What's this, you ask? A brand new Tom Percival cover for Book One? But why? Whatever could be going on?
Well, my loyal and grinning Minions, it's because of the response we've been getting from our American readers that we've decided to have another go in the States. You've all been spreading the word to such an astonishing degree that we figured we'd help you along by re-releasing the first trilogy in eBook format, all with brand new covers. In fact, to FURTHER aid you in your recruiting endeavours, the first book is FREE to download for the entire month of October.
Because you're awesome. And so am I.
To see what's happening, just go to www.skulduggerypleasant.com/promo/index.html.
But hark! The news doesn't end there. We're also about to run a first-of-its-kind competition for my American Minions (Ameriminions?), and my American Minions ONLY. Let's face it, the poor dears have to go through an awful lot to keep up with Skulduggery, so they deserve a bit of special treatment every now and then...!
What does the winner get, you ask? Oh, nothin' much... just the brain-melting honour of a special Halloween short story being set in their home state, starring (and I know you've been missing her) Tanith Low, to be released free in time for October 31st.
And what KIND of competition is it, you're asking now? Why, it's the kind of competition in which you write the first line of the story, and I continue on from there. Simples! So it's up to you, my Ameriminions. It can be as spooky, as crazy, as scary, as funny, as weird or as atmospheric as you like. I've read all your posts, and so I like to think that I know each of you just a little bit, and I know for a fact that you're all, y'know, just a tad... UNUSUAL. Ahem. Oh, and naturally I'll need your permission to actually USE your first line, so at the start of every entry could you all write "I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full permission to take this line and incorporate it into his wonderful, wonderful story."
And you had BETTER put that at the start of your entry, because if I find the PERFECT opening line that lends itself so much to a weird and spooky story, and then I realise that you didn't give me your permission to use it...? Why, I'd just have to hunt you down and kill you with a spoon.
And this is all thanks to the reactions we've been getting from the Ameriminions, so thank you Kallista, Skyril and Mar Chu, and Skulgirl13 (A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous), and Saoirse Equus, and of course Thor, and Thalia, and Ann Marie, and Vivianna Spark, and not forgetting Alana Core, Jugglingpaynes, Laura, Valkyrie V., Tori, Skulduggery Skellington, or even Gwaila, Pandora Wakeshima, Ophelia, nights.raven, Arabella Valkyrie PleasantSparrow, Nicole, annaslanski, Naomi Wiflath, MooGirl XD, Bella Votolato/Valkyrie Cain, mmodrall, Artemis Shakora, Ven Curor, Minnie, Lois Lane, Another Individual, Deila, Thornton, legolas3, Anya, Captain Zombie, Lauren Longbottom, Idlewind, Hanna, Gwyneth Noire, Funk Tuba, Docktor, Dantea William, Cat, Bekka, and last but not least- Andrew.
Did I miss anyone? I bet I did. Dammit.
RULES:
You MUST give me your permission at the start of your entry!
There is no limit on word count- it can be as long as you like, or as short, cutting and snappy as you like. But it must ONLY be one line!
Competition closes on October 23rd. The winner will be announced soon after on this Blog.
With your entry, please include your home State, not your town. Your State is all I need.
Each person is limited to FIVE entries each.
The short story, once it's finished, will be available to everyone, all around the world. Yippee! (Ahem.)
Anyway! That is the first of our Americaland competitions, and the second will be unveiled next week, with all sorts of goodies up for grabs. But for right now, for THIS competition, all I have to say to my Ameriminions is good luck, and don't be afraid to be different. Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.
2,549 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1400 of 2549 Newer› Newest»Its gotten so violent sense the last time I was here.
I like it. ;)
@lego: Then you rip the other bones out, too. Obviously.
It's always violent when I'm here, but me AND Amanda? It's crazy.
It would be nigh impossible to rip out someones spine in one peice, due to the muscles and tendons connecting it to the rib-cage ect.
However, feel free to try, so long as it dosn't affect me.
Hehehe. Funnnnnnn.
I will try. And I will succeed. Just you see if I dont. I bet the meat and tendons and stuff would fall right off if it was cooked first.
I would not suggest trying, as last time I checked, murdering people was accepted as a bad thing to do.
Oh. Damn. Your right. I keep forgetting.
*shrugs* I guess It will remain one of the great mysterys of life.
Murder can be a good thing!!!!!!!!!!!
