I'm working hard. Writing fast. Deadline's looming. But while I work, other people have been working too, such as the awesome folks responsible for the covers...
And so, without further ado...
Friday, November 13, 2015
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4,985 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3001 – 3200 of 4985 Newer› Newest»I think both me and Gemma made it clear that we had nothing against Jai or Chloe.
I don't have anything against you roleplaying either.p
(Thanks Star
I don't ignore people if they are ere
But if say, there's a conversation between gem and keiron and I don't know the subject and it happens hours before I come on, I'm not going to reply )
@Chloe: Well obviously
(I don't understand though... I can't remember ignoring anyone ...)
@Chloe: I can't remember you ignoring people either. Although you know, unreliable memory. But you've never ignored me to my knowledge and have sometimes gone out of your way not to.
I think Gemma just feels kind of insecure but it's neither of your faults (and she did say that).
(I don't understand why she should feel ignored... She hasn't been on here when I have been... She only manages to one on when igo to bed or during the day when I'm in college...)
You know what? fucking forget it. I won't fucking comment again. I did make it clear i wasn't blaming you cause you get too involved in it i was just saying what i felt. And now you fucking hate me for it? that's bloody rich.
And i upset Jai? well both of you fucking upset me but you don't GIVE A SHIT DO YOU? i tell you i'm upset then you get pissed off at me! why do i even fucking bother!?
(What did I ever do to you? And as I recall you haven't been the nicest person to us
I just don't get how I bloody ignored you)
(Maybe I wouldn't have so much of a problem if we did ignore people because we get too involved
But when have we actually done it?)
Just watched tourettes hero Jess Tom on BBC 4. She's so amazing...so glad i watched it.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/live/bbcfour
November 16, 2015 at 12:46 AM
I was actually really sad that no one replied to this one because it was really good and really important…I was wanting people to actually watch it which is why I posted it.
(Doing a presentation for marketing cause we get 10 extra marks for it. I'm doing mine on cartoons vs anime. And yes it's very bias but still. it's not a fair fight anyway...
Also listening to my birthday playlist on youtube to see how long it is and how many songs i'll have to cut out)
November 27, 2015 at 5:45 PM
(I have something wonderful to share with you all.)
Tada! my favourite ship -------> drawn by one of the shippes(?)
November 29, 2015 at 11:45 PM
Fair enough no one was on for this one.
And that's just on this blog.
This post i mean.
I think Gemma just feels a bit insecure and so is sort of subconsciously looking for signs of ignoring.
Like, have you ever thought someone was someone and interpreted their actions in a certain way, and then as soon as you find out who they really are your perception of their actions and intentions change as you have certain biases for the interpretation of the actions of that partocular person? Well, I think Gemma - unintentionally - is looking at everyone's actions with the bias that they might not like her etc., and that's influencing her interpretation if their actions. (Of course I could be wrong. I'm just telling you my opinion on the situation. Opinions can be unreliable and mine are no exception). And so she will interpret Jai and Chloe's actions in an overly negative way. And it's not Jai and Chloe fault. And Gemma knows that and said that. But it's not Gemma fault either.
( hey baby ... -hugs tightly- )
Oh yay I can be here on school wifi apparently.
( hey star .... )
There's a fight and I am not involved? What is this blasphemy?!
Right I have decided it is morally wrong to blackmail Cat into going to the doctors
Which is a bit relieving as now there's nothing more I can do
@Fera: XD
I am hurt, ha! *does a girly spin and thrusts hips sideways in a girly way*
(I am not saying more on the matter
I've passed my theory test this morning!)
I am not saying anything on the matter
well done.
@Chloe: :) Oh good!
(Thanks guys ^.^
Now I can put in for my practical test XD )
(*watches impractical jokers*)
My bus has been late pretty much every day for the past few weeks so I have decided to devote the extra few minutes of my life to stalking as it's much more fun than standing there in the cold.
Stalking is actually rather fun. :)
(Star... XD )
@Chloe: XD
I'm trying to work out where Cat is last period every day so I can find her and walk to the bus with her.
Except if I, like, asked her, it would take all the fun out of funding her so I'm trying to work it out without asking her.
