Wednesday, August 17, 2016

American Monsters Tour

The third and final book in the Demon Road series is almost upon us... (of course, if you're in Ireland, it may be upon you already...)

Tour details are below. If you can make it, AWESOME. If we're not going anywhere near you, hopefully we will at some stage in the future.


2,588 comments:

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Alastair Cruciatus said...

*they are still, and silent*

*then Roshanne will appear between them, with a ghost at her side* *she will lift a gun to Leon's head, and fire* *she wasn't called by Niccolò and Alastair, and doesn't know the details of the situation* *but she has a general idea, and is making her best judgement call*

Adra Cruciatus said...

*In the moments that pass between Roshanne first appearing and firing, Leon would have sucked up the rest of the energy from Marlene, and twisted his wrist, and the light blue tendrils intercept the bullets* *On the floor, Marlene's body jerks from the impact*
*His mouth twists into distain* I expected more from you all. Well... I was going to perhaps explain myself- to try to come with a compromise, but I see that that isn't going to work.

I'll have you know that she is still going to work beneath me, because she owes me at least that much. But I suppose if you want any more information just ask her.

*He kicks his boot, and sends Marlene over the balcony ledge, and directly through glass table below*

*The blue energy curls up his arm, and he steps back, and is gone*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*the ghost will rush through the house to catch her*

*Alastair is beyond angry at Leon and Roshanne, but he has to make sure Adra is safe before anything else* *he will rush over to the balcony to take her from the ghost, and bring her back inside, setting her down* *brushes her hair from her face, looking her over carefully* Adra, my darling, are you alright?

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Adra is incredibly drunk, and confused, and weak* I'm fine. *Slowly, the whiteness of her hair begins to seep back, replacing her original black color* I feel tired..

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*presses a kiss to her forehead* Do you know what he did to you?

Adra Cruciatus said...

I think so.. *Splays her hand against the table, but nothing happens* *Lets her hand fall* *She might just be inebriated* *Makes a small sound of displeasure*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*takes her hand* I am so sorry... What can I do for you?

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Adra breathes out slowly* I don't know. I don't even know what I am supposed to do at this point.

...
I'm very drunk. *Offers that like an explanation, though it wouldn't do much of anything to help the situation*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Do you want me to fix that for you?

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Frowns a little, then shakes her head* No.

*Glances around* Can we go home? I don't want to have this conversation here. *She's sure this will become an argument- one she doesn't want to have in front of her friends*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Yes. Of course. *he glances back at Roshanne* I don't know why you came here, but just call next time. I'll let you know when we have this sorted out. *then Niccolò will step forward and bring them home*

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Once there, Adra goes upstairs into their bedroom, where she takes a glass of brandy from the vanity* *She takes a few large sips of it* *She can't possibly get more drunk*

Leon is going to come back. He's expecting me to do my job, and he isn't one to bluff about threats.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Adra, I'm sorry for- everything that just happened. You know more about this than I do, and I will do whatever you think is best, as long as that isn't to stand by and watch you suffer.

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Runs a hand through her hair* I don't know what that is, Alastair. As far as I know, Leon wants me to kill people for him- people that threaten his rise back to power. I don't know of any way that could help you feel better.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*his voice is soft, still* *he just loves her* Alright. Then we can try to figure something out. Do you, or does anyone else know how he makes his dolls? If we could try to find a way to sever connections with them, it would remove the immediate threat.

Adra Cruciatus said...

From what I can tell, the dolls aren't just symbols of the person to which they impersonate. Because we're talking about Leon Paris here, I wouldn't be surprised if each doll had a little piece of their person's energy inside of them. But this is a newer development in Paris' abilities. Last time I saw him was when I escaped-

-Salvatore laughing after Adra as she escapes down the hallway, away from him. His thumbs are hooked in the loops of his trousers, and he walks at a leisurely pace behind her. Her blood has coated the end of the tire iron that he is gripping.-

-from him in 1899. Back then, he only had a few abilities, though they were infamous for their power. One of them is *she touches a symbol on the wall*


*Nothing happens*

Taking magic.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*pauses* If someone's mind were not inhabiting their body, would he still be able to hurt them, or just their physical form?

Adra Cruciatus said...

Alastair, I don't know. I've never encountered this kind of alchemy before, so I wouldn't even be able to explain how Leon does it. I'm as completely in the dark as you are. *Takes her glass again, and drinks some more* *Drinking helps*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Alright. *he pauses again* *wishes he could experiment with that on himself, but it wouldn't work for too many reasons* Is there anyone else who might know more about his abilities?

Noelle said...

No one that is alive. Anyone who might have known was probably destroyed along with Gaia.

Noelle said...

*Adra moves across the room, and opens the windows so that the night can come in* *She doesn't bother with the main lights* *Peers out, then, far below at the ground*

Noelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he will walk over to stand next to her, looking out* Is something out there?

Noelle said...

No. As far as I can tell... no. *Takes a step back, and goes to refill her drink* *Her walk weaves as she goes, but she has yet to fall over* this blows.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Yes... *closes his eyes, trying to think* So we don't know whether moving the mind from the body would work. We might be able to stop him from using magic, but we would need him to be very distracted for a few minutes.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Meanwhile, in another world entirely*
*Kindred Wander sits in the kitchen. The pristine surfaces shine, the sunlight that spears through perfectly transparent windows bouncing off them and down her optic nerves. A light breeze blows crisp air through the modest room*
*Kindred's grey eyes gaze out of the window into the garden. As she peruses her hosts' topiary, her thoughts drift to the boy she left three worlds back. She doesn't miss him, so much as regret that he isn't with her. She can't help but worry about whether he's safe. Her gaze drifts down to her nails; she scoops the dirt that was trapped there. The grime falls to the shimmering floor below and Kindred can't help but feel a little bad about desecrating something so lovingly tended to as these tiles.*
*A man walks into the room and beams a glorious smile at kindred. He looks like Trip, if you squint. He's about an inch taller, perhaps three or four times more muscular too. Across his head was a lattice of scars, forged into some runic language Kindred couldn't read. He gracefully planted a mug of blissfully familiar tea before her, before taking a seamless sip of his own.*

ParaTrip: I'm sure Adra will be along in just a monent, she just had to attend to something. I haven't seen you in over a year, you had that guy with you, *he clicks his fingers, snaps blasting across the table* you know, uh-

Kindred: Shrug. Yeah he's uh, he's around. *she looks down at her tea and sips*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Shrug should be in asterixes but there we go what can you do in this cruel, unforgiving life sometimes?

Noelle said...

