I should have announced this yesterday, to be honest, but I was in Swindon, in England, doing writerly things like chatting to 600 people, signing all their books, and then travelling on to the WH Smith head office and signing 500 copies of LSODM, so you'll forgive me if I was a tad... distracted.
But, without further ado, to those who have not yet heard, the title of the short story collection out next summer is...
Armageddon-Outta-Here.
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
I swear to god, I never thought Harper Collins would agree to this. My first instinct was to call it Tales of the Dead Men, but that wouldn't have been accurate because there'd probably only be one or two stories featuring the Dead Men — not enough to warrant a title.
Harper came back with The World of Skulduggery Pleasant, which is, let's face it, a title far too boring to exist.
I suggested Armageddon-Outta-Here as a joke, expecting everyone to dismiss it. But the more I thought about it, the more I said it in my head, the more I loved it. And suddenly I became determined to be the writer who has a book with THAT title.
Amusingly, Harper Collins agreed. And I couldn't be happier.
And if that wasn't awesome enough, we should actually have a cover reveal early next month for you to gawp at. Could I BE any nicer to you?
No. The answer is no.
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4,956 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2801 – 3000 of 4956 Newer› Newest»Well, Ms. Dark, I apologize if I have previously irritated you with my perissology.
Greetings, Ms. Kerias, Ms. Barnosky.
That it quite the absolutely jargoggling phenomenon, Ms. Barnosky.
((Now you're just being sassy))
*looks at her leg, which is spurting blood*
*Just about screams in frustration, grabbing a stick and using it to limp her way back to the fire pit*
(I agree. I agree.
So . . . How have you been?
Have you read the latest Superfluous Adventure?
It's a rather important bit of Precocious's backstory.
I myself haven't been doing much lately, apart from a lot of school and a lot of reading.)
Why, never, Ms. Dark.
I suppose I feel well enough, Ms. Barnosky. I just read it, quite an intriguing, and well-written, development.
And that is quite excellent to hear. One must not ignore one's studies, inside and outside of the university, lest one grow into a hoddypeak.
Ms. Dark, I read one of your entries as well, and it was equally well-written.
(Well, I don't know how long I'll be able to stay, but I suppose I . . .)
*is sitting at the fire pit*
*warming her frosty hands*
*looks up when Adra approaches*
Oh dear.
You don't look well.
((*tips hat* Much obliged))
*she makes it to the fire where she can see her crushed leg more clearly. It's bruising, black and purple, and blood is spurting from a deep gash next to her bone*
god my drama teacher sucks.
me and my friend need to swap. okay? example of why:
i'm doing performance poetry and she is doing a scripted play. she sucks in plays. i am great in plays. she hates plays. i love them. she loves performance poetry. i hate it. she rocks at performance poetry. i do not.
so, should we swap? yes!
Ravel: *is standing beside Zafira in the Roarhaven Sanctuary* Grand Mage Kerias?
I'm fine.
Tipstaff: Grand Mage Kerias, may I suggest you have your Cleavers guard yourself and Grand Mage Ravel?
I shall. Makes sense. *looks at my two Cleaver guards* Protect myself and Erskine.
Ravel: *to own Cleavers* Do the same as Zafira said. *glances at Tipstaff* you may go. *watches him leave*
*is silent for a moment and just takes Ravel's hand*
Ravel: I know. *kisses her hand* Come we have a lot to discuss. Alexis is awake now
Oh yeah- heh. Howabout that.
*barely blinks at the sight of Adra's mangled limb*
. . . Anything I can do to assist you?
Greetings, Ms. Stormberg.
hi sir. i am in a shit mood. *sits against a tree* ignore me. i'm not roleplaying.
(You need something cheerful.
Try going to YouTube and typing in
My Little Pony
If I'm not mistaken, little ponies will frolic across the screen when you do that.)
((I'm sorry, Snow. Perhaps trying just talking to her [your teacher]?))
*looks at her leg* uhhhhmmm I should be fine
Hmph. I suppose you're right. I've recovered from . . . worse . . . leg injuries than that.
*returns to warming her hands over the fire*
*she is white with cold*
*but the color is returning to her cheeks the longer she stays*
((If I brought someone over per say Baron Vengeous would you guys care? I have Zaf and Ravel gone for a reason...))
oh, i tried talking to her. and she just looked at me like i was a stupid five year old with a learning difficulty. and then she said, and i quote, "oh, sweetie, but the teacher knows best! now go do your poem!"
i want to kill her.
From what I heard, it wasn't your legs that received the damage. It would have been your nerves.
But I digress, I must get to my lab...