I know she has chemistry last on a Monday in Kingston and maths last on a Friday in Riding, and I know she's free last period on a Thrusday. On a Wednesday she has history last but I don't know where she has it - it's either in the temporary block or in Kingston. Next week I'll wait outside Kingston and if she's not there then the week after I'll try to get to the temporary block - but if I don't get out my lesson fast enough she could leave before I get there so I'll have to hurry.
It's so fucking FUN. Why am I not a professional stalker?
(Because you'd get arrested XD )
@Chloe: Oh yeah.
Forgot stalking was an arrestable offence.
I actually did.
Although technically only the unskilled stalkers get arrested. If you're good enough you wouldn't be noticed. In theory.
Although if no one notices you're stalking them I guess you're causing no distress to anyone so you shouldn't need to he arrested anyway.
(You should be ... *thinks* a journalist who gets the latest goss? Isn't that stalking ?)
@Chloe: Ugh yes but I don't like that type of journalism. :P
(Okay XD )
:) Anyway, how're you? :)
(I is good thanks
You?)
@Chloe: :) Good.
:) Yeah, I'm fine. Worried about Cat (she's still not going to the doctors, and every day she gets more ill. She's been ill for almost two weeks now. She's still insisting on goign to school, despite the fact she's too ill to do school work. Today she was doing maths in a free period, and she was struggling to understand what the questions were asking her and then couldn't remember how to do the simplest of things (I mentioned y = mx + c and she was like "but where do you get the m from?" and I was like "M is the gradient" (we've known this since year nine and y = mx + c has become second nature to us over the years) and she was like "but . . . oh holly I don't get it *leans on her hands and tenses up her face in pain and illness*")
She's such a stubborn idiot.
I'm trying to decide whether it's morally wrong to blackmail her or not.)
:) Gtg, dinner.
(She really needs to go
She sounds like jack XD
Okay ^.^)
Back. :)
(*glomps seren*)
(Hello. Sorry I've not been on these past few days. I've spent most of my free time reading The Departure and Zero Point, and I'm currently reading the final book in the trilogy, Jupiter War. It... it got messed up.
Anyways... how have you guys been? Getting ready to decorate your Christmas trees?)
(*glomps kassy*
Tree is already up and glitzed
I is good
You?)
(@Dannielle No, I can't remember a single instance where I've lied to anyone on this blog.
@Gemma Profile pictures look awful on my phone. They're so distorted it can be hard to make out what I'm looking at, never mind if it's any good.
@Chloe I'm fine. Just reading this... screwed up book.
We haven't even got the tree, idk when we'll start with the decorations. Probably closer to Christmas, though.)
(I have my fluffy Santa jacket)
(*nods*
*hugs her warmly*)
(*huggles* I miss you!)
(I miss you too. I miss a lot of people here... :/)
(We haven't texted in ages :-()
(I know we haven't.)
(*pinches your cheeks* )
(*stares at her*
Really?)
(whaaaaaat?)
@Kas: :) Was wondering where you were. Hi. :)
(*pokes Chloe*
Hey, Star! I was reading! How are you?)
(*pokes back*)
(*poooooooookes*)
@Kas: :) I'm alright, thanks. Not ill. :P
You?
(*double pokes*)
(I'm fine. Would really like you to blackmail Cat into getting herself treated, but hey, what can you do, right?)
(*pokes her incredibly slowly*)
(*quadruple pokes*)
@Kas: I'm not sure if that would be morally right. Like. I tend to really object to people pushing their viewpoint on what's 'best' for someone onto them when they protest.
But at the same time, I would only be doing it because I care about her and want her to be better.
But also, I don't want to make her life worse than it is already.
But what if she doesn't get better.
But if she gets any worse then surely she'll just collapse adn won't be able to function and then her parents will see she needs a doctor.
But -
yeah. see? internal conflict.
Eitehr way, Lizzie's not roleplaying with her until she sees a doctor and I'm not sure she's speaking to her until she sees a doctor either.
Cat's still refusing. Despite the fact that if she doesn't roleplay or write regularly she starts hallucinating.
Daaaaaaaaaaaymmm what is wrong with her???
