...it has just been pointed out that maybe the important post, the COMPETITION post, may be slightly overlooked because it is no longer the "new" post. So I'm just posting again to make sure that you read the one below the one below this.
Oh dear God I've just overcomplicated a simple situation, haven't I?
Anyway, READ ALL BLOG ENTRIES, DAMMIT!
Posts
About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
4,812 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 801 – 1000 of 4812 Newer› Newest»How am I? Er, actually, I don't really know. I'm irritated with my hair, if that's something, because it refuses to obey me, but aside from that, I'm fine.
Ha hate it when my hair will not comply with instructions no matter if you burn it.
Have you tried threatening your hair? It worked with mine, or was that my dream...
Well, despite how incredibly girly this sounds, I was trying to curl it. And unlike most of the pictures people have seen of myself, my hair's actually really wavy and tousled and stuff, so curling it never works and it makes me angry after trying to do something with it for 10 minutes. So I give up.
And off of that subject...
UNICORN TURD.
loool thats what u get for being a girrrrllll :P
mmmmmm unicorn turd...
tbh though, i prefare hyena turd. it has a nicer texture to it, along with a bit of sweet that completes the package
And being a girl also means we get to persuade guys into doing what we want... *smirks, but not in a rude way*
Why don't you straighten it first then wait, then curl it. My sister has hair like travis mccoy and that's what she does to make it normal
Val is correct...
I don't have any patience, and then I can't reach the back of my head, and then I get irritated with myself... So, really, I kind of just gave up.
cant persuade me, i hv a will of IRON
Or do you?
i do
hehe
WILL-OF-IRON
It's funny, though, because it seems like guys can't persuade girls. In orchestra class some guy literally jumped on top of me because I wouldn't give in when he kept asking for my can of frosting. And, even when he did that, I still didn't give in.
girls cant persuade guys
unless u hv a particular proffesion and u work for a particular type of man
ahem
Yeah we can. Or I can, at least, but thst might be because they're scared I'll get angry if they don't do something. And, apparently, everyone is really scared of me when I get angry.
VOLDEMORT'S NIPPLE!!! (Hehe... Harry Potter Puppet Pals wizard swear XD )
oh yh lol i've seen that. u can't persuade me though because I have -you guessed it- A WILL OF IRON!
Ok, fine, I get it, you, unlike most guys, are unpersuadible (that is now a word).
I'm going now bye.
WHOO!! UNPERSUADIBLE.
You know why?? do you know why?? you dont know do you? its because
becausee...
becauseee...
.......
..........
.........
.......
.
............
.....
.......
.......
im a girl.
.........
......
.......
......
just kidding I HAVE A WILL OF IRON!
Bye robin!
Bye Robin!
*goes back to messing with stuff in the kitchen* Dang it, I forget how to make a freaking cup of tea...
YES! I REMEMBERED HOW TO!
And I have an awesome mug with Skulduggery stuff printed on it to drink my tea in. *nods, pleased with myself*
Hmmm... I have to leave pretty soon...
Why isn't anyone here?! Even Sparky's gone!
I have to go now. Night guys!
Val? I'm here now!
Ugh! You just got here and I have to go! I wish I could be on longer! Bye!
Thats okay!
Is anyone here???
anyone still on?
I JUST FINISHED MY FANFIC, GO AND READ IT ON MY BLOG!!! And I must go.
omg azzy i have been waiting nearly all day to post first and u have posted first twice in a row XD
lol
and ye im back!
good luck having a new sibling i got a new one a while ago hes called jack and he was to this year. they grow up so fast and hey again humma thx for saying my name is cool (if it was to me that was aimed at)
hello? anyone there i don't want to be alone!
*cries* hello? anyone? *sighs*
I should just keep talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking AND talking cause no one will talk to me back, hey! do you think if i talk to myself all night i will be able to comment first on next page? no...but i will sure try! lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol im sad and i have no life... *shakes head sadly*
You have no life?
oh hello the other tanith...just call me gemma so there is no confusion here and i just said that cause i was bored and humma i asked u WHERE in the UK do U live, NOT u live in the UK lol
It's awesome I'm gonna do one on mine cause urs is awesome
INSPARARTION
emmm...hello again silver u just kinda poped in XD
hey im gonna go now bye!
i hope i comment first in the morning i will sure try!
cya everyone *hugs* bye!
Hello?
anyone on
well when somebody comes on please read this and comment any critsim is welcome but not to harsh
http://amelie-espirt.blogspot.com/ not realted to skulduggery in any way
Hello?
Again?
Hello?
Did Derek post again while I wasn't looking?
Konnichiwa!
Genki desu-ka?
To those I don't know...
Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Mary-desu. Yokoshiru onegai shimasu.
...I'm bored, clearly...
UGH NOT JAPANESE!!! I dropped that a year ago.
...Soooooooooo...
I can do a few accents. Irish being the easiest, then English, Australian, Russian, Scottish, and then French.
Irish, then being my best. My parents get a kick out of it and have me do the accent when their friends come over. 'Tis annoying but this isn't the focal point of the story. What is, is that my mother wants me to talk to my Aunt's room mate, who just happens to be an Irish man. And she wants me to talk to him in MY Irish accent.
That, I can assure you, will not be happening, because that would be five different shades of awkwardness.
Sounds like it would be.
My Russian accent is pretty damn good. I do it randomly from time to time. Then my Irish one, and the my Welsh one.
I only do my English one with really close friends because it sucks.
And I am Australian.
I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full rights to take this character and adapt it into his brain-explodingly brilliant work.
Sparky Braginski!
Magic- Sparky (ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![Once again, can't stress that enough]!!!!!!!!!!!!) can make electricity stream out of her fingers, she can make it crackle around her hands so that when she punches someone they get electrocuted, if she claps a powerful shockwave throws everything in every direction off their feet but often hurts Sparky(ME!!!) more than the enemy, can make fireworks to distract the dumber opponents such as zombies, can make electricity run through her(MY) bloodstream making her run faster, when she is aggravated in a large crowd of people she can punch the ground sending a ripple of energy in every direction sending everyone except Sparky herself(ME) flying off their feet, if she splays her hands a weak wave of electricity can jumble brainwaves and send people into confusion she loves doing this in crowded shopping centres during Christmas season for some unknown reason, and the ability to manipulate people.
Appearance- Same 3/4 length jacket as Val's first one, cargo pants, t-shirt colours always red or green or black. Long straight brown hair. Freckles. Freakishly pale skin. Short. Hazel eyes.