*Adra speaks* All of this is to say that, of course, he doesn't try to kill us in the process. *She has a knife in her hand- one from her pocket- and she twirls it around in her hand* And that he doesn't know how to control us with his puppets.
..
I think we should arrange a meeting with him.

-
*ParaAdra enters the room, then, walking to her husband, and kissing his head briefly* Kindred, how are you, my dear? I apologize for not being able to greet you before- I was finishing up some paperwork.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Kindred smiles, the uncanny valley making the scene before her a little unsettling. Nevertheless, she is glad of a change of subject*
Kindred: Don't worry about it, it's good to see you as well. I'm doig pretty well, actually. I've seen a lot of stunning things on my travels, really grew as a person. I've learned a lot. Yourself? *she drinks again, now painfully aware of how much her dirty hands are staining the tablecloth*

Noelle said...

*ParaAdra doesn't mind so much for the tablecloth- it can be washed* Well. Cara is entering preschool soon, and she's grown a lot. And, of course, we have another little one on the way soon. *Smiles; she isn't showing at all, but she knows* What brings you here, my dear?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Kindred: Oh, you know. All things must come to an end I suppose. You can only see so many fantastical things before the only thing that seems special is something actually familiar. *she laughs, almost bitterly. ParaTrip lets out a small chuckle in agreement. Kindred can feel his contentment, his sheer joy at his domestic situation waft over the table. She can recall the last time she felt that way*

Adra Cruciatus said...

*ParAdra looks between the two of them, confused* I... I'm afraid I don't understand.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

What will we say?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Kindred: I suppose I didn't explain it all that well last time, did I? I went on a sort of journey of self discovery across the dimensions. I nicked one of Trip's artifacts and went out to see the multiverse. It's finished now, thiugh. I'm going home.

*Kindred feels the waves of warmth from ParaTrip become entangled in mild concern, not something she was hoping to illicit*

ParaTrip: So if you are returning home, presumably without Shrug, for whatever reason, how will he return?

*ParaTrip's sense of genuine concern for this boy overwhelms Kindred a little*
Kindred: He's making his own way back. I'm sure.

Adra Cruciatus said...

Ask him why he is having me kill people for him -he's more than proven that he is himself capable- and perhaps come to a compromise. *Her hands clench* He stole my alchemy, and I would very much like to have it returned to me.

Adra Cruciatus said...

*ParAdra gives her a stern look* Kindred, tell us where he is, and what happened.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Kindred: It's nothing sinister. We just split up. We grew as people and just so happened to grow apart. He insisted I take the stone and vanished one day in the night. That was a long time ago. I saw him on a couple of worlds after that. He seemed to be making his way all right, we didn't talk all that much. *she looks down at ger tea*

Trip, my Trip, once told me that an emotional alchemist must be honest with themselves. If you lie to yourself about your feelings, only damage can ensue. I knew how I felt. I couldn't lie to myself about it.

*Now all she feels from ParaTrip is sadness, the kind of guilty sadness only felt by those doing well while others tell them that they are doing poorly*

Adra Cruciatus said...

*ParAdra, as ever, leans over and takes Kindred's hand* Where is your Trip?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Where he always is, I imagine. I haven't really gad the chance to talk to him while I've been away. Why'd you ask?

*ParaTrip's expression turns grave*
ParaTrip: We've been worried about him since the business with Cruciatus. He's only visited us a couple of times and he seems to have taken the outcome poorly.

*Kindred feels saddened at the memory of the dark time. The scene around her seemed so far removed from the shattered relationship*

Adra Cruciatus said...

*ParAdra nods* Yes.. That, and the fact that I think, at least for you, it would be good to see him. It might help you feel better.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*pauses again, thinking* Do you think- even if we can't get rid of his magic, is there any reason why we shouldn't be able to bind it? If we could keep him without magic, even temporarily, we could work out something more permanent.

It isn't that I don't think talking to him would work- I'm just afraid that he'll still want to hurt you, and I don't want to risk any more harm coming to you.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*ParaTrip sighs sadly in agreement*

*Kindred lifts her mug to sip her tea. The temperature in the room seems to have dropped a few degrees. She fumbles her grip on the handle and the tea spills out over the formerly pristine table*

Kindred: I'm so sorry, oh my. *she stumbkes over to the counter to look for something to clean with*

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Adra nods* I know... I don't see why binding his magic wouldn't work. Perhaps we could trap him in such a way- for example, he might walk into the room and we activate a symbol on the floor that traps him- similar to how I captured you in the library all those years ago.

-
*ParAdra shakes her head* Allow me. *She will get a rag, and clean up the spill* Would it help if we came back with you?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Yes, that's just what I thought of, too. Do you still have that room that you made before- where you kept me after I came back, so I wouldn't be able to destroy the sigils that bound me?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Kindred whips around, suddenly feeling so very uncomfortable and out of place. The perfectly aligned paintings on the walls seem to stare at her handiwork on the table as something other. It all seems wrong, too perfect*

Kindred: I- I have to get going. Sorry about the table. *she rushes into the hallway, grabbing her bags. She knocks the leg out from a side table by accident, sending its occupants tumbling to the ground.* So sorry! *she has to get out, it's all wrong, too easy*

*ParaTrip follows behind her, picking his way through the nucknacks and heirlooms on the floor*
ParaTrip: Leaving already? I thought that you planned to stay the night?

Noelle said...

*She nods* Yes. But if he is coming here, we need to send the kids and yours and Niccolòs family away. We can't risk them getting hurt.

Noelle said...

*ParAdra appears in the hallway* Kindred! *She begins to run after the girl*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Kindred gets out of the door and begins to sprint away from the perfection behind her. She's young and spry, running faster than Adra could hope to catch. ParaTrip gently lays a hand on her shoulder, knowing she'd try anyway if he didn't*

ParaTrip: YOUR FATHER'S RIGHT,KINDRED. YOU MUSN'T DENY YOUR OWN FEELINGS! *after he's done bellowing his advice at the fleeing girl he turns back to ParAdra, solemn* You can only do so much, my love. Some wounds have to heal on their own. She knows where we are, if she needs us.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he nods* Of course. Niccolò can look after them- perhaps we can send them to the Sanctuary, to another bound area, so that if he does try to come for them he will have to do it without magic, and get past all the guards first.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Actually- perhaps we should keep Niccolò with us. If we can't come to some kind of an arrangement, we might still need his magic. But we should send someone to look after them.

Noelle said...

*Adra nods* Good... we will do that.. *She finishes her drink, and sets it down* *She considers pouring herself another glass*

-
*ParAdra nods, taking a deep breath* You're right.

Noelle said...

*Adra nods from where she is* That's probably a better idea..