(@Star You've got to ask yourself what matters more to you: the relationship you have with your friend, or their physical health. Choosing to protect the relationship would make you more selfish, wouldn't it?
But going against your friend, breaking their trust, just to ensure that they'll get better... that's less selfish.)
(And moral rights are subjective to the point of absurdity.)
@Kas: *laughs* Oh, I'm totally not scared of ruining our relationship. That is really not a fear I have. Like. We're constantly arguing and saying mean things to each otehr and neither of us even consider that an issue.
I'm not scared of people I know. I'm scared of people I DON'T know. I'm scared to go talk to authority figures at my school about her. I would be scared to book a doctor's appointment for her, but I asked google and that's not something I can do so it's okay. I would be scared to phone her parents to tell her to take her to the doctors, but I don't have their number and I can't do that so it's okay. I'm really trying to get up the courage to go tell someone at school about her, though.
But seriously. I'm not worried about ruining our friendship. That is just not something that will happen over this.
(*writes* )
(Then tell her to go. Don't go behind her back, tell her that either she goes or you will find a way to make her go.)
(*tacklehugs Chloe* :P)
(*yelps and is tacklehugged* nuuuuu)
@Kas: What do you think I've been telling her? :P
(For the record, a few years ago my friends went to my head of year behind my back because they were worried about my mental health.
I was very pissed off at them because there was NOTHING WRONG WITH ME and even if there was THE THING THEY THOUGHT WAS WRONG WITH ME WASN'T WRONG WITH ME and like DUDE what the fuck.
So yeah.
I'd rather not do that to Cat because it is fucking annoying when people do that.
But she is really very ill and clearly being a complete idiot and Lizzie agrees with me so I must be right, so I think going to someone might be acceptable.)
(Wbd but hi.)
Kiana: *narrows her eyes at him*
Mark: Mm.. what's your favourite colour?
Valnum: Good.
James: Because your undying gratitude has no value. I can't profit from it in any way. I don't like you miss wolf and nor do I like your friends so unless you can give me a very good reason as to why I should help you then I'll be going.
:) Hi Jai. *hugs*
(*glomps Jai*)
Felix; whaaaat?
Clocky: hmm... I don't know... Red?
Because... I would be in your debt and do anything you ask?
(Hey, Jaimie!
@Star Tell her you're concerned enough to tell people. And once you're concerned, saying "I'm fine" isn't going to do anything to change that concern. So either she goes, or you make her.
Fun fact: my cousin's friend, who she usually walked to and from school with, has died a few days ago. He just dropped dead. Maybe if he'd been taken to a hospital when the symptoms appeared, instead of shrugging them off, he'd still be alive.
Msd)
(*tickles Chloe* :P)
@Kas: I've threatened to tell people.
Lizzie was literally crying and begging her last night and it didn't make her go to the doctor's.
I could tell her that, but she'd tell me she was fine and she wasn't ill enough to need to go.
Seriously. She is RIDICULOUSLY stubborn. It's actually rather incredible.
(Hey star! *hugs* still worried about catty?
*glomps Chloe back!*
*Huggles Kassy* hey!)
Kiana: *yawns*
*-nothing.-*
Mark: Mm.. ever killed anything?
James: anything?
(@Star She doesn't know she's fine. She's not a doctor. Tell people.
She's an imbecile.)
(*hugs Jai* :)
@Jai: Yep.
@Kas: I could tell her that, but's she just say "I'm fine" or "shhhh".
Alright. Um. I'll try to tell people.
If she carries on being ill though then surely her parents will realise right? Or like I said it must get to a point where she literally won't be able to get up.
(You should probably tell people star. How long has she been like this?)
(@Star Call her out on her bullshit and try to get help.)
(@Star Hiding things is ridiculously easy. Don't count on anybody helping her if she's not telling them anything's wrong.)
Felix: I love ou kiana
Clocky: a spider or two...
What do you want me to do?
Kiana: *-I love you too!-*
Mark: A bunny? A deer? A human? A vampire? A werewolf?
James: Nothing at this current moment.
Felix: *kisses softly* shall we go home?
Clocky: *shakes head*
But will you do it if I agree?