I know, but if you don't get rid of the body fast, then they put you in jail, and its hard to erase evidence when theres that much blood and spines and cooked body parts involved.
hi you guys
my mom just made me clean the house X_X
um...no. *tries to think of a situation where it would be a good idea to kill someone*
Osama Binladden. Hittler. Crux. Justin Beiber.
whats with all this talk about murder?
wait.
wait.
waaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt......
OH GOD.
I'M MATURE.
AND CALM.
AND NOT STABBY!
I DON'T FEEL LIKE HARMING ANYTHING!
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!
wait. *looks at Niall* *derpy grin* I think I know why *snuggles*
That sucks
I hate those sappy animal shelter commercials. they make me sad.
If you need to get rid of a body all you do is hide it in the floor like the guy in "A Tell-Tale Heart"
I've done it DOZENS of times. Works like a charm.
*snuggles*
*whispers to others*
You have to BURN the body.
Is that the one where the guy goes crazy and hears the heart beating or voices or something? And wouldn't the smell give it away?
I really don't think it was acceptable of them to kill him. I don't find it ethical to go around killing people, instead of taking them to court, which would have been far more reasonable.
Oh, and I fantasize about killing people all the time. But fantasizing is one thing, and thinking it's at all acceptable is another.
*ends rant*
Val - I preferred acid. Or cremation then dissolving the ashes in acid, or encasing them in concrete.
TBH, I always found phsycological torture more entertaining.
Well, if you roast marshmellows over the flame it gets a slight taste of corpse. Always a delicacy.
@ven- SMUUUUUUUTTTTT.
I agree with Niall. Burning works best. Just use someone else's fireplace. I mean, fire even kills Edward Cullin.
Well, Amanda and I are gonna go watch Misery, so we'll be back afterwards.
I spelled Cullen wrong.
I change my mind. I'd rather roast marshmallows than people. They taste better with chocolate and gram crackers.
Anyone still on?
*nods* me and Niall are being romantic on DA, Lego is looking at smut, and the others are plotting murder.
Its a good night.
yep...
@venice- I'm not looking at smut, as you and niall have failed to send it. *whines*
Well, I'm not sure 'plotting' is the right word, more like debating the specifics of, murder.
A very good night indeed.
Now, if only my iPod would stop bullying me.
OMIGODYESICANEATINTENMINUTESANDIAMSOHUNGRYGHAAAA
bye for now! *huggies everyone*
*hugs lego* I SENT YOU SMUT ON CHAT!
@Lego, google bookshelves in porn.
It's SFW, no nudity, but it's related to smut, and it's bloody hilarious.
I've decided on my second entry. Its short and sweet and to the point, yet at the same time a bit vague.
I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full permission to take this line and incorporate it into his wonderful, wonderful story.
Texas.
"It's pronounced, 'Flirtatious'." Tanith said crossly.
Such brilliance in only one line. *sniff* Its beautiful.
Bye Lego!
Enjoy your food.
(I bet it's barbecue. *nods sarcastically*)
(Can you nod sarcastically?)
(yes, but it requires a certain skill - the ability to look at someone with complete and utter derision, whilst still keeping your composture.
Obviously, it has never be sucessfully attempted by an American ;) )
My iPod is dying such a bully could you guys look at my blog?
"Bookshelves"?
Sorry, meant blackboards.
Blackboards in porn.
I'm getting my blogs mixed up now.
@Ven, I prefer the "did-you-really-just-say-that" eyebrow r
for everyday use.
KK Flame.
R u ven going out?
I personally prefer the 'what a poor little idiot you are' smirk and eyebrow raise. Remove the smirk, and it turns into the 'I wonder what it feels like to be that thick'
back for a moment...oven is malfunctioning.
@Niall- nah, was just planning to find an adorable baby pig and eat it alive.
@Venice- shuddup
@Flame, I am going to assume that was meant to be "Are you and Ven going out?" and I will answer as such.
No, but only because of circumstances.
Flame - Me and Niall? Pretty much. Blog-bethrothed, at the very least.
Lego - I haz smut. Do you want it or not?
WB Lego!
And leave that pig alone.
*puts it in teacup*
and yes, please. *turns entire face into a puppy*
oh noes, not the pigs in teacups! Dwaaaaaaa
Okay, not 'going out' in the literal sense. But in the sense that we are ridicoulously romantic with each other and no other boy intrests me because they don't even compare to him in the slightest, then yes.
weren't you going to eat him at the barbecue anyways?
Ok blogland is mor and more random each day
@Ven, *hugs*
@Lego, not him, specifically. For one thing, he's alive.
