Every year, my family tell me they don't know WHAT they're going to get me, and every year we have a great big laugh about it. But every year I think ah, THIS is the year. This is the year when they DO know what to get me, but they're all PRETENDING they don't. They're all conspiring with each other, pooling their money and resources, going that extra mile to get me the thing that will make me happy, whatever it may be. It's all a surprise, I think to myself. It's all a wonderful surprise and on Christmas Day when I've handed them their really really expensive gifts and I'm standing to one side while they ooh and ahh and laugh and hug, they're suddenly going to turn around and say Derek, surprise! We have what you've always wanted!
And then they show me a parcel beneath the tree and I fall to my knees, and with trembling hands I slowly tear the paper and lo... the most perfect present ever in the history of the world. And I am happy.
This year my mother got me a dart board.
She got me a dart board because, obviously, she knows how much I secretly love darts. She has cleverly read between the lines during each of our many conversations throughout the year- conversations in which darts have not been mentioned one single time- and she figured out that what I really wanted for Christmas, the thing that will finally make my life complete, is a great big dart board.
Mother, I think it is safe to say you have excelled yourself this year. Well done.
My brother and sisters, meanwhile, all got together and arranged an aircraft simulation lesson- where you sit in a cockpit thingy and take off and land a plane without actually, you know, being IN a plane. Well, they ALMOST did that. What they ACTUALLY did was hand me a piece of paper with all this written down. They got me a SUGGESTION for Christmas.
Now, to you, this mightn't sound that bad. You might be thinking hey, they didn't know if Derek would be interested in this, so they suggested it, and if he seemed agreeable, they'd go off and book it. And this, dear Minion, would a reasonable thing for you to think.
Unless you remember a few years ago where my sisters told me that what they were going to do for me that Christmas was renovate my bathroom. Oh wow, said I. A bathroom renovation, just what I've always wanted. A bathroom renovation as done by two pregnant women with no prior history of bathroom renovations, nor indeed any relevant knowledge of said undertaking. I just couldn't get any luckier.
And if you remember that, you may also remember that they never actually got around to doing it.
And you may also remember that last year, in some feeble attempt to make up for it, they got me a bath mat and towel. For Christmas. Between the two of them.
It wasn't all terrible disappointment and quiet tears when no one was looking, because today was also the day of Doctor Who and The Snowmen!
I'm not entirely sure who the villain was or what the logic was, and I thought Richard E Grant could have been used SO much better, but it was fast and funny and Matt Smith is great and Jenna Louise Coleman is... is...
Jenna Louise Coleman is just so PRETTY.
I know, I know, I have a history with Amy Pond. We were close. We were even in love, for a while. But times change. People change. They move on. I've moved on. I love Amy, I do, and she will always have a special place in my heart...
But Jenna Louise Coleman is just so PRETTY.
I... I think I love Jenna Louise Coleman. I think THAT is what I got for Christmas.
God (or whatever random deity you might acknowledge) bless us, every one.
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Sparky I missed you! I got exciting news for myself and NJ
I know Zath left. Scàth was repeatedly moaning about it. :)
Sorry. Would you prefer to be tackled three times instead? *grins*
Once there was a criminal who was in jail. He managed to tunnel himself out of jail and came up in a kids' playground.
He climbed out of his hole, stood there, and yelled, "I'M FREE! I'M FREE!"
Then a little kid came up to him and went,"So what? I'm four."
What is it, Zaf?
Sanguine would be the idiot to do that or Scapegrace
NJ and I MIGHT be in book 8 :D
*laughs* How true. :)
That's awesome, Zaf!
Once there were three men called Poo, Manners and Get Lost. One day they all decided to go on a bike ride together. Poo fell of his bike and Manners stopped to help him up. Get Lost went round the corner and bumped into a policeman.
"Now, now, what's your name?" the policeman asked.
"Get Lost," said Get Lost.
"Where are your manners?" the policeman asked.
Get Lost replied, "Round the corner picking up Poo."
*off
THRUST KNOWS MY TRUE NAME. O_O
Scaryness. :/
Hypothetical question... It's research for a new angle.
Couple getting ready for a wedding, picking out dresses and suits and that. But they don't want to rush into their wedding. They want to take their time.