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Is there anyone in particular you'd like to send?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Kindred is soon deep in the woods. She always ensures to be as out if sight as she can be when shunting. That was troublesome in the dimension where everyone lived in glass houses. The whole city was nigh seethrough. She shakes her head at the memory and pushes deeper into the copse. She must shunt in the exact right location, otherwise she will most likely dit*

*There was always something wrong about this world. Everything tyrned out so well for everybody. Every loser seemed to get a consolation prize and a new lease on life, nobody ever seemed to be unlucky. It wasn't right. It wasn't the way things were*

*Shrug had been with her in tge glass city. Things were already vecoming strained by then. They had gotten together as teenagers, it was only healthy that they'd ended up wanting different things. She was at peace with it, she just hoped ge was safe*

*She reached the shunt point. For a brief moment Kindred considered going out to look for Shrug. He must be out there somewhere. Withdrawing the stone from her bag she was reminded that it had just one charge left. She could recharge it, of course. She'd done it before. She could go out looking for him, bring him hime safe, moving from world to world, recharging when she could.*

*The risk was too great. She could look forever and never find him. She'd travelled too far to get lost just before arriving. Soon Kindred Wander had vanished from the dimension she had been in and entered another. She had done this a hundred times before. The difference was that this time, the other dimensiin was home*

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Shakes her head* *Decides on another glass- her hand is shaking now from the alcohol, but it is literally the only thing keeping her numb at the moment* I would have suggested Trip, but it's been ages since I've seen him. I don't think he would want to miss out on this either.

*Scours her memory* We can have them stay with Roshanne.

Adra Cruciatus said...

*ParAdra will sigh, then turn to go back inside to clean up the mess* I hope she finds what she is searching for, then.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Yes... even if she may not always have the best judgement, she has been helpful, and definitely proved herself trustworthy. I'll send Roshanne and Spark with them, and whoever else they want to bring. *he will pull out his phone, and start sending texts*

Noelle said...

Good. I'm going to take a shower.
*Goes to their bathroom, and turns on their shower, then waits a few minutes for the water to heat up. She undressed herself, setting her clothes on the counter* *This feeling of dread begins to wash over her, and she begins to feel like her head will explode* *It's so painful and, before her body can even think of falling to the ground, the feeling is gone*

*Her fingers tighten into a fist* *Regardless of how many plans that happen, Leon still has the power to hurt her- and will punish her*

*A few moments later, she steps into the shower, letting her hair fall down*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he watches as she walks away, and his eyes linger on where she was once she is gone* *the situation makes him terribly anxious, but he has missed her so much, and he is unspeakably glad to have her back, even if she doesn't seem to want to talk to him, still* *closes his eyes, taking slow breaths* *Adra has the right to do whatever she wants- he just needs to make sure she is safe*

Adra Cruciatus said...

*The shower is brief- about ten minutes at the most, and Adra steps out in her towel, examining herself in the mirror* *And then her head spins again, and blood begins to leak from her mouth*

*Immediately Adra moves to the sink, doing her best to be quiet* *Turns on the water, her head spinning quickly for explanations; there isn't anything Leon could have done to the doll to make her-*

*Drip drip drip*

-Adra is suspended from the ceiling, the ropes swinging just barely. There is another crack of a whip, and the skin of her back splits in half, blood seeping from her body, and dripping to the floor just below her. Her toes are just above the ground- so close, but so far. She can hear Salvatore's intake of breath as he sees her bloody back, and the low hiss of excitement that he makes as once again, he flicks his wrist, sending-

*Wipes her mouth clean* *She should really get her magic back as soon as possible*
*Adra walks back into her bedroom and drifts to the closet, consumed by her thoughts* *She might need more alcohol*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he is deeply concerned for her* Adra, darling, are you alright?

Noelle said...

*A deep conflict is in her eyes* I don't want to involve you any more than I have. I don't want you to see me hurting, because I know that that, in turn, will hurt you.
But... If I don't, you'll be hurt that I am not speaking to you.

..
What do you want me to do?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Adra... I married you because I want to be involved with you, always, no matter what it does to me. There is nothing else I care about- nothing else for me to live for. I'm sorry that I ever let you doubt that. All I want is to be as close to you as I can, and to help you as much as I can. I will do anything you want me to- if you want me to leave you alone, or if you would like me dead, or whatever else. But please do not ask me to be distant from you for my sake. It is... *he stops* If you are hurting, then I would rather hurt with you. You shouldn't ever have to be alone.

Adra Cruciatus said...

...

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.. *Her voice cracks* Please forgive me. *She stumbles as she moves toward him*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he will step closer to her, and take her hands* It's alright, love. It's alright.

Noelle said...

*Her fingers clench his tightly, entire body shaking* Please, please say you forgive me. Say the words. Please.

"Pleaae, don't do it." Adra struggled in her restraints, trying desperately to look after the other girl being hauled from the room. "She's only a child, you monster!" Moments later, she could hear screams from down the hallway, and the same laughter.

*Her fingers are almost white* Please.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Of course I forgive you, my dearest Adra- I always will. *kisses her forehead* *he is still not sure how affectionate she wants him to be with her* Love, please tell me what's wrong.

Noelle said...

*Sucks in a deep breath of air* I just coughed up blood again.. and I think because I don't have magic, my body will be more susceptible..

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Then, please, let me help you... I can still heal. I know I can't solve this for you, but I can at least hold back the symptoms for you. *he will carefully brush a bit of hair out of her face, and start to heal whatever he can* How else can I help you?

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Shakes her head barely* I keep seeing things. Memories. From when I was with him. The slightest of words causes them to resurface in my mind, and I keep reliving those moments, over and over and over. And no matter how much I drink, it just won't. be. quiet. *With every word, her hand hits the temple of her head, as if she is trying to knock the sanity and sense back into herself*

*She knows that this isn't herself- she knows that she's losing it, but she can't do anything but suffocate- especially now that, since her magic is gone, there is no unbalanced state of numbness for her to retreat in. The flood of pain just is hitting her, wave after wave, knocking her down again an again and again and again and again and she can't do anything about it*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Oh, my darling... *kisses her head again* If we could get our link back, perhaps I could try to help you control them. But I don't know who blocked it, or if we can fix it right now. But if we can't- *he will look for the philosopher's stone she wears around her neck, to see if it is still there*

Noelle said...

*The stone is there- as is the stone in her wedding ring, but without any energy to connect to, it's more or less dead* *Even most mortals have an ounce of magical energy, but Leon took everything*

*Hisses beneath her breath, and pulls out her phone* *Types in a number, and waits, setting the phone on the ground between them* *Again, like an asshole, Leon makes her wait before picking up* Leon... I need to speak with you. It's urgent.

