the term clairvoyant.”

Tanith did her best not to roll her eyes. “Clairvoyant, of course. And as a clairvoyant, you would have seen visions of Darquesse.”

“Of course,” Jerry said, nodding. He was still on the floor, but he was sitting a little straighter now. His chest puffed out slightly. “Even low-level Sensitives picked up something. For a clairvoyant of my ability, it was a veritable tsunami of images and sensations and emotions. Very powerful.”

“What did you see?”

“I saw death.”

Sanguine gave a barely-suppressed sigh.

“What do you mean?” Tanith asked, smiling at Jerry.

“I saw a city destroyed. Streets cracked and broken. Buildings burning. And I saw her. I saw Darquesse.”

“Did you see her face?”

“Alas, no, I did not,” said Jerry, and Tanith resisted smacking him for using the word alas in an irony-free context. “But there is no doubt in my mind that it was her. Ten foot tall, she was. A terrible sight to behold.”

“Ten foot tall?” Sanguine asked.

Jerry nodded. “Oh yes. Easily. And the way she moved... like a cat.”

Sanguine frowned behind his sunglasses. “What, on all fours?”

“Pardon me?”

Sanguine continued. “I heard from another psychic- sorry, clairvoyant- that Darquesse had long black fingernails that she used to cut off people’s heads. Did you see that?”

Jerry nodded. “It was awful.”

“And she shot laser beams out of her eyes.”

“Well,” Jerry said with a shrug, “I don’t know if they were laser beams, but yes. Devastating blasts, they were.”

“This clairvoyant friend of ours,” Sanguine continued, “he also caught a glimpse of red hair beneath her cloak. Did you see that? Don’t worry if you didn’t. Our friend is probably the most powerful Sensitive in the world, I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t see as much as him.”

“Red hair?” Jerry said. “Yes. Yes, I saw that too, now that you mention it. Long, tousled red hair.”

“He said it was straight.”

“Long straight red hair, yes.”

“He said it was short.”

“Short straight red hair, that’s what I meant to say.”

Sanguine looked at Tanith, who glowered and poked Jerry. He screamed. She had poked him with her sword.

“You’re lying to us,” she said. He screamed again. “We don’t have a psychic friend. Billy-Ray made all that stuff up. You didn’t see a vision, did you?”

She twisted the sword and his screams reached a new pitch. “No! No I didn’t! I’m sorry! Please stop stabbing me!”

She withdrew the sword, and wiped the tip of the blade on his shirt. “Are you even a Sensitive, Jerry?”

“I am,” he whimpered, cradling his wound, “but I’m not a very good one. Sometimes... sometimes I can predict the weather, if it’s a nice day.”

“Is it going to rain tomorrow?” Sanguine asked.

“I don’t know,” Jerry confessed. “I can only predict a few minutes into the future. Most of the time I have to watch the forecast like everyone else.”

“You,” Sanguine said, “are the worst psychic I’ve ever met.”

“Does anyone else know that you’re a fraud?” asked Tanith.

“No,” Jerry said, sobbing. “I’ve managed to keep them fooled. It hasn’t been easy, but whenever they ask me to look into the future I always try to be as vague as possible. I talk about shadows and death and ominous feelings, and they generally infer their own meanings onto that and then leave me alone.”

“So when this group of sorcerers asked you to find out more about Darquesse,” Tanith said, “you basically just copied what every other Sensitive was saying?”

“Essentially, yes,” Jerry said. “Can I have a bandage? I’m bleeding quite badly here.”

“First you tell us what they’re planning, and then we’ll see about bandages.”

“I’m losing a lot of blood.”

Tanith let the veins rise beneath her skin, and her black lips curled into a smile. “Tell us what they’re planning.”

Jerry paled, his face going slack. “Yes. Yes, of course. They’re going after weapons. Four weapons, that they think could hurt Darquesse.”

“Where are these weapons?”

“Scattered,” said Jerry. “All over the world. They’re going to go after them.”

“And you know where they’re goin’?” Sanguine asked.

“I have a list of the possible locations.” Jerry took out his wallet, rifled through it, came out with a crumpled piece of paper.

Tanith took it from him, examined it, and nodded. “Looks like we won’t be needing you anymore.”

