With Desolation only a few days away, I am still hard at work on the third and final Demon Road book.
From the beginning, I wanted these books to be as streamlined as possible — I wanted them short and punchy. Now, I completely failed with Demon Road, as it was a pretty big book, and only got slightly better with Desolation, which is shorter, but it looks like I'm finally getting the hang of this with Book 3, which will hopefully be the perfect length.
And the title?
Posts
4,833 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1801 – 2000 of 4833 Newer› Newest»*hugs Jai*
(Well said Jai
I can't express how annoyed I am -_-)
(Hey Fabi)
Hey Inky. [hugs]
Sorry for the bad timing.
How are you?
(*hugs* I'm alright, but saw what FERA said and that pissed me off
How are you?)
Yeah, I strongly agree that that was unacceptable behavior.
I'm ok. I don't think I can stay long. I had something I was going to say, but it's not important, so I'll come back later at a better time.
(*hugs people back*
*snuggles fabu-lous*)
(+thumper voice* if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all
Okay, remember my email is always open *.^)
(*tickles everyone*)
[hugs Jai]
@Inky I can email it to you if you want, but when I say "not important" I mean that it's really not important or urgent or anything. Thanks though.
(That's okay, I'm just saying its open at anytime to anyone ^.^)
My old headteacher used to amend that saying abd say "If you can't think of anything nice to say, think of something."
Now I'm older I'm like "psh no. Firstly, Mr headteacher, ONLY MISERY LIES DOWN THAT ROUTE! WHITE LIES ARE NOT ALWAYS GOOD! And secondly, Mr thumper, SOMETIMES SAYING NASTY THINGS IS JUSTIFIED like if someone said "your friend's such a bitch" yes I should just sit there and say nothing in response to that isn't that a fabulous idea -_-"
(*squeals and boops Chloe's nose!!!* NO TICKLING
Also RP?)
THERE IS A GOOD TIME FOR WHITE LIES
THERE IS A GOOD TIME FOR SAYING NOTHING
THERE IS A GOOD TIME FOR HARSH RESPONSES
YOU CAN'T APPLY BLACK-ABD WHITE RULES TO HUMAN INTERACTIONS! THEY'RE TOO INTRICATE FOR THAT!
(sorry.)
I bloody hate tickling.
My dad used to tickle me a lot when I was younger.
Now I really can't stand it.
Being tickled over the Internet is much more bearable though. C:
(*sulks*
Okay ^.^)
(Tickle Jacko)
Mark: it was only a couple scratches Clocky, I knew I wouldn't die, I knew you'd get me here in time even if I did over do it.
(He is too ticklish!)
Clocky: I was worried..
(So is I xD)
Mark: *kisses her gently* I'm okay Clock, don't worry.
(But ..)
Clocky: *kisses* I don't want to lose you
(There there sis.)
Mark: You won't, don't worry.
*holds her close*
So, any idea what big shiny was talking about?
Clocky: I'm... Well... Maybe? *whispers* guardian angel
Mark: *raises an eyebrow slightly*
Hmm. That'd explain the wings and shiny and "the fallen one" thing.. Huh
Clocky: what do we do?
Mark: What can we do? I mean if they couldn't find the angel we can't can we?
Clocky: she must be somewhere around me..
Mark: Well what do we do if we find her? Hand her over?
Clocky; no!
(I've got to revise now sorry, I must go
I'll check this place every fifteen minutes or so )
(That's okay :)
Mark: then what do we do?
(I love you, Hamlet)
(I return)
Xloxky: I don't know...
(BbhrwiwiswwbgsjsksnnHGHJSIWIWKQLAOLWKSSJSNSBSJSJSISKWWWNWJJAJSIUICIDKI)
Mark: If we hand bee over you'll be safe.
you lot amuse me sometimes :P
Clocky; I can't do that
(Why?!
Wanna be treated decently, act it)
(*growls and blows up Derek*
Why Fera? Because we actually care about other people? Because we actually care about what impact our words will have?)
Mark: why?
Clocky: she's been watching over me...
Mark: You think.
Clock you; what?
Let me lay out the rules of freedom of speech before they come up, because I usually have to say this at some point.
Freedom of speech is freedom from legal consequences due to your speech (and tbh total freedom of speech isn't legal in many European countries including the UK).
