Random Replies to Random People

Today I shall be addressing comments. Yes, comments- the things I asked you not to leave and yet you CONTINUE TO DEFY ME!

Ahem.

I read all the comments, if for no other reason than to curse the day you ever sat down at your computer, but I don’t have the time to respond to them- which is why you comment leavers are getting a blog entry all to yourselves.

Aren’t you special?

People ask about the movie a lot. And I mean, a LOT. An insane amount of my valuable time is taken up answering this question. (Actually an even more insane amount of my valuable time is taken up eating cheese, but answering this question comes a close second...). All I can say is that there is no news on the movie yet, and so no news of any auditions. If and when we have good news, I will let you know, so that you may start to worship me as a god of some sort. Possibly with offerings of cheese.

Some minions want me to read their fanfiction, but the sad truth is, if I read ONE minion’s fanfiction, I will have no excuse not to read ANOTHER minion’s fanfiction, and then I will spend my DAYS reading fanfiction, and not actually writing anything, and my head would explode. Especially if I found some fanfiction that was BETTER than the books, in which case I would have to track down that particular minion and DESTROY him/her/it. I could do it, you know. I have special ninja-leprechaun powers. Oh yes.

There are some of you out there who have defended Transformers 2 and Van Helsing, claiming that they are actually “good” films. Allow me a moment to laugh at your small, small brains. Van Helsing is a TRAVESTY of a film and should be put down immediately. It’s not fun, it’s not energetic, it’s just BAD. And as for Transformers 2... I saw the first one and I thought, there is no way the sequel could be worse. I was wrong. I was so, so wrong.

Strangely, though, absolutely no one has left me a comment defending GI Joe, and for that, you have my grudging respect.

Video games get the occasional mention in the comments. I have both played and loved the Metal Gear Solid series, and Modern Warfare. I did laugh, however, at the comment from the girl whose parents thought a PS2 guitar would work with a Wii. Old people are so funny with the stupid things they think...

Someone, by the way, has DARED to mention the possibility that I come across as “arrogant” in this Blog. Pffft! Is it “arrogance” to KNOW that I am simply superior? Is it “arrogance” to BEHAVE like we have all accepted this fact? Is THAT “arrogance”? IS IT?

Oh. Oh, well in that case, yes, I suppose I AM arrogant. And you can’t tell me you don’t love it.

Evidently, there are some comic readers out there. Deadpool and Fullmetal Alchemist, eh? I read neither, but probably should read both. I’m a big Spider-Man fan, love the Avengers, Kick-Ass is wonderful, and Hellboy is sublime. Basically, I love any comic that is written by someone who is better than me. Reading this stuff just fills me with enthusiasm to do even better myself- the same reaction I get after reading a good book or watching a great film.

In my own way I... I suppose I kind of hope to have the same effect on somebody else. That, maybe, hopefully, one of you out there, my minions, will read something I’ve written and then, fired up with creativity and energy, you will go and create your OWN work, and it will be glorious to behold. Maybe you’ll draw a comic, or make a movie, or write a book, and it’s all because you once read Skulduggery Pleasant...

Of course, if you write a book and it beats me to the Number One spot in the Bestseller list, I will hunt you down with my ninja-leprechaun powers, and you will never be safe again.

EVER.

That is all.