He brightened. “So that’s it? I can go?”

She pulled him to his feet. “You can go,” she smiled, and her sword flashed and she took off his head.

“You,” Sanguine said, “are delicious when you’re vicious.”

She gave him a smirk, and led the way to the front door. She opened it and froze.

Six little children in Halloween outfits looked up at her.

“Trick or treat,” said the little witch. Surrounding the witch was a pirate, a zombie, a vampire, a Mad Hatter and a rabbit. They rattled their buckets.

“Uh,” said Tanith.

Sanguine appeared at her elbow, and grinned at the kids. “Look,” he said, “there’s a little zombie. Smells a darn sight better than the real thing, doesn’t he? And a vampire! Doesn’t she look cute? And a rabbit!” He faltered. “A rabbit. That... that ain’t exactly scary, though, is it?”

The rabbit looked up at him. “It is if you’re scared of rabbits.”

Tanith nodded. “You’ve got to admit, he makes a good point.”

“You talk funny,” said the witch. “Where are you from?”

Tanith smiled. “I’m from London.”

The pirate frowned. “Is that in France?”

The Mad Hatter scowled. “It’s in England, dummy.” He looked at Tanith. “You’re English. Why do you have a sword?”

“Because I’m an English ninja,” Tanith replied. “We’re just like regular ninjas, except we wear leather and flirt more.”

The kids nodded, satisfied with the definition, and then rattled their buckets again. “Trick or treat,” they chorused.

“This actually isn’t our house,” Tanith told them, “but whatever you find in there, is yours to keep.”

The pirate perked up. “Even the TV?”

“Especially the TV.”

The kids glanced at each other, then stormed the house. Tanith waited a moment, watching them approach Jerry’s headless corpse warily. The rabbit hesitated, then nudged Jerry’s head with his fluffy foot. The head rolled in its own blood, and the rabbit shrugged. “That’s so fake,” he said, and turned to help the pirate with the TV.

5,000 comments:

1 – 200 of 5000   Newer›   Newest»
Kallista Pendragon- The Beautiful Godess Queen said...

1st

Dragona Pine said...

1st?

Octaboona Ambrosius- Paragon of the Purple Horde said...

3rd?

lego said...

I loves it! And I'll hopefully think of something more articulate to say about it eventually. But I'm sleepy, so no intelligent comments from me today. Please accept my most sincere apologies.

Dragona Pine said...

AH crap, second.



Derek, this is GREAT :D but you're posting so many times 0o ^^
Really awesome story :D

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant - Lord of the Armies of the Desert Sun said...

4th?

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant - Lord of the Armies of the Desert Sun said...

5th...

Kallista Pendragon- The Beautiful Godess Queen said...

OH MY GOSH! I LOVE IT! SO EPICA!
LOL
Poor silly Jerry! LOL
WELL DONE DEREK!
BRAVO!

flaring rhythm said...

LOLOLOL SUCH A WIN! Loved that so much!

Kallista Pendragon- The Beautiful Godess Queen said...

Well done to you too Thalia for an epica beginning to an epica story! It's so perfect for today! XDDDDD

Octaboona Ambrosius- Paragon of the Purple Horde said...

Awww! This story is brilliant Derek!

So funny and amazing and witty and Derektastic!

It's a treat to read!

akssan said...

OMG!! ^^
It´s great! I love it!
But!! no cover?? It would be great if Tom would draw a cover for this short story!!

Kallista Pendragon- The Beautiful Godess Queen said...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!
*hugs*

June Clarence said...

This is great, Derek! I love it! "This is so fake" HAHA! Great thing about Halloween - you can get away with anything and people won`t think twice about it. Hilarious!

Thanks again to Thalia for providing the great start =)

Shadow Whispers said...

Brilliant brilliant! Total win!!
-fangirl dance- I'm done now -brushes imaginary dust off of oneslelf-

nights.raven said...

*applaudes* there are no words to describe how epic that was, Derek :D will u be incorporating some of that story into book 7? and Happy Halloween, Derek!



Hey everyone! Happy Halloween!

Shadow Whispers said...

happy halloween everyone!!

Aquila Felis said...

0.0


*would not like to find a headless corpse*

Sparky Braginski said...