Background- Has known about herself being magic at a young age, but unable to find anyone else with magic has trained herself. Was always interested in electricity, thus using that interest to her advantage and very recently (with Fletcher Renn's help) gotten into LOTS of trouble. Entailing, she's been kidnapped four times. Even though she is VERY Australian, she has a Russian/Irish accent with hints of English and Welsh.
Behaviour- Gets angry easily, but takes a lot to make her show it. She is normally good-natured, but can fly into a rage at a moments notice if you aren't paying attention. Often has excellent ideas. (Cause She is me) Never gives in ever. Will always bring something up at the worst times.
Wears a belt, with Makhaira hanging quite obviously from her waist.
Sparky is thirteen, as mentioned in the story. That is all.
Also Sparky (being me, can't remind you of that enough times) has...
Well, y'know FEARS...
Deathly afraid of spiders and *hides head in shame* being *mumbles something*
Everyone else: What?
Being tickled, okay? It renders Sparky (me) completely useless and that scares her(ME) more than anything else in the world. Really.
*runs into near by nursery and takes as many shrubs as possible*
Shop Owner: You can't take those.
Sparky(me!): Oh uh... *looks into shop owners eyes* You are letting me take these so that I can give them to the worlds most honourable cause. Making Derek-The-Golden-God-Landy love me and use Sparky(ME!) as a character.
S.O: KK.
When wet Sparky (ME) has a tendency to shock herself out of lack of control. When she (ME) is wet she can't touch anything because she shocks it by accident, and turning any electrical appliance on while she(ME) is wet makes all the plugs/power points in the room blow up. Sparky (once again ME. THAT IS ME.) swears only when she does something incredibly stupid. Sparky (MEMEMEMEMEME) always has her hair tied up. It varies as to how, but her hair is ALWAYS tied up. She has uncannily good balance naturally. Another thing is that Sparky (Who is me, as I be she and we be each other) is always twitching or fiddling with something. Speaking of explosions, Sparky (me) makes pebbles explode when she's bored. I also keep forgetting about this crucial part of my appearance. Sparky(me) is ALWAYS wearing a scarf. Always. It changes colours, styles and patterns, but she(ME) is ALWAYS wearing a scarf. She(I) wears one to bed, to meals, to the theatre. She never takes them off.
I'm still Canadian. So I suppose that I have an American accent by default.
oh hello! *hugs*
and mary! hi! I don't actually know you, but kal said nice things about you once so hi!
Oh! I can also do a German accent as well. That one is pretty good.
Yo, Lego! How goes it?
I finished my fanfic. It's on my blog.
...
It actually wouldn't take much effort to find it on the second page of the comp blog post because I've posted it there twice...
My German one's okay, I guess...
Actually, upon thought, it's really bad.
I'm okie. I told someone I found randomly on the internet how much I loved them, and they gave me a heart! this made me unreasonably happy.
and fanfic yay. will look at it now. :)
hey anyone on
Hello Lego!
That comment just reminded me of a Red vs. Blue moment.
It went something like:
*Caboose and Sarge standing under the window of a military base*
Sarge: Hey Caboose! Come give me a boost.
Caboose: Okay! You are a really good person and people say nice things about you.
Sarge: Not a morality boost...
hahaha thats funny what are we talking about
*...made me think...
Lol.
^^ also, I remind people of anime? YAY!
whats everyone doing
@lego, did you read it?
Oh, by the way Sparky, I read your fanfic yesterday. I daresay. 'twas well done.
It wasn't finished yesterday, but THANKS ANYWAY!
*blushes*
That's the first non-assigned story I've ever finished!
who here likes lady gaga
*mumbles to self: "I like this Mary person..."*
NOT ME.
okie, finished. though not sure why you wanted me to, I really kind of suck at critiques. I liked it. you can write. :)
someone should read mine its not finished but you should
I'm not too big a fan of Lady Gaga myself.
Yay!
*approves of Lego's response*
Some people can't write. For them, life must suck. I am not on of those sad people.
That is proved by the mark I've gotten for every fiction story I've ever had graded.
*giggles*
There's an alternate ending to my fanfic that no one other than me, and my close-knit friends will ever read.
*laughs evilly*
hmm. If I had to pick a pop person, I think it would be her. I like how she's public about support lgtb people/teens, and she's quite pretty. Though I really don't like her music or voice. so iono.
*groans*
UGH. Stupid puberty. I have a white-head on my upper lip and it really HURTS.
That sentence of mine didn't sound right...This is what happens when you get 6 hours of sleep every night...
Eh, Lagy Gaga is alright. She's unique, I'll give her that.
(>^.^)>Kimber<(^.^<)
Heya Kim!
so will you read my story please
Hiya Sparky! And Mary! And Lego!
And Amelie!
Kim I finished the fanfic.
hey hey hey people
Alrighty. I'll read it. I have no application to worry about, no piano recital to worry about, so I'm so relaxed! :3
My favourite song (currently) is Dustland Fairytale by The Killers. Here are the lyrics:
A Dustland fairytale beginning
Or just another white trash county kiss
In '61, long brown hair and foolish eyes
He looked just like you'd want him to
Some kind of slick chrome American Prince
A blue jean serenade and moon river, what you do to me
And I don't believe you
Saw Cinderella in a party dress
But she was looking for a nightgown
I saw the devil wrapping up his hands
He's getting ready for the showdown
I saw the minute that I turned away
I got my money on a palm tonight
Change came in disguise of revelation, set his soul on fire
She says she always knew he'd come around
And the decades disappear like sinking ships
But we persevere, God gives us hope
But we still fear what we don't know
The mind is poison
Castles in the sky sit stranded, vandalized
A drawbridge is closin'
Saw Cinderella in a party dress
But she was looking for a nightgown
I saw the devil wrapping up his hands
He's getting ready for the showdown
I saw the ending when they turned the page
I took my money and I ran away
Straight to the valley of the great divide
Out where the dreams are high
Out where the wind don't blow
Out here, the good girls die
And the sky won't snow
Out here the birds don't sing
Out here the fields don't grow
Out here the bell don't ring
Out here the bell don't ring
Out here the good girls die
Now Cinderella, don't you go to sleep
It's such a bitter form of refuge
Oh, don't you know, the kingdom's under siege
And everybody needs you
Is there still magic in the midnight sun
Or did you leave it back in '61?
In the cadence of a young man's eyes
I wouldn't dream so high
Speaking of songs...
