With Desolation only a few days away, I am still hard at work on the third and final Demon Road book.
From the beginning, I wanted these books to be as streamlined as possible — I wanted them short and punchy. Now, I completely failed with Demon Road, as it was a pretty big book, and only got slightly better with Desolation, which is shorter, but it looks like I'm finally getting the hang of this with Book 3, which will hopefully be the perfect length.
And the title?
Posts
4,963 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2001 – 2200 of 4963 Newer› Newest»(*hugs Noelle* that's brilliant!)
Clocky: oh, hello!
(I'm glad you have someone to talk to Noelle ^.^
*sighs* I thought you learned FERA)
WG: Hey. Good to see you're well. I should get going again.
*stands up*
Mark: You tried to kill me?!?!
@Noelle: :) :) Oh good. *hugs*
You do realize that, at any point, you could leave and not come back right? If you think we're being so harsh to you(even though it's actually like 1 or two people that do not treat you the way you want them to-and even they tried helping at some points), wouldn't it be more logical to leave?
Tooo edgy 5 me m9
Gclocky; please stay a bit...
(Why should I leave if this place is a haven, a family to me)
@Fera: Firstly, sometimes leaving is hard. Secondly, sometimes the benefits out weight the disadvantages.
The struggle to leave is an irrational thing (not an insult; love is also an irrational thing) so it may be hard to get your head around if you don't experience it, but it's still a thing.
WG: I really can't, I still have hounds after me
^struggle to leave when the disadvantages outweigh the benefits
Clocky; can't we help you?
I love you too, Noelle, and I'm glad your counselor has been of assistance.
(It's a haven to me... I have friends and connections here
I'm becoming more and more distant from my friends irl ...)
WG: Not with these guys. They're slow, but not slow enough to be tricked out of tracking me here.
...
I'm not going to respond. I'm just not going to.
*Hugs Hamlet* you're cool.
Clocky: I see... Why are you being chased again?
WG: *shrugs*
I broke a rule, fell unofficially. They're sore cause I still have wings and I fell YEARS ago.
@Gemma: It's a haven to some people. It has been a haven abd not been a haven to me at various points through the years. During that time, it's always been a haven to some.
*shrugs*
Perceptions. They're weird.
Clocky: what can you do?
Not talking about anyone but noelle. She is acting as if we're properly insulting her on a daily basis. And that's not the case. Even if she is more prone to seeing the negatives...depressed people usually don't like others to see their depression. It doesn't look like the case here. She is even going the heights of telling literally everyone about how bad it is for her here-even though most of the times she hears "i love you" and "hugs". THAT is not depression. THAT is attention seeking. And if she is as smart as she says she is, she realizes this, she had realized it from the very beginning.
And I don't buy her for the very fact that she is really smart.
WG: What can I do? What do you mean?
Clocky; to stop them
(You better shut up FERA
Noelle is not like that
She's been here for years, I may not know here especially well, but I know others do
What makes you an expert on what depression is? It can differ in severity and how it affects certain individuals
I do not think she is attention seeking at all)
Jai... Just ignore him, don't rise to it...
(I'm going to go. I'll come back once I've cooled off.)
(*sits on Jacks lap*
It's not right
I can't stand it)
And you Chloe, I know how you feel about such things, don't rise to the argument, it's not worth it
(I am staying )
Bye jai....
*cuddles Chloe* exactly what I keep talking about, but remember I just over think
[is hugged]
[Gives Noelle a little pat on the back]
Thank you, I think. Being cool is a good thing, is it not? It sounds ought to be a good thing. The alternative would be warm, which is a less agreeable temperature.
Cool. Cooooooool. Hm.
I am cool
You are cool
Thou art cool
He is cool
She is cool
We are cool
You are cool
They are cool
Noelle, you are cool.
I don't even know how to begin to answer such a statement
So I don't think I will
(*cuddles Jack* you are my rock)
Oh dear. Does anyone need to challenge anyone else to a duel? I have a set of rapiers somewhere.
(Id happily accept a duel )
*cuddles Chloe* you are my world
(*kisses Jack* cutie pie )
*Thinks Hamlet is cool for saying she is cool* *She will just hug him, then* Sorry your uncle sucks
(Okay, okay. I'm good, I'm cool, I'm good. Breathing and all that. Focus on the roleplay.)
WG: Run. I can run.
(*hugs jai tightly* welcome back sis)
Clocky: you can't run forever
(*hugs tightly back* Hey.)
WG: I know.
(*ruffles jai hair affectionately *)
Clocky: you must fight them..
