- Sit down at desk.
- Open Word document.
- Look at blank page.
- Become anxious.
- Decide that the problem is the font.
- Change font.
- Be much happier.
- Look at blank page.
- Make cup of tea/coffee.
- Drink tea/coffee while looking at blank page.
- Do not check Twitter/email/Facebook/Tumblr.
- Check them a little.
- Take a break.
- Sit back down.
- Write something.
- Change font.
- Be much happier.
- Take out phone in case someone wants to ring you.
- Do not play Angry Birds.
- Do not play it.
- Play it a little.
- Put phone away.
- Delete what you have written.
- Write something else.
- Read back over it.
- Shrug. Decide to fix it in the rewrite.
- Congratulations! You've started the book!
Sunday, December 14, 2014
How To Write Books Good, Part 3
Beginning the book:
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4,873 comments:
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Hello, Scarlet Melody.
*sighs again*
*hugs Tia*
Please do not be upset that you don't know who I was. I feel that it would be better this way... Please forgive me...
(Bye.)
*hugs Tia*
Please do not be upset that you don't know who I was. I feel that it would be better this way... Please forgive me...
Fine. Do whatever. It's your choice.
Just know that it is impossible for me to look at you without seeing you in a mask.
But that's just me.
What are your plans for the future, uh, Scarlet Melody?
Scarlet Melody is a beautiful name...
:)
(I nearly got mauled by a dog :c)
I'm sorry, Scarlet.
*hugs Scarlet tightly*
*whispers* Sorry :c
Thank you.
*smiles*
My plans...
The person I used to be still comes on sometimes. When she doesn't feel like herself, she will become me. That is why I feel better that you do not know who she was.
She does not like people to think of her differently, but sometimes, she wants to be different without people being upset about it.
*hugs Tia back*
Please do not be sorry. Are you hurt from the dog?
*growls*
Do you think that you've given me enough information for me to have a reasonable guess at who you are?
(One more question remains, I think.)
Hmm... last question. I was going to ask about time zones, but you said you'd be online in my afternoon, and you are, and that's good enough for me.
Instead, my last question is this: Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
(Wbd very soon, sorry.)
And I'm ok, the dog ran away. Uh, walked away. Well, I kinda walked away from it. At running speed.
*is taken aback by Tia's sudden behavior*
*whispers*
Yes, let me be myself...
*feels somewhat afraid*
So will you guess who I am?
That is good that you are not hurt...
*points to the top question
*is confused by what Tia means*
Have you ever emailed me? Is that what you are pointing to?
Do you think that you've given me enough information for me to have a reasonable guess at who you are?
I- I do not know...
And I believe Velvet has left... I thought her comment was towards you, as you said you would have to go soon...
I am sorry that I didn't say goodbye to her...
Good bye, Velvet.
And yes, I am going distant. Just not as distant or soon as expected. And might poof.
*nods in acknowledgement*
*wonders what Tia is going to say next*
Forgive me, Tia, I will also have to leave soon...
Jaimie.
Feel free to ignore any and all of my guesses, or email me or whatever. This guess is completely random. Heck, even I think it's wrong. So no. I think you said that we're friends. You said that? I was sure that I asked a day or two ago if anyone here considers me a friend. I really can't recall anyone other than Chloe considering me a friend.
So yes, that eliminates everyone else. I think you're Chloe.
I am sorry. I am not her. To be honest, I do not think I was there at the time you asked.
But you are still my friend... And I am sorry.
Now I must go. I may come back later.
*hugs Tia*
I am sorry... Good bye.
Good bye, Scarlet!
(And please, stop apologising.)
(-wonders who you-know-who is and why Tanya wants to get close to them..)
Hello, Sil. Got any clue who Scarlet is?
*cuddles up to Sil* c:
(And that was meant as physically close. Not romantically.)
(New Blog Post...)
48 comments till the next page.
47 now.
Filling up comments
Oh ssh are people here already?