*hobbles in that direction*
*gets ten feet and falls over*
*groans, pulling out her bag and beginning to fix it up right there*
(Well, referring to oneself in the third person is always a bad idea, Snow, I agree. Annika does not approve of your teacher.)
((Well, part of doing schoolwork and experience in general is learning to be out of your comfort zone, and working with people who aren't necessarily the best at what they're doing.
I'm sorry, but it sounds like you'll just have to find a way to make it work.))
*looks at Adra*
Well, easy recovery or not, it CAN'T be healthy for you to be traipsing about in the snow with open wounds like that.
Here.
*stands up*
Let me at least help you to your lab.
i have tried. i really have. but... you haven't seen the poem we're doing. *shudders* i just... *sighs* everyone else is doing what they're good at. this teacher just doesn't like my friend and i. so she went and did this...
(If you need a poem written, I could likely do it for you. I've been praised for my . . .
*cough*
. . . mad skillz, dawg.)
((You can pull it off, Snow. I know you can :D))
*snaps at Doctor* Don't touch me.
*pauses*
That was mean. I'm sorry. *continues working*
right... no more crappy mood. i'm gonna ghost for a bit to try and cheer me up.
((and, Zaf- er... I'm not really participating in it... It doesn't matter to me))
*holds up hands*
Whoa now, you've got a crushed leg. You've got a right to be mean.
But I'll back off, if you really want me to.
*sits beside the fire pit*
*warming her hands*
*alone*
. . . You know, you're going to miss me when I'm dead.
I swear, for a minute I thought you were going into the cup song.
Ah, it's fine. You're still new to Blogland. In fact, you are never truly a Bloglandian until you have died at least once.
i'm just gonna say... i dont think snow has died. but i'm a bloglandian, right?
Avoiding certain death at least annually is a stipulation of the residency contact, you see.
Eh. So I've been told. But I hope I won't have to die and then . . . come back. It would give me all sorts of false hopes. I would think it was finally done, finally over, but NOPE.
Not dead yet.
*sigh*
It would be like tasting the first course of a banquet and being denied the rest.
*sits there*
*by the fire*
*warming her hands*
*alone*
. . . The cup song. That's good, that, it's good . . .
I'm ten feet from you you aren't alone.
*pours alcohol over her wound*
*curses loudly*
*chortles*
What a waste of alcohol.
Liquid courage, so they say. Didn't make me any braver. Made me a drunk, as well as a coward, instead.
Wouldn't be surprised if half my bad memory was thanks to the bottle . . .
*sighs*
*rubs her hands*
It's rubbing alcohol. It's cleaning all the dirt and gross stuff from the cut
(I know that, Adra, but Precocious is barely paying attention to you at this point.)
*thinks* god, i need to hurry up with the first part of snow's backstory so you guys can read how snow and lea first met...
((Oh. Apologies))
*her face whitens when she sees her own bone through the muscle*
*feels sick, but continues to thread her torn ligaments and muscles together*
Alexis is awake? Oh good!
Ravel: *smiles* Have you told her our news?'
Not yet...
Ravel: *takes to Medical Bay*
Alexis: Mom?
I'm here
*glances at Adra through bleary eyes*
That's a neat trick. You must be a very good cleric.
*stares back at the fire*
*thinking about Hershel*
*but pushes the memory away*
*and remains glum*
*like a sad little goth kid*
. . . I'm acting like a sad little goth kid.
*straightens up and brushes herself off*
Yeah, we all have those days, don't we?
*She continues on her muscles, doing her best to keep them relaxed*
I suppose we do.
*stands up*
*and paces around the fire pit*
*the fire casting a very long, top-hatted shadow behind her*
msd... *huggles all*
*nods, stitching her skin back together*
*glances at Doctor, recognizing the look on her face*
*pauses*
*gets back to work*
Alexis: Whats up?
I...
Ravel: She's got her wish
Alexis: boy or girl?
I don't know
*watches the fire*
*flickering in the night*
*but doesn't speak*
*plays with something in her pocket*
*without taking her eyes off the fire*
*finishes her leg, slowly wrapping it up, and getting to her feet* *sucks on a lollipop that numbs it*
*she wobbles over to Doctor, standing near her*
..Doctor..
*looks up sharply*
*as if awoken from something*
Hmm?
right, tomorrow you lot need to check my backstories blog. i will have a post up by then. *nods* lets direct my skills into something i know i'm good at... i might join in the roleplay in a sec
(*salutes Snow* Very well!
I believe I can stay for a while longer, but I am not certain. I might suddenly vanish. But hopefully not.)
((okay Snow))
*hugs the Doctor tightly*
I shall, Ms. Stormberg.
