But these last few signings have been interesting. I've met quite a few people who have made me stop and think about my role and my responsibilities an an author. This isn't something I wanted. I didn't write these books to be famous or to be listened to— I wrote them to write them. That's it. By my reckoning, I shouldn't have any responsibilities towards any of you. I just write books that you happen to read. Why should I care about you beyond you reading my work and giving me your money?
But of course, I do care. Quite by accident, I assure you. This was not planned. I've met a few of you, I know a few of you, and I've heard from even more of you. I read your comments and your tweets and your letters. Some of you have stories to tell, and I end up listening.
These past few months, since The Maleficent Seven has been released, I've met a lot of new people. I met a girl who thanked me for mentioning the fact that Tanith once had a thing with Aurora Jane— and she thanked me again for not making a big deal out of it. I met a girl with selective mutism who, by the end of our encounter, was chatting away and grilling me about plot details. Then I met a girl who thanked me for Clarabelle.
I smiled and told her how much I loved writing that character. The girl nodded, smiled, told me again how much she loved Clarabelle. Then she told me she had mental health issues, and sometimes she found it hard to separate what was real from what wasn't, and she loved Clarabelle because she saw in her a person who was different from others but who was loved, and accepted, and allowed to thrive.
And I looked at this girl and I didn't know what to say. I came up with Clarabelle because I needed a certain kind of warmth and a certain kind of quirkiness. Never in a million years did I think that someone out there would relate to her.
These three girls have all sorts of pressures on them that I can't understand, and all three of them have a handle on it. The Clarabelle fan was getting the help and support she needs. The girl who couldn't speak was speaking, and she even fist-bumped me on her way out. And the Tanith fan was as strong and confident as anyone I'd ever seen. And as each one of these girls walked off, I realised that they were my readers. These girls, and boys and girls and men and women like them all around the world, are my readers, and if I can do anything to help them in any way, even if it's just to raise a smile when they're feeling low, then I have managed to do something that I never thought I'd be capable of. I'd be able to help them.
We all have problems. We all have issues. We all have pressures. If you don't seek the right kind of help, if you don't know where to look or you don't have the friends and family to support you, things can go wrong. But there is help out there. There are people, unlike me, who know what they're talking about. Every country will have its own helplines and websites, sites like SpunOut.ie here in Ireland. Search for them. Find them. And for god's sake use them.
I am now going back to being selfish and egotistical, and absolutely sure that Holly Smale fancies me.
4,972 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2601 – 2800 of 4972 Newer› Newest»*smiles* Oh good.
#ChaseForBook9
*laughs lightly*
We don't have capes (except for Trip and Dau), but we'll do anything to save a life.
*shoves Skittles packet into Death's hands*
In case you're a bit hungry or, you know, you want a rainbow inside you. Or you feel like sugar.
#ChaseForBook9
You might wanna make a note of this, I get pissed and swear a lot when I'm sad... Sorry for my last comment...
And we'll always save you. Every single time. Cause we all love you. And you are amazing!
#ChaseForBook9
It's quarter to 11!! I should be sleeping!!!
*Looks at Rhy* You are responsible for saving my life.
I'm none of them Rhy!!! I'm a jerk!!
Your last comment was fine.
And I don't mind you getting pissed or swearing.
#ChaseForBook9
*realises still has cape, laughs through tears* Oh yeah!
#ChaseForBook9
...
That was incredibly selfish, you two.
Have you any idea what you two would have done to the rest of us?
Death, you constantly go on about how worthless you are but tbh, you're just so fucking amazing. So don't even try to tell me you're not. Because I shall not listen to you.
Rhydian, ffs, I'm sorry of all the shit you've had.
We all have shit.
Shit sucks.
But at the same time, we all have our issues, and our own problems are just as important to us as yours as to them. So don't say that you've got it worse than Death, because we've all got it pretty bad, in our own way.
*for everyone*
Guys, I love you all with all of my heart, and soul. And if any of you fucking died I would slap the shit out of you. We're still young. Life sucks when we're teenagers. But how can you say that things aren't going to get better if you were to end it? Like that would do any good! There's always new opportunities in life and we will have chances to make names for ourselves. But we have to keep in mind the good parts of life.
