A lot of people are asking where they can buy Skulduggery placemats, and the answer is NOWHERE! My sisters actually breached copyright to get them made, but because they had the permission of my publishers, they're not being sued...
I'd love to sue my sisters. That would be FUNNY.
Wouldn't make me too popular around Christmas time, though...
Posts
About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
4,282 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3201 – 3400 of 4282 Newer› Newest»ahh thanks Darkane :]
be back in 10 guys having a nap
"no one ever says anything about me"
thats cause you're me
"i know"
then shut up
"sorry"
shhhh
*silence*
Darkane... when you said I was like Tesseract I do feel things... started doing a few nights ago thanks to Florence... and I am wearing a mask at the moment which looks like a cross between Hanibal Lecter and Tesseract... and I can take on multipul opponents and win... but I'm not really like him and I have no intentions of being an Assassin...
thanx guys :D
"thanx"
i told you to shut up
*silence*
Lol Florence...
i might become a assasin...could be fun you never know....
"who will you kill first?"
you if you wont be quiet voice
"Sorry"
shut up
*silence*
stupid conscience gets on my nerves
"sorry"
Florence... you would have to be a heartless, soulless beast to be an Assassin... you wouldn't have to feel sorrow for those you've killed...
... and I don't think your like that Florence... you would not make an Assassin because your too nice...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei8hPkyJ0bU&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O453C5uuu7U&feature=mfu_in_order&playnext=1&videos=2hZaZapidC8
0:23 eurgh, guves me the shivers.
I am glad people like me lol...
you never know i might....
You never know, you could turn evil because Derek eats all the copies of the last SP book before they're published. Then you would go completely mad and then you could become an assassin.
lol thats awsome sarthacus not creepy...
Basically all the music in movies is either composed by Danny Elfman or Hans Zimmer.
Sorry Florence... but you wouldn't be an Assassin... your too cool, kind and friendly for that... I know you have the violence side but I don't think you have the evil for it... your human after all...
Oh I just realised that made me sound like an alien but I didn't mean it in that way...
back .... never got any sleep but I tried ..
Flo I don't think I could be an assassin I somtimes cry reading stories about how complete strangers hav lost loved ones and what they have been threw and so I would be a terrible assassin ...
anyway whay would you do if you you offered an awful amount of money to assasinate me?
I would ignore it... completely ignore it and walk away... I don't care how much money they pay me, I will not become a murderer... no matter what...
If there were two train tracks side by side and there was 5 people that you didn't know tied to one track and your dog was tied to the other one and a train was coming along on both sides who would you save?
sarthacus is that a german song???
i turned the volume right up and i nearly got a heart attck...
Both of them... I wouldn't be responsible for someone elses death, either human or animal... it would break me up inside... and I would die because I wouldn't be able to sleep if I did...
you lot are making me feel guilty now...
Oh... I think I've gone all wise again...
*brain implodes*
Ah... great... now again...
Sorry Florence, why are we making you feel guilty?
You're only able to save one of them.
Wait, the people... I don't have a dog...
If you did have a dog.
nicolette if they offered me money to kill you i wouldnt...
i would only kill another person as a last resort..eg they are so badly hurt that life will only make it far worse for them....
i would probably go and save the humans
wait how all are they..do they have a family...are they injured??
Oh... probably the people, even if I didn't know them... strangely enough...
now that doesnt make sense...
You people are idiots (no offense) Run over and give the people a knife so they can cut their way out and then save the dog.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1T0ZTXyoCo
this song nearly gave me a heart attack...i put the volume all the way up and i was like "jesus christ" when i fell of my chair...
omg first comment..
Because the life of a dog you can get over, no matter how long it takes, but if you had a chance to save someone in danger and didn't, then it would haunt you for the rest of your life...
am i alone??
Nope...
ahh awsome..
Darkane... if you said we had a knife then we would have done that... but you didn't say that we had a knife...
soz no one was talking...typing
Hellooooooooooooo?
then again you could just stop the trains..
Hi Darkane...
or at least one it would give you more time..
Or you could throw yourself infront of the train and then it would be all over for you...
Lol I was jking about that one above...
Flo, how would you stop the trains? With your awesome super human strength? I never knew you could stop 100 tons of metal and people that was going at 80 km per hour.
i wonder when kallista will finish her fan fic...
No Darkane... stand on the tracks so the driver would see you and stop the train...
"Near, far, where ever you are,
I believe that your heart will, go on"
Lol...
