And I am finished.
Well, "finished" is maybe the wrong word. There are still two short chapters to write — detailing Scapegrace's little adventure - but basically, essentially, that's it. I'm done. I've just sent the official first draft of The Dying of the Light over to Nick, my editor, and Michelle, my agent. They've both read a rough version a few weeks ago so I know there's not going to be much in the way of changes when I start editing next week. Which is a relief. And word count, you ask? Word count?
Well, at the moment, before the edit and missing two little chapters, the word count stands at 153,193. I can't find the exact count, but I think LSODM was about 161,000, so it'll be pretty close in size. I genuinely thought this would be a much smaller book, closer to Dark Days in terms of length. My editor, however, knew the word count would just explode once I started to do what I planned. The book is, he has told me, "hugely ambitious". So there's that.
And I'm glad it's taken me this long to write it, to be honest. I'm glad TDOTL is going to be a heavy, substantial book. It is the end, after all. It deserves to be weighty.
It has still to hit me, by the way. The fact that this IS the end. I think when the edit is finished it'll occur to me that there'll be no more Skulduggery books. Not exactly looking forward to that moment.
On a cheerier note, I've seen Tom Percival's rough sketch of the cover, and it will literally KILL YOU with feels.
Which, now that I think of it, probably isn't a cheerier note at all.
We have such cool ideas for the coming year, plenty of AMAZING events to announce, and I can't wait to let you all in on what we're planning. The next two days, in fact, I will be spending in a massive meeting about those very same events.
The Year of the Requiem is gonna ROCK.
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«Oldest ‹Older 3401 – 3600 of 4703 Newer› Newest»Hello Blue
((I don't even know! This happened! Monkeys! Bonbo! Man may truly have its closest common ancestor in this ape, as it thinks of nothing but sex. After all, everything it does is draped in a hyper-sexual overcoat: they use sex to greet each other, resolve conflict (i.e make-up sex), and as bargaining chips to trade for food. They engage sexually in many of the ways us humans do (e.g. mutual masturbation, oral sex, French kissing) and some we do not (sometimes they fence with their penises, like phallic swashbucklers). And as a result of this sexually-saturated kind of culture, they are an incredibly peaceful species, although they may enjoy the occasional cock spar.))
Er..no? I figured you'd use your magic to escape and what not.
Hey Edward
*Does not look convinced* I could send you back to the past you know.
Greetings Blue
I know you could. You already did.
((Hey blue! Hyenas! A male hyena having sex with a female hyena is a bit like putting a gun in a perfectly-formed holster; the females are equipped with a sort of “anti-penis” that can erect at will–which is actually just an enlarged clitoris. The task of the male is then to sort of occupy this outer-penis. And then out of this penis, the female eventually gives birth. Ouch! Weird! Gross! But true.))
Have I thanked you for saving me yet?
((The male dolphin is one randy bastard. It’ll essentially hump-back anything it can get its fins on, including inanimate objects and sea turtles. Furthermore, the dolphin’s swivelly penis is actually capable of gripping things, making it a sort of exploratory apparatus. It can be said, then, with absolute certainty that a dolphin is truly guided by its penis. ))
No. And you probably won't.
HELLO.
JUST SAYING HI BEFORE ECHOOL. TOODLES.
((Do not get on a snail’s bad side (or its good side for that matter), it is armed and dangerous. The weapon: a sharp-tipped sperm dart (which is deployed from the backs of their eyes, where they keep their genitals). Snails are in fact hermaphrodites who don’t auto-impregnate. Instead they seek a sexual partner–also armed with this sort of dart-gun–and engage in dangerous eye sex as if it were some sort of shoot-out, dodging bullets and also seeking to fill the other’s uterus with a calcified, mucous-covered spike.))
Hi/bye snow!
Correct *Wanders to fortress and enters* Reppears in new suit* Isn't it about time for vampire Silente yet?
Nope! Vampire Silente has had enough fun today.Which reminds me.
*pulls a specialised serum needle oit*
*looks at Ed*
Er..
*walks off for some privacy*
*she doesn't like sedating herself*
**out
Its interesting
*Looks at needle in his hand which he swapped with Silentes* Of course *Faces away*
((These slugs have a few issues in life, not the least of which is that they look like the end result of stomach cramps brought on by a diet high in lentils and curry.
Another problem for the lowly slug is that the average eight-inch slug has an eight-inch penis, and when he first realizes this, he's probably pretty stoked. Then when he hears through the grapevine that his mate could potentially chew it off, the wind may be taken from his sails.
