Now then... THAT was a tour.
And it's all over. I've been home for a few days in between, but the fact is this tour has been going on since August 5th, and it ended September 15th. Last night I was walking around my garden, looking up at the stars, and the thought hit me: it's over. It's done.
Sure, sure, I have other things to do. I have an interview tomorrow, and signings and events in Bray, Ennis, Bangor, Belfast, Dublin and Cheltenham to come over the next few months, but essentially, that's me done for the year.
It's been a good tour. No, it's been a great tour. I got to meet so many of my Minions, both from Blogland and Facebook and the Forums and even Bebo, for God's sake. And then I got to meet so many more, those of you who don't even post comments. And then I got to meet those Minions who don't even know I have a Blog, or that there are Forums and Facebooks and Tumblrs and whatnot out there.
Already, some of you are being talked about in the corridors of Harper Collins. The tall blonde with the T-shirt in London. The hot chick in Australia, who asked me to marry her and assured me her girlfriend wouldn't mind. The readers who gaped, who froze, who hopped and skipped, who babbled and blubbered. The readers who proposed and flirted and flattered. The readers who came in costume, the readers who came with gifts... the artwork on display, the stories, the effort and dedication and the sheer talent. The massive four hour signing session in Liverpool 1, the even more massive five hour session in Bluewater...
And then all the bro-fists and the hugs and the tears from the hyperventilating teenage girls. The parents and guardians who stood in line so patiently, and who were so good-humoured. I hope you Minions thanked them for driving/escorting/waiting with you- they thoroughly deserve a hug.
It was exhausting. It was manic. It was fun. I wasn't able to take all the gifts with me on the plane, so they're being shipped over and I should have them in a few days. Once they are in my possession, I shall post some photos. Some of this stuff is astonishing.
So thank you, everyone who came out to see me and get a book signed. For some of you, it was our first time meeting. For others, we've met before. Others still, you've come to see me practically every single tour. I remember a lot of you. I know some of your names. And I love seeing you again.
And I'd love to say that now I'm going to take a holiday- but really, what are the chances of that? I've got stuff to do, and things to write, and sometime over the next month or so I'm going to have to start Skulduggery Pleasant Book 8...
Monday, September 17, 2012
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Thank you,
*Walks to a stage with a microphone*
Welcome, welcome. Today is a new day, a new day for life, death -no pun inteanded- and magic.
Erm. Skip the formalities.
I am quite unwell today, I just threw up.
Ew. Are you ok?
*backs away so as not to get pikes on*
*puked
Okay... Well, in short, I would just like you to be a witness to the opening of Australia's new Sanctuary!
It is invisible, yes but wipe away the dirt from your eyes, focus beyond the horison and you will see it. I, Death Rose will no become Grand Magess, of the ACOE!
Yeah, okayish...
ACOE?
You need Elders.
And it is 'Magess' because Mage sounds so masculine!
Australian Council Of Elders. I get it now.
Australian Council of Elder, I'll go see if Hellboy and Nix want to join!
I thought it was a typo. Well, Mage is short for Magician, so what is the feminine of magician?
Nix is Australian?
Yeah, he lives in Melbourne!
The feminine for magician would be witch
Feminine of WIZARD is witch. I just Googled it, and it seemed that Magess actually is correct.
Yay!
Kes, I feel like fighting
Here, fight this.
*sets lizard mutt from HG on her*
Yes!
*Starts fighting lizard mutt* *Laugh*
Have you read HG?
*Gets arm bitten off* *Screams*
Last year, before it became kool
*laughs*
Katnisssssssss.....
I read it in 2010 I think. So you know what a lizard mutt is.
Yes, they eat Finnicks for breakfast
*Mutt grabs leg and rips it off* *Screams*
Lol.
Katnisssssssss....
You read 1984?
Fine. I'll save you. *stabs lizard mutt with katana*
No,
*Screams loudly as possible when Mutt rips my finger off*
I just killed the mutt. Gosh.
Thanks, I had it...
*Looks at bleeding body*
I wonder what Eden's going to think. . .
*brings Death to Nye.*
Doctor, this idiot said she wNted to fight something and a lizard mutt appeared, so can you heal her?
Yes? Thanks.
Have you read Tiger's Curse?
*Frowns*
I'm sorry Dr. Nye, this is the fourth time I've seen you in 24hours, I know... What?! Next time you see me you're going to dissect me to find my soul?
Yes I have.
Nye! That is completely against protocol!
I gtg, brb.
Ok, I'm back.