I've been listening to the same two songs for the last twenty minutes.
the link to my story is a little further up the page
I've been listening to the same song on repeat all day...and I'm still obsessive about it. =p
what song lego
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dysG12QCdTA
GAY PIRATESSS!
how many of yous are aussie
I am.
have you heard of reece mastin
Yes. Actually heard him sing? No. Do I want to? No.
aw do you not like him
Some of my favourite singers/bands/etc. are:
-Kamelot
-The Killers
-Poets of the Fall
-Evanesence
-Tom Lehrer
-Uematsu Nobuo
-Super Junior (Just because)
-Vic Mignogna
-Kay Kyser
-Kurt Nilsen
-Lesley Gore
-Keane
-Journey
-Josh Broden
-Jimmy Soul
-Bob Marley
-Nightwish
-Michael Buble
-Imogen Heap
-Gorillaz
-Adam Lambert
-Epica
-Eminem
-Elvis
-Elton John
-Ella Fitzgerald
-The Inknspots
-Don McLean
-Death Cab For Cutie
-Dean Martin
-Caravan Palace
-The Blues Brothers
-Aerosmith
etc...
i like some of them but others i have never heard of i like panic!at the disco pink jessica mauboy reece mastin so on and so forth
TOM LEHRER WOO!!!
...Like Hans Zimmer...
so much love for death cab for cutie. especially a lack of color. that always makes me cry for some reason.
and i will follow you into the dark, but I don't think people exist who don't like that song.
doesnt he sing the elments song
she paints her fingers with a close presision
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen, and rhenium,
And nickel, neodynium, neptunium, germanium,
An iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europrium, zirconium, latacium, vanadium,
And Lanthanum, and osmium, and astatine, and radium,
And gold, proctactinium, and indium, and gallium,
And iodine, and thorium, and thulium, and thallium.
There's yttrium, ytterbium, yrridium, rubidium...
That's all I have memorized of the Elements song.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Wow.
Daniel Radcliffe can do the whole thing.
Please excuse spelling errors...They are words not used in everyday life. And I THINK that that was the correct order of it...
I know he can. I saw him do it.
I can't do it yet, but by the Au God I will.
Wait...Do Australians pronounce aluminum as a-loo-min-e-um.
actinium goes inbetweenyrridium and rubidium. but otherwise, I am quite impressed.
I can do the first verse of 'New Math'. With all of the comedy. XD.
ghaa...apologies for the declining spelling. *in between yrridium.
I also like some of the songs by Hank Green.
The song Strange Charm for instance is awesome. It's about quarks, which are fundamental constituants of matter, that were observed in 1968 through deep elastic scatter.
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! val
Hi Kienan....
Everyone who is on, this is my cousin Kienan! WARNING: Kienan is related to me. BE WARY!
ughhhhhh sombody respond *kicks a dead persons body*
Time for some Kuroshitsuji quotes:
-“That’s not wrong… you fought to protect your world. Isn’t that good enough? No one really thinks of others, you will lose everything if you can’t keep up. After all, justice in this world is just a bunch of principles made by those with power to suit themselves. Only two kinds of people exist in this world: those who steal…and those who are stolen from. So then, today I just stole your future.That’s all” — Ciel Phantomhive
...
Eww...
Val V relative...
More insane than her. Ugh.
KAL!!!
*glomps*
CHECK MY BLOG!!!!
Please.
SPARKY ARE YOU HERE?!
I must also assume that Val V has checked her e-mail.
I'm one of the thieves heheheehehehehhehehehehehehe
Yes. I am.
WARNING i don't know how to spell
Good.
And how about you Miss Pendragon? Fairing well, I hope.
You'd be surprised at how different we are...
AND KIENAN I'M OLDER THAN YOU! HAHAHAHA!
I'll be right back, Sparky orders me to check my email... Be sure to annoy Kienan!
shut up i'll summon caelan from the dead
Great!
Okay. Me, Kal and Val V? THIS IS A PARTY!!!
Vodka anyone?
-"No. I won't abandon hate. If I do, nothing would be left of me."
Ciel Phantomhive
-"Something once lost will never return."
Ciel Phantomhive (Black Butler)
So I've been told to annoy Kienan...
Not hard. You have a short kinda name y'know? I'd be surprised if I ever met a tall Kienan to be honest.
Dude. I'm just kidding.
Vodka. Vodka or nothing.
don't mess with me ill send Darquesse on you
I'm not a piece of mail.
Just. Kidding.
But, really
a) Why would I be scared of a kid as short as you?
and
b) And why would Darquesse respond to a kid as short as you?
Once again, just kidding.
What did you think Val V?
I think it's awesome.
ya know i'm taller than val
A & B?
-"I'll not stop moving forward. I'll not regret a single step I have taken. That's why...I order you...Do not betray me! And do not leave my side! No matter what." Ciel Phantomhive
- "If it's your wish, I will follow you everywhere, even if your throne crumbles, and your shiny crown turns to rust, even if the bodies pile up endlessly, above the bottomless pile of corpses. Beside you as you lie softly down, I will be until I hear the words "Checkmate"." Sebastian Michaelis
*glances at Sparky* Don't listen to Kienan about the height thing, even if it's, very sadly, true.
you have a lot of quotse
*hesitates*
...
Oops...
Kuroshitsuji!
KIENAN I HAVE MORE AUTHORITY DO AS I SAY!
Now go lick Caelan's butthole.
@Val V, Version A AND B?
I don't know anymore.
you know you have a secret love for him i herd you in the bathroom singing to him
'EAT LEAD YOU POTATO-SUCKING BASTARD!'
See? I have quotes to!
Where'd Kal go?
Kienan, you are in the same freaking room as I am, and I'm stronger, smarter, more clever, and will slap you. DO. NOT. SAY. THINGS. LIKE. THAT.
*worried*
*laughing*
Gahaha.
Hey Kienan? Come over to where I'm sitting when you see this comment.
THE SPARROW FLIES SOUTH FOR WINTER.
YOU GUYS ARE DOWNERS!!!
that's a very nice everything you have there it be a shame if something happen to it. He he he. Yay quotes
More Vodka.
otwy4luag zjdu pnosaQU7LIUVhkyqu289hgo2 vqiO#W$IN7;8L
I,UWAT )BQEVJU
Ciel: "The targeted bird. The rest of my soul is yours."
Sebastian: "As expected from the young master, you are as kind as ever."
Ciel: "Will it hurt?"
Sebastian: "Yes, a little. But I'll keep it as gentle as possible."
Ciel: "No. Make it as painful as you can. Carve the pain of my life into my soul."
Kienan, get over here.
KEYBOARD SPASM!!!
1st!
1st
...Sebastian: "As you wish, my Lord."
OH YES!!!
*victory dance*
Yep, uh-huh, I rock.
Glados: how are you doing \ i'm a potato
*looks at annoyed Val V*
Teehee.
'DIE POTATO.'
Potato quotes!