@Jai: Well, she first mentioned the stomach pains not last weekend but the weekend before, and she'd been feeling them for a while by then. She started feeling properly ill a few days after that. She's been getting increasinly ill as time's gone on - or maybe she's been this ill for a while but she's getting a bit resistent to painkillers - she's been talking four paracetamol (you're meant to sake two) along with ibuprofen and aspirin (you're not meant to take them together) and last night she was lying on the floor crying because she was so in pain and ill. So um. Yeah.
@Kas: Her parents know she's ill, but I think they probaby think she just has flu or summat.
Okay.
Kiana: *nods sleepily*
*home means less dangers*
Mark: Good. Stay that way.
*grins*
James: *his hand glows bright green*
Shake on the deal, that you'll do whatever I ask, once and only once, if I revive your friend.
(@Star if no one has called the doctors/noticed how serious it is by now, you should probably take action.)
Felix: shall I carry you ?
Clocky: now that's impossible... I am a wolf
Okay... *teluctantly takes his hand*
@Jai: *nods*
Kiana: *shakes her head, jumping up and running ahead*
Mark: That doesn't mean you have to kill. Cole isn't a killer unless his pack is challenged. And other than me I'm sure Eira has never even come close to killing anyone.
James: *the green glow surrounds inky, sending a sharp spike of pain through her, like molten fire, before the pain subsides*
Show me where your friend is.
Felix: *laughs+ slow down, I have my bike
Clocky: *chews her lip* sure?
Okay, to my place *breathes heavily*
Kiana: *pauses and nods, waiting for him*
Mark: Of course. I mean, most wolves don't hunt.
James: *grabs her arm, teleporting to her place*
*she's still glowing green*
*tight black shadow clothes have covered his dressing gown now*
Felix; ^sits on his bike* hop on
Clocky: really?
*leads him to the basement and lifts the cover off of suki*
Kiana: *hops onto the back, gripping the seat*
Mark: Yeah. They just buy food like normal people. Why would you hunt when it's more.. moral to buy food.
James: *I love how there's a dead body in the cellar*
*lays his hands on Suki's forehead and over her heart*
*closes his eyes and grits his teeth*
Felix: *revs the engine before shooting off*
Clocky; true... But is it more moral? I mean... They are raised in horrible conditions without knowing what freedom is like...
*wayches *
Kiana: *helps, wrapping her arms tightly around him*
Mark: Would you prefer to hunt?
James: *Inky slowly starts to feel a burning sensation*
*shakes slightly before a blinding bright light flashes and Suki takes in a breath*
*and the pain fades again from inky, the glow sinking into her skin*
There.
Felix: *laughs*
Clocky; it seems more moral...
*collapses to her knees with the burning sensation and breathes heavily*
Suki: *wyes open slowly*
*blinks*
Kiana: *peaks over his shoulder, smiling at the wind*
Mark: Okay then, from now on me and you can hunt.
James: I'll be seeing you again miss flame.
*teleports away*
Valnum: *is "asleep" on the ground*
*more fainted due to blood loss type thing*
(Sorry for disappearing, had to prep food and eat and now I must go to town to buy food so have a good evening/night!
@Star You must take action.)
(Bye kas!!!)
@Kas: I'll try. D: Thanks.
(I is off now
Nos da)
(Nos da Chloe?
How are you star?)
@Jai: Fine. :) Trying to work out physics. :P
You?
(Nervous. Petrified. Nervous.)
@Jai: :/ Try taking deep breathes. Before my assessments, I found that that decreased the anxiety somewhat, although it was only a temporary measure; if I stopped, the anxiety returned.
(Mmmm. It's just French. French is evil.)
@Jai: Yeah. I've never felt that kind of anxiety for any assessments other than languages speaking assessments. French = evil. :)
(I'm fine with writing assessments, but with speaking ones it just triggers my fear of people and, like, SCARY.
Also I did my lnaguages assessments before my GCSEs and hence before I'd got desensitized to all the exams.)
Right Cat might possibly have got a bit better.
She ate food without feeling ill, and she's typing as if she's feeling better.
So. Yeah. There is light at the end of the tunnel. :)
So after many hours of thought (jokes xD)
I ded to:
Creativity!