*sighs*
*really has nothing else to say, and is trying to complete homework*
*offers everyone hugs*
Actually, on second thought, never mind. I believe one of my rapiers is poisoned, and I would hate for there to be any unfortunate demises.
[to Noelle] I know the truth now. It is unfortunate that my uncle is a lily-livered knave, but at least I know the truth now.
(*hugs star*)
(*huffs and cuddles close*)
WG: Oh that won't work.
*Thinks Star's email about INFP is interesting*
*...*
*Nods to Hamlet* Yeah... *Hands him a little baggie* *It is a present, and a cookie is inside*
lol, what's up? Why so mad? I don't share the same opinion with you? I am trusting my instincts and my brain, which is btw not retarded.
Chloe, I think you trust in others' opinions a bit too much, but hey it's your choice.
(*cuddles*)
Clocky: but..
(*keeps breathing*)
WG: *smiles*
Don't worry, I run fast.
*thinks Noelle's original email was probably more interesting, if you think about it*
*hugs Chloe back :/*
@Fera: People are mad bevause most of them subscribe to the belief that "hurting people = bad."
Yeah.. My type is "The Commander". It's the loop with Napoleon, Thatcher, Harrison Ford.. It's interesting, at least. I think I would make a good "commander". But I'm certainly T and J-driven. Perfectionist, et al.
Clcky; they'll catch you
(I may not know Noelle that well... But I have known her longer than you
And if I trust people's opinions too much, why should I trust yours?)
WG: *nods*
Eventually they will, yeah.
Clcky; they'll catch you
(I may not know Noelle that well... But I have known her longer than you
And if I trust people's opinions too much, why should I trust yours?)
Clocky: we can't le that happen..
I didn't say you should. But why do you trust others' is the question. I don't trust anyone unless i am 100% certain :P
I see star. Ah well, can't be helped can it. I've made my point either way :P
WG: *puts her hands on Clocky's shoulder*
You can't really stop it either.
(I trust these people because they are decent and I trust people unless they give me a reason not to
Now I know I'm sounding argumentative and bitchy, but most of the time I'm one of the nicest, quietest, polite people you'll ever meet
But piss me off...
What was that quote I read?
'There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, the night with no moon and the anger of a gentleman'
OI BLOWING UP DEREK IS MY JOB!!!!
*exploded Derek to prove a point*
Clocky: is there any way to stop them?
@Noelle: :) Oh cool!
@Fera: See, I trust opinions pretty easily . . . I'm very easily swayed. I think it makes me more open minded.
*shrugs* There's disadvantages and advantages to it.
The word decent comes in many forms. I don't personally think that's a reason to trust :P Somebody can be decent but leave you when you're in most trouble and vice versa.
Oh, you really don't want to challenge me on threatening personalities :P I really would rather just not.
(These people have been here and been nice to me, if you don't like the word decent, then I'll use the words trustworthy)
WG: *smiles lopsidedly*
No.
I consider opinions a possibility just as much as everything. BUT unless it's someone i know inside out, I won't give much credibility to their opinions
@Fera: *flips discussion* what are you gaining from not trusting them?
Clocky: there must be..
Again, I am not saying that noelle is definitely like that, but i see a possibility of it and I am seeing more reasons to believe that theory than the "noelle is very nice" one. Could change in the future, who knows.
star: Not being fucked in the ass with a 16 inch strapped on dildo XD
...
That was so inappropriate
(You're not saying that your opinion is definite but you still say all that hurtful stuff..?!
Why don't you keep your damn mouth shut till you learn the facts and you know her better before spouting trash that can impact negatively on many people)
kewl
It's called being cautious, Star.
I always try to give people the benefit of doubt but most of the time I get screwed over and that makes me want to not trust anyone again.
Ohh, she's switching into semi-offensive language, shit has been rustled XD
*sighs* Alright. I'm actually quitting the discussion this time.
(Chloe, take a breather :)
WG: Nope.
@Gemma: :/ True.
Leave her alone
( is the same as frank I've been fucked in the ass too many times and not in the fun way that I don't and won't trust someone till I feel I know what their intentions are with me and why. Some people are shady as hell others I can read like an open book but that doesn't mean either is good. Fuck everyone till I'm givin a reason not to. I hate everyone equally till you give me a reason not to. )
Clocky: is there any way of helping you?
(You enjoy this don't you FERA?
You enjoy people's anger and hurt.,. If that's the case I am stopping
You'll get your comeuppance
Karma is real)
WG: Don't get hurt.
