Ladies and gentlemen...
"The Butterfly and the Wolf" is now available to read on the home page of skulduggerypleasant.com.
Consume.
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About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
4,840 comments:
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what is up?
Hi Izz!
Hi Izz!
Hey Val. Hey Sparky.
I was wondering.
Have any of you guys ever had a penguin on Club Penguin?
Hi Izz!
I've heard of it, but never had a penguin on there. I had lots and lots of webkinz, though.
Hey Nix.
Have to make a movie now, byyyyyyyyeeee!
Bye Val!
I got a penguin years ago. Then I got sick of paying the membership.
Bye Val.
brb
Kay.
Hye Izz, can I expect to see you on the 16th next month?
HI PEOPLE!!!
Hi Star!
I hope so. I really hope so.
Probably. If I can convince my parents it's absolutely necessary.
Yes.
It is necessary!
DEREK!
Remember my name!
Hey Star.
I'm thinking I should buy Derek a souvenir...
What do you think?
THAT WAY!!!
*laughs* Nix, can the birdsrabbitsfoxesetc. be mutated and/or crazy?
YOU SHOULDDDDDD.
Then he'll merember you.
Crazzy, yes. But not mutated
I gotta go. My dad is demanding the computer.
*english accent*
Toodle-oo!
Okay. Reckoned not mutated.
I can't write it today as I'm going to Birmingham from 9 am - 8 pm but I'll have a crack at it tomorrow. Or after Birmingham today.
Bye Izz!
Dang it, our English video is so rudely stereotypical... But we know that's nothing like English people, so I think we're fine. And it's so FUNNY...
Fours Izz!
*frowns* I have an English accent.
I absolutely LOVE English accents, Star. I think they're wonderful.
*is a hater of stereotypes* Meh, so long as you realise how idiotic the British really are Val, I won't moan at you this time.
*blinks* Do you? Thanks.
We know it isn't anything like what English people are really like. We just had drank a lot of tea with caffeine in it, so...
*blurs behind Val and pushes her down a set of stairs*
I can't believe how long I've had my profile pic. This is probably some kind of record, for me.
*is a hater of the sterotypes that all Australians live in the desert, patting Kangaroos and wearing those stupid hats*
I SAW AN ADD FOR TOURIST COMING TO AUSTRALIA THAT HAD A LITTLE GIRL PATTING A KANGAROO
ONE- NO
TWO- YOU DO THAT, AND THEY'LL KICK YOU UNTIL YOU'RE BLEEDING
THREE- EVEN AUSTRALIANS ARE BEING STEROTYPICAL NOW
Hi Sparky!
Darn it, not another said of stairs
*set, not said
*catches her at the bottom and tosses her into the lake*
*laughs evilly*
I'm sorry!
I had to!
Hayl put me up to it!
And of course the lake comes next.
Is this for saying I was being stereotypical? Because it wasn't my idea.
FIRST PLEASE.
What? Hayley told you to? Where's she? *looks around*
BOOYAH.
Now back to writing.
*laughs*
I don't think that, Nix! The word Australia brings into my mind a map of Australia; a map of the world showing Australia; you, Eve, Zath, Sparky; yellowishness (don't ask . . . ); SUNNY WEATHER; a few images of trees and beaches I got off TV when it was showing Australia; a few people I have met irl who live in Australia; and red-backed spiders.
Add 'the word Australia' to that list.
Plus 'Aledaide Melbourne Sydney and Canberra'.
. . . Silence . . .
Course, now I've written that somebody'll've comment.
Oh, no, they haverent. Well, THAT proved my theory wrong.
ASFBIKNAfvbuiawhkgvafhsgvbkisuydcfnxhcnajvgbnhsmbvgcnhdsmxnbcvjceyvj,kmdvj h
I had to say something.
*commented
*i refusing to comment because someone expects me to when I have to obligation*
You did.
*IS REFUSING*
I DEDICATE THIS PAGE TO TOBY TURNER!!!
To which I am singing now.
Hey Nix, how are you?
*looks at Nix* COMMENT!!!
*wants to answer*
I'm doing this not because of you Star
*pushes Star in lake*
I doing pretty badly, to be honest
You?