DAM \ BUTON
*smacks Sparky*
Kienan, get over here or I'll go to you. THE SPARROW FLIES SOUTH FOR WINTER.
ya right
Potato: "Not today." *Pulls out gun*
- "Humans are so interesting, did you know in a world so full of wonder, they have managed to invent boredom?" - DEATH
Hehe. I physically slapped Kienan multiple times.
*high-fives Mary*
ASDF!!!!
'I am a Stego-saurus!'
"NO LLAMA NO!" XD
I dedicate this page to the nest comments. Please, no one interrupt.
I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full rights to take this character and adapt it into his brain-explodingly brilliant work.
Sparky Braginski!
Magic- Sparky (ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![Once again, can't stress that enough]!!!!!!!!!!!!) can make electricity stream out of her fingers, she can make it crackle around her hands so that when she punches someone they get electrocuted, if she claps a powerful shockwave throws everything in every direction off their feet but often hurts Sparky(ME!!!) more than the enemy, can make fireworks to distract the dumber opponents such as zombies, can make electricity run through her(MY) bloodstream making her run faster, when she is aggravated in a large crowd of people she can punch the ground sending a ripple of energy in every direction sending everyone except Sparky herself(ME) flying off their feet, if she splays her hands a weak wave of electricity can jumble brainwaves and send people into confusion she loves doing this in crowded shopping centres during Christmas season for some unknown reason, and the ability to manipulate people.
Appearance- Same 3/4 length jacket as Val's first one, cargo pants, t-shirt colours always red or green or black. Long straight brown hair. Freckles. Freakishly pale skin. Short. Hazel eyes.
Background- Has known about herself being magic at a young age, but unable to find anyone else with magic has trained herself. Was always interested in electricity, thus using that interest to her advantage and very recently (with Fletcher Renn's help) gotten into LOTS of trouble. Entailing, she's been kidnapped four times. Even though she is VERY Australian, she has a Russian/Irish accent with hints of English and Welsh.
Behaviour- Gets angry easily, but takes a lot to make her show it. She is normally good-natured, but can fly into a rage at a moments notice if you aren't paying attention. Often has excellent ideas. (Cause She is me) Never gives in ever. Will always bring something up at the worst times.
Wears a belt, with Makhaira hanging quite obviously from her waist.
Sparky is thirteen, as mentioned in the story. That is all.
Also Sparky (being me, can't remind you of that enough times) has...
Well, y'know FEARS...
Deathly afraid of spiders and *hides head in shame* being *mumbles something*
Everyone else: What?
Being tickled, okay? It renders Sparky (me) completely useless and that scares her(ME) more than anything else in the world. Really.
*runs into near by nursery and takes as many shrubs as possible*
Shop Owner: You can't take those.
Sparky(me!): Oh uh... *looks into shop owners eyes* You are letting me take these so that I can give them to the worlds most honourable cause. Making Derek-The-Golden-God-Landy love me and use Sparky(ME!) as a character.
S.O: KK.
When wet Sparky (ME) has a tendency to shock herself out of lack of control. When she (ME) is wet she can't touch anything because she shocks it by accident, and turning any electrical appliance on while she(ME) is wet makes all the plugs/power points in the room blow up. Sparky (once again ME. THAT IS ME.) swears only when she does something incredibly stupid. Sparky (MEMEMEMEMEME) always has her hair tied up. It varies as to how, but her hair is ALWAYS tied up. She has uncannily good balance naturally. Another thing is that Sparky (Who is me, as I be she and we be each other) is always twitching or fiddling with something. Speaking of explosions, Sparky (me) makes pebbles explode when she's bored. I also keep forgetting about this crucial part of my appearance. Sparky(me) is ALWAYS wearing a scarf. Always. It changes colours, styles and patterns, but she(ME) is ALWAYS wearing a scarf. She(I) wears one to bed, to meals, to the theatre. She never takes them off.
Rule 1. Yes. I am Australian. Yes I/Sparky is a girl.
Rule 2. I will be the one winner from Australia.
Rule 3. Even though it's only been mentioned once, manipulation of electricity has indeed been used in the book series. I have gone into more depth certainly, but I think it needed to be done.
Rule 4. I have posted it here, like, thirty times. And I'm planning posting it like another thirty THOUSAND times.
Rule 5. I have. I have definitely posted many times.
Rule 6. I have posted that at the beginning of EVERY COMMENT.
Rule 7. Understood. If Derek was doing the tweaking I'd be more than eager to have that done.
Rule 8. ...Well...
Rule 9. Yes?
Rule 10. I did! It was excellent!
Sparky Braginski looked up. She was hanging from the ceiling by magic- binding cuffs and it was a long way down. She saw her captor walk into the Sydney Opera House Concert Hall. She was unfortunately hanging in the middle of the ceiling, so that if she did manage to escape the cuffs, she would land on some very unfriendly concrete. She was up so high she couldn’t see her captors face, but she could hear him.
‘How are you up there Sparky?’
‘You took my sword.’
‘So I did. I am not going to give it back, and as you are not in a position to negotiate with your words or your fists, I recommend you answer the question. So how are you?’ Sparky gritted her teeth, knowing that the man was right.
‘If you must know, my wrists hurt I’m losing circulation in my hands and feet, and I’m wondering how Fletcher Renn managed to talk me into going to that party.’ She answered, irritably. She looked down at the man, trying to see his face but she was to high up.
‘Party? I read your files and you hate parties.’
‘I do hate parties, loud music, too many people and obnoxious people at that.’ Sparky blew at some hair that kept falling on her face.
‘Look, I get the whole, “kidnap me” routine, but why have you chained me here?’ She asked.
‘Simple,’ He replied, ‘the last time someone kidnapped you, you saw their face. This time, no one’s here.’ He sneered. Sparky hated it when people sneered at her. It meant they thought they were better than her, and in this case, smarter than her. But she wasn’t going to let that title slip away without a fight. She watched the man leave the room. Why did she go to that damned party? If she ever managed to escape she was going to, to, well she would do something to Fletcher. As she hung there, Sparky looked around the room again and saw the organ. If she could just get near it. She looked up at how the cuffs were attached to the ceiling, and saw that, if she could rock her body, the cuffs would slide her towards the organ, much like a flying fox at a playground. Sparky swung towards the organ with all her might. Unfortunately it was more oiled than she expected, and Sparky speed towards the organ. She hit it and bounced off. Wincing in pain she swung at it again. This time she managed to grip the top of one of the pipes with her foot. As she steady herself she grinned, almost two hours, she’d been hanging up there, waiting for someone to come in to check if she was still there. Now that they thought that they knew where Sparky was she could make her escape. In those two hours of waiting, it hadn’t taken her long to realise that the shackles were way to big for her, and that with little effort she could slip her hands out. She dropped carefully onto the organ and shimmed down far to slowly for her liking. As she dropped to the floor she felt magic returning, and it was a welcome feeling. She tested her magic, yes; electricity could still stream from her fingers. She crouched and decided that before she left she needed to make sure that no one was guarding the doors.