Ah! I LOVE IT! NOw I must go. AWESOME STUFF DEREK!!!

Sparky Braginski said...

WOW. 20th... Bye!!!

LilyArmstrong! said...

i love this! its made my night! :D

Invisible_Fly said...

Haven't read it yet. Just marking my comment territory.

Invisible_Fly said...

I HOPE EVERYONE ELSE CAUGHT THAT ACCIDENTALLY-ON-PURPOSE INCLUSION OF THAT INTERNET MEME!!! OH MY GOD...

http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/10/10788/11047121.jpg

I made this specifically for this short story.

Flame Phoenix said...

24th!!!

Invisible_Fly said...

Oh my God, Derek should subtly include more internet memes in his work. It would honestly make my life.

Shadow Whispers said...

he should, he should! Hello again by the way!

Theatregirl40 said...

That...was...awesome.... o.O

Invisible_Fly said...

Heh, hello to you too :3

I really liked this story. It was nice to see Tanith and Billy-Ray again. ^_^

Sarah ViEu2011 said...

haha, that's so funny! I Love it
'That's so fake!'
HAPPPY HALLOWEEN

Everisse Eterna said...

Shadow, Raven, Aquila, Fly, Octa, Dragona, anybody-else-who's-here, hi!

Amazing story!

Theatregirl40 said...

*Mind is blown by awesomeness*

Invisible_Fly said...

http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/10/10788/11047121.jpg

Just in case people didn't see it the first time. It's not one of my top favorite memes, but I like it a lot anyways.

HELLO EVERISSE! How are you? :D

Crystal Darkflair said...

That is brilliant!!

Shadow Whispers said...

hello!! I love halloween it gives people the initiative to write awesome stories!

Digiconspiracy said...

Awesome. Nice to see Tanith again, even if she is all evil and the like. And I've always liked Billy-Ray. I hope he doesn't die, but with the revelation that Tanith has no real feelings for him I get the impression that she might end up killing him sometime soon.

Be right back, I just have to go share this with my brothers...

Crystal Darkflair said...

Yeah I am really happy that taniths back even if its only for a while and shes so evil :)

Invisible_Fly said...

Digiconspiracy is right, I have a feeling Tanith is going to kill Billy-Ray. I hope she doesn't... I know he's completely crazy, but I really like him. He's a cool character :)

Everisse Eterna said...

Fly-I'm good. Prepping for NaNoWriMo, generally tired, but still fine. :-)

Digi! Hi!

Shadow Whispers said...

He's a cool bad guy, the reoccuring type, Tanith shouldn't kill him, she should almost kill him, but then not

Shadow Whispers said...

'everisse You're doing NaNoWriMo? *high five*

Everisse Eterna said...

-high fives-

Yeah. Never going to finish, probably, but oh well.

Invisible_Fly said...

NaNoWriMo? That's very cool :) I'm helping my friend get ready for Movember. I have to take his razors and hide them XD

Yeah, exactly! The cool bad guy. Like, he's totally evil but he does it so awesomely that we'd be sad for him to die.

Everisse Eterna said...

Yeah, I don't want Sanguine to die. He's like that awesome evil guy that you want to hate but you can't because he's so AWESOME.

Shadow Whispers said...

I won't finish either XP what's your name so I can buddy request you because I'm a stalker like that.... (not really)

Well, I wouldn't say sad if he died.... just that it would make the range of bad-guys less awesome

Shadow Whispers said...

I don't want him to die of course

Invisible_Fly said...

The more I think about Billy-Ray getting killed off, the more I like him. I don't want him to die D:

Flame Phoenix said...

Nobody wants to say hi? *hugs everyone*


Derek write more like that.... Pwease?

Anyway my mum Is buying me haunted!! Yay!!

Everisse Eterna said...

Shadow Whispers: My username is Everisse. What's yours, I'll add you too.

Shadow Whispers said...

Hey flame! It's nice to meet you :) *returns hug*

Digiconspiracy said...

Hi, I'm back :D Hey everybody!
I'm glad people are agreeing with me on Tanith-kills-Sanguine, my brother doesn't think she will.

Shadow Whispers said...

everisse: my usernames bleeding-lilly.. my friend chose it for me....

