Sunday, October 24, 2010

Post-Birthday Blog


My cats are all around me.

They’re twisting around my feet and jumping onto the desk, nudging my hand, and then dropping to the floor again. I think they do this to remind me that I’ve known them the longest- much longer than I’ve known those silly dogs in the kitchen. Groomer, bless her little soul, has acquired the unsettling habit of falling asleep behind the computer monitor. At least once a week I’ll walk in here, sit down, start answering emails or writing blogs, and half an hour later a little puzzled head will pop out from behind the monitor and give me a fright. Or worse, I’ll be writing away and I’ll suddenly sneeze, and this will freak her out completely and she will LAUNCH herself out from behind the monitor and I’ll jerk back and generally have a heart attack. Oh what fun cats are.

It was my birthday yesterday. I would get depressed, but the fact is I seem to be improving as I get older, so I really don’t mind. I also got these pictures texted to me, first thing in the morning.





I am the worst person to buy a present for, because everything I want I already own, but even so, my family managed to get me some nice surprises. My mother got me the coolest aftershave ever- for those moments when I have to be grown-up. My dad got me a bag of Wine Gums, because he knows what I like. My brother got me a DVD of a film I had loved when I was a teenager but had completely forgotten about- Vamp. And my sisters...

My sisters, and let’s be honest here, do not have the best track record for buying me presents. I think we all remember the “Fix Your Bathroom Up” fiasco, and the “Curtain Rail” debacle, and to top it all off, last Christmas’ “Bath Mat” embarrassment. So, what did they get me, you ask?

We were all sitting around the table, and my nieces were being hilariously cute as always, and my sisters gave me the present they had bought (with the assistance of their husbands, naturally). Smiling politely, I unwrapped it. I was actually holding it upside down, but even so, there was no disguising what it was.

“Ah,” I said. My sisters were looking at me eagerly. “It appears,” I continued, “and bear in mind that I could be wrong, as I haven’t turned it right-side up yet, that you have, in fact, got me some placemats for my birthday.”

They nodded, delighted with themselves. I was perplexed. Only five minutes earlier, they had assured me that they had finally found me a present I would regard as cool. But placemats? Those square things you put on your table for the plates to sit on? How on Earth would I find THAT cool?

And then I turned them over.



“Huzzah!” I cried. “Skulduggery placemats!”

And there was much merriment (yayyy) and verily, it was a good day.

So now I am 36, and a much better person than I was a few days ago. I feel that 35 was merely a rehearsal for 36- that the last 35 years were just to prepare myself for being who I am now. Finally, I am the age I was born to be.

Thank you all for your birthday wishes, you crazy lunatics. I see that you continue to ignore my calls for less comments, which is how it should be. Minions should be allowed to babble every once in a while. It’s only healthy, after all.

So, what will I be doing for the next year, I wonder? I plan to start the next Skulduggery book sometime in November, and I’m going to take the opportunity to keep you all informed about the writing process. I know there are plenty of writers out there who have been asking for tips, so all my tips will be explained over the course of writing Skulduggery 6. Wow... the sixth book. The end of the second trilogy. After that, only three more books to go. All of those plotlines and themes and stories will have to be tied up, as it all rushes towards the final, epic, conclusion.

Kinda scary, to be honest.




756 comments:

1 – 200 of 756   Newer›   Newest»
Dragona Pine said...

1st comment!

Dragona Pine said...

YES WHOOO!

Dragona Pine said...

Lol... I want a placemat like thaT!

Melissa said...

Skulduggery placemats...

I think the world just imploded from sheer awesomeness.

Happy belated birthday!

Liz said...

CURSE YOU DRAGONA! i wanted first *sulks*

Dragona Pine said...

WHAT 4 books left to go!?


I'm DEVESTATED!


*cries in corner*

Derek... you NEED to sell them placemats, and you need to make mousemats and all other mats in the world EVEN DOOR MATS IN SP!
THEN I COULD SP MY HOUSE UP!

Dragona Pine said...

SP FLAGS!


I'll paint my house with SP!

Much to my parents disaproval...

Dragona Pine said...

Happy 36th Birthday Derek, whenever it was... I hope you like my blogger celebration I gave you... balloons, streamers and MACERANA DANCING WITH MY CLONES AND NINJA GOLDFISH WHOOOO!

Liz said...

awesome blog Mr. Landy! the pictures of your nieces are really cute! and EPIC place mats!

Dragona Pine said...

Yey... my first comment on Derek's blog I've ever had...

Liz said...