*curtsies theatrically* Oh I know. We do our utter best flame, we really do. But there is no standing in the way of 'fate' if you believe in such things.
@Flame, how so?
Ug. Laundry. Gotta go.
*Salutes Derek*
Bye.
Never mind
What's the pigs name?
@Flame- that was random? seemed pretty on topic to me, considering.
now...foodtime! woohoo! *hugs again*
??? I really don't no ..
Bye Dantea.
@Lego, enjoy your piglet!
*hugsies Niall back* BYE LEGO!!
*evil laugh*
*is still wondering what was random*
Nyyyyxie, are you on?
oh, dear, anyway, hi niall and venice!
is anyone else here?
if so, HI!
uh oh, byeee everyone!
...have to go now... be back later....
I'm here
Hi/bye Rosella.
...
That was a quick visit.
Niall can you look at my fanfic?
Niall - two people, miles apart, falling for each other thanks to the blog of an author of a what is technically a childrens book?
yeah, I wouldn't say thats normal. Brilliant, magnificent, but not normal.
Forgive me if this was already posted, I just need to make sure it worked. . .
Here I am, an American making herself known.
My mom is computer illiterate. Otherwise she'd have made herself known LONG before this.
"Tell the Golden God that I don't care WHAT all these youngsters say-- I AM HIS BIGGEST FAN! I buy all his books PRESALE on Amazon UK, and I am MAD AS HORNETS that I can't download the AUDIOBOOKS in time for my ROAD TRIP!"
My dad says it's a good thing you live in Ireland, or she might become your groupie.
We Evangelical Skulduggery Fans have gone out into our humdrum society, spreading the good news of our golden god's phenomenal characters and witty banter. I, being an avid reader, keep a list of all the books I have loaned out to my friends, and you should know that my battered paperback copy of Skulduggery Pleasant is out the most. Mom says she'll buy me a hardcover when it comes out in America, and we'll make the old one a shrine.
Entries soon to come, I just need to think them out a bit first. . . :3
@Flame, mayhaps.
@Ven, it's not?
...
I really need to find out more about this whole "normal" concept people keep talking about.
OH! YES! IT WORKED! HA!
I'm excited. :P
HELLO FANTASY FREAK!
Niall - I'll introduce you to some of my old 'freinds'. That should do it. But I don't think I will. Abnormal is far too much fun.
Hello, Venice!
And hey, 'Normal' is just a setting on my washing machine.
I'm not weird, I'm limited edition.
Hey FantasyFreak!
I don't think we've met.
I agree ven
Please can ye look at my fanfics?
I Gotta go... Bye
Niall - no, 100% one of a kind is the correct term, methinketh.
FF - I like you already...
I should not judge people on first impressions, I really shouldn't...
Oh, fanks. :3
I've been following the blog for evah, but I just joined yesterday. Decided to finally start posting-- you guys seem to be having fun, lol.
@Ven, I'm glad you were the collector that picked me up.
@Fanta, I was the same.
I entered in a convo about food, which was fun.
Niall - dwwwaaaaa
FF - I swear, its not always like this... well, me and Niall are when we're together, but I do believe its diluted by other people.
http://xat.com/AquilaFelis we use this chat a ton, feel free to come online.
Bye Kal!
*resolves that someday he will fly to Michigan and punch Kal's parents*
KAL! :'( ow kay...
Thanks! But my brother's pizza just came out of the oven, and the smell is overwhelmingly delicious. I would share, but. . . that's really hard to do over a computer. Talk to you later!
Wooooooooooooi you are great and i have a spoon to
Bye Fanta!
...I THINK I JUST FANGIRLED SO LOUD THE GOLDEN GOD COULD HEAR ME ALL THE WAY IN IRELAND.
Ahem. My entry: I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full permission to take this line and incorporate it into his wonderful, wonderful story.
"Tanith was growing weary of all the Mexican food."
I'm in Texas. FACT: There is a tremendous amount of Mexican food here. It's sometimes called Tex Mex, in case you care.
*hugs Kal*
kaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yay?!
Yay!
*puts away wasabi trousers*
Hi all!!!¡¡¡!!!
Hey Pyro!
I have to leave now, so also Bye Pyro!
And Bye Kal!
And Bye Ven!
*hugs*
Yay! I is back!
*hugs kallista and turns her mom into turd*
hi pyro!
Bye niall! *hugs*
We just finished wwatching Misery...