Freedom of speech is not freedom from social consequences. If you say things people find offensive and and unacceptable and inappropriate abd whatever else, it's like they're going to act with anger and habit dislike for you, and that's their right just as much as it is your right to say whatever. Tbh they have a bigger right but nm that.
Seriously, Fera, what you say isn't amusing people and you're only making enemies, and if you want to make enemies then um well done bit if you want to make friends you're really going about it the wrong way. Sure, there'll be some people who'll appreciate your jokes, but those people aren't here. If you're looking for appreciation or friendship or companionship or whatever, I wluld advise you to either find another way to do it or go somewhere else, because it's not working out for you as it is. And if you're not and your goal is merely to cause upset, then I feel sorry for you, but I really wish you wouldn't cause upset to these people. I like most of them.
(Thank you Star ^,^ always wise with words
I see you like cordelia from King Lear, one of the only characters with insight
Forget the part where she dies)
@Chloe: :) *hugs* *is muchly honoured but doesn't think your praise of me is deserved*
(*hugs* you seriously are admirable, you can weigh up both sides of a debate and see clearly, as well as use good analogies)
Mark: Well we aren't sure that she is a guardian angel.
Clock you: I know she was!
Like, what I said was partially a joke and partially not. I tried addressing a few issues here and there without saying anything too horrible. Thing is, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting attention sometimes. But I also do believe, that after some time, people start magnifying their problems and even maybe believe them to be that bad, whereas they actually have an alright life. Yes, some conditions are hard to deal with, but that doesn't mean acting the way some people act. Also, with the intelligence levels of some-augmented by their knowledge of psychology, I don't fully reject the idea of a very controlling behavior-possibly wanting everyone to care by seeming fragile and innocent.
OH SHIT
*shocked face*
I was just on WhatsApp and I just said something to the effect of "Hey if you knew someone called Hope and she died you could make some inappropriate joke about your Hope being dashed abs it would be fabulous" and I totally forgot that Lizzie's friend called Hope died a few weeks ago and Lizzie's still really upset about it
Oh shit
Oh shit
*looks shocked abd ashamed*
*feels like a terrible friend*
Oh my god that was the worst thing I've ever said.
Oh shit.
Mark: Okay, okay! Well I mean.. We can't know for sure..
Hawk: *smacks into the window*
*flops onto the floor outside*
Like seriously omg
I can't believe that
(Oh star.. *hugs gently*
*apologies but I'll be avoiding talking about this topic as much as possible because I'm in a foul mood which won't help if we're trying to calmly talk to fera*)
Clocky: *hears that and runs outside*
(*sighs* depression is very serious FERA
I've never dealt with it, Noelle has been for years
Depression causes someone to interpret life negatively
My nan had it years ago from a bump in the head
She couldn't go outside for years)
(*hugs star *)
It's fine star. Any joke that one makes could offend someone at some point. If you didn't tell it to her face, it shouldn't be that much of a deal.
it's fine jai, I can deal with foul. Doesn't affect me all that much :P
(I agree with people getting offended too easily these days but there is a line and you crossed it)
Mark: *follows her*
Hawk: *knocked itself out on the window*
*is quite badly bitten and one of the eyes is scratched quite badly*
Sorry sorry
*tries to calm down*
*scrolls up to read the comments that were made whilst that was hapoening* *oh shit why did I say that* *shit*
@Chloe: :) :) *hugs* *is pleased* No. I'm really not that admirable. But I'm pleased you think so.
@Fera: I don't know how many times I have to explain this . . . There is a thing called depression. It's a mental condition. It makes you feel really shitty all the time even when there's no particular reason for you to be feeling as shitty as you do. It doesn't matter how alright your life is, if you've been shot in the leg then you're still gonna be in pain and unable to get up and walk regardless of if you live in a mansion and have your dream job or whatever. And if you have depression you will be really negatively impacted by problems that aren't even that bad.
Anyway now that's out of the way - yeah, some people really do magnify their problems. I would give an example here but it might be quite offensive and derail the discussion, but yeah, I live in a first world country, I don't have many significant problems in my life, and there are plenty others who are in a similar position to me (NOT that everyone who lives in a first world country is automatically free from sognificant problems. That is DEFINITELY DEFINITELY not the case) and they go abd invent problems so they can feel like their lives are significant and they get to complain and feel oppressed or whatever. It happens. It's bloody irritating too. It is REALLY important not to assume people are making mountains out of molehills until you actually know them though.