Macerana! da-da-da-daaaa-da-da-da-daaaaa

Liz said...

ok, i think im going to type some fanfic now, ill check in later

Nicole Fudge (Nicolette Croga) said...

awesome!

Nicole Fudge (Nicolette Croga) said...

brb dinner ... wish I was eating dinner on those placemats

Dragona Pine said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lizzy don't go... otherwise I'll be a loner unless Florence, Nicolette or anyone else comes on... and Nicolette just talks about games 24/7.

Dragona Pine said...

*sighs*


*starts playing Dominos with ninja goldfish*

Dragona Pine said...

I've sent a friend request to everyone who follows my blog!

Priya said...

Aww, Happy Birthday! Just remember, growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. :D

Liz said...

ta-da! im here!

Dragona Pine said...

I GOT FIRST COMMENT WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


I'm pleased because it's the first time I've got 1st comment on Derek's Blog...

Liz said...

now im gone

Dragona Pine said...

*sighs*

Great I'm a loner...

Nicole Fudge (Nicolette Croga) said...

*gives dragona evils* well I was going to come on but never mind

Dragona Pine said...

Awww... come on Nicolette lol.

Nicole Fudge (Nicolette Croga) said...

I'll just write fan fiction

Milla said...

Happy Birthday Derek, you cann tell your sisters, that they really found a coool present for you. you also can tell them, I want some for my birthday, they can send me one. Or two. Or hundred.

Dragona Pine said...

Yey people are on now!

Liz said...

hey Kallista! you might not want to read the next part of fanfic when i post it because its really, really sad

Dragona Pine said...

Very funny Kallista...

Liz said...

its very sad though

Dragona Pine said...

I'm fine... just thinking...

Tenh said...

Happy Bday Derek!
Wow 36 huh, thats like the age people start looking like walking corpses right?
Just kidding. Hope you had a good one.

Dragona Pine said...

I'm fine with sad things... as I said yesterday I don't feel much emotion... I ought to start doing...

Liz said...

hmmm, ok, ill have Kallista save Bridget

Star Lord said...

Aw sweet!!


HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY DEREK!!!

Dragona Pine said...

I'm just thinking... mostly about my slippers, and my book and other things...

Dragona Pine said...

I've gone all goosepimply again... it's weird...

Star Lord said...

Oh, Derek, I know the plot!!!




The reflection is Darquesse, Val goes: "Oh God!" Then Nye takes the Remnant out of Tanith, everyone's :"Yayyy!" Skulduggery loses his hat: "NOOOO!!!", Valkyrie kills the reflection (Again!), and they all live happily ever after!


Ta-da! You like???

Star Lord said...

And Kallista, Derek's birthday is sweet. It's ALWAYS SWEET!!! And thanks for subscrinbing on my YouTube channel!

Liz said...

i love the plot Sarthacus!

Liz said...

im in and out because im typing

Dragona Pine said...

Kallista, I'm not annoyed with you... and no it's not because of my cloned girlfriends... I'm just sat here thinking...

Nicole Fudge (Nicolette Croga) said...

oh no I have pins and needles in my foot it tickles

Nicole Fudge (Nicolette Croga) said...

ooooooooooooh :/

Nicole Fudge (Nicolette Croga) said...

well I'm going to now byeeeeeeeee

Liz said...

byeee Kallista, the fanfic will be waiting for you when you get back!

Liz said...

byeeeee Nicolette!

Dragona Pine said...

hi.

Liz said...

hi.

Dragona Pine said...

Lol.

Liz said...

Lol yer self, im going for a few minutes so i can finish my fanfic

Dragona Pine said...

Ok...

Liz said...

PART 14 OF FEAR IS UP!!!!!!!!!!!

Star Lord said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcOW7ziZ2r0


My first YouTube video!!!


Please watch it!

Dragona Pine said...

YEY!

Liz said...

hey Sarthacus! awesome video!

Star Lord said...

Thanks, Lizzy!

Liz said...

no prob, read my latest fanfic!

Star Lord said...

Hey, does anybody know how to get good quality videos whe nplaying video games???

Dragona Pine said...

Yes, either get a GameCard, which you plug in, or film it on a camcorder... I use my camcorder because I haven't got a gamecard...

Dragona Pine said...

The film on my blog when I'm playing SWBII and I get a one shot kill on the walker, that was on my camcorder...

Star Lord said...

Er, I think I'll get ganmecard... better quality...

Dragona Pine said...

They both work nearly the same and have nearly the same quality...

Liz said...

i have NO idea what yall talking about! so ill talk about Hetilia! YAY! FANART!

Anonymous said...