The random bouts of creativity that strike you at random moments, where you just get an idea and roll with it for the fun of it, in what ever art form fits you best
Be it drawing, writing, painting anything! those random bouts are important! Because they can be the start of something big, who knows
Uniqueness, as with these random bouts of creativeness, uniqueness goes hand in hand with it
The random ideas will be unique to you! that's the joys of it all like
And finally unity
Because seriously, unity is important it means everyone gets along and what not
You know what I mean
Yeah
@Rhos: :) Hear hear.
Hear hear
(Hear hear
*whispers* green is not a creative colour
Nos da)
(Can't bloody be bothered with this test...life is too short to be spent studying fucking accounting. Ugh!)
@Gemma: . . . then why are you studying it?
(I have an online test to do which i could have done today or tomorrow. i should probably do it tonight though...i have work till 6:30 tomorrow. Test closes at 9.)
Night...
*Underwater*
*Shriek*
Ysaad..
*The Crucible sits among a clearing, picking at his fingernails* *The trees have been, unceremoniously, blasted to the forest floor, and he has, unceremoniously too, raised large boulders from the ground to create an earthen monolith* *A little pesky bee flies by his face; he seats at it* *The heat is sticky*
*swats
-
*He continues with his nails for a while, before he shifts slightly, becoming the face of a very young, healthy boy* *His shakes his shoulders back, and adapts to his new body* *And so as well*
*a crow flies over to perch in the nearest intact tree, observing*
(Apologies)
*The Crucible, looming like an old willow branch, has chestnut rivulets of hair, accompanied by dark, dark holes in his eyes*
*Dressed in a finely-tailored, expensive suit* *Of course, aristocratic taste is in his lineage*
*He takes out his phone, and, in a moment, disappears*
*shifts into a human and stands on the branch instead, his eyes becoming black as he looks for traces of where he might have disappeared to*
(sup bitchs? )
Good evening.
I am everywhere, and I am nowhere, dear boy. I'm within and without; males, females- even in You. Even in the dozens of names inside of you.
*He picks at his fingernail again, to get a cuticle*
Alright. Why have you set this up here?
((O_O))
*He dutifully ignores him*
Do you know what is the greatest absurdity of this world?
We die.
We all die.
*He raises a singular, cool shoulder* We live- we speak, we walk, we climb, we run; we have a family, get an education if we can, we perhaps get married, though more often than not is it unhappy. We life these insignificant lives and, even if life was a never ending garden, we are still cast out into exile by death. Then, we are dust.
I'm just saying; even the happiest of people die and, after death, we don't exist anymore, but as ambience. So what is the point of it all? To love? To laugh? And for what end, if we all die?
*blinks* Would you like me to answer that, or will you ignore me again if I do?
*Considers that* You're right. I will ignore you.
So you're essentially just talking to yourself now.
(*hugs Noelle, if she's cool with that* Its great to see you on again Noelle!
I have two French exams today, after a French lesson as well.)
((*watches with interest :)
@Jai: The after-a-French-lesson is good. You can last-minute revise then. :)
(@Star our teacher won't let us revise.)
@Jai: Wtf!!!!!!!!!!!
(Ikr, we're busy writing our stupid speaking paragraphs.)
(Hello. I had the weirdest dream(s) today. I don't usually dream...)
I dream.
Too much...
(@Duggy Ever see Brandi Carlile in your dreams?)
I don't dream that much. Occasionally though I have like a week where I dream every night. :P I usually forget my dreams, too . . .
( hey guys :D blooming knackered btw :P lol stayed up most the night installing a lot of things on my new laptop :D )
(*waves at Duggy, Star and Keiron*
@Star I rarely dream. But I can have good dreams when I do dream.
@Keiron Would you be interested in buying the new Battlefront?)
( already got it Kas :P dirt cheap too :D :P )
(*pokes K!*)
( I have more than one tab open :P *pokes back* )
(check facebook for a size comparison of a 15.6 " to a hard back :P
)
(@Keiron How cheap and where?)
(Well this place is empty...)
(Hello.
Apologies for the temporary absence. I have been attempting to focus on my writing. Not that it is especially working, but nevertheless.)