But see the thing is, Fera, if you make your arguments in the way you did, people won't ne inclined to agree with you because they'll be too busy being shocked abd offended abd upset. It's like people won't read your "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MISSING DOG?" signs if you smear them in red paint. So if your point is to make a point, then with these people, in this environmental, it might be better to make it in a more socially acceptable, less offensive way. That way people listen to you.
It's sad we all have to conform to a more generalised way of speaking in order to be heard but that's the way life is.
Clocky: *gasps and scoops the bird up*
*walks fastly but carefully to inkys room and uses the magical bed*
"depression is a serious matter"- Everyone gets it. If you think I don't know what it's like to sit in a pool of your own blood, crying your eyes out because you think there's no way out of your shitty life, or perhaps crying yourself to sleep because every minute, every step that you're taking seems weak and meaningless, then you're mistaken. I do very well know what negative emotions feel like. I often dwell in them. But this is about the attitude of some-always wanting to be the center of attention and even lashing out at people who want to help. That's the problem, not the fact that one has it or has a more negative out-look.
Mark: *follows ber back in*
Hawk: *opens it's eyes after a few minutes*
*fluffs her feathers and stands up*
yeah i get that star. Perhaps in some way, I didn't even want people to come to an agreement with me. I just wanted to express it.
Hell though the very least I should be able to do is remember which of my friends' friends have died recently!
:) *hugs Jai and Chloe back*
@Fera's first comment: No comment, whether negative or positive. Sorry.
@Fera's second comment: :/ Yeah. I can understand that. But like, if you don't understand "hurting people = bad" then you probably never will, so um, I'm not sure I need to go through that one.
Clocky; are you okay birdy?
(I don't know anyone here who wants attention or lashed out at people trying to help
It does matter that you've been through some experiences, I feel really bad about it and I would do anything to help someone in that situation
However, you shouldn't say things like your joke because it still hurts people)
*still moaning* Mate. It's going to take me a while to forget about this.
That was literally provably the worst thing I have ever said in my ENTIRE life. I cannot think of ANYTHING worse than that.
*looks ashamed*
Oh well perhaps i simply don't mind hurting some people-there's not really any guarantee it hurt anyone anyways. I obviously understand it's bad XD I've never claimed to be the modern jesus :P
I don't know if I should intercede
Hawk: *looks up at her*
*shifts, into that small little girl who nearly killed Mark, who warned Clocky against him, who is sometimes seen as a small black wolf*
*his skin is like chocolate and her eyes are a startling green*
*her hair is long and black, it has a very slight bounce to it*
*and enormous black wings sprout from her shoulder blades*
*rubs her head slightly*
Windows. Evil evil windows.
Mark: You?!?!
@Fera: In which case, I think further discussion on this may be pointless.
I actually talked to my school counselor today. She's so nice- she has two children, and she gets it.
I..
I talked about here, to her. About everything. Showed her snapshots, and things.
She has been trying to help me
(*hugs Noelle* that's brilliant!)
Clocky: oh, hello!
(I'm glad you have someone to talk to Noelle ^.^
*sighs* I thought you learned FERA)
WG: Hey. Good to see you're well. I should get going again.
*stands up*
Mark: You tried to kill me?!?!
@Noelle: :) :) Oh good. *hugs*
You do realize that, at any point, you could leave and not come back right? If you think we're being so harsh to you(even though it's actually like 1 or two people that do not treat you the way you want them to-and even they tried helping at some points), wouldn't it be more logical to leave?
Tooo edgy 5 me m9
Gclocky; please stay a bit...
(Why should I leave if this place is a haven, a family to me)
@Fera: Firstly, sometimes leaving is hard. Secondly, sometimes the benefits out weight the disadvantages.
The struggle to leave is an irrational thing (not an insult; love is also an irrational thing) so it may be hard to get your head around if you don't experience it, but it's still a thing.
WG: I really can't, I still have hounds after me
^struggle to leave when the disadvantages outweigh the benefits
Clocky; can't we help you?
I love you too, Noelle, and I'm glad your counselor has been of assistance.