Kalia Mist said...

By the quill of Shakespeare, that was a COOL story!!!! I especially love the opening by Thalia! Always start a good short story with a corpse, that's what I say. But the bit where the trick or treaters went into the house! SO COOL!!! Those American kids were dumb enough to think the corpse was a fake an that London is in France! It paints the Ameriminions in a bad light, I think. Sorry Ameriminions! (Derek, your turn to apologise!) Anyway, I'd better go- trick or treaters will probably barge in asking for the television and whether Tanith Low the flirty, leathery English Ninja has been in here demanding info on Darquesse. (I'll tell them I haven't seen Tanith, but they can use the TV as long as they don't tune in to Big Brother, X Factor or anything like that.)

CrypticCrystal said...

WOOOO! :D

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant - Lord of the Armies of the Desert Sun said...

Also when Jerry bites his tounge and says "I'm bleeding! Is it bad?"
That reminds me of the scene in Starship when Up and Taz have a very similar scene.

Is this a Starkids shout out?

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant - Lord of the Armies of the Desert Sun said...

Oh. Octa here by the way.

Forogt to log out of Pyro's account.

NJ Maverick said...

OMG
THAT WAS EPIC
I LOVE IT!!

Everisse Eterna said...

Octa, Shadow, anyone else who hasn't seen:

blogland2011.blogspot.com

Check out the link!

Kalia Mist said...

BTW, I want Sanguine to get badly injured and tortured for steling away Ghastly's girl and WHY DID TANITH NOT GET TORTURED???!!!!! Ahem. Anyway, I don't want Sanguine to die, just live a pitiful existance, alone and depressed, without a soul for company, tortured by the very world in which he lives, cringing in the darkest shadows for fear of the light... and, yes, you guys can use that, including Derek. Cool story, bro! Did I just say bro? Don't let me say that again.

Kalia Mist said...

Octa, what r u oin in Pyro's account? And why can't I have a go? I wanna be pyro for a day!

Shadow Whispers said...

NJ! Hi hugs*

Sabrina Sparrow said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! LOVED IT! Just sitting in the living room, reading this, sniggering all the while.

I found it highly hilarious, that halfway through, I had some adorable little kids knock on my front door, one as a witch, the other a toilet-paper mummy!

Loved this part so much:
"Sanguine appeared at her elbow, and grinned at the kids. “Look,” he said, “there’s a little zombie. Smells a darn sight better than the real thing, doesn’t he? And a vampire! Doesn’t she look cute? And a rabbit!” He faltered. “A rabbit. That... that ain’t exactly scary, though, is it?”"

Billy-Ray getting all soppy over the cute kids! Love it! XD

Absolutely AMAZING Derek!

X

NJ Maverick said...

Hey Shadow *hugs*

Invisible_Fly said...

@Kalia riiiiight... someone seems to hate Billy Ray... <_<"

Shadow Whispers said...

Everisse that sounds like fun!!

Digiconspiracy said...

Sorry to just comment twice and leave, guys, but I'm watching Tintin and I keep missing parts of the conversation ^^;

Everisse Eterna said...

I find it impossible to hate Sanguine. Seriously.

Thalia Jane said...

That....was one of the most brilliant things I have ever read.

I LOVE it, Derek! Fantastic story. Awesome awesome awesome!


Happy Halloween, everyone!

Everisse Eterna said...

Happy Halloween! Hi Thalia!

-glomps-

Congratulations on the contest, by the way!

Thalia Jane said...

Hiya Ev!

*hugs*

Thank you!

Invisible_Fly said...

IMPORTANT QUESTION:

DID ANYONE CARVE A SKULDUGGERY THEMED JACK-O-LANTERN?

Mz.Boo said...

yes I am so excited, i am reading now....

Thalia Jane said...

I didn't have a pumpkin at all this year :( The squirrels would have gobbled it up. That'd be awesome though, Fly.

Digiconspiracy said...

Invisible Fly: YES! I have two!

Digiconspiracy said...

Check them out: http://its-a-digiconspiracy.deviantart.com/gallery/33469393

Everisse Eterna said...

Mine was a generic pumpkin. His name was Jake. But he rotted and we had to throw him out. D:

Invisible_Fly said...

