I'm back home for a bit before my last weekend away, and I've spent today wandering around the house staring blankly at things. It's only when I'm back for a few days that I start to decompress and behave normally, so it looks like I'll have to wait a while for that to happen...
My few days in Ireland were awesome, as usual. I signed in Dublin, Kildare, Kilkenny, Drogheda and Cork. The Cork signing was probably the longest, because I haven't been there in a while, but everywhere there were enthusiastic readers laden down with books. Some truly bizarre and cool people.
Then I had a few days off before my event at the Mountains to the Sea festival, where I chatted on stage with Dave from Eason bookshops about movies that have influenced the series, and we even got to show clips.
Dave showed bits from Starship Troopers (awesome!) and A Nightmare Before Christmas (amazing!) and It's a Wonderful Life (uhm... what?)
I showed a few trailers for a few things, but I don't think I'll tell you what they were... In fact, it might make an interesting blog post, discussing these movies and showing clips... Oh goody, I've worked out what I'm going to be talking about next time!
I headed over to the UK on Friday- just in time to experience the heat- where I signed in Southampton, Bournemouth, Dulwich and Bluewater in London. Last year, I was signing in Bluewater for four hours. I figured there was no way I'd be signing for any more than that this time. Five hours later, I had changed my tune. From people coming in costume- I'm thinking of a skeleton morph suit in particular here-
to people who had made their own Skulduggery T-shirts (and a certain tall blonde with the most awesome T-shirt ever, festooned as it was with lines from the books)-
there was no chance of my smile ever dipping. It's the sheer enthusiasm and energy of the people who turn up to get their books signed that energises me every single time.
And the hugs...
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Did anyone else hear something?
*flies over to Elaisse*
Hey, would you like to destroy Nagier with me, and then we can kill each other afterwards?
Yes because they left beer and posters of Darquesse for president there.
*Rolls over and lets out final breath, thinking 'too much lake water'*
We were all mortals once Em
Well... Most of us
I'll teach him real slow like
* checks back on Death*
*heart beat slows*
Death, listen to me, just focus on me. I haven't a clue what's wrong with you abd I don't know how to stop it, but I need you to calm down and focus on just me. OK?
Ahh... Right. I didn't tell them to leave garabage everywhere, just leave the posters...
*Heart beat stops*
What's wrong Death? Do you want me to start CPR ?
*fights Val's influence to check on Death*
*looks at Eden*
now would be the best time to begin CPR
* starts compressions*
*Death's spirit frowns and mutters 'I hate second lung air!'*
*hears a tapping sound and frowns*
*sees Skulduggery and the lights start flickering*
No... NO!
*passes out*
*shadow walks away*
*comes back with an electric baton*
Haha!
*leaps into the lake and pushes down on Elaisse with feet*
*smashes into the bottom of the lake and kicks Elaisse repeatedly*
*looks between Em and Darquesse*
Who do I fight?
*Death's spirit frowns and mutters 'I hate second lung air!'*
Sorry Death, this will hurt, but should work
*turns electric baton on and presses it against Death*
* gets sparky to act as a human defibrilator*
Sparky is not here, Eden.
*isn't moving*
Damn it * uses electric baton*
*Death's spirit frowns and mutters 'I hate second lung air!'*
*grins underwater and drags Elaisse back to the surface*
*smashes her into a tree trunk and lets her fall*
*points to her forehead and summons a shadow knife*
And if you try anything when you wake up, I'll drive this through your skull.
I know you hate it but it's not second hand air * begins compressions*
*looks over at Nagier and Elaisse*
*head rolls to the side*
*wakes up*
What the hell just-
*thinks*
Dammit, it was Darquesse again...
Woah, what's wrong with Death? *calls Fletcher and gets him to teleport her to Sanctuary doctors*
*laughs*
Honestly, I didn't remember it being this easy.
*still has the shadow knife at the ready and waits for her to wake up*
*Spirit bats the baton away and passes straight through it*
*Giggles evily*
*flies over besides Nagier*
What are you doing?
