Friday, April 26, 2013

The Synopsis

135,499 words and counting.

My editor has been asking me for a synopsis for ages now. They need it so that they can send it to sites like Amazon, so they can put it up to inform people what it is they'll be buying. I took a few minutes today to write it, and before I go to bed tonight, I figured my Minions deserved to see it first.


Last Stand of Dead Men:

War has finally come.

But it's not a war between good and evil, or light and dark- it's a war between Sanctuaries. For too long now, the Irish Sanctuary has teetered on the brink of world-ending disaster, and the other Sanctuaries around the world have had enough. Allies turn to enemies, friends turn to foes, and Skulduggery and Valkyrie must team up with the rest of the Dead Men if they're going to have any chance at all of maintaining the balance of power and getting to the root of a vast conspiracy that has been years in the making.

But while this war is only beginning, another war rages within Valkyrie herself. Her own dark side, the insanely powerful being known as Darquesse, is on the verge of rising to the surface. And if Valkyrie slips, even for a moment, then Darquesse will burn the world and everyone in it.

4,918 comments:

  1. DEREK MY BIRTHDAY'S MONDAY, BY THE WAY. JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW.

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  2. OH MY GOD I JUST ACTUALLY READ THE POST


    DEREK I'M SCARED


    WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO VALKYRIE


    I TAKE THIS PERSONALLY EVEN THOUGH I SHOULDN'T


    (In other words, I am now so excited I'm almost shaking. THANKS A LOT, DEREK.)

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  3. Oh, and thanks Thrust!



    Sorry, still spazzing.


    DEREK YOU ARE SO MEAN. *curls up in corner and dies*

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  4. I just read this to my mom. She looked scared.

    But THEN she said, "You know, what if Valkyrie's in some life threatening situation in the first chapter? And the chapter ends with her blowing up the planet? What if the rest of the pages are just a bunch of connect the dots or something?"


    THANKS DEREK, YOU'VE TURNED HER ON ME.

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  5. The worst part is that you WOULD put some connect the dots or something in there. Or maybe some colouring pages.

    Like, "Fill in the blood stains from Darquesse's world-wide massacre!" or "Colour the burning city!"

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  6. I'm still sad about Finbar... He had such a silly wife.

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  7. https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-8hCLcb8vzQ4/UXnpbH7YjRI/AAAAAAAAAQc/sgpd4RyzE0M/w422-h313/2013-04-25

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  8. You obviously have no clue how to read between the lines.

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  9. omg this sounds so fricken amazing i cant wait for the book

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  10. i really hope that she chooses what magic discipline she wants to use in this book

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  11. Firstly, Derek. You NEED to hurry up and write LSODM before I have an some kind of brain explosion, caused by running through all the various scenarios in my head which could cause Darquesse to emerge and "kill the world".
    Secondly, WHAT THE HELL is up with killing Carol?!
    Thirdly, If you do what I.think you're going to.do and make Darquesse come out only.to have the reflection be the one to kill her, and have that insane psychopathic oddity be the hero, then I.will NOT be happy. *insert Valkyrie glare here*
    Fourthly, I think you should have a BIG reveal in which everyone like Ghastly and Ravel and, Hell, Fletcher too, find out who Val and Skulduggery REALLY are. Because, Let's face it, we all want yo see/read a BIG battle in which Her Evilness and His Evilness battle it out and throw each other into a building or something and everyone sees them fight, JUST because the LOOK on Ghastly and co's faces would be priceless.
    Fifthly, (and yes I know fifthly isn't a world but it goes with all the others) WHO THE HELL SAID FINBAR WAS DYING?! and WHAT is going on with Kenny Dunne and his whole Valkyrie Cain Exposé?! (That may have been 2 points but they were both small in comparison to the other points, but just as valid, so they're going to count as one)
    And by no means Last or Least but I'm getting finger cramp typing this on my phone, I have read ALL 8 books, in the space of a week, just because I'm a complete bookworm, and in true Cain and Pleasant style would like to issue you with a warning that if you DON'T start writing faster, that as much as your fans love you, we WILL be beating down your door... (Just for the 'Craic' of it) (you couldn't include a Irish to.English dictionary at the back of the next one could you, as Gaelic is an awesome language, but extraordinarily hard to pronounce, let alone understand.)