Bye, and why are you leaving me with Nye alone? It's like leaving Kelsey alone with Lokesh!
Very sort of half here.
?
I said I was back. Besides, youre nit alone. Clarabelle is there, remember?
SPARKY!!
*hugs Sparky*
Hey... Kes...
http://memecrunch.com/meme/4TQ8/team-kishan-team-ren/image.png
But I know, I've read Tiger's Destiny
*Squels*
There ain't Clarabelle! It's her day off! And hi Sparky!
*Tackle hugs him to the ground*
Sorry, it was a long time ago and I've only read the first one. I shall reread it tomorrow I guess.
...HIM?
Oh that's true Death. I didn't even think of that...
In Blogland it's TUESDAY though.
Kool, okay and what do you mean 'HIM'?
*scowls*
I'm a GIRL.
GIRL. FEMALE.
THIS SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING ANYMORE.
Lol.
BAD DEATH!
Sorry, auto correct on the iPod
...Yes, right, sure.
*sits in tree and sulks*
*Glares at Kes* *Waits for screams*
It is auto correct, I promise!
Does anyone know what kind of hat Skulduggery has...?
*crosses swords which are immune to magic in front of her*
Your glares are futile.
Private eye
Sparky, a fedora I think.
*scowls at Death*
I don't believe you.
Mostly because I don't trust you.
*narrows eyes*
Mostly because you demolished my treehouse.
Twice.
Not a fedora...
WHAT?!
*Shimmers above Kes and whacks her with a tree branch*
True, not a fedora. He has a whole ROOM of hats, remember?
*cuts branch in half*
Grande Mage Zafira would not be happy if you killed her Administrator.
I didn't destroy it? I was thrown into it and the other time???
I am Grande Magess of the Australian Sanctuary! You cannot say that without prof!
I'm grande Magess, I can do what I want!
You are what?
Death, you can't self proclaim yourself that.
It's rude.
Magess, Mage is too masculine.
And I built the Sanctuary, and Guild didn't get voted in
I am Administrator to a far older Sanctuary.
*snarls*
Death, I recommend you stop talking...
Please, please stop talking...
Sparky, she built an Australian Sanctuary because apparently there wasn't one.
So, this is a modern sanctuary, I can send Demon Fire after you! He is my brother and body guard
Fine, I'll type instead
Death, there's already an Australian Sanctuary...
IN FACT, Zath, Nix, Eve, a few others and I spent quite a while deciding where it would be.
I'm Administrator and possibly Head of Security. I have permission to use lethal force.
Whatever, it will be a Victorian Sanctuary
So does my brother, the story about Crystal Darkflair that I put on here a while ago was true!
Oh well then.
*blows up Death's Sanctuary*
Hahahaha now I outrank you!
*pinches bridge of nose*
There aren't separate Sanctuaries for different...
*sighs*
*retreats to my treehouse*
*Stares in shock* *Turns around and dissapears out of Blogland*
Bye Death!
Sparky, I'm not sure if this Is true, but aren't there 2 American Sanctuaries? One on the East Coast and one on the West Coast?
There's no information on how many Sanctuaries there are...
Ok. Thanks. I just know that a few people have told me that, and that Grande Mage Kerias recently appointed me as Administrator for the East Coast one.
There is an American Sanctuary, but any information about it is completely fan-made.
That's what I meant. I realize there is probably only one on the SP universe, and that Strom is Grande Mage. I meant the fanmade Sanctuaries.
Ah well, I try and avoid those, simply because it's really hard to keep track of them all.
I tend to keep the Aussie one below the Chifley Tower, in Sydney...
That carpark has given me nightmares.
Yeah, I have no clue what you just said. msd, I'm falling asleep.
Kk.
Gotta go anyway.
Bye!
Bye!
I. AM. BACK!
I am partially here, I am making my Sanctuary on minecraft
*shrugs and climbs into my treehouse*
*walks around*
Where'd the...
Found it.
*runs into room with stereo speakers lining the walls*
My music room!
*puts UltraNUMB on so loud that the walls of the treehouse shake, making sawdust drift to the ground*
Nice! Turn it up!
*is drinking coke and listening to the music, therefore not able to hear Death Rose*
*Bangs on tree house door*
TURN IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can't even think about book eight. the penultimate book.
nope, not thinking about it.
can't wait to see some of the stuff you got. and hot australians are always a good thing.
*is head-banging*
*song ends*
*scowl slowly forms on face*
Death, stop hitting Chester.
Hi Bethany!
