My Christmas tree is up. It actually went up a few weeks ago. It's not a REAL Christmas tree. I mean, it's real ENOUGH. It's not IMAGINARY. If you threw it at someone, it'd hit them. But it's made from assorted plastics and stuff. Also it's black. It looks awesome, but lacks that Christmas tree smell. But I don't mind that. My folks have a real Christmas tree up, and that's where Christmas happens anyway, so who cares if my house doesn't smell of pine needles? Not me. Not really.
Not... really...
Anyway, yes, the tree. It's up. The presents are bought. They're not wrapped, but they're bought. Most of them. Okay, I haven't a clue what to get my dad, but he's a dad. He'll be happy with socks. Fathers are simple creatures.
So... tree up. Presents bought. These are things I set aside time to do, because I needed to set aside time. I've been so busy lately that if I hadn't set aside this time, I just wouldn't get around to it. There are loads of things I just didn't have time for, like sending out Christmas cards. I love sending out cards. I try to combine it with answering all the letters from readers, so when I send off a reply, they get a Christmas card too. How lovely! But not this year. Answering all those letters, sending all those cards, would take two days at a minimum, and they are two days I can't afford to take off writing.
The writing is going well, by the way. I've been focussing on short stories these last three weeks, building up quite a collection of new stuff. Each of these stories will be told in a different "voice" than the one you're used to. You'll see what I mean when you read them.
One thing that I haven't decided on yet are the Christmas Skype calls I was planning on making. Essentially, I was going to take an hour one day and just fit as many three-minute Skype calls into that hour as I could. It seemed like a lovely idea at the time, but I'm not so sure anymore. Not everyone who wanted a call would be available on that hour, and so I'd have to field quite a few complaints. Then there'd be the people who'd want a one-on-one chat, when I'd only be comfortable chatting if there were two or more people in the room with you. Basically, my idea would end up causing a whole lot of hassle that I could really do without, so I just don't know.
Okay then, enough jibber-jabber. I have work to do.
Be cool, my Minions.
Posts
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«Oldest ‹Older 4401 – 4600 of 4953 Newer› Newest»Anybody home? *knocks on imaginary door* I'm all alone.....
All by mysseeeeelllfff!!!! *is singing*
☂-go listen to nightcore
☂-watch amazingphil
☂-or pewdiepie
☂-maybe smosh if that's what you're into
☂-TUMBLR (how can you be bored on tumblr, I do not know)
☂-Twitter
☂-IS MYCROFT GOING TO DIE
☂-Watch Sherlock online (I can give you links and stuff if you need)
☂-PRIVATE DANCE PARTY
Sont watch Sherlock. Btw *tacklehugs* HELLO EMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAVENT SPOKEN IN AGES!!!! HOW ARE YOU?
Don't**
☂-Make a MEP
☂-Watch a MEP
☂-Sneak all the sugar, mix with food colouring, and eat without getting caught
☂-Sing loudly
☂-Sing softly
☂-Sing at an acceptable volume
☂-Watch TV
☂-Teach yourself how to twerk
☂-Homework
☂-Read creepypasta
☂-WRITE creepypasta, because the deadline is in two days
☂-Read a webcomic
☂I'M GOOD, THANKS! HOW ARE YOU?☂
☂I think Mycroft's in danger...☂
☂Also, now's the perfect time to start ;)☂
☂Start watching Sherlock, that is.☂
☂Trust me on the twerking thing, too. It's surprisingly entertaining and great for parties.☂
IM GOOD!!!!!
Bored and friends seem to have forgotten my existence.
So I'm here. Hello! Wbd
☂What's one thing you promised yourself many years ago you'd never do? Besides drugs and smoking and killing yourself and skydiving, I mean.☂
*stares* *goes back to bed+
☂Hi Zaf!☂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX1seLge8Ms
☂LOVE this song, and it's even better sped up. GO LISTEN.☂
Gtg now :( Bye!
You will not BELIEVE what happened today.
Basically, my friends told me I had schizophrenia.
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.
I'm sorry, I am rather failing to comprehend how the heck they arrived at this conclusion.
Basically, I am very emotional and have some random moodswings. Therefore, I must have a severe psychotic disorder.
Um, like, WHAT.
I mean, I know there are various different types of schizophrenia (I spent ages researching this, because Hunter. Hey, it's interesting, though - the two disorders I looked up because he had them are the ones people think I have. Huh. He must be rubbing off on me more than I thought), but they actually thought I have the hallucinative/delusional type.
THE HELL???
(I mean, I DID take a test (friend read out questions to me and I answered), and I scored rather higher than the average human being. I kind of got the "YOU SHOW SIGNS BUT THAT DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN YOU HAVE IT" score. Which was kind of like huh.)
The problem is . . . my friends D and F . . . they're really, REALLY normal. :/ And they're kind of the rooted-in-reality the-world-is-solid people.
I mean, compared to them, I'm absolutely insane.
Compared to you guys, I'm kind of normal.
Like, most of us write. It's normal for one of us to write something sad, be crying whilst they write it, and then us read it and be sad. Therefore, being sad about your story seems totally normal to me.
I know many people who have their characters talk in their heads. My irl friend (who was staying remarkably quiet through most of this accusative you-have-a-mental-disorder discussion) does actually hear her characters talking to her, and often she'll reply to them out loud, and it's hard for her to work out which voices are in her head and which are in real life, sometimes.
I don't hear voices. I hear thoughts.
(That said, I think hearing voices would be kind of cool.)
And I don't even have anything close to seeing things.
I'm not delusional either, or at least, I don't think I am. My friends point out that thinking my characters are real is a delusion. I'm not an idiot, though. I realise that they aren't real HERE. But I believe everything exists, somewhere.