I have never been in you guys' position.
But I as well know what it feels like.
So you're not alone
And I'll be damned if I let something happen to you all.
*hugs everyone*
Sorry i disspeared. I was doing something important. death, check my new blog. believe me. just do it.]
#CFB9
Death...no matter how many times you say you're nothing, we won't believe you. Because it's not true. You are amazing and brilliant. Dint you dare forget that
#ChaseForBook9
End of.
Okay, the next few sentences... Please skip.
You're all so damn jerks!!! I hate you all!! Why?! Why?! I'm so angry/pissed/sad right now!!!!!! ROAR!!!!
Seconded!
Adra, that's exactly what I wanted to say!
#ChaseForBook9
Check the blog deathy. go check the bloggg! youll want to. and you shall.
#CFB9
*breathes out* Well. That was some way to wake up.
*hugs Adra*
That was perfect.
*hugs Death*
You're even more perfect when you're angry.
YOU'RE ALWAYS PERFECT. THERE'S NO ESCAPING ITTTTTTTT *grins*
#ChaseForBook9
YOU KNOW WHAT!?
EVERYONE! go check out my new blog and go say something noce on there RIGHT NOW! not to me, no that doesnt matter. just go check out the fucking blog.
#CFB9
*Looks at blog and has heart attack* Since when is there another Death Rose?! Who stole my name?!
@Adra: I could only imagine...
@Cain: YOU ARE WRONG!!
Just looked at it Eld. AND IT'S AMAZING! !!!!
#ChaseForBook9
Eld, thanks for the thought but, as I've been saying a lot recently, you're wrong.
*tacklehugs Death to the ground*
nOPE. This is the one time I'm actually RIGHT!!
And hush. You're the only Death Rose here, so who else would it beeee?
Yes, Adra, that definitely would've been...
#ChaseForBook9
I've left a comment. Death look.
#ChaseForBook9
HOW ABOUT THIS
We all come to a mutual understanding that we are perfect, and our flaws are what make us so. (Although in themselves they aren't even flaws)
WE understand that we live on a shitty planet.
We also understand that not everything on this planet is shitty.
We don't all go kill ourselves or do anything stupid while we're all young because we have people we care about. And that no matter how much it hurts now, you can overcome it.
Because in a few years we're all going to be legal adults, right?
And probably, if you wanted, you could just leave everyone behind and start again.
Which some of you sound like you ought to do.
And then we all go live in one big SP community.
Got it?
Good.
Also, when someone gives you a compliment about how great you really are, take their word for it. Because it's probably fucking true.
*nods*
there isnt one deathy. and this is for you. so check it. check it whenever you feel down. check the blog deathy. and when you do. youll feel better. youll feel happy ^_^ hopefully. and if you feel down, or worse then down. comment there. and we will help! cause thats why its there. its there to help. thats right. a whole blog. DEDICATED TO YOU!
#cFB9
... I don't really know where I was going with that.
I saw Rhy... I don't think I'm allowed to reply with 'LIAAAAAAAAAAR!!!'...
DEATHY! *gasp*
Im not wrong. im never wrong. so yeah. merr! :p just, just check it whenever ok? because, because we love you. and i dont want you to forget.
#Cfb9
I'm going to move out as soon as I can and leave the country. I'm hoping Ireland or America. I'll wind up there maybe and blog about it... Someone can visit me of they want...
@Adra: Even though you don't know where that went, it still made sense *nods*
It's good.
ANYONE REMEMBER WHAT LAV SAID ABOUT THE WHOLE BIG SP COMMUNITY DEAL THINGY?
Or instead we could just make Skuttlebuggia real.... :3
That'd be fun :D
#ChaseForBook9
No Death. I wasn't lying. And I think you are wrong. You ARE incredible. You ARE amazing. You are our Death Rose. We love you Death!
#ChaseForBook9
Okay Eld... I really, truly don't deserve something like that though...
Actually, Luce and I have been planning something... A few warehouses around the world... For SPers. :P
DEATH YOU CAN COME LIVE OVER HERE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA WITH ME AND ELD :D
If you want.
But Ireland is really cool. *nods*
So is America. *nods again*
#ChaseForBook9
All of you are jerks...