Because their penis could be the same size as their body, they need to find a mate who's the same size. If they happen to have an issue with depth perception, they won't properly fit and their special friend will gnaw on it like a NASCAR fan with a stick of jerky to solve the problem. The record holder for banana slugs had a penis five times the length of its own body))
*smiles and injects herself with the special serum*
*frowns when the usual feeling of control and calm and irritation doesn't spread through her*
*turns to him*
What did you do?
Me?
((The male of the species known as Antechinus Stuartii is so into sex, he will fuck until he rolls over and dies. A master man whore, during mating season, this little Australian marsupial pretty much drops everything in his life to have sex with as many females as possible. There's no time to eat or apply some kind of soothing cream to any rubbed-raw body parts as he will spend up to 12 hours at a time banging one female.
So at least he's leaving them satisfied--maybe not conscious, but satisfied.
And when he's done, it's on to another female. By the time mating season has ended, the constant stress of being a rodent-sized Wilt Chamberlain leaves the little bugger with a suppressed immune system, severe ulcers and at the mercy of parasites. He, and every other male who goes through the mating season, will then die.))
Yes you. Something wrong, with this.
*holds up the empty needle*
What did you do?
*arm jerks randomly*
May I suggest a cage for when you transform? *Backs away* I did nothing
((Like dinner at the Olive Garden, Hippos are disgusting. When the male hippo is pretty sure one of the ladies in his neck of the woods is ready to get down to business, he seduces her in a way that even the majority of Cracked staff have never engaged in, at least not more than once.
Like a sly poon hunter out at the bars, the hippo positions himself where his potential mate can see him. Then he shits himself. To be fair, he also pisses at the same time. Obviously that alone is hardly going to impress the discerning lady hippo (any jackass can shit himself), so to prove he's got the goods, the male will spin his tail like a shit-flinging propeller at the same time, spraying about stink and filth which will be, apparently, irresistible to some of the local women folk.))
*glares at him looking furious*
Don't lie. You swapped my serum didn't you.
*shudders slightly*
*Starts to run to treehouse* No?
((Okay I'll stop with the animal facts now))
*runs after him*
*shaking*
I said /don't/ LIE!
*Locks self in cage to keep afe* It's not lying, more extending the truth
*punches the bars Dinting them*
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!
Accidentally swapped your serum with normal water
*shakes and shudders*
*grunts at the pressure on her gums and fingertips*
Accidently? Sure. Course it was an accident.
You did laugh at my severed head
*Pops up from nowhere*
Good evening, everyone.
IM GOING TO SEVER YOUR BLOODY HEAD OFF AGAIN YOU IDIOT!
*starts bending the bars apart*
*refuses to scream as the fangs split through her gums*
*the pressure on her fingertips becomes harder*
((Hi delivery guy))
Greetings delivery guy
*Backs into corner of cage* That is not fair, I like my head attatched
*grins showing her fangs*
Should've thought of that /before/ you swapped the needles.
*bends the bars wide enough to step through*
*claws break through her fingertips*
*cries out slightly*
*smiles*
Say goodbye.
*Grins* Goodbye *Steps bck through door and appears by lake*
*shouts out*
COME BACK YOU WIMP!
*suddenly goes ridgid*
*curls and rips her skin off again*
*shakes and steps from the skin*
*bounds towards the door*
*jumps out and bounds towards the lake covering 3 metres with each bound*
*Watches the vampire*
*shakes head slightly*
In that case, I'd best not stick around. Tata!
*Sits down and time stops in a circle. it wont hold her for long*
((Babye!))
*stops momentarily*
Bye Delivery guy
*Feels time shift and appears at doors to fortress*
*starts moving again*
*Edwards gone*
*snarls and claws at the dirt*
*bounds off into the forest*
*Appears behind vampire and swings grandfather clock*
*ducks under the clock*
*turns and swipes at his foot*
*Swipe cuts foot nd they appear on a lone rock floating through space at the end of the universe*
*ignores the scene change*
*pounces onto Edward*
*appears suddenly and then realizes that Silente is a vampire*
Hello Dugglyn *Rolls under vampire and smashes a fist into her jaw*
*steps back and pulls out her sword*(hi!)
*runs over to Eddie*
Need help?
Yes please Dugglyn
((Hey Dugglyn))
*head rockets back*
*snarls and swipes*
*Edwards fingers fall to the ground*
*Looks at hand, shock holding back pain* *Slices knife down taking vampires ear* *Holds hand under arm*
*smacks the vampire on its head with her sword*
Did you know the sparrow flights south for the winter?