    Anyway, no doubt ill be going crazy while waiting for LSODM to make its appearance, so if I suddenly start clucking like a chicken, well Derek, I'll blame you for that...

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  12. This sounds awesome!
    I think that darquesse will be free by the end of this book

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  13. *Points to Val's comment*

    YOU JUST SAID ALL THE THINGS THAT I'VE BEEN THINKING.


    except for the chicken part......

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  14. Thank you. Big help you are.

    Oh and Derek- Zaf and I were theorizing our conversation the other day.... Was SULT with HER or with ME? Or... WITH BOTH OF US????

    Of Jesus H. Christ. Derek. Don't EVEN. -_- NOOOOOOOO

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  15. hmm ... my comment has appeared to have deleted itself ... I wonder if this one will too?

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  16. That's... Quite the synopsis. Eep.

    Derek, you are either my favorite author or the one I'm most scared of...possibly both.

    Hello, Blogland-y people if anyone is here!

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  17. It looks still there to me!

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  18. ok the one just before worked ...

    anyway I shall just repeat what got deleted


    DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!

    WOW! Just WOW!!!

    THAT SOUNDS SO AWESOME!!!!!!! *Jumps up and down with imposable energy*

    I
    CAN'T
    WAIT
    TO
    READ
    IT!!!!

    OH MY GOD!!!!!! *Has a massive fain girl moment*

    I CAN'T WAIT!!!!
    No literally I CAN'T!!!

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  19. Thanks! I've updated my blog post on it.

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  20. Hi ... can I call you Gazer?

    any way how are you?

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  21. Hello!

    I'm annoyed because my sister and I aren't one person. Other than that I'm good!

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  22. I'm good

    ... one person
    ... you reminder me of a TV show, very interesting, they wanted everyone in the world to be one being

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  23. Yeah... Everyone always say our names like they're one word, assumes we're twins and gives us both credit for what one of us does. It's really irritating. :-/

    Everybody as one being...that'd be creepy.

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  24. yes it succeed but only for a bit. and that would be annoying if everyone did that to me!

    ok I gtg bye!

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  25. Oh, bye Mistical!

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  26. [is SUPERMEGATACKLEHUGGEDOFDOOM]

    I finally got the chorus tune right! [celebrates]

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  27. Oh, dear... Apparently I'm not supposed to be recording myself sing at this hour. Blaaaaah. XD

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  28. [laughs]

    Thanks Jubi. Actually... I'm not sure if it's right right but it sounds better for my voice, anyway!

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  29. IN THE NAME OF THE GREAT GOLDEN GOD.
    *dies because awesomeness*

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  30. Gooooooood that you're gooooooood. [nods]

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  31. Hello, Missy. :-)

    Awesomeness indeed. [nods] Eep!

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  32. HI PEOPLE!
    *is supermegatacklehuggedofdoom*

    How are you all today?

    Brb, gonna get some Rice Bubbles!

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  33. Grrrrrr...... I've got to go.

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  34. Hello Alexandra. :-)

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  35. Oh... Bye, Alexandra.

    Wow... This song is...creepy!

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  36. Wbd, watching various YouTube videos and pretending to be asleep.

    Msd, might actually fall asleep.

    Oh, which version of my MC chapter to use...?! I'm doing a lot of things, I suppose. XD

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  37. BACK!
    Sorry I took so long... Got distracted by Instagram and stuff.

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  38. Missy, you have Instagram? I have one.

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  39. Night, Jubi. Or early morning now! How do you manage it? XD

    Wb, Missy. 'Sokay, I got distracted by YouTube, so... [shrugs]

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  40. Night Jubi!!

    Hi Val!!
    Yeah, Instagram is cool. *nods*

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  41. I think I am going to write really hard for a while, then sleep.

    Bye, all.

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  42. Oh wow, Derek! Reading that gave me chills!

    Really appreciate letting us minions get the first read of the synopsis, but what was that last post you wrote only yesterday? Oh yes.

    KEEP WRITING!!! Don't stop for anything! Except food of course. And sleep. And the synopsis can be an exception as well. Go Derek! *cheers him on*

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  43. Bye Fabi!

    LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAV!!!! *tacklehugs*

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  44. *wonders whether to stay or not*
    *decides to stay for a bit and gets tacklehugged*
    OOF! Hi Miss. :)

    Bye Fabi.

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  45. Right. Kinda quiet... *shrugs and talks to self*

    Everyone must be doing something else.