I still love you though...
I'm going to sleep... Night...
*hugs Death*
G'night gorgeous. <3
#ChaseForBook9
Night Death! Hope you feel better in the morning! *hugs *
#ChaseForBook9
I'll post on here when I wake up... Just so you kno in still... Here...
*nods* we may be jerks, but we are beautiful jerks that love you.
#CFB9
*waves* Sleep well, dear
NIGTH DEATHY *HUGS*
#cfb9
NIGTH DEATHY *HUGS*
#cfb9
*sighs*
Yep.
I need some orange juice or something to wake me up
Gtg now. LOVE YOU ALL! BYE!!!!!@
#ChaseForBook9
*hugs* Bye Rhydian!
*hugs*
Bye Rhy!!
Brb!
#ChaseForBook9
*Nods*
Mass exodus, much?
*sighs and goes to Trips bar and looks for some orange juice*
Pst lets spam the love deathy page with comments so that if she checks it we can show her our love<3
#CFB9
I'm back. Here. *passes orange juice*
#ChaseForBook9
*takes it* Thanks... *fishes an apple out of her pocket* Happy breakfast to me.
*laughs*
#ChaseForBook9
*Adra spots Drew coming out of the Blogland forest*
*shrugs* I guess I've lived through worse mornings... But whatever.
*checks her watch*
lahdaaddadada:]
#CFB9
lahdaaddadada:]
#CFB9
*waves* Morning
*Drew nods*
Morning Ads. Hope you don't mind but I just pottered around last night. My wolf was getting agitated.
*stands up, holds out hand for Drew to shake* Hello, you must be Drew.
#ChaseForBook9
Good to know that Lassie came back home. *hands him a bowl of food that says "FIDO" on the side*
Eat up!
i should probably go... dont forget to leave Death awesome messages on the blog guys!Laterz everyone!
#CFB9
Talk: Of course, Eld! *hugs*
*shakes Trip's hand*
That I am. Good to meet you.
And seriously Adra, was there any need for that??
*looks up from her straw* That was for that innuendo yesterday, so yes. There was.
Deal with it.
Would you like a drink? We have everything here!
#ChaseForBook9
*smirks*
Okay, okay fair play.
So what's the plan today guys?
Ah no I won't Trip.
Alcohol and my wolf aren't exactly best friends. I haven't drank since the '40s.
We have everything my furry friend, not just alcohol.
#ChaseForBook9
*laughs*
You tell yourself that.
As for the plan? First, which do you prefer- killing Deacon, or forcing him to let go of Emerald?
Furry friend?? Seriously?...
OH, lighten up, Drew.
*rolls eyes*
You've been in that damned city for far too long
*grins at Adra* I can tell we're going to have fun with him!
#ChaseForBook9
Yeah, actually. I've played pranks on him his whole life... *laughs*
Yeah I guess so.
Well see the thing is, as much as I would love to bury Deacon in the ground. He is still my brother.
We have to make him. That's the only option.
How bad is Emerald?
*finishes her juice*
Maybe you should go see for yourself?
SORRY FOR POOFING my sisters made me race them in Mario Kart.
Hullo Drew!
*hesitates*
Is that wise??
I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable especially if she's healing.
Are you kidding me?
I LIVE to make Emerald uncomfortable.
It's my job.
*cuts in* I'm sure it'd be fine. She'd probably enjoy seeing you after all the stuff Deacon said.
#ChaseForBook9
*nods* What he said.
Why, what did Deacon say to her??
Ah, well... Maybe you ought to just see for yourself.
Uh... yeah sure.
Lead the way.
How about we drive this time? *gestures to one of her many stolen cars*
Which one?
*shakes head* You know for an elder, you've got a pretty bad criminal record.
#ChaseForBook9
*laughs*
I call shotgun on whatever you pick.
I didn't realise that the medical bay was that far away?
*bows* It's only necessary. I think the world would rather us steal a car than have everyone die, don't you think?
OH no, it's only a few miles, but we can't waste our time.
Besides, you were about to die after your run from Dublin yesterday so...
*gets into car*
#ChaseForBook9
*sits in the back*
Let's go then.
*starts the car and pulls out*
So.
How do you plan on actually catching your brother?