(It's a haven to me... I have friends and connections here
I'm becoming more and more distant from my friends irl ...)
WG: Not with these guys. They're slow, but not slow enough to be tricked out of tracking me here.
...
I'm not going to respond. I'm just not going to.
*Hugs Hamlet* you're cool.
Clocky: I see... Why are you being chased again?
WG: *shrugs*
I broke a rule, fell unofficially. They're sore cause I still have wings and I fell YEARS ago.
@Gemma: It's a haven to some people. It has been a haven abd not been a haven to me at various points through the years. During that time, it's always been a haven to some.
*shrugs*
Perceptions. They're weird.
Clocky: what can you do?
Not talking about anyone but noelle. She is acting as if we're properly insulting her on a daily basis. And that's not the case. Even if she is more prone to seeing the negatives...depressed people usually don't like others to see their depression. It doesn't look like the case here. She is even going the heights of telling literally everyone about how bad it is for her here-even though most of the times she hears "i love you" and "hugs". THAT is not depression. THAT is attention seeking. And if she is as smart as she says she is, she realizes this, she had realized it from the very beginning.
And I don't buy her for the very fact that she is really smart.
WG: What can I do? What do you mean?
Clocky; to stop them
(You better shut up FERA
Noelle is not like that
She's been here for years, I may not know here especially well, but I know others do
What makes you an expert on what depression is? It can differ in severity and how it affects certain individuals
I do not think she is attention seeking at all)
Jai... Just ignore him, don't rise to it...
(I'm going to go. I'll come back once I've cooled off.)
(*sits on Jacks lap*
It's not right
I can't stand it)
And you Chloe, I know how you feel about such things, don't rise to the argument, it's not worth it
(I am staying )
Bye jai....
*cuddles Chloe* exactly what I keep talking about, but remember I just over think
[is hugged]
[Gives Noelle a little pat on the back]
Thank you, I think. Being cool is a good thing, is it not? It sounds ought to be a good thing. The alternative would be warm, which is a less agreeable temperature.
Cool. Cooooooool. Hm.
I am cool
You are cool
Thou art cool
He is cool
She is cool
We are cool
You are cool
They are cool
Noelle, you are cool.
I don't even know how to begin to answer such a statement
So I don't think I will
(*cuddles Jack* you are my rock)
Oh dear. Does anyone need to challenge anyone else to a duel? I have a set of rapiers somewhere.
(Id happily accept a duel )
*cuddles Chloe* you are my world
(*kisses Jack* cutie pie )
*Thinks Hamlet is cool for saying she is cool* *She will just hug him, then* Sorry your uncle sucks
(Okay, okay. I'm good, I'm cool, I'm good. Breathing and all that. Focus on the roleplay.)
WG: Run. I can run.
(*hugs jai tightly* welcome back sis)
Clocky: you can't run forever
(*hugs tightly back* Hey.)
WG: I know.
(*ruffles jai hair affectionately *)
Clocky: you must fight them..
*sighs*
*really has nothing else to say, and is trying to complete homework*
*offers everyone hugs*
Actually, on second thought, never mind. I believe one of my rapiers is poisoned, and I would hate for there to be any unfortunate demises.
[to Noelle] I know the truth now. It is unfortunate that my uncle is a lily-livered knave, but at least I know the truth now.
(*hugs star*)
(*huffs and cuddles close*)
WG: Oh that won't work.
*Thinks Star's email about INFP is interesting*
*...*
*Nods to Hamlet* Yeah... *Hands him a little baggie* *It is a present, and a cookie is inside*
lol, what's up? Why so mad? I don't share the same opinion with you? I am trusting my instincts and my brain, which is btw not retarded.
Chloe, I think you trust in others' opinions a bit too much, but hey it's your choice.
(*cuddles*)
Clocky: but..
(*keeps breathing*)
WG: *smiles*
Don't worry, I run fast.
*thinks Noelle's original email was probably more interesting, if you think about it*
*hugs Chloe back :/*
@Fera: People are mad bevause most of them subscribe to the belief that "hurting people = bad."
Yeah.. My type is "The Commander". It's the loop with Napoleon, Thatcher, Harrison Ford.. It's interesting, at least. I think I would make a good "commander". But I'm certainly T and J-driven. Perfectionist, et al.