Husband to be finds out that he is dying and only has... 3 months left to live.
Both don't want to get married for the sake of him dying.
But should they??
Bloody hell Em...
That was meant to be the first comment. XD
The Internet is going so slow because my little brother is watching a million You Tube videos. -_-
What??
I know it sounds gruesome but it's just something I'm doing with some of my characters...
. . . Get marrid. The living one will eternally regret it if they don't.
HI EVE!
Get married short while is worth og
Almost 1:30 AM. :O
I think the couple should keep going with their plans as if the other was not going to die. Not DENYING it, but just keep going and don't panic. If they wanted to take their time then they should take their time. I mean, married or unmarried, they're still together, right?
A 3 month marriage, watching the partner suffer for the majority of it??
Doesn't seem fair...
Chase it seems to me if the couple goes on it would give closeure to the living one
But the living one WILL reggret it if they don't.
Hi Chase!
How can you be sure it would be closure they are getting??
What if it's nothing but a lifetime of torture of 'ifs and buts and what could have been'?
Going to sleep now. Be on in eight hours or else!
Hi Star!! Hi Chase!
Sure, they might regret not being married, but what would you prefer? A steadily paced, calm last three months or a huge rush just to get things done?
Bye Star!
If the partner who is dying, is in pain for those 3 months of marriage, then it's not paticuraly calm.
It's suffering then even more suffering of the surviving partner, being left alone.
Yeah.
http://blog-of-random-things.blogspot.kr/2012/12/here-christmas-present.html?m=1
Sorry for the wait. I finally posted it. Please look, it's for everyone. :)
Sorry I can't stay either. Just wanted to let you know that I posted something.
Hello Chase. Hello Lavender Hope, how wonderful to see you. Sorry I disappeared, and I am afraid i will have to do so again...
rigging up an old trebuchet to hold up a twenty-pound sledgehammer... I dont want to use one of my new ones...
Hi, Eve the ROCK.
Bye Ink.
Hello.
And Emerald, if it wasnt for the last minute, we wouldnt get anything done.
They should get married in their last minute.
Hello again, Kestrel LeStarre.
Kestrel LeStarre!*raises hand*
Could I call you Zodiac?
Why does this always happen to me?
Zodiac? I...erm...suppose. Do you mind me asking why?
Em, I would have to say it depends on the people.(Totally useless, I know.)
Not entirely useless. And entirely true.
No. I don't mind you asking why. As long as you dont mind me not answering.
Naturally, I'll Answer- not sure what the question is anymore, but i can guess.
I don't know.
Anyway, what would your response be to someone asking you if you were seeing a psycologist?
Okay, then, Why do you want to call me Zodiac? *grins*
I would probably grin creepily and say that yes, I was, they were helping me deal with the grief I felt from killing my husband.(Mind you, I'm 11)
I'm leaving now to go rewatch the Christmas special- I missed about 10 minutes because of a screaming child. Au revoir!
OMG, how'd it go with Mara?? Is she OK?????
So sorry!!! I had to go perform, and there's no wifi in the theater...
Oh, Hi/Bye Kessie.
I think she's staying-not sure though.
Oh. *Doesnt grin, but cocks head thoughtfully*
Oh! that works so much better on screen than in realiy...
okay, wait. so. question. question. Right! question. And I'm supposed to try and answer it, yes?
right.
Yes.
Oh, that. right, I still don't know.
That's certainly creative, although quite dramatic, with the whole greifless murder of your late spouse, an arranged marriage from another planet. Was he younger? or older?
Anyway, I was asking only
because
Someone asked that
of me...
kind of awkward when I realized the honest truth was
yes,
I am almost sort-of-ish seeing a psycologist... lyish
I hope she is... I hate seeing people feel... [is not sure entirely how to finish sentence, so trails off]
Hello Fabi S..
Hello. Goodbye. I have like zilch battery from trying and failing to access the internet backstage... And I have another show that starts at 7...
Im back i was writing
Oh... Well then. See you
later
I suppose
Good for you, Zafira. I wish that I could write.
WHat show?
I'm back...
Sorry for poofing. :P
Meh nothing to do everyone went to bed but me because everyone hasta go to a funeral and i dont becaise the dead guy has not one ounce of relations to me and mom is lettting me stay up late and all
...What?