I can't believe I didn't think of Skulduggery pumpkins until now...

Thalia, next year, I'll visit and capture all the squirrels and keep them in the university dorms until Halloween is over so that your jack-o-laterns are safe, and then I'll bring the squirrels back.

Digiconspiracy, totally post pics :D

Invisible_Fly said...

Everisse, that is truly a tragic tale of love and loss. D:

Digicon, man, your pumpkins are badass :O

Digiconspiracy said...

Fly - I just posted a link ;)

Thalia Jane said...

LOL Fly! Awesome!

Ayesha said...

OH MY WIZARDING GOD!
I loved that!! I love the opener by thalia it's awesome! But I really do miss Tanith!!
DEREK PLEAASE TAKE THE REMNANT OUT OF HER PWEASE TANITH IS TOO AWESOME TO HAVE A REMNANT INSIDE HER!! PWEASE???

LOL that dude in that rabbit costume sounds cool even if he did poke the head with its fluffy foot....which I have to admit is quite gross...!
BUT I LOVED THIS!
I can't to see who the winners will be for the freind get frein competition!!!

Digiconspiracy said...

:D Thank you! I was pretty impressed with them, myself...

Everisse Eterna said...

Loved the pumpkins, Digi! I wanted to a Hetalia pumpkin, but we only had one...

Everisse Eterna said...

*wanted to do

Digiconspiracy said...

Thanks Everisse! And can I just say, my condolences go out to you for your tragic loss.

Shadow Whispers said...

my cousin made the most epic dobby from harry potter pumpkin ever!!

Thalia Jane said...

Ugh, my computer is stupid and won't let me see your pumpkins, Digiconspiracy. I'm sure they're awesome, though!

Everisse Eterna said...

My computer is likely to crash any minute now. It takes longer to happen when I'm not watching videos, but fair warning.

Digiconspiracy said...

;) That's OK, Thalia. Congrats on winning the competition, by the way!

Thalia Jane said...

Thanks!

I got it working! Fantastic pumpkins!

Flame Phoenix said...

I is back

nights.raven said...

hey everyone! Happy Halloween!

Flame Phoenix said...

Congratz thaila... That is an amazing story ;)

Thalia Jane said...

Happy Halloween!

Digiconspiracy said...

Thanks, Thalia!
Hi Flame! Hi Nights!

Flame Phoenix said...

Woo-hoo people are crap at giving sweets...

Flame Phoenix said...

Ho digi, nights and thaila

Digiconspiracy said...

What do you mean by the sweets comment, Flame?

Millyw said...

Amazing Derek, I especially liked the part with the TV, I'd like to go trick or treating and get TV. *Sigh* Anyway, I loved it, I wish you'd do one for bonfire night!

Everisse Eterna said...

Flame!

-hugs-

Hi!

nights.raven said...

hey everyone who said hi to me

Flame Phoenix said...

I mean wen I went around people were giving out like a chewit at a time, lifting square sweets

Flame Phoenix said...

Hi ev

Thalia Jane said...

Oh...oh crap...

I accidentally undid my tie. It's a very key part of my Sherlock Holmes costume. I don't know how to do a tie. This is not good.

I'm gonna go get my brother to try to fix it. Bye all, and happy Halloween!

Digiconspiracy said...

Unlucky :( We were giving out cupcakes.

Shadow Whispers said...

All my aunts kept asking what my little brother was supposed to be... I had him dressed up as skulduggery pleasant XD

Flame Phoenix said...

Bye thailia

Flame Phoenix said...

Lol...

Unfair! Cupcakes are much nicer than stale sweets...

Digiconspiracy said...

Well, we don't usually get a lot of trick-or-treaters, but this year there were loads, and the only things we had were cupcakes.

MyChemicalRomance863 said...

I've read all six
I love this! Derek you are my Role Model!!!

Shadow Whispers said...

no one ever comes trick or treating round our house.... thats possibly because I live in the middle of nowhere down a lane thats 1/2 a mile long.... btu that's beside the point...

Flame Phoenix said...

Yay!!!


Anyaway I'm in my cousins house they're watchin album and the chiminks from since 1950 I think... So bored...