She sat down thinking that maybe those piano lessons had done something for her in later life and slammed her hands on every key of the organ within reach. She heard a shout from behind the main doors and darted into the nearest room.
She then crept out into the foyer and was about to leave when she remembered her sword.
‘Damn it all.’ She mumbled. She turned, looked up and nearly walked into a man that was guarding a door. She braced herself for when he saw her and sounded an alarm. But he wasn’t moving. Gazing at the back of his head she backed away and was about to walk away when he turned and saw her. A year ago he would’ve yelled and she would’ve jumped. But not now. She looked straight into his eyes and said
‘You cannot see me. I am not here. Turn around.’ The man strained and turned. Sparky walked towards the main exit looking for any rooms that her sword might be in. Sparky sighed knowing she wouldn’t be able to leave her sword behind and walked back into the foyer. As she was walking she heard something whimpering, she followed where it was coming from. It was coming from one of the bars and as she peered over the edge and a man was sitting there with his eyes glued shut, practically wetting himself with fear.
‘Please don’t kill me.’ He sobbed. Sparky sighed. Why did everyone think she was going to kill them? She was a thirteen-year-old girl for god’s sake. She hit people, she had disabled one person and broken a couple bones, but she didn’t kill anyone. She vaulted over the bar and landed in front of the man.
‘I’m not going to kill you.’ She said trying to make her voice soothing. The man opened his eyes and they widened in shock. His mouth opened wide to yell but Sparky clapped her hand over his mouth. When his facial expression was a little calmer Sparky put a finger to her lips.
‘Are you okay?’ He nodded. ‘Are you sure?’ He nodded. ‘If I take my hand off you face are you going to call for help?’ He shook his head madly. She looked dead into his eyes. ‘Are you lying to me?’ The man tore her hand away from his mouth and frantically whispered, ‘Why would I lie? I just as confused as you are!’ He clamped his own hands over his mouth and shut up.
‘Okay one, that was astoundingly stupid and two, I know exactly what’s going on.’ She snapped. ‘Who are you anyway?’ She asked.
‘Who am I? I own this establishment. And I a-‘ Sparky shushed him. He looked offended but he stayed quiet.
‘Look, there isn’t much time. I have three questions. Do you know why these men took me here?’ He shook his head. ‘Do you know who they are?’ He shook his head again. ‘Last question, Do you know where they are in here?’ At this he nodded.
‘I know where they are, yes, but I’m not going back there.’ He shivered at the thought. Sparky felt bad about what she was about to do, but she didn’t have a choice. She looked deep into the man’s eyes. She saw fear. She was about to change that.
‘Sir, you need to get up. Now.’ He stood up, this poor mortal didn’t stand a chance. ‘You are going to lead me to where they are.’ He only faltered for a split second and then started walking. She followed him into a secret room. He turned around snapping out of the trance.
‘How did we get here?’ He asked. Sparky was about to answer when he bolted. She shrugged turned and entered he room. It was empty, but her sword and her phone were lying on the table. She picked up the sword first and inspected it. Her sword was a Makhaira, too long to be a knife and too short to be a sword. Good for all kinds of things. Stabbing, slicing and lopping.
"Ich ben ein Stagosaurus!"
Sparky herself hardly ever used the thing, but she loved it, kept it close and she knew how to use it. The one time she had used the sword it was against a fully-grown man who had been using his sword for almost 150 years. She had been using her sword for two years. She beat him. When people marveled at her for her fancy footwork with her Makhaira she merely shrugged, not wanting to be a show-off. She picked up her phone and saw that Fletcher had called her fifteen times. She called him and told him where she was. Suddenly a hand gripped her shoulder. She whirled thinking that it was one of the thugs but when she turned there was no one there. That cocky voice came from behind her.
‘Why so jumpy? You called me, I came. That’s normally how it works. That’s how it worked with Val anyway.’ She looked at him, fuming.
‘Just take me somewhere else so I can yell at you without getting attacked.’ Fletcher complied taking her too a park near her old school that was completely empty. Then she exploded.
‘Fletcher Renn you are in somuch trouble right now.’ She yelled. ‘I have been so tolerant of you. Listening to your incredibly interesting stories almost made it worth it. Until today, that is. Someone kidnapped me. Kidnapped, Fletcher, they kidnapped me. Th-‘
Fletcher cut across her. ‘You’ve been kidnapped twice before, and you never freaked out this much.’ She slapped him, hard.
‘Be thankful I didn’t shock you as well porcupine. The last two times, I escaped easily because my captors were morons. This time I was hanging from the freaking ceiling of the Concert Hall! In magic-binding cuffs! If the person who had cuffed me was more observant I would still be there!’ She cried. Fletcher smiled, not taken Sparky seriously.
‘She’ll came down in a sec.’ He thought. Sparky saw him smiling. She opened her mouth to scream in frustration, closed her mouth without making a sound, looked at Fletcher long and hard and ran away. Fletcher watched blur away, marveling how fast she could run with a little, magic running through her blood-streams. He saw stop behind a tree, lean against it and curl into a ball, rocking back and forth lightly. He decided it would be safer to his health if he walked up, giving Sparky a couple minutes to calm down. As he walked up he noted the complete silence. Sparky sat there, wondering why no one could tell when she was being sincere. Was it because she was young? No, it couldn’t be, her school friends didn’t take her seriously. Because she was short? Possibly… Fletcher was almost with Sparky. He could see her brown hair, and pale skin. He grinned, thinking about how happy he’d made her. He was about to ask how she was but faltered. He could hear something. He looked around, but the only person other than him was Sparky. But that couldn’t be right, because he was hearing sobbing. Then it hit him. Sparky was crying. She didn’t cry, she never cried. He’d seen her break an arm and she didn’t cry. She didn’t cry when she found out that her pet lizard had been eating by bush turkeys. Sparky didn’t cry. He had no idea how to respond, but he had to do something. He crouched in front of her, and lifted her chin. Her face was red and wet from her crying, but her eyes were completely different. Her eyes weren’t sad or scared. They were angry. She was practically in a rage. Fletcher thought it would be best to think very carefully.
‘Sparky? Are you okay?’ He asked, tentatively. Sparky looked up at him. She then scowled.
‘Do you think I’m okay? Really? Does it actually need to be asked? Are you actually that stupid?’ Fletcher was taken aback.