I am Death Rose! A sum up of me... Phsycopathic
Turn the song up and I will!!!!
I am making a Temple in Victoria, it is going to be under Luna Park!
Death...
I need to go.
See ya Sparky! Who is a girl! See! I know! It is auto correct!
Eww! I am listening to some Scoby Doo show and then their are Fred and Daphne kissing!
The Gaol is so hard to do!
What??? Why can't the Sanctuary be in Adelaide? It can be under the old girl's bathroom at my school, everyone's too scared to go in there, only me and my friendlings have, and I scared the c*** out of them by turning the light off :P
Lol, I'm in Vic, and it is more of a temple
What's more of a temple?
The sanctuary
Why is the sanctuary a temple...??
It is supposed to be a sanctuary but it looks like a Necromancer temple
Why....?
Because it is black, underground and spooky
Helllllo?
Hey Miss Sparky
Hello, Rose...
Nice pic... I wanna punch something!
NOT THE LIZARD MUTT!
Do you know what my picture is of?
No, but hell is it freaky!
*frowns*
It's a Winter Hunter from the video game L4D...
Okay, I am starting a war, do you want to be on my side, or your own?
...Why are you starting a war? Where? Who against? Why would you want to?
Because I am bored. Here. Against my reflection. And yet again, because I am bored.
*scowls*
Don't have a war.
Have a fight with yourself.
And, anyway, you'll win, it's not like you're reflection can do anything to you.
What's really more fun is summoning a small army of Hollow Men.
*pulls out Makhaira*
Like so.
*points behind her at Hollow Men, about thirty in total*
*runs past rose, into the thick of them and starts slashing open their papery bodies*
It can, it was studying with China Sorrows and now it has magic and it has more symbols than China herself!
Yeah!
*Starts blowing them up with my glaring*
*pauses, moving away from the gas*
Reflections can't have magic.
Not even Val's has magic.
Will you excuse me for a sec? I need to talk to Hansard Cray!
Mine does, China was doing experiments on it!
It's Kray...
China doesn't have the power to give things magic, not even Ancients wield that much power.
"Hello?"
"Hansard, how are you?"
"Fine... Can I help you?"
"Uh... I need a few indestructible Hollow Men"
"May I ask why?"
"Of course silly! I always have these urges to kill something or start a war, I was thinking that I might be able to infuse them with magic..."
"Okay. . . How many?"
"Hmmm... How about 300?"
"Okay, that will be $600, 000."
"Done! Thank you!"
"Bye!"
"Ser ya later! Also, I want express delivery! I'll pay extra!"
"Okay, then that is $650,000."
"Okay, bye!"
*Hangs up*
Yes skulduggery pleasant book 8 !!!!!
You'd be surprised at what some symbols can do!
Hello Miss Sorrows! It seems that we were just talking about you!
There are no symbols giving things power.
No one possesses that power.
Only Faceless Ones.
And people don't consort with them and live.
Stop bending the rules.
*Shrugs*
China, tell her about your symbols! They can give magic, can't they?
*scowls*
No, no they can't!
They can! Reflection, ATTACK!
*Glares evily at Sparky* *Moves hand and blue light shoots out if it and blasts Sparky in the chest*
*walks into my treehouse*
*reflection can't enter treehouse*
That was easily solved.
*Grabs ax and starts chopping down the tree Chester was built into* *Grins*
*leans over balcony and looks down at Rose*
I'm not going to fight you.
I don't fight God-Modders, because I don't like losing.
I was one, once, and then I decided to be more realistic.
I still think I stretch the reaches of my powers too much, but I really don't want to give up my favourite move.
*Half way through the tree* *Starts chopping faster*
Chester cannot be cut down with an axe.
You can't do anything to Chester.
*jumps down and slams fist into the ground, throwing her off her feet and away from poor Chester*
Some people just want to watch the world burn.
*Laughs and gets back up* *Sends Sparky blue energy knives that pierce anything*
*weaves through them and slaps her*
Stop for a second and answer me this, what did I ever do to you?
*Laughs*
What did you do to her? You falsely accused her of hurting Chester twice and hit Grabde Magess a few times too!
*screams with frustration*
Grow up! Grow up and get over yourself!
Heard the term 'forgive and forget'?
Live by it!
I started a WAR in this place because I got so emotionally involved!
Well, I say started, which I didn't, but I certainly fuelled it.
Because I took every little thing to heart.
Get a grip.
That is why I'm a reflection, I like starting wars, I use anything I can against people, it's my thing!