*His voice is soft on the other side* My darling Marlene, I'm afraid there is no negotiating on this. I'm being generous as it is by giving you the night off with your family.

Leon, listen to me. I'm going to die if I don't have at least some of my magic back. Even if it is just a little, it's all I need. I can't be of much use to you if I'm dead, can I?





*His voice doesn't waver* when shall we meet?

*Adra looks to her husband* Now.

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((I miss you all so much.))

((I feel...inconvenient today. I wanted to say that somewhere, and there's no one to whom I can express that sentiment in real life just now.))

((Carry on.))

Noelle said...

*Was just very confused* I've been reading the history of Aladra, and have read several months of role play today- and I was just incredibly confused when I saw your name pop up, because I thought that this page was TLC, and not Derek's blog*

Anyway-

I'm sorry you aren't feeling 100% today, and I want to remind you that you are an incredible, incredible human being. You're so kind, and generous, and really a straight-up badass when you stand up to mean people. I admire you so much, and if you're inconvenient, then the world must be a goddamn mess.

*Hugs Fabu* And I love you. A lot.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he has already sent their family away* *he will wait for her to hang up before he speaks again* The chain that I made for your stone- the metal is sentient. It remembers emotions. I've imprinted love and happiness onto it- so if you ask, it will give some of that back to you. I don't know if it will help, but I hope it is better than nothing.
Are we going to really talk to him, then, or will we trap him?

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Adra's fingers brush the metal, which is comforting to touch* Oh... Alright. *She will ask it to just continually keep sending what it has to her*

I want to actually speak to him. *Takes a deep breath, bracing herself, then stands, with some exertion* There's a few old warehouses near the Seattle docks. Warehouse 9 is where we need to meet him. But I need some, if not all of my alchemy back. Our lab is unprotected, as is. And I need to get you back. *She means the connection*

*Looks around, then picks up a modest sized knife, putting it in her belt* What is the fastest way to get there? I don't think any of my portals work anymore, since I'm not hooked up

Noelle said...

"Blogger Emerald Melody said...
Swit swoo!!!

Check out the new place. Swanky indeed. Emmy likey :)

May 17, 2014 at 6:34 PM"

2014 was a dark time

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*then it will just gently send love, affection and happiness to her- it is mostly from Alastair, but some of it also comes from the alien metal itself*

*he is so relieved, and so glad that she seems to want their link back* Yes- we need all of your alchemy back. And if you still want our link, then we need that too. Niccolò can either try and reactivate your portals, or teleport us- otherwise we'd have to get there the mortal way, I think. And, if you'd like more knives than that, I have plenty. Also- it is up to you, but if you would like to be less... drunk, I can help you with that also.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

But, Adra- I know this is supposed to be an exchange, and he'll probably ask for more from you in return. I don't want you to be hurt or have to kill anymore- and I don't want to lose you again. I'm sure he'll ask for things like that. I don't know what to do if he does- but maybe just keep it in mind, if you can, I suppose. I'll be thinking about it.

Adra Cruciatus said...

...Anything you can do to help me be a little less drunk, would be nice.

I'm fine with these two knives. I don't expect that Leon will try to attack us. *Swallows hard* I think I have a way to get around killing people. A facade of sorts, where they aren't dead. It was something I attempted with Elias Turner, and he hasn't died. The other victim, an Elder, was supposed to be sent to Hell, but I sent that Elder to a Purgatory-esque place.

*A shiver trickles down her spine* *Stands, and goes to find Niccolo* *Once she finds him, she will touch his shoulder* We need to go to the docks in Seattle, please. *Will hold her husband's hand, for support*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

You are so clever, and I adore you. *while they hold hands, he will help neutralize some of the alcohol, so she can be a little less drunk, as she requests*

*then Niccolò will teleport them* Would you like me to go with you? And if not, how long shall I wait before coming after you?

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Adra shuts her eyes barely* It would be better if you waited here, or back home. As of right now, you are our best card that we can deal.... I'm sorry, but if things get hairy, I don't want him to try to take your magic, or handicap your abilities in any way.

*Will wait a second, then nod to Alastair* We should go. Give it half an hour, Niccolo. *Gives him a look, then hauls Alastair to the warehouse*

*The building itself is decrepit and old- it likely hasn't been used in around twenty years. There are holes occasionally in the ceiling from which water drips* *In the center of the structure is a metal table and metal chairs. Two on one side, one on the other* *Adra glances at Alastair, then takes a seat*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*Niccolò nods, and will disappear, then*

*Alastair will go with Adra, and sit next to her* *he will still hold her hand, if she will allow it*

Noelle said...

*Strolls in* Oh, so you did happen to come. Let's make this quick, then. This interruption is quite unwelcome. *Pulls out the chair, and sits* what is it you desire this time?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

We need Adra's alchemy, and our link back.

Noelle said...

Why should I grant that to you?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Because if Adra doesn't have her alchemy, she will die. And as far as the link goes- I don't see any reason why you benefit from us not having it.

Noelle said...

No, that's where you're wrong. She isn't going to die. If there have been any complications with her internal anatomy, it's because her body is struggling to work on it's own, without the magic to sustain it's life. She'll live, it'll just be excruciatingly painful for her. But, then again, that is the point, isn't it?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

You misunderstand. This isn't caused by her body struggling to cope without magic. It's caused by a pre-existing, very physical condition she has had for some time, that her magic allowed her to survive with. So it isn't "just painful," as you seem to think. It is killing her.

Noelle said...

*Anger briefly flashes behind his eyes, but then fades* *Settles back in his chair* Alastair, I haven't misunderstood the situation at all. Unlike the two of you, who have only personal experiences from which you base off your knowledge of Hell, I have seen what happens on a larger scale. With the experiments my government has conducted, hundreds of people have been sent to the grave and back at my bidding. I make the works of Sigmund Rascher and Josef Mengele look like child's play.

So when I say to you that her body is not dying, simply adjusting, my word is the law.

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

[hugs Noelle]

I love you too. You're an amazing and very talented human being.

Thanks.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Give it back anyway. I'm sure she'll be much more effective at following your orders if she has it.

Noelle said...

She can do it without magic; I know this because she has done it before. This matter is closed.

As for the link between you two... I can have it unbound, if you really so desire. I suppose that, since you are now aware of her job, it wouldn't help with keeping you in blind, so to speak

Alastair Cruciatus said...

What advantage do you gain by keeping it from her?

Noelle said...

Certainly you must know- especially having that particular man who used to lodge in your head who had a proclivity for power. It's about who has the upper hand. You see, because our dear Marlene does not have her alchemy, all of those little symbols from you home are much easier to bypass. With her vulnerable, to, she is much, much easier to influence. *Reaches into his coat, then, and is holding something inside hispocket* *He then turns to adra* Marlene, if you would please demonstrate.

