Saturday, March 27, 2010

Tour Blog #3!

Everything’s happening in Melbourne this weekend. The Grand Prix kicks off, as does the football league and the Comedy Festival, not to mention the Flower and Garden Festival AND the Food and Wine Festival. Yep indeedy, this city is buzzing. People have come from miles around to be a part of it. But mostly, and I don’t think I’m wrong here, they’ve come to see ME.


Sure, we couldn’t fit ALL of them into the events and book signings, but we tried our best, and I got to meet a whole bunch of weirdoes.

Readers. I mean READERS. Ahem.

Some of them came dressed up as favourite characters. There were plenty of Skulduggerys and Valkyries, a few Taniths, one memorable Ghastly, and two or three Cleavers. There were even, bizarrely enough, two very special girls who came dressed as the Canary Car and the Purple Menace. It’s not often you meet people who are willing to walk the streets of a major city dressed as cars, and I am honoured I got that chance.

Then there was the lad who came dressed as the Grotesquery, wrapped in toilet paper/bandages. The amusing thing is, this wasn’t the first time he’d worn that outfit. He had turned up at the store a few weeks earlier, wandered in dressed as this horrible monster, and became curious as to why no one else seemed to be wearing a costume. His father, it seemed, had got the date wrong.

He’d turned up on the wrong day. In fancy dress. Oh how I laughed.

The second time around, however, he WON the fancy dress competition, and got a Nintendo DS for his trouble.

I still laughed, of course.

This tour has been staggering. I swear, if my ego wasn’t already at maximum level, this would have pushed it up there. The enthusiasm from the readers and the librarians and teachers and bookstore folk has been jaw-dropping.

But I am tired. Oh, I am tired. I’m heading to New Zealand tomorrow, and then two days later I’m going home. HOME. To Ireland, where the weather is sensibly Irish, where I can pet my dogs and kick my cats and poke my nieces with sharpened sticks. Where I can play video games and watch DVDs and buy comics and talk on the phone without each call costing a fortune. Where I can SLEEP IN, and spend all day alone if that is what I want to do. Where I can drive MYSELF anywhere I want to go, and not be DRIVEN in lovely cars and waited on and indulged and have everything paid for and… and…

Actually, this tour hasn’t been bad at all. In fact, I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to adjust to normal life after this. Jordan, my pretty Australian publicist, has basically been running my life for the past twelve days. She tells me where to go, what to do, and what time to do it at, and I do it. She brings me from place to place, consulting the sacred ITINERARY every step of the way. Every so often there is a gap in the Itinerary which says “Leisure Time”, where Jordan leaves me by myself. I think she assumes that I go to my hotel room and answer emails or write or sleep or relax- but actually I have completely forgotten how to behave when she isn’t around, so I stand in the same spot for an hour or so, terrified, until Leisure Time is over and she returns to me to take my hand and guide me to our next appointment.

I’m fairly certain that when I go back to normal life I’ll have to go through a few days of standing around looking perplexed, waiting for someone to tell me what to do. I’m not sure I’ll like it very much.

I’ve taken a few pictures while I’ve been over here, so as soon as I figure out how to post them in this accursed blog, I shall do so, and you shall see some blurry, indistinct images and you shall marvel at my photograph-taking ability. It will be AMAZING. Or possibly not.

For those of you who care, my dogs are doing well, according to Laura. Apart from Sherlock, who managed to sprain his ankle. I’ve never heard of a dog spraining his ankle before, but Sherlock somehow managed it. Frankly, I’m stunned. I never thought he’d move fast enough to sprain ANYTHING. I haven’t heard anything about the cats.

And that’s it, another blog over with. You may weep.

31 comments:

h.tea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
simallyher said...

Lol, I've heard of cats spraining their tails, so a dog spraining something can't be that hard to imagine, funny yes, mildly hilarious, but possible.

My dad, great man, came with me to your Dymock's gig because me, being socially terified of people, told him he was. He loved it, thought you were hilarious and actually started reading the first book on the train back to Bendigo that night, I was stunned. He only reads non-fiction, freemasonary books that I buy him.

