Tour Blog #4!

I’m going home!


It’s here! The moment is finally here! I get to hop on a plane in the morning, then hop off and hop on another plane, then sit in that plane for twelve hours, then hop off, with slightly less energy, and hop onto another, and sit in that one for thirteen hours, and step off, no longer hopping, and shuffle onto yet another plane, but I only have to sit on that one for one hour, and then I limp off, stagger a few steps on Irish soil, and fall onto my face, delirious with exhaustion, confusion, relief, and befuddlement.

It has been a good tour. These last few days in New Zealand have been great. I was in Auckland, and then Wellington, and I signed for hours and talked for hours and I even had a half hour FREE, so I went to the Weta workshop, the special effects people for Lord of the Rings and tonnes of other huge movies. I got to walk around their shop and talk about movies and guns and movie guns, and it was utterly cool.

New Zealand is a staggeringly beautiful place, and I’m sure it’ll be sad to see me go.

This tour has, I have to admit, been brilliant. I got to meet so many readers and most of them appeared to be a little bit nuts. Hong Kong started it all off in grand style, then it reached fever pitch in Australia, and New Zealand really stepped up to make sure I finished this tour on a high. I feel I should thank Sandra, my New Zealand publicist, for taking me around this place, and especially Jordan, my Australian publicist, for putting up with me for all that time. It’s kind of weird to spend ten or twelve days with someone, intensively, and then hug at the end of it and walk off, without the possibility of seeing them again in a few weeks. I think… good God, I think I actually made friends with somebody.

Yikes. Must not do that ever again. My other publicists will get jealous.

I feel I have learned a lot over the past few weeks, about the world, about people, about myself. I have learned that sometimes we all make mistakes, but if we judge someone by the… no wait… I learned that it doesn’t matter what we say, it’s what we do when we’re faced with… no, sorry, that’s not it either… I learned, I think I learned, I’m pretty sure I learned that I’m incredibly awesome, and people love me, even when I’m talking absolute nonsense.

And that, ladies and gentlemen of this blog-reading world, is the most important lesson of all.