Although - one of the questions on that test (which I have to take again now I'm alone and can think properly) (because I'm interested, you know) asked if I have to discuss things with my inner voice before I can make a decision, and I actually realised that I do. You know when I rant here, and it's more for me to hear than you to hear? That's just me talking to myself. That's me discussing with my inner voice. And I have to write down all my thoughts here and think things through here before I can decide.
Which was rather enlightening.
There were a few other interesting things the test mentioned, like walking around in circles/biting your fingernails before you can do something, and I'm like O_O because I Be A Pacer And A SkinAroundFingernails
Chewer.
And it asked if I disagreed with myself, kind of. Like . . . contradictory thoughts and opinions, that's pretty much how it worded it. And I was like O_O because I definitely definitely do.
Although I can explain why.
I bet, when some little primary-school kids come home and tell their mums that people are being mean to them, some mums just insult the people who are being mean. My mum always told me to imagine how they were feeling, and made me think about how they probably wouldn't have a very happy life if they were doing that kind of thing, and . . . yeah.
So it's probably automatic for me to look at the other side, because that's what I was brought up to do.
Anyway, yes.
So my friends apparently think I'm schizophrenic.
I am slightly unable to understand why they would think this.
And yeah.
#ChaseForBookNine
Hello..l
Hello...?
Also, at break:
Me: I just had a FANTASTIC lesson.
Friend: *looks astonished* RS???
Me: Yes!
You know the boy who really annoys me? We had a few long debates and I'm sorry but IT WAS SO FUN.
I like debating.
Seriously, though . . . MIss would tell us to discuss something on our tables, within seconds me and him would be arguing, sooner or later the whole room would be staring at us, after a bit Miss would stop the discussion and make us put our hands up to share out thoughts, I'd put my hand up, he'd put my hand up and disagree with me, I would start arguing with him, and on it went. *nods*
We were saying "Should life always be saved?" or something like that.
And he was saying that terroists need to die.
And I was saying no.
And he was saying about his uncle in the army getting killed by terrorists or something.
And I was pointing out that his uncle killed people.
And he was saying that his uncle did it for a good reason.
And I was saying that the terrorists probably thought they had a good reason.
And he was saying "Are you calling my uncle a terrorist?"
And I was saying "Just because an table is a object does not make all objects tables!"
And anyway, we basically were doing that.
And the girl on the other table was saying to me "You argue with Ryan about everything!!! Can't just agree for once?"
And I was saying "But I don't agree!"
And I said that if he said the sky was blue I would probably agree with him, and then I was like actually no I would probably point out that it's grey sometimes, and she was like "Ryan, say the sky's blue" and Ryan was like "She just disagreed with HERSELF there!" and this boy on the girl's table was saying that the sky could be orange and I mentioned that it was pink yesterday and the girl was like "we are NOT discussing this".
And anyway. :)
I really enjoyed that lesson.
#ChaseForBookNine
Hi Lantern, Rhydian! :)
#ChaseForBookNine
Wow Star 0_0 I wish I could go to your school now. Think I'm pretty much done with mine. Feel like shit......
How are you btw?
Hullo Moss! And how are you?
@Rhydian: I would also like you to come to my school; then I would get to hang out with a friend who doesn't think I'm schizophrenic. C:
(That said, it was only two of them who said it.)
(The others were just kind of inputting their opinion on the subject in a you-might-be-slightly-crazy way.)
(But either way, you're awesome, Rhydian. :))
ANd - L( on feeling like shit. *hugs*
Arghhhh . . . now I've had time to think out my decisions better (at the time, I started discussing it and pondering it out loud and then they were like JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION and then I said something and then I was like no and then they were like "Too bad sent the answer through") and realised what they mean, I am scorinig slightly higher on this schizophrenia quiz.
This is slightly worrying.
#ChaseForBoookNine
Hi Star...
I think Owen shared your thinking on that... He lit candles...
Hi Rhydian. I'm still sick and tired and don't want to move, but I'm in a good mood from making Blogland-themed t-shirts, which requires only finger movement.
Oh, I got pretty much the same. :)
"Your points: 70.
A normal result is 15 to 65 points.
Your result is beyond the range of normal values."
"In general, you are more prone to schizophrenia than 49417 people who have passed the test in the last 30 days. "
Um . . . yeah.
Huh.
. . .
#ChaseForBookNine
@Lantern: :( *hugs*
#ChaseForBookNine
Today has broken me...so tired (mentally and physically)
Well I don't think you're whatever that word was. And my friends genuinely think I'm insane. But I actually do have a mental disorder so :P My friends today have either forgotten about me or have pissed me off...yeah, I shall replace them with you guys. Miss coming here all the time
Huh though. I'm reading the comments and watching people talk about how they got 95 or how they were ahrd to answer because social anxiety/depression or how it runs in the family and I'm like . . . yeah . . .
Not insane, then. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
@Rhydian: I am basically addicted to Blogland.
It is rather scary.
Being insane is cool. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
I think I shall have to be home-schooled-within-Blogland *nods*
Sounds good to me :)
@Rhydian: PLEASE SAY I CAN JOIN YOU. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
IF COURSE YOU CAN!!! *tacklehugs* EVERYONE CAN!!!!!
Lol be more of one big epic party haha but that's still good!
Just both of you, remember. Things might be different about you, but none of them are "wrong." You're beautiful people, okay? [hugs]
Actually, that goes for all of you amazing Bloglandians.
Star, I'm actually close to recommending the books that have been making me think/have emotions a lot lately, because you strike me as someone who likes thought-provoking books...
At the same time, though, when a book affects me like that, and I've mentioned it, it's hard to recommend that book to anyone else...
Damn.
I think this schizophrenia thing may actually be a possibility.
