Hello.
Ah, my poor neglected blog. How I have ignored you. Once you were the apple of my eye (okay, not really — the name of this blog is what it is, after all), but then along came Twitter and suddenly you seemed somewhat clunky and... unwieldy...
But see? I have returned. I've been away a lot, I know. Work. I had that book to publish (which went really well, by the way) and then all those tours, including a trip to New Zealand and Australia to meet all those readers with funny accents.
My life has been somewhat chaotic as of late, and when things get chaotic, some other things suffer. You, it seems, are one of these things.
But I'll try to rectify that. I really will. I'm home now, after all, and settling back into normal life. What normal life will bring me, though, I have no idea.
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About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
4,849 comments:
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(@Sil: Yeah... grrr...)
It is. But why should I suggest terms for you to turn down. It's quicker for you to give terms.
Minerve: I am afraid that I can see nothing I would want more than having my army stationed here.
Not even a tuck of gold?
WHO HERE THINKS I HAVE A LIFE??
(Guys? Could someone please hug me? I'll have to do a theoretical test for my driver's license in three hours and I'm already about to freak out! Help! 0_0)
*hugs Mith* :( Good luck!
(I believe you have a life, Star. You just do not do much with it. No offence.)
@Sophia: XD Thanks. :)
*Raises hand* I DO STAR!! OH OH I THINK THAT YOU DO!!
Mithria is it for your learners licence? *Hugs* I don't know how similar The Australian test would be but if they are anything alike (The theoretical learners test) Than as long as you know your stuff then you'll be fine11
(I will be back soon.)
@Misti: O_O
. . .
O_O
Well.
No offence, but I have no clue where you're coming from.
Thanks, though! :)
(*hugs Star back* Thanks...)
(@Misty (May I call you Misty?^^): Tbh, I have no idea how to call it in English, I just guessed! And yeah, as long as you just learn everything by heart, you'll be fine. I just tend to forgetting everything when I have to do a test... )
(Sorry food happened.)
Nothing at all?
*sips*
*raises one eyebrow*
You don't have a very good imagination then.
(Don't ever apologize for food, Silente Tempest! :D)
*Grins* XD Well what can I say? I'm in a good mood ... !?
And as far as I'm concerned if you do anything, no matter how small then you are doing something with you life and therefore you have a life. ... There's also the fact that if your living then you also have a life but that's biology stuff!
(Aww...Soph left...)
@Misti: *tilts head* Fair enough. :) I have a life, then, just not much of one. :P
(It's quiet...
And cold.)
And raining...
Not here. We have grey skies, though. :/
(HELLO? Ello? ello? ello? ello?)
(Oh. People spoke)
I hate translations. I really do. I don't even know how to start this homework thing!
*sighs*
Well, never mind.
(*prods Mir*
*shoves a Darth Vader mask on her face*)
(I am back somewhat.)
Minerve: I am not known for my imagination.
(Sil, what the hell-?)
I noticed. Your torture is terrible. But still, there must be something..
(You're pretty as Darth Vader. *superglues the mask to Mir's face* Yey!)
Minerve: What exactly do you mean by terrible?
(*glares at Sil*
But... I don't want to be... this!
*turns and runs away*)
(*runs and tackles her, supergluing Darth vader clothes to her*)
Bland, boring, unimaginative, simplistic in a bad way, even that old granny with the milky eye did better.
Minerve: If you wish I could rip out your intestines and strangle you using them. Sometimes, however, the simple ways are better.
(I will be back in a moment.)
(Just... go away, will you?? *continues running, trying to get rid of the Darth Vader stuff*)
Today, the below became increasingly apparent.
I am a loser. A moron who tries too hard.
I'm a pathetic idiot with no life. And any attempt I've made to convince myself otherwise was complete and utter (pardon my French) crap.
*leaves*
I gotta go now, sorry! See you guys! <3
((*hugs Phoe* no...that's not true.))
(*tackles her again, gluing more on until she's wearing the entire suit* *stands* *lays a red light saber at her feet* rise.)
*rolls eyes, not even remotely impressed by her threat* so scary.
What?
Fay, you're brilliant. :( I read your comments and I wish our timezones were nearer so I could talk to you more often . . .
Everyone is a loser and a moron in some ways. Trying too hard is better than trying too little. I can't exactly say much about pathetic idiots with no life, seeing as how I am one. And trying to convince yourself otherwise . . . the first step to change is belief. :)
*hugs*
You're brilliant, and I wish you could see that. :/
what to do while the doctors given me three days off school... SHERLOCK MARATHON
@Snow: XD XD
Fay...
Does anyone have fays email?
Possibly give me a sec..
I didn't think of that . . . O_O
Nope . . . don't think so. :/
Minerve: It was not supposed to me. I am not the goddess of fear.
(No apparently not. Sorry..)
Hm. Who is? And who's the god or goddess of pain? They sound interesting...
Anyway, terrible torturer, army removal.