Oh catching him won't be the problem. Once he senses that I'm here, he'll come running.
Oh good...
#ChaseForBook9
What, for you?
You never leave Dublin...
He'd have to know that you're working with us.
Helloooo :)
I have a spoonful of peanut butter, a glass of milk, and scrubs on repeat.
I guess it's just on of those days... :P
#chaseforbook9
Talk: Sup, Flora! *hugs*
He wouldn't give a shit.
After what happened with Nigel, he left the city and never had a 2nd chance at me.
So now I'm away from the city smells and life. He will be panting at the chance for round 2
So he's probably already on our trail?
Heya :)
roleplay?
#chaseforbook9
Talk: Ofc, what else? :D
Talking: Yep!
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: I really wish that I could hate all of you... I really wish that I had it in me... *sulks, fuming, in the corner*
#ChaseForBook9
Haha! Silly question really! :P
So what's been happening?
#chaseforbook9
Talk: Um... We're trying to save Em from being "possessed" of a sort, by Deacon. And Drew is helping us out?
Hard to explain...
Why, Ari???
RP: *pulls into the hospital*
Right. Everyone out!
Talking: I don't know. I think he's just going to see Em.
#ChaseForBook9
*gets out*
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: I think Drew's internet derped again...
Talking: Yeah.
#ChaseForBook9
Ohh, okie dokie, I get it :)
#chaseforbook9
Talking: I'm going to have a long rant now and it's probably going to depress/anger everyone, but I'm too tired and frustrated and desperate and sad and angry to care right now. I'll regret it later, I know.
When somebody comes on here and says they're ready to end their life, you DO NOT waste your breath trying to tell them you have it worse! First off because IT DOESN'T FREAKING MATTER WHO'S BEEN SUFFERING FOR THE LONGEST, and second because if somebody is ready to end their own life right then and there, and you're not, at least in the moment, THEY ARE IN MORE PAIN THAN YOU. And it is totally useless, so spectacularly pointless, to give a whole speech about how much worse your life is than everybody else's. And you know what that does to her? It doesn't make her think, 'oh, ok, I feel better now' IT MAKES HER FEEL MORE GUILTY AND USELESS. And when somebody is feeling like that and they disappear you NEVER EVER just say that you've run out of words and you can't deal with it anymore. SELL YOUR FREAKING SOUL IF YOU HAVE TO, YOU DO NOT JUST LET PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT GO.
Ok, I'm going to go cry in a corner now. Probably distant.
#ChaseForBook9
*sits next to Aretha, putting her hand on her shoulder* Sh... It's okay to cry. But at least we did it, right? We stopped her. It might not seem like much, and chances are she might feel bad another day... but at least it's one more day with her alive and good. Hold on to that thought, Aretha.
Talking: Ok I thought I was done but I guess I'm not. I have three friends who either are or have been suicidal. Three. And all of them are the closest friends that I have. In fact, they're so far beyond friends it's not even funny. And I have lost so much sleep over the past two years and almost fell into a bit of depression myself for a while, and I have spent all the words that I have and more trying to beg these people to stop and think, and in two years nothing I've said or done has ever been close to enough, and sometimes I just get so exhausted and I just can't anymore but then I pick myself up and I find more words and I sell more of my soul and just keep trying, because anything is worth having them around for one day longer, and I would be nothing without them anyway. And I don't want to do the 'my pile of pain is bigger than yours' because I have a great life and the most amazing friends ever and nothing to complain about except the fact that they hate themselves. I am not trying to make myself sound like some sort of martyr or say I'm in more pain than you or that I'm better than you. But please, I'm begging all of you, when someone is that low, not to tell them you're to tired to give them a reason. Because, by God, even if they need a reason every day for the rest of their lives, it's worth it.
#ChaseForBook9
*nods, rubbing her back* Preach it, Ari.
*scuffs feet and looks at ground*
#ChaseForBook9
*glances at Trip, then back at Aretha*
*hugs her tightly*
So that's it, then
All there is
You've moved on without me
You no longer suffer as I do,
It is so clear
What can I do?