‘I just meant-‘
‘Fletcher I don’t care what you meant. Just go away.’ Fletcher tried to say something.
‘Piss off Fletcher!’ She screamed. She stood up. Now she was in a rage.
‘Fletcher Renn! This is all your fault! Now GO AWAY!’ Fletcher hesitated. Then disappeared.
Sparky sat there thinking for a couple minutes, then got up and stretched. She now really regretted treating Fletcher like that, but what could she do? She called him. He picked up on the third ring.
‘Fletcher, I’m sorry, okay? I’ve just been really stressed and-‘ She started.
‘It’s okay, you needed to vent. That’s cool. At least you said sorry.’
‘Can you- I mean, if it’s cool, could you take me home?’ She asked, awkwardly. He appeared in front of her.
‘Course.’ He motioned to his back and, with a laugh, Sparky jumped on his back. He teleported. Sparky opened her eyes and shrieked.
‘This isn’t my house!’ She said coldly. Fletcher was standing on top of the Harbour Bridge. She got off and scowled. Then she pushed him of for the hell of it, knowing he would teleport back up. He screamed briefly on the way down.
‘Hey! Don’t do that! If I wasn’t me I’d be dead!’ He said, laughing.
‘But I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t you. No one else is annoying enough to make me want to push them of the Harbour Bridge.’ Sparky giggled. Fletcher took her home. Everything was as it should be. She walked upstairs and went to sleep. In the morning she woke up and tried to stretch. She then opened her eyes. She was blindfolded. She tried to scream, but had a piece of cloth in her mouth. She attempted to fry the cloth over her eyes and mouth, but the electricity wasn’t coming out of her hands. So instead she made the electricity rise out of skin directly onto the cloth. This was a tactic that she had recently discovered. The magic-binding whatever that was on her would keep her magic from leaving her body, but electricity had science. The electricity on her skin jumped to the cloth, burning it. She could see again. She craned her head taking in everything she could. Which wasn’t much. She noticed that this time they hadn’t taken her Makhaira, which was nice for a change. She also noticed the man asleep on a stool by the door, supposedly guarding her. Always a weak link in these kidnapping attempts.
‘Hey! Dude, wake up.’ She called. The man shook, opened his eyes and looked at her. Sparky took her chance, staring into his eyes.
‘Release me.’ She ordered. He looked like he was hung over.
‘Release me now.’ She repeated. He stood up and untied her. She was about to walk out the door when she stopped. This was way to easy. She looked back at the man.
‘Walk out the door.’ She said. He looked scared for a fleeting second and then opened the door. Sparky was hiding behind the door when he fell. She peeked around the corner and saw that the man had been shot. This situation had started beyond her control and was now sliding much further away. She thought about calling Fletcher but decided against it. They had probably set something up to prevent him from helping her. But then again…
Twenty minutes later Sparky was standing in the rain outside the entrance to the Roarhaven Sanctuary. Fletcher hadn’t lied about it always raining in Ireland and she had believed him. She liked the rain, it was her favourite weather, but standing in it wasn’t to fun, there was no cover and it wasn’t pretty when she was wet. Fletcher popped his head back out the door.
‘You can come in now.’ He said. She trudged in immediately regretting it and she shocked herself.
‘Crap!’ Fletcher looked at her funny, and then realizing what had happened asked a man with a scarred head to dry her.
‘Why would I need to dry her?’ He asked. Fletcher explained, also adding in that Sparky developed an embarrassing stutter when this happened. The man nodded and Sparky felt the water lifting off of her.
‘Thank you. My name is Sparky Braginski. Has Fletcher told you about my, uh, predicament?’ The man shook her hand warmly.
‘Hello, my name is Ghastly Bespoke, apparently you need to call me Elder Bespoke but you can call me Ghastly. Yes I am aware and I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, would you like to stay in the Sanctuary?’ Sparky nodded.
‘I would also like to comment on the fact that you are the first person I’ve ever met that hasn’t stared at my scars. How old are you?’
‘Thirteen. I thought that you must’ve lived through enough people staring at you, so I skipped that bit.’ She said, timidly.
‘Would you like a new set of clothes?’ He asked. Sparky looked at her own clothes.
‘Yes. But can I have what I’m wearing? I love this outfit, it took me forever to get it right.’ She queried.
‘Sure you can, I’ll just make them out of a protective fabric, how about that?’ Ghastly suggested. Sparky nodded, noticing something in Ghastly’s voice that struck her as strange. He was pronouncing everything very clearly for an Irishman. As he walked away, Sparky analyzed his comments in her head. Then she realized. He was pronouncing everything as clearly as possible to make sure she understood everything he said. She was now thoroughly irritated. She may have been small, and looked young for her age, but here was another person who didn’t think of her as an equal. She looked at Fletcher and asked him what they would do next.
‘Well, I think you should meet some of my friends. Val, Skuldu-‘ He began.
‘Val? As in Valkyrie Cain? The one that works with Skulduggery Pleasant? I get to meet them? Awesome.’ She was excited now. As Fletcher guided her through the Sanctuary they both got some pretty strange looks. She thought it was probably Fletcher’s hair, but then thought that maybe the ancient Greek sword hanging from a thirteen-year-olds waist was grabbing their attention.
‘Fletcher, where are we going?’ She asked, getting dizzy from all the twist’s and turns.
‘To the medical bay.’ He replied, casually.
‘The medi- why exactly are we going there?’
‘Because they always end up there somehow. You look lost.’ He said.
‘Yes I am. If you know where the sick bay is, can’t we just teleport there?’ She pleaded.
‘Actually, I was waiting for you to ask me that, I have no idea where we are.’ Fletcher put his hand on her shoulder and they appeared outside what looked like the medical clinic from hell. The chairs were rusted and there were blood splatters on the walls. She turned, and nearly crashed into a skeleton. She looked up, and gasped. She had almost walked into the Skeleton Detective.
‘Sorry. I saw you teleport in with Fletcher. Who are you?’ he asked, his voice calm.
‘My name is Sparky Braginski. I’m from Australia.’ She said, dumbfounded.
‘Really? You don’t sound particularly Australian. You sound half Russian half Irish.’ He commented.
‘I’ve been around. I love Russia, but this is the first time I’ve been to Ireland.’ She explained. Skulduggery cocked his head.
‘Say something else. Why are you here?’ He asked. Sparky looked confused but elaborated.
‘Well, in the last month I’ve been kidnapped four times by the same person. I don’t know why they want me, but I figured it probably wasn’t safe for me to stay in Australia.’ Sparky thought he was looking right at her, but couldn’t tell.