*sighs*
Thank you very much, irl friend. :P
(I mean, I'm not hallucinative or delusional, which are kind of the main things, but other than that . . . XD)
Meh. I shall dump this in my pile of things that I shall try not to worry about.
#ChaseForBookNine
*friends
#ChaseForBooNine
*hugs Fabi*
Anyway. I have homework to do, so wbd.
#ChaseForBookNine
Wbd. Watching Supernatural
I'm homeschooled....
It generally leads people to believe that I'm some, sort of super-responsible genius weirdo.
It's odd.
@Lantern: *laughs* Well, you're probably more responsible than me because I'm not very responsible, and you're a weirdo (but that's a compliment when it comes from me. All the best people are weirdos) and you're definitely super and everyone is a genius in their own way.
So um?
#ChaseForBookNine
Wbd, being sick and making T-shirts
Well, thank you. :-P
People shouldn't tell me things, though.
Because I stress.
And the main reason I was annoyed was because I knew I would stress.
I can't get things out of my head once they're in.
And clashing.
Ugh, clashing thoughts.
D says they aren't normal, but she is at the very normal end of normal.
And of course it took me a while to emotionally recover, and in English I was practically crying and then my head felt sort of like it was filled with water (not literally) and then I felt fizzy, which was sort of like floaty and sort of like dizzy but it wasn't really similar to either of them.
And if I want to avoid things because I know I will have to deal with me reacting to it, then maybe that is a proper Affect and maybe having things that Affect are Serious.
But not that Serious.
I did the lesson just fine and managed to be usual me (Sir had a question on the board that said something like "What other information do you need to know to fully a piece of literature?" and I immediately ranted that the question was invalid because you couldn't 'fully understand' it because everyone understood things differently and we would never understand it how the author did because we are not him and nobody can ever 'fully' understand anything and everyone was like kind of looking at me like . . . okay . . .
Because that's what happens, you know.
#ChaseForBookNine
Bye Rhydian [hugs]
[hugs Starrrryyyy]
Fours, Rhydian! :(
@Lantern: I hope you get better soon. :) :) *gives her a purple banana, because they might have magical betterness properties*
#ChaseForBookNine
(Hello!
I almost started crying in class because me new Lit teacher is so much scarier than Mr. King was... On the website, they had me down for the wrong class, and when I tried to tell her that, she was all "that's you and me time, not now."
And yeah
Nearly cried. I calmed down after a little bit of joking around done by her and she got me on the site but man
MAN
And now I can't stop THINKING.
People shouldn't TELL me things because they won't go AWAY.
I can forget things like cliffhangers and deadlines. Back of my mind, all fine.
I can't deal with OTHER things.
It's like when I get obsessed with pointless things and I can't stop THINKING about it.
Like with playlisting or THAT DAMN CD or something.
And whenever I go off I can't stop THINKING about it and it's THERE and my thoughts won't LEAVE.
My friend thinks she's insane, though . . . we had a rather good conversation in science. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
*Reads up*
*Hugs Star* You aren't schizophrenic. And they don't have a right or a place to label you like that.
SO yeah. Screw them.
@Adra: :( :( :( *hugs*
Well, it's good you didn't cry, I guess, although if you need to cry you should cry, but . . . yes. Crying in school is not so good, because attention-attracting.
Um . . .
*hugs*
#ChaseForBooknine
(I think that if I began to cry, people would be mean about it... And my teacher would be like "suck it up")
[Takes purple banana]
[hugs Star]
[hugs Adra]
@Adra: Thank you. :) :)
You know, I was thinking about how you were awesome whilst walking to school today (I'm not quite sure how it started. I was doing that thing where you imagine you're telling somebody something and then I was talking about one thing and it lead to another thing and I'm not sure how it got to you being awesome but it did) and anyway, you're awesome. :) :) :) Thought I should mention. I had quite a lot to ramble on about, although, as always happens when you're trying to explain how someone is awesome, I couldn't really sum it up because everyone is unique and there have never been words invented to describe them because there's never been them before, but that's not the point. :)
Although, when I get to school, I need to apologise for being annoyed at them . . . *nods*
Because it's quite nice of them to worry about me in their free time.
#ChaseForBooKnine
@Lantern: *smiles* :) :)
@Adra: Oh, people often ignore me. *shrugs*
I get really mad about it, because I can't stand that if someone was really depressed or something, they would just get ignored.
In maths, people generally just get on with their lives. Once someone asked me if I was okay.
In RS, I sit opposite the annoying boy, and he sits near his friend, so they have a go at me all lesson and then tease me about it in the future.
In science, I'm with my friend, so that's all good.
In German, it's become really common so nobody really minds anymore, although my friend kind of mostly ignores me and the people around occasionally ask if I'm okay.
In IT, I sit near a load of horrible people so crying then would not be good.
In French and English and history, I sit near nice people who I don't know that well, so I wouldn't want to scare them off with my full weirdness so it would be bad. I'm sure I've cried in history before, but . . . ah, yes. When we're watching films, no one really notices, and when we're doing work people tell me I'm mad for finding the topic sad.
Um . . .
That's about it?
#ChaseForBookNine
*well, the girl next to me was like "what the hell." Other than that I was ignored.
People make less of a big deal about it than you would think.
#ChaseForBookNine
(*Hugs Star* You're awesome too. But you know that. :P)
(I should go to school with you sometime. I'll be your bodyguard.)
@Adra: Bodyguard against what? :P
Then again, I'm not objecting. :) :) It would be awesome if you could come to school with me.
And - yeah, I know that. *nods*
XD
#ChaseForBookNine
(Thanks. :) *hugs*)
#ChaseForBookNine
(*Cuddleboos* Well. Bodyguard, emotional aid, genius sidekick, the works.)