And yet I will reach you somehow
With my mind, all I have
I will invade your dreams
I will not ask if it is right
I do not care
You must see me, time is running out
No, I cannot touch you,
But I will reach beyond dimension,
Beyond realm, beyond memory
To touch you in some small way
And tell you, beg you, to stop
Stop
And think
What you are doing,
Is it what you want?
Is it what you think
You are supposed to want?
Is it the only comfort you have ever known
And you feel safe?
Well, you were right to want this,
And I am wrong to want to stop you,
But you need not make this move
What, who says you must?
If you love, if she loves,
Why ask the world to take notice?
Just let it be and go on loving
Out of choice, not duty
Am I so blind?
What do I not see
When I look at her
That you do?
Why do you not know
That everything you have ever wished for
Everything you were afraid to say out loud
Everything you hate and desire
And will never understand
Lies in one who could never be brave enough to tell you?
Can you but open your eyes
For one single, shining moment
And see yourself in the light that I do?
Can you not see that you are the answer to all my fears
And I could feel safe with you
And yes, I have my daggers and scars
And everything that would keep you back
But if you make this move,
You close a door that can never be re-opened
And I can tell you that a life
Lived in waiting for what never comes
Is far better than a life
Content in the knowledge of what is certain never to be
Can you not wait?
Can you not be brave and see beyond this moment
Beyond this sense of comfort you feel
See your life open before you
Trusting in things to come
Believing they will be worth the wait
And thrilling in the thought that you have no idea what the next dream will bring you
Now I am here with you
See my eyes as you have so many times before
See the way I look at you
See what you have always felt,
But never dared to show
Believe in your power to get the thing you dream of,
Even when it is the very thing you fear
The very thing no other man can hope to attain
Look into your heart and see written there
The name of her you love
Who is it that fascinates you?
Who is it that knows you better
Than you yourself?
Who is it that will be waiting
When it all ends
At the end of the road
With a smirk, and a sarcastic comment,
And a kiss on the neck
Don't leave me
A Plea to the Dying, by Emilie Autumn
#ChaseForBook9
That singer of yours, I've heard a few of her songs. They are rather hauntingly beautiful.
Talking: Alright, I'm done, I can't cry anymore. This is the part where I pick myself up and come up with more words and reasons. I'll be back in a few.
#ChaseForBook9
*raises eyebrows* Wow. Okay?
*pokes Trip* You still alive?
Yep, still here.
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Ah... Trip? Are you ok?
#ChaseForBook9
Yeah... What she said
Talking: Oh, ok. I'm still not here for a bit, just wanted to make sure you were ok.
#ChaseForBook9
I'm fine thanks.
#ChaseForBook9
Just... waiting for Drew to get out of the car.
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: I'm here, sorry. Having family issues and that. Anyway let's continue.
*follows Trip and Adra out of the car.*
Talk: Oh, Aretha. Did you see the request that I made for you somewhere in the comments on A Nameless? I was hoping you did...
RP: *points to the door* Right this way, if you please
*walks behind Trip and Adra into the medical centre*
Talk; Yo, Trip. Ye can come back now.
RP: *leads the way down the hallway, checking in and going up the elevator to Em's floor*
Talking: I'm still here.
#ChaseForBook9
*follows*
So is everyone here a mage?
Do they know of the situation or have they been more preoccupied??
Talking: Adra, would you like it written the same way I did Names, just in a different second, or would you like it to be a little more coherent?
#ChaseForBook9
Um, I think it's like a dream. Certain elements of reality are just sort f, left out.
#ChaseForBook9
That's blogland for ya!
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: Um... Coherent, I guess??? *huggles* I did the request you wanted, btw.
RP: Actually, I think this is a mortal hospital
Talking: Hello?
#ChaseForBook9
whoa... that's weird.
Yeah.
#ChaseForBook9
So why is she in a mortal hospital anyway?
Isn't that a bit risky with the Deacon threat??
It really is, but hey!
#ChaseForBook9
Sorry, it was the closest one we could get to, and she was about out of time. We've had guards stationed with her, so
Oh okay,
learn from mistakes and all that.
God this place is huge!
Yeah... *open's Em's door* Ready?
*takes a breath*
Let's go.
*enters the room, and sees Em* Sup, hoor. Brought someone to see you!