*looks very surprised*
Er . . . Adra?
I was under the impression you didn't want me to touch you.
(( okay then. thanks... ))
*sits in a tree in the distance, watching adra and the doctor carefully*
Nevermind me- you looked like you really needed a hug.
*looks surprised by the whole situation*
Did I?
Well . . . thank you, then.
*pats her on the back*
Thanks.
*pats her again*
Thank you.
*pat*
. . . You can let go, now.
*lets go*
*half-shrugs*
Just saying, I've had my heart broken as well before.
*opens her mouth to reply*
*doesn't know what to say*
*closes it again*
. . . We've all had our hearts broken.
That is what makes us great.
. . . Or maybe that's only a lie we're told so we don't give up on . . . everything.
*looks back at the fire*
*looks back at Adra*
Am I . . . that obvious?
*laughs slightly, seeing the scene*
How do you feel?
Alexis: better I guess
*sits beside* Nye worked wonders
Alexis: yeah...it scared me and so many Irish mages see me...
I know. *kisses cheek*
Ravel: Alexis, do you know what the Palace looked like?
Alexis: No. I'm sorry
I'm not sure to anyone else, but... When I glanced at you, it was like looking at a younger version of me.
Well.
Younger me was curled up in a ball on the floor.
Same difference.
*leans back against the trunk, eyes closed and balancing on the branch*
Yeah. Same difference.
You know, I-
*pauses*
*listens for a moment*
Do you . . . Do you hear something?
You mean the sneaker up in the tree?
Yeah.
The tree says she smells nice.
*smiles slightly at adras comment but stays where she is*
*jumps down* should have gone behind the cactus- *shuts up*
( lol )
Real inconspicuous.
*starts when she sees Snow*
*but smiles*
There you are, Snow, I thought it might be you.
Did you know that I myself once hid behind a cactus?
And nobody saw me. Hmm.
I guess nobody looks behind the cactus.
It's okay Alexis...
Ravel: Get better alright?
Alexis: Course
*Ravel and I go to his office*
Ravel: treehouse?
Yes *we appear in the treehouse
very.
*glances at the doctor* have we met yet?
I suppose not technically, but I've HEARD a lot about you.
*holds out hand*
My name is Doctor Precocious. A pleasure.
*nods* cactuses are very... camouflaging....
*takes hand* snow.
*reaches into her bag and pulls out a retractable crutch*
*props it under her arm and flings the stick away*
oh, and i hope what you've heard was good...?
((Brb))
((Brb))
(( you will BRB twice?? :D))
Snow. I like the name.
*glances back at Adra*
You get injured a lot, I take it?
(Yes, she will leave, then return, then leave, and return again, of course.)
I've heard . . . mixed things.
i like the name too, thats why i picked it. *shrugs* so how goes life?
Ms. Stormberg, perhaps she simply means that she shall return post-haste.
((Hoors))
I'm a doctor, actually. It's my job to always be prepared
*smiles* mixed things? oh, prey tell some of the bad. it's always good to know what people are saying about you (MSD)
It's life. How else could it go but miserably? It is the way of it, after all.
Oh, I wouldn't wish to spread tales.
*smiles sadly*
I am too tired for that, I'm afraid.
*shrugs* life sucks, it's true.
and, too bad
*Ravel and I COME BY EVERYONE ELSE*
*I SEE ZAF AND RAVEL* hi
*sits by the edge of the fire pit*
*stares into the flames*
(I'd rather not put Precocious in a situation where she has to RP with your Ravel, as she already has a plotline involving him.)
*sips her tea, feeling her leg begin to stiffen a bit* Urgh...
*whips head around so fast she criks her neck*
You've got tea?
...
My, that reminds me of a scene I once saw in some cinematic theater...
*rubs her neck disgruntledly*
Oh, bother. I'll make my own tea.
*sets her van*
*in the form of a black, symbol-covered kettle*
*on the fire pit*
*intently watches it as it boils*
*determined to disprove the old idiom*
Hy Snow!
Ravel: Hello Snow
I always have tea.
Hot tea
Always
Yum
Anyone want some?
*holds up hand*
Shhh, you'll scare my kettle.
I-
...
no
Ravel: I'll have tea if you don't mind
*stays quiet*
*the kettle is simmering*
*glances up at Adra*
Hm?
*the kettle begins to boil*
*looks back at kettle*
Oh, damn and blast.
*sighs*
*takes it off the fire*
*and prepares some french vanilla tea*
*sets out a tray, doing her best to stretch her leg*
H,,.
Sir! *hobbles towards him* Hi!
...