My uncle has been telling me and my other cousin for years he doesn't have wireless... We went exploring and found he was lying... He doesn't no were on our iPods using the interweb ;)

Everisse Eterna said...

Bye, Thalia!

-hugs-

Just ordered Death Bringer, waiting very impatiently for it to magically appear.

Everisse Eterna said...

Nobody's going to come to our house, since nobody up here is supposed to trick or treat because the storm just passed. I shall eat all of the candy.

Flame Phoenix said...

I'm never in my house always at relatives ;)

Shadow Whispers said...

flame: lol what a lie!!

Everisse: You haven't read it yet O.o I had to wait for ages to get it out of the library.... only finished it a week or two ago...

Rachel said...

*reads this*

sister- "what the hell you smirkin at?"

XD EPIC!! the ending is the BEST!!

That's so fake...

Flame Phoenix said...

I lost my train of thought.... Trick or greatest are really annoying

Flame Phoenix said...

What is a lie? I'm a liar *screams*


Anyway my thought was...

Were pouring club into small paper cups and calling them shots pretending to be drunk while answering door..

Everisse Eterna said...

I want my chocolate. Agh, why is it only 3:20?

Flame Phoenix said...

Are u in America? *laughs maniacally while eating Choccie*

Everisse Eterna said...

Wait, it's 4:20. Stupid computer.

Everisse Eterna said...

But, yeah, America.

Flame Phoenix said...

Lol...

Shadow Whispers said...

8:30pm here....

Flame Phoenix said...

What was a lie?

Everisse Eterna said...

Yeah, I'm four hours behind the blog time. Curse you, time zones!

Computer crashed. On iPod now.

Flame Phoenix said...

Yay iPods are cool...

Shadow Whispers said...

your uncles lie about the internet?

Crystal Darkflair said...

Hello again :)

Flame Phoenix said...

Alrite my auntie is after asking my cousin this

Cousin *eating a chocolate apple*

Auntie "is that homemade"

cousin *rolls eyes*

Shadow Whispers said...

hello!!!

Crystal Darkflair said...

Hi!

Shadow Whispers said...

how are you crystal?

Crystal Darkflair said...

Grand u?

nights.raven said...

srry for slow responses, i keep forgetting to refresh the page

Flame Phoenix said...

My cousins making a sandwich and she was cutting with a knife I went over and cut it with a pizza cutting nabob and left a mark on the new counter....

Luckily my auntie is blind...


yea my step uncle is a mangy bolaise

Crystal Darkflair said...

okay

Flame Phoenix said...

Hello crys *hugs*

Shadow Whispers said...

I'm grand too :) can't get the baby to sleep though.... grrr

Dragona Pine said...

I have to go now. Night guys!

Crystal Darkflair said...

Night Dragona!
Haha shadow XD
Hello Flame :D

Flame Phoenix said...

Bye dragona

Rachel said...

Alo!

u guys up to anything this fine halloween?

...sadly i aint :( though theres a school thing on the 4th for some reason... :/

Shadow Whispers said...

night dragona!

It isn't funny crystal! he won't stop crying... he, just bit me!! vampire baby!!! *runs away in horror*

Everisse Eterna said...

Gotta go, guys!

-hugs-

Maybe see you later, but happy Halloween!

Flame Phoenix said...

Lol, *waves at vamp baby*

*baby giggles*

Crystal Darkflair said...

Bye everisse!
Coool Shadow! Who is this vampire baby?

Shadow Whispers said...

don't fratrenize with the enemy flame!!! *pokes vamp baby with a stick*

Shadow Whispers said...

Bye everisse!!
This vampire baby is my little cousin.... And I think he wants to eat me *uses stuffed teddy as a shield*

Flame Phoenix said...

Bye ev...

Crystal Darkflair said...

Oh dear you have a vampire in the family that is never good.

Rachel said...

Night Ev!! Happy Halloween to ya!

:P

and hello to some o the newer folks i dinae ken!
and heya Flame :)

Shadow Whispers said...

O.O what do I dooooo crystal!!!

Flame Phoenix said...

Teddys are cool creatures leave them alone..

Flame Phoenix said...

Hey each Howr u?


Leave it outside the front door, witches love children...

Or wrap it up and give it to trick or treaters...