@Adra: I think you would be pretty awesome at all of that. :) I could pay you in purple bananas. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
Also, I realised today that talking offline is, to me, a kind of a secondary inadequate have-to-make-do-with form of communication. I really wanted to email my friends so that I could talk to them properly because I knew I wouldn't manage it as well verbally.
This reliance-on-the-internet is rather frightening. XD
#ChaseForBookNine
(The outernet is scary...
Sorry. I have to go!! *hugs*)
@Adra: It is. O_O And FOURS!
Lantern, are you still here? :)
#ChaseForBookNine
Me: *pding homework* *starts typing a question into google* *types 'what are the'*
First suggestion: what are the symptoms of depression
Second suggestion: what at the signs of depression
:'(
*hugs everyone who typed that*
*hands them all bubble mixture, because bubbles are awesome and make everything better*
#ChaseForBookNIne
Fourth suggestion: what are the bases
XD
The third is '7 wonders of the world' . . .
#ChaseForBookNine
*backspaces out the 'the'
First suggestion: what are the symptoms of cystic fibrosis
:/
ALTHOUGH -
Third suggestion: what are cookies
THE HELL?
#ChaseForBookNIne
(*Sneaks in*
*Hugs Star* :)
You're awesome
*Hugs*
*Sneaks out*)
Oh, left. They mean the internet type of cookies. *facepalm*
I had pictures of yummy biscuits in my mind.
#ChaseForBookNine
@Adra: YOU WOULD BE AWESOMER IF WE WERE THE SAME SPECIES!!! *hugs*
(But I'm a bubble, so I'm obviously superior.)
#ChaseForBookNine
Sorry I poofed,,,, had to get up and eat something...
Why am I rereading this book? [Dies]
@Lantern: *hugs* :)
And - because you are?
#ChaseForBookNine
I am going to cry later, especially if I reread the sequel next.
[hugs Star]
OH MY GOSH.
This morning, before school, I was doing a Sudoku. A weird one, like where you have ten numbers in each box and each box in 2x5 and there are ten boxes.
And . . .
Let's say '0' represents an empty space . . .
The box looked like this:
10 5 0 0 9
00 0 0 0 7
And now I will show you where could potentially have gone (marked with 1s) . . .
10 5 1 0 9
01 1 1 0 7
And I suddenly had a feeling that the 1 would go in this place (marked with a 1):
10 5 1 0 9
00 0 0 0 7
And I didn't put it in (that would be stupid, but I told myself to remember it, wanting to see if I had been correct.
And that was at the very beginning of the Sudoku.
And now I'm about halfway through, and I have just discovered that the 1 DOES go in the place I had a random feeling it did.
O_O
I PREDICTED THE FUTURE.
#ChaseForBookNine
*1
@Lantern: :( :( *hugs*
Don't stop yourself from crying, it's bad for you. But don't make yourself want to cry TOO much! D: *hugs*
(Sounds like a good book, though. :))
#ChaseForBookNine
(And there have to be two numbers under every 10 to keep the thing in line, sorry!)
#ChaseForBookNine
My dad loves weird sudoku puzzles like that...
[hugs back]
((It is. It's so terrible and yet real at the same time... D:))
@Lantern: It sound fantastic. :) :)
And - I just love Sudoku. :P
This book occasionally has 2x3 boxes and 2x5 boxes, and it has some big puzzles at the end. I prefer my other book . . .
Which is why I'm doing this one first.
(You know, it's like the other week. It was PD day, and I had written down 'K18' in my planner for the room after break - a room that doesn't exist. My friend D told me it was a 7 that looked a bit weird. I told her it wasn't, because when I misspelt my sevens, they didn't go like that, because I drew them another way and they looked different. She said "It's a seven, Holly" and gave me directions to K78.
I betted her five pence it wasn't a seven, and she took on the bet because she was sure it was a seven, even though it was MY handwriting and wouldn't I know?
And then I went off to my lesson KNOWING it wasn't K78 because I WOULDN'T have misdrawn a seven and had it look like that.
My room turned out to be K80. My brain had messed up and word-associated.
But it's just the way she arrives at a conclusion and says "It must be this" when surely /I/ would know, not her?
And yes.
Bbs, dinner.)
#ChaseForBooknine
[Nods]
I'm scared to recommend it, though, tbh
Hm..
See you
BACK!
Well, if you recommend it to me, then even if I don't like it, I'll probably get why you do . . . but obviously you don't in any way have to recommend it to me. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
@Lantern: *nods*
*stores in memory somewhere*
*frowns as I remember all the holes in my memory* *I blame Hunter and his pickaxe*
*AHA!*
*stores it in phone memos*
#ChaseForBooknine
Hunter....
I still haven't met him, have I?
Odd.
*looks up on internet* It sounds like it could be cool, but I refuse to pass judgement until I have read books. *nods*
#ChaseForBookNine
@Lantern: *laughs* Yes.
Very odd.
#ChaseForBookNine
Fair enough. [Nods as well]
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
My friend (F) pointed out that I am different to how I was a two years ago and to how I am different to when we met in year five and I'm like OF COURSE I AM PEOPLE CHANGE.
In the last two years, I have become a Bloglandian, which will have a lifelong effect on your sanity, changed me greatly as a person (for the better), and gave me a lot more confidence, in general, in people-skills and in being myself.
I think some of the greatest results that occurred from Blgolandianism is the fact that I am now less afraid to be different, tend to state my opinions a lot, know how to help people out sort of sometimes, have conversation skills, am a bubble, and . . . other stuff. No point wasting time pondering over it.
All in all, this place has made a big impact on my life.
OF COURSE I AM A FUCKING DIFFERENT PERSON.
Besides, all people change. Every year, I can look back and note how I've changed.