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  46. And I should be going anyway. Bye!

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  47. *stumbles back in*
    YouTube is distracting...

    Bye Lav! :(

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  48. Please Derek, tell me that you are NOT going to kill Valkyrie... Most people here will be VERY depressed...

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  49. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  50. DEREK

    DEREK

    DEREK

    DEREK

    DEREK

    DEREK

    DEREK

    DEREK

    DEREK

    DEREK

    DEREK


    I've thought of some good ideas to put in future books.
    First: You said that werewolves were nearly extinct. During my random story-creation/fanfic thing, I made a creature called the Apatonynchus. If you do read all the comments then you may have seen the kind of biography of the creature around. If not it's here:

    The name Apatonynchus means deceptive claw in Greek. It is about the size of a wolf, with short brown fur. It has a spiked tail (one spike either side of the tip of its tail), and has yellow eyes with black pupils. Its ears are set upon antennae, and are the shape of a lilly, and stick out diagonally from the top of its head. It has a frill around its neck like a triceratops, but is much smaller and contains no horns. The frill has been known to change colour depending on how the creature is feeling.
    Its eyesight is usable, but it tends to emit ultrasonic waves like bats do to navigate their way around. Its sense of smell is extraordinarily good, though.
    It makes only a small variety of noises (hisses - where its lower jaw vibrates, and roars).
    It isn't from this dimension (as in, a parallel world or something is where it originates from), though the first sighting of the creature was in the caves beneath Gordon's house.
    These creatures are immune to all magical powers/effects, so for example it could kill a faceless one without a God-Killer and kill a werewolf without silver. They can also walk on walls and ceilings.
    They have a forcefield around them, in the radius of about 30cm. It is created by accident, and from birth, due to the fact that there is a complex combination of magic happening when two of the species mate. It cannot control the forcefield.
    This is the reason I thought of why the werewolf numbers were so low, because the species Apatonynchus are sworn enemies of the werewolf and tend to hunt them down.

    Second: The Sanctuary MUST have friends within the government to cover up all the explosions etc. They would have been captured on CCTV so many times and they might have not even realised. Even a car chase, for example. So, therefore, in my stories I created a government agency called Special Operations of the Supernatural, or the SOS for short. They deal with the cover-ups and have people in the government to prevent certain situations. They also provide a covert anti-terrorist force, to deal with mages who threaten people's safety.
    Known vehicles include Apache helicopters and black Jaguar XF's with tinted windows.
    They carry Colt M4 carbines and Beretta M9 pistols.
    Their uniforms consist of kevlar body armour (black) and navy and black army camouflage. They wear tactical goggles (black tinted), military grade kevlar helmets and a tactical face-mask to hide their features from view. They generally HALO jump (High Altitude Low Opening) into combat situations as it's the best way to fly in without being detected.
    The SOS is split into squads, consisting of six people. Two pilots (well one pilot and one gunner) and four "Units" who are codenamed conveniently, so "Unit 1", "Unit 2" etc.

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  51. I like the double x, Astryxx. Cool name.

    [I'm not really here, just wanted to point that out]

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  52. Oh and, hey Astryxx! I don't believe we've met, I'm Dragona. *gives cookie*


    And hey Miss Cain! How are you?

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  53. And sorry if I comment a lot, it's just that I can't refresh the page when it's the first one (because the only way I can usually is to go back a page, then forwards again), since my internet - for some weird reason - has no refresh button and using the keyboard to do it doesn't work either.

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  54. I really hope Derek sees my ideas. ^^

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  55. Hey Lewis! How are you?

    By the way, I looked through some of my characters and there are a couple that would be capable of healing people.
    However, one is from the future and was transported back in time and she has nanomites inside her which allows her to heal herself, so she'd probably be able to use them to heal others too.
    The other is an android called F.R.E.D. (it does stand for F-Class Robotic Experimental Destroyer), and is again from the future and he has adaptive camouflage so he can transform into any human. He has a great knowledge (his memory is like full of knowledge about magic and science etc), so he'd be rather smart. He has no magic, though.

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  56. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  57. Thanks!
    Could you send me an e-mail with the details of that woman who can heal herself please?

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  58. L? Where is she? *looks around* Thanks by the way!