I was on a tour around England and Scotland over Jan/Feb and I understand slightly how you feel, we were told were to go, how to get there, how long we were there for and occasionally that we got free time...it was amazing! We're going to Ireland when it's slightly warmer than freezing lol

Anyway, enjoy New Zealand, the south island is stunningly beautiful and almost magical :D

~Sim

Holly said...

THIRD!!! I've been waiting feverishly for you to post again. Just to let you know that my devilish plans for stalkerish booksigning attire are well underway. Photoshop? Fabric paints? Need I say more? *cackles*

Carina said...

Wow sounds like life is going grand, (except for the tiny fact of not having all the luxuries of your trip)
Your writing is amazing (I just wanted to say, cheated by ordering book from new zealand and got it in US) Briliant job! The ever MODEST Skulduggery. :3

Can't wait to see your pictures Mr. Landy!

theflippyone said...

Oh wow. Biggest disappointment ever. Did you forget your promise to mention the brilliant artist and future-wife Johanna? I think you did. I can't believe you forgot ME, the wonderful person who drew you a picture of Valkyrie, then proposed to you. And you forgot Emma, your younger more attractive twin, who shares both your birthday and Skulduggery's death day. I am tutting as I type this. Tut, tut, tut.
But at leat you remember Grotesquery boy. He was pretty damn cool.

Mad Hatter said...

Wait, what? Your dog SPRAINED his ANKLE? Who's ever heard of that happening before?
Lucky you and your 'being in other countries' thingy. I haven't been outside my country for almost a year! Ehm... That sentence somehow sounded wrong when I read it out loud... But it was awesome, where I was. Poland rules.
On the other hand, I will be going to Norway this summer, so go me!
Also: My Taekwondo team has become the Icelandic champion (is that how to write it? I'm not sure) and despite everything, I wasn't even compeating. Being sick is dreadfull...
Lucky cosplaying people... I want to do that >.<

sakura.c said...

Well you ought to simply announce unto us the day before she leaves you so we may give you some orders thus you may not have to stand around in a questioning manner all of the day. ^.^

Skyril

Thomas said...

I get to see you tomorrow. I am very excited. I would come dressed up as something, but I was unaware people would be dressing up. Oh well. I shall repay you with cheese. I hope you enjoy the cheese I bring you.

Melissa said...

Yes, derek, Melbourne is lovely, isn't it? I bet it was just so good, so MEMORABLE that you met the also WONDERFUL me. Have fun in New Zealand. I know how much you love your fans and ME, so please, dont cease to writing blogs!
Love Melissa Snooks

madison said...

Before I began posting, allow me to lose my usual sophistication...Dang, dude! You know me as Tara by the way from that name thing at the top, however I'm using a different computer so I have different profiles. But back to my moment of unsophistication; Dang, dude! And yet, even when I'm not sophisticated, I'm sophisticated. But back to the point...you should visit the United States. You would see some of the worst dressed people in the world. Yeah, since everyone's like broke up here now, people would probaly have to like,mug wide brimmed hats off people to just pass off as Skulduggery and have to jack a butter knife off someone in order to go as Tanith. And now I have no more funny exagerrations about my country so I'm done with that...but no seriosly...you make the Americans feel bad since you never visit us(despite the fact this is your first tour) and you give us ugly books covers. Well, I'm done complaining.

Dani said...

It was a pleasure meeting you at Readings on Saturday :-) I only wish I had more time to pick your brains (my own fault I know). Next time you visit Melbs (say September!) you'll have to make sure Jordan gives you more then an hour a day 'leisure time' there's much more to see here then people dressed up as your creations! Enjoy your lovely Irish weather! (sarcasm)

Tanya said...

Thank you SO MUCH for coming to Melbourne! Love your books, and was a pleasure hearing what you have to say about them. Please come back down under whenever you like, we'll always make you feel welcome!!

Tanya
xoxox

Avotica said...