36! I knew it. I knew you had to be around my age. Actually, I thought you were 34. I'm 35 and for some reason this age seems REALLY old. I mean, to your NORMAL aged readers, 35 is extremely old, but I don't know why even 40 doesn't seem as old to me as 35 does. Maybe it's because I can no longer say I'm in my early thirties anymore. But at least I don't have to say I'm in my late thirties, like you do. I mean, you don't look like you're in your late thirties! Nevermind, sorry about that. I just wanted to say I'm a struggling writer, in my OLD age and Happy Belated Birthday :D

Liz said...

go America!

http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=Hetalia&order=9&offset=1032&offset=1080#/d22a948

Liz said...

yay!

http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=Hetalia&order=9&offset=1080#/d1x8h8l

Dragona Pine said...

GO ENGLAND!

Liz said...

GO AMERICA!

Star Lord said...

OI!!! GO SCOTLAND!!!


And I can't find a GameCard!

Liz said...

*chants* USA, USA, USA

Dragona Pine said...

They're quite rare to find Sarthacus... there are a lot of them but hardly none for sale...

Star Lord said...

SCOTLAND, SCOTLAND, SCOTLAND, SCOTLAND!!!



And Ireland!

Dragona Pine said...

De de dedede dededede ENGLAND!

Liz said...

America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dragona Pine said...

ENGLAND!


ENGLAND


ENGLAND RULES!

Liz said...

i have called in reinforcements!

Halo pickle! said...

AMERICA!

Liz said...

see!

Liz said...

he agrees with me!

Halo pickle! said...

BRITAN SMELLS BAD BUT THERE CHOCOLATE TASTES GOOD!

Liz said...

dude, to much

Dragona Pine said...

Where from?

Halo pickle! said...

I KNOW!

Dragona Pine said...

Yeh, he agrees because he's your sister... but Florence and Nicolette will agree with me...

Halo pickle! said...

NO CROGA! NOT THE DARK SIDE!

Liz said...

im thinking about recording "the soldier boy's lament" and putting it as my sound clip, what do you think Dragona?

Halo pickle! said...

the other person im not to fussed about.

Liz said...

be nice to Flo!

Halo pickle! said...

hmmm?

Dragona Pine said...

Yes I think you should put the song as your audio clip, and yeh be nice to Florence... because we both have photographic memories... but I'm phycic too...

Halo pickle! said...

wwhhaatt?

Liz said...

no, you're not physic Dragona. unless you WANTED her to have that dream

Liz said...

btw, i was totally allowed that

Dragona Pine said...

I am phycic... I tried sending her a telepathic message after the war and it obviously worked... it's not my fault...


AND NOT ONE WORD OF THAT BRIDGET!

Liz said...

who, moi?

June Clarence said...

Okay, so I kind of missed the whole birthday-thing. Therefore: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
Those placemaps are SO cool! Wouldn`t have thought your sisters had it in them...woah.
Your nieces are extremely cute, by the way.
So, you`re going to start Skulduggery 6 in November? You know what you should do? NaNoWriMo! Don`t tell me you haven´t heard of it. If you haven`t: GOOGLE NOW! I swear, it`s fabulous. Insanity at its best. I`m attending, too, for the second time. Can`t wait. Only one week to go.
So...did I get this right? Skulduggery is made of three trilogies? Making it 9 books alltogether? Meaning we`ll have FOUR MORE BOOKS waiting for us?! OH MY GOD!!! Is it MY birthday today or did they decide to change Christmas date? It IS the 24th, today, after all...
YAY! For you! And your cats are hilarious. Could you post a picture of your cat looking out from behind the desktop?
Keep going!

Dragona Pine said...

Not one word...


But I can read the future... in visions but it's normally about myself, I can sense things, like links and what happens in the future... but that's it... people overestimate being phycic... but a photographic memory is uncontrollable, so is the visions with being phycic, but the sensing I can control... but it makes you really tired, then a headache, migrane and I haven't tried it beyond that...

Halo pickle! said...

brb, food time.pancakes.yums.

Dragona Pine said...

Ok...

Liz said...

whoa, thats really cool. love the forest, and i sometimes see odd things when im walking around, but then they vanish

Halo pickle! said...

not yet.

Dragona Pine said...

Lol... it might be haunted... oooooooooooo

Liz said...

its not haunted, ghosts dont leave foot prints in the mud

Dragona Pine said...

And not one word of that Bridget... I don't need to explain for obvious reasons...

Halo pickle! said...

everyone knows that there is a sciapod in our forest. google it.

Liz said...

i wont tell(to many people)

Star Lord said...

WAAA!!!


I just made a music vid for SP and Derek!!!