(*hugs Chloe*
Okay. Fera has ever right to not trust people.
But that lack of trust doesn't mean he should be allowed to get away with upsetting others knowingly.)
No, i am rather enjoying the way you said it, I thought it was pretty funny, but sure I do enjoy people's pain...if you say so ^_^
:D either way, this has been a cunt fuck bag of a discussion, continuing in further would probably not achieve a lot. If you have something else to say, I'll respond but otherwise i am done.
And don't worry, I am prepared for whatever's coming my way. I am not afraid of getting hurt in any way, or even dying :)
@Jai: Agreed with the first sentence.
With the second sentence, we have freedom of speech on this blog, so he kind of is allowed regardless of what anyone thinks about it.
(Fera dear, language.)
Clocky: but...
(That's right
He has the right to his opinion
But hurting others?
What if I knew that FERA was sensitive about something and made a really insensitive joke about it, and had a bad opinion about him and showed no remorse or mercy towards him... Wouldn't I get treated like crap too? )
@Fera: I don't want you to avoid hurting people bevause you'Re scared of how we might hurt you in return . . . I'd rather you just didn't want to hurt people.
However we all have our own thoughts and beliefs abd whatnot so y'know.
(@star he's allowed to but he won't "get away with it" in the sense of he will be penalized for it.)
WG: don't worry about it
Nobody can really truly understand Noelle's depression because they aren't her. I don't think it's fair to her to discuss it more and also to be mean to her because of it is rude....
(I'm sorry to drag it out Zaf... I don't want to hurt Noelle or be rude... I'm just trying to make FERA understand it's not okay what he said... )
@Chloe: Tbh if you did that I'd be really shocked and would expect you to quickly reticofy that you didn't mean it like that . . .
Tbh just today I said something very insensitive to Lizzie about something she was really sensitive about (can't beliebe that) and nobody gave me shit about it bevause they knew I didn't mean it. You tend to get a bit of leeway to redeem yourself before people are just like "nope had enough of this shit" and after that, yes, the crap tends to pile in.
no actually, you probably wouldn't chloe XD Most people on this blog don't like me much because I am not afraid to say what i think, and sometimes in a bad way too. They'd have a bias for you ,even if you didn't. But that wouldn't happen anyways, because there's literally nothing that offends me. People have made a lot of really offensive jokes about people close to me and even me and I shrug it off and sometimes even laugh with them :P
*appreciates the help that people are giving*
*Would appreciate it, though, if the language were more docile* *Not that she can force anyone to be more docile if they want to, but personally abhors the c-word, and dislikes graphic sexual imagery, when both are used in demeaning ways*
@Jai: Yeah. *nods*
@Zaf; Sorry . . . *looks guilty*
@Chloe: I'm not sure he will understand. :/ but I commend you for trying.
(Thanks star
Fera... People would be more kind to you and like you more if you stopped with the really offensive jokes
Look, we used to be friends for a while, right? But you crossed a line and now I find myself unable to be friends with you any longer
I must retire to bed now
Nos da people
And sorry for any upset I may have caused )
Goodnight, Chloe
(Well, I'm going to try sleep now because I have an art exam first thing in a morning and sleepy Jaimie + craft knife = ow. I trust you'll keep it civil and try to watch your language. Night.)
Nahh actually, I am pretty clearly conscious about what i am saying, star. If she is truly a nice person with really bad depression, then I'll most likely regret it sometime later the line. But I am willing to take the guilty-and maybe cause a little hurt. That's just me.
@Fera: It's like I said,people are more likely to lash out at you because you've exceeded the leeway.
And additionally . . . if you phrases what you thought eloquently and considerately, fewer people would dislike you. Fact of life, I'm afraid.
You know, Catherine says offensive things to me all the time. I usually just laugh with her. I don't mind it. I even enjoy it. And sge's asked me if I want her go be nicer to me, and I said I didn't.
If the person you're being offensive to doesn't mind, then it's all banter and it's fine. However, Catherine wouldn't day the kind of things she says to me to a random stranger or to someone like her other friend Jasmeet, because she knows it might be hurtful. She only says them to me because she knows it won't hurt me.
I know I'm fine with hurtful statements made at my expense, and I don't call her out on the things she says bevause they're not causing hurt. However, I know not everyone is like me bevause were all different people who have different vulnerabilitues, and so if someone was treating someone else like Cat treats me and the someone else was getting really hurt by it, I hope I'd be able to stuck up for them. Bevause I know that what's okay for one person isn't okay for another, and that the joke ends when one side isn't laughing.