I like being me. I am proud to be me. Being me is awesome.
And just because I am not a very normal person does not make me officially insane (unofficially insane is a different story).
And I was kind of lonely before I discovered here, because my friends were much normaller than me, and we didn't really . . . click exactly into place.
Oh, my friends are awesome, and all.
Now, we hang out with B and C, who are not normal at all, and me and C . . . she said once that our similarities are very similar, but our differences are very different. And we understand each other in a way that my other irl friends don't understand me. Like with things like metaphorical conversations and all the annoying things and the sad things and the interesting things about having characters in your head, and stuff.
And yes.
But my point is, I was never entirely normal, although of course I couldn't be because there's no such thing as normal. And I realise that I am a lot more insane now than I used to be, but the point is, I'm happy. I am very happy. When I was crying the other day because Hunter and Ez had committed suicide, F asked me in a disorder-questionnaire way if I was sad a lot, and I replied that no, I'm actually happy a lot of the time. Because I am.
I am very happy, thank you very much.
And I'm a lot happier than I used to be when I was less insane.
(Although, to tell the truth, I also didn't tend to burst into tears every few days. However . . . you know that kind of happy feeling you get when you just feel HAPPY? It's a bit like the floaty feeling I get, except it's less reality-distant and isn't as extreme.)
It's like when I'm thinking about how much I love Blogland and I just feel HAPPY.
And I have much more love and happiness in my life than I used to.
And I kind of like having a reputation for being weird (had that since primary, actually. So I haven't changed that much. I used to do things like curl up in a ball on the field and just lie there. I had this special place I would lie, this kind of special hollow, and I would look for it and lie there and just curl up in a ball and stare at the beautiful weather and just exist and feel happy. So maybe I DID have that kind of happiness, but it wasn't as recurrent. But anyway, I got dreadfully teased and people still ask me about that occasionally. Where was I? Oh. *ends brackets*), even if it can get annoying, and I'm perfectly glad to be slightly insane, and to be honest, I am happy as I am, so I would appreciate it is people would not label me and inform me there's something wrong with me.
Although, you know, I'm feeling happy at the moment. My mind will probably change when I'm in a different mood. *shrugs*
Sorry. Like I said . . . I use this place to work out what my thoughts are and to help me think them.
Blogland is my anchor in multiple ways, and its function as a place where I can rant is one of them.
#ChaseForBookNine
*hugs Lantern* :) :)
Mushroom says 'fairy nuff' rather than 'fair enough'. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
[hugs Star]
Well, Lucy is Lucy and I'm me, so... [shrugs]
"The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everybody is trying to make you somebody else."
- Zayn Malik
*hugs Mara* :) :)
Excellent quote. :)
@Lantern: That you are. :) If you were Lucy, then Lucy wouldn't be as awesome, and if Lucy were you, then you wouldn't be as awesome, and either way, we would lose a lot of awesomeness because you and her are both awesome. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
MARALILY [hugs]
That is a really good quote.
[hugs Stararararar]
@Lantern: You have the best nicknames. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
Thanks..,
Sorry I've been not-very-wordy today...
I heard my name mentioned.
Essentially, it shouldn't matter what my friends say I have, because people can think what they like about me and it's my opinion that matters.
That's something else my mum taught me. She always said that as long as I knew in my heart that I was right, then that should be enough.
And it makes me wonder, you know, what it would be like if the basic building blocks of all your views didn't come from awesome people like my mum because maybe their parents weren't awesome or weren't around.
Like, the boy I sit opposite in RS. He said that terrorists deserve to die. I said, but think about WHY they're terrorists, maybe they had a sad life, and did you know that if you aren't loved when your young those passageways don't open up in your brain so it's harder for you to love when you're older . . .
And I said that because basically, my mum is awesome and she brought me up really well.
And other people won't have that.
#ChaseForBookNine
Hi Mushroom! :)
@Lantern: That is fine. :) Wordy or not, you're still awesome. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
Lucyyyyyyyy [hugs]
Hello guys. :3
Then again, maybe terrorists have had perfectly good lives but they just believe that blowing up a few people along the way to achieving their goals is a necessarily sacrifice.
That's kind of how Hunter thinks. *nods*
Like I said, he's a really bad role model.
And the thing is . . . if you kill a terrorist, they're gone, dead.
There's still a chance that you could make them into better people, and maybe they could change the world for the better.
If you kill them, you've lost any chances.
One person can change the world immensely. One person. Look at Skulduggery. He is the different between his dimension and the Mevolent-in-power dimension.
ONE PERSON.
And that is why suicide is never the answer.
*glares pointedly at Hunter and Ez*
#ChaseForBookNine
How are you, Mushroom?
And you, Lantern, I suppose, but she just arrived, so . . . :P
I'm speaking to two people whom I have odd nicknames for.
O_O
#ChaseForBookNine
*she being Mushroom
#ChaseForBookNine
I'm okay, Star! How are you?:)
Wbd - writing Imperfect.
And my new book too. c:
Dynamite
Mmf. I'm as well as can be expected.
:-)
You know, things like Sudoku and Minesweeper are so amazingly symbolic. Like . . . you have one number, and you don't know where it goes, and you have to work out the other numbers, and then from that you can work out where the first number goes. But you can only work out the other numbers by using the first number.
And it's like . . . you can't work any of them out unless you put them together.
And in life, people can't really get anywhere or work anything out unless the combine forces and work together.
And maybe you don't see how helping someone can help you, but in the future, they may end up helping you, and they wouldn't be able to if you hadn't helped them.
Idk, it's nice. :)
#ChaseForBooknine
Hey Zaf! :)
ZAFMITE. :)
(was that the name?)