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Adra makes a small sound in the back of her throat, and slides her hand down to her hip, drawing her small blade from her belt* *She looks at it for a second, shocked, and then turns to Alastair* *She's trying hard to resist* *But her arm lifts, knife in hand*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he watches her carefully, poised to move closer and block her if she tries to hurt herself* Love, what is he making you do?

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Darts forward, colliding with Alastair and likely knocking him and his chair to the ground* *Presses the knife to his throat, pushing hard enough to begin to cut into his skin* *Adra knows that he isn't bothered by this though, and her other hand has a fistful of his hair, keeping his head down against the floor* *Hurt ghosts in her eyes* I'm sorry, I can't help it.

Noelle said...

*Leon stands from his chair* Well then. Marlene, you are going to hold him here until I leave. And if you or him move, you're going to stab that knife into your thigh. *He straightens his coat* I'll see to it that your connection is restored. *Tips his hat* Good day. *He turns, and there is a flash of bright light, and he is gone*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*oh* *he will offer her a soft smile, just so she knows that it's alright, and then speak after Leon leaves* It's alright, darling.

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Adra remains on top of him, and once Leon is far enough away, the hold loosens from her; she drops the knife* Damn. *Her fingers skim over the cut on his throat*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he will take her fingers, and kiss them* How are you feeling?

Adra Cruciatus said...

Quite dizzy, actually.. *Scoots back on him a little bit, so she is only sitting over the tops of his legs- she doesn't imagine that the floor is comfortable* *Her eyes avert themselves from the wound guiltily*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*the cut will already be starting to heal- and he will sit up, then* Darling, I'm fine. It wasn't your fault- I know you didn't want to. And I've asked you for worse than this before. You have nothing to feel guilty for. *kisses her head* I'm sorry I didn't get your alchemy back...

Adra Cruciatus said...

Oh- I suppose you're right... Don't worry about the alchemy, we can find another way. We always have.

*Alastair might begin to feel his wife's consciousness seeping into his periphery, like a dark cloud enclosing over a clear sky*

Besides, I noticed something. When his hand was on my Voudou figurine, I could feel his thoughts. He asked me to attack you, and I heard him speaking in my mind. I think what touching the doll did was make what he was thinking have an influence over me.

Chione Asahina said...

-waves-

First time i've been put off commenting because someone was RPing. Think it's just because there are so few people on the blog that I feel awkward just, typing something. This must be how new people felt. :S

Carry on peoples.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he is so glad, and so relieved to have it back* *he will hug her, if she doesn't mind- he just wants to be closer to her* Are you saying we can use that against him?

Adra Cruciatus said...

You're more than welcome to join, if you want. It's up to you.

Adra Cruciatus said...

*Of course, and she tucks her head underneath his chin* I believe so. It will need some brainstorming, for sure, but I think it is worth a try.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Then we'll try it. *kisses her head, and then will rest his head over hers again* In the meantime, what can I do for you? Do you need any food, or something to eat?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*something to drink

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*The Dead End Bar was doing very well in 2014. Nowadays it mostly catered to cultists and lowlifes as they became more and more desperate for business. Back in 2014 it was a hotspot for for the Ukranian magical literati. Here rogues and poets would meet and mingle with detectives and adventurers, seeking muses and lovers to feed their works. Their fabulous robes were pigmented with shiftweave, morphing and growing to imitate the styles around them, a perhaps blunt comment by the bar's patrons on the incestuous nature of fashion. Of course, these robes would go out of fashion as well. So did the bar. The great and the good grew bored, making way for a rogues gallery of a different kind*
*Trip Castalan took none of this in. He was behind the bar, mixing a drink. Well. He was mixing six or seven drinks whilst cleaning two shot glasses with his spare hand. He was in constant motion, moving cash, drinks, glasses and his body, completely removed from his surroundings. He must have been aware of its stimuli as he definately responded to them, but they didn't seem to affect him in any way*
*2014 was a better time for Trip, but this one was not the Trip of 2014, he was a much older man.*

Noelle said...

*Adra won't want anything* *She will just go home with him, and once there, climb into bed*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Amongst all of the sensory input, Trip was focussed on his watch. Four seconds. He tapped two glasses against the counter. One contained something or other, the other some pink stuff. Trip had already forgotten. Three seconds. This was a spare moment. Trip took a second to breathe. One often forgets to breathe when meddling with time and it can cause realy bother. Two seconds. Trip stacks the glasses. The patrons reach for their drinks. One second. Trip spritzes the man beside him. Gerald or something.*

Noelle said...

*Once there, Adra will just lay with her husband, and sleeps*

*The nightmares will descend down on her, then, and suffocate her*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*Alastair will stay awake as long as he can, to try to soothe her nightmares*

Noelle said...

*Appreciates it, but will still likely wake up multiple times, in tears* *Each time, she will clutch to Alastair, as if he is a buoy keeping her from drowning*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Graham flails in response. He clips a patron, sending them tumbling into the glasses. Trip imitates a laugh, to suggest that he's just having a joke with Garry. Afterwards he turns to the glass and starts tidying up. Gareth begins tending to the customers, the glass rendering their shiftweave a bit scratchy and very revealing. He looks up to plan his route to leave. In precisely twelve minutes and thirty two seconds the glass he has collected must be in the bin of the street outside.*
Woman with hair: I saw that.
*Trip begins to walk along behind the counter, to where it bled into the surrounding crowd.*
Familiar, slurred voice: Oi mate, I saw that.
[Hey asshole, she's talking to you.]
*The woman with hair is now blocking Trip's path into the crowd. She must be removed in order to ensure swift resolution of the plan.*
Excuse me, I must put this in the bin.
[Oh nice one. Shut up]
Woman with hair: You made that happen on purpose.

Lies. Slander. Please, I haven't the time for this.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*The woman jokingly drapes herself across Trip's path, unaware of the danger she is putting Trip's mission in*
Woman with hair: I must know your motive!
[Drunk, clearly, her speech is extremely slurred. And who are you to judge? You're the one who wants to drink, I haven't a clue. WE'RE THE SAME PERSON]
Woman with hair: Not that this mysterious silent act isn't sexy, but it isnn't really helping yer case.
[Change tack it's your only shot]
I thought it would be funny. Can I go now?
*Trip looks at her with genuine earnestness. This discourse has cost him 20 seconds*

Noelle said...