Just because you can take it doesn't mean everyone csn, and it doesn't mean they should just "man up," either - people are wired differently and it can be impossible for some people to just take it. Doesn't make you any better than them. It doesn't matter whether you think it's "barely offensive" or not - if people are getting hurt, it's gone too far.
Sorry.
And I am tired of going back on my word. I need to take blame for what I do, going back on it seems quite pathetic.
I've never been offended by "bad" words if they mean no offense.
Good night, Silente.
So, if I understand the argument, my depression is fake? Or, is it that it is real, but how I feel doesn't fit into a certain stereotype of someone with depression.
jesus star, you always write so much XD
I mean, it's not that i wouldn't like to be liked, but perhaps that playing the nice guy has never worked for me. Even now, I am trying to be considerate to people(idk why lol) irl and on other sites and stuff... I just...idk there's a kind of sensitivity that triggers this offensive mode for me, which makes me want to express myself quite badly.
@Noelle: I think that's pretty much his argument.
No noelle. I don't like victimization as a whole concept. That probably comes from my very lone-wolf type of personality, most likely.
@Fera: I actually think I understand completely what you mean, although I don't feel it to the same extent you do . . .
Seriously though there will be people and places that appreciate your offensiveNess. However, they aren't here. There is really no way you can gain from being offensive here unless you thrive off the upsetness it causes.
Which part? The whole?
Because, rest assured, I do take oodles of medicine, and I have been to the hospital (it was very expensive), and I do have about three therapists, and I have had blood work done, and I do have physical signs of depression.
But here is the thing- every person is different. Genetically, and mentally. So having depression is different for every person. What I feel and what comes of it is different for me than it would be for Gemma, or for whomever else on this blog has it. My point is that, just because I don't lock myself in my room all day and wear black and listen to MCR and wear heavy makeup and hoodies all the time doesn't mean that I don't have depression.
(The previous statement being a generalized perception, or stereotype, of someone with depression. Obviously, not my image, but society's)
*nods at Noelle*
Victimization?
I mean, I have been emailing Zaf lately, and I apologize for bringing this up again, since she will likely see it, and she should know that I in no way hold it against her,
But for those, what, two and a half years? I don't recall- the last snapshot I have was from October, I think.
I think it was two and a half.
For those two and a half years, I was fairly heavily bullied, and being a victim is just the word used to describe someone in that situation. How can I up play/down play what actually happens? I don't exaggerate my feelings, because when someone tells me to kill myself, or if someone uses the f-word thirty times, and tells me to "fuck myself", any normal person would feel as shit as I do.
There already are places that kinda appreciate it XD
I just don't believe in feeling sorry for yourself and wanting others to feel sorry for you...I do recognize that as my doom in some ways, as i want to do most things alone, but hey.
You know what, I don't believe in feeling sad.
I think my life would be fabulous if I were happy all the time.
Am I happy all the time? no.
I can't help my emotions.
I don't think I've told you to fuck yourself, or to kill yourself either?
@Fera: Then why don't you take your urge to be offensive there?
(That question was not meant to be ad harsh as it sounded. Couldn't word it.)
I'm sorry, but I'm confused.
When have I ever said, "please feel sorry for me"?
I come on here to vent, like many others. Not once have I expected anyone to acknowledge me. It is nice when they do, and I appreciate their words of support, but I have never asked anyone to consciously empathize with me.
Your point star?
Because my urge for something is really bad. But hey, again if i m gonna be like that, I cannot blame anything on my urges. It's my fault :P
You have the first one, but not the second. Others have for the second, though.
*nods at Noelle again*
@Fera: Which one?
To be fairly honest, I do have maybe too much of a fixation for perfection. I don't ever want to mess up. I acknowledge that I do, but i hate it when i do and i hate myself for it :P
Which one what? XD
Which point?
"You know what, I don't believe in feeling sad.
I think my life would be fabulous if I were happy all the time.
Am I happy all the time? no.
I can't help my emotions. "
Oh and ok. I don't remember saying anything like that but my memory must be faulty.
@Fera: My point was, if Noelle does feel sorry for herself a lot, she can't just snap her fingers and be like "You know what, from now on imma never feel sorry for myself again!"
I'm getting quite tired btw and it's affecting my ability to word things. :(Apologies in advance.
I'd like to apologize for the random burst of offensiveness towards you noelle, I am still cautious but ya know...it wasn't the most clever thing I've done.
You don't have to feel like you have to accept it.