‘You also sound a bit Welsh. Or is it English?’ He said.
‘Actually, it’s both. I noticed as soon as I met her.’ Fletcher added. Skulduggery looked at him.
‘Welcome back. How was Australia?’ He asked Fletcher.
‘Hot. Sweaty. Humid. They love cricket. What else do you need to know?’ Fletcher replied. Skulduggery laughed.
‘Valkyrie will be out in a moment if you were wondering.’ He said. The moment had just become exceedingly awkward. Sadly, that moment of awkwardness was about to be topped. Valkyrie Cain walked out of the operating room.
‘Skulduggery, do we seriously need Nye t-‘ Valkyrie saw Fletcher and turned bright red. Fletcher also turned red. Sparky, on the other hand, went white as a sheet. Skulduggery surveyed the situation chuckling. The three kids looked at him. Valkyrie growled, Fletcher scowled and Sparky started laughing uncontrollably. Then Fletcher and Valkyrie scowled at her.
‘Well this is funny.’ Chuckled Skulduggery. He grabbed Sparky’s shoulder and guided her out of the Sanctuary.
‘W-where are you taking me?’ While they were walking Sparky noted that she wasn’t getting wet, and Skulduggery wasn’t either.
‘Have you ever read anything by Gordon Edgley?’ He asked. Sparky nodded. She had read all of his stuff. ‘And The Darkness Rained Upon Them’, ‘The Vanishing Light’, ‘The Coward Colonel Fleece’, ‘Brain Muncher’ and ‘Into Thin Air’. There were so many more.
‘Good. I’m taking you to his house.’ Skulduggery said. Sparky looked at him, puzzled.
‘I thought he was dead!’ She exclaimed. Skulduggery stopped walking next to a swanky car.
‘What kind of car is that?’ She asked. Skulduggery looked at her, stepping into the car.
‘Get in. It’s 1945 Bentley R-Type Continental.’ He responded. Sparky slid in, thinking how impulsive Skulduggery was. The car ride was pleasant, but Sparky couldn’t help but wonder what Fletcher and Valkyrie were doing.
Skulduggery had introduced Sparky to the Echo Gordon and she had marveled over his entertainment skills. When they arrived at the Sanctuary, Fletcher greeted them with a black eye.
‘Hello guys. How are you?’ He moaned. Sparky saw Ghastly walking behind him. She shoved Fletcher aside, ignoring his pitiful groaning and ran after Ghastly.
‘Ghast-!’ She hesitated. ‘Elder Bespoke, I need to talk to you!’ She called. This time she got lots of strange looks, but ignored them completely. Ghastly saw her and walked briskly into a room. Sparky followed. She walked in carefully, and saw Ghastly presenting her with a box.
‘Here are your new clothes.’ He said, still pronouncing everything perfectly.
‘Okay, thanks, but really? Must you talk like that?’ She exclaimed. Ghastly stared.
‘Talk like what?’ He asked. Sparky sighed.
‘You pronounce everything so precisely when you talk to me, yet when you speak to others, you talk briskly. You have underestimated my intelligence and me. That annoys me. What made you think I was to be treated differently? Huh?’
‘You are the youngest person to visit the Sanctuary since Valkyrie first came when she was twelve. I’m startled to see such a young girl with a sword hanging from her waist. How did you get that anyway?’ He replied.
‘My Makhaira? It was recommended to me by a friend, Lyra Blue.’ She answered.
‘Ghastly, I don’t want to make my first impression that I complain a lot, but I cannot stand it when people treat me like that. I may be thirteen, but I’m ready to handle whatever Australia can throw at me. Now, I wish to change into my new clothes.’ Ghastly stepped back and then nodded. She got changed and walked back out of the room, and immediately got lost. She asked a passing sorcerer which way she should go.
'Excuse me, but how do I get to the exit?' She asked a woman with short hair.
‘Who are you, and why should I waste my time leading you somewhere? Ask Tipstaff.’
‘My name is Sparky Braginski, I don’t know who Tipstaff is and this place needs a map.’ She responded, strongly. The woman shrugged.
‘My name is Philomena Random. I’ll guide you to the exit.’ As they walked together Philomena explained her job at the sanctuary and how her magic aided her. Sparky was eager to talk to someone on this subject and was happy to know that her minor levels of manipulation over others were a career choice.
The next morning Fletcher took Sparky back to the Sanctuary, in a meeting room of some sort. To her surprise Skulduggery and Valkyrie were there, along with Ghastly and a man named Erskine Ravel. Skulduggery started the meeting.
‘I have been thinking about what we should do. I have decided that the best way to solve the problem is to find the center of the problem. Which means that you, Sparky, are going back to Australia.’ Skulduggery concluded. Sparky stared at him.
‘What!?’ She screeched. ‘You want me to go back?’ Sparky wasn’t the only one looking at him funny. Fletcher sat there with his mouth hanging open and even Valkyrie was staring at Skulduggery like he was a madman. Sparky guessed that Fletcher had filled her in. Ghastly stood up.
‘Sparky mentioned that she could’ve been shot. I would like to point out that because she is now wearing Bespoke Tailor’s clothing, she will be safe. She could get carpet-bombed whatever part of her body clothing covered would be unharmed.’
‘That’s no consolation! The good mages can tell protective clothing from the normal stuff!’ Valkyrie exclaimed. Sparky looked at her.
‘I would know.’ Valkyrie stared right on back. ‘I’ve been shot. Or, at least, I remember it.’ Valkyrie broke eye contact. In the small moment connection, Sparky had almost sensed a hostility coming from Valkyrie. Sparky was worried. She didn’t like having enemies, especially ones she had never spoken to before. Ravel spoke up.
‘So, basically we are sending a thirteen-year-old back to a country where someone wants to kill her? Isn’t that just a little daft?’ He said.
‘She can take care of herself.’ Mumbled Ghastly. Sparky sat up a little straighter.
‘Do you have reasoning behind that? Or is it just because of the flashy sword hanging from her waist?’ He said, annoyed. Sparky sank down in her chair again, and turned bright red. Ghastly and Fletcher stood up at the same time and roared,
‘Don’t underestimate her!’ They then looked at each other and sat back down again. Ravel switched his gaze between both of them.
‘Are you sure?’ He asked. Fletcher and Ghastly shared a look and then nodded.
‘But of course you aren’t sending me alone, right?’ Sparky said before they got to out of hand. They all looked at her.
‘Of course we’re not sending you by yourself. Fletcher, Val and Skulduggery are going with you.’ Ghastly answered.