Excellent, actually.
Can I help?
No, I don't think so... I dunno
*raises eyebrows at Nix's rage* Why can't we all just laugh at the stereotypes?
I just askedy dad if we could get a hedgehog. He told me hedgehogs used to be in his backyard (this was in NZ mind you) all the time and they were really cute but carried disease like rats
:( no hedgehogs.
Well, feel free to e-mail me or something.
Because nearly every day I egt racist talk flying at me from school, most of those include sterotypes
Thanks Sparky
*makes mental note to never say that again*
Just to make it clear, I'm not a stereotypical person by any means. I get extremely angry at everyone the instant they say anything rude about another country, particularly Australia, Ireland, and the UK.
*gets spluttering out of the lake* Hi Eve! My phone told me there were no new comments when there were:(
We used to have a hedgehog in our back garden. It was sweet.
Although, if they say something rude about America, that's a whole different story...
I hate stereotypes. I believe I have ready ranted on here a number of times about how I am not posh.
I don't even know what posh means, so...
My dad said he'd pick them up and they'd curl into a ball
*adorable overload*
I'M BATMAN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaM_tYWBdyU&feature=related
Posh
Adjective:
Elegant or stylishly luxurious.
*fights urge to through everyone into the lake*
Should I?
Well, you spelled throw wrong, so... *throws Sparky in the lake*
You mean throw?
Well
*pushes Sparky in the lake*
*pushes Eve in the lake*
*pushes Val in the lake*
*pushes Star back in the lake*
*skips away from Sparky and leaves a trail of cashew nuts*
*follows behind Eve, eating the cashews*
*ashtonishment . . . YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT POSH MEANS???
Ermmm . . .
Well, one example could be, like, private-school people, because they go to this special school that only smart people can go to, whereas other people just go to ordinary schools. Another example is someone who talks posh . . . Er, talks more . . . Better than the others. As in, they say 'evidentally', like one of the girls in my Art class was doing; then she had to.explain what it meant:). Also, people who, like, live in a big house . . .
So basically annoying people who are apparently 'better' than everyone else?
*turns the lake to ink, making the inky water comes up behind Nix and pushing him in the lake;)*
....I go to a private school...
*munches on cashew*
*is mysteriously on dry land*
*looks at examples* Only better in certain ways though. I mean, if someone was better at football, you wouldn't call them posh, would you?
. . . I guess, to put it in old-fashioned terms, posh means slightly (or not-so-slightly) upper class.
*splutters*
I suppose I deserved that.
Oh well.
*does some backstroke*
*splutters*
Star, remember last time we fought?
*gets out and pushes Star in the lake again*
Stay down
I go to a private school as well
*sinks to bottom of inky lake*
I am down.
Don't drown
....
*munch*
*sends charge of electricity though lake*
*swims out and blurs around*
*shrugs underwater* Well, if someone came to my school from a private school, I would think they were poshish. Posh is a stereotypical adjective. Don't take offence.
And now, I'm going to have breakfast, so bbs. *swims away*
Bye Star!
*frowns* And yet you hate stereotypes...
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Bye Star!
Well, this is the last chance for a while for anyone to read anything of mine
So... hm... what to write...
*gets electrocuted*
*comes up out of the water*
OW! *gives Sparky the evil look that causes people in real life to shudder*
*giggles and dives*
*rolls eyes at Sparky and laughs* *jumps in after her*
Back!
*appears right in front of Val*
BOO!
Hi Star!
brb
Nix, how do we write our team names if we don't have teams?
*shrieks in surprise and runs off*
Hi Starrrio!
*sighs* I WAS EXPLAINING WHAT PEOPLE STEREOTYPE. I WAS GIVING YOU A NEUTRAL, UNBIASED VIEW. I NEVER SAID I AGREED WITH IT. SEE, THIS IS WHY I HATE THE WORD POSH. BECAUSE IT STEREOTYPES. LIKE UP THERE. *points*
Eve, there are no teams yet. I said write the team name if it's a team challenge
Hmm. The cqpitals made me look angry. I wasn't.