Nvm
I'm filling up comments
You guys do know that when we fill up this post, it's back to 2012, right? You really sure you want to spam instead of just being patient?
I'm not filling up the comments because Fabi has a point.
Hello, Sophia.
Fabi, people have died today. really close to me. I told sil that we would be back to October, but I really have to get the next page.
(6 people confirmed dead.)
(So far...)
(So far..)
(Hello, Silente. *hugs her tightly* Where did we get to with the roleplay?)
(I'm so close to tears right now...Imagine the bodies laying on the streets and the kids seeing that.... god it must be horrible...)
(*hugs Soph and Gem tightly*
I..
Brb..)
(Ok Sil...)
(No offense, but a child dies every three seconds.
Death is everywhere. You're only hearing about it, and it's only affecting you, because it's on your doorstep now.)
100-000-200-012-001-110-110-221-000-011-120-112-202-000-001-121-121-200-012-010-100-001-202-012-000-121-012-120-121-110-012-000-202-200-221-100-112-021-000-202-120-000-021-210-100-110-202-000-202-200-100-121-000-111-012...
(Not that that makes their deaths not worth anything. Every single person in this universe is worth something, and every death is a horrible loss, and I am sorry those people died, and I am hoping their families will be okay.
Just - I don't think it's worth spamming a page for, when using up much-needed comments will not help them in any way, shape, or form. If it would help, of course, go for it, but the dedication will come in due course, and you can pay your respects in due course then.
Sorry if I've hurt anyone by saying this.)
(I rather agree with you, Star.)
(Thank you. :))
(I will be back soon.)
(I said that I wasn't going to spam the page so tbh, that comment wasn't needed.
and also, that's not why I'm upset. those kids could have watched all those people die. Watched all of them get ran over by a massive lorry)
(Oh . . . sorry.)
(Also . . . ouch. :/ :/)
*I don't tend to read the comments too carefully, particularly these days.
*particularly when I have something I want to say . . . what I want to say is so foremost in my mind that the rest of the comments just slide past me. It's often easier to scroll down, write it out and scroll back up again, but I don't always do that.
Then, don't jump to conclusions ok Star? that made me feel bad. As if I didn't care about everyone else who dies.
*hugs Gem* :c
(Not stressing out uni anymore. Why stress out when acceptance rate is 11%? I'm not getting in.
But I can try again in a year or two, when I've done Access to Higher Education and had work experience.
Yeah, no uni for me this year.)
*Hugs Tia*
(This way)
*hugs back*
(Oh, and my parents will likely kill me for this.
Yay! *waves arms about*
*dies*)
Technically, you didn't say you would stop; I had no reason to conclude that you would unless you did.
Also, I am sorry. I will try to avoid jumping to conclusions in the future.
*hugs Tia* It's okay. :/ It's your life.
(It is my life.
It is not okay.
It's meh.
*hugs Jai*)
(I am back.)
(Well, meh is better than worse than meh. :))
(I hate my brother... For my whole life I've been hearing things like, "I know you still use your kindle but I want you to give it to your brother..." or, "I know it's your favourite but give the last sweet to your brother..." and, "I know you have a whole essay due tomorrow but help your brother with his homework..." and I swear to god, if I hear anything like this again, I WILL BLOW! I mean tonight he wanted a new book on the kindle I had to give him and my mum didn't know how to buy one so I had to do it for him. I then realised that it was still connected to my debit card and told my mum that we should wait for my dad to get home so he could change it to his card. My mum then went ahead and bought it with my pocket money from my card as my brother laughed in the background... I just hate my mum making everything about him, my life is now devoted to my brother who doesn't care about all the things we do for him but just pulls a face and spits at us... *curls up and cries*)
:( :( :(
That sucks, Velvet . . . :(
If you don't mind me asking, how old is he?
*really sucks
(He's none but acts like a four year old... And he's just come up the stairs singing, "my sister is a grouch" over and over and I'm losing my mind!)