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  59. Yep Lewis sure. I'll email you the villain too. Is it ok if I do it tonight, though? I have to go to school in like 10 minutes. ^^

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  60. Sure, I can wait. Thanks Dragona! If anyone has any ideas how I could improve just tell me.

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  61. Man, LSODM sounds awesome.

    It has the potential to be as good as DB, imo.
    Which is my favourite. Just.
    IblameVilequessebecauseIshipitandIlovetoshipbadguysok.

    Oh my Golden God

    I think I might scream, come August. :)


    *not here, just commenting once*

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  62. The villain is called Durham Laslit. ^^

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  63. I think you mentioned him in your e-mail. I still need more details I think let me look

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  64. Yeah, I'll send you them tonight then you can choose whether to use them. They might be suitable, they might not. But it's worth a try.
    And again, if you need any more just give me a shout because I have like 50 OCs and maybe 4 species of creature I've made up.

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  65. In the e-,ail you said that he was killed...Is he a zombie now?

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  66. OMG WOW.
    *isnt really here because needs to go to school*

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  67. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  68. I have to go to school now. I'll be on tonight (and I'll email you tonight Lewis). Bye!

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  69. Oh, that was Cabader Lewis. Not Durham.
    Cabader is a good guy. And no he's not a zombie. He was killed in WWII and was an elemental, but a dark mage who had the power to control souls kept him in place, and made him a body for him using parts of the machine gun that killed him, his old army uniform and parts of an old soul catcher to hold his soul in place.
    But yeah, Durham Laslit and Cabader aren't the same.

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  70. [sings the first bit of Brandi Carlile's 'Happy']

    I should be asleep, but I'm here for now... In time for what, I wonder.

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  71. Blah, never mind. Sleep.

    [sorry I keep going back and forth...]

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  72. Quoting yesterday's blog post:
    "That means no Twitter and no blogging, and very little internet presence at all. Even a half hour of writing a blog is a half hour of NOT writing the book, and I can't afford to do that right now. When the book is done, when it's finally done, business as usual will be resumed. Until then, this temporary silence continues".

    Now what was the need of that Derek?

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  73. Wow love the synopsis! It is AMAZING!

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  74. Omg I love the synopsis. Now I really CAN'T wait for the book.

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  75. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  76. Aaaand I'll pop back in again, even if no one is here.

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  77. OMG THAT SYNOPSIS!!
    *dies*
    I can't wait any longer!!
    GIVE ME THE DAMN BOOK DEREK!!

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  78. I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT DEREK OMG.

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  79. Raiden is now gone. I am to take his place. And oh boy, are we going to have a lot of fun... -teleports away-

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  80. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  81. OMFG!!!!!! THE DEAD MEN!!!! OMG

    My favourite characters consist of all the dead men :D :D oh my god im so happy right now

    THANKS DEREK

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  82. -teleports next to Shaylin- Hello. You're new to the blogging world, I presume?

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  83. Hello, Jubi. -walks teleports next to you-

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  84. YOU ARE HORRIBLE AND I HATE YOU

    WHO EVEN LIKES THESE BOOKS ANYWAY

    /proceeds to cry self into a watery grave

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  85. Something is wrong with you Becky

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  86. No but this book sounds so amazing and horrible and oh good lord I'm going to cry and the entire fandom is going to be a wreck and there'll be riots and hysterical teenagers across the globe and iF THE UNNAMED COMES BACK MAN I SWEAR DOWN

    also friends become foe

    /if ravel is golden eyes/

    do you think this is a game derek

    do you think we're willing to play this game

    /because we are not/

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  87. and don't even get me started on val and darquesse because i will scream

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  88. oh god no wait because saracen /knows things/ if he finds out val is darquesse and he lets onto ravel or something and everyone finds out and everyone turns on skul and val nope okay bye i'm going to bury myself alive

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  89. "here lies becky she buried herself alive because the thought of lsodm was too much for her."

    dshjbgfyjgfiljwf

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  90. If any of that stuff wasn't in it I wouldn't read it.
    If no one dies it isn't a good book
    It is what makes it exciting

    Simplez

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  91. No I'm most certainly not!!!!!!

    'cause I'm a Fanguy

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  92. everyone is a fangirl regardless of gender

    fanboys are a mere legend

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  93. So if Brad Pitt or George Clooney really liked SP then they would be fangirls?