*A young little red haired- blonde girl will walk into the bar* *She is only 18, so she isn't supposed to be in there probably, but she wants some water* *Will watch what is occuring*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he will hold her, when she does, and speak to her softly, stroking her hair* I'm here, my darling, we're home. You're safe.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Woman: Oh a comedian, eh? *she lays a hand on Trip's chest. He looks down at it, a look if vague disgust bursting across his face*
[What. She likes you, moron, remember when people did that? No. Well use it anyway, I believe in you.]
*Trip thinks back. He hasn't had to think on his feet for some weeks now.*
[Yes, that'll do.]

I'm sorry, my heart belongs to another.

Woman with hair: Oh, who is she? I'll have her locked away.

Nono, I mean literally. I sold it to Queen Marsden in the year 2099.

*she rocks back, laughing. Trip slips past, into he crowd. A small grin is on his face*

___

*a manager stands beside the girl, watching his staff deal with the incedent*

Manager: You shouldn't be here. I can see it. *he indicates to his eyes, stained with a switling turquoise pattern*

Noelle said...

*Adra's eyes shut more, clenched* *Takes deep breaths, slowing her heart down again* These ones were about Salvatore again..

-
*The girl bites her cheek* But I'm thirsty.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Manager: And the starving man is hungry, yet the law cares not when he steals. You must leave. *he indicates to a purple haired man hurriedly making his way past.* Hey Karl, take this girl out of the club, would you?

*Karl looks up at the manager. He strikes the girl as a rather sullen kind of guy. His face sits in an entirely neutral stance. His eyes are perhaps his only notabke feature besides the hair. They seem to be bottomless purple pits of roiling purple and unfathomable depth. They seem sad, heavy with regret, as if caught somewhere between the fear and joy of memory*

Certainly, sir. I would also like to resign immediately, I intend to become a dedicated follower of fashion.

Noelle said...

*Oh*
*The girl frowns, and points to Trip* Hey, I know him!

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Come on. *he turns about to leave, the manager slightly shocked to hear his quiet if hardworking staffer make such a bold claim. He isn't sure if he's joking. After all, payday's tomorrow. Trip begins making his way through the crowd*

Noelle said...

:(
But.. I know him. And I'm thirsty

Noelle said...

*She sees the woman bothering Trip* *Wants to help him leave, and wil log up to the woman* Excuse me, can i bother you for a moment? I am having troubles with my dress and need someone to help tie the top.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Trip is now seriously behind. He has to be outside in three minutes and five seconds. He grabs the girl by the arm* Let's get out of here. *he pulls her towards the door*

Noelle said...

*Oh* *Noelle blinks, and will come with Trip* Where are we going?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

To a bin. *he finishes leading her outside and then stands by a nondescript waste bin, watching his watch.*

So apparently you know me? Whoever you think I am, I'm not him.
[Good job with that believable lie mate. Who even cares It's not like she's dangerous. You're shit at threat assessment, in fact, you're shit at living.]
*Trip searches through his mind to find anything that might justify his previous statement*
I'm a doppelganger if we ever meet he will die.

Noelle said...

You're Trip Castalan.

And I just helped you. You look like you need help. What can I do?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Trip looks at her for a few moments. The light of the moon highlights his five o'clock shadow and roughed up face. He looks like a man who has been out at sea for a little too long, so he has ceased to appear adventurous and exotic and is now simply weary. He drops the glass shards into the bin and tosses the dustpan he was holding them with away.*

Nope. I'm a doppleganger and you didn't help me. I don't need any help. Things are going exactly to plan. What are you doing at this time of night? Do you need me to drive you somewhere?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he nods, and kisses her head* You're safe, now. I'm sorry, my love.

Noelle said...

I just wanted water.
*Noelle, tentatively, will touch Trip's arm* What happened?
-
*Adra breathes slowly* okay... *She pauses, and then quickly pulls him down, to kiss her*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*oh* *then he will kiss her back, just gently*

Noelle said...

*He would be able to taste her- but also taste salt from her tears* *Will kiss him a few times, both long and short, continuing over and over*



*But then, after a while she will just hug him tightly*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he will return each of her kisses, and then hug her tightly back, running his fingers once through her hair* *he so adores her*

Noelle said...

*Softly, in his ear* I'm sorry.. I want to be stronger for you.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Don't be sorry, my darling. *pets her hair* You are so, so strong. You amaze me.

Noelle said...

*Reaches up, her fingers brushing his bottom lip* *Kisses him again, softly* You are still upset... with me, I think. What are you thinking?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he will return that kiss, too, and then closes his eyes, breathing out slowly* *first, he wants her to know that he loves and admires her so deeply, and that she makes him so happy- he will send that to her, so she can feel it* When you first disappeared, I assumed you had been taken. I went to look for you, but when I found you, you ran away. And then- I didn't really think you wanted to kill me, but I did wonder, for a second. It seemed like you wanted so badly to keep your feelings and your situation from me, even once we were back home. My darling Adra, I know you have been through so much- not only recently, but throughout your whole life- and it was wrong of me to assume you would know that I would always rather be close to you and help you, no matter what it does to me. But then, it felt like you either didn't trust me, or didn't want me to be close to you anymore. And now... I just want to do whatever I can to make you really feel that all I ever want is to be as involved in your life as I can be, as long as you'll have me, even if that means I might get hurt.

Noelle said...

*Her eyes do water*
I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I just.
I didn't want to involve you because you give me everything- life, reason to live, stability, love.. And- if I am in the line of fire, if something happens to me, I can't leave the kids, A- a- and I don't want to hurt you.

I know it's wrong of me to assume anything, but I've lost so many people, Alastair. My parents.. my friends... lovers.. children.. *She begins to just cry* Anyone who gets close to me eventually gets killed. And Leon is fucking terrifying, to me. He murdered my people, and he feels nothing at all. If there is anyone who could single handedly ruin everything we have, I undoubtedly know that it is him. So I'm sorry- I trust you with my life and soul, but the person I don't trust is myself. I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to beat Leon and, if that is true, I don't want you to come down with me.

*Her hand gently cups his chin, then strokes his cheek* I'm sorry for not telling you, but I am so scared right now. I just can't lose you too.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*he will catch her hand, and kiss it* I'm sorry he frightens you so much. I will do my best to make sure that you don't lose me, and I will do everything I can to help you take him down. I just couldn't stand to lose you, either- to Leon, or to fear. *kisses her forehead* Thank you for telling me all of this. I am so sorry you've had so much loss in your life, and I will try to make sure you don't have to endure more of it.

Noelle said...

*Adra tucks her body against his* I know... It's alright. *Briefly, will just leave her head tucked against him*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*Trip looks down at the girl's hand, his cold eyes relenting, becoming sad*
A lot of things, Noelle.
*a moment passes and his eyes harden again. He shakes her off*
I'm fine though. Things happen. All you can do is make the best of them. That's what I'm doing.