Oh, yay, Val's back!
*calls over to Nagier*
Hey, you done yet? Don't kill anyone please, they're kind of my friends!
* asks Dr Nye to patch her up *
*doesn't look at Faceless One Nix*
Waiting.
*nods*
*punches hand through Nagier's head, and pushes his body back*
I don't like being ignored
*eyes open and stare at Nagier* Can, uh, someone help me... *screams* Get him away!!!!!
*staggers away and heals head (not particularly in that order)*
*laughs*
I wasn't ignoring you. You may have noticed that I answered.
Lynxia's back!
*stands in front of Lynx and growls at Nagier*
Back off!
Bit late, Em.
*falls to the floor and hides behind tree* Freaking creep.
*looks at Emerald*
If you back off right now and don't bother me again, I might be generous enough to let you live.
*helps Lynxia get away*
RUN!
Oh? You did?
I thought that you were saying that to Elaisse
Well then, since I've already started this
*blows up Nagier's heart*
*eyes widen and falls to the ground*
Yay the crazy psychopathic murderers are gone and the psychopaths are back * claps hands*
Not going to work, Faceless One Nix...
*sighs*
*Feels tugging sensation on left ankle*
This can't be good
*tries to run but falls and gets tangled in a bush* Ah!! *pulls out knife and tries to cut myself free*
*arches an eyebrow at Eden*
Who says the crazy psychopath murderers are gone? I'm still Ivy Animosity.
*sits down in tree*
*looks at hands and see's Death's blood on them*
*manages not to throw up and shadow walks down into the lake*
*washes off blood*
*shadow walks back up into the tree*
No more murderers only psychopaths * dances *
I'm not planing to kill Mist
I'm planing to enjoy myself
*cracks knuckles*
*helps Lynxia up*
*smacks her in the face*
FOCUS!
*slowly gets back up*
*looks at Faceless One Nix*
...
*spits blood in his face*
Well I mean mass murderers.
Eden, I'm a mudered in both my forms
*watches Nagier*
...Oh god, now he's done it...
Nagier is a murder, Eden.
*frowns at Eden*
Ivy is a mass murderer.
*wipes blood off*
*nods*
Going from bad to worse here buddy
And I used to be.
Okay so we shouldn't be happy now because everyone's a murderer they just have alter egoes that are worse.
I'm an assassin! *waves hand still trying to cut myself free*
*laughs*
You seem to think you could actually do anything permanent to me.
*smacks To be Named in the face*
Oi! Let Nix back, you hear?
*turns to face Nix*
You want to bring Chase into all this??
He wants to come onto the blog right now and I'm trying my best to keep him off.
He would not survive.
Nix is a mass murderer
Nix smash!
*blasts Nagier back*
*Body gasps as soul is put back in*
I have to have tea! Bbs
That's pretty much it, Eden.
*laughs*
Welcome to Blogland.
bye Death!
*gets up and crosses to Nagier* I hate you too. *punches him in the back*
**settles into stance* Kinda busy but what was it?
Nix isn't here right now, would you like to leave a message?
Em, why don't you want him here?
*gets pushed back and rolls over*
*coughs up some more blood and gets up*
As fun as this is, I don't see much point in fighting an enemy who is so much stronger than me.
It'll get repetitive. You'll kill me, I'll regenerate. And so on.
So I'll be departing now.
*becomes consumed by shadows and vanishes*
Bye Death see you later.
And Em, Nix wasn't doing it for free, he got fifty m18s (guns) as payment.
*comes down from tree*
well, we're not dead
Ah, looks like he's gone...
And on that note, I'm going to have to leave too.
Damn it Nagier!! Get back here!! Not-Nix might be stringer but I'm not and I still wanna fight you!!
*stronger
He'll be thrown into something he can't handle.
He doesn't belong in this world of magic, he's only here because of me.
And the fact that it seems to be a free for all of mass murders at the moment... a mortal would seem like a tasty starter.
*looks proud*
I'm stronger?