*hits Silente again*
*hisses and backs away from them both*
*leaps onto Dugglyn*
*bites down on her neck*
*grabs a tranquilizer dart*
Would this help?
DUGGLYN *Fires full pulse at vampire*
* struggles to get away from vampire*
*swipes at Silente with her sword, hoping it hits her*
*is hit by the pulse and thrown back*
*leaveing a large wound in Dugglyns neck*
*snarls and comes back to attack*
*screams in pain*
*lies on the ground*
*Places shield around Dugglyn and runs at vampire*
*trying to ignore the pain, stands up*
*sways a bit then falls back down*
*snarls and greets Edward with open claws*
*leaps onto him shredding his shirt*
((Tick tock goes the clock as Dugglyns blood pumps faster. Tick tock goes the clock upon this big disaster!))
*Looks at blood on vampires claws and grin fades* *eyes glow blue and electricity curls round body* *Fires at vampire*
*(will I become a vampire?)
* searches around in her pockets*
*finds the healing cream*
*applies it to her neck, thankful for the shield*
*it takes a little while to heal*
*jerks spasdomatically at the electricity*
*shakes head and pounces back at him*
*takes off her coat and presses it the wound, trying to stop the bleeding*
((If you go to a doctor and get a certain injection then no. Otherwise, yes.))
*starts feeling light headed*
*Raises hand blocking swipe thinking whether to crush the hand into toothpaste*
*the flow of blood lessens*
*snarls and leaps onto him*
*swipes for his throat*
*lies on her back, looking at the pretty sky and the little spots*
*Image fades as swipe passes through then becomes solid again* *Snaps vampires arm* *Magic runs out anf runs*
*hisses and leaps back, limping*
*Runs behind shield to rest*
*applies more cream hoping it will work this time*
*pretty little spots still circle her head*
((What happened to the tanq?))
*leaps at the shield cradelling her broken limb*
*feels the skin growing over the wound*
*Looks at watch* *Throws tranq dart at Silente*
(Lost it when you bit me!)
(Guess Eddie plucked it up)
*hisses the dart hitting her*
*swipes at it yanking it out*
((Type of tranq is it?))
*little spots disappear*
*sits up, still light-headed, but feeling better*
((Enough t take down a small elephant))
(Enough for a small elephant:))
((WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE AGAINST SMALL ELEPHANTS?!))
Back in 20 minutes. Continue then?
*stumbles slightly*
*hisses and swipes at the shield*
*the lightheadedness passes*
*stands up still feeling weak*
I doubt I'll still be on then..
(That's what they always say in movies)
*staggers back*
*Looks at watch. Nearly time for Silente to become human again*
I might be gone too....
back in 10
Oh good, I need a doctor!
((Yes, you do.))
*stands back up feeling almost normal*
*grabs sword*
How do I get out of this shield?
*snarls at her*
*pounces at the shield*
*again and again*
*stumbles back with each strike*
Never mind, I'll just stay in here!
*growls*
*a shudder ripples through her*
*hisses*
*looks at the shield, suddenly worried*
This won't break, will it?
Back
*another shudder ripples her body*
*snarls*
*looks at Silente*
Oh, good. You're changing back!
I really need a doctor......
*runs up and injects Silente with yellow liquid*
(Hi!)
((What the hell did you inject me with this time!))
Umm, what does it do?
((Serum to make you human)) *backs away as shield breaks*
*stands watching from the shield, looking for any changes*
((My serum or hemlock and wolfsbane serum?))
*shudders*
*collapses to the ground*
*grabs sword and steps away from Silente*
How long will it take?
((Your serum, the one I switched))
*walks back towards Silente*
((Good))
*human skin slowly begins forming*
*lays twitching and hissing*
*stands over her, sword at the ready*
*steps back*
*the change back is nearly done*
*hisses change to human groans*
Should I get you clothes?
((Yes))
Anybody know how to get back to the present?
*gives silente his hat*
*skin finishes growing*
*lays staring into space*
*eyes concentrait*
*squeal and covers self up*
*glares at Edward*
*runs away to get clothes*
*reappears a moment later with clothes*
Here ya go.
*covers eyes and falls over rock*
*nods*
*waits for them both to look away*
Wait, are we in the past?
*looks around*
*looks away*
((Future, end of the universe))
*quickly gets dress*
Decent now.
*looks at Dugglyn and the blood on her clothes*
What happened?