Where do you need taking?

Noelle said...

Um- nowhere. I just wanted water.

*Thinks about saying more, but doesn't*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*for a brief moment Trip considers asking one of many questions, but soon realises that he simply hasn't the energy for a mystery*

Very well then. Good night. *he turns and begins to walk down the dimly lit road. The humid night air seems to blur hus silhouette. He could be almost anybody*

Noelle said...

*Oh, okay*

..okay, bye.

Noelle said...

*Noelle still doesn't have water* :(

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*the manager stumbles out of the club with a bottle of water. The sound of the rubbish truck moving up the street grumbles in the distance*

Manager: Karl! Hey Karl? *he turns to Noelle* Was he being serious?

Noelle said...

Serious about what?

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

I'm better today
Today is going to be better

Emerald Melody said...

Hello??

I need to ask something... I started a storyline on the blog that I want to continue but can't remember where I put the bloody thing.

Any quick way to find my comments or am I stuck scrolling for days??

Feraaaa32 said...

i find existence to be incredibly painful and i hate it.

Feraaaa32 said...

i want to die a slow and excruciating death. i want it to be both mental and physical hell.

Feraaaa32 said...

i want someone to beat me but not just that. humiliate me. crush me till i drop dead

Emerald Melody said...

Nope.

What you're feeling now, its not as permanent as you think Fera.

Don't let it consume you.

The better days, no matter if you think there are so few of them, outweigh the bad.

Feraaaa32 said...

not to me. i am demon spawn. i've always had a natural attraction to negative forces and ideas. it is permanent to me and will always be. the feelings that consumed me are me. the good in me has almost finally given up. took its sweet ass time. it's still a few years too soon before i become a monster but it'll eventually happen. and when it happens i'll be truly alone, instead of having the illusion of companionship. like i've always wanted it.

Emerald Melody said...

Even if you think that way, feel that way. I'll still be here.

I'd rather be a companion to a monster than a companion to a memory of someone I once knew...

Feraaaa32 said...

hehe thank you...fuck it seems my good side is still fighting haha. i've always felt about the same amount of attraction to light as dark. i am like a malleable being, reflecting back on existence itself. whether i am good or bad isn't the question. it's which one i feel like. i rarely step in either direction but when i do, it's a firm one. my girlfriend hurt me so much. but i don't want to take it out on her. so i guess i came here. all that anger and negativity that naturally built up within my intense self got redirected.

Emerald Melody said...

It's alright to feel hurt if you're hurt. Don't deny your emotions that.

But your hurt shouldn't have to take you over.

I have a lot of bad days and I'm like a bat out of hell when I'm in a foul mood. But I know it's not me. It's the depression.

When I've wavered the storm and felt when I've needed to feel at the time, the good times seem a lot better than usual.

Feraaaa32 said...

haha i deny myself a lot of things to be honest. because i wanna be like that. i wanna toughen up even more and tank through all my ambitions. it probably doesn't help that my feelings were always ignored by everyone but oh well i'll tank through that too

Emerald Melody said...

I think I'm trying to give comfort here...

Dunno how I'm doing lol

Feraaaa32 said...

umm idk nothing comforts me but thank you :p

Noelle said...

I'm sorry you feel upset, Fera. I hope tomorrow is better for you

Inky Flame said...

Sup peeps

Inky Flame said...

So I did a thing

https://youtu.be/LyljWQPChXk

Inky Flame said...

(Making a video was something off my bucket list)

Chione Asahina said...

Fera, i'm always on Facebook if you need to talk and I ghost on here every couple of days, when I remember to check.

Chione Asahina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chione Asahina said...

If John pops by at any point...which If he cares, he will because that's why i'm here...

This latest post is for you.

http://skulduggeryfan100.blogspot.co.uk/

Noelle said...

*Adra will be sitting by herself, then, picking idly at her fingers* *She is nervous, a bit, but doesn't care much for things* *Watches her kids run past her, and briefly wonders if she will see them grow up*

Noelle said...

*That's alright- she would rather them grow up without her than not at all* *Alrhough it was not her own preferred way, she managed- but, all hopes considered, Cara and Alek will not have to do so*
*It's going to be bad enough when Alek grows up- as an empath, he is susceptible to experiencing others' emotions, and given his parents' dispositions, Adra prays that he won't get into any fights*

Noelle said...

>:/
I'm waiting impatiently..
On Sunday, my professor promised to post our final grades- this morning, around 3AM, he sent an email saying that he finally did it, but when I checked the Banner, there wasn't anything posted!

I'm quite nervous, actually.. I really want a 4.0, and I already received an A- in Biology (which sucks, but is certainly better than my anticipated B). But this final class that I am waiting on is Statistics. I never had any trouble with the context- it's just that back in March, with my flare-up following Madie's death, dog's death, and the whole laundry list of rather sad and depressing things that happened, I often would become really out of it during class. Not to mention that, since March, I've gained 10 pounds in weight...

Anyway, I digress

I was really distracted all the time and couldn't thing. Looking back on it, I was definitely disassociating, and I felt like I couldn't breathe... a lot. I was just suffocating all the time and I hated it.

So I don't know how that month will affect my final grade. Last time that I checked, I had an A in Statistics- however, I don't know if potentially not getting an A in this final would affect my final grade.

It's so nerve wracking. One A- on my record I can do, but I would really rather not have two- or anything worse than that.

Noelle said...

In other news, I finally got to use my new soap!!

It's layered and has two dinosaurs inside- like stratigraphy
But I love it!

Noelle said...

Update: I got an A-
:/
That 3.93 CGPA needs to come up

Noelle said...

I'll take it

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*Alastair will move to join his wife, and take her hand to kiss it, if she will allow him* May I ask what your plan is, my darling?

Noelle said...

So I'm going to write a bit of a paragraph.

Over the years, there's been a lot. But most of you know this. If there is one thing good that has come out of my time on this blog, it has been the hard lessons that I have learned. And, if I may, I want to share a compiled list of some important things, in no particular order. Most of this has taken some serious blood and tears for me to learn, and I may add a short caveat of my experiences to maybe help clarify some points. But I've been thinking about this lately, and figure that, chances are, some of these points could help other people too.

1.) It is never okay to attack anyone.
Even if you are right. Even if the other person has wronged you, past or present, it's never justified to try to hurt them, or make them feel guilty about either actions you have done, or actions that they have done. We are all our own people, and responsible for our own reputations and outlooks on life.