@Mushroom: NEW BOOK? O_O
STOP OVERLOADING MY LOOKING-FORWARD-TO-NESS. :P
@Lantern: Well, it's good that you're doing well considering the circumstances. :) *hugs*
I AM A BUBBLE. *nods, not thinking any more validation is required*
#ChaseForBookNine
Hey Zaf!
Oh, yeah, I'm writing a book in first/second person. Maybe with a bit of third person too. It's weird, but the ending is ace. And that's why I decided to write the rest of it. :')
@Mushroom: DON'T MAKE ME WANT TO READ IT. :P
It sounds like it could be interesting, though. :)
*doesn't like to judge books unless I've read them or part of them*
#ChaseForBookNine
THE EZTER SONG (not the awesome one Lantern made, the other one that I designated to Ezter even though it wasn't intended for them) CAME ON AND I WAS JUST YOU KNOW CRYING I LOVE IT.
#ChaseForBookNine
When I finally come around, it takes me a while for my eyes to focus to the bright lighting of the room. Everything around me seems to be white, apart from the bulky men in black around the room. Whilst they're all armed, only one has a gun, and he looks ready to shoot it. You're in the line of fire, I can see his gun aimed straight at your chest. He's going to try to kill you, "Move!" I scream.
You stay stood exactly where you are, your lips blue and even from across the room I can see how your bare skin is dotted with goosebumps. You look like a statue. You're not moving.
"Get out of his way! You'll die!" I scream at you, elbowing the man who's arms are wrapped tightly around me. His grip tightens, so I continue to thrash. Having lost my blade, I feel completely useless and that fear begins to seep in through my pores.
My blood feels as though it has ceased to flow through my body and my organs feel colder than you appear to be.
My body goes limp as a plan formulates in my mind - the more limp I become and the lighter I seem to be, the looser his grip on me will become and it will allow me a moment of opportunity to attack him.
After inhaling deeply, my plans begins, running smoothly until the opportune moment arises. Once again, my right elbow comes back, meeting his crotch with more power than I have ever summoned.
The power consumes the chill in the room and in my body. My once pale complexion glows rouge. I can do anything.
In blind anger, I snatch up the fallen man's blade and quickly jab him in the throat. Blood explodes from his oesophagus. Spinning, I strike the next villain who stands in my way, killing him just as efficiently. As the blood pours from his chest, I allow myself a brief glance up at the man holding the gun. The safety is now off. You can still move. You can still get away. Yet you stay completely still.
Anger flows out of me, like an ugly wave of crimson, and it cuts through all of the foes who stand in my way, like a blade sharper than any other I had ever seen. Though it takes a while, I realise what it is: I have finally found my magic.
Excitement replaces my anger, mixed with a sense of relief. Even though I'm a lot older than I should be to have finally found my power, it's here. Magic finally chose me.
I'm forced to bite it back, and I twirl the knife in my hand like it's a baton.
You're out of my sight, but I can still feel your presence. You don't feel like anyone else. You feel honest and real, your presence feels beautiful and pure. It feels like you. Your very presence comforts me, as though we have a bond and you're ushering for me to be calm.
Serenity rolls over me like a wave, making me certain of what I'm to do.
Stepping forward, I hold the blade as though I'm going to throw it. It's much lighter than any spear I've held, and it feels alien in my hands, but I know what I have to do, so I'm going to do it. No matter the consequences.
Closing my eyes and breathing in and out slowly, I toss the silver knife. It flies from my grip, and for a moment I feel completely happy and safe; your presence is still certain, but his is not. It is weakening.
"You're safe! I'm so sorry I dragged you into this! I was terrified that he'd shoot you!"
"Fei, he might not have shot me, but look at your stomach." You say, sounding uncertain and almost terrified.
My eyes search my reflection in the window and a gasp escapes my lips. "Oh." I manage, my eyes resting on the wound.
After some argument, you manage to sit me down on the blood-soaked floor. I feel weak. I know already that I won't survive.
Our eyes meet and my dry lips move slowly until a quiet, strained voice escapes from them. "I'm sorry," I say, "for what I've done. I just couldn't bear to think what pain would befall you should the bullet have hit you instead. My only instinct was to protect the person I love. My only instinct was to protect you.
Forgive me, my love, I just need you to be happy... I wish we could be together, I-"
My sister just brought back that book I was going on about . . .
I thought she wouldn't get why it was awesome. :/ I asked her, and she said she couldn't really explain it, but it was awesome.
Me: Oh. :/
Her: One way in which it was awesome was - the future isn't doomed!
Me: *sighs, resigning myself to being a lover of things not many people understands*
She didn't get it, basically. Didn't think she would.
She thought it was awesome though, so yay. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
@Mushroom: That is awesome. O_O
I really like the mingling of persons, and I also think it sounds interestingness. :) Like . . . the plot. Although I don't know much about it, which ALSO makes it interesting. :)
#ChaseForBookNine
D':
It's just the ending I wrote by accident and it became a book from that little bit, idk.
It's just, that book I keep going on about . . .
It's they way it's HOPELESS.
And there is NO way they can win.
And they have NO idea even how to make it work.
And everyone is giving up.
And nobody believes they're serious.
And when they realise they are, they think they're insane and doomed to fail.
And what am I saying, THEY? The only one who really believes is Kelsier, and he's DESPERATE. And he's just standing there, saying "THIS is what we're fighting against, we HAVE to do this" and it's just heartbreaking because he doesn't even know HOW. And . . . *crying*
And . . .
and people always say that hope is beautiful, and it drives you on, but they didn't HAVE hope.
But they kept trying anyway.
Because they had to at least TRY.
Ohmygosh.
It's like . . . *crying*
I don't know.
Just that moment, that one moment in that book, it was just fantastic.
That one page.
Plus the characters.
Oh, the characters.