I'm back.
I'm glad I rewatched it. I had missed the bowtie scene originally.
...?
I left to rewatch the Christmas special.
'Ello Sparky! Long(ish) time, no see! How've you been?
*shrugs*
I've been alright.
You?
Well, great now that I'm on break, I suppose.
What would YOU do if someone asked you if you were seeing a phsychiatrist?(Cat was asking earlier)
...
*thinks*
I'd probably slap them, then floor them, then tell them to mind their own business.
Brb.
That's lovely, that is.
And then I'd say no, cause I'm not.
Afterword unconscious from being beaten up. I see the logic. *nods*
*After they're
*sighs*
That wouldn't knock someone out, Kes...
It could if they hit something really hard on the way down....
...Maybe
It appears that I have to go. Adios!
Later!
Hi/Bye!!! XD
Hello Fabi S!
Hi, Sparky B.!!!!
How's it goin'?
[yawns.] It's really tiring, dancing for fofteen minutes in a winter coat in front of your grandparents and about a million other people you don't know.
*fifteen
It's going good, though. It's a good kind of tired.
I know the feeling.
Good. It's a feeling worth xperiencing!
[Yawns again, but doesn't want to gO to sleep at 8:11]
[Begins tap-dancing to stay awake. Realizes tap is not my strong suit. Starts to do coffee grinders instead]
...
So, I take it you're a dancer.
To some extent. I'm also a lot of other things. {coffee grinders are a hip hoppy breakdancy on the floor move}
I'm also a writer and a ninja and an actress!
And a bit weird! XD
And, a chatterbox, apparently.
Sorry.
No, I'm being really distant, sorry!
I'm trying to write, make a blog post, sing, talk to you, talk to a couple other people and read memebase at the same time.
... And I have to stop typing every thirty-or-so seconds because of the hand movements that go with the chorus of this song....
Haha. I'm still a chatterbox. XD
What song?
Uh...
Put Your Hearts Up.
By Ariana Grande.
Ah. [googles]
I wont piof i hope
Hi
... Mr. Bliss?
Hi.
Hi Zaf!
I am back, if only because I'm curious about Mr. Bliss.
Hello, Mr. Bliss.
Hi, Back! I'm Fabi!!! XD
Bliss what is he doing here?
Idk. What are you doing here, Mr. Bliss?
Hello, Fabi! My full name is "Back if only because I'm curious about Mr. Bliss." Thank you very much! *sniffs*
Brb.
Btw, no offence to whoever you are, but Mr. Bliss would always punctuate things properly.
Just sayin'.
I thought Bliss was dead...
Oh, sorry Back, if only because I'm curious about Mr. Bliss!!! XD
I heard that rumor, too.
Yeah i thought he died in TFO
*screams*
GHOSTY!!
Bliss, are you dead?
Did we scare him away?
Probably.
Ya, it was TFO, but near the beginnIng of SP, there's a scene where
Serpine: I thought you were dead.
Bliss: yeah I heard that too. In fact it was a rumor that I started myself.
Ish
My presence scared him
*laughs*
Yeah, I guess we're just scary enough to do that.
*growls* Terrifying, we are.
Zafira, he prob. doesn't know who you are.
Hmm dont mind me forgetting half of this
Maybe i should re-read Scepter....I mean i sent Derek one of my copies
Oh, ya! [makes "scary" face]
And of course he knows me i'm so famous'
Of course, Grand Mage. *pats Grand Mage's head*
He may have been out of civilization for a while, but whatev.
It would xplain why everyone thought he was dead.
*nods*
Sorry my ego needed a moment to grow more
*sits in tree*
Hey i would laugh if somehow we woke up Derek
That would be amusing, certainly.
*appears in the tree behind Zaf and pushes her out of it*
BOO!!
Ah! Another ghost!
Ghost? [pulls out camera] where???
Oh.
*falls out*
GHOST!!
*throws Sparky in lake*
[films]
*sits back with popcorn and watches*
*scowls*
Jeez, Zaf, take a joke...
Fabi, you can't catch ghosts on tape. Although, as this one seems to be extraordinarily grumpy and completely substantial, it may not even BE a ghost.