I'm back sorry I was gone for so long I only went to make 1 crumpet but the toaster eletricuted me when I tried to get it out with the butter knife ...
toasters are mean
You would only be able to stand in front of one so the other one would keep going
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A63VwWz1ij0&NR=1
Nicolette... NEVER use a knife to get things out of the toaster... you may die... but your toaster must be crappy... on mine it has a handle that you lift up to make the bread and things lift up more so you can get it out of the toaster...
use my super awsome ninga powers to but both train brakes on at the same time
or use my super ninga speed to save both of them
dunno brake the tracks...
oh and my frinds say i will become a assasin one day because i can:
Sword fight
hurt ppl and not care
i already know how to use 6 different types of guns
my footsteps are really quiet even if i try to make them loud
i have awsome reflex
i feel safer in the night
my reasons against
i wouldnt be alowed to be one...
i hurt ppl for a reason
thats a crap job
oh ... see I didn't know that
"Let your love flow,
Like a mountain stream, and let your love go,
With the smallest of dreams,
And let your love show,
And you'll know what I mean,
It's the reason...
Let your love fly,
Like a bird on a wing,
And let your love find you,
Of all living things,
And let your love flow,
And you'll know what I mean,
Tis' the season..."
Lol...
....
i need to think of more reasons..
oh yh they also said because im russian...
There's a band called Cancer Bats, WEIRD!
Yeh Florence... you haven't got the emotional side of being an assassin... you need to be hard... and not feel anything... but you do...
NOOOO THE STICKINESS IS WINNING!
^ I have my reasons for randomness
are toaster has got the pushy up bit but with crumpets and pancakes you still can't reach them so I usally use a knife to prick them out with ...
I'm very carefull It's onlt because my sister jogged me and it went into the side of the toaster ... but even then I dropped the knife straight away
eating lemon fairy cakes yum yum :P
apparantly my pe teacher is in hospital....woops
lol hmmmm ... I think I'll make lemon cheesecake somewhen during the holidays
i made a lemon cheese cake once......
Why am I listening to random love songs on my Ipod... ah yes... I downloaded Steve Wright Sunday Love Songs onto it... but I only wanted one song and it must have copied all of them... all I wanted was Let Your Love Flow by the Bellamy Brothers... but they're all together!
*mumbles something about crappy 80s love songs*
Apparently the deamons, ghosts, and black faries will haunt me tonight.
I love making lemon cheese cake cheese cakes are suprisingly easy to make and so tasty :]
..it nearly poisoned the gardener....i dont think that i will be a better cook then jamie oliver....with my amazing cooking skills i could kill the world..
and why is that Sarthacus lol
is it chain mail?
I only like punk, indie, rock and the occasional classical piece, do love songs come under that category?
sarthacus that song made me cry jesus christ while i fell of the chair....ok kinda my fault because i put the volume right up....
Chain-mail annoys me, if someone sends me them I just reply with:
If you don't piss off then I'll come to your house and stab you in your sleep!
Good times...
LOL florence!
me and my freind are planning on putting a filter on the sun ..she said she wanted to block it completly but I told her we would all die so were only tinting it now
Add alternative to that list.
RAmmstien -- Mein Herz Brennt
Yes, a German band, makes good rock songs.
They come to you in the night... demons, ghosts, black faires... they creep out of the cellar shaft... They wait untill the moon is awake... I am the voice from you pillow... I have a gift for you... I ripped it from my chest... With this heart Ihave the power... a bright light from heaven... MY HEART BURNS!!!
Oo oo Can you tint it red? THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!
i used to get chain mail until my friend wrote her own....no one sends any now......
Cool paragraph up there!
*carries on mumbling about 80s love songs*
the my heart burns bit scared me...
no tint it purple or black!
my colours...
Red and black are my colours but if you tint it black it'd block it completely or turn it grey
lets block it completly then :D
MY HEART BURNS!!!
They will haunt you in the night... they steal your small hot tears... they wait till the moon awakens... and put them in my cold veins... Now, dear children, pay attention... I am the voice from the pillow... I sing till the day awakes... a bright light shining on the heavens... MY HEART BURNS!!!
*Cool guitar/drum solo*
i want to see the world in complete darkness..
ill get my music teacher to give me the music for it...i want to learn it now...
Then you wouldn't be able to see because it would be completely black.
It would be pretty cool in Darkness... I prefer nighttime to daytime... strangely enough...
a well dreams over..
i like the darkness it feels safer,,
a reason why my friends think ima vampire or that ill be a assasin....
I'm somehow better at everything in the dark. I can run faster for longer, I can stay quieter, I can be unseen...
*World turns to night*
*Appears ot be everywhere yet nowhere*
now i have to ask this... what do you want to be when you are older???
Night time is awesome because no one is up except for me, I think I'm an insomniac.
My friends think I'm a vampire... but I'm not... I swear... some people think I would be an assassin... but I don't want to be...