DEREK LANDY, PLEASE KNOW I SWEAR THAT I'LL NEVER DO THAT. I WILL NEVER DO THAT!!!
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=391
and with that, goodnight.
SO COLD!
night! *huggies*
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=661
Hi/Bye Niall!!!¡¡¡!!!
Hi Lego!!!¡¡¡!!!
hi pyro, how are you?
I'm good thanks!
And you?
Misery scares me *glances around, making sure crazy-lady's nowhere near*
I'm awesome! I just ate food, and am reminded how amazing it is.
Hi Valkyrie V!!!¡¡¡!!!
Same!
Except, Y'know, 5 hours ago…
Hi pyro! Me and Amanda - who just went back to her house after our epic Skulduggery sleepover - were screaming because of my first scary movie I've been allowed to watch.
Sounds scary…
And no, that wasn't sarcasm, even though-
*sigh*
I can't be bothered to explain, but I wasn't being sarcastic.
… I'm confused…
There was someone who was an author and his biggest fan tied to kill him and she was some insane murderer and... and... IT WAS SCARY!
ugh...we had a final service before they would let us eat. 15 minutes after her speech thing was supposed to end, I started going a little crazy from smelling the food I couldn't eat.
Hello... anybody there? :D
Hi skyril! *hugs*
I is here and I watched a scary movie
@Valkyrie- hmm...what I think would be scary is the "OMIGODILOVEYOUSOMUCHCANIHAVEYOURBABIES" fans. Wonder if derek has any of those...
Hiya, Lego! ~glomps~
Hello, Valk! ~glomps~
How are you guys?
Kallista! Hello! ~glomps~
How are you?
hi kallista! *hugs*
@Skyril- I'm good, finally got food, and have not puked it up yet. I'm sure it's only a matter of time though, I basically stuffed everything I could find into my mouth in 10 minutes.
How are you?
Huh, a minute too late.
Hi Skyril and Kallista!!!¡¡¡!!!
*hugs*
Yay! Congratulations, Kallie!
~throws purple confetti all over the place and awards her with a purple lollipop~
Aw, ~hugs Lego~
I hope you can keep it down :/
Pyro! Hello! ~glomps~
I'm doing alright, thanks :D
Because I don't want to die by means of a spoon...
I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full permission to take this line and incorporate it into his wonderful, wonderful story.
As the smell of rotting flesh filled her nostrils, Tanith leaned over the corpse and thought, "What the heck just happened?"
I'm from Maryland, by the way.
Ah yes, Octa found a new physics joke!
We don't serve nutrinos said the bartender
The nutrino walks into a bar
I forget who asked if derek had those creepy psycho fans... But that question makes the movie scarier! It was a creepy psycho fan who took the author hostage!
Hey guys look at my blog
http://bringingskulduggerytothemasses.blogspot.com/
Even if you've already seen it! I re-decorated it, I suppose. It looks awesome!
np. *glares at computer*
hi peeps!!!
yay i'm not late!!!!!!!!!!
... or am i!
Hi Misty
yay!!!
hi Valkyrie!!!
u've changed ur name again!
MREH!!! Derek the only reason I'm reposting this is because I typoed. I meant to say Tanith and not Valkyrie on the last sentance. So here is the revised one.
I hereby give my Golden God, Derek Landy, full permission to take this line and incorporate it into his wonderful, wonderful story.
1. The cresent moon rested its tired frame upon the peak of the South Sister that jutted, stark white, into the dwindling twilit sky.
2. Somewhere, a coyote howled and Tanith listened as it's brethren yipped and screamed in a haunting chorus that rose tangibly into the hot summer night sky.
3. Dry lightning split the rain streaked horizon, illuminating the Cascades in a dazzeling array of abstract shapes and colors.
4. Downtown Bend was alive with people meandering about, enjoying fine wine, music and art, completely unaware of the woman watching from the shadows above.
5. Valkyrie watched as the fuzzy black colt romped about in the field of freshly fallen snow.
MREH! I still typoed. That's why you shouldn't copy paste.
5. Tanith watched as the fuzzy black colt romped about in the field of freshly fallen snow.
Better? good. :D
HI EVERY ONE!!!
Hello, Saoirse! Nice to meet you!
HI SAOIRSE!
you don't know me.
*hands box of awesome and love*
now you do! yay!
You can't just hand out boxes of love!
But you CAN pull out spines.
why can't I hand out boxes of love? seems less painful than spine ripping...
Less painful, and less fun.
nah, love is fun.