Also sorry, I never know how to properly apologize.
It's fine. I don't usually care about grammar unless it's something really studious and intellectual XD
Well, yeah.
.
So as I was saying earlier,
Mrs. Williams talked into the start of D bell, and by the time I arrived back at class, most of the period had passed, with 30 minutes left. We talked about a lot of things that were stressful and triggering for me at the moment, and I really do think that talking to her is helpful
@Fera: Not grammar, just I can't always say what I mean to say right and can give the wrong impression or say things I regret . . .
@Noelle: :) :) Oh good. :) Glad you've found something that helps.
*hugs Gemma tightly* :/ I haven't felt what you've experienced, but I do believe you when you say it's difficult.
:) 2 out of 22 is better than none. I don't have resolutions . . .
aww gemma *offers hug* Not many people can actually keep resolutions, so don't worry about that :) And your body is fine. There's nothing wrong about it. You're not ugly :) You're attractive as a matter of fact.
Saying things you regret is a part of it star ^_^ Of course, I hate being wrong, so i also hate saying things that i regret :P
I don't know if I can accept it at this current moment, Fera. What you've said to me, and to others, over the past few hours has been really destructive and hurtful. And I can't be assured that you won't "burst" tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day.
Because, I don't know if you have been saying these things because you need an outlet for your own personal troubles, and I am that outlet, or because you genuinely despise me. So, until I can figure that out, I won't be able to. But regardless, it isn't okay to do that to people, no matter how terrible they may or may not be.
But, I do appreciate the gesture.
^difficult . . .
I too experience the inability to keep goals, Gemma. So I understand that.
*nods at Noelle again*
that's good enough for now :) I was expecting less sympathy, but thanks for giving me a humane response anyways.
Idk either, but my mom said that i scared her on numerous occasions in the past few months....so i am thinking something is wrong with me.
not the kinda scared that she is worried. The kind of scared that she is terrified of me.
I hope it doesn't develop into a split personality kind of thing or scizophrenia.
that's the kind of thing i'd expect, because I do actually try to be nice a lot of times. It's just...i can't really explain it. But it's more than just stress.
I completely know the feeling. It is hard to do anything when you're in a certain state of mind...you keep procrastinating and procrastinating. Your family is an asshole for doing that...
It always seems to be family problems.
You are pretty without making up on though.
plus, aesthetic beauty is quite...dynamic wouldn't you say so?
Well..
I tell myself these things..
1.) start now, not tomorrow
2.) messing up doesn't mean that the "day is ruined"
3.) make 50,000 reminders on your phone to be good
I was about to go into all the things that I do...
But I don't want it to appear like I'm promoting ED (eating disorders), and dysmorphia. But I might make a post on it later
I think the best way to come out of it is if there's someone next to you, instructing you to do things...just like overcoming addictions. Which is what it kind of is. An addiction to sadness and negative thoughts.
If you don't have anyone, you can motivate yourself by making yourself believe that it is a dead line and if you don't do it now, you won't have a chance to do it again. Also, write a daily program for yourself and strictly keep to it, even get alarm clocks to warn you and such :)
*hugs Gemma again* I really struggle to do things unless they're last minute . . . I work better in a last minute rush.
Seriously. Not many people can stick to resolutions. It's okay.
They might just like the look of makeup. Makeup is meant to enhance your natural beauty . . . if you're beautiful, good makeup should improve that; if you're not, good makeup should improve it as well. Bad makeup obviously will probably have the opposite effect.
But no, you don't need to wear makeup. Just because they seem to want you to wear it (which could be for a variety of reasons) doesn't mean you need to . . .
Ugh. I'm too tired for talking. Must sleep. I can't tell what I'm saying abd it's bothering me.
It's all a matter of mindset.
"Tomorrow" will never arrive.
@Noelle: :/ *nods and hugs*
*Personally likes to wear makeup*
*Knows that make up makes her prettier* *Noelle is a Queen at contouring*
*Does whatever she can to look pretty*
*Hugs back tightly* you go girl :P
It IS hard to get yourself in the right mindset, especially if you're suffering from something.
My friends like to wear makeup and they really enjoy doing their makeup in the morning . . .
They like wearing makeup so they wear makeup and there's nothing wrong with it. On the other hand, I don't like wearing makeup so I don't and there's nothing wrong with that either. The issue arises when one group tries to assert their views on the other one . . . People who like makeup insisting that everyone else should wear makeup too or people who don't like makeup insisting people shouldn't . . .