*sigh*
Ms. Dark, did you involve your person in a conflict that led to your injury, once more?
*sips her tea*
Ah, there's nothing quite like tea you make yourself.
*looks up*
Oh, is Sir about?
Hullo, Sir! Splendid to see you! Tea?
Ravel: injury?
Don't ask.
Ravel: I don't
Good
*we both give ourseleves tea*
No thank you, my good Doctor.
*inclines his head to the other persons present*
Greetings, Ms. Kerias, Mr. Ravel.
It wasn't my fault! My horse ran me over!
*frowns* Come to think, he hasn't returned yet...
Hey Sir
Ravel: Hello Sir
Alright then.
*finishes her tea*
*sitting in front of the fire*
*long shadow behind her*
*and not really saying much*
*scrutinizes Ms. Dark's face, and shrugs after a short while*
Very well.
*Scrutinizes back*
(Are you two having a scrutiny contest?)
*his face is blank, as normal*
Well, then.
Ravel: *walks with Zaf* Zaf do you still agree with me?
I do.
Ravel: *smiles* I miss you always. *pulls closer*
*smiles and feels safe*
Ravel: love you
Me: love you too
((Zaffy go sleep she tired Tech Week is loooong))
I still don't understand how you became a human, actually...
Did you explain this?
You may have
You might have not.
Hmm.
((Night Zaf))
*is listening quietly*
*uncomfortably aware of her wallet pressing into her leg*
*and the monster hunting ID badge inside*
(Goodnight, Zafira.)
Well, Ms. Dark, it either involves a long-dead race of advanced partly biological, partly mechanical beings, an ancient curse, which is coincidentally the last hope of a a far-away race, pure willpower from an undetermined source reforming my shape, my form being purposefully changed by my old self from the shame of the past memories it brought, or about a billion other possibilities.
To be entirely frank, even I have stopped wondering.
*watching the fire*
*watching the smoke*
*playing with something in her pocket*
*and wondering if Sir ever actually made any sense, or if he was just really good at sounding like he's certain about things*
Oh...
No offense, but I made sense of only about half of those words.
It is perfectly fine, Ms. Dark. In the approximately 20 percent chance that I am, in fact, entirely mad, all of these words make entirely no sense to me, and thus I am only speaking what is only gibberish to myself, but in a freak cosmic chance, you understand almost entirely perfectly.
That's, er... Odd?
*nods*
*makes sense*
*stands up*
*paces around the fire*
*picks up the kettle*
*taps a symbol*
*it turns into a black yo-yo*
*she begins to play with it absently while pacing around the fire*
Hardly, Ms. Dark. One-in-a-million chances work out nine times out of ten. It is the unlikely chances that you must keep an eye out for.
....So it seems, then. *Shifts to her other leg, her wounded one feeling more stiff
(I may have to go soon, I'm not certain . . .)
*bounces the yo-yo*
*up*
*and down*
*up*
*and down*
*does an intensely majestic yo-yo trick*
*and tosses it aside*
*plunked herself down beside the fire*
*and thinking*
((Alright, Anni *huggles))
*glances at Anni, but decides to not want to interrupt her thoughts*
Very well, Ms. Barnosky.
I could be entirely wrong, Ms. Dark, you should hardly take everything I say for fact.
No, but I do take everything said into consideration.
*cell phone rings in her pocket*
*flips it open*
Hello?
???: Are you busy?
*glances wistfully at Adra and Sir*
No, I suppose not.
Naturally, Ms. Dark.
*glances at the good Doctor, but says nothing*
*glances at Precocious as well*
...
Do you fancy her?
???: So . . . Do you want to go out for ice cream, or something?
I'm a grown woman. I don't need you to buy me ice cream.
???: But I feel neglected . . .
. . . I'm sorry. I still can't . . . you know . . .
???: No, no, you don't have to explain yourself.
. . .
???: . . .
. . .
*whispers* I'm sorry I don't remember you. I'm sorry. I really am. But if you are who you say you are, you know more about my past than anyone, except maybe your brother. Please, PLEASE tell me.
???: . . . I can't.
I must have loved you both! I named myself after you two!
???: I . . . I have to go. I hope you're sleeping well.
Doctor, Doctor don't hang-
???: *hangs up*
*flips phone shut*
*tucks it in her coat*
*angrily kicks the snow*
((OHMIGOD))
(You alright there, Adra?)
((That hurt))
(*looks pained*
I'm sorry, I didn't intend it to hurt.)
Not at all, Ms. Dark.
Honestly, the very idea.
My good Doctor, are you entirely well?
(whoops. i poofed)
*is sitting in the tree agan*
*holds her hands up* Hey, it takes all kinds...