(The song 'sweet things ' by pretty reckless reminds me of larry lesalle )
(The Pretty Reckless are one of my favourites.)
(Same here ^.^
Hi soph! How've you been ?)
(I have been alright, I suppose. Yourself?)
*As he reappears, he is wearing a thin suit made of lead* *The material is leathery, yet he has managed it* *Scratches his forehead as he places the dead cat on the ground*
(I am okay, still angry over something that happened earlier but I'm calming down
Hey Cru!)
(FUCK THERES A SPIDER HANGING OVER ME!!! GET IT AWAH )
@Kas YES FIVE TIMES
THOSE ARE LIKE THE ONLY GOOD DREAMS!
The rest are .... Disturbing.
May I ask what you have a cat for?
( @kas only £600 :P came with my laptop as it's a starwars special edition :P )
@Dugglyn: Disturbing in what way?
Hi. Might be here. Might not.
((Kitty... D:))
Have you been married already, Effie? I don't quite remember when it was that we last spoke, and if the date has already passed.
No, I have not. Trying to find a day that works. :-(
Hopefully later this month!
Then I wish you luck finding a date.
Good god I read some comments, I'm in A Christmas Carol and I feel like I just read it via comments.
Now I'm off to go get ready for dress rehearsal. Adios.
Thanks dude.
(Hi.
@Zafira Have fun! :)
Hey, Sophia. Missed you. How've you been? :)
Was watching The Empire Strikes Back to get into the Star Wars spirit.
@Keiron Someone in TEST is selling their code for £21, which is a good deal considering the game is £50 on Origin.)
(@Effie Are you new??????????????????? *offers warm hugs*
*and cookies*)
Yo Kas.
I approve of your choice in movies.
Nah, not new.
Just unable to comment without the cooperation of a friend.
*hugs, and takes a cookie for later but doesn't eat one now because I was just at a holiday party and I had way too much unhealthy food*
(Just rewatching it, last time I saw the trilogy is August.
Who are you, Effie????? I don't remember you :///)
I'm Effie?
It's not always short for the same thing though.
I'm not sure if we've actually met, tbh. I think the last time I was able to comment was like 2013-ish? I've "ghosted" since then though, and I know who you are.
...
That sounds creeeeeeepy, doesn't it?
The feline? I hit her. She is dead now
(Ah, I see. I don't think we've met, in that case. Pleased to meet you, Effie.
Crucible??? Have we met?)
:-( Poor kitty
If you try to do that to Petunia, I will eat your soul, weird and creepy dude.
Nice to meet you too, Kas. *dramatic introductory bow*
(*bows*
And it's time for me to go to sleep now. If I can put down the phone.
Get away, phone!
-_-
Good night, guys!)
Good luck sleeping, Kas. It's a skill.
Well, if that's the only reason, would you mind if I took her?
@Star
I keep being shot or shooting people or having people I trust and like send assassins after me.
All these things have happened multiple times and typically the emotions associated with them are quite strong and so even if the dream is not /too awful/ the emotions can make it ten times worse.
The one where my Irish dance teacher sent assassins after me happened a a week ago on the night before dance class and at class I felt this irrational terror and I kept trying to avoid my teacher.
It still wasn't gone yesterday at dance.
@Dugglyn: :( :( :( :(
(Welp, that Accounting test was shite. 52% :-/ And i have Uni in 9 hours so i'm going to sleep. So happy that i can just chill this weekend...no Uni no work. Just spending time with family and friends :)
No, I do not believe we have. *He glances over* *He downloads*
I'll assume I'm still being ignored, then. *scoops the cat up, and heals her body, before returning her soul to her*
*The cat meows- she is large and orange* *ashe purrs *
*The Crucible pauses* You always were a little soft.
Sorry, Alice, if I did sound like I ignored you. I'm sorta half here today been at school until 7 or 8pm....
All week no less so yeah I'm out of it. K I should sleep *slowly dies
*The Crucible sharpens his fingernails*
So yesterday at dance my friends and I were talking and somehow I mentioned I used to bang my head on things as a baby when I got angry and one time I banged my head on the oven and it really hurt (i don't remember, but my dad said he was worried I was going to get a concussion) so I never hit the oven again and they thought it was the funniest thing ever.