Clcky; they'll catch you
(I may not know Noelle that well... But I have known her longer than you
And if I trust people's opinions too much, why should I trust yours?)
WG: *nods*
Eventually they will, yeah.
Clcky; they'll catch you
(I may not know Noelle that well... But I have known her longer than you
And if I trust people's opinions too much, why should I trust yours?)
Clocky: we can't le that happen..
I didn't say you should. But why do you trust others' is the question. I don't trust anyone unless i am 100% certain :P
I see star. Ah well, can't be helped can it. I've made my point either way :P
WG: *puts her hands on Clocky's shoulder*
You can't really stop it either.
(I trust these people because they are decent and I trust people unless they give me a reason not to
Now I know I'm sounding argumentative and bitchy, but most of the time I'm one of the nicest, quietest, polite people you'll ever meet
But piss me off...
What was that quote I read?
'There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, the night with no moon and the anger of a gentleman'
OI BLOWING UP DEREK IS MY JOB!!!!
*exploded Derek to prove a point*
Clocky: is there any way to stop them?
@Noelle: :) Oh cool!
@Fera: See, I trust opinions pretty easily . . . I'm very easily swayed. I think it makes me more open minded.
*shrugs* There's disadvantages and advantages to it.
The word decent comes in many forms. I don't personally think that's a reason to trust :P Somebody can be decent but leave you when you're in most trouble and vice versa.
Oh, you really don't want to challenge me on threatening personalities :P I really would rather just not.
(These people have been here and been nice to me, if you don't like the word decent, then I'll use the words trustworthy)
WG: *smiles lopsidedly*
No.
I consider opinions a possibility just as much as everything. BUT unless it's someone i know inside out, I won't give much credibility to their opinions
@Fera: *flips discussion* what are you gaining from not trusting them?
Clocky: there must be..
Again, I am not saying that noelle is definitely like that, but i see a possibility of it and I am seeing more reasons to believe that theory than the "noelle is very nice" one. Could change in the future, who knows.
star: Not being fucked in the ass with a 16 inch strapped on dildo XD
...
That was so inappropriate
(You're not saying that your opinion is definite but you still say all that hurtful stuff..?!
Why don't you keep your damn mouth shut till you learn the facts and you know her better before spouting trash that can impact negatively on many people)
kewl
It's called being cautious, Star.
I always try to give people the benefit of doubt but most of the time I get screwed over and that makes me want to not trust anyone again.
Ohh, she's switching into semi-offensive language, shit has been rustled XD
*sighs* Alright. I'm actually quitting the discussion this time.
(Chloe, take a breather :)
WG: Nope.
@Gemma: :/ True.
Leave her alone
( is the same as frank I've been fucked in the ass too many times and not in the fun way that I don't and won't trust someone till I feel I know what their intentions are with me and why. Some people are shady as hell others I can read like an open book but that doesn't mean either is good. Fuck everyone till I'm givin a reason not to. I hate everyone equally till you give me a reason not to. )
Clocky: is there any way of helping you?
(You enjoy this don't you FERA?
You enjoy people's anger and hurt.,. If that's the case I am stopping
You'll get your comeuppance
Karma is real)
WG: Don't get hurt.
(*hugs Chloe*
Okay. Fera has ever right to not trust people.
But that lack of trust doesn't mean he should be allowed to get away with upsetting others knowingly.)
No, i am rather enjoying the way you said it, I thought it was pretty funny, but sure I do enjoy people's pain...if you say so ^_^
:D either way, this has been a cunt fuck bag of a discussion, continuing in further would probably not achieve a lot. If you have something else to say, I'll respond but otherwise i am done.
And don't worry, I am prepared for whatever's coming my way. I am not afraid of getting hurt in any way, or even dying :)
@Jai: Agreed with the first sentence.
With the second sentence, we have freedom of speech on this blog, so he kind of is allowed regardless of what anyone thinks about it.
(Fera dear, language.)
Clocky: but...
(That's right
He has the right to his opinion
But hurting others?
What if I knew that FERA was sensitive about something and made a really insensitive joke about it, and had a bad opinion about him and showed no remorse or mercy towards him... Wouldn't I get treated like crap too? )
@Fera: I don't want you to avoid hurting people bevause you'Re scared of how we might hurt you in return . . . I'd rather you just didn't want to hurt people.