(You spent years building yourself up
I took weeks to tear you down
So caught up with ambition
Didn't pause or stop or frown
Now you're begging for forgiveness
As you drop to the floor
And I realise my mistake
Cause you ain't you no more
..Soph^^)
(Did you write that Jai?)
@Velvet: Well, give him a few years, then; I think, personally, that people (generally) only turn into decent human beings when they're about your age. I used to think my sister was a horrible person, but now she's thirteen and she's actually one of the kindest, awesomest people I've ever met and I'm so proud to know her . . . and she does a ton for my brother and my brother doesn't really care about her as much, but my brother's only ten and I think in a few years he'll probably become less annoying and more awesome, too.
Also, your mum probably just wants you to grow up as a decent human being who gives to other people . . . using your pocket money is /out of order/, though. -_- Do you think she/your dad will pay you back?
(@Velvet yes..)
(Make sure Soph sees it for me..)
*hugs Sil* Well, it was -
I think 'beautiful' is the wrong word, but I mean all the positiveness of 'beautiful' without meaning that word? :)
(No Star, it's just like when my brother had a charity event on the same day as me and I had to give up my money for the event, just so that he could go to his... That was also my pocket money, I never went to the charity event and was never paid back either... So you're saying he'll be as annoying for at least four more years? Nine is enough...
It's really good Jai!)
(Funny, really, because my sister hasn't really CHANGED. She just does being her in a more awesome, admiringful way. :P)
(My sister was never like this, neither was I according to her...)
@Velvet: Ugh. -_- That's unfair.
Maybe try telling them how unfair it is? I'm not awfully good at protesting for my rights, unfortunately, so my Advice Bank is a little empty . . .
Well, it's not like a switch is flipped. It just sort of gradually happens. So.
Hmm. Yeah. Some people are just worse than others. People have different pros and cons. But just because they seem to have worse cons doesn't mean the pros don't and never will exist?
(That is good, Jai.
So is This Way.
Might be going distant
But
Hi Velv! I don't have a brother or sister, but one of my friends does.
That guy is
If I was a serial killer, I'd kill him for kicks
I'm not saying he's a bad guy
But
He doesn't take care of his stuff
He doesn't take care of other people's stuff
And he is allowed to get away with it
Oh, boy, is he allowed to get away with it
His brother is, as far as I can tell, worse off than you, Velv.
Also, I probably wouldn't kill him if I was a serial killer
I know better than that
End line.)
(It seems I disappeared briefly.)
(Ok, I reconsidered. I'd totally kill him.
*hugs Jai* What's wrong?)
(Sil left you a message, Sophia.)
@Tia: Killing is rarely the answer.
(however, I can understand why killing some people sounds like the best possibility).
(I have seen, Tia.)
(Killing is never a solution to a domestic problem.)
Back
(Telling who, my parents? *laughs* Believe me, I've tried... Multiple times... And they nod and agree with me and how unfair my situation is, and they promise me to make things right and then they leave the room and go back to spoiling him and playing favourites...
And I wouldn't be so sure about that, I recently asked my parents if I could start karate and they said no. The next day they announce that they are signing my brother up for karate and now he beats me up frequently and gets away with it... I am awaiting my first black eye in anticipation...)
(Velvet I almost teared up at that you know... I'm so so sorry... I wish I had advice to give you. But it wouldn't be anything good. I've gave up on almost everything. All my friends leave me...the only person I have now is Adam and I'm just waiting for that to end.
I know how it is with brothers, they can do no wrong especially if they're younger. Even though I'm their only daughter. They always fight over me, and it's me that has to make an effort to try and get along with my father, but I don't want to! I hate him! I want to leave and never come back!)
Anyway... I dedicate this page to the 6 people that died in Glasgow today. They got ran over by a bin lorry. Not a very nice way to die... And there were many others injured. I hope that they and their families are alright and I hope that the families of the 6 dead will pull through...but I know it will be hard, especially this close to Christmas, so my thoughts are with them...