And when my dad came they asked him about it and he told the whole story and my Irish dance teacher was listening and I was just sort of dying and laughing hysterically and I swear they're never going to let me live that down XD
And my Irish dance teacher's first response was "oooh, that's what happened!" And just XD
(Also a good reference of how awesome my Irish dance teacher is and how stupid that dream was)
(Also this role play is really interesting and I am enjoying reading it!)
Reading it? And not join?
((I may have time to join tomorrow. I hope so, at least. I should also probably say that if I join and have to disappear at any point in time, I don't mind in the slightest if you continue without me. I could also maybe distantly join now, if you don't have to sleep soon.))
I don't know what to add.
Yet!
Also I don't have much time (just finished homework and now I'm going to bed. Tomorrow I have school and I'm going to a friend's and then dance) until this weekend but hopefully this weekend I'll be on! You chose a good weekend for me because I'll actually be home! (We're going skiing most weekends and our place doesn't have WiFi or cell service) :D
Who, me? *pauses* I suppose I was. *strokes the cat*
Of course.
*The Crucible shrugs one shoulder, and wanders off in the other direction, lifts up a mask that straps around to the back of his head, also made of lead*
*pets the cat for a few moments longer, and then glances through her memories, to see where she lives*
*Is at home with her own cat, Petunia/Peanut (Effie named him Petunia, but Rook calls him peanut because he thinks it suits him better. It kind of does. He's peanut-colored, not Petunia-colored. He doesn't mind that Effie calls him Petunia though, as long as he gets plenty of love and food)*
*for some reason, she keeps thinking about Blogland*
*she can't remember when she was last there*
*maybe she should visit soon...*
Some people may say that I am a natural-born liar. Some people may say that I set out to hurt people. Some people may say that I'm a sick human being that thrives off the pain of others.
The scary bit is, I do not disagree with any of this. I have intentionally caused every single one of you pain to some degree, I refuse to hide that fact. Some worse than others, but still pain was delivered. I have lied. Cheated. Ruined relationships just for the drama of it.
But might I remind you of one of the worst things of human nature that we all overlook?
We cannot see past our mistakes. We focus on our flaws and the flaws of those around us. I have lied, cheated, hurt... But I have also been here for you when you were alone. I have been here for you when you were the one hurting. I have been there when you needed me. I have screwed up my academic life, my social life, and quite possibly my family life for all of you. I have gone days without sleep to make sure you were okay. I have focused more on you than my studies. I have done so much for you, even if you do not realise it, and you all focus on my flaws and on how I have failed you.
I deserve all the words, all the insults and threats and disgust you can offer me ten-fold. After all, we have been through, I deserve death for my crimes against what I still consider as my family. But...
But just maybe...
All the good that you cannot remember and all the good that you can, maybe that can make up for it. I have been here through the thick and the thin, standing up for those who could not stand up for themselves.
Stiltskin Brave is a name you all probably do not remember. He was a friend of ours in the earlier days and did not have the high-standard literacy skills all of us on here possess. And those of you who were there at the time were picking on him, discriminating him for his writing. It would have been easier to 'go with the flow', but I did not. I stood up for him, against all of you.
And I stood up for Zaf when no one else would, when you were all picking on her. I did not have to. I could have let her fall under your words that you threw at her like knives, but I did not. I was there for her when you all were not. When you all decided on being the ones to intentionally cause pain. When you were the ones who did not care how the words affected her, as long as you caused her agony. I was there. Standing against you all and willing to ruin everything I had created over two and a half years for my sister.
...
Maybe it is different for me - an Aussie thing or a personal thing I don't know. You all seem to attack others in a group, and I am the one who will not tolerate that.
Just remember next time you think of me, I am not the only person who has done shitty things in their lives. You all have too. I am not the only monster on this blog. But I have been there to stop you because that's what family does.
But might I ask...? Where were you all when I needed someone to stop me?
I was there Danni. I e-mailed you but you didn't want my help. That's the difference.We try to help you but you didn't want our help.
I didn't help you before that because of the whole John thing.
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