Wow, it's 5 min long!!! I'll post it in a moment.

Halo pickle! said...

cool bolt.

Star Lord said...

Britain is AWSOME!!!!



Because Scotland's in it!

Dragona Pine said...

Cool Sarthacus...



And Lizzy... NO ONE!

Halo pickle! said...

almost breakfast time. gotta go soon.

Halo pickle! said...

brb.

Liz said...

*picks up phone* im going to call... and tell...























i am having WAY to much fun with this

Dragona Pine said...

YES BRITAIN RULES!

Star Lord said...

I have what my friend and I call the "Predator Instinct". I'll look up, be alert when something/someone is right behind me, or is about to do something. I have brilliant hearing, and I can smell things quite well.


Does that make me sound like an animal?

Wonka said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEREK!!
wow, i may kick ur placemats.
i saw the 'happy birthday uncle Derek' thing and went AAAWWW!!

ur nieces r cute.

Dragona Pine said...

Lizzy... it shouldn't be funny...

Star Lord said...

Dragona, you're invading FLo's dreams AGAIN??!!


I won't tell, as long as you watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=youtube_gdata


2nd vid!

Dragona Pine said...

I've got a chillblane on my foot and it hurts like hell...

Wonka said...

wait, ur 36??!!
ur younger than my dad yet....
nah, never mind :)

Dragona Pine said...

Sarthacus... I don't know... she left before I came on this morning...

Liz said...

i get all twitchy when someone is behind me and im most likely to hit them if they dont move. and i love fighting, so ill hit you hard

Wonka said...

poor poor Dragon Boy.
hey, u shouldnt deserve 1st comment: u have a tendency to blow people up!

Dragona Pine said...

*nuclear bombs wonka*

Liz said...

*calls Vicky* hey Vick! so yeah, there's this guy on the blog im always on and he sent a telepathic message to Flo. ad guess what she dreamed...

Wonka said...

yeah, see?

Dragona Pine said...

Lizzy... you would hit people hard... but you wouldn't hit me at all...

Because people are scared of me hehe...


Because I'm 6ft 3 and a half tall, training in martial art, can pick most people I come across with one hand, feels no pain, shows no emotion and can throw people like a javellin and I took down 30 people in less than 10 seconds... ah... so that's why people are scared of me...

Last tuesday someone asked if I was a robot...

Wonka said...

hey Dragon Boy if Fluff is having dreams about you, then i so called it.







there IS something going on between the two of you.....

Wonka said...

and i would so hit you- i aint scared of no one.

a...part from Dr Nye, he really scares the bejeezus outta me, as i have said 3000000 times. bcuz he does :S

Star Lord said...

Oh, I didn't know Dragona was THAT modest!


;D

Liz said...

im 5 feet 7 inches, a kenpo karate student, a street fighter, and i wont fight fair.

you should run now.

Dragona Pine said...

Lol...


Wonka, you would be scared when you're flying through the air...

Wonka said...

hee hee.

Sarthacus why has the samauri dude on your profile pic have no head???

Wonka said...

@ Dragon Boy

nah, id just displace the air and go WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Wonka said...

so mlegh

Star Lord said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=youtube_gdata



DRAGONA!!! WATCH IT!!!

Liz said...

bye yall, i need to eat breakfast now, be back later!

Dragona Pine said...

Lizzy, and I'm phycic and often have visions when I'm about to get hurt so I can know what your going to do, and I have a photographic memory which lets me see the moves you used against me and tell when your going to do it again...

Wonka said...

yey im a shortie compared to you guys! im about 5.3/ 5.4

Wonka said...

breakfast? now? but ive just had lunch....

Dragona Pine said...

Wonka... you would REALLY run away if you saw me... I FEEL NO PAIN!

Wonka said...

oh, time zones....

Wonka said...

yeah, well you dont exactly have balls of steel. no boy does, as i have found out.

Wonka said...

and when im wearing my combat boots...

Wonka said...

wha ha ha just the thought of you, curled up in agony while i repeatedly stamp on your manly parts really warms my heart *grins evilly*

Wonka said...

ew purple chipped nail polish tastes gross :X

Star Lord said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=youtube_gdata


It's my second video, WATCH IT!!!!!


Please?

Dragona Pine said...

Ah... you see, I do have balls of steel, NOT LITTERALLy, I'm not scared of anything, and I'm fast, so you wouldn't get the CHANCE to do that.

Wonka said...

nom nom nom *chews on thumb to get rid of rail polish*

wheres your 'witty' comeback, eh Dragona?

Wonka said...

oh, there

Wonka said...

riight.
knowing u, ud probably cheat and get a handgun out or something.