(Hear hear, I agree Gemma, sometimes I just want to be anywhere but at home, I now dread the weekends and holidays, last year when we were in Germany my parents kept commenting on how we "kids" we're ruining the holiday and my dad's birthday and I just wanted to die and I don't even know what I am supposed to do on Christmas, come down from my room and Blogland to be all happy and get along with everyone and smile when I give my brother the gift I spent so much of my money on and thank him when he gives me a rubbish gift and pretend there are no problems and the next day go back to living in my room and being the antisocial loner git that complains to everyone and no one likes to talk to...)
Hear, hear. :/
If you actually have black eyes, they'll probably listen to you a bit more. Seeing your daughter with an actual bruise on her eye is a bit . . . reality-inducing.
Maybe make a list of all the times it's happened and how often they said they would make it right and failed to?
Like, that would not only show them that this matters enough to you to put real effort into it, it would also kind of . . . prove to them that there's a problem.
Chi, if you expect things to end, they're much more likely to end.
*slides a glass half-full over water over to her :)*
That sucks, though. :/
(We like to talk to you, Velvet. :/)
(Hear hear, and I'm sorry, Velv and Gem.
*hugs them both*
Just try to stay strong.
...)
(Yeah, I know it sounds a bit cheesy but next year I am going to write a diary of my life and this time next year I will show it to them and be like "this is how sucky my life is" and then crawl,away and die in a hole)
(I like to talk to you. I really do, Velv.
...)
(Thanks Star and Tia! *hugs* It's funny, I actually did some calculations and I think I probably have more friends online in places like Blogland than friends from school or that I have met off my iPad... But I'm thankful to have you guys, thanks... *hugs everyone*)
(@Velv While I've never had a diary, I used to send messages to my best friend for a few months of summer. It's the closest thing I've got to a diary.
Ah, Rebecca... I really want to meet her, even if it's just once :c)
(Velvet, it's ok. I understand. You're not being a lonely, unsociable git for no reason. I hate my dad and I hate being home too... *hugs her tightly* It's ok...)
(@Velvet: Don't keep it up for a year. Keep it up for a few months. That ought to be enough, yes? And that means that you will have a) less time spent in suffering and b) you're less likely to loose motivation along the way.
(I know I would definitely probably loose motivation if I tried to stick at something an entire year, but a few months is mangeable whilst still getting your point across.)
Oh, is that not normal? :P I DEFINITELY have more friends I met online, and this place was the first place I GOT proper friends. XD)
(I'm sure you will Tia! If you want, I'm not doing anything and we could do step two of my plan?)
(*grons* Okay Star, thanks!)
Btw, I have had this on a loop for a few hours now:
The Glitch Mob
I keep humming it and... too addictive :S
(I'm being a lonely, unsociable git for no reason . . . :O
Maybe I should do something about that. XD)
(I tried to keep a diary... I haven't wrote in it since last Saturday. It's so difficult to keep it up...)
*lose
@Chi: Exactly. :O
I think writing in a diary might be somethign I'd be good at, because I have in incessant need to talk. Hmm.)
(an
*hugs Gem*
I don't know what to say.
I just don't.
*hugs her tightly*
:c
*an
(*watching Frozen*)
(Have to go eat, will be back!)
(It's ok Tia. You don't have to say anything.)
(*has never seen Frozen*
*feels special for that reason alone*)
I HAVE SEEN FROZEN
I feel special for not having my ears pierced, myself. XD
(See you soon, Velv.
And I'm not sure about rp. I will have to go soon. Parents to talk about uni and it's not like I'm getting in. Yeah, horrible conversation... But after that, sure.)
(I have never seen Frozen, nor would I want to, and I have never had my ears pierced.)
(I like frozen..I. calms me down and cheers me up..)
(I haven't seen Frozen for a while but meh)
(*frowns* wait when did Sophs profile picture become a snow flake.)
(Bloodflake?)
(Soph you're being FESTIVE!
*tacklehugs*
My Lord!)