I don't know what I want to be when I'm older... haven't got a clue... something cool... a policeman takes my fancy but so does a few other things... a racing driver... yes... I am awsome at go-carts... I seem to take each corner perfectly... and my friend said he'll be the commentator if I be the driver...
Some people seem ot think I'm a teleporter in the dark... I can go behind them and talk to them, and then be infronm=nt of them...
My friends think I'ma vamp but they've never said anything about being an assassin. I was very insulted though because they think I'm a Twilight vamp because I have golden eyes.
I'll either be an author, an actor, or... er... an artist when I'm older.
I want to drive fast... a policeman is cool because you get to chase people in cars... the Essex Interceptors... I want to be on there... it's cool... but I fancy racing... it would be cool...
that is insulting..
MEIN HERZ BRENNT!!!
There's a creepy sound after the man sings: THey come to you in the night...
*Sound of demon, ghosts, and black faries comng*
Ah...
I want to be a pro athlete (never going to happen I know because I'm crap at running, the only event I'm slightly good at is discus but I don't want to be a thrower I prefer hurdling), or a pro drummer (I want to be a pro everything don't I, that's not going to happen either because I'm crap at drumming) or I want to own and run a recording studio (most likely option).
Hi, Kallista.
Your just doing that to annoy me Dragona
I will not be annoyed........................
STOP WITH THE AH AND THE HMM!
A racing driver would be cool... all I would have to do is race 72 laps in a car... either F1, Touring Cars or Le Mans would be good for me...
No I'm not doing it to annoy you, they're my trademarks...
If you become a racing driver tell me because my dad always watches F1 and I could be like, I know .............. <( insert Dragona's name)
Plus pro athletes and drummers don't get payed that much unless, for athletes, you win everything and get the prize money, or, for a drummer, are in a really popular band.
Yes, if I ever become one and have an interview, I'll be sure to say my taken name and say about this blog, then you'll know it's me... I want to drive a BMW, but they've gone bust... maybe a Mclaren or a Salbur
*Sauber stupid typos lol.
Hi Kallista...
Well at least I'm glad everyone likes me lol.
ooooh mention me!
wait no dont...
Mclarens are pretty awesome, do you know if lamborghini make F1 cars?
dont menion me incase i do become a blood firsty assasin....they will find me easier...
Lol Kallista, what did she do?
*walks towards the SWATs and buts a bag down*
*walks away quickly and thumbles with 'phone'*
*bomb goes off*
snars??
Florence... you won't become an Assassin...
But anyway... I'm good at F1 2009 on the wii...
*coughs*
10 minuites infront of Jenson Button on Hard...
sorry im not concentrating much cause im doing my penpal letter again....dam i have 12 page now and i had 10 before.....
*joins Kallista with clones and ninja goldfish all holding assult rifles*
*takes SWAT hostage*
*grabs random FBI person*
NO BODY MOVE!
*10000 guns pointed at me*
*releases prisoners and takes out wallet*
*shows them badge*
Dragona Pine... MI6...
*stabs FBI person and 10000000 secret agents come down on a rope from an army helicopter*
This operation is now under MI6 control...
*randomly shoots swat one by one then runs across the building, ready for next victims*
*shoots all the SWAT and the FBI*
Kallista, you are free to kill the librarian whenever you wish...
NOOOO KALLISTA!!!
*Kallista turns and snarls* Why not
THINK OF THE ONIONS!!!!!! USE THESE INSTEAD!
*Throws a bag to Kallista*
*gets attacked from behind by terassect*
is it two ss' or two rr's??
*grabs Florence from behind*
Sorry... Assassins aren't allowed...
*cuffs Florence to a pole*
To r's
I hate beans Bleh Bleh
*sees Tesseract attack Florence and stabs him through the head*
*nods head*
That's what you get, my prisoner...
dam...*
takes out a key that unlovks every lock and runs*
unlocks..
*Runs in carrying two machine pistols*
Run Kallista, take her somewhere and kill her there, I'll cover you.
*grabs Florence and locks her in a cell which is indestructable and unescapable, she cannot get out as it has no locks, but somehow is locked*
lol Kallista ..
*security guard walks by Florence's cell with Florence inside*
*grabs the guard and knocks him out*
*kicks Florence's cell door in*
I'm a traitor hehe...
*Put's trampoline under Kallista*
*waves at flo threw prison walls*
*sits in cell waiting for death*
"told ya that being a assassin wasnt a good idea"
shut up voice
"why should i"
cause your annoying
"sorry"
you should be
*silence*
*grabs Florence and escapes through a ventilation shaft*
*parachutes in and rescues Kallista from story window and lands on the ground softly*
Hello flo how you doing *dragona kicks her doors in* hehehe go violence!!
yes a traitor....sorry
*shoots dragona and runs*
Nicolette... already escaped... you just kicked the door in with the unconcious guard inside...