However we all have our own thoughts and beliefs abd whatnot so y'know.
(@star he's allowed to but he won't "get away with it" in the sense of he will be penalized for it.)
WG: don't worry about it
Nobody can really truly understand Noelle's depression because they aren't her. I don't think it's fair to her to discuss it more and also to be mean to her because of it is rude....
(I'm sorry to drag it out Zaf... I don't want to hurt Noelle or be rude... I'm just trying to make FERA understand it's not okay what he said... )
@Chloe: Tbh if you did that I'd be really shocked and would expect you to quickly reticofy that you didn't mean it like that . . .
Tbh just today I said something very insensitive to Lizzie about something she was really sensitive about (can't beliebe that) and nobody gave me shit about it bevause they knew I didn't mean it. You tend to get a bit of leeway to redeem yourself before people are just like "nope had enough of this shit" and after that, yes, the crap tends to pile in.
no actually, you probably wouldn't chloe XD Most people on this blog don't like me much because I am not afraid to say what i think, and sometimes in a bad way too. They'd have a bias for you ,even if you didn't. But that wouldn't happen anyways, because there's literally nothing that offends me. People have made a lot of really offensive jokes about people close to me and even me and I shrug it off and sometimes even laugh with them :P
*appreciates the help that people are giving*
*Would appreciate it, though, if the language were more docile* *Not that she can force anyone to be more docile if they want to, but personally abhors the c-word, and dislikes graphic sexual imagery, when both are used in demeaning ways*
@Jai: Yeah. *nods*
@Zaf; Sorry . . . *looks guilty*
@Chloe: I'm not sure he will understand. :/ but I commend you for trying.
(Thanks star
Fera... People would be more kind to you and like you more if you stopped with the really offensive jokes
Look, we used to be friends for a while, right? But you crossed a line and now I find myself unable to be friends with you any longer
I must retire to bed now
Nos da people
And sorry for any upset I may have caused )
Goodnight, Chloe
(Well, I'm going to try sleep now because I have an art exam first thing in a morning and sleepy Jaimie + craft knife = ow. I trust you'll keep it civil and try to watch your language. Night.)
Nahh actually, I am pretty clearly conscious about what i am saying, star. If she is truly a nice person with really bad depression, then I'll most likely regret it sometime later the line. But I am willing to take the guilty-and maybe cause a little hurt. That's just me.
@Fera: It's like I said,people are more likely to lash out at you because you've exceeded the leeway.
And additionally . . . if you phrases what you thought eloquently and considerately, fewer people would dislike you. Fact of life, I'm afraid.
You know, Catherine says offensive things to me all the time. I usually just laugh with her. I don't mind it. I even enjoy it. And sge's asked me if I want her go be nicer to me, and I said I didn't.
If the person you're being offensive to doesn't mind, then it's all banter and it's fine. However, Catherine wouldn't day the kind of things she says to me to a random stranger or to someone like her other friend Jasmeet, because she knows it might be hurtful. She only says them to me because she knows it won't hurt me.
I know I'm fine with hurtful statements made at my expense, and I don't call her out on the things she says bevause they're not causing hurt. However, I know not everyone is like me bevause were all different people who have different vulnerabilitues, and so if someone was treating someone else like Cat treats me and the someone else was getting really hurt by it, I hope I'd be able to stuck up for them. Bevause I know that what's okay for one person isn't okay for another, and that the joke ends when one side isn't laughing.
Just because you can take it doesn't mean everyone csn, and it doesn't mean they should just "man up," either - people are wired differently and it can be impossible for some people to just take it. Doesn't make you any better than them. It doesn't matter whether you think it's "barely offensive" or not - if people are getting hurt, it's gone too far.
Sorry.
And I am tired of going back on my word. I need to take blame for what I do, going back on it seems quite pathetic.
I've never been offended by "bad" words if they mean no offense.
Good night, Silente.
So, if I understand the argument, my depression is fake? Or, is it that it is real, but how I feel doesn't fit into a certain stereotype of someone with depression.
jesus star, you always write so much XD
I mean, it's not that i wouldn't like to be liked, but perhaps that playing the nice guy has never worked for me. Even now, I am trying to be considerate to people(idk why lol) irl and on other sites and stuff... I just...idk there's a kind of sensitivity that triggers this offensive mode for me, which makes me want to express myself quite badly.