‘So when do we leave?’ Valkyrie asked. Fletcher put his hand on Valkyrie’s shoulder. They disappeared. Fletcher reappeared, touched Skulduggery’s hat and teleported away again. When he returned he grabbed Sparky’s hand and they appeared underneath to Harbour Bridge, next to Valkyrie and Skulduggery.
‘So what’s the game plan?’ Fletcher asked. Valkyrie and Skulduggery laughed.
‘Game plan? Since when have we had a game plan?’ Valkyrie cackled, wiping a tear away. Sparky looked aghast.
‘So, I’m going to be bait. And your going to swoop in and save the day, right?’ She said.
‘Yes, that’s usually how it works.’ Skulduggery replied. Sparky fell to her knees and cried out.
‘These guys had better be as good as the sound!’ She called to the sky.
The next morning Sparky woke up and looked around quickly. Yes, she had been kidnapped. Again. She was getting sick of waking up somewhere different than when she went to sleep. Except this time they’d gone a bit overboard. She was not shackled, blindfolded or muzzled. No, she was surrounded by forty or so of sleeping hit men. She was fully aware that they were instructed to attack her when she woke up. But she must’ve been drugged, because they were all sound asleep. Without making a sound she slid of the table she had been lying on, and punched the ground as hard as she could.
"I'm going to do an internet!" (Crazy music)
"I'm going to do a book!...Oh..."
The chairs that the men were sitting on overturned. They woke up and decided to go tag team. One of them came at her, and without a flinch Sparky swiftly pulled her Makhaira out with her right hand and cut the man’s Achilles tendon. He fell with a shriek, immediately replaced by two more. She electrocuted one and cut the finger off another. The one she electrocuted jittered and fell. The other grabbed his fallen finger and while he was distracted, Sparky she let her electricity crackle around her hands. She then punched the man directly under the chin, making him fly backwards. The men were doubling their efforts. Four of them dived at her and she just managed to blur out of the way, catching one of the men in the side with her Makhaira. She then sent a twin stream of electricity into two idle men’s eyes. She turned, was almost hit by someone’s punch to the side of her head, but managed to duck out of the way just in time. She splayed her hands and a weak shockwave ebbed out and confused her assailants. She grabbed her mobile phone and called the others.
‘Help me, I’m being attacked!’ She grunted. A man came up behind her and battered the phone out of her hand. She whirled, but not in time to avoid the punch to her ribs. She faltered, clutching the side of her chest. She then feinted down and swiped high with her sword. She cut the man’s ear off. Dropping the façade of being hurt she saw Fletcher, Valkyrie and Skulduggery fighting. Fletcher was disappearing and reappearing with a different weapon every time. Skulduggery was shooting beams of fire at the enemy and Valkyrie was sending waves of shadows around the room. Soon enough, the men were but a bloody pile on the floor. Some were dead and some were not, but Sparky knew she hadn’t killed anyone. They stalked along looking for the leader of this operation. The entered a room that had only one thing of interest. An old man, looking to be about sixty, tall, thin with greying ginger hair. He wore a stainless white suit and held a cane of the deepest black. He was grinning evilly.
‘So you finally discover my hideout. I was watching you fight my men by the way, I must not underestimate our dear Sparky again.’ The man said. ‘If you were wondering my name is Iniquitous Subjugate.’ He said it all with a very bored voice. Fletcher watched as Sparky’s eyes got madder and madder. Any second now she was going to blow a fuse, and it was not going to be pretty.
‘Why do you want me? Why have you kidnapped me so many times?’ Sparky asked. He smiled and shrugged.
‘I am evil. I stop potential young magic civilians thwarting my plans. Unfortunately I didn’t get to you soon enough. You have escaped my grasp four times, and I am worried about your determination. I simply wanted to kill you off so that you couldn’t save Australia every time I tried to destroy it. I have not succeeded, and I assume you’re going to throw me in jail. That’s probably wise.’ He held out his wrists and Valkyrie stepped towards him with shackles.
‘Wait.’ Sparky ordered. ‘Do you really believe I think it’s going to be as easy as that? He’s not real.’ Skulduggery looked at her.
‘So you noticed to? Sparky is correct, the Iniquitous Subjugate standing before us is a hologram.’ Skulduggery said. Fletcher and Valkyrie gaped.
Fletcher teleported beside Subjugate and waved his hand through the hologram’s head. Fletcher looked at the ground.
‘Hey! The video is being sent from somewhere I’ve been before, lets go!’ Fletcher grabbed Skulduggery, Valkyrie and Sparky and teleported them to a room full of cameras and computers. The real Iniquitous was standing there in disbelief that they’d found him.
‘But, how? So you didn’t fall for my traps. Oh well. Time to fight.’ Subjugate lifted his cane, the camouflage lifting and showing that the cane was, in fact, a Katana. He swiped at Sparky, his prime objective. She skipped back and pulled out her Makhaira with her left hand. He cackled.
‘Why with your left? I saw you fighting with your right before.’ He giggled with glee.
‘Now who said I was right handed?’ Sparky replied coolly, swiping for his head, ducking and stabbing at his feet. They dueled for ten minutes or so, with Skulduggery, Valkyrie and Fletcher keeping Iniquitous’ henchmen at bay. And finally Sparky’s sword found purchase. She stabbed through his thigh, making him fall of his feet.
‘Fletcher! Get Skulduggery and Valkyrie out of the room!’ She yelled. Fletcher, not stopping to ask why, teleported them away. Sparky planted her feet firmly on the ground and clapped as hard as she could. Subjugate flew backwards and hit the wall, making it crack. All of the henchmen flew into the glass walls on the other side of room and crashed straight through. Sparky herself, gripped her phone tightly and flew backwards. She curled herself up into a ball in midair and felt her shins connect with a table ledge. She pulled her phone out and called Fletcher, not having enough strength to say anything. For the first time she thought that maybe she had just broken both of her legs. She lay there and saw Fletcher appear. She vaguely remembered Fletcher picking her up and teleporting her back to the medical clinic from hell.
Sparky Braginski sat up. She was reading a Gordon Edgley book, Brain Muncher, again. She had been in the medical bay for two days, and was set to go home in an hour. Valkyrie, Fletcher and Ghastly had visited her. Fletcher walked in.
‘Are you ready to go?’ He asked.
‘I thought I was leaving in another hour.’ She moaned back.
‘Yeah, well I wanted to give you a treat.’ He smiled.
‘I’ll pass.’ Sparky said, lazily. Fletcher disappeared and suddenly Sparky was sitting on a patch of grass underneath the Harbour Bridge. Of course Fletcher had taken her anyway. She sighed. Fletcher was about to say something when he started choking. She thumped his back and he calmed down.
‘What’s wrong?’ She asked, startled. He coughed again and then choked out two words.
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