(I actually enjoy Winter. Not Christmas, I hate Christmas, but I enjoy Winter. Considering cold does not bother me - hell, I'm Canadian, and I have spent some time on Noveria in the past - there is nothing not to enjoy about it.)
(*is not good with words*
*is surrounded by literary geniuses*
*does NOT want this point to be debated or argued*)
(*is not a literacy genious*)
(Well that was terrible, I sat down waiting for my mum to finish the food, then thought it would be a nice idea to set the table. I did and when I finished I went to sit down by the radiators but my brother got there first. I politely asked him to move as I was there first and he says, "oh well I'm here now!" And pulls a silly face. I sit down in the other space and mum brings the food over (mini hotdogs). She gives me three, my sister three and my brother four... That's hardly fair as I am older and need to grow more. I say this to my brother and he says "yes well you look eight so an extra hotdog won't help". He then coughs on his food so I can't have it and later on complains he doesn't want it... Congrats, you have achieved in wasting perfectly good food... I'm still hungry now too...)
*is not a literary genius XD*
@Sophia: :) Fairy nuff.
And, yay! Another one who is ear-pierced-less! :)
(*my Galaxy collection in the corner of my room and grins evily* My precious! *pounces* (Omg, I am such a loner I have turned into Gollum! *faints*) *eats chocolate*)
@Velvet: -_- That sucks . . .
That's probably sexism as opposed to favourism, though.
(I don't hear ears pierced!)
(Yeah maybe...)
(*sighs* I said no, Star and Sil.
Velv, that is favoritism. Not fair to you.
*sends Galaxy to Velv*
*frowns*
*sends Galaxy to everybody*
*but sends the most to Velv*)
(I cannot understand why anyone would want to hang pieces of jewellery from their ears. Surely if you would get the metal caught and pulled too hard, it would split your ear into two pieces? It is illogical, painful and impractical - therefore I have never had my ears pierced.)
"The cold never bothered me anyway"
(YAAY TIA!)
(And for the record, Tia, I am hardly a literacy genius. I rarely read.)
@Tia: I thought you meant not saying you weren't good with words . . . sorry.
Favouristism is never fair. :/
Later in life, though, you'll be valued because you're an awesome person and he'll be hated because he's spoilt. It'll be okay. :)
*EATS GALAXY C:*
*hi-fives Velvet* Welcome to the non-ears-pierced club! C:
(Sophia,
dhyvhfozj
just
*cries*
(It is not your fault, Sophia
I think I better go)
(I'm gonna be famouser than him! *high fives Star* I want them though...)
@Sophia: I just didn't see what I would get out of it. :P
My mum got her ears pierced the other year though, and apparently they're great to fiddle with, which woudl make earrings useful to me. However, because she twists them, the backs keep falling off and she has to keep buying new ones. Not ideal. :P
(I can't wear cheap jewellery, just like my nana. If I wear cheap jewellery, even for a few hours, my ear lobes turn bright red and they hurt like hell.
*Hugs Velvet again tightly* Do you have Skype deary? And trust me, if I was with you right now, I would be screaming at your parents to treat you fairly. Even thought you may not want me to. But you need to be heard. And I'll always be here for you. We can e-mail if you want...)
(*hugs Tia* Good luck!)
Yup! :P
I don't . . . :P My aunt offered to get me my ears pierced as a birthday present when I was eleven and I said no. XD
Luckily for you, getting your ears pierced is relatively easy, so um, good luck! :)
(No I don't have Skype... Could get it tho! And I don't mind if you wanna email...)
(WHY IS THE DVD STICKING?!?! NO!!! YOU'RE RUINING LET IT GO!!! DAMN IT KATHY!!!)
(I am not the person to fiddle with anything. I find no problem with sitting still.)
(It's more for you, Velvet. It seems that things you're trying to keep from bubbling over are nearing the top. And I want to be here for you, I let it overflow and have told my father twice that I hate him. Apparently he has feelings and was hurt by it.)
(I suspect, Silente, there may be fingerprints on the disk.)
(I'm okay now...)