@Noelle: I think that's pretty much his argument.
No noelle. I don't like victimization as a whole concept. That probably comes from my very lone-wolf type of personality, most likely.
@Fera: I actually think I understand completely what you mean, although I don't feel it to the same extent you do . . .
Seriously though there will be people and places that appreciate your offensiveNess. However, they aren't here. There is really no way you can gain from being offensive here unless you thrive off the upsetness it causes.
Which part? The whole?
Because, rest assured, I do take oodles of medicine, and I have been to the hospital (it was very expensive), and I do have about three therapists, and I have had blood work done, and I do have physical signs of depression.
But here is the thing- every person is different. Genetically, and mentally. So having depression is different for every person. What I feel and what comes of it is different for me than it would be for Gemma, or for whomever else on this blog has it. My point is that, just because I don't lock myself in my room all day and wear black and listen to MCR and wear heavy makeup and hoodies all the time doesn't mean that I don't have depression.
(The previous statement being a generalized perception, or stereotype, of someone with depression. Obviously, not my image, but society's)
*nods at Noelle*
Victimization?
I mean, I have been emailing Zaf lately, and I apologize for bringing this up again, since she will likely see it, and she should know that I in no way hold it against her,
But for those, what, two and a half years? I don't recall- the last snapshot I have was from October, I think.
I think it was two and a half.
For those two and a half years, I was fairly heavily bullied, and being a victim is just the word used to describe someone in that situation. How can I up play/down play what actually happens? I don't exaggerate my feelings, because when someone tells me to kill myself, or if someone uses the f-word thirty times, and tells me to "fuck myself", any normal person would feel as shit as I do.
There already are places that kinda appreciate it XD
I just don't believe in feeling sorry for yourself and wanting others to feel sorry for you...I do recognize that as my doom in some ways, as i want to do most things alone, but hey.
You know what, I don't believe in feeling sad.
I think my life would be fabulous if I were happy all the time.
Am I happy all the time? no.
I can't help my emotions.
I don't think I've told you to fuck yourself, or to kill yourself either?
@Fera: Then why don't you take your urge to be offensive there?
(That question was not meant to be ad harsh as it sounded. Couldn't word it.)
I'm sorry, but I'm confused.
When have I ever said, "please feel sorry for me"?
I come on here to vent, like many others. Not once have I expected anyone to acknowledge me. It is nice when they do, and I appreciate their words of support, but I have never asked anyone to consciously empathize with me.
Your point star?
Because my urge for something is really bad. But hey, again if i m gonna be like that, I cannot blame anything on my urges. It's my fault :P
You have the first one, but not the second. Others have for the second, though.
*nods at Noelle again*
@Fera: Which one?
To be fairly honest, I do have maybe too much of a fixation for perfection. I don't ever want to mess up. I acknowledge that I do, but i hate it when i do and i hate myself for it :P
Which one what? XD
Which point?
"You know what, I don't believe in feeling sad.
I think my life would be fabulous if I were happy all the time.
Am I happy all the time? no.
I can't help my emotions. "
Oh and ok. I don't remember saying anything like that but my memory must be faulty.
@Fera: My point was, if Noelle does feel sorry for herself a lot, she can't just snap her fingers and be like "You know what, from now on imma never feel sorry for myself again!"
I'm getting quite tired btw and it's affecting my ability to word things. :(Apologies in advance.
I'd like to apologize for the random burst of offensiveness towards you noelle, I am still cautious but ya know...it wasn't the most clever thing I've done.
You don't have to feel like you have to accept it.
Also sorry, I never know how to properly apologize.
It's fine. I don't usually care about grammar unless it's something really studious and intellectual XD
Well, yeah.
.
So as I was saying earlier,
Mrs. Williams talked into the start of D bell, and by the time I arrived back at class, most of the period had passed, with 30 minutes left. We talked about a lot of things that were stressful and triggering for me at the moment, and I really do think that talking to her is helpful
@Fera: Not grammar, just I can't always say what I mean to say right and can give the wrong impression or say things I regret . . .
@Noelle: :) :) Oh good. :) Glad you've found something that helps.
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