*grabs nicolette*
*nicolette screams*
shut up hostage
sorry
M16 agents don't have tea they have bricks and lemons.
oh bye flo *watches her and Dragona escape* I wonder what there running from
*sits down* hmmmm when my freind says sorry to me I say you should be to hehehe
he is dead now he can have what ever he wants..
*aims at kallitas head*
sorry but you didnt write your fanfic in time..
AHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH I DON'T WANT TO BE A HOSTAGE I WANT TO LIVE ....
THERES SO MUCH TO DO WITH MY LIFE LEARN HOW TO DRIVE SEE AND OSRERACH AND SNOW TIGGER IN PERSON SKY DIVE OFF A PLANE AND GET A CHANCE TO PLAY MASS EFFECT 3!
*lets go of nicolette*
shutup
Kallista you have a gun aiimed at your head ..,. no need to panic you
*Sits in the middle of the library and starts to levitate*
Awesome!
*Flies out the window, sees the SWAT team staring and remembers that magic isn't meant to be done in front of mortals*
Oh shit.
*falls off building* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
*watches kallista giving out medals*
*aims for heart and is ready to pull the trigger when terrasect comes and attacks*
*a massive swordfight happens*
*terrasect dies*
*stands on top of building*
KALLISTA YOU MAY LIVE I HAVE WORSE POPLE TO KILL!!!
*300 meters from ground I'll miss you life *clenches eys*
*wanders into the room. looks around at all the crazy things happening. falls over*
the librarian gave me good money to kill you..
*nightinggale hits her arm* ow ... no wait your my rescue .... ahhh
*Struggles against all the government agents because they wan to dissect her to find out how she can float in the air*
AHHHH!!! HELP!!!! I CAN"T FIGHT ALL 500 OF THEM!
*100 meters from ground* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Puts a trampoline under Nicolette*
remind me why im good again...
*shoots all 500 goverment agents and some 6 year old*
shit he was ment to be in pain before he died...
and i thought i was bonkers
Thanks Flo
*Looks down at dead 6 year old*
Meh, he wasn't into SP.
*hits trampoline and goes flying up in air again*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
kallista i can shoot her for a good price...
*comes inspect the kid*
i swear that he was the kid from the first bok that staphnie waved to...
Thats true actually Medusa was turned into a monster the only pity they took on her was to make sure woman couldn't enter her lair so medusa could never hurt a woman
*Levitates up and gives Nicolette a parachute*
*folows kallista incase florence gets order to assassinate her*
wait I'm still in the air!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! can someone stop this please
Bye all, I've gotta go to athletic's now. BYE!
Back...
*mouthes fanfiction and disappers into trees*
i'll be watching you!!
*laughs evily*
*darkane throws her a parachute* THANKS!
*puts it on and opens it sending her rushing upwards gently nudges herself over to the building then when shes above the roof unstaps herself fall onto roof and runs with Kallista and Darkane*
Flo don't take me hostage again I don't enjoy it when you throw me off buildings
Heya Dragona
What?
Florence, you killed me?
And I thought you was my friend...
*starts crying*
And I helped you escape...
*continues crying, water up to everyone's ankles*
im a assassin now i dont care...
And I stabbed Tesseract through the head when he was trying to attack you...
*water up to everone's waist*
*pats Dragonas back* it's ok she tried to kill me and Kallista to
*uses magic yorkshire pudding to make me come back to life*
I won't get revenge... I'm too sad... I've been betrayed!
*water up to everyone's neck*
Dragona please stop crying remember your taller then me and your going to drown me *goes onto tiptoes to avoid water blocking off her mouth breathing*
*rolls eyes and moves spots loading sniper rifle*
*runs off and hides where no one will find me and I can cry in peace*
*starts swimming around in Dragona's tears* if you want sympathy, to bad, im not going to give it to
Dragona wait! *sighs* Flo your not going to try to kill me are you ... did the ninga kiwi hire you to kill me???
*runs screaming to her goose cage and fiddles with the lock* open!!
*parachutes in from nowhere and grabs Florence's sniper and pushes Florence on the floor*
*hypmotises Florence*
You are not an assassin...
*cries*
If you try anything I'll cry more and drown you... just incase the hympmosis didn't work...
*Folows dragona still eying kallista*
Ha stupid thing you still dont relise that my eyes are a un-natural red and that the old florence is gone...
*hides in tree while watching kallista eat ice cream*
*calls the green faced hag that scared nicolette with the ninja kiwi*
she knows...
*floats around on a raft* are we done with the craziness yet?
*kicks Florence and holds her off the edge of the building*
Come back or I'll let go...
*Runs back in before going to athletics and changes kallista back with the help of the ninja kiwi*
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