So yeah. Um. Um. I need to sleep.
that reminds me...one of my friends is bisexual and he came in wearing make up and nail polish today..and a girl-earring XD We kept insulting him for it and stuff like that, but he knew we were joking, we even told him just to make sure and he is alright with it XD
Mainly probably cuz he knows we're somewhat bisexual too and not homophobic XD
Like I'd kiss a guy but never been aroused by one. it's weird XD
:) Night Gemma. Hope your headache goes away.
*hugs gemmy*
Well, thank you, but last time I did, I was yelled at for promoting depression and "suicide techniques".
So it will remain on my blog, where, when people venture there, it won't be on my shoulders if it triggers them..
I might look into your blog, noelle. I've seen it before but not properly.
Feel free, it's in the public domain...
No though I can't believe I said that
I was so insensitive
I just said it and Lizzie said "Aww dude *looks sad*" and I was like "OMG SHIT I'M SO SORRY"
Like Jesus christ
HOW COULD I FORGET THAT SHE HAD A FRIEND CALLED HOPE WHO'D LITERALLY JUST DIED
HOW
*LOOKS UPSET*
Yes sorry I'm sleeping now
It's alright, Star. It is a mistake.
She'd literally taken the day off school today because she was so upset about a jurisdiction of things including Hope dying
Like omg
D:
(Definitely sleeping now)
^myriad
@Noelle: I know. I'm just venting. :/
I know you are. But- it's alright. Give her some time. She knows you weren't being intentionally insensitive.
...
i just don't know anymore
u still here?
i am
But
..
yes? Is it one of those mood swings? How are you feeling?
I might go, actually. I need to be alone for a bit.. Goodnight
well, goodnight. I hope you find peace alone.
*didn't actually read how that ended, but leaves Noelle and Star lots of hugs*
*lots of hugs*
*even though the comment is late*
*and leaves warm tea of your choice, snacks if you want them, which can include healthier things like baby carrots, cucumber sticks, and any kind of dip of your choice, plus the usual sweets*
I'm hosting a mini-game thing.
If you're interested in a game like Town of Salem but with some variations and a different format that gives more time to think
If you're willing to commit to checking at least once a day for 2-3 weeks
If you can respect the rules of the game, play fairly, etc.
Sign Up Here
(My room gets light too damn early *grumbles*
I think it's the Faeries waking me up
They are tricky )
( did you think of one coz I can :P )
(My pacman dressed arrived!)
*likes Hamlet*
DEREK YOU MADE A MISTAKE IN SP BOOK 9!!!!!!!
Page 477 in the book.
HALF SPOILER FOR BOOK 9?
"Sacrifices had to me made" said Ravel.
Well I'm sure it meant be made but it took me moments to figure it out when I tried guessing what it meant. I just finished the book and my god. Too much goddamn tension that I wanted to stop when I was a bit over 3/4s of the book......
(Words cannot describe how much I love heathers the musical)
(*showering* not hot enough
*turns knob 1/16th of an inch* Satan himself pours out of the shower head and licks your back seductively
Funniest thing I've seen all day XD )
(*hisses at homework*)
(Yeah. It is. I've been doing maths all evening and since 4pm. Chemistry and French jus aren't getting done.Fuck it all, there's no point in even fucking trying anymore.)
(*hugs jai*)
(What's the point?
I can't do anything anymore. Why even bother trying?
I can't maintain the friendship that kept me going for so long.
And without that I'm just reverting back to the whiney, sad, pathetic brat I used to be. My grades are crashing and burning. They where the only thing I was proud of achieving and now I can't even hold onto them.
So what the hell am I even trying for?
...
*sigh*)
(You can do it jai!!!!)
*hugs Jai* The point is finding a point.
In my opinion anyway.
You just keep chugging along until you find something to chug along for . . .
Chloe's right. You can do it, even if it might not seem like that right now.
@jai(if you give up, things'll never get better. The only way is to keep trying, no matter how much it hurts or how badly you want to give up. Its only when you finally stop that it becomes pointless. So long as you are willing to struggle on, then it is worth it.)
:/
Rough day again
@Noelle: :/ *hugs*
(kicking about...)
(um...might have to go in a minute. sorry.)
:/
One of my teachers was alarmed, i suppose, by my essay that I turned in. it was a "body essay", and it was a creative writing thing, and she wanted us to write from the perspective of our body, speaking to us.
And she was alarmed, so I have to speak with her on thursday.
It was part of our Christian Lifestyles class- our unit was on body image. So.. I mean, required class at a Catholic school goes, it's kinda norm, I suppose.
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