I hope you have fun in New Zealand. Don't have the energy to write anything else...

Mai Boley said...

*laughing to high heaven* oh dear, i think i sprained sumfing. oh well. LOL man just the sentence of poking ur nieces with a sharpened stick sent me reeling XD and the grotesquery guy- HA! i would probably laugh in his face accidentally >_> it's rude, but sumtimes u can not help it. hope u have an awesome time in New Zealand and wen u return, u might figure out how in the hell ur dog sprained his ankle ^_^ she's hiding something- she probably was trying to play with him, and it was too much for the poor thing and sprained it :P ah well, it's a mystery.

sakura.c said...

Obviously I meant my previous statement with as much respect as I could ever possibly muster.As you know I am forever your faithful minion and never would I even consider declaring myself above your command for the purpose of giving you orders (or any purpose for that matter)!I merely meant that when you may be standing around "perplexed" and need assistance I can certainly assure you that we will be here extremely prepared to provide that which you requisite ^.^.

Skyril

Monique said...

My grandparents only just got back from New Zealand, that's pretty ironic! A dog spraining its ankle? ...Haven't heard that one before...
Good to hear your happy to go home to LOVINGLY kick your precious cats. Happy travels!

JB Hi Fi said...

*weep, weep*

I send my regards from Adelaide and my best (and completely astounded) admiration to those girls in the Yellow Canary and Purple Menace costumes. Never would have thought of that one!

Tell Sherlock to get better soon and give Mable a new name. Please.

Oh, and give your nieces an extra poke for me *smile*
JB

Molly said...

My mom wont let me get the fourth book until we go to Ireland. I even offered to pay for it myself and she wont let me! And if i did go seek onto the World Wide Web and order it myself, she would get ticked off and hide the book somewhere to torment me.

Therefore, you must consider my proposal for doing a tour to the US and stoping in Texas. My mom even said you can stay at my house:)

PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!.....




Well, good blog anyways....

Molly said...

oh yes, and I'm a half-Irish Ninja already.... So I would make an excellent real life fighter.... I would very much enjoy kicking magic butt.

Bethany said...

Perhaps Sherlock didn't move fast ENOUGH to move himself from harm's way and that's how he sprained his ankle?

By the way, Mr Landy. I have a bone to pick with your touring Irish self. I was under the impression that Dark Days wasn't being released until April 1st in Ireland/Northern Ireland. I thought this until I walked into a book shop and saw the book. I was ecstatic until I released I hadn't enough money to actually get the book. I blame my unprepared state on you.

Have fun with that guilt on your hands.

Jinx said...
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Nocturnal Flying Mammal Man said...

So, Mr. Landy, do you like being the center of attention? For some reason, I think so...

*stares at blog*

Hah...ha...HAAAAHAHAHAA! *falls off chair*

Dressed up as the cars? And the Grotesquery?

Haahaha..heh... That's good. I would have just laughed in their faces anyway.

Don't stand around too long doing nothing or you won't finish the next book on time. *horrified gasp*

How on earth did your dog manage to sprain his ankle?

Oh, yes....So you won't be disappointed....

*weep, weep*

Tess said...

out of all the people you saw at your signings you didn't mention me. Rememebr, the poofy haired girl that yelled out VALKYRIE IS A MAN?! very disappointed.
i still love you and skulduggery, but still.
VERY angry.
OK, im over it.

Octaboona Ambrosius: Horace said...

Hello there.

Octaboona Ambrosius: Horace said...

What's so great about the number three?

Octaboona Ambrosius: Horace said...

Every post.

Octaboona Ambrosius: Horace said...

23.

Octaboona Ambrosius: Horace said...

33.

Octaboona Ambrosius: Horace said...

43.

Octaboona Ambrosius: Horace said...

Achievement completed.

Clara L. Crowley, Hotel Manager, The Majestic Pirate Crowley, Blogland Award Winner, Teenage Librarian said...

This blog post has been documented, recorded, and filed into the Blogland Archive on December 8, 2014.