*looks round for missing fingers*
You bit me!
Now I really need a doctor. I don't want to be a vampire and I'm feeling a little light headed.
*helps Eddie look for lost fingers*
Found one!
I WHAT?! SHIT!
*look horrified*
Omgimsososososorryitsalledwardsfault!
My fault? *accidentally kicks finger over to other side of rock*
Thanks Dugglyn * takes finger*
Yes your fault. You switched my serum. Your fault.
*scoops up three fingers*
*hold them out to Edward*
We need to get back. Now.
*glares at Edward*
Maybe I should step on your finger
*turns back to Silente*
Yeah, that's ok but I really need a doctor.
Hey.theoretically speaking..do you obey me now?...SIT!
*looks at Edward*
Yes, how do we get back?
When you look at it that way I suppose it's my fault. My magic was drained remember.
*sits on the ground*
*glares up at Silente*
Do NOT do that!!!
*stands back up*
Ohh. Cool!...HOP!
The door we came through needs reactivating, that is a downfall of being the only time mage
Still your fault!
*starts hopping*
I said DON'T DO THAT!!!!!!!!
please.
I have been bitten by a vampire and I lost a lot of blood, but yet you still make me hop around!?!? Not nice!!
*laughs*
Okay. I'll stop now.
*whispers* punch Edward
*turns to Edward* how do we get home then?
*looks at Edward, still hopping*
Are we stuck here?!
We have to wait. Eye spy anybody?
*glares at Silente*
To Edward: I like your shoes!
* punches him hard*
*grns broadly*
Okay You can stop hopping by the way.
*falls back from punch* not fair
How long will it take for the venom to start infecting me?
*stops jumping*
Thanks!
Well its already effecting you. Its irreversible after...*thinks* about 2 hours. That's when you become a goldfish with no personality better known as an infected.
How long will we have to wait?
A goldfish?
*quietly* seven hours?
No personality, no quirks, no opinion. Just mindless servitude. Not nice..
Seven. Hours. SEVEN! HOURS!
PUNCH EDWARD!
There is another way back
7 HOURS?!?!?!
*starts pacing in circles, muttering*
No, not good. No, no, no. Don't want to be a vampire! (No offense)
What's the other way.
Really?! What?!
(I have to go in about 5 minutes)
((I have to go in -20 minutes..))
(Going to make cookies!)
*door appears* if the evil version of me decide s to be kind *runs th rough door*
Gtg, bye
((Cookies!))
Edward, tell us NOW!!!!!!!!!
Bye.. ((do we follow?))
*Runs through after him*
((I think he just left us))
*runs through after her*
(( it leads to the present))
Gone now, goodbye
Ahh, the present!
*walks away looking for a doctor that call heal me*
Bye!
Bye!
*appears in the present*
*calls 666*
Doctor. Yeah. Neck. Not long. 20 minutes? Okay bye!
*turns to Dugglyn*
Doctors will be here soon.
((Gtg bye!))
(Anyone here?)
Nooooooooo?
Hm. Alrighty then!
I'll just go back to writing, then. Ciao
Dynamite
I do try to not involve myself, but I will today. I read Zafira's anger towards Adra, and I can see why she would be upset. I understand how hard it must be, to go about her day and try to roleplay with Alastair, but he will not do so. I see this, and I agree how it would upset one, but her anger is not directed to the right person. I believe it is not solely Adra, as Alastair sought her out, I find it both of their fault, and it is not fair to single Adra out. Yes, I am sure Adra could have decided to stay, but she did not, and Zafira should have respected that. I also see that maybe Alastair should do something here, I would be upset too, I agree he ought to know the people better, it is unfair to judge them because of a very small amount of meeting.
What is done is done, perhaps the situation could have been handled nicely, and not in anger.
I dedicate this page to peace.
*Ioux hears a clock strike midnight*
*It is 4:23AM*
*He must be close, then*
*He sneaks through the woods*
*He reaches a castle*
*With a drawbridge*
*Which is lowered for some reason*
*But guarded by several strange half-formed beings*
*He creeps closer, hoping they don't see him*
*If they see him, she won't let him in*
HIA
*He comes from behind the two creatures and grabs them, draining the magic from them*
*They crumble to dust*
*He enters the building, disappearing into the darkness*
((Hello, Ms. Stormberg))
(( LOUX!!! *goes to hug but thinks better of it*))
((Ioux with a capital I, if you don't mind. And thank you very much for not hugging me. It was a very wise decision.))
((*Hugs Ioux*))
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