Shadow Whispers said...

yes, that would be the best thing to do.... hmmm... I can just give him back to his parents :) Teddy's are cool

Flame Phoenix said...

Yes, that is the best thing to do...

Shadow Whispers said...

now to figure out where they are...

Invisible_Fly said...

WAAH, my laptop froze and I had to restart it, and I missed a lot. HI EVERYONE.

Flame Phoenix said...

Lol... Hi flu

Crystal Darkflair said...

Hi fly :)

Shadow Whispers said...

Hi!!!

Theatregirl40 said...

Can I ask a question? Yes No?...

Taking that as a yes.

Gordon Edgely didn't have a taken name (or if he did we never learned it).
Does that mean someone could control him using his given name, or does that rule only apply to people of the magical community?

I know, I know. Has nothing to do with the blog post or anything...But there it is.

Invisible_Fly said...

Aw, my brother isn't going trick or treating anymore. His friend cancelled on him, but she won't say why. He's all depressed now :(

Sparky Braginski said...

Hey guys! I'm back, and I haven't stopped thinking about Skulduggery Pleasant since I woke up 3 and a half hours ago...


Reading the story again I have realised even though she is INSANELY evil, I still love Tanith Low...

I love reading about her, thinking about her, imagining her doing different things- killing different monsters... I JUST CAN'T HELP IT. SHE IS MY FAVOURITE AND ALWAYS WILL BE.






















Derek, why do you torment me so???

Flame Phoenix said...

*shrugs*

Crystal Darkflair said...

I have to go!
Well tecnically I don't HAVE to go but i WANT to go eat popcorn & sweets while watching horror movies ;D

Rachel said...

:) Heya Flame. am good thanks! bit miffed bout bein stuck inside on Halloween though... :(
how u?

Flame Phoenix said...

Sparksy u need to get over that addiction..... I'm her number one fan!!!


G2g will bb later!!

Crystal Darkflair said...

Oh ya bye!

Shadow Whispers said...

awh :( fly why don't you take him trick-or-treating, no dressing up just you know... going with and looking after?

Shadow Whispers said...

bye crystal, bye flame!

Rachel said...

Night Flame!!

Invisible_Fly said...

Shadow, my brother is 16 and doesn't want his older sister going with him XD I may just go straight up trick or treating myself in my crappy witch costume. It's not really a costume, just a collection of the goth stuff I've collected over the years and never wore :P

GTG guys, I have to pick up a friend. Maybe we'll go trick or treating. seeya later :3

Shadow Whispers said...

I see the dilemma then *nodding sagely*
Bye Fly!!

MissAriannaDark said...

That was freaking amazing :D
I still want Tanith back though...

Sparky Braginski said...

PHAME!!!!!!!!!!! NEXT TIME I SEE YOU YOU WILL BE DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MESSILY AND PAINFULLY AND, AND , AND... You. Will. Be. Dead.

*starts to charge up hands with sheer, uncontrollable fury*

Actually , you don't DESERVE a death that quick...

*sits down in corner and writes down everything that will happen to Flame Phoenix next time he's here*

Booby traps... LOTS OF BOOBY TRAPS!!!!

...

*walks into sound proof room and starts screaming*

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nights.raven said...

i gtg, ill be back tomorrow sometime, bye all *hugs*

Acacia Volt~ The Supreme S'K said...

Tanith walked over to Jerry she he continued to sob.

Eh? :)

I want to be an English ninja… or one of those kids :D

I feel like a reversed Ponyo. I WANT TEA!


Awesome story, Derek! I’m just curious as to who the corpse was because you said that he was a bachelor… :P Sorry, I couldn’t help but pick it up.
I wish that I went trick or treating after hearing about everybody’s loot. Then again… it’s only 8:10am on a Tuesday in Australia, the clouds are magnificent, the sun is bright and filtering through the brush-boxes, and I think that my duck is in his caravan.
It is time for chocolate (,tea and violin :D).

Derek, do you play any instruments?

And, inanely, I still can’t stop thinking about the possibility of a Pseudonym. :)

Hope all is well, with the floods and all. :P

Enjoy the Halloween season and MO-vember :)

xxxx~ S'K

Rachel said...

Night Rave!!

:) Happy Halloween to ya!