KELSIER.
And the philosopher guy! D: I was hugging the book at one point because HE IS SO LIKE ME IN SOME WAYS and I love how he says the most interesting things and then people and just like "I don't get it" and "I think you gave me a headache" and THAT IS HOW IT IS LIKE WITH ME.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH.
And KELSIER.
Yes.
Plus, I ship Valend.
Is the ship name that?
Let's make it that.
#ChaseForBooknine
@Mushroom: It sounds awesome. :)
And, sometimes stories are like that. The difference is with me, I never end up writing them. XD
#ChaseForBooknien
Plus, the insanity.
You know.
And how it was INSANE but they were doing it anyway.
And at one point, whatshisname started saying "You're insane", but then he just stopped hlafway through and looked at the rest of the group and the other whatshisname was like just "You're finally catching on."
Idk, it really appealed to me. :)
Just the SPIRIT of it.
#ChaseForBooknine
(Hallo!)
Hey Adra! :)
#ChaseForBookNine
Hi!! *Hugs* how are you, lovely?
And- what was the name of the book you're reading again? My interest has been piqued.
I'm not reading it. I read it. My sister just read it, though . . .
It's the first book in the Mistborn series. The author is Brandon Sanderson, and the title is The Final Empire.
And - I am quite good. I feel happy. :)
You?
#ChaseForBookNine
Omg mom hit our mailbox and broke a light on the car and the mailbox but she did slide on ice
Lines
They intersect
They run parallel
Sometimes they're straight,
Other times
They twist and turn
And you never knows where they're going to go
Lines can connect us
They can divide us
Sometimes they're hard to see amid all the right and wrong
Lines can form patterns
In a sense, they form everything
This poem is made of lines
@Lantern: That's awesome. :)
*thinks about it*
Sorry, I disappeared a bit to have a shower.
I haven't prevented the suicide yet. :P
#ChaseForBookNine
I like that, Fabs
Hm...
*Walks around her lab, cleaning up as she goes*
*Her sickness has subsided today, so it must have been the potion she had*
*Drinking a fruit smoothie of apples and strawberries, with a few kiwis*
(This English teacher is going to be hell... Goodness.)
*Adjusts the chairs, moves things around, small little changes*
*Eventually goes back to the holding cell room she prepared, picks up a stylus, and draws more sigils*
*Paul walks around the compound. He is looking for Madame and Adra. He spots a few girls*
Paul: Hey have any of you seen Madame or that girl, the one that punched me?
Girl: Madame was in Lorcan's room with Lara, last we saw.
Girl2: Why you so interested?
Paul: Never you mind.
*He walks off and keeps on his track around the compound.
(Hello everyone!)
(Yo Em!)
*She turns, and seems that the room is fit enough for use*
*Exits the room, a note on the door for when he gets there*
*Makes a quick portal back to the camp, landing in her room*
*Slices her finger, and touches the portal with her blood. It closes.*
Alexis: *is still with Lorcan*
Hey Em! :)
Sorry for my distance. I'm, um, writing. O_O
No, I have no idea how this is happening either.
#ChaseForBookNine
[waves and hugs]
*Paul kept walking around. He didn't know what room anyone was in apart from his own.*
Paul: God damn it!!! *he punches a corridor wall*
Alexis: *slips out to walk* You're Paul.
Paul: You're Lorcan's girl right? Hows he doing?
Alexis: Yes, my name is Alexis. And....he threw up silver stuff. It was all very nasty.
Paul: Well let him know, we're thinking of him.
Have you seen that girl, she was with Madame yesterday, she punched me. I don't know her fucking name. Do you even know what room she's in, its really important.
Mara: *sits up, sighing softly*
Harry: *reaches out, pulls her back gently until her head is on his chest and she's lying down on the couch with him* Boo, stop worrying.
Mara: I can't, Harry. She's our daughter. *starts biting her nails*
(I WROTE NIALLS GODAMMIT)
Harry: Baby, please relax. Your friend Riley said she'll mind her for a while, just to make sure she's safe.
Mara: But we can mind her, H...
Harry: Mara, *softly* you know that right now, Mackenzie needs to be in the safest place she can be in right now. And she is.
Mara: But I don't want...
Harry: Shhh. Don't say it. *runs his hand through his hair*
Mara: *curls up beside him* *starts shaking*
Harry: Hey, hey, Mara, boo, please don't cry. I'm upset too. Come here. *wraps her in a bear hug* Everything will be okay. I promise.
Mara: I'm sorry. *sobs* Everywhere I go, trouble follows me. If you never met me-
Harry: If I never met you, I would have been extremely unhappy and lonely, and you know that. *sharply*
Mara: I'm sorry. *whimpers*
Harry: *sighs* *kisses her forehead* Don't apologise when you haven't done anything wrong, Mara.
Mara: Mmm.
Harry: I love you, okay?
Mara: I love you too, Harry.
Harry: *leans down and kisses her*
Alexis: Adra. And I don't know either honestly. I haven't left Lorcan's side until now.
Paul: Okay, don't worry about it. I'll find her myself.
Just mind Lorcan and keep him alive.
Alexis: I'm trying, believe me. *tilts head* I thought you hated him.
(HEEEEEERALEE)
((Harralieeee))
((Is watching all your plots, but doesn't have the energy to work on my own))
(Mara broke my feels, I'm on my knees picking them up off the floor. Dayum gurl!!!)
Paul: I... No one should ever go through what he is going through. I wouldn't wish it on my greatest enemy.
Alexis: Thank you. It means a lot for someone to care.
(OH HOLLAH GOT MY ENGLISH DONE
Woop)
((Congratulations, Adra!))
(Yay.)
(Wait.