*flollops*
(*turns snow into Darth Vader*)
*squeaks because I am darth farther*
(*tilts head* *turns snow into a mouth* *becomes a cat* *pounced on snow*)
**mouse
Minerve: I will not be taking my army back.
*continues flolloping in mouse form, ignoring Sil-kitty*
*smiles*
Okay. Then indulge me, why did you need us to summon them?
(*bats snow-mouse left then right* *bites her tail*)
*squeaks and bops Sil-kitty's nose*
(MEW! *bats snow to the side then pounces on her again* *purrs*)
Minerve: The same way a mortal needs to build shrines.
But why?
*squeaks in protest*
(Mew. *purrs* *bites snows ear, tail thrashing*)
Minerve: And why, exactly, would I tell you? It is not of your concern.
*squeaks and bats sil away, looking at her with a face that says stop*
It interests me. You're powerful and meeneed mortals to call your armies and build your shrines. Why?
Minerve: This is a mortal realm.
(MEW! *pounces, biting snows tail, picking her up by it and padding over to soph* *purrs and puts snow down at her feet, pinning her with a paw on her tail, looking proud of herself* *to Soph* Mew!)
I'm okay...
*squeaks in a kind of "put me down, let me go" kind of way*
So if it isn't your relm only a member of that relm can call them for you..
ROSE!! *tackles*
((*hugs deathy*))
(*ignores the squeaking*)
Minerve: *tilts head* It is somewhat more complicated than that, but yes.
*realm
(I apologise. I'm a bit OCD about spelling and grammar. :P)
(*purrs and let's snow go* *moved between Sophs feet, rubbing against het leg*)
Hmm...interesting..
*flollops over to the bubble*
Minerve: How so?
(*turns back to a human and hugs Soph*)
Learning about weaknesses is interesting
Hello, Snow. O_O
(*hugs Silente back*)
Minerve: It is not much of a weakness.
Hi there Starararrrr
(Sorry. Forgot you didn't like cats.)
Still a weakness. Any weakness is a weakness worth knowing.
(It is no problem.)
Minerve: Perhaps. And I know your weakness.
I have more than one weakness. You'll have to elaborate.
Minerve: Your friends.
Ahh. That one. Yeah some people would mistake them for weaknesses.Ah
Minerve: You wanting to protect your friends at any cost is a weakness.
Is it? In the right situation it becomes a strength. It gives me determination, courage.
Minerve: And stupidity.
*smiles* that too.
Minerve: So are you going to make me an offer or not?
...No. Not yet.
Minerve: Then leave.
*shrugs and gets up, leavin*
*gets to the front of the army and finds the one who can talk*
Hi. I bet Mins horrible to you. For all its worth, you seem nice.
*hugs him*
Knight: *tilts head* There are several of us who have considered rebelling. Not that it would get us very far.
Hi guys c:
(Hello, Phoe. How are you?)
Hi, Sophia. I feel...
Empty, actually. Not much of anything.
How're you?
(Depressed.
Are you doing anything interesting, currently?)
Nah, just reading.
*retreats to distant-ness*
(*and brackets*)
How did I get a D on that project? It was amazing. There was so much thought behind it. And you gave me a D??
Ugh...
(Hello, Rose. How are you?)
(I will continue to be here.)
And then there was Dugglyn!
(Hello, Dugglyn. How are you?)
(msd)
(Dug email.)
You've been thinking of rebelling?
*still hugging*
(Hello, Silente. *hugs her*)
Knight: We have.
If you would kindly let go, it would be appreciated.
Ah sorry.
*stops huggng*
Rebel..can you even do that?
Knight: Some of us can. The captains. In order to give us the ability to make decisions, she had to give us free will.
Unfortunately, we are only five.
(Soy Sil, can't check at school. :(((
(How be's yous?! How be's yous eyes?! (<for anyone who's here!)
(I am depressed but my eyes are fine. Yourself?)
*hugs Sil*
*finds Danni*
Hello... I'm sorry.
I'm good and me eyes be fine!
Hey Tia!!!
*huggles*
You ok?
(Hello, Tia.)
Hello Soph and Duggy!
How are you doing?
Gooda!
(I am depressed. Yourself?)
(Back now.)
So five of you have free will...don't the other follow your orders?
(Welcome back, Silente.)
Knight: Unless my orders counter the ones Minerve gave.
Well... I'm here for you, Sophia. You're not alone.
(*hugs Soph*)
Oh...we can't just gag Min can we?
(*hugs Silente back*
I'm afraid, Tia, that will not help.)
Knight: I do not believe so, no.
Oh. Well damn.
Knight: Yes. We could stab her, however.
She'd just come back to life..
Knight: It would buy us time until she would recover.
True...but time to do what?
Knight: Whilst she is not here, her army will not move. They will not attack unless they are doing so already. It will buy us time to defend.
Oh...
How do I know this isn't Min tricking me again?
Knight: What do you mean?
How do I know Min isn't making you say this.