(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHHSISSJSNANNAMAMSMSNSJISOSJDSBSKSOSJ NOOOOOOOOOO!)
(LET IT GOOO
LET IT GOOO
CANT HOLD OT BACK ANY MOOORE
LET IT GOOO
LET IT GOOO
TURN AWAY AND SLAM THE DOOOR
III DONT CAAARE
WHAT THEYRE GOING TO SAAAY
LET THE STOOORM RAGE OOON
THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAAAY!
(*hugs Gemma* I'm sorry about the thing with your dad, thank you for saying you'll be there for me... Would it help if I got scope then?)
I do like Let It Go. :)
@Sophia: I kind of need things to fiddle with to stop me tearing my skin apart. -_-
(Skype. And yes, that would help a lot. I go on Skype every day so if you need to talk to me, it'll be easier to contact me that way.)
(Okay, getting it now!)
(The back of the disc is covered in scratches -_- I hate my aunt Kathy sometimes..)
(We all hate our family sometimes. Well, normal people do.)
( . . .
I don't hate my family . . . ?
I mean, I know I'm not normal, but like, my family is just AWESOME. <3)
(Got Skype now!)
(She scratched Frozen.)
@Silente: :/ Can't you make her pay you for a new one?
(Then Star, you must have a happy life.
What's your name, Velvet?)
(Yes. I do.
I feel kind of bad about that sometimes, but like, yeah. I'm lucky. :/)
(Yeah, you are.)
(*nods :/*)
Depression self-analysis
You don't need to feel bad about being happy Star.
(You should be glad that you've found happiness...I haven't been happy properly in a while...)
My mum, who is a youthworker and very wise, was saying to me the other day about how it's mostly the adults who have a false concept of teenagerhood and are obsessed with making sure their teenager feels cool whereas the teenagers themselves wouldn't be all that bothered really . . . and my mum says that, actually, as long as you have a few friends and you like school (well, like as in, don't HATE it due to bullying or whatever), you're doing pretty well. And then she was saying about how she never had kids have problems becuase they didn't have a new iPhone or whatever, and how, apart from exceptions like bullying, the only reason they were ever really properly unhappy was if their home life wasn't good, and how really, that was the only thing that really mattered.
Damn. That's a good list, Tia. O_O Thanks. :)
(not that I need it for myself, but like, it's a useful thing).
@Lantern: No. And mostly I don't. Guilty would be a better word. Like . . . I did nothign to deserve having an awesome family, but I got one anyway, and there's not really much I can do to fix that, nor would I ever want to, so all I can do is say is "um . . . sorry", which doesn't really do much.
@Elleni: :) :) *hugs* :)
@Chi: :( :( *hugs* I'm sorry.
(I have depression...
So yeah, I want you guys to do something if you find out you are depressed.)
(Chi, I think it's Seirsha_Velvet)
Back at you, Tia.
*hugs*
Look after yourself. :)
(I like the word 'velvet'.)
(Me too, probably why I took it!)
I feel that family is everything, if your home life is bad you feel horrible, if your home life is nice, you feel happier.
-Zaf
@Elleni: I disagree.
Some people are naturally more intelligent than others. Like - for academic things, I have an /awfully/ good memory. Therefore, I do well at school.
However, I do agree to some extent . . . a lot of kids who are just average have their parents pay tons of money in order to force them to get As by sending them to private schools and getting them tutors and locking them up in their rooms nad forcing them to study, whereas some people my mum's worked with have been really bright but have been doing badly at school because their family is shit and doesn't care/they got pregnant or whatever.
And it just sucks that some people get more opportunities. It also sucks that some people of average intelligence go to the top private schools and pay their way into managing to get top grades so everyone thinks they're intelligent, and then they end up runningthe country when they don't actually have enough natural intelligence to do so (which is another one of my mum's rants).
Also, I agree; no one is born to succeed or fail. Not everyone is the same; people have different strengths and weaknesses. However, not everyone is given an enviroment in which they can take full advantage of their strengths.