*smirks*
Oops
*helps Sparky out of lake*
Wait
*shadow walks and drops Kessie in volcano*
Hi all
Dammit.
*gets eaten by the volcano shark*
Yippee.
It's wet. Ghosts don't get wet, [keeps filming]
Hello, Nix! Still dead?
Hi, nix. I thought you were dead.
Nix!! Want me to revive you? I am a Necromancer
Hi, Nix!
*eyes Fabi*
Hey, can I film something with that?
He is. That's why he's talking/typing in italics.
OMG ru another ghost???
[Films]
Grand Mage, he's a pile of ash.
Necromaner's could revive me if I had any remains
So? If someone managed to revive Scapegrace and he's barely got a brain i think Nix will be easy
Does your ectoplasm count as remains?
Zaf, but Scapegrace still had REMAINS. Nix...doesn't.
No, because Spacegrace had remains. It was a brain transplant. I don't have a brain
[Eyes Sparky suspiciously] maaaybe, maybe not.
Hmmm Nye? Anyone think to ask it?
What are you recording?
What are you going to film? {I'm a cameraninja, I can defend myself} would it make good TV?
Is there a reason why you need it, and can't just have me film it?
Zaf, I already did. After he collapsed, but before he turned to ash.
Zaf, listen closely.
I, Nixion Strange, cannot be revived just yet because there is nothing to bring back as of yet.
I'm a free spirit. I have my own way of coming back, which I'll use when I get bored of this
I hate seeing a Minion hurt or well dead in this case
*looks at my burnt arm*
Forgot about that
So ectoplasm doesn't count as remains?
I'm not ectoplasm!
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_p_n_format_browse-bi_mrr_0?rh=n%3A2625373011%2Ck%3Adoctor+who%2Cp_n_format_browse-bin%3A2650306011&bbn=2625373011&keywords=doctor+who&ie=UTF8&qid=1356670820&rnid=2650303011
*dies of happiness*
So many free episodes...
What are you then? (you haven't read much Eva Ibbotson, have you?)
So Sparky, back from the... uh... Thing you were on... Was it a cruise? I'm pretty sure it was... maybe.
Fabi, I am a spirit of magical means. This is not the Eva Ibbotson world, this is the SP world
Sparky, you went on a cruise? Where to?
Nix can i at least put the ashes in an urn?
Whatever.
I stopped in New Caledonia and Vanuatu.
Yes, it was a cruise. Kudos, Nix.
Fine Zaf
Bye! [takes out film and replaces it with fresh roll, hands Sparky the camera] don't break it.
*fist pumps*
Who stabbed in the dark and got it right? This Strange guy stabbed in the dark and got it right!
*puts Nix's ashes in an urn guarded by Derek lizard*
Good lizard guard the ashes of humam Derek's Minion
*feeds lizard cheddar cheese*
What did you stab in the dark?
I'm falling asleep at my computer, so Adios everyone!
...For now. *creepy grin*
Bye, Kes.
*looks at the camera*
*hands it back*
Never mind...
Im gonna go to bed
Night all
You wanted to destroy the film, didn't you?
Well you won't get away with it!!!
[grins villainously, leaves 4 real, bye!!]
Bye Kes!
Bye Zaf!
Bye Fabi!
Bye! [leaves for real real]
...
Oh, seriously, Fabi?
Oh, first, the ded, right. I ded to good improv scenes, ninjas entertainment and anyone who reads this.
Seriously? I'm NEVER serious!!!!XD
Ok, NOW I'm going to sleep.
Night!!!
*whistles*
Msd
So, Nix, how exactly did you die?
I killed an army of Rippers with a fire trick that turned me to ash
Or something along those lines
...
Ow?
Yep. I blame society. Or me, since it was my fault. But blaming society makes me feel better
... I guess it would.
http://insidesparkybraginskishead.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/i-have-returned.html
I sense... well, I dunno, but what's with the triple dots?
Huh?
Never be minding...
GOD DARN IT, NIX, why did you let the camera footage get destroyed???
Because feet have ears, you know!
... What?
I... Um... Just...
I really don't know
No they don't! Only fish tails have ears!
Oh really?
I'll kill you somehow!
*raises eyebrow*
You know what, I'm leaving now. If Fabi comes, tell her that Ieni is our official ninja sponsor.
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