Knight: *slices his sword across the throat of the knight stood next to him, who falls* *the other knight stands up again a moment later* Is that proof enough or do you want me to do something else?
*watch the other knight fall*
That was mean.
Knight: We do not feel pain, nor do we die. He does not mind. I could have just as easily done it to myself, I just did not wish to scare you.
...wait you can't...OMG MIN CHEATED THE BITCH!
(I am here
Don't mind me, I'm sick)
Knight: What do you mean?
(Hello, Chloe.)
(How art everyone?)
She made me fight one of you with the promise that if I killed him she wouldn't sign me up for eternal torture..
Knight: You were always going to lose. We do not die. *twists his sword around and pushes it into his own stomach, then pulls it out* No death here.
(Depressed, yourself?)
What about if you're beheaded?
(I am sick, but good)
Knight: The head will reform.
Wow seriously?? That's cool.
Knight: *tilts head* Not exactly.
(So you could just end up with a pile of heads? C:
That's cool. O_O
They can use spare heads as cannon fodder. Or balls to play catch with. Or all sorts. C:)
(Hey Star)
(Hey Star)
(Hello, Star.)
(Has everything descended into silence?)
(I think so)
(I think so)
(As do I. Have you got a cold, Chloe, or is it something more sinister?)
Not exactly?
(It is more sinister, I have been having stomach pains for the past few days)
Oh my gosh. XD
I clicked on an AVEN thread titled "How does one find a cuddle buddy?" and it was created by this person who really like platonic cuddling but didn't know how to find people to cuddle with, and people started replying suggested ONLINE SITES WHERE YOU CAN FIND CUDDLE BUDDIES. :O
Oh my gosh. XD
I am so pleased that this is a Thing, for some reason. It's SO COOL. :)
@Inky: :( :( That doesn't sound too good. :/
I want to go on an online site and find a cuddle buddy now purely for the sake of doing it because it is SUCH A COOL CONCEPT.
However, I don't really like cuddling people who aren't my family, so. O_O
(It isn't really good
On a more positive note, I bought thick rimmed glasses an a waist coat earlier)
(It isn't really good
On a more positive note, I bought thick rimmed glasses an a waist coat earlier)
Knight: I cannot die.
(A cuddle buddy sounds like a nightmare.)
(I already have a cuddle buddy)
Do you want to die..?
Knight: Not especially. But the option would be nice.
I get that. Do you have emotions?
Knight: I do. Do you?
Yep. Does that mean you can feel love?
Knight: I do not know.
Do you think you can feel love?
(What I want to know is if they can feel sexual attraction. O_O)
(Hmmm *thinks*)
Knight: I do not know. How you expect me to answer with no previous experience, I have no idea. My life so far has consisted of a lot of standing in formation. That is mostly it.
That sounds boring.
Knight: I have no concept of boredom.
(I will be back soon.)
(It's dark ... I like it XD
I am sooooo bored
I was messaging Gar but he disappeared)
(It's dark ... I like it XD
I am sooooo bored
I was messaging Gar but he disappeared)
(Starts singing *
If I were not upon the stage there is somethig I would be
If I were not upon the stage a doctor I would be
I'd sig a little song
You'd heard it all day long
Pants down
Arse up
Feel a little prick
Pants down
Arse up
Feel a little pick
Lalalalalalala)
(Um...I got carried away with fake blood (SQUIRT ON FAKE BLOOD) and might've become the female serpine in that I have a red right hand..)
@Silente: XD
(ahh Sil... *laughs)
IF ANY TLCERS ARE GHOSTING, I CAN'T SEEM TO GET ON TLC. APPARENTLY MY ACCOUNT DOESN'T HAVE PERMISSION. CAN SOMEONE TELL ADRA? I DID EMAIL HER, BUT IF YELLING AT YOU FOLKS IS QUICKEST, I'M GONNA YELL, SORRY. XD
THANK YOU. :) SORRY. :/
(I am back.)
Wb. :)
(Thank you, Star.)
:)
How're you?
(Depressed. Yourself?)
Fine. Drawing. :)
(What are you drawing?)
I'm making titles for my school art book. :P Not very exciting. It's okay, though. :) Beats doing English revision or annotating my art book, which were my other options. XD
So what emotions do you feel?
(I see. I do not think I would be good at art. I lack the imagination.)
Knight: I know that I am able to feel anger. That I have felt before. I have not felt many other things.
@Sophia: I suck at imagination, as far as art goes. That's why I like patterns. You put a few colours together and then you just follow the scheme and see what happens. No thought required. :) It's like map reading.
(my friend izzy makes me laugh)
(Star - surely it takes imagination to make the pattern?)
@Star: But you drew up that scheme in the first place? :P
*hasn't been ghosting*
*or, has, but only for six minutes or so*
*hello :)*
(hewwo Taia)
Thats...slightly sad..
(Hello, Taia.)
Knight: Perhaps.
(this is hilarious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6omQ5JjjLsE)
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