2.) Addiction takes many forms.
For me, it was loneliness. I was addicted to the depression and the anxiety, because I felt that it was much easier to retreat into my head than try to be happy. I was afraid that, if I were confident, people wouldn't like me. And pity is much easier to get than is acceptance and friendship.

3.) It's okay to get better.
We are loved be the people we call friends. They love you, regardless of your struggles, and if you become well again, they will only love you more. Self-sabotage is a positive feedback loop, and it's not fair to cry about not having friends when we are the ones who made ourselves unbearable enough that they left us.

4.) This blog- or other online forums or communities- is not the end all/be all. Having online friends is okay, but if you get to the point where you dont have many, if any, real life friends, you're in trouble. And you should probably take a sabbatical.

5.) People have different opinions.
You don't have to agree with everyone you meet. You don't have to be best friends with anyone either. It's okay to disagree, but don't argue. Name calling is a red flag for bullying, and if you feel that much anger towards another person, you need to remove yourself from the situation peacefully, and move on. Sometimes, two sides won't budge. There isn't a point of fighting forever.

Noelle said...

6.) Times change.
New people may annoy you. But you have to remember that you don't OWN the blog. You are here as a guest, just as much as the next person. And abusing newcomers or returning oldcomers is an insult to the forum moderator- in this case, Derek Landy.

7.) Don't argue about whose life is worse, who has more shit to deal with.
Apparently this one needed explaining a few times on the blog. We've all got about 60-80 years left of we're lucky. In a year, you won't remember these conversations. In three years, the issues that plague you now probably won't matter.

8.) Be the bigger individual.
Forgive other people. Always.

9.) Life gets better. The only thing that could stop it is yourself.

10.) Taking breaks is okay.
Being on here every day is exhausting. Considering how most people here are adolescent/ of high school or secondary school age, we are all raging hormones. It is easy to come on and instantly be depressed and begin to spiral out of emotional control.

11.) Don't make depression blogs
They don't help you feel better. You feel worse, actually.

12.) Be straight up with yourself.
I lied- this might be my most important point. Sometimes, I would get caught up in the situation. For example, there were times a few years ago, when the bullying was occuring, when I would begin to hyperventilate and cry. And I told myself that all of it was stupid- that I shouldn't let people hurt me, and that this was just words on a page. Well, sometimes it is okay to listen to that small, rational voice, too. And

Always ask...

"Do I actually want to be happy?"

Seriously, ask yourself. Do you actually have any sort of drive to change your life and move forward? Or, do you like feeling the way that you do? Because if not, perhaps that is something worth assessing. Growing up is a hard decision to make (and yes, it is a decision), but it cannot be done by sticking by adolescent morals and themes.

This has been some things that I have learned. They do not in any way apply to every person in similar situations, or otherwise. I have found that just thinking about these points has helped me grow as a person- different than whom I was two years ago. And I think that this could do some good to anyone who reads it. This is also not targeting anyone in particular. I just want to maybe give some advice, and would be pleased if even some of this helped someone out.

Noelle said...

I'm actually going to bed now, Alastair- but I'll keep writing with you somewhere else, if you'll have me.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((Of course.))

Tanya Halcyon (Kas) said...

I read the wrong comments, forgot to go to the newest comments page :|

And then *this* comment was deleted before posting. I'm really bad at this.

Anyways, the older comments mentioned the tour from last year and how some of you won't be able to make it. What about this year? Antibody planning to meet Derek?

Tanya Halcyon (Kas) said...

*anybody

I swear I've gotten better at the whole autocorrect thing.

Noelle said...

No.. I never read the final book, and I won't see him unless he is in England for the one day that I'm there
I might try to have breakfast with Laura though

Noelle said...

I'm cleaning my bedroom today :)

Except, I'm slowly losing my mind. I have so many things and I feel like I'm becoming my mother- a hoarder- and as someone whose anxiety triggers my OCD, I feel like I'm melting????

Like
I have so much that I want to change
Even my walls, which are still the gross pale beige staple color that they were since this house was built, feel so impersonal. Over the years I have tried to cover the walls so that it feels like me, but now all of the wall hangings are closing in on me and I'm suffocating

So I ripped them all off and feel much better

But now I have the weird beige color again 😞

I'm hoping I can just talk to my mom about getting a new bed. I have had this one for around ten years now, and it's super uncomfortable and just falling apart (may be why my back has been having so many problems)
I might go for a twin bed this time, though. That will open my bedroom up for some more space. It will also mean I can begin to put my plants in my windowsill

Noelle said...

No point in all of that, I'm just talking/ telling the story :)

Noelle said...

Oh
There is now a cat on me

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Thank you for sharing the story. I hope you will be able to do something about your walls, and I am pleased that you and your cat are enjoying each other.

Noelle said...

Oh

I thought me and my brain were past the 1:30 AM /warp drive moods.

Nope
*Hits brain softly* Hush, now. I've been wanting to sleep for over one full R.E.M. Cycle now. Let me sleeeeep and stop thinking about the scaries >:(

Noelle said...

https://instagram.com/p/BUieTPeg-Fu/

A very nice video about a kitty with paralysis and they give her acupuncture and it helps and I cried for a while this morning seeing this

Noelle said...

Update!!!!

I get to see Trip AND Laura on the same day!!
I've known Laura for about seven years, and Trip for about four. I am so ecstatic!

Noelle said...

Seananners said hi to me in a video again!!!!

:D

Noelle said...

I am living for all of the Wonder Woman news that has been coming out! All the little articles, the informational videos- hell, even the clickbait! It's about time WW had her first live action film!

It's so good to see women be celebrated like this- especially in a very male- centric industry. All we need is to celebrate female POC as well, and I will be quite satisfied ^.^ well, and I'm sure other minorities should be celebrated too- the disabled, LGBTQ&c individuals, religious diversity... actually, now that I say it, it isn't so much an industry that needs to fit to accommodate "x" amount of minority A and "x" amount of minority B, but rather, it should change so there is less discrimination against such minorities- that people can be free to act despite any identity they associate with.

That's the thing with inclusion- I don't think in this case it is important to highlight every single minority in existence, but rather, make it easier for minorities to reach stardom as it may be for, say, a white male actor or white female actor (not that reaching stardom is by any means easy- but rather, it is often MUCH more difficult for minorities to be involved as it may be for a majority group.


...
Thoughts.

Anyway. Psyched for WW. Gal Godot is fierce!

Noelle said...

*Gadot

Feraaaa32 said...

helu

Noelle said...

I'm enjoying this facebook thing quite a bit!

Noelle said...

I recognize so many people in the comments but i'm trying to be hush hush and not expose their secret identities :p

@Mara

Noelle said...

@Luci @Zaf @Jai

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