*comes in last, closes door behind self. Stands in corner*
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Ok, this is the part where I apologize for so brusquely interrupting you (though I do not apologize for the things I said) and thank you all for making my sister live another day. Thank you, really. *hugs everyone*
Now, off to update The Current Moment again...
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: It's okay Ari, nothing was going on anyway.
#ChaseForBook9
*sits up in the bed*
*sees Drew behind Adra*
Oh my god, Drew?!
Um... I'm not up for visitors Adra, please.
Em, he can help.
Talking: I'm going to be gone for about fifteen minutes, so just count Trip as in the shadows in the corner. Em didn't see him come in so that's fine.
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: okay!!!
Talk: Silence in the blog...
Talking: I might have to go soon, but yeah... I just really want to be here to hear Death comment again, or I'll be in panic mode for all of tutoring.
#ChaseForBook9
I don't have your number, but I could email you when she does,..
Talking: Thanks- I still won't be able to get it until afterwards, though. But thank you.
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: okay! No problem.
*gestures to above comments* And that is why I fell in love with her. Apologies, I simply had to say it.
#ChaseForBook9
Hello people! How are you all?
#ChaseForBook9
*laughs*
Oh my lord...
I have a question for you, Niccolo... Out of all the true names that you do have, how many of them are like Alastair? Evil? Unless I have something wrong...
Talking: Hello! Back! I'm good thank you Rhydian!
#ChaseForBook9
@Trip: I'm River. Not Rhydian.
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: Sup Rhyd, Trip.
Talk: *River
Talking: Sorry, River.
#ChaseForBook9
It's fine. Me and Rhydian are kinda the same person. Easy mistake to make
#ChaseForBook9
Helloooooo?
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Sorry... just yeah.
*Looks away*
I really don't think he should be here Adra. I just can't...
*looks down at her black skin*
Hello Luce!
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: sup, Luce!
Em? What's going on?
#ChaseForBook9
*glares at Em* good grief, woman. Get over yourself. We're here to help you, so you better take it
*Frowns in corner, being a stealthy ninja*
#ChaseForBook9
What's wrong with Em?
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: AGAIN
anamelessattempttoestablishsomeorder.blogspot.com/
*sits down at the foot of the bed*
He's not nice when he's in your head is he?
It's like a constant little doubt always there.
*glances at the black infected skin*
But what he's doing to you now, is not right. This time he's gone too far and we need to get him to let you go and leave Blogland.
But I can't do that until you help us first.
Right Adra??
What's happening to Em?
#ChaseForBook9
*nods* of course.
Wbd - writing Imperfect. :3
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Follow the link Adra gave you.
#ChaseForBook9
Talks:
I ded to teamwork because everyone works together for everyone else and this Blogland would be nothing without everyone working together and being there for one another.
River: anamelessattempttoestablishsomeorder.blogspot.com/
*goes to touch the wounded and black skin to get a better look*
*continues to stand in corner*
#ChaseForBook9
I now have a rough idea of what's going on.
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Just stuff at home with myself Rhyds, it's okay. But I'm roleplaying as well.
*flinches away before Drew touches her and growls*
Get out! All of you! Just get out!
*holds Em's arm down* don't fight us. I'm not above knocking you out
It's River, Em. You might not have met me yet. It's complicated.
#ChaseForBook9
*coats self in energy, rendering self practically invisible in the shadows*
#ChaseForBook9
*puts an arm on Adra's shoulder*
Let's just go.
She's still healing. No point stressing her out, the anger and emotions might trigger the shadows.
*glances at Drew, then at Em again* *shakes her head* Idiot.
*glances at where Trip was*
*adrenaline courses through body, fearing Em will notice*
#ChaseForBook9
Gtg soon. Need to get back to November. There's kinda a huge battle going on. Few more minutes. Wanna stay here for as long as I can
#ChaseForBook9
*glances at Em*
We're sorry for disturbing you. You get your rest.
*Walks out with Adra and Trip, closing the door behind him*
... A big battle, huh?
*Abdabdabdadab! Trip stays hiding in the shadows.*
#ChaseForBook9
Yeah. Something happened and now it's led up to a war like battle. Few people have died already. Don't want anymore people to lose their lives.
#ChaseForBook9
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