No, you're a reflection, you don't have any emotion!
NONE.
STOP. BREAKING. THE. RULES!
I know I am a reflection, I think I feel emotion, she feels them, but I don't think I said anything about emotion...
To want to do something, emotion is required.
No, you need determination, that is not a emotion
Got a picture with you Derek. I look weird... Oh well. As long as i have it!!! I have got artemis fowl and gone but i haven't even read them yet!!! Whoops too busy reading SP!
Hi Jenifer!
Determination is an emotion.
Most things are.
In fact, I have reason to believe that rational thought requires emotion.
Ever wondered why reflections don't band together and kill all humans?
They lack drive.
Because, above all else, where would they get the drive from?
The owners! They have the past thoughts of their owners! I bet if a lot of owners wanted to kill humans, the reflection would go kill them too!
Yes, you're talking nonsense now.
That post made me so sad. *literally cries*
Relfections do not have emotions, Valkyrie's aside.
There is a reason for Valkyrie's being an exception.
There is no way to break these rules set out.
There are no symbols to give magic. There are usually no cannon characters mentioned in any Character OC/Bio, so China is also out of that equation.
I'm sick of God Modders and the people who automatically class themselves higher for no reason that can be justified properly.
The Australian Sanctuary has been discussed thoroughly. It's location is usually different according to who is writing about it.
There has only been one Grand Mage mentioned in any Bloglandian-Related Fan-Fiction, and that happens to be Sparky Braginski in Lynxia's 'One For You, Two For Me'.
Rawr.
*smiles brightly*
Why, hello Zath...
How long have you been watching?
I missed the play of UltraNUMB...Damn it.
I'll play it again, if you want.
Hello, Sparky. *returns the smile*
I hadn't been watching.
Just quickly skimmed through the comments when I got here is all.
Good on ya, either way, Sarge.
If you like. Doesn't really matter.
Alrighty.
I'm glad I showed you that song.
going to school now! bye !!!!
*waves arms around* I'm crying! I'll admit that I actually want pity. I am literally crying.
So am I, actually.
Bye, Davis.
Bye Davis!
What's wrong, Hel?
Oh, sorry, Hel...
The POST! Up there. *points up*
She didn't get to meet Derek.
Okay, I don't care anymore! You think that we are God-modders! We are not, I have discovered my true name! I have power that I never knew I had! I spent time finding it out! I lost family and colleagues because of it! I never said that they had emotion! Reflections are like robots; you can command them to do anything! I am not a bloody God-modder, I am me! I have spent so many f*cking years trying to figure what my true name was and the extent of what I am capable of! My reflection has magic, it didn't come from any mirror, it came from a mirror that had do many symbols on it and had magic infused with it!
Dont try to find your true name, don't lose colleagues for nothing! That way you won't be called a f*cking God-modder all the time!
*laughs*
Death, it's been done.
I know my True Name, and I actually have a reasonable explanation for how I did it too.
I know! Just realize that I have lost so much trying to find ultimate power and you just call me a God-modder!
*sighs*
Death, you've been on Blogger for two months.
Wow, so many people know their true names. I don't.
Death, drop it.
You've lost.
Be back soon!
I don't like having known my True Name, though, Hel.
Too cliche. I'd restart the entire Zathract character, but it's not really possible.
Bye, Sparky!
Mist, I had to kill so many people to find it, I had to destroy citys and had to verus unimaginable evil, what Val and Pleasant went up against is nothing in comparison!
See you Sparks. *is annoyed* Why does Derek have to keep reminding me that I didn't see him?
Fine! I am leaving! I'm not coming back either! And i am blocking every one's emails too!
*sighs* Check your email Death.
*is finding it hard not to roll eyes again*
And yet, do you actually have a reasonable way of how you discovered it?
And either way, it doesn't matter. This conversation/argument/debate was about Reflections, not True Names.
Boom!
But seriously, you better not block me. I'm going to need you for moral support soon.
And blocked!
*shakes head*
Bye Death. You'll be back before long though. It's happened to everyone.
*nods from beside Zath*
It has.
Zath, stop being so unconsiderate.
Death, fine, go. I don't need you anyway.
That's my way of showing that I care and also showing that you're being annoying.
Welcome back.
But yes, and multiple times, as well.
I've tried already, Hel. I don't bother over these things for very long if I don't see a point.
Well before Death decided, I decided that I must leave also. Only to save myself some tears. I'll be back eventually. Promise. And I will keep in contact by email. See you! *waves*
I see that this is a bad time...
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