Well
*grins*
*falls to floor* Bye Zath. Now that the adrenaline is wearing off... *clutches head* Ow...
Of course you are, you're part Faceless One!
Yeah but you have to start somewhere, Em.
*writes a note*
Hey Nix,
'To be Named' thinks he's in charge, so, uh, come back. Yeah.
From Val.
*sticks it to To be Named's forehead*
Sorry for what Nagier did, Lynxia.
He's not what you'd call controllable.
Get him a lead.
Nix isn't going to kill him
I promised- Nix promised, that he would not kill him, and would actually back him up
It's his choice to learn magic
Ha - ha. *sighs*
*laughs at note on To Be Named's forehead*
*slaps Faceless One* Bring Nix back. Now.
*takes the note back and replaces 'To be Named' with 'Faceless One'* *sticks note back onto Faceless One, obscuring its vision*
I promised too, Em!
FIRST
VICTORY!
*nods*
Nix, if you could, like, get the Faceless One-Possessed version of you out now, that'd be great.
*reads note*
Nix: The Faceless One thinks he's stronger than me?
Faceless One: I am
Nix: Me?! ME?!
* goes off buys a lead and hands it to Zath* here you go consider it an early birthday present.
Uh... I ded to... Er... Perkles, the naked mole rat in that story me and Amanda wrote, because that's the first thought to come to mind.
Get out Faceless One, let Nix back.
You mean late Birthday Present, Eden?
*incinerates the lead*
*goes up to Faceless One and knocks on his head*
Nix? You in?
*frowns at dedication*
...Really?!
Well I'm sorry I don't know when your birthday is.
I don't want a lead anyway.
Be back soon-ish, guys!
Bye!
See ya Zath.
Bye Zath, hurry back.
Back to writing. *sits typing under tree*
bye Zath!
*lays down on grass*
*falls to the ground, mind in pain as two personalities fight*
*pokes Nix with foot* You okay?
Stupid question...
*gets up*
*kicks other personality*
Nix strongest there is! NIX SMASH OTHER PERSONALITY! NIX GIVE HIMSELF SMALL AMOUNT OF BRAIN DAMAGE!
*mutters* Nix is talking in third person...
*laughs*
I think Nix gave himself more than a little brain damage .
*laughs at Nix's ridiculousness*
I'm gonna be distant now, okay?
OK Val
Okay, Val.
So
*looks around*
What else is there to do?
Good Morning every...
Uh, what happened here??
Hi Chase!
*whispers to Nix* He's the mortal?
Okay.
Oh, you know, powerfuly insane alter egos, death and destruction, the usual
*slams Chase into a tree*
Get. Out.
You are not going to get involved with that death magic. You have no idea what it will do to you.
hi Chase!
Well, I went insane over a ball of aparrently cursed twigs, I tried to murder Eden, Nagier showed up, Lynxia went insane, Nix went insane, Lord Vile came along, then-
Basically, we're all crazy.
*whispers back*
Yep
Hey Chase, wazzup you got anymore weapons, preferably light machine guns or assault rifles.
Ah...
Emerald...
*looks at Val*
I didn't go crazy
I stayed up in a tree the whole time
That's why I'm not covered in blood and scars
*backs away from Chase* I'm gonna sit over there. *shadow walks to top of a tree* And Em, there's nothing wrong with death magic!
I got money for them here * holds up a wadd of cash*
*grunts in pain*
Good morning sweetheart.
Em, I want to try so calm your wolf.
*bows to Lynx*
Yes I am the mortal Lynx.
I'm staying up here.
Do you have weapons ? * waves the wadd of cash*
*looks at Lynx, confused*
What did I do??
*lets Chase go and sits in the tree with Lynx*
Eden, I'm a weapons dealer
What do you want?
*waves to Chase*
hi, I'm Miss Cain
don't think we've met
but hi, again
*frowns*
I don't know what I'm saying now...
I don't mix with mortals. Most of the time, I kill them. I'm staying here. I've been tempted enough this morning.