Sarthacus Bolt said...

One of the skills I know nis to tell real things from fake...


Great story. I have had no trick-or-treaters. :(

My_WildLife said...

I love tanith I wish that mean remnant would leave her alone, hint. Hint, derek. Derek is definetly my favoirite author by far and reading this has made my night! Please write more little things like this. :) Louise

Shadow Whispers said...

night guys! gotta go remove a vampire baby from my house....

Sparky Braginski said...

SO FREAKING ANGRY!!!!!!!!

*moves into shooting range room and fires electricity at everything in sight*

HE WILL DIE!!!

Sparky Braginski said...

I don't know how to express my blind fury...

*walks into forest and fries innocent animals*

NOT WORKING!!!

*absent-mindedly walks into group of vampires*

OH!!

*kills every one in 20 seconds*

That made me feel better, but not enough to NOT KILL PHAME!!!

Sparky Braginski said...

Need, help...

*sees pile of dead things*

*reduces pile to ashes*

Sparky Braginski said...

Now I appear to be alone and seething with anger. Not good combination.

Sarthacus Bolt said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJhBqTdU0gw


My newest video, hope you like!

Sparky Braginski said...

GTG Bye!

*sets traps to disembowel Phame when he comes back*

BYE!

Molly said...

Haha, that was funny. I laughed, yes, I laughed quite a bit. I can totally see that last scene with the children happening quite clearly. perhaps I'll draw a picture. Yay! drawing time!

Ah, NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow with a session ending in over 1667 words. I can do it! Yes! Everyone should try it as well. A lot of you, like me, like to write, so you may enjoy the challenge of writing 50,000 words in one month. Or you may like the idea of the challenge, but wince at the actual process of the challenge. Check it out either way,

www.nanowrimo.org

See you in December,

Molly

BellaDonna Curse said...

Remember I said I'd do a video? Well, I compelety forgot the date, and uploaded it today!!! GODDAMIT!!!! I EVEN GOT MY FOUR YEAR OLD SISTER INVOLVED!!! HER CUTENESS IS AMZINGLY EFFECTIVE AS A BRAINWASHING DEVICE!!!!! IT'S ON YOUTUBE AND EVERYTHING!!!!! I'VE NEVER UPLOADED ANYTHING BEFORE!!! I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE!!!! I'M EVEN DRESSED AS VAMPIRE VALKYRIE IN THE VIDEO!! (In all fairness, it is just my regular black clothes with white facepaint.)
Anyway, THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BellaDonna Curse said...

Is everyone at Halloween Party's?? I feel so forever alone.... :')

Author-To-Be said...

I had started reading this, but then started to wonder why Tanith knew Valkyries secret. Darn. I CANNOT READ THIS NOW! Why, cruel world! WHY?

I bet it was good. I bet it was great. I'll just... try to imagine my own story or something. Go from Tanith carving a pumpkin of Valkyrie and the fact that Billy Ray is in it.

Yeah... Bummer. And I was REALLY looking forward to this!

Mr. Landy, just so you know, I am going to be working on a devilishly wicked short story about Valkyrie, with your permission. It will be on my new blog. That I only have one thing posted so far...

I'll tell you when it's done. You probably would have NEVER thought of this.

Congrats, Thalia. Sorry I can't even read it. I'm only on book four... And none of my books are the same size. :(

Tori said...

complete awesomness :D

Author-To-Be said...

I'm sure it was. :(

BellaDonna Curse said...

Once you've read Mortal Coil you'll be able to read it :)

Author-To-Be said...

I'm in America. That may never happen.

Author-To-Be said...

Or that is the way it appears, so far. They left us off at book three!

I'm not angry at you, Mr. Landy. I'm angry at the people who originally BROUGHT it to America. I am addicted, and I cannot get the last two. My darling sister was dear enough to buy the fourth from England, or Australia, or New Zealand, or somewhere where they are up to date.

Please, Mr. Landy. Please bring the others to America. That would be a nice Christmas present. :)

BellaDonna Curse said...

Yeah, maybe, but they may be released there in the future, but idk sorry :(

Tori said...

i has to order them
i ordered the 4th and 5th together when i discovered the power of amazon :P
and i got the 6th this year around the time it was actually released

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