Star Lord said...

Jeez! Why do you ALWAYS ARGUE!!!

Harly Ryker said...

Happy birthday, Derek!!!!! I was thinking what strange things your sisters might buy you, but the placemats are positively awesomesauce.
In other words, I got a pair of boots yesterday, and I feel like I am wearing elf boots. So, in the run up to christmas, I am charging a fiver an hour to come to your house and pretend to be an elf.
Stay Weird!
Harly Ryker.

Dragona Pine said...

I'm good with witty comebacks hehe...

Wonka said...

but then...

i would do a Matrix dodge and then but Trinity to shame and beat the *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP* out of you!

Dragona Pine said...

No, I wouldn't cheat, guns aren't my style ANYWAY... but I don't need to cheat... I would win anyway...

Star Lord said...

Derek, what time will the next book be set?

Halloween? Easter? OH!!! Valkyrie's birthday!!!



That'd be pretty cool!!!

So... how about it?

And can yo uplease make a GOOD SP video game for the Xbox360?? And PS3...

Wonka said...

no, u really r not.

they involve killing/maiming/torturing/blowing things up, not a few words that make people annoyed and speechless.

Dragona Pine said...

*punches Wonka and knocks her out*

Ah... so that's why I don't punch people very often...

Star Lord said...

Watch the vid?

Wonka said...

an dyou wouldnt win, cos ud feel sorry for me and not want to hurt me. and then id kill you, or something along those lines.

crap comeback, my boy.

Polaris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wonka said...

*opens eyes and kicks Dragon Boy in face and bollocks and he curls up in agony*

and that is probably why i dont do THAT very often

Star Lord said...

I've had an idea!¬


I'm gonna write about what might've happened if the Remnant had stayed inside Valkyrie and given her a destructive mind!!!



And watch the video, PLEASE STOP ARGUING OR I'LL KILL MYSELF!!!

Wonka said...

*gasp* the Golden God is active! he just removed a comment!!

Dragona Pine said...

*throws wonka whos unconcious like a javellin*

Ah... an unconcious body tried to kick me...

Wonka said...

Yey! Bolt is suicidal because of us! oh... wait....

Wonka said...

i was not unconcios! i was feinting!

Star Lord said...

Wonka, Housmouse removed it, if Derek had it'd say: "This comment has been removed by a blog administrator".

Wonka said...

and i really need to try and keep you on the ground for longer

Wonka said...

oh. right. so housemouse removed it, not Derek....

omg im a moron.

Dragona Pine said...

Wonka, remember the peace treaty we made...

Wonka said...

its not often i say that, actually.

Wonka said...

HEY! YOU STARTED IT!! *kicks Dragon Boy in the face for breaking treaty*

Star Lord said...

Er... Derek, will yo ucome to Scotland??? Please??? Even my dad wants yo uto come, and THAT'S saying something!!

Wonka said...

and you cant kick me back, as that kick just re-sealed our treaty thing

Star Lord said...

NEW PAGE!!!

Wonka said...

um, yeah. how astute of you to notice

Dragona Pine said...

Ok Wonka... fair enough...

Star Lord said...

... Derek, why do you have a book on "First Names"?????

Wonka said...

yey! i kicked you and you did nothing about it!!

*hugs Dragona then jumps back in disgust*

um, no offence, but i aint doing that again

Star Lord said...

Will SOMEBODY watch the video now!?!?!?

Wonka said...

yeah sure post up the link again?

Star Lord said...

Brb, lunch...

Wonka said...

damn you and damn hunger

Dragona Pine said...

Ok Sarthacus...

Wonka said...

ugh i have purple nail polish shavings on my thumb!

Star Lord said...

B.

Star Lord said...

Damn...

Star Lord said...

Me...?

Wonka said...

hey Dragon Boy wat u dressing up as for halloween?

Liz said...

im backkk! seriously people, "balls of steel" WTF

Wonka said...

oh, and Bolt.

Dragona Pine said...

I haven't got a clue... maybe a Predator... I have the mask and helmet you see...

Wonka said...

and Lizzy

Naomi Wiflath said...

Ah, Happy [Late] Birthday!] :D

So sad my comments are usually drowned out by the time i actually see a blog was posted. LOL

Wonka said...

oh, im dressing up as an emo fairy. or maybe just and emo- i have no wings

Star Lord said...

I'm just being completely black, sneaking up behind people and giving them the fright of their lives!!

Halo pickle! said...

hey bolt, im listening to your video and its AWESOME!! holy cheeseburger that is an awesome song. EPIC!!!!!!

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