Whatever that means
I don't know what I just said
I wonder if I should take offense at that, Sir.
I won't, though. I know you didn't mean it in a bad way.
And honestly, in all the time that you've known me, however little it may be, have you ever known me to be entirely well?
Oh hun-
When have any of us ever been well?
Amen, Adrasdos, amen to that.
Certainly...
And quite, Ms. Dark.
*in the tree*
*after running away earlier*
*away with her thoughts*
( i stole your style anni)
(*raises eyebrow*
Did you really?
I don't see it.
Have you hidden it somewhere?
. . .
BEHIND THE CACTUS, PERCHANCE?)
*finishes her tea* Well... I should retire soon. I have to let this bloody leg heal before I go out looking for my horse..
( YES I DID )
*sighs quietly, hopping no one notices her*
That's understandable.
*nods vaguely*
I hope you find your pony. Horse, I mean, sorry. Horse.
*calls back* well they have it, don't they? *shrugs*
Sorry...
*stops* I'm so sorry...
*she disappears into her lab, shutting the door, and feeling the familiar tug at her heart as she stares back at it, oh so tempted to walk back out*
*frowns after Ms. Dark, but remains silent*
*watches her go*
*and bites her lip*
*but doesn't say a word*
That woman needs to stop getting injured.
I agree. But at least she can repair herself. For the most part.
*warms her hands by the fire*
*she carefully goes to check on the animals, noting their blissful sleep*
*she hobbles to her kitchen counter, and roots through a cabinet until she finds the correct medicine, taking twice the dosage of what she probably needs*
*she doesn't even make it to her room, collapsing in the middle of the hallway, against the wall*
... Things fall apart, I suppose.
*notices adra leave*
*remains quiet, still in tree*
*bitterly* Everything falls apart. Everything burns, everything ends.
Except magic.
Damnable magic.
My good Doctor, magic is no exception. Believe me.
Then there's hope for the world and for me.
*fire flickering and spitting smoke into the sky*
*a long, black, top-hatted shadow stretching behind her*
Hope. I haven't thought about THAT in a while.
*shrugs, contentedly watching the smoke rise*
*mutters* conversations taken a turn down the dark path...
*watches the smoke*
*thinks*
*looks sidelong at Sir*
*wonders what he thinks about*
*decides she'd probably be better off not knowing*
*returns to watching the smoke rise*
(( lol, i juts worked out something everyone else is puzzling over and now people are calling me god... i worked out how to use a program :-/ a really easy program... people in my class are stupid))
(( btw, you can feel free to notice snow.))
A
A
lol
(( WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO ))
(( just call me the sacrificial lamb))
*watches the smoke curl away*
I should probably . . . leave.
*sighs heavily*
*begins to walk away*
*in the snow*
*and the darkness*
*turns around*
May I ask a question?
(( i dedicate this page to the simple things in life. because it's often the simple things that remind you what you're living for. *hugs all*))
*starts slightly*
Erm, yes. Of course.
Am I allowed to serve pineapple upside-down cake right side up? Or is that not in the spirit of things . . .
Because it is technically still the same cake.
... Certainly, my good Doctor.
((Stop being entertaining
FFS I'm trying to sleep here))
Thank you. That's a load off my mind.
*walks off into the darkness*
(( lol ))
...
*mutters*
Now, what the devil is a pineapple upside-down cake...
*disappears*
(laptop battery is about dead, bye!)
(Oh, Sir, I laughed at that and woke someone up. For shame.
Anyhow, I must be going to bed too.
Ciao.)
((JESUS wept
Fuck
You
All
I NEED TO SLEEP QUIT BEING SO FUN D:))
Good bye, Ms. Barnosky and Ms. Stormberg.
((I msd. I NEED to msd. I MUST msd))
Very well. Good night, Ms. Dark, and sleep well.
Hello...?
#ChaseForBook9
okay, quick, what rhymes with swayed?
Played.
Made.
Jade.
#ChaseForBook9
Segued
Marmalade
Paid
Lemonade
#ChaseForBook9
Fade...
Raid...
Maid...
Homemade...
#ChaseForBook9
okay okay! enough XD
Fine. [Stops] :-P
#ChaseForBook9
gah... now i need a word that rhymes with reaps... *looks a rhyming dictionary* NO HELP!
Heaps
Jeeps
Little Bo Peeps
Creeps
Sleeps
Army jeeps
Blinding leaps
#ChaseForBook9
*Flying leaps
Autocorrect is weird.
#ChaseForBook9
that it is...
one sec, i'll post what i've got and then you might be able to think of something
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