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  94. Murder and killing is not what makes a book great. What makes a book great is the wild universe that you can fall into, the great universe you get inspiration from. The place you go to to hide in when you need help. The place you go to when you're lost. But that's just my personal opinion. My irl. Not Sirius'.

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  95. Right............ your argument is impenetrable so I'll just agree I'm a fangirl.

    OMG! JUSTIN BIEVER!!!!! LOLZ*duckface*

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  96. no those aren't fangirls those are idiots

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  97. Although I do agree with you Sirius, if no one died in Last Stand of Dead Men it wouldn't be that great

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  98. i know that. it's my duty to freak out about the impending horror and loss though. it's all i know.

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  99. Is anyone up for a fight? I will just start one if that is necessary. Again, I am asking for Sirius. Sirius doesn't talk much.

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  100. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

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  101. BYE JUBI!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

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  102. If there is no one here I'll leave, if you don't show your selfs in 5 min then I'll leave

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  103. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!!!!

    It's seriously a war against Sanctuaries?!

    HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!

    * has dynamite*

    GET THE IRISH YAAAAARRRR!!!!!

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  104. Lol Celine does this as I let her read:

    WE FIGHT IRISH PEOPKE?! KILL THE IRISH * insert evillaugh*

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  105. Im screwed he's killed me off I know it. Killed Ravel off too havent you Landy?!

    * has dynamite*

    Dont mess with le Zaf

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  106. I wasn't ready for the synopsis & killing of the dead men thing D;

    Hi, btw:)

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  107. Ooh, yeah... Derek said on Twitter: Now it is time for when all then Dead Mean die

    Next post: I mean diet

    Post after: Excluding Skulduggery, of course

    DAMN YOU DEREK!

    HI AS WELL!

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  108. I am going to sneakily copy and pate a Word document from my laptop and send it to myself so I can work on it here...

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  109. Damn you Derek is right!

    Is he trying to turn his fandom into emotional wrecks??

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  110. Actually... I won't.. I'm too damn tired...

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  111. I know the feeling. I've soo much work to do today but I just got into my pyjamas so now I'm going to pretend I don't actually have any thing to do..

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  112. I has badminton, lawnbowls, Romeo and Juliet, maths and indo... I am pooped

    And my friends and I are fighting.. Sorry... I'm falling sleep...

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  113. Lol that does sound like a long day indeeed :0

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  114. Hello?

    I actually can not wait for LSODM.

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  115. Hello Alexandra

    Reading that has made me edgy all day. I read it this morning and was all nervous and exited an worried all day in school.

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  116. How is everyone? Besides being emotional wrecks from the synopsis..

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  117. I'm good Ruá apart from being an emotional wreck obviously. How are you?

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  118. I'm fine, thanks :) very tired though, and also an emotional wreck..

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  119. Thanks a lot Derek. You have reduced us to emotional wrecks. Emotional wrecks who are now looking forward to LSODM even more. And are at the same time terrified of it.

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  120. How are you, alexandra?

    What Aid said. We don't know weather to laugh or cry!

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  121. Ruá it's fine.

    I'm both happy to get to read the synopsis and terrified by what it said.

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  122. You're new pic!! Love it! I didn't know calm and lsodm could be used in the same sentence , though :p

    Distant, playing Pokémon :3

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  123. I'm fine thanks Ruá! How are you?

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  124. Yeah I'm not sure they can be either. I might change it later.

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  125. Hmm it's a nice day today. Maybe we might actually get a few days of spring and even possibly a bit of summer this year.

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  126. Hey Ais. *hugs*

    Oh my Gos.

    FINBAR DIES D:

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  127. Today hasn't been nice! I got drenched in that rain/ hailstones.

    Hello Mara :)

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  128. Yeah but apart from that it was nice. We were in the yard and it was lovely and sunny and out of no where hailstones starts pelting down. But they stopped after about 5 minutes and its been nice since then.

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  129. The sky still looks pretty rainy here, but oh well, we did have a few lovely days though, I got sunburned.

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  130. I ded to the synopsis and to LSODM and bloglandians.

    I would do a slightly longer ded but I'm eating so I won't.

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  131. Meh I don't think it's my best one by a long way.

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  132. https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-8hCLcb8vzQ4/UXnpbH7YjRI/AAAAAAAAAQc/sgpd4RyzE0M/w422-h313/2013-04-25

    YOU MUST READ BETWEEN THE LINES.

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