No
Nevermind. I still have to annotate. My friend just took this class, and said that I should NOT have any blank pages, even if the material on it is just pointless dialogue.
I'm not kidding, either.
It's
just
dialogue.
nothing
else
im going insane.))
(Thats stupid)
(Dinner
I hope that, whoever you are, you escape. I hope the world turns for you, and it gets better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand that even though I do not know you, even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart. I love you.
#ChaseForBook9
((Hugs Adra))
((Hugs Ari))
Woo I pulled a Moss! I love it when she does that. Those weren't my words, though- they're borrowed. If you haven't seen V for Vendetta, you should. *hugs everyone* I'm probably going now, though- I need to study. But you're all amazing.
#ChaseForBook9
Thanks you to everyone who said they liked my plot *hugs*
((hugs Ari again and waves))
((hugs Maralily))
*Hugs* Hi/Bye hun
(Hi/bye Ari...
(We roleplay now???)
(I'm here
(Yes..?)
(YES!!!!)
*Paul eventually finds out where Adra is staying at the compound. He knocks on the door*
*Lorcan is lying asleep. He is sweating and fidgeting a lot. He has a fever*
Alexis: *goes to Lorcan and sits looking at home*
Popping back in to say that someone else can have the ded, if anyone wants it.
#ChaseForBook9
(Huh. Coming later Ari?
ZAFFY CALLS THE DED
*Glances up* Come in!
((If no one else wants to, I'll ded.))
((Or not))
*Paul comes in and closes the door behind him*
Paul: I have something to show you, I think its important.
*He takes out a small switch blade and cuts across his arm*
I dedicate this page to Chase. May he have a Palacd up there. And to Em for staying strong through it all.
(*Raises chalice* Hear hear!)
*Takes a step back* What. The hell are you doing?
(Herrow!)
#ChaseForBook9
(Aww Zaf, thank you sweets xxx *hugs*)
Paul: Wait, wait. Watch.
*A trickle of blood comes initially from the cut but is steadily followed by a trickle of silver*
(*hugs*)
*paces my treehouse bitterlly*
Hello...?
I should be asleep, but I can't. Because there is this nagging at the back of my head. And it's going, "come on Jane, tell someone. Let it out."
So I guess that's what I'm doing.
Today, in Art, we were doing Decorative Lettering. We had to pick any word out of a hat and write that word, then do illustrations around it to emphasise that word.
I got "perfect".
I was sitting there for a good ten minutes, thinking about it. Then I remembered something that Luci said (it's a quote from ITS, I think);
"Being perfect isn't being flawless, it's being perfectly you."
So I started drawing.
A few minutes later, the teacher came over to examine my work, and saw that I had drawn splatters of paint, smiley faces, slanted letters and glasses and braces on some of the letters. She looked at me and asked, "Why did you make this so dirty-looking?" She wasn't insulting me, just asking. Because it did look dirty. But I said,
"Being perfect isn't about being flawless, or tidy, or what society wants you to be. Whether you like art and mess, whether you have glasses, or braces, or spots. Whether you are always smiling, or always nervous, or always thinking, or always frowning, or always curious. If you like reading, or if you like writing, if you like singing, if you like dancing. If you like playing and instrument, or playing a sport. It doesn't matter. Being perfect is about being the best you can be; reaching your full potential; being amazing in your eyes, and in others'. Even if you don't see it. Being perfect is about being perfectly you."
My teacher blinked at me for a moment, and then started to tear up. I was a bit taken aback, and thought I was in trouble. Then she said that "that was the most beautiful thing a First Year student has ever said to me."
Then she gave me an A+ :P
So, like I said up there (I hope you don't mind that I'm using your quote a lot, Luci *huggles*), perfection isn't about being beautiful, or smart, or mentally stable. It's about being you. Reaching your potential. Being the best you can be. Being amazing in other peoples' eyes, and your eyes. But sometimes you don't see it.
I still don't believe any compliments I get (which is very few irl :P), because I always think people are joking when they say it and I'm going to be laughed at or teased. But that's because it's been like that all my life. I'm sorry if I sound arrogant or cocky if I accept a compliment, I'm still trying to learn how to accept them...!
But, yeah. You are perfect. In my eyes, at least. Even if you don't believe it yourself. I love you. (:
And now I'm off to bed. Nanite xx
(Hello, Trip!
MARA
I love you so much. You're amazayn. *huggles tightly* I LOVE YOUUUUUU)
*Blinks* But that... That's not possible.
Thats amazing Mara)
(AH! Hello Snow, as well. Sorry, didn't see you there~)
Yep. I blend in to the background.
*Paul just looks at her as he wraps up the cut*
Mara.
I'm crying.
I can't stop and I'm making noise but I'm still crying.
Mara
That was amazing.
Amazing.
*puts my copy and paste options to good use*
#ChaseForBookNine
( I should make that my screensaver, I really should.)
*Frowns* You don't feel like you're about to, like, explode? Or bite?
*Glares* If you're going to bite something, bite someone else.
(Hey Snow
Mara.... *huggles to death*
I'd like to, try and explain my appreciation of that through action, s it's easier to explain emotion and responses with actions without somewhat tarnishing the beauty of what was said, but, yeah. :P
So, I guess the best way to say how amazing that was, is to say I got goosebumps reading that, and I normally only get goosebumps from cringeworthy stuff, not beautiful suff.
So... yeah.
If I wasn't a robot, I might cry.
#ChaseForBok9
*Paul shrugs and smiles*
Paul: I feel absolutely fine.
@The ded Hear hear.
@Mata [hugs] [hugs Lucy, too] [Smiles]
(*hugs*)
Right..
You should tell Elizabeth, though.
(I think ill join Snow in the backround
*tackles zaf* BACKGROUND BUDDY!!
(*giggles and starts poking*
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