Holy fuck, well would you look at that...I have depression. Almost all of those are true for me. Apart from I an talk to other people fine and I don't feel like I'm drowning or suffocating. I just feel, nothing.
(Anyone for rp?)
@Zaf: Oui.
Honestly, someone probably needs to do something about this flawed system in which people end up with shitty home lives.
@Chi: You sound like you might have depression, actually.
@Velvet: Depends (because y'know, characters; they have to realistically want to do something/have a reason to be somewhere). What're you suggesting? :)
I'm thinking maybe everyone should give up kids as soon as they're born and if you want kids you have to adopt, but I can see many flaws in this idea and that's without even thinking it through properly.
Well thank you Star. I have cried so much lately it's unbelieveable. Last 2-3 weeks have been fucking hell. Everything has seemed to go wrong in my life. Almost everyone has left me, my dad didn't talk to my mum for 3-4 nights and slept downstairs. Oh, and music does sort of help...you know, I always thought it helped...but now even music is seeming dull and doesn't really mean anything...it's like I only listen to it so I hear something...so I don't sound as alone as I feel. And I guess the only fears I have are death (which haunts me in my sleep) and being alone, which I suppose, is also in my dreams. And all around me. I'm in Scotland, so everything seems dull anyway.
I think you should have to have a license to have kids, and everyone three years you need to pass another test in order to keep your license, and if you fail your test . . . well, it depends how badly you fail it. If you do really badly, you get your kids taken off you. But if you're just a bit below standard, you should have to get better, and have to have lessons and get regular monitoring until you're okay again. So some people might get monitored a week or two, and some might be months.
*nods*
(Have to go actually, sorry!)
@Chi: Maybe you should talk to someone. Depression is a mental illness; it's really serious. And, like, feeling depressed is NOT good.
Fours, Velvet! :(
When C is prime minister, I will argue with her until we have parental licenses. :P
(That's our plan for the future. She becomes prime minister, I advise her. :P)
Star, I would, I've told my mum I've tried to cut before but was too scared to break the skin and she laughed. I'm a coward...too cowardly to take my own life. And if I had anyone to talk to, anyone really close to me that I would? I've tried talking, but it doesn't help...crying helps, a lot. And I want to cry so badly... I don't know why. I was almost crying earlier... It's so true...I want to cry for no reason or at small things that seem insignificant... I cried because someone told me not to sing my favourite song 4 weeks ago. Because that week was so hard for me and that just...tipped me over the edge...
(There must be someone you can talk to at schoo, surely?)
(It seems I disappeared briefly.)
@Elleni: Oui. :/ *nods*
*sighs*
@Chi We can be depression buddies.
Tia_Halcyon or Tia.Halcyon on Skype.
*isn't on Skype*
Meh.
No...my "friends" left me on the last day of school. They had these little card things and I wanted one, I asked where they got them and then went to check if I had one. When I went back to where they were standing, they had left me. I spent a whole period trying to find them then went up to the shops in the cold and the rain, on my own. I then found out they were in maths watching a movie. I only went in to see the boy that I like. But he doesn't like me back. I told him about 4 weeks ago that I liked him. He then said "I like you fine, but only as a friend" And I know that he doesn't like me...I'm find with just being friends...but he's sending me mixed signals... he keeps glancing at me and Thursday was our Christmas dance and I went up and asked him to dance but I don't know what he said because the music was so loud, I was upset all night. Then two of my "friends" went over and told him to dance with me, just then my phone rang and I had to run outside to answer it...he came after me. They told him to, but they said he sat and thought about if for a minute before following me. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT TO DO! I'm trying my best to get over him I really am... but I want to be with him all the time, I always look out for him at lunch, I always get worried when he doesn't eat or he doesn't come to school or something...I'm such an idiot... I'm trying my best...I tried to ignore him and just have fun with my friends but I couldn't...I had to keep looking to see if he was looking at me...It seems like I can't be happy at school without him being next to me and talking to me.
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