YOU CAN'T HAND THEM OUT BECAUSE NO ONE WILL EVER GIVE ME ONE!
YAY! *hands you box of chocolates* Now you know me too. :3
What? I WANT CHOCOLATE!
*gives valkyrie a mini refrigerator of love and glitter*
I'll have to say a box of love is way better than spine ripping. Spineripping on the first meeting doesn't leave a good first impression. :/
I'll except the love, but glitter gets every where. But thanks for offering :D
*Gives Valkyrie V a box of chocolates too*
HI VALKYRIE V! :D
OMG what is this? Could it be? The rat girl has finally hauled butt and is actually on the blog! YAY!
brb
Aw, people were handing out smut and I missed it? *pouts*
First impression? If you get the impression tht I'm creepy, yeah, it's correct. If you get the impression that I'm super nice and friendly, well, I'll steal Derek's murder spoon.
HI ANN MARIE! Nice to meet you have some chocolates C: *hands you box of chocolates*
hi lizzy! *love*
hi ann! *love*
and ven never delivered on the smut...*pouts*
What I meant to say is, Hi all! Who's here? Lizzy! It's been a long time! Saoirse, Lego, Val, ..Kal, Misty and Pyro are gone?
Hi !!!!!!
Chocolate! *snarfs* Even better than smut. Yay!
hi Saoirse
hi Lizzy
i don't think we've met before *shakes there hands*
u can call me Misty
AMANDA!!!
(Eat this if you love it so much!)
chocolate's better than smut now? *watches the world flip upsidedown*
hi valkyrie
Hi Ann!!! *shakes hand*
nice to meet u!!!
Hi Amanda!!! nice to meet u! *sakes hand*
(Eat it!It eat if you love it!)
China I'm attaching a dog to the shark body :D
The awesome person is saying hi
that's awesome valkyrie
... ok then
how r u peeps?
Nice to meet you, too, Misty!
Hello, awesome person!
*shows Lego chart* See, this is where I am now. Give me a few days.
We is good!
Amanda left my house not very long ago. I miss her already!
that's good!!!
it's ok u'll see her again soon!!!
... i think
Hey Amanda Signy said she's seen Misery. I can tell because she said
OH! Ive seen that movie! The fat chick bashed his legs in and everything! It was so creepy :O
That's word for word from the text she sent me :D
wait...who's the awesome person? *confuzzled*
Amanda's the awesome person
oh, hi amanda! you're the one who wanted to rip someone's spine out, right?
I'm the awesome person !!!!!!!!!!
Yes that is right
*scowls* I'm awesome too
ok then this person is now less confused!
yes you can be awesome valkyrie
But I'm always awesome
Oh yeah. And did you read what Signy said about Misery?
who wants to bring Skulduggery into this!!! he is an awesome person/skeleton!!!
I'm always awesome more than you Amanda!
*clap clap* *suddenly is hugging Skulduggery*
I LOVE SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT!!!
lol yay FREE HUGS FOR SKULDUGGERY!!!! *throws arms around Val and SP*
KEEP CHINA OUT OF THE HUGS! SHE'S A TRAITOR!!!
you suck bella
Aw, amanda, I can so tell that you think I'm your favourite person in the world. Or is it Skulduggery? Everyone knows you LOVE him.
*CRUNCH* woops did i brake u Skulduggery? or u Val?
SP "no not me. and it best not be Valkyrie!"
Val "not me"
*Misty looks around*
oh good i just trod on a empty can!
*sigh* Blogger is not being awesome to me.
Lego, does your smut need to be visual, or are words ok?
Naw, I think that was China's skull cracking in anger, Misty.
I do NOT love him your a snozcomber a dipperonie a gusterd
CHINA LOVES SKULDUGGERY!
CHINA LOVES SKULDUGGERY!
China Sorrows, China Sorrows, she's the one, they're saying. She's the one. Nefarian Serpine killed Skulduggery Pleasant, but China Sorrows led his family into the trap - TO GET HIS WIFE OUT OF THE PICTURE!!!
XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD!!!
aw...poor unawesome blogger.
@ann- words are good too. :)
You are being hated
lol yes that's probably it!!!
if u want we can go and hunt her down!
Yeah, this really isn't working too well. I'm gonna go.
*hugs all* Night, guys!
I know where she lives!
China - And hatred, hatred, hatred. Such a familiar feeling.
sorry no that's not what i meant i meant China!!! not u sorry!!!!!!!!!!
Go hunt who down
Bye Ann Marie!
Go hunt YOU down, China!
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