Oh...
I see.
I get that reaction a lot around here.
*stands next to Chase*
Lynxia, I'll vouch for him. I've promised to protect him and back him up
See we're all nut jobs and if you learn magic you'll be one of us * chants one of us *
And Nix I prefer paying with money not favours.
I mix with mortals. You know, on account of the fact that I live in a family of mortals... *mutters something about the last of the Ancients*
Besides, I kill sorcerers. Mortals just aren't any fun for me anymore
*whispers to Lynx*
Look at him, he comes to play with the big boys and thinks he's Rambo now.
Stupid mortal.
*shadow walks back in*
What'd I miss?
Not taking any chances, besides, I need to focus on typing.
I'll except money this time Eden
What do you want?
Hey Zath,
Chase what've you got?
*whispers back to Em* If he wants to learn the hard way, it's his choice.
Hi again Zath.
WB Zath!
*shrugs*
I don't mind mixing with mortals
Hey Mist
Nothing much. A mortal walked into Blogland and a werewolf slamed him into a tree
Sounds like the begining of a bad joke
Okay I want either a light machine gun or an assault rifle preferably ak47
That it does Nix
Sorry for poofing. Again.
I was trying to decide which SP book to buy as my 40th...
Ended up buying a Battle Pack;D
I can get you a light machine gun. Out of AK47s
Oh yeah, Nix?
I'd like to trade in my daggers for knives.
Or, I could do something else for you. Whatever works.
Daggers for knifes?
Done
hi again L!
I got the Battle Pack the other day
Okay, do you know when they'd be back in stock?
Nice Luce.
Hmm... Does Paranoia sound like a good name for a half German, half Russian suprvillain?
Give it a month Eden
I've got them in demand
Dinner
Bye!
Bye Nix.
Okay, then maybe I'll go for m16s please preferably ten with scopes
Bye Nix.
Actually...
I'll keep the daggers. What else do you want from me? I can do favors of you want.
Bye, Nix!
Um... I have some Brens, Eden if you want them.
They are the most versatile and light guns ever used during WWII.
And can be semi automatic or fully automatic: When on fully automatic, it can empty a cartridge in 3.2 seconds and you can change in 4 seconds.
The Brens start at a value of 15,000 normally.
bye Nix!
We'll talk business later Nix.
*growls as I sit beside Lynx*
Are you serious??
That's how they agreed to teach him? He's arming them??
*shakes head* Boys and their toys...
Hmm, Chase do you mostly deal in 70 year old weapons and if so do you have any mosin nagants?
*laughs and joins Lynxia and Em in the tree*
Cool it Em, if he can't handle it he'll get out., Give him time. You never know, he could be really good. Necromancer's aren't too bad. I could help teach him if you want when I'm on.
I'd give about 5,000 each and I want ten, mostly for hunting some for fun.
I'm already helping him. It'll be fine, Em.
Necromancy isn't even that bad.
*laughs at Eden*
You young fellas and your modern equipment.
I deal with the old war stuff because it was effective, never jammed and had killed more people than anyone imagined.
Simple usage and efficent loading and reloading which saves a lot of time and effort.
Yeah, it's cool and he' ll have to think of what he's going to put his magic
Well come on then oh wonderful teachers.
Teach.
*folds arms*
Dinner, bye!
*shakes head* Where's the satisfaction in killing someone from a long range. I only do it when I have to. I like to see that fear in their eyes and then watch as they cloud over...
I know mosin nagants please 5 grand each.
bye Zath!
*looks at Lynxia*
You heard Em, teach
Bye Zath!
I guess school's out for today, Em.
Bye, Zath!
*pushes Missy from the tree* I suggested and Zath said he had it covered.
Hello! I seem to be back, my body hurts and Judihpur liked being out! I want to be free!
*Slams head against a tree*
*pokes Lynx*
You said you were going to teach him too Ms. Lost.
*shadow walks back into tree*
but Zath just left
Yeah, today is like the first day in a new school you get to know the teachers.
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