*laughs and chokes on some water*
I'm proof watching this video and at one point my sisters walk off to check the camera and they walk back thirty seconds later and I start clapping and saying "YAY! FRIENDS! I.. I was so scared! I thought I was going to have to sing a song about it! Thank goodness THAT moment passed!"
Hello? People? What should I write?
Write a story about Ivy getting trapped in a horrible place full of nice things and pink stuff. I think it would make her freak out. It would certainly make ME freak out...
Uh, I don't really have time to start a new story. Besides, I can never get Ivy right
Er, that story what had Simon in it.
She's easy to get right. An awesome, terrifying murderer who finds odd things funny and is ridiculously frightened of small children.
Elements?
Yes, Star, but you said you would think someone from a private school was posh if they came to your school. YOU SAID IT! NOT MARSHMALLOWS! YOU!
And Nix, first person or third person?
Either Eve
. . . Poshish, yeah, I would, a bit. We all stereotype. I admit it.
So, wait, you're a little sterotypical, and suddenly we're all sterotypicial
Joking, but seriously, that's slightly sterotypical
I mean, if I didn't know them and they came new to our school . . . All I'd have to judge them on is their previous school and their name, wouldn't I? And, after I'd seen them, their appearance. Yeah. I stereotype. We all do. That doesn't mean I like it. Even people who care about our planet use lightbulbs.
Yeah. Yeah, it is. You have every right to be annoyed at me.
I use enviroemntally friendly lightbulbs
I don't get that annoyed when I'm feeling as content as this
Still using lightbulbs.
*swears* Why does River Song have to use up all of her regenerations? WHY? IT RUINED MY BRILLIANT PLANS!
*looks at Nix* Yeah, but not everyone does.
You can argue with me if you like, but I'm on your side anyway, so . . .
Yeah.
*sighs*
Be annoyed at me. I probably deserve it. *sinks to bottom of lake*
Calm down Star
Wbd.
Sorry I was being so confronting anyway. I don't mind being called posh as long as it's not an accusation :P
I'm not sure which is the joke, but the Third Doctor once said that a Time Lord could only regenerate twelve times.
The Tenth Doctor said 506 times.
One was a joke.
I just can't remember which...
At a guess I'd say the second one
Nooooooooo Star don't do that *throws snorkels at her*
Well River used all of hers to bring back the Doctor so my plans have been ruined... *runs off and sobs in the corner, petting the Derek-lizard*
The Time Lord can regenerate how many TIMES it wants, it's the TIME LORD
But a Time Lord said so.
I don't actually know what a Time Lord is
Sparky.
Rule One. The Doctor lies.
You...
Oh Eve....
He didn't use to.
The Eleventh Doctor lies.
Each Doctor is a different person, remember that Val.
A Time Lord is a person from Gallifrey, and they can regenerate into a new person - new appearance, somewhat new personality - and they can steal a TARDIS...
You lost me at Gallifrey
Well, they're still all the same Doctor, aren't they? Besides, I'm sure I can think of times the 10th Doctor lies.
Doesn't he say that he'll let Donna stay with him in the TARDIS? Because if he did that's a total lie; he wipes her memory.
Gallifrey is my home planet...
*shouts*
DOCTOR, THERE'S A TIME LORD RIGHT HERE! IT'S MEEEEEEE! LOOK AT YOUR PSYCHIC PAPER, DOCTOR! IT MIGHT COME UP AS A MESSAGE!
My brilliant plan was so very brilliant until I learned that River couldn't regenerate... Since she gets to be married to the Doctor, I was going to tie her up and leave her in a basement while I pretended to be a regenerated version of River, therefore I could be married to the Doctor...
But nooooooooooo, she just had to use up ALL of her regenerations in one go. *sulks*
*pushes Sparky down the stairs* *laughs and runs away*
Sorry are we talking about Doctor Who!? YAYAYAYAYAYAY!But maybe now the Doctor can regenerate more than 12 times Val.
Hey Helena
But River is still married to him and I'm not :'(
You lost me at psychic paper
*tumbles down stairs and hits the ground*
*groans*
Val, I think you just broke my wrist...
Hey Nix, all. I apologised for my outburst on my blog.
Hi Helena!
I KNOW VAL! But Sherlock's still single. Although he is married to his work.
Hi Em...
Let me see, Sparky... *examines her wrist*
Yeah, it's broken. But this'll take your mind off it.
*bites her wrist and runs off*
Hey Sparky! Why the ...?
You also tried to make me feel bad
*cries out*
VALKYRIE, YOU GET YOUR AS BACK HERE NOW!!!!!
*ASS
No Nix. I spoke the truth. You don't have to start encouraging me but just don't be so annoying. If that's possible...
Yeah, but Sherlock isn't the Doctor... my friend handed me a notebook and told me to write something so I wrote a story about how I had to rescue her from having to marry Edward from Twilight and I ran in, with my husband The Doctor and then Rory's face appeared and we all screamed "NOSE!" and I was being charged for the murder of River Song...
*cradling arm*
If anyone cares, could someone please help me...
*looks down at Sparky from the vent in the ceiling*
Hmm... How about I just, you know, don't come back there?
*runs off*
*wacks Val and takes Sparky's hand back*
*gives hand to Sparky*
I'm not sure what to do with this...
Broken wrist...
Help...
Anyone?
Oh yeah, and that bite would hurt. I bit Zoe and she screamed because apparently, I have vampire teeth... *smiles and runs off again*
What are you on about Nixion?
Sparky! *runs to help* True Val.
Uh... I didn't take her hand off, I bit her wrist...
Seriously Helena? You're calling me annoying? You've told me that several times you've tried to annoy me on purpose. Now, when all I say is Nix wouldn't take orders, you bite me head off, telling me to shut up, telling me what my character will and wil not do, and telling me you're going to kill my character off.
You may not believe this, but sometimes Helena, you can hurt my feelings. That's right, I actually have feelings. Not that most people care, but whatever.
You said bite her wrist off, so I thought...
No, I said I bit her wrist and ran off.
Sorry, I'm having trouble reading... sorry
Thanks Em...
*still cradling wrist*
Nix, nice speech, but that last sentence that keeps popping up in comments isn't as effective as you might think. Not that anyone cares, but whatever. @_@
Sparky, would you like me to turn your liver into a unicorn again??
It keeps popping up in comments? I didn't know
No thank you Eve...
*puts Sparky in a big, poofy pink dress*
I might die for this, but it's worth it.
*takes multiple pictures on cell phone and runs*
Oh, it does. People say something and then they doubt that anyone cares.
SO WHY DO THEY PUBLISH THE COMMENT THEN???? *makes origami and gives a crane to Nix*
No, I was saying I don't think people care about me feelings, not the comment
*hides*
*snarls, hold out good hand and a stream of electricity leaps from my palm to Val's cellphone, making it explode*
*grits teeth*
I'm not finished.
*shocks her hard and then snaps fingers, turning my clothes back to my normal jeans and shirt*
*is practically dead, but laughs anyway*
Hehehehe... Photographic memory.
Don't murder me, but I had a sketch pad right next to me and I drew a very angry Sparky in a dress, me hiding in a cloud and laughing, and Nix in the corner looking confused... All stick figures, though. XD
Well Nix, I'm terribly sorry and I would give you all my possessions to apologise apart from the fact that they're mine. I totally agree Eve. Nix, I care. Done, I said it. It's true though. I told you that when I first met you. Also, you're always complaining about family troubles and I try to help but I can't. Not really. Now I have them. So sorry if I'm turning into you.
Just...
Someone fix my wrist...
And stop fighting...
Please?
Oh. Right.
*touches Sparky's wrist and it heals because of epic Ivy powers*
I probably should've done that earlier...
I'm always complaining?
Sorry if you're turning into me?
...wtf?
Sparky, you've got brown hair, right? I need to know for my picture...
*bandages Sparky's wrist*
*smiles as the swelling goes down, stands up and punches Val in the face (like Hulk did to Thor in the Avengers) making her stumble back*
You might not realise Nix but you really are or used to be. Haven't been on in a while...
Yep, brown.
Hope you have a nice case of punch to the face syndrome.
Wow... is it possible for you to apologise without blaming me, or insulting me?
Very well...
*